KNUCKLES FAMILY TREE!

If this blog hasn’t made it entirely apparent, I have a real love-hate relationship with Ken Penders’ work on Archie’s “Sonic” book. On one hand, I love the world he created for the comics. I’m fond of many of the characters he added to Sonic’s universe. He even popped out a decent story every once in a while. On the other hand, his quirks as a writer were often infuriating. He relied too much on self-involved mythology. He often sidelined interesting characters and conflicts for bullshit nobody cared about. He sucked at pacing and story construction. He was also seemingly unable to tell his heroes from his assholes.

My own feelings are mixed but I certainly believe most of the vitriol directed at Penders is misplaced, even if he does act like a tool on Twitter. Everyone hates him for suing Archie and necessitating a reboot of the comic’s world. (Paradoxically, many of these same people claim the rebooted comic is far superior to anything from the prior continuity.) But a little bit of research proves that Archie really did screw over Ken and other writers and artists. His attempts to cash in on his meager comic book fame have been atrocious. Yet who can blame the guy for trying to make money doing something he loves, utilizing what recognition he has?

I try to be fair to ol’ Penders but Hedgehogs Can’t Swim has certainly done its fair share of ribbing at his expense. And I don’t intend on stopping now! Because if anything is fair game, it’s the many dumb and awful names Ken has cooked up for his echidna guardians. So, presented below, is Knuckles’ family tree edited for my own amusement. Embiggen for further enjoyment. I apologize for nothing.