Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.12. Birth of a Salesman

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.12. Birth of a Salesman
Original Air Date: September 8th, 1993

These days, the “Sonic” cast – across the games, the comics, and all sorts of other stuff – measures in the hundreds. This was not the case in the early days of the franchise. “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” even predates the introduction of Knuckles or Amy Rose. Aside from a collection of Badniks, the game cast was basically Sonic, Tails, and Robotnik. This is why “SatAM” had to take the little animals Sonic rescues and morph them into the Freedom Fighters. And it's why seemingly every other episode of “AoStH” introduced some random new character. One or two of these guys would become minor fan favorites...

...which brings us to “Birth of a Salesman.” The episode begins with Robotnik bemoaning his lack of competent help, insulting Scratch and Grounder. That's when a door-to-door salesman named Wes Weasely stops by. He proceeds to sell Robotnik a series of contraptions: A vacuum that can suck out light, a freeze ray, an anti-gravity ray, and a de-atomizing beam. Each machine is used against Sonic, before the hedgehog outsmarts the easily-fooled Scratch and Grounder, turning the new gizmos against them.

As far as “AoStH's” contributions to the grander “Sonic” lore goes, Wes Weasely does not seem like an especially memorable contribution. He's the hoariest of gag: The duplicitous door-too-door salesman. (Of course, this comedic trope is totally discredited now, as I don't think many items are sold door-to-door anymore.) The minute he walks on-screen, Wes is super easy to figure out. Obviously, he's going to scam Robotnik over and over again until the episode ends. That's what happens every time a cartoon introduces a traveling salesman like this. Also, he doesn't look a thing like a weasel and that bugs me too. However, I do like how verbosely named the gadgets he sells are or how surreal some of them are. That light-sucking vacuum, especially, which renders the top half of the screen black when activated.

Wes being a scummy salesman isn't the only gag in this episode that's very easily predicted. Even though the episode begins with Robotnik berating his primary henchman, he still trusts Scratch and Grounder with the new equipment every time. Predictably, Sonic outsmarts the robotic simpletons within minutes on each occasion. And not even in especially novel ways. Sonic literally just crouches under the black cloud the light vacuum causes. With the freeze ray, he just moves out of the way, so the robots can freeze each other He doesn't even do anything to fuck up the de-atomizer, as Scratch and Grounder press the wrong button themselves and accidentally clone the hedgehog instead. (Though the clones using popcorn offensively is, if nothing else, unexpected.) The only time Sonic actually uses his brain to defeat the robots is by tricking them with the anti-gravity ray, in a rather tedious moment. Look, I get that Scratch and Grounder are dumb and Sonic is always going to outsmart them. But I feel like the writers really phoned it in on this one.

Watching as a child, I don't remember “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” being especially gross, by the standards of early nineties kids cartoons. Watching as an adult, I'm really picking up on a weird grotesque streak in this show. Over the course of this twenty minutes, Grounder sprouts disturbingly human-like hands. Sonic melts the robot chicken and his drilling friend after kicking up a firestorm, their faces slowly dissolving in a strangely vivid fashion. Robotnik smothers his henchman with his enormous ass, which receives far too much attention from the animators. The episode ends with the bad guys having their body parts switched around. That's an awful lot of body horror for a kid's show, along side the typically unimpressive slapstick of Grounder pressing a button unexpectedly or Sonic madly running around the countryside.

Still, as is quickly becoming the case, the delivery of the voice cast generates an occasional chuckle. Long John Baldry continues to be the MVP of this show. “Birth of a Salesman” begins with Robotnik shouting a long-winded avalanche of alliterative insults at his blundering robots, which is an amusingly stretched-out gag. Among the factors he likes about Weaslly, he casually throws in “And you dress funny.” He demands Sonic is not killed but merely captured, so he can “gloat at him.” Surprisingly, some of the other voice actors gets laughs too. Jaleel White gets to subvert Sonic's “I'm waaaaaiting!” catchphrase in a funny way. Michael Donovan adapts a Charles Neslon Riley-like voice for Wes Weaselly and his brief comment about being a “tyrant-to-tyrant salesman” got a single laugh out of me.

-Writers Steven J. Fisher, Reed Shelley and Bruce Shelley must have been really proud of Wes Weaselly because they incorporate him into the Sonic Sez segment as well. Our moral this time takes the form of a toy commercial, presented by Wes, which impresses Tails enough hat he immediately heads out to buy the product... Before being hti with a number of pricey add-ons. “If it looks too good to be true, it probably is” is the intended moral. Yet this lesson comes off as awfully hypocritical from a cartoon show designed to sell video games. Are all the Sonci Sez moments going to be this hilariously tone-deaf?

If you're reading this, you definitely already know why this episode is of minor importance to “Sonic” nerds. Wes Weaselly is among the “AoStH” characters Ian Flynn would revive for the post-reboot comic universe. Granted, it was for a single panel appearance. I wonder if he would've brought him back if the comic hadn't been canceled? Anyway, the episode itself is probably my least favorite episode of the show so far, which bodes well. Only sixty-two left to go! [5/10]