Sonic X, Episode 3.26: So Long Sonic

Sonic X, Episode 3.26: So Long Sonic

Japanese Title: The Place Where Planets Are Born

U.S. Air Date: May 6th, 2006

Japanese Air Date: April 30th, 2020

After many words written about it, and much time spent watching it, here we are at the final episode of "Sonic X." Unlike the season two finale, which clearly left the door open for more adventures, the last episode of season three ends on as definitive a conclusion as I think we could expect. Its popularity overseas might have granted "Sonic X" an additional collection of episodes but another reprieve would not follow. This was the end and everybody knew it. So let's strap in and gotta-go-fast one last time. 

We begin back on Sonic’s home world, which has been restored to its former glory. After a few scenes that establish that normal life has resumed, we flash-back to the previous episode’s events. Dark Oak was destroyed but all the energy from the Planet Eggs being released still threatened the entire universe. Only quick action from Shadow saved all life in existence. Yet Cosmo’s fate was still sealed, leaving Tails traumatized. In the present, Eggman cooks up a way to send Chris Thorndyke back home. And that’s where we close the book on this corner of the “Sonic” franchise…. 

Because the previous episode was so hyper-focused on Cosmo’s sacrifice and Tails’ reaction to that, it ended kind of abruptly. That worked fine for me, as the emotions were more important than the action. But I’m glad this final episode does flashback a little bit, to show us more of the immediate aftermath of Dark Oak’s defeat. It's a nice touch that the danger and tension doesn't immediately evaporate after the baddie is dead. That his universe-endangering actions have wider consequences. Cutting right to Sonic’s world being back to normal – as the first scene of this episode does – made it feel like a chapter was skipped. So I’m glad we see Super Shadow Chaos Control all the Planet Eggs back to their rightful place. 

And speaking of Shadow... The superpowered hedgehogs initially attempt to Chaos Control the Planet Eggs together. Yet the effort seems to be exhausting Sonic. That's when Shadow punches Sonic in the gut, knocking him out, and decides to do it on his own. The so-called Ultimate Lifeform disappears after that, everyone being unsure if he's even still alive. After Cosmo's heroic sacrifice last time, it's a little much for this episode to suggest Shadow does the same thing. Not to mention his ambiguous fate here resembles the end of his "Sonic Adventure 2" storyline. I guess saving the world and then peacing out so dramatically that people think he might be dead is just Shadow's thing. (By the way, he's not dead, as a brief clip later shows the familiarly shaped shadow of Shadow standing over Molly's gravestone.) 

While this episode has the kind of universe-saving dramatics you'd expect from the final episode of a sci-fi/action-adventure anime, "The Place Where Planets Are Born" is mostly pretty low-key. The episode takes its time to revisit some supporting characters, as we see Vanilla visiting the Chaotix and Vector flirting with her. Amy and Cream are shown bonding over food, with Ella being name-dropped. Knuckles and Chris get a nice, friendly conversation about the immorality of land ownership. By now, "Sonic X" has invested enough effort in these characters, and the viewer is rightly attached to them, that it's nice just to spend time with these guys. A last episode having a slower paced, hang-out vibe is honestly appreciated after the epic sci-fi plotting of this season. 

Of course, not everyone is so relaxed. In fact, Vector even cautiously asks Vanilla how everyone is doing since returning. Naturally, Tails is who he's really talking about. In the flashback, we see the little fox weeping uncontrollably. When Sonic grimly hands him the sole remaining part of Cosmo – a small white seed – he hugs his friend and sobs some more. Blowing your girlfriend up to save the universe is a hard ask for anyone, especially a little kid. Yet, in the present scenes, Tails seems to be back to normal. He's shown working in his garage, tinkering away at the X-Tornado. The final shot of the episode, and the entire series, is of a small sprout coming up from Cosmo's seed. Which, perhaps, suggests the two might be reunited someday and puts something of a happy ending on these dour events. But I would've liked to have seen a little more of Tails healing, getting used to and growing with his grief, then cutting right from the initial trauma to him being in the recovery stage. I guess that would've been a bit much for the last episode of the entire show to carry. 

A little more time devoted to how Tails is feeling would've been nice. Or perhaps a peek at Chris' friends and family would've been fitting, considering what a big role they played in the first two seasons. Yet "Sonic X" is still wrapping up the space opera plot that took over the show in its final season. Weirdly, Dark Oak is allowed a little catharsis in his final moments. As he's dying, we see the villain, as Lucas, reaching out to Cosmo's superform. Which heavily resembles her mom. Suggesting, once again, that this entire universe-threatening scheme has been the result of petty squabbling between ex-lovers. While this moment suggests there might been some humanity left in Dark Oak, a later scene has Sonic talking mysteriously with the villain's voice under a tree. The omniscient voice asks if it was really worth it, considering humanity (or "beasts," as Dark Oak puts it) are destined to destroy themselves. Sonic assures him it is, that he'll always keep running. And that's a nice scene and all but I think I would've rather spent a little more time with our heroes than with the thoroughly dead bad guy. 

Though he's taken something of a backseat during this season, I still maintain that Chris Thorndyke is as much the main character of "Sonic X" as the blue hedgehog. This holds true for the final episode, which is heavily focused on bringing Chris' character arc full circle. When Eggman announces that he's built a capsule/teleporter thingy to take the boy home, but he only has a few minutes to use it (because of cosmic alignment chicanery), Chris doesn't hesitate. He chooses to go home, to spend his life with his friends and family, rather than cling to Sonic forever. That's quite a difference from Chris in season two, who was so attached to Sonic, he was willing to strand him on Earth. He still cries as he blasts off, sharing one last meaningful look with Sonic and promising he'll return some day. But he's grown up a lot, turning from a whiny and damaged child into a pretty well-adjusted young adult. I'm glad the show took some time in its last episode to revisit the topic of Chris' mental well being.

