Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 8

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 8
Publication Date: December 1993

Let me tell you a story. Back when I began this project at the beginning of the month, I mentioned how issues 17 and 18 of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic were the first issues I ever read of the series. I got lucky, as it wasn’t much longer before the series actually started to get decent. For years, I wondered about the content of those first 16 issues. Trade collections are common place now but, back in the mid-nineties, hadn’t become everyday practice for all comic companies. It wasn’t until 2006 when Archie started to reprint these early issues in the Sonic Archives collections. That is the point when I was first exposed to the truly inane, incredibly silly early days of the series. Out of all the stories I read, I think issue 8’s “’Bots All Folks” struck me as the dumbest. Maybe it goes to show how my taste has involved because, nearly a decade later, I re-read the story and kind of enjoy it.

So what’s “’Bots All Folks” about? Robotnik becomes enraged when he spots Crabmeat reading a collection of comic books. (Which, inconceivably, includes “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics.) However, the superhero comics inspire Robotnik to build a series of superhero-inspired robots as his latest plan to crush that pesky hedgehog. In the back-up story, “A Little Sonic Goes a Long Way,” Sonic and friends discover a hidden cache of musical instruments. Enraged by the music, Robotnik heads after them with his new shrink ray.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Both of these stories are dumb, dumb as hell. “’Bots All Folks” trades in the most obvious kind of parody. Sonic battles Bot-man, a barely connecting riff on Batman. He fights robotic parodies of Magnus - Robot Fighter, Captain Marvel, and Mighty Mouse. Unlike a lot of the dumb parodies in the comic’s early years, there is some free-wheeling absurdity to this story. While Robotnik ordered a robot version of Wolverine, instead he gets a robot version of Steve Urkel. (The comic then ruins the goofiness of this gag by pointing out that both Urkel and Sonic are played by the same actor, esteemed thespian Mr. Jaleel White.) Probably the dumbest yet somehow amusing gag in this strip is the appearance of SPAWNMOWER, a lawnmower version of Todd McFarlane’s definitive nineties anti-hero. Something else that’s great about this story is that, unlike a lot of other early silly Sonic comics, this one was still canon!

Mike Gallagher also peppers the stripe with jokey references to these comics. While Archie’s constant finger-pointing at what was popular on shop racks at the time can go a bit far, a few of these lines made me chuckle. Such as Spawnmower stopping every couple panels to pose dramatically or a sight gag about “McFar Lane.” Or dialogue mentions of “Valiant” or “Image.” Har har. There’s no threat to this story, as Sonic easily demolishes each of the machines but it’s mildly amusing.

The second story is not as good. It is notable for remembering, once again, that Bunnie exist. It’s also the first time we see Snivley actually acting as Robotnik’s assistant, which is nice. Mostly, the back-up story shows off the wild divergence in quality of Dave Manak’s artwork. Manak really is getting better. His action scenes are a little more dynamic here and the characters go off-model far less often. A few panels even make it look like Manak had been studying the official Sega art of the time. Yet, in the same story, it also shows the major flaws of Manak. When the Freedom Fighters are shrunken down, it’s frequently difficult to tell how small they are. They more-or-less look the same size as they always are. It’s weird that an artist can create some compelling action images yet struggle with something as basic as perspective.

Maybe I’m developing Stockholm Syndrome. I actually slightly enjoyed this issue while acknowledging that it’s still not very good. I’m allowed. It proves that, when it comes to the early, goofy days of the comic, Michael Gallagher wasn’t exactly a good writer. But he was slightly better then Angelo DeCerse. I’m sure that helps him sleep at night. [6/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 7

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 7
Publication Date: November 1993

With the seven issue of “Sonic the Hedgehog,” things roll along as usual. We get a goofy pun-tastic cover, in which Sonic displays an interesting selection of classic literature. Angelo DeCesare contributes two silly story with predictable endings and very simple jokes, with a handful of one-page gag strips to pad the book out to an appropriate length. That’s the way things were in the early days of Archie.

