Sonic X: Issue 39

Sonic X: Issue 39
Publication Date: November 2008

With “Sonic X” nearly at its end, you'd think the crew behind the comic would want to go out with a bang. The cover to issue 39, the penultimate  edition of the series, certainly promises something rather literally big. You've got a kaiju-sized Vector wrecking a skyscraper, while Sonic races up the side. Pretty cool, right? Well, once again, prepare to be disappointed. The end is near but things remain much the same.

Part 2 of “Big Trouble in Little Station Square” – still no Lo Pan or John Carpenter soundtrack – picks up where the last one left off. S.O.N.I.C.X.'s evil plan has only succeeded in making Vector into a giant. The villains quickly flee while Sonic and Espio concoct a ridiculous plan to revert Vector back to normal size. Eggman, upon hearing the news that a giant monster is attacking the city, decides to play hero and win himself some heroic cred. His plan involves transforming Bokkun to massive size and having him fight Vector. Will Sonic get there in time?

“Sonic X: The Comic Book” hopes to draw audience's interest by including a fight between a giant monster and a giant robot. It's a good idea, as kaiju battles have an evergreen appeal. This is such a well-known fact that “Sonic X” did it once before. Issue 5 featured Eggman attacking the city with a giant robot while a virtuous Chaos grew to giant size to combat him. I've said for a while that Archie's “Sonic X” was woefully out of ideas. Now that the series is ripping itself off, that point has been proven. The same idea is not as exciting the second time. Chaos uppercutting Egg-gantor's head off was certainly more interesting than Vector and Bokkun wrestling.

However, the second half of “Big Trouble in Little Station Square” does feature one or two gag that made me chuckle. Eggman's overjoyed reaction to hearing a giant monster is attacking the city made me smile. There's a moment when Vector accidentally swallows an airplane, a  moment so bizarre it got a chuckle. The absolute glee with which Bokkun fights Vector is mildly amusing. So is their fight scene, which concludes with Vector giving Bokkun a giant-sized swirlie in the bay. Espio promises that an ancient ninja technique can save that day... Which turns out to be aspirin. When Sonic acts indignantly, Espio corrects him by pointing out that aspirin was invited in ancient Greece. To which Sonic reacts “There were no ninjas in Greece!” It's defanged, kiddie-kiddie humor but with at least something resembling an absurd streak.

Still, “Sonic X” is hampered by the characters being really fucking stupid. Before racing off to prevent Vector from wrecking the city, Sonic and Espio leave Charmy to watch the S.O.N.I.C.X. members. This, of course, is a massive mistake. Hector immediately distracts Charmy, by pointing over his shoulder, allowing the bad guys to escape. The stupidity of S.O.N.I.C.X.'s plan is revealed when Sonic races up to the giant Vector... and reasons with him. I had assume that the magical mutatgen that caused Vector to grow to enormous heights also turned him into a mad beast. Nope! So if the scheme had worked as planned, Sonic wouldn't become a hyper-destructive giant. He just would've been much bigger. What the fuck was that suppose to accomplish? These S.O.N.I.C.X. guys suck at their job.

I've criticized the last two issues of “Sonic X” that Joe Edkin wrote for having a weird moralizing side. I assumed this to be a quirk of Edkins, taking the “kid's book” label that comic had a little too literally. Well, it's not just Joe pulling this shit. Ian Flynn manages to shove an even more distracting, obnoxious “moral lesson” into the book. Sonic and Espio using aspirin to shrink Vector back down to normal size is dumb but could've been a fun absurd gag. Instead, the comic uses this as an excuse to give readers a lesson about responsible use of over-the-counter medication. Okay, sure, kids need to learn not to take pills unless supervised. But is a Sonic book the best place to extend this knowledge?

Last time, I assumed that Ian Flynn would use this two-parter as an excuse to wrap up some of “Sonic X's” lingering plot points. The staff of the comic obviously knew that the series was ending in the next issue, as the letters in the back reference the impending conclusion. Instead, previously mentioned ideas continue to dangle. S.O.N.I.C.X. is still out there, the identity of their evil leader still a mystery. Something that hasn't been brought up since the initial four issues – that Chris Thorndyke's teacher is an undercover government agent – is mentioned again for the first time in the series' entire run. Yet this premises are just throw around, not resolved or concluded. Will Flynn wrap this stuff up next time? That would be a pretty impressive trick, considering Metal Sonic and Shadow are putting in special appearance in the last issue.

The nearly final issue of “Sonic X” did make me chuckle twice or thrice. I suppose that makes it better than the last few issues, which have become increasingly dire. Even then, that's the most minor of improvements. Will “Sonic X” turn things around in the final issue? Considering the overall quality of the series up to this point, I'm gonna say “Outlook's not so good.” [6/10]