Aside from Chris going back to Earth – which forms some nice symmetry with the first episode, where Sonic goes to Earth – this episode doesn't wrap things up on a definitive note. In fact, "Sonic X" goes for an "And the adventure continues" ending. The minute Chris is off the planet, the status quo seems to restore itself. Eggman immediately goes about causing trouble again. Sonic launches into action against his archenemy. Tails decides to help out Sonic. Knuckles is angry. Amy vows to protect and chase Sonic. Rouge is morally ambiguous and fighting for neither side exactly. There's even dramatic freeze frames on everyone's face, with their names at the bottom of the screen. Everybody immediately reverts back to their basic, archetypal roles. This could be seen as disappointing, as all of these characters showed a little more depth than this over the three seasons. The "Sonic" cast can be one-dimensional mascots but, luckily, people are eager to grow them beyond that point. Yet it works in this context, of ending the series on a safe and secure note. It lets the viewer know that, even though "Sonic X" is finished, all these lovable cast members are still out there, doing the things they've always done.

And what's something "Sonic X" has always done? Screwing around with a bunch of wacky bullshit! Yes, the final episode of "Sonic X" is rift with goofy comic relief. The appearance of the Chaotix means there's several fourth wall breaking gags, with Vector and Charmy actively chastising Espio for breaking character at one point. Decoe and Bocoe get several lines of goofy dialogue to themselves. Bokkun is happy to be back to delivering exploding TV monitors again. 

The most inexplicable – and therefore my favorite – moment occurs when Eggman... Randomly tells Rouge she has big boobs??! Much like Sonic shouting "Shit!" in the second episode, this is one of those "Sonic X" moments so unbelievable crass, I can hardly accept it actually happens. What makes this even funnier is that it's totally unprompted and contributes nothing else to the episode! I really wonder if the horny freaks who made this cartoon wanted to slip in one more blatant homage to Rouge's tits at some point and decided to just let 'er rip in the last episode. Obviously, this moment was cut from the dub but 4Kids can never take the sweet memory of it away from me.

I'm not quite done talking about "Sonic X" just yet. I have a few odds-and-ends to discuss before posting my final thoughts on the entire program. I'll save the closing discussion on the program as a whole until a later date. Taking "So Long, Sonic" on its own, it's a fairly satisfying, funny, and sometimes even sweet finale. Not a lot of shows aimed at this age bracket would decide to close on a slower paced, character-orientated episode. I appreciate "Sonic X" for going in that direction and enjoyed spending time with this episode, as I have the entire series. Oh, and this finale does answer the most important lingering question of all: What's in Bokkun's locket that Rouge was using to blackmail him? It's a picture of Cream, implying the robot has a crush on the little rabbit. Let that perplexing, confusing question be this program's final legacy. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 3.25: A Fearless Friend

Sonic X, Episode 3.25: A Fearless Friend

Japanese Title: What Can I Do For You?

U.S. Air Date: April 29th, 2006

Japanese Air Date: April 29th, 2020

As "Sonic X" reaches its penultimate episode, our heroes are in their most desperate moment. Dark Oak has formed a Giant Space Walnut of Doom and is using it to drain the lifeforce from every non-plant-based living being in the universe. The Chaos Emeralds have been rendered useless but a last minute plan by Eggman and Cosmo recharged them. Yet even Super Sonic and Super Shadow aren't enough to stop Dark Oak's plan. Instead, Cosmo realizes she is their best chance to save the universe... But it requires her making the ultimate sacrifice. 

This episode starts out with stakes seemingly as high as they can be. Dark Oak's plan is in its final stage. The Forestation has begun and the heroes are quickly running out of chances to stop it. The writers really pile it on when everyone's vital energies begin to drain and the Chaos Emeralds are reduced to dull rocks. Yet even this is not dramatic for the next-to-last episode of "Sonic X." When it looks like Dark Oak's scheme may be derailed, he develops the attitude of "If I can't turn the universe into a giant forest, I'll just destroy it instead!" I don't entirely understand how this works – something to do with concentrating and expanding the life energies of every living thing in existence – but it makes the worst situation ever even more worst somehow. 

Of course, the Chaos Emeralds still help save the universe and in an extremely bullshitty way. After Eggman says, if he sacrifices all his ship's energy, he might be able to recharge the Emeralds, Cosmo grabs them and starts climbing up towards the Crimson Egg. That's when one of Dark Oak's tentacle strikes her and the Emeralds are seemingly dropped into the void of space. That's when – somehow! – all the hopeful emotions from everyone in the universe gives the Emerald. See, Spirit Bomb shit like this is why I think the Chaos Emerald reacting to emotion is such a lame choice. It turns a set of story-breaking plot devices into an even more contrary and random way for writers to get themselves out of corners they're responsible for. 

The only good thing about this scene is the glimpses it gives us at how other planets are responding to the Forestation. Which gives us another look at those bat people from the water planet and the ugly baby things from the fortunetelling planet. (Though weirdly not Earth, which seems like a pretty big omission. I want to see how the Forestation effects Topaz and Scarlet Garcia!) And that could have been just as easily accomplished with a cool montage of people turning into trees all across the galaxy or something. In fact, this episode really needed a scene like that, to make the threat a little less existential and a little more visceral. Dark Oak doesn't even talk much in this episode, making it feel like our heroes is fighting a natural disaster more than a super villain at times. 

I said a while ago that I fully expected Super Sonic and Super Shadow to appear during the final battle. And indeed they do. However, the super forms don't accomplish nearly as much as you'd expect. The glowy hedgehogs are kept at bay by a force field Dark Oak generates around the Walnut of Doom. Instead, an entirely different super form saves the day. Cosmo shatters the red jewel on her chest, seemingly activating Mover Mode. But it doesn't turn her into a weird dinosaur. Instead, she grows into a mature woman in minutes, gets all shiny, and gives our heroes the self-sacrificial means of stopping Dark Oak. This means we are treated to shots of Cosmo's hips and butt filling out and her bosom expanding. Which seems a smidge unnecessary and was unsurprisingly cut from the dub. Also, why do plant people have breasts? Do the babies suckle chlorophyll from their mother's nipples? This scene is causing me to ask questions I don't want answers to! 

The point is this: Super Cosmo permanently fuses with Dark Oak or something, giving the good guys a path straight to the bad guy's heart. Super Sonic and Super Shadow jump into the Sonic Driver, are fired at Dark Oak, and destroy him at the cost of Cosmo's life. The episode tries to sell this as Cosmo finding her purpose. She knows her sacrifice is saving the universe and that makes it all worth it for her. But, really, is this a satisfying conclusion to her character arc? Is letting someone characterized by her lack of confidence deciding to die, and this being a good thing, a nice message to send?