 

In the first story, a seesaw related accident leads to the Freedom Fighters uncovering Uncle Chuck’s treasure map. This leads them to Mobius Natural Park, which has been reduced to a toxic wasteland due to Robotnik’s pollution. The cybernetic tyrant and his henchmen are quick behind them, also searching for the treasure. In the second story, Sally dresses up as a witch for Halloween, mistakenly assumes she has magical powers, and receives romantic gestures from Robotnik, who doesn’t realizes this sorceress he’s fallen for is one of the Freedom Fighters.

Before I go on about all the lame things I dislike about Issue 7, I should probably mention the handful of things I mildly enjoy about it. To begin, this is the first issue in quite a while to mention Uncle Chuck. It’s nice when the comic nods towards the characters that would become way more important later. Robotnik’s pollution turning the park into a radioactive doom zone is another example of the ecological themes present in early “Sonic” media. Lastly, I like that the second story is set on “the annual Fright Night,” presumably an analogue for Halloween, and has the characters dressing up in costumes. That’s soon forgotten, as the story goes off in a wildly different direction, but I like the effort.

Now the stupid shit. Thus far, Angelo DeCesare’s writing is really making me miss the comparative subtly of Mike Gallagher. Both of the main stories follow well-trodden comedy clichés. In the first, everyone seeks a treasure that is then revealed not to be riches, gold, or a powerful new weapon. Instead, it’s a personal memento with absolutely zero practical value. From the first panel, I saw that one coming. The second story functions on a ridiculous case of mistaken identity – really, a hat and dress is all it takes to fool Robotnik? – and incredibly unlikely coincidence. Sally and Robotnik are both believe that she has magical powers because a freak geyser just happens to toss a rock into the air when she points at it. Lastly, DeCesare piles on the puns. Look at these things:

“That’s the first seesaw I’ve seen since I saw…” “The natural park looks more like a supernatural park!” After being shot, “I think he’s trying to pin the “BLAM” on us!” “You shouldn’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong cause it won’t be long anymore!” “Too bad, walrus! Tusk! Tusk!” ‘That’s swat you get, SWATbots!” “Hey Buzzbomber! Your family tree has hives!” “It was mighty slick of me to use this oil spill to escape!” “I knew Buzzbomber couldn’t take a little needling!” After scooping something up in a net, “This is what is meant by a net gain!”

Holy shit, dude. You think you’ve got enough there?

After the comic has made Sonic look like a bullying asshole throughout these early issue, issue 7 decides its time to make Princess Sally look like a total bitch. When Sonic and Antoine offer to be her bodyguards while she’s out exploring, she yells at both of them to leave her be. Okay, reasonable if slightly prickly. After Sonic rescues her from Robotnik, after disobeying her order and secretly following her, Sally beats him over the head with a stick. (Which leads to another pun. “Witch way did she go?”) It doesn’t help that Sally, characterized as an independent and capable woman on the cartoon show, needs a man to rescue her after stumbling into stupid peril. One of the one-page gags has Sally reading Antoine the riot act for him daring to name a boat after her. Somehow whizzed in her cereal that morning…

It’s going to get better eventually, right? [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 6

 

 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 6
Publication Date: October 1993

Throughout the history of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic, occasionally Mother Sega has called on the company to publish a story promoting whatever the new video game may be. In the early years of the series, when the stories were non-serialized and mostly self-contained in nature, this wasn’t much of a problem. As the comic developed on-going plots and its own convoluted mythology, sometimes the video game tie-ins would drop in the middle of a story line, interrupting its pacing and flow. However you feel about the game tie-ins, the very first one technically occurred here. Right on the cover, Issue 6 declares itself an advertisement for “Sonic Spinball.”

Despite getting the cover, the version of “Sonic Spinball” that appears here is heavily abbreviated. The game is a nostalgic favorite of mine, as its colorful levels and inventive control gimmicks kept me coming back despite the sometimes steep difficulty. In the comic, Sonic and gang march on Robotnik’s lair only to discover that he’s instead shacked up inside a hollow volcano, dubbing it the Veg-o-Fortress for some reason. For some other reason, the base has been outfitted with pinball-style rails, flippers, and bumpers. Sonic quickly rushes through the four levels, encountering a handful of the games’ enemies and giving us a vague idea of what each stage is like. Then he leaves, the volcano erupting for ill-defined reasons.

