Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 60

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 60
Publication Date: April 1998

During my previous “Sonic” review, I mentioned how the new format provided writers an oppretunity to revisit old concepts or try out new ones. Sonic and Tails traveling the world, having adventures, allowed the heroes to run into all sorts of scenarios. Instead of using this blank slate to explore untested concepts, the Archie writers seemed to be trotting out characters nobody was that eager to see again. Mike Gallagher yanked Horizont-Al and Verti-Cal out of blissful retirement. With issue 60, writer and artist Frank Strom returns. Unsurprisingly, that means Monkey Khan – a character he created that no one else, including the audience, was interested in – returns too.

Sonic and Tails, on their travels, come upon the land of Leung West. The first thing they notice is a giant, burning mountain. Soon, the heroes encounter local residents Li Moon and Li Yuen. They inform the hedgehog that the villainous Iron King and Iron Queen have set the mountain on fire using magic. Only a magical fan, stored in the Iron King’s arsenal, can put out the flames. Being general do-gooders, Sonic and Tails decide to help out. At that point, the Iron Queen sends Monkey Khan, who is under her control, to prevent the good guys from accomplishing their mission.

Like I said, Frank Strom was clearly only interested in his own ideas and concepts. Not only does the hyper-lame Monkey Khan return, a vaguely Chinese setting comes along with him. There’s a new supporting cast, in the form of Li Moon and Li Yuen. Despite Yuen obviously being a lion, Moon looks more like a raccoon with a tiger tail randomly stuck on.

Monkey Khan gets his own rogue gallery, with the Iron King and Queen. None of these new characters are particularly interesting. Both are takes on the generic “big dumb bruiser” and “cackling witch” archetypes. Since Khan is clearly Strom’s baby, he nearly defeats Sonic in combat. The story ends with Khan discovering that he’s a literal king, a prophesied hero of the area. More than once, it feels like Sonic has stumbled into some other comic book. And not a good one either.

Moreover, Strom’s artwork is incredibly off-putting. He draws everyone with these huge heads and eyes that vary in gigantism from panel to panel. Strom attempts perspective shots, by changing the size of the hands and feet depending on their position on the page. Truthfully, he can’t pull this off, so it looks like every one’s limbs are shifting size as well.

The Iron King and Queen are fairly bland designs. For some reason, Storm always draws the Queen with black shadows around her eyes. Strom’s action is incredibly flat as well. Sonic’s fight with Monkey Khan is incredibly static. The Iron Queen floats around on a magical disc, meaning she never truly interacts with anyone. When Sonic blows the Iron King away with the magical fan, it looks like Strom cut out a previous picture of the King and pasted him on another page.

As underachieving as the artwork is, Strom’s writing may actually be worse. Like I said, the plot is an uninspired fetch quest, facing Sonic and Tails against a dull duo of generic baddies. As bland as it is, that’s fine. More routine plots have been utilized to decent ends in this book before. But for some reason, Strom sticks hopelessly dopey dialogue into the character’s mouths.

Here’s just some of the cliché or distracting expressions utter in this issue: “Holy mackerel! Easier said than done! Bingo! I spy with my little eye! Little dickens? Crud! Recess time is over? Oh, puh-leeze! Cowabunga! Darn your socks! Don’t have a cow! Cheezit! Blast you! It’s a cakewalk! Curses – foiled again!” When the dialogue isn’t hokey, it’s repetitive. At one point, Tails uses the word “staff” twice in one sentence. Amateur mistakes like this make the story a struggle to get through.

After that shitfuck, even a mediocre back-up story looks decent in comparison. “The Ultimatum” is the latest in the “Tales of the Freedom Fighters” story arc. In it, King Acorn summons Sally to his chamber. He reveals the Source of All to her. He says it's pass time for her to bathe in the weird, magical liquid, taking on her birthright as future ruler of Mobius. Sally is surprisingly okay with this before the King reveals she’ll have to be married first. The Source will choose her mate and it definitely will not be Sonic. The Princess is certainly not okay with this and she and her dad separate on bad terms.

My problems with the entire Source of All concept were aired in a previous review. I’m not a huge fan. “The Ultimatum” unfortunately presents several other aspects I also dislike. Despite King Max being exorcised of Ixis Naugus’ spirit, he still acts like an unreasonable dick. Romance drama also rears its ugly head, as the King disapproves of Sally and Sonic’s relationship. Both of these are story threads the comic would stretch out for years. Both of them are tiring. We all know Sonic and Sally are destined to be together, despite whatever suitors the book may cook up for her. After fighting for so many years to get him back, it was always a disappointment that King Acorn would be a jerk for so long.

Still, as underwhelming as “The Ultimatum” is, at least it’s about characters we care about, as opposed to Monkey Khan. At least there’s some honest emotion at work here, as contrived as it can be. Things are changing in Knothole. The question of whether or not Sally will be able to handle being royalty is a genuinely interesting dilemma. The artwork, from Manny Galan, is decent. It’s not his best work, as Sally and her dad go off-model a few times but it’s still pleasant to look at.

I don’t know why Archie keeps letting Frank Strom work on the book. Penders’ work may be incredibly uneven and subject to his bizarre, frustrating creative quirks. But at least he’s done good work before. Strom clearly has no interest in the “Sonic” verse. That hella’ lame cover story paired with a weak back-up makes issue 60 a very disappointing read. [4/10]