All along, Cosmo has grappled with the hate she feels towards the Metarex and her survivor's guilt. This has mostly manifested as a lack of self-worth. Tails loving her gave her some confidence but then she found out she had been an unwilling spy for the bad guys the entire time, endangering the people she's come to care for the most. "Sonic X" probably should've found a way for Cosmo to let go of her fear and hate, by seeing that Dark Oak's actions were driven by a similar feeling of loss and resentment. To forgive herself for being a tool against her friends, as it wasn't her fault. I guess Cosmo saving the universe is a way for her to realize her life has purpose but the episode doesn't really frame it that way. Instead, she grows tits, asks her boyfriend to shoot her, and is instantly at peace with all this. I feel like we missed a step. 

Moreover, the entire scenario makes me wonder about something. The very first scene shows Cosmo as a baby, next to her sister and her tree-mom. Tree-Mom then says Cosmo is her final child and the means to save the universe. Was... Cosmo created as a trump card to stop Dark Oak? Did Cosmo's mom design her to be a weapon to defeat her biggest rival? It seems to be heavily implied! Okay, yes, this does save every lifeform in the universe, so I guess it was worth it. But considering Cosmo's mom dropping nukes on Dark Oak is what got everyone into this mess in the first place... It makes Earthia seem like a not very good person/plant, who endangered the entire universe with her unreasonable actions and designed her own child to die as a means to finish the war she started. If this was an intentional touch of ambiguity that would be one thing but everyone seems to treat this one as a win. What the fuck is with the "Sonic" franchise and uncritically praising terrible parents? 

Anyway... None of that is really the important part of this episode. As contrived as the circumstances might be, the fact of the matter is Tails has to shoot his girlfriend in the face to save the universe. Their love was doomed from the beginning and their story was always destined to end in tears. The writers obviously wanted a tragic end to the Tails/Cosmo love story and didn't care how convoluted the path to get to that point had to be. I don't know why the show was so determined to traumatize the eight year old but here we are. She gives him a final declaration of love, assures him it'll all be alright, and Tails pulls the trigger. The universe is saved and Tails has a lifetime of therapy bills to look forward to. 

But at least the program is committed to the seriousness of all this. When Cosmo makes it known that she has to die to save everyone, there's lots of tears but Tails is stunned into silence. As he realizes what he most do, he weeps and gnashes his teeth and grapples with the horribleness of this. The fox and the houseplant have a final heart-to-heart, via one of those dreamy fantasy visions anime loves so much. I'm just impressed by the balls of this show, to depict Tails' pain in such a blunt way. You really didn't expect a scene of a little kid crying in agony after destroying the love of his life from a cartoon aimed by the elementary school set. (Naturally, 4Kids cut this scene way down, because they are afraid of emotion.)

The focus is so much on what Tails is feeling in this moment that the action scenes take a back seat. Sonic and Shadow getting super-launched at Dark Oak almost feels like an afterthought. We don't even get a victorious moment of the bad guy exploding and our heroes cheering. "The Golden Road" plays as Tails and Cosmo share their goodbye, there's a flash of light, and the episode immediately cuts to black. It even skips the end credits, at least in the version I watched. Even if I'm not sure if the contrived path taken to get to this point is earned, at least the writers and directors were determined to make the end of Cosmo and Tails' relationship as dramatic and meaningful as possible. 

"Sonic X" still has one more episode to go. Presumably, the final installment will discuss the fallout of these events that this episode doesn't really have time to explore. Yet season three's story essentially seems over here. I've got some mixed thoughts about it all but I'll save those for later. For now, I'll just say that "What Can I Do For You?" is an episode with the convictions to back up its emotions, even if it's still kind of a mess from a writing perspective. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 3.24: The Light in the Darkness

Sonic X, Episode 3.24: The Light in the Darkness

Japanese Title: Decisive Battle! Dark Oak

U.S. Air Date: April 22nd, 2006

Japanese Air Date: April 28th, 2020

With Sonic swallowed up by Dark Oak, and the Blue Typhoon seriously damaged, things seem grim for our heroes. Luckily, Eggman and his Crimson Egg swoops in to help the good guys out. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so Knuckles is talked into shooting all of the Master Emerald's power out of the Sonic Driver at the Final Mova. This move succeeds in merely stunning Dark Oak, though it does give Amy time to rescue Sonic. The universe is still in peril and the forestation continues. 

In an earlier review, I wondered why the Metarex empire – and most of the other baddies – pay so little attention to the Master Emerald. It's obviously a source of massive power, if it can keep a huge ship or island flying indefinitely and Knuckles has devoted his entire life to protecting it. This episode just proves how serious the Master Emerald is. It produces a blast powerful enough to wound a planet-sized monster in the process of turning every living thing in the universe into a tree. Then again, maybe nobody went after the huge plot device the heroes have strapped to their ship because it's also really fragile. Firing that bolt of energy shatters the Master Emerald. And that also happened in both "Sonic Adventure" games, so I guess it doesn't take a lot to crack the damn thing. Either way, I'm surprised nobody commented on this earlier.

The destruction of the Master Emerald doesn't just mean Knuckles is out of a job. While setting up the MacGuffin busting blast, Eggman explains the nonsense science behind Chris teleporting to Sonic's world. Something about synching with the Master Emerald's energy signature. The loss of some data in the transportation process is why he's back in his grade school body. By shattering the Emerald, Chris is potentially destroying his way back home and trapping himself in his prepubescent body. The evergreen Sonic fanboy isn't too broken up about this. But it is nice that Thorndyke has some sort of emotional role to play as the series heads towards its last episode. 

One of the most interesting moments in this episode occurs while Sonic is trapped inside the Final Mova. There, the hedgehog experienced what can only be called a vision. Apparently, all the memories of pain and hate across the universe are collecting inside Dark Oak. This allows the villain to monologue about his motivations some more. He blames "beasts" – presumably non-plant-y sentient life forms – for spreading violence and destruction throughout the galaxy. Replacing them all with trees will create a conflict free existence, he thinks. The episode makes sure to clarify that this belief is rooted in the mysterious war that made Lucas into Dark Oak. It took the show a while but it's finally provided some psychological depth to this season's big bad.