This first story is barely a “story.” It really exists only to advertise Sega’s new game. It doesn’t even do that good of a job of it. We meet Rexxon and Scorpius, the main enemy and boss of the first level, briefly encounter some characters and themes from the next two levels, and the final stage is skipped over entirely. Aside from a few random ass appearances from Hip and Hop and Scorpius way down the line, this story would never be referenced again. Robotnik nor Sonic achieve nothing here. It’s weak stuff.

The first story is bad and largely pointless. The second story is content with merely being bad. Even though the Mobius Encyclopaedia tells me this issue was published in October, otherwise known as the Halloween season, the entire second half of the book is devoted to Christmas. An especially dire adaptation of Charles Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol,” at that. Robotnik is recast as Scrooge, Rotor as Bob Cracket, the rest of the Freedom Fighters as Crachit’s starving family, with Sonic occupying the roles of the three ghosts. The comic fusion of the then-current Sonic style with Dicken’s tale is awkward, to say the least. The novel’s moral lesson is ejected entirely, as Robotnik learns nothing from his visions of the past, present, and future. That could’ve been a funny subversion but the book barely has time to acknowledge this. Mostly, it’s an excuse for more lame slapstick, like teenage Robotnik falling face-first in some porridge or Sonic delivering an exploding turkey bomb. And in the end, it’s all a dream. It’s over quicker then “Sonic’s Christmas Blast,” which I guess is something.

The best story in this issue is a one-page gag comic in which Sonic receives an enthusiastic fan letter about Antoine. This one-pager continues to show Sonic acting like kind of a dick towards Antoine for next to no reason. The letter refers to the coyote as “brave and loyal,” which annoys Sonic. Ironically, later in the series, Antoine actually would be characterized as brave and loyal.

The story also introduces Snivley, Robotnik’s much-loved lackey from “SatAM.” He plays the Jacob Marley stand-in during the Christmas Carol riff and, unfortunately, wouldn’t become a reoccurring character in the comics for a few more issues. Michael Gallagher and Angelo DeCesare at least remember that Bunnie exists this time, even if she only appears in a handful of panels, doing nothing.

Archie’s “Sonic” series is still highly disposable at this point. No issue, thus far, is more disposable then this one. Issue six fails at telling a good story, advertising “Sonic Spinball,” or putting on a funny or interesting variation of “A Christmas Carol.” Bah humbug indeed. Merry Christmas, assholes. [3/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 5

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 5
Publication Date: September 1993

Michael Gallagher’s goofy scripts, with their focus on obvious puns and low-brow slapstick, would define the early years of Archie’s “Sonic” title. But they wouldn’t do it alone. With issue five, Angelo DeCesare would begin penning stories. DeCesare would write for “Sonic” on-and-off for years, contributing a handful of minor elements to the mythology without ever making much of an impression. You’d be mistaken for assuming Gallagher wrote the stories this time, as DeCesare does little to distinguish himself from the series’ primary writer up to this point. Despite some minor movement forward over the last two issues, number five has “Sonic” slipping back into sophomoric silliness.

Once again, the comic is broken up into two stories. In the first, Robotnik invites the Freedom Fighters to an Olympic Games-style sports tournament of his own devising. If the Freedom Fighters can achieve victory in even one of the events, the dictator will spare their lives. If Robotnik’s goons win every event, he will roboticize the rebels. This should be an easy victory until Robotnik switches out Sonic’s sneakers with a pair of shoes that saps his energy. Later, the villain sends a robotic termite – obviously called the Termite-Nator – to Freedom HQ, where the cybernetic insect begins to eat the rebels out of house and home.

DeCesare doesn’t show much strength for narrative clarity. I know the series is still a light-weight gag comic at this point, but these two stories push the audience’s suspension of disbelief. Why in the hell would the Freedom Fighters ever agree to Robotnik’s tournament? Why would they put themselves within arm range of their enemy? The story also seems to imply that Sonic gets his super-speed from his sneakers. The comic has already established at this point that Sonic’s shoes merely protect his feet from air friction. The comic, once again, forgets the Bunnie Rabbot is supposed to be a regular cast member at this point. Her super-strength certainly would’ve come in handy during the weight-lifting competition. Throughout the early years of the comic, Robotnik’s goal would be to locate the Freedom Fighters’ secret lair. In the second story, he sends a package to Freedom HQ. I guess the Mobian Postal Service doesn’t communicate with the mad dictator in control of the planet? Even a screwball comedy has to have some interior logic. Issue 5 definitely stumbles in that regard.

