Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.51: Prehistoric Sonic

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.51: Prehistoric Sonic

Original Air Date: October 29th, 1993

Here we are at the final part of the Quest for the Chaos Emeralds saga. While I'm not sure I saw much of this storyline as a kid, I can definitely recall seeing the grand finale. As I've said in the past, even as a little kid, I was somewhat dismissive of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog." I watched it and liked it but that's because Sonic was in it. I was a pretentious child, so obviously I preferred the serious storytelling of "SatAM." But "Prehistoric Sonic" made an impression on me and, at the time, I remember wishing more "Sonic" media had this kind of scope and ingenuity. (Though I didn't verbalize like that, on account of being five.)

So let's summarize this bitch: Sonic and Tails are back on the beach, where a quartet of literal bikini beach bunnies are using Sonic as a volleyball. (Weird kink, Sonic, but okay.) Dr. Caninestein appears with his latest time machine modification –  its a skateboard now –  and tells Sonic to go back to prehistoric days. That's where the Chaos Emerald of Life is located. Robotnik, having escaped the last trap Sonic stuck him in, arrives at the same time. After the required fight with dinosaurs and appeasing a volcano god, Robotnik successfully retrieves the stone. With the power to bring anything to life, he defeats Sonic long enough to get a head start. Heading back through time, Robotnik gathers the other three Emeralds. In the present, he unites the stones and becomes a god-like entity. While their enemy is seemingly unstoppable, Sonic and Tails devises a clever plan to even the playing field a little. 

In the final part of Quest for the Chaos Emeralds, "AoStH" achieves something I never would've thought possible: It becomes genuinely kind of epic. After uniting the stones, Robotnik becomes a disturbingly buff giant with freakish fingernails, a previously unnoted benefit of combining the Emeralds. He immediately has all of Mobius worshipping him as a god and tosses Sonic and Tails back to the beginning of time. Only Sonic and Tails retrieving past versions of themselves, forming a ten strong super team, is enough to defeat him. If you don't worry about the logic of this or the paradoxes it causes –  the various Sonics touch each other in a huddle, so I guess the "Timecop" rules don't apply here –  that's pretty badass. I never would've guessed a show that's usually dumb and lazy could conjure up a comic book spectacle like of this level. Considering "SatAM" used its own time travel arc just to explore its own backstory, I'm not sure any other "Sonic" cartoon could've pulled off a plot of this scope. 

In fact, several moments throughout "Prehistoric Sonic" feel so serious, I almost can't believe it. Robotnik has to sacrifice something of value to a volcano god in order to earn the Soul Stone Chaos Emerald of Life. (This is not a steal from Marvel, as the comic book Soul Stone has a way more convoluted origin than what they did in the movie. So who ripped off who is the question, I guess.) He viciously tosses in Scratch and Grounder without a moment's thought. After creating some magma men to fight Sonic, Robotnik even says the word "kill!" Later, while grabbing the Emerald of Invincibility, Scratch and Grounder physically threaten Gwendolyn with death. How is this the same show that did a whole episode about hot dog people? 

As serious as "Prehistoric Sonic" gets, the show's trademark goofiness is still present. Writer Jeffrey Scott casually breaks the rules he previously established. Robotnik does not need to be king to use the Invincibility Emerald, as he just snatches it off Arfur and uses it freely. Robotnikhotep does not crumble into dust after Robotnik takes the Immortality Emerald, allowing Sonic to unravel the mummy. Enemies do not collapse against the High Supreme Robotnik when physically attacking him, as they previously did. (Then again, considering Robotnik's not wearing Arfur's crown, maybe the invincibility stone isn't working correctly. But I'm not giving this show that much credit.) And Sonic can just do whatever the fuck he wants. After Robotnik throws him and Tails into the volcano, spin-dashes upward through the air, as if flying. How can he do that? Because "Fuck you, physics!" But I don't know why Sonic and Tails were worried about the lava, as Scratch and Grounder later crawl out of the volcano, unharmed. 

I am, of course, thinking about it way too hard. In fact, "AoStH's" complete disregard of logic and reason works in its favor this time. Upon arriving in prehistoric days, Robotnik and his gang encounter dinosaurs. Because dinosaurs are awesome. Robotnik then uses his Robo-Transmogrifier to turn a T-Rex and a pterodactyl into robots. Because robot dinosaurs are the only thing awesome-er than regular dinosaurs. Sonic later rides upon the Robo-Rex's back, spinning him into a giant, Sonic-style Buzzsaw. Sure, it doesn't make sense but who cares? The Rule of Cool wins here. I love the idea that anything Sonic touches instantly gets Sonic-like properties. Other touches in the episode also amuse. Such as a clan of caveman teddy bears - cave bears, if you will - or the Big Bang being triggered by an enormous stick of dynamite. This show really should have used its elastic cartoon logic for outrageous over-the-top fun like this more often.

You'll notice that the above is a lot to squeeze into twenty-one minutes. And it is. By the time the gang of Sonics and Tailses arrive in the present, there's only a few minutes left to whoop the Supreme High Robotnik's supreme high ass. After the other Sonics promise to return the Chaos Emeralds to their prior owners, and destroy the time machine afterwards, the episode abruptly ends. We need time for the Sonic Sez segment on electrical safety, after all. The fact that Scott could've squeeze all that plot into one episode is pretty impressive actually. But I wish DiC or Bohbot or whoever could've allowed one more episode for this story arc, to really give the climax the proper amount of time it needs. Any story where normal heroes defeat a god-like opponent unavoidably ends up feeling a little anticlimactic. But this showdown definitely would've benefited from a little more breathing room. 

It's also interesting that, out of all the superpowers the show could've assigned the final Chaos Emerald, that they went with the Power of Life. Unassisted time travel or reality warping abilities probably would've made more sense. Yet would those powers be as attractive to Robotnik? Throughout this show, and really in every incarnation, Robotnik is obsessed with creating life. He wants to make robots that are better than flesh-and-bone creatures. This is part of his desire to recreate the world in his tyrannical vision, to make everything loyal to him. (And, in "AoStH," absolutely stems from the lack-of-control he felt during his abusive childhood.) The ability to turn literally anything into a living, breathing weapon or slave is perhaps his ultimate desire. And this is why he hates Sonic, whose naturally chaotic nature makes him unwilling to obey rules, so much. But for one brief moment, Robotnik achieves that goal, of being a god-like entity capable of absolute rule, that can bend anyone or anything to his twisted will.

I'm certain Jeffrey Scott or anybody else working on "AoStH" didn't think it through that much. "Prehistoric Sonic," epic as it is, is still undeniably sloppy. Yet I still admire the show for pulling this off at all. I'm not done watching the show yet but I'm certain this will be "AoStH" high-point. When Ian Flynn was cannibalizing this show for the comic's reboot, I really wish he could've pulled ideas from this story arc. Comics is where a story of this ambition and scope truly could've flourished. As it stands now, "Prehistoric Sonic" is a highly entertaining and shockingly ambitious climax to a highly uneven four-parter. [7/10]