Sonic's consciousness goes on this vision quest too. Which allows the show to clarify its hero's stance some more too. He makes it clear that he has no intention of giving up fighting, that he's going to keep moving forward even when things look hopeless or bleak. This is visualized by Sonic running through a forest and avoiding weird sand monsters. Which is a nice to illustrate the hedgehog ever-optimistic world view. For a long time, I've felt Sonic being a runner tied-in with his philosophy and it's good to see an official "Sonic" cartoon agree with that. 

Since "Sonic X" is quickly approaching its end, I guess the showrunners felt the need to throw the SonAmy shippers one last bone. After his trippy trip, Amy dives into the watery planet Aquarius where their home world's planet egg saves both of them. (Though if all Mobians can casually survive the vacuum of space, I don't know why Sonic hates water so much. Maybe he just never wants to wash off his manly runner's musk.) The hedgehogs exchange some meaningful glances and words, which was surely enough to inspire a hundred fanfiction writers. 

I think I liked this episode a fair bit, even though it actually barely moves the plot forward. The Forestation is no closer to being stopped. The heroes' desperate attack only manages to temporarily stun their most dangerous foe. Shadow, Cosmo, and the Chaotix each get a few scenes but don't contribute much. This is essentially a place holder episode before the final final battle with Dark Oak, the series taking some time in getting Sonic back before he presumably goes Super Saiyan and saves the universe. 

But that's okay. There's enough interesting or character based moments here for me to be entertained. It remains to be seen whether or not "Sonic X" will botch the landing. But we'll find out soon enough. Just for that bitchin' vision quest sequence, I'm giving this one a positive grade. (And apparently the dub cut that sequence in half, while adding some gobbledygook about Cosmo's mom, because 4Kids is bad and lame.) [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 3.22: Eye Spy

Sonic X, Episode 3.22: Eye Spy

Japanese Title: The Lost Planet

U.S. Air Date: April 8th, 2006

Japanese Air Date: April 24th, 2020

This episode picks up right where the previous one left off. After learning she's been a spy for the Metarex the entire time, Cosmo freaks out. The jewel on her chest glows and the entire Blue Typhoon is teleported to a distant planet. The dead world, populated only by a vast forest, is soon discovered to be the former home world of Cosmo's race. Amy and Rouge come across a computer that explains the origins of the Metarex and the conflict that lead to the destruction of this world. Meanwhile, everyone else debates about what to do with Cosmo, whose eyes and ears have been broadcasting directly to Dark Oak this whole time.

I've been wondering for a while what the exact origins and motivations of the Metarex were, so here comes this episode to provide that. Kind of. Here we learn that Cosmo's home world was embroiled in a war with some technological advance enemy. The little tree people can transform into enormous, dinosaur like monsters – which is known as "mover mode" – but at the risk of depleting their life energies. A Metarex scientist named Lucas discovered how to extract Planet Eggs from worlds as a way to keep his race alive while in Mover Mode. And he immediately plan to start taking Planet Eggs from other worlds, to further his scheme. Cosmo's mother, Earthia, opposed this plan. She wanted to stuff the entire species onto a spaceship and simply flee, while wearing jewels that repress the Mover Mode superpower. Once in orbit, she dropped nuclear bombs on the entire planet to stop Lucas' scheme, killing all life on the world. Which seems like a slight overreaction to me! 

Yes, I did not find this to be an especially satisfying explanation. All this origin does is raise more questions. Who were the other people at war with the Metarex? Why were they attacking them? It really seems like a plot point is missing between Lucas extracting a Planet Egg from his own to world to him jumping to plans of universal conquest. The introduction of Mover Mode really needlessly complicates things. If Lucas – who, if you haven't figured out by now, is Dark Oak – suggested blending his race's fleshy, plant-like body with robotics to survive, that would've made sense. I don't know how you get from "giant plant dinosaurs" to "an army of cyborg aliens." Did the Metarex, like an indecisive seven-year-old boy, decide robots were cooler than dinosaurs? I'm guessing someone just wanted to include some wacky kaiju and shoved them in here. The importance of Mover Mode feels like something that should've been mentioned before now. 

Earthia destroying her entire planet to stop the Metarex might've been an attempt to add some moral grayness to this story. Cosmo's mom would rather sacrifice her own planet than allow Lucas to destroy countless other worlds, which is sort of noble. Lucas removing the Planet Egg had already ostensibly doomed the Metarex home world anyway. The planet was going to die, so why not nuke it to stop the enemies? Yet Sonic and the gang have repeatedly returned Planet Eggs and restored worlds to health, so maybe Earthia should've tried that before nuking everything from orbit. Moreover, if the Metarex had nuclear weapons, why was Mover Mode so important? It seems atom bombs would be a much stronger deterrent than a dozen skyscraper sized tree-dinosaurs to me. This plot point mostly just makes Earthia seem unwilling to negotiate and unreasonable. Also, did her nuclear devastation also kill all the unnamed people that were bombing the Metarex? There were probably some innocent families in there. 

Really, it seems to me a much simpler story could've been written here. Why not have the Metarex home world be threatened by some other threat, like an asteroid, not a war with unnamed outsiders? Have the conflict be between Earthia simply wanting to abandon the world and Lucas' insane plot to harvest Planet Eggs. Have Earthia's space colony leave before the asteroid hits, instead of her raining nuclear hellfire down on the planet. That makes Cosmo's mom more sympathetic and also make Lucas/Dark Oak's plan seem understandable, if insane. He lost his world and is determined to recreate it across the galaxy, at the price of every other planet's population. 

Of course, I'm not sure Dark Oak's scheme is to recreate his home world. From what we've seen of Metarex civilization, it had cities and advanced technology. All along, they've talked about wanting to bring tranquility and peace to the universe. It seems the plan has always been to destroy worlds' natural population by stealing the Planet Eggs and then build huge forests on the ruins, powered by the artificial Chaos Emeralds. And it seems the Metarex home world – which is probably still radioactive, I want to point out – was the first planet to receive this forestation treatment. But there's no Metarex on the planet, just trees. Is the Metarex's end game to turn all sentiment life into trees, like they did with the human rebels? Does that include themselves? Does Dark Oak hate all non-tree life and wants the universe to just be an endless forest? Like I said, more questions, few answers.