The first story is a fairly basic variation on the sports episode every nineties kids cartoon had to do. There’s little to recommend about it. I like the taunting SWATBot that makes an early appearance. I like that Tails’ becomes angry at the machine too. At this point, Tails is still mostly defined as an in-awe fanboy for Sonic so any display of other emotions from him is welcomed. There’s also a bit of novelty in watching Sally attempt to out-swim a robotic octopus. Considering Sonic’s fear of drowning lent this blog its name, I can’t imagine he would’ve been much help in that round. The Termite-Nator is a minor villain that’s always stuck in my brain for some reason. I don’t know why, as the story he’s in is fairly goofy, the villain has no personality, and he would never appear again. He is defeated by swallowing Sally’s super-thick pancake batter, a non-glamorous way for any bad guy to be disposed of. Speaking of minor contributions to the lore, this comic also marks the first appearance of Splats, a Sega-style badnik that never actually appeared in any of the Sega games.

Maybe I always remember the Termite-Nator because of his colorful, amusing design. This issue both shows off the strengths and flaws of Dave Manak’s art. He’s great at cartoony character designs and goofy facial expressions. I like Sally’s look of regret after her pancake batter is used to defeat the enemy. I like the Freedom Fighters’ expressions of righteous indignation during the Olympic games. Manak’s action scenes, however, frequently come off as flat or lifeless. When Antoine attempts the long jump, it just looks like he’s going for a pleasant stroll.

Once again, I have to remind myself that the comic gets better. Issue five is yet another step back to the inconsequential slapstick comedy that sadly defined the series’ first year or so. [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 4

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 4
Publication Date: August 1993

Something I’ve always loved about Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series is how it combined different aspects from all the varied Sonic canons into one. Back then, things were a lot less complicated. Aside from some manga and books not read by many people, the Sonic universe consisted only of a handful of games and two animated series. The comic had the tone of “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” but the characters of “Sonic the Hedgehog.” And, with issue 4, it began to incorporate more concepts from the video games. It would still take a while before the series really utilized them in an interesting way but it was definitely a start.

In the first story, Robotnik has invented a new Roboticizer, that can control the power and size of the machine it makes. An accident causes a lowly salamander to be transformed into UniverSalamander, a badnik so large and powerful Robotnik can’t even control him. Rampaging through the Great Forest, and quickly approaching Freedom HQ, Sonic is forced to transform into Super Sonic in order to defeat the bot. In a back-up strip, Tails learns a lesson about personal responsibility when he tries to take on Robotnik’s forces by himself.

Issue four shows a smidgen of stronger continuity sneaking into the comic. Though she’s not present in the main story, Bunnie Rabbot appears in one of the one-page gag comics. Her career goal of, sigh, becoming a hairdresser is further referenced. Horizont-Al and Verti-Cal also reappear in a one-page gag. The back-up story has Robotnik referencing UniverSalamander’s rampage in the first story. Even Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts make a brief reappearance, in yet another one-page gag strip. It’s not a lot but it does show that the people making this comic were starting to care more. Slightly more.

The main story is no great stakes but I’ve always kind of liked it. The way UniverSalamander is created – a Buzz Bomber mistaking the machine’s control for the Air Conditioner – is goofy as hell. However, I like the idea of Robotnik creating a henchman too powerful for him to control. The character is also basically a giant robot dinosaur, the appeal of which I shouldn’t have to explain. Though he doesn’t come very close, it’s nice to see a villain in one of these story genuinely threaten our main heroes’ lives. The fight only last a few page before Sonic goes Super Saiyan and kicks his ass. But there is some novelty to devoting most of the issue to a battle between hero and villains. And if I’m being totally honest, I may just like UniverSalamander because of his awesome name. 