I might be overthinking it. I've been accused of that before. And I'm not done either. We learn here that Cosmo's eyes and ears have a direct link to Dark Oak. Everything she sees and hears, he sees and hears. Dark Oak using Earthia's daughter as a means to further his own goal would be some decent dramatic irony. (Or speak to Lucas being obsessed with Earthia, as it's hinted the two had some sort of relationship.) Yet, if this has been the case, how come Sonic and the others have won so many battles? If Dark Oak was privy to the heroes' plans all along, shouldn't he have been stopping them every step of the way? How many worlds have the Metarex lost because of Sonic and the others' intervention? I guess the point I'm making is that Cosmo wasn't a very good spy. Or that Dark Oak was making piss-poor use of the intel she unknowingly gave him. 

It might not make a lot of sense from a narrative perspective but it does make a nice addition to Cosmo’s litany of angst. All along, Cosmo has been beating herself up for the hatred and fear she feels towards the Metarex. She has blamed herself for the death of her species all this time. (Considering her mom also talked about hatred and, ya know, nuked their home world, maybe these are qualities Cosmo inherited.) After being accepted by Tails and the rest of the gang, Cosmo now learns she’s been a threat to them all along. This girl/plant can’t catch a break! Obviously, she immediately blames herself for being the villain’s pawn and plans to run away. 

This episode devoted considerable time to everyone else’s reaction to this information. In fact, “The Lost World” is a largely character-driven episode. Rouge banters with both Amy and Knuckles, to amusing effect. Sonic and Chris both have separate heart-to-hearts with Shadow and almost seem to convince him to help out. When Cosmo plans to leave, Tails appears to assure her it’s okay. That’s followed by everyone else immediately standing up for her too. They all plan to stop running and take the fight to Dark Oak. It’s nice to see an episode devoted to everyone’s thoughts and feelings towards their friend. Even if it results in yet another episode of “Sonic X” where Sonic seems like a minor player. 

But I don’t really care about that. This episode ends with a pair of decent cliffhangers. Bokkun finds the Blue Typhoon and begs for their help, as the Metarex have anticipated Eggman’s eventual betrayal and captured him. Meanwhile, Dark Oak completed his collection of Chaos Emeralds at some point. It seems the season is definitely ramping up to its climatic conclusion. I find the backstory in this episode pretty confounding and disappointing but it’s an otherwise decent installment. The characters remain compelling this season, if nothing else. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 3.20: Zelkova Strikes Back

Sonic X, Episode 3.20: Zelkova Strikes Back

Japanese Title: The True Form of the Metarex!?

U.S. Air Date: March 18th, 2006

Japanese Air Date: April 22nd, 2020

"Sonic X" is closing in on its big finale, so it's no surprise this episode is full of dramatic reveals. The Metarex have been tirelessly pursuing Sonic and the others, leading our heroes in an exhausted state. They are confronted by Yellow Zelkova, who quickly corners the heroes on a barren, volcanic moon. Zelkova has been outfitted with a new force field by Eggman, making him even more unstoppable. While the Blue Typhoon crew struggle against this enemy, Shadow and Rouge uncover some of the secrets of the Metarex empire. 

The last time Sonic and the gang rumbled with Yellow Zelkova, the results were, from an action perspective, pretty underwhelming. That continues to be true for this rematch. For most of this episode, Knuckles is struggling against Yellow Zelkova by himself. This mostly results in scenes of the echidna throwing punches at the robot, just for them to prove ineffective. I've got nothing against heroes struggling to defeat an enemy. That's good writing! But when the villain constantly establishes that he's got an impenetrable shield around him, and the good guys just keep trying the same attack on him, the results get tedious fast. I can only watch Knuckles get beaten into the ground so many times before I'm bored. And it doesn't help that the animation here is fairly routine. 

Maybe my big problem with this episode is that I find Yellow Zelkova more annoying than intimidating. The big dumb strong guy is a classic villain archetype. His boastful decrees certainly fit that character type. Yet I find Zelkova too farcical a threat when the story around him is so grim. I like "Sonic X's" surreal sense of humor but having the bad guy ask nonsensical riddles before whooping ass drains the tension a little, in a bad way. Mostly, Zelkova is such a blockhead, it's hard to take him seriously. In this episode, he's defeated when Sonic and Chris encircle him with a wire and let a lightning bolt strike him. And this guy just stands there and lets the heroes surround him with this stuff. A more creditable adversary would try and, ya know, stop his imminent defeat. 

Of course, the action scenes in this episode really are beside the point. The true purpose behind "Zelkova Strikes Back" is revealed by its Japanese title: "The True Form of the Metarex!?" This episode reveals that Shadow and Rouge have been investigating the Metarex on their own. They soon discover a small planet, filled with trees and nothing else. A single, artificial Chaos Emerald provides the light and energy to grow this forest. This proceeds another reveal: Yellow Zelkova's mechanic armor falls away and shows that he's not a robot. He's part of the same species of plant aliens as Cosmo. Cosmo's world was genocided by members of her own race! 

This is a pretty dramatic twist... And it might have been more surprising if the Metarex bosses weren't all named after trees. Even if I hadn't had this plot point spoiled for me by the internet, I think I probably could've figured this one out. Weirdly, this episode does not feature Cosmo reacting to this information. Instead, it's final moments are devoted to a big naked Yellow Zelkova – who looks more than a little muppety – stumbling backwards into an active volcano. Knuckles tries to save him, because I guess our heroes operate on an "all life is sacred" rule or something. Zelkova refuses his help and willingly sinks into the lava, while grinning knowingly. I would much rather see Cosmo's reaction to this shocking information than a last minute, half-assed attempt to give the season's goofiest threat some depth with a honorable samurai demise or some shit. 

Honestly, I probably would've liked this episode a lot more if it focused on Shadow and Rouge uncovering the Metarex secrets. Rouge is creeped out by the lifeless forest world, which is a nice character beat for someone usually so unshakable. Shadow's stoic badass persona works as a nice contrast to discovering these horrible secrets. This is especially true when the show throws some unexpected body horror into its final minutes. At the base of the trees, Shadow and Rouge find the human traitors from "A Revolutionary Tale." They are slowly being consumed by the trees, the roots growing under their skin and into their flesh. That's pretty fucking gruesome for a children's show! Weirdly, 4Kids cut a bunch of random stuff from this episode but kept in this moment of "Evil Dead"-like tree horror. 

This might not be the only moment of bodily mutilation in this episode too, though that depends on how you interpret this next scene. As Knuckles' fight with Yellow Zelkova gets more intense, the echidna's knuckles spikes break off. It has always been debated by "Sonic" fans whether Knuckles' hand spikes were part of his body or just something attached to his gloves. In the Archie Comics, Knuckles' knuckles are definitely a physical mutation, sprouting from his bare flesh. I suppose I just assumed that was the case for every version of the character. But considering there's no blood spurting from Knuckles' hands in this scene, I'm guessing that's not the case for the "Sonic X" version. (Which is kind of underwhelming and makes the echidna seem less "special.") Seeing his little hand spikes shatter is still a surprising sight. It feels like that moment probably should've gotten more attention. 

Presumably Cosmo's feelings about the Metarex's true nature, along with the reasoning behind the villain's genocidal conquest, will be covered in future episode. (And, maybe if we are lucky, we'll find out whether every Metarex is actually a plant person or just the top commanders. So we'll know whether or not Sonic and the gang have been blowing up sentient beings every time they use the Sonic Hammer.) As for this episode, it needed more scenes of Shadow and Rouge sleuthing and people being violated by tree roots and fewer scenes of Knuckles and a mustard-colored robot repetitively wailing on each other. [5/10]

Sonic X, Episode 3.17: The Planet of Misfortune

Sonic X, Episode 3.17: The Planet of Misfortune

Japanese Title: Please Marmolin!

U.S. Air Date: February 25th, 2006

Japanese Air Date: April 17th. 2020

The previous episode of "Sonic X" had Shadow and Eggman becoming heroes to a planet ravaged by the Metarex menace. This episode sticks Sonic and the gang into a similar situation.. Though with wildly different tonal results. "The Planet of Misfortune" begins with the Blue Typhoon continuing through the strange Metarex universe. That's when they pick up a Chaos Emerald signal heading right towards them. What at first is assumed to be a meteor is revealed to be an alien spacecraft. The ship is piloted by strange creatures called Marmolims, who have left their world (which is in disarray, following the theft of its Planet Egg) in search of a savior. They coincidentally found a Chaos Emerald on their journey and agree to give it to the Sonic Team... If they return with them to their world and help save it. On the quirky planet of Marmolim, shenanigans ensue. 

In the past, I've expressed a mild disgust for the simpering, cloying cuteness of the Chao. Those weird little baby blobs are designed to be as cute – and as marketable – as possible. To the point that the appeal goes all away around to the other side of things and repulses me. The Marmolims have a similar design to the Chao. Both are brightly colored, cherubic creatures with beady Cabbage Patch Doll eyes and chubby baby cheeks. They also have plant-like stalks or feathery bits sprouting out of the top of their heads, making them look somewhat like flowers or green onions or something. Considering there's talk later in the episode about plant-like aliens, versus animal-like aliens, I think that was probably a conscious design choice. 

I, of course, find these life forms immediately hideous and distressing. While the Chao are meant to be appealing, I think "Sonic X" actually agrees with me that the Marmolims are abominations. Their orange faced leader – named Lue, because of course these things all have cutesy baby noise names – speaks with a scratchy, ear-splitting voice. When he reveals to Sonic that they have a Chaos Emerald, Lue childishly refuses to let him have it. The Marmolims then blabber about their own rituals before Knuckles chases them around the room. Cosmo and Cream remark that these guys are, and I quote, "weird" while Knuckles berating them is obviously played for comedic effect. The show mellows out on depicting the Marmolims as creepy oddballs after that but I think they are still very much intended to be more uncanny than adowable. 

I've talked before about the Planet of Hats trope and how I figured this season would indulge in it. This is absolutely the case with the Marmolims. Their hat is fortunetelling. People travel from all over the galaxy to have their fortunes read by these freaky vegetable babies. Different methods of divination, like crystal balls, Tarot cards, and Kau chim sticks, are depicted. Their entire economy seems based around the selling of good luck charms and predicting people's futures. This set-up makes for some decent humor. Ever-scientific Tails dismisses it all as "probability." Sonic is skeptical, until he's told that he may encounter water, at which point he slips on a charm said to ward off H20. A supposed psychic tells Knuckles that the echidna is afraid people think of him as gullible... Before successfully goading him into buying a “magic towel.” Lol.

The one Blue Typhoon crew member who eagerly embraces these superstitious practices is, of course, Amy. She immediately sees these scriers as a means to determine her and Sonic are soul mates. She drags him to visit some prophetic rocks, something Sonic flees from quickly. (And I'm honestly surprised he didn't do it sooner.) These antics represent season three continuing to define Amy mostly through her obsessive affection for Sonic. Indeed, a scene where Amy ping-pongs between pinning romantically for Sonic and scheming rather villainously to obtain him borders the creepy. But it's all in good fun, especially the finale where Amy's romantic trap ends up capturing someone else. 

That's because Amy's John Hinckleyian fixation on Sonic is not the only romance in the air. The episode begins on Earth, with Chris' friends worrying about him. Helen wistfully says Chris' name. Later, he's teased about having a girlfriend and seems to imply he does. So I'm gonna say those two have gotten together, presumably bonding over their mutual love of blue hedgehogs. Naturally Tails and Cosmo's growing affection is the main focus of the episode. The little grass girl still doesn't believe in herself. She still feels guilt and anxiety over her reaction to her planet being destroyed. Tails assures her that he's here for her. Awww! She doesn't believe in herself but Tails believes in her enough for two people! That's adorable! The episode ends with these two in each other's arms, following much blushing and gazing into each others' eyes. It's a shame they are doomed. 

Comedy and romance are the main concerns of this episode but, since this is "Sonic X," an action sequence of some sort has to be inserted. Tails and Chris determine that some sort of mass inside planet Marmolim is causing the ecological mishaps. They refer to it as "like a cancer." The episode takes that very literally, as a tumor-like growth is shown under the planet's crust. I'm not really sure how this squares with what we already know about Planet Eggs but never mind that. Sonic is heroically launched inside the planet with the Sonic Driver, exploding the “tumor” via a shitty CGI sequence. And that's pretty much it for the spectacle this time around. It's underwhelming, as far as set pieces go and only occupies a few minutes near the end. 