Issue 4 also leans heavily on meta-gags. When Sonic first appears on page four, he complains about not getting more screen time in his own comic. After the gang gets a peak at UniverSalamander on their monitor, Sonic mistakes it for the “Jurassic Park” video game. Before belching up the hedgehog, the robotic salamander asks the audience to look away. During their one-pager, Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts have to compete at a supervillain audition with a bunch of barely disguised Marvel/DC characters. See if you can spot bootleg Dr. Doom, Lex Luthor, and Green Goblin. The weirdest moment comes before Sonic transforms into Super Sonic. Before leaping into the special zone with the seven Chaos Emeralds, a thus-far game exclusive concept never referenced before, Sonic instructs the reader to help him through the special zone with their Genesis controller. I guess this reveals the sad truth that this comic was originally designed to help sell video games. Sonic would also be screwed because I always sucked at those special levels.

Super Sonic is kind of an asshole. Like regular Sonic, he mocks and belittles his opponent constantly. Since he’s in God Mode, there’s no chance for Sonic to get knocked down to size either. He ruthlessly defeats the enemy before pranking Antoine with a woopie cushion. I know Antoine is still characterized as a bit of a weenie at this point but Sonic’s treatment of him nudges up against bullying. Still, it was sort of neat to see his super form during a time when those variations rarely appeared outside of the video games.

The one-page gags are totally disposable, especially the one featuring Antoine reciting poetry. The back-up story gives Tails’ some much-needed character development. He’s not just Sonic’s fanboy but also a precocious kid who can get in over his head. Dave Manaks’ artwork continues to be serviceable, even if UniverSalamander’s appearance seemingly changes from page to page. That character would never appear again until a “lost” story would resurface in 2006, which was published in the fifth Sonic Archives collected volume. That’s a shame, as he had potential. I would’ve loved to have seen the dark n’ gritty Ken Penders version of a wacky character called UniverSalamander. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 3

 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 3
Publication Date: July 1993

Over its surprisingly long life-span, Archie’s “Sonic” comic has a cast of characters measuring in the hundreds. There are so many critters running around the universe that even I, a huge fucking nerd that’s been reading this series since I was seven, can’t name some of them. Despite what it would become, the comic initially had a small cast. It didn’t even have all the characters from the cartoon show it was ostensibly adapting. Bunnie Rabbot, the widely beloved cyborg rabbit, wouldn’t appear until issue three of the on-going series. Though relatively silly, the issue continues the comic’s slow – really slow – evolution into something worthwhile.

Despite introducing a major character, issue three does not open with that story. Because Michael Gallagher had his damn priorities straight, this one opens with a goofy, pointless story called “The Bomb Bugs Me.” Rotor has been spying on Robotnik for a while, which you think would’ve come up by now. Anyway, he overhears Robotnik saying he has “the bomb.” Since apparently, the Freedom Fighters are familiar with both nuclear weapons and 20th century slang for them, they immediately assuming the robotic tyrant is preparing a nuclear arsenal. Anyway, it’s dumb.

The first story is devoted solely to goofy slapstick antics. The Freedom Fighters seemingly march into Robotropolis, protesting with signs like a bunch of filthy furry hippies. This turns out to be a dumb gag. The next dumb gag has Rotor disguising himself as Robotnik, Robotnik disguising himself as Rotor, and an escalating series of goofy reveals. Though really no less a dumb gag then you’ve come to expect, there’s a certain vaudevillian lunacy to this sequence that mildly amuses me. It all leads up to the biggest dumb reveal: Turns out “the bomb” is a bug bomb. Oh, what a hilarious misunderstanding. Afterwards, there’s a series of one-page gag strips, the most amusing of which comments on Princess Sally’s changing hair color. And she’s not even a redhead yet!

Anyway, on to the important shit. In the second story, Sonic and Rotor head off to stop Robotnik’s incursion into the “Southern Sector” of Mobius. (Ten thousand years later, Ian Flynn would retcon this region of the world as the Southern Baronies, which is kind of like the Antebellum South existing on Mobius for some reason, minus all the slavery.) While there, Sonic rescues a rabbit in the process of being robotocized. She immediately becomes a valued member of the team, her robotic limbs granting her super strength.

 

So issue three belatedly introduces Bunnie Rabbot, one of those most beloved members of the SatAM cast, into the comics' continuity. There are upsides and downsides to this. Firstly, the cartoon show never gave Bunnie a definitive origin, her robotic limbs going unexplained. The comic nicely provides one, showing that Sonic rescued her as she was half-way through a mobile roboticizer. (In his landmark fanfiction, "Sonic Sketchy," Sean Catlett rightly points out that this would likely be a terrifying and incredible painful experience. The comic and cartoon brush over that.) It’s a succinct way to introduce the character and quickly explains her immediate allegiance to the Freedom Fighters. It also provides the story with a fairly clever action beat, when Bunnie uses her super-strength to easily invert the giant Burrow-Bot that attacks Freedom HQ. The way that’s drawn, with the machine circling in the middle of the panels, confused, actually got a chuckle out of me.

 
However, the inevitable downside comes when the comic applies its goofball comedic tone to the new character. Since Bunnie is from the South, she’s immediately characterized as a cornpone redneck. Granted, SatAM started that, since the late, great Christine Cavanaugh voiced Bunnie with a cutesy Southern accent. But the comic takes it way too far. Bunnie makes repeated references to wanting to be a hair dresser. Really? I mean, really? Jesus. Her accent is also written in a way that’s sometimes tricky to follow. “I” is written as “Ah,” “sugar” as “sugah.” The aspiration of styling hair would fade over the years but we’d all just have to get used to the accent. The story also needlessly suggest a romantic attraction between Sonic and Bunnie, which thankfully would rarely be mentioned again.

So issue three is wildly uneven. The first story is the disposable while the second story features some interesting or even intelligent choices right alongside dumb or annoying ones. David Manak’s artwork continues to be goofy and colorful, if overly loose and cartoony at times. It’s not all bad. It’s not all exactly good either. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 2

 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 2
Publication Date: June 1993


Once again, I have to point out that Archie’s comic series, at this early point in its history, more closely resembled the comedic “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” syndicated series, instead of the more serious “Sonic the Hedgehog” series that aired on ABC. This has never been more apparent then in issue two of the on-going series. This comic is devoted to introducing the Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad, otherwise known as the trio of incompetent robot henchman Robotnik regularly made use of in “Adventures.” That’s right, kids, Scratch, Grounder, and even Coconuts were introduced into the comic book before Bunnie was.

These early issues also have an easily predicted formula. The first few pages are devoted to Robotnik describing his frustration with Sonic and the Freedom Fighters' continued insistence on not dying. He then introduces some new scheme, robot, or henchmen. Here, the villain begins by throwing darts at a picture of Sonic before sending Coconuts to hunt down our hero. After he’s easily defeated, Scratch and Grounder follow. They are also easily defeated. That’s basically the plot for the main story this time.

There’s very few laughs in this story. (Though Sonic sending Robotnik Coconut’s heads, like something out of “Seven,” made me laugh.) Scratch and Grounder talk in the same circular dialogue they used in the cartoons. Grounder describing the various things his drill bit hands can do is some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever read in a comic book. All three of the S.S.S.S.S. are fools. (I pronounce that as a long hiss, like the movie "Sssssss.") It only takes a little bit of effort on Sonic and Tails’ behalves in order to defeat them. By the end, Scratch and Grounder are fighting among themselves. There could’ve been some decent dramatic irony here. Just as the robots were beginning to best our hero, via wringing his neck with a goddamn noose, their bickering brings them down. Unfortunately, the comic doesn’t handle this very wall. Basically, the comic is devoted to watching the antics of the unfunny robots. Sonic is reduced to his most smug form. And smug Sonic is rarely fun to read.

The second story in the issue is relatively light on plot but far heavier on world-building. While out collecting rings, Sonic stumbles into an alternate universe. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Anyway, the pocket-dimension is controlled by Verti-Cal and Horizont-Al, two impish fellows with control over gravity and direction. They toy with Sonic for a while before dropping him back out into his own world. There’s a joke about Antoine’s toupee. The end.

Verti-Cal and Horizont-Al are two of the more obscure characters from the Archie Sonic canon. That’s probably because they aren’t very useful. Visually, they look similar. Their personality is limited, mostly telling silly jokes. They’re not even natives to the world where most of the series takes place, making it difficult to incorporate them into plots. The story ends with Al and Cal asking readers if they want to see more of them. Considering they’ve appeared a total of nine times throughout the comic’s history, I’m betting the demand was not especially high.