Considering how grim and serious the previous episode was, I don't blame "Sonic X" for wanting to take things easy this time around. It's a predominantly light-hearted episode, which manages to be fairly entertaining in a goofy, funny way. The only real downside here is some pretty subpar animation. The characters frequently look rather bobblehead-ish and there's a number of stiffly animated scenes, devoted to everyone just standing still and talking. Even with that caveat, I'm going to declare this one a fun time. Sometimes, I'm okay with watching goofy characters in ridiculous situations while two cute kids fall in wuv. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 3.16. A Revolutionary Tale

Sonic X, Episode 3.16. A Revolutionary Tale

Japanese Title: On a Destroyed Planet

U.S. Air Date: February 18th, 2006

Japanese Air Date: April 16th, 2020

I talked before about how many of the season one episodes of "Sonic X" actually didn't feature Sonic that much. This has been less common as the series turned more towards adapting the games and season three's space opera plot... But here's an exception. "A Revolutionary Tale" has Eggman, while searching for more Chaos Emeralds, come upon a cosmic battle between the Metarex and a human-like race. After the Crimson Egg is attacked during the fray, Shadow is ordered to leap into action. He saves the humans, drawing the attention of rebel leader Molly. She explains that her planet, already missing its life-giving planet egg, is fighting a losing battle against the Metarex. Eggman is only really interested in the Chaos Emerald the locals possess but Shadow and Rouge are soon entangled in the conflict. 

It's always an interesting idea to flip a show's traditional conflict a little bit. Usually, in series like this, we get to see the bad guys be good only during brief truces against greater foes or mirror universe shenanigans. Here, Team Eggman almost literally wander into some other conflict. Molly and her friends have no idea that Eggman is a villain, that Shadow and Rouge are more like antiheroes. By inserting the show's typical group of antagonists into a very different type of setting, it allows the show's antagonist to become the hero of another story. That's an interesting idea – that circumstances more than anything else dictate who the heroes and villains really are – and continues season three's more sympathetic rendition of Eggman. 

 

And when I say this is a very different type of setting, I mean it. At times, "A Revolutionary Tale" really feels like a crossover with some unrelated anime. Molly and her team are introduced in Hoth snowspeeder like ships, fighting an intergalactic war against the Metarex. It's a conflict that's been going on for some time, a grim story full of loss, defeat, and violence. Not really what you expect from a show about a blue hedgehog that runs fast. The episode seems to acknowledge that it's dropped some "Sonic" supporting characters into a totally different genre, when it has Bocoe and Decoe show up in a mech that heavily resembles a Zaku mobile suit from the original "Gundam." I don't think this episode was a back door pilot for another series but that's kind of what it feels like at times. 

Molly and the rest of her race, by the way, just look like regular cutesy anime people. In fact, I mistook Molly for Chris' friend Frances at first. The name of her planet isn't even mentioned in the episode itself – the eyecatch card reveals that it's named "Cascade" – and their names are all very anglo. It all feels like it could be a future Earth or something... At least until Molly reveals that Cascade once led a fearsome galactic empire that waged multiple wars and conquered many other planets. She doesn't seem to have any guilt about this and, in fact, seems to want to reinstate the Cascadian empire to its former glory. So maybe it is America after all. 

I don't know if the implication that Cascade wasn't such a nice planet is an intentional bit of ambiguity or just weird writing. Either way, this episode does paint the grim darkness of war as a complicated, morally compromising affair. Molly's best friend seems to be this guy in a futuristic latex onesie named Leon. As she heads off with Shadow and Rouge to retrieve a Chaos Emerald, he asks her to open a specific cabinet at the office. When she does so, a bomb goes off. Leon, it turns out, has sold his species out to the Metarex. Surprisingly, the show does not depict Leon as just a heartless traitor. Instead, he's tired of the war, thinks Cascade is a lost cause, and just wants to survive with what he has left. (Unsurprisingly, the Metarex immediately double-cross him.) Once again, I'd expect this kind of thing in "Gundam" or "Robotech" but not "Sonic X."

I've spent most of this review talking about the space war shit. But that's really not the most interesting thing about the episode. Instead, Shadow's relationship with Molly is where the depth comes from. The minute he flies through space, destroys the Metarex ships, and saves her life, Molly mistakes Shadow for the Black Wind. That's a legendary hero from Cascadian lore. Shadow, of course, is gruff and stand-of-ish... But Molly quickly makes an impact on him, when she talks about how she wants to keep fighting. How she wants her dream – of galactic imperiousness, I guess – to live on. Shadow clearly has a soft spot for doe-eyed, moé humans. More than once, Molly's similarities to Maria or Chris are subtly brought up. It's a dynamic, the moody bad-ass forging a connection with some tragic cutey-pie, that works nicely. 

In fact, Molly has something else in common with Maria. Spoiler alert for a fifteen-year-old cartoon that, if you're reading this, you've probably already seen: Molly fucking dies. After becoming aware of Leon's treachery, she makes a suicide run at the invading Metarex. Molly makes meaningful eye contact with Shadow as he flies by before her ship is blown up. Her death prompts Shadow into a roaring rampage of revenge that destroys the entire fleet. I thought, at first, surely, this children's cartoon will puss out. But the final scene has Shadow and Rouge sadly standing around Molly's grave. This makes the connection Shadow forges with the girl, however brief it was, rather meaningful. 

It also has to make "A Revolutionary Tale" the grimmest episode of "Sonic X." The Metarex has been driven off but Cascade is still screwed. Their world is dying and what resources they have left are dwindling from losing a war. Pale Bayleaf, the taciturn Metarex boss who led this invasion, isn't even dead at the end. So there's nothing much stopping the empire from turning around and completely fucking nuking Cascade from orbit now. It seems Shadow promising to carry Molly's memory with him, in his own quiet way, is the sole light at the end of this tunnel.

Unsurprisingly, 4Kids wimped the fuck out and changed the ending. Instead of being exploded by Pale Bayleaf, the American cut depicts Molly simply flying away at the end of the battle. The gravestone was digitally removed from the final scene, with the dubbed over dialogue being totally changed. The entire emotional heart of the story is wrenched out in the name of protecting kids from dramatic storylines or whatever. I am not surprised but somehow still disappointed 4Kids would take such a intense moment and crowbar it apart in the most awkward fashion possible. Man, fuck those rice ball hating asshats.