Before wrapping up there’s some more silly joke stripes. One makes fun of the comic industry’s then-obsession with foil covers. Shit, Archie was bitter in the nineties. Another is a silly speed-related gag set within Freedom Fighters HQ, which is the only time we see Sally in the whole issue. Probably the closest issue 2 comes to being amusing is the two-page stripe about fan speculation concerning the origin of Tails’ tails. Conor Mooney of Binghamton, New York believed that Tails was a genetic mutation, which is the theory I’ve always gone with. (This is, naturally, spun into an X-Men joke.) While another mentions Chronic the Hedgehog and teases the furry perverts in the audience with potential pin-ups of Sonic and Sally.

Dave Manak’s artwork is really stretched to its limit this time. The Verti-Cal and Horizont-Al story features some extremely wonky perspectives of Sonic’s body. At one point, Mike Gallagher can’t even be bothered to write the dialogue and presents the reader with a multiple choice answer. Oh boy. The series is going to get better at some point, right? [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 1

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 1
Publication Date: May 1993


Obviously, Archie’s Sonic mini-series was successful. About two months later, the on-going series began. At this point, the tone is nearly identical. At the start of issue 1, the series still resembles the goofy “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” weekly show instead of the objectively superior in every way SatAM series it’s based on. Aside from the silly stories and jokes, there’s other awkwardness. Sally is still a brunette, Rotor is still Boomer, Bunnie is nowhere to be seen, and the Freedom Fighters still hang out underground. But, hey, that cover art is pretty bitchin’.

Anyway, issue begins with Robotnik hanging Sonic with a noose before smashing his body to pieces with a bat. Oh wait, it’s just a dummy. Anyway, his latest scheme is the Krudzu, a mechanical vine with more then a passing resemblance to Audrey II from “Little Shop of Horrors.” Seeding the Great Forest with the plant results in Antoine unknowingly bringing it into Knothole H.Q. Luckily, Tails, a bucket of water, and Mother Nature intervene. Later, Sonic runs into the Casino Nights Zone and is captured by Robotnik, forced to be the ball in a giant pinball machine. Also, there’s some dumb jokes.

The tone of the comic still remains sitcom light. Antoine ventures out of Knothole because he dislikes that Sally is paying more attention to Sonic then him. (What Sonic and Sally are doing at the time is discussing framing a map.) He plans to win her over by grabbing her some flowers, which is how the Krudzu ends up inside the base. The Krudzu is a potentially interesting threat. The sass-talking mechanical plant is shown taking over the entire forest in a day. Despite being a seemingly serious threat, the Krudzu has a disappointing weakness: Water. Tails shorts it out with a bucket. Conveniently, a thunderstorm blows in later that day, destroying Robotnik’s entire plan. You’d think Mobius’ tyrant wouldn’t approve an operative that could be defeated by light drizzle. Or he would at least not launch it on a day calling for rain. Basically, the issue introduces a potentially interesting and threat and resolves it in the lamest way possible. (Nearly two decades later, future writer Ian Flynn would bring the Krudzu back and implement its potential better.)

The second story of the issue is better if only because it has more action. Though “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” was released in November of the previous year, the story seems partially designed to promote the game. It’s set in the Casino Night Zone, one of the most memorable stages from the game. Sonic even out-right instructs the reader to play the game! The plot of Robotnik publicly announcing a speech in the zone, and Sonic easily sneaking in, is awfully goofy. There’s plenty of lame jokes about gambling and the house always winning. When Sonic gets captured, Robotnik shoves him in a pinball and tosses him around a machine. The way Sonic escapes is fairly absurd but shows him using his brains a little. Even before “Sonic Spinball” came around, writers loved putting Sonic in a pinball machine. The story never exactly generates tension but at least there’s some action and fun.

The rest of the Freedom Fighters don’t get much development. Antoine is shown to be a coward. Rotor is a tinkerer with a prankish streak. I think Orbonaut, a minor badnik even by badnik standards, gets more page-time in this issue then Tails does. Beyond that, the hate-on Sonic and Robotnik have for each other is the point of this issue. Sonic fucking blows him up at the end, which leads to the villain sailing through the air while babbling to himself. There’s still a smidgen of world-building here, with the introduction of a new zone and some new enemies.

Dave Manak’s artwork is better here then in the last issue of the mini-series. It’s still very cartoony and loose. Luckily, none of the characters go horribly off-model. Presumably to fill pages, Michael Gallagher’s scripts throws in a bunch of gag strips. You want some horribly impractical Sonic bumper stickers? Three – count ‘em, three! – one-pagers concern the Freedom Fighters awarding Sonic some statues, Sonic answering a question about his legs spinning, and the hedgehog giving us a recipe for chilly dogs. Yes, that was entirely essential, Archie.

Anyway, issue one is a fairly inconsequential way for the proper series to start. It doesn’t seem much different then the goofy mini-series. It would still be some time before the comic found its footing. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (Original Mini-Series): Issue 3

Sonic the Hedgehog (Original Mini-Series): Issue 3
Publication Date: February 1993


As the original “Sonic the Hedgehog” started to wind down, the series was already getting better. The third issue of the series, which was numbered 2, had a single story line which slowly started to build up the Archie’s series long history of convoluted mythology. As the final issue of the mini-series rolled out, an on-going continuation was already in development. The last part of the mini-series, which was bafflingly numbered three, sees the quality of the series back-slide. It’s a goofy story with little affect on the on-going plot line of the series.

Issue 3 features two stories. The first of which begins with Sonic being chased over a cliff by Robotnik in an Egg-Mobile. He has an annoying dream about being a boy and growing up with Robotnik as a child, revealing their rivalry beginning in boyhood. The second story of the issue shows Boomer devising a disguise so that Sonic can personally infiltrate Robotnik’s base. While there, he plans to rescue his Uncle Chuck and his dog Muttski.

The first half of issue three, entitled “Sonic Flashback!,” is, thus far, the worst “Sonic the Hedgehog” story I have read for this retrospective. It begins with a generic action beat, with Sonic stomping on Crabmeats amid a barren green field. When he falls from the cliff and becomes unconscious, Robotnik doesn’t murder our hero in his sleep. What follows is a bizarre combination of flashback and dream sequence. We see Uncle Chuck forging Power Rings which is an acceptable if incongruous image. Afterwards, we see Sonic and Robotnik as kids, squabbling and arguing. The villain makes robots out of Chuck’s tracker, which results in a crash, causing him to receive a fierce tongue-lashing. As revenge, he cooks up a killer robot out of random crap lying around.

It’s bad. Thankfully, the comic doesn’t even pretend that such a ridiculous origin story is cannon. It is immediately dismissed as a dream sequence and an “imaginary story,” by the end. Imaging the hero and villain growing up together as kids is a lame, hackneyed idea. Basically, this story makes your average episode of “Muppet Babies” seem like a masterpiece in comparison. Sonic directly addresses the audience, asking us if we want to see more imaginary story. Considering how bad this one was, and that we never got any more, the general audience’s response was as negative as mine.

The second story is slightly better but still hugely inconsequential. Rotor’s robot disguise is literally just a pair of robotic jaws and swirly red contact lens. Sonic’s flawless infiltration of Robotnik’s lair involves him telling the evil tyrant that he’s totally a robot now, guys, I swear. His subterfuge climaxes with him blowing up a robot factory, which I suppose it’s fairly substantial. I know this is a goofy comedy comic at this point. Yet it really discredits Robotnik as a threat that he would buy this trick at all.

What bit of art this stupid story has comes when Sonic finds his uncle and dog. This meeting occupies a page plus one panel. Afterwards, Sonic gets super-pissed and goes on a warpath. This certainly makes his following actions understandable. (Though if he had his arch-enemy right there and was especially angry at him, you’d think his actions would be a little more extreme.) If you’re wondering, Sally and Antoine put in a brief appearance in this story. Antoine gets humiliated and Sally shares some more belligerent sexual tension with Sonic.

As the end to the original mini-series, issue three is certainly an underwhelming piece of work. Dave Manak would provide the art for this issue, quickly becoming the main artist during the book's early years. His work is similar to Scott Shaw's, with a comparable cartoon edge. However, his work can also be quite sloppy which makes it less visually appealing. Sonic goes horribly off-panel on the second panel of page five, for example.

Archie’s Sonic series is still in its infancy at this point and would remain so for about another year. As the dawn of the regular series arrives, all I can say is: It gets better. I swear! [4/10]