Gotta say, I admire "Sonic X" for going this hard. "A Revolutionary Tale" is still kind of a weird episode, because it's so very different from the rest of the series. Imagine if this was the first episode of "Sonic X" you ever saw and then you went back and watched season one! Aside from an opening scene of a bathing (but still seemingly clothed) Rouge taunting Bokkun, as well Docoe and Becoe wishing their boss was as cute as Molly, there's not much levity either. As unlike the rest of the show as this is, in form and content, I still have to give it some major props. I'm really feeling like I've got to give this one a [8/10]. I know, I'm surprised too! 

Sonic X, Episode 3.12: A Metarex Melee

Sonic X, Episode 3.12: A Metarex Melee

Japanese Title: Clash! Sonic vs. Shadow

U.S. Air Date: November 26th, 2005

Japanese Air Date: April 10th, 2020

As someone who watched a lot of Toonami as a kid, I definitely went through a "Dragonball Z" phase. I was a huge fan of the show as a kid but, as an adult, I find the tropes it relies on tiresome and the constant filler annoying. But it was through that show that I first started to dig into the differences between U.S. dubs of anime and the original, uncut versions. In particular, I was always amused by the differences in the titles. The English titles would be simple and descriptive, like "The Arrival of Raditz" or "The Return of Goku." The Japanese titles, meanwhile, were hilariously wordy, often composed of multiple phrases. Like "Ferocity of the Saiyans! Kami-sama and Piccolo Both Die" and "Mini-Goku is an Overprotected Boy! I Am Gohan." 

This doesn't have much to do with "Sonic X" but the dub/sub difference in this episode is giving me mild flashback to those days. If only because "Clash! Sonic vs. Shadow" has multiple sentences in it. And because the two titles suggest completely different stories, focusing on unrelated aspects of the episode. It's not as bad as a DBZ title, which would be something like "The Great Battle to Protect the Chaos Emeralds! Super Sonic Fights Super Shadow!" But I don't know, it's one of those cultural differences that just make me laugh.

Anyway! It turns out an epic showdown between Sonic and Dark Oak is not in the cards yet, as the villain is just a hologram. Instead, his plan is to keep the heroes on the Metal Plant battle station as it's destroyed by a fleet of Metarex battleships. Sonic attempts to fight off drones specifically designed to fight him while the others scramble for escape. Shadow Chaos Controls himself, Rouge, and Chris onto Eggman's ship. The kid then nabs a jet and flies off to rescue his friends. A series of convoluted events ensue, resulting in Sonic and Shadow both going super as the Metal Plant collapses into a black hole! 

The initial set-up of this episode is exciting. The previous installment ended with a cliffhanger, Black Oak promising that the good guys have fallen into a trap. As a swarm of Metarex goons — each with an extensive analysis of Sonic's fighting history downloaded into their heads — attack, the lead baddie promises that the heroes will die. That seems way more serious than any shit Eggman has pulled recently! We then discover that this isn't even the real trap. The Metarex empire plan to destroy their own space station just to ensure the destruction of their enemies. The good guys have fallen into a brutal double trap that seems like it'll almost be impossible to escape from. That's a hell of a place to start your story and it should've led to a suspenseful episode. 

But it doesn't and there's some clear reasons why. The episode constantly undermines its own tension by cutting away to different events. As the Metarex army closes in and starts to bombard the Metal Plant, the script focuses on Shadow and Chris talking. Or the Thorndyke heir doing shit on Eggman's ship, the incoming barrage seemingly pausing so this interaction can happen. The episode continues like that, randomly shifting its focus to other events and completely disrupting any suspense that might be building. The entire episode should've focused on Sonic and the others trying to escape the fortress before it's too late.

In general, I think there's too much going on in this episode. Sonic is fighting Black Oak's goons. The Metal Plant is being destroyed, by an army led by the newly introduced general Red Pine. Cosmo and Amy are trying to grab the Chaos Emeralds. Knuckles is hanging atop the X-Tornado deep within the Metal Plant, where Eggman left him after his escape. Shadow teleports Chris to the Crimson Egg, Chris steals a plane, and flies back to the Metal Plant. And that's before a series of even more dramatic events in the episode's last third. It's just too much! The script is constantly jumping around in location, following a displaced group of characters. It made my head spin after a while.

If the script had spaced things out a little more, focusing on some of that stuff and tightening the chain of events up, this probably would've been a tense half-hour. Instead, an already complicated string of happenings builds up to the fight between Super Sonic and Super Shadow. Yes, the showdown promised in the Japanese title does occur in the back-half of this episode. And it's even more impressive, because both hedgehogs are in their super forms. Yet, because so much shit is happening here, what should've been an epic dual occupies a few minutes. Super Shadow chases Sonic around, throwing some magic arrows at him. They argue and banter and fly around. And then more important happens and the fight just disappears into the list of events in this episode. I don't know why it got top billing. 

Honestly, Super Sonic and Super Shadow should've put their differences aside for a minute and used their God-like powers to teleport everyone to safety. This is what Shadow ends up doing to the Crimson Egg eventually. The need to escape becomes especially pressing after the Metal Plant starts to be swallowed by a black hole. Where does the black hole come from? Why does one spring up inside the ship? I don't know! As inexplicable as this climax is, it's still the most exciting part of "A Metarex Melee." Probably because it's the only time the episode slows down long enough to focus on what event. It helps that a black hole is so powerful that it even challenge Super Sonic and Super Shadow. (Not that the gravitational pull of the singularity is consistently depicted. The Blue Typhoon escapes easily and then it's revealed that Black Oak's ship was just hanging out nearby the whole time, seemingly unaffected.)

Out of all these contrived scenes, only one really sticks out to me. As Shadow Chaos Controls away from the Metal Plant, Chris leaps into his arm. Aboard the Crimson Egg now, he proceeds to make Eggman aware of his character development. Chris even throws down a ninja style smoke bomb to escape, running off an commandeering a smaller, jet-like shuttle. While I've complained about the show making Chris a little overpowered at times, this is an entertaining scene. Eggman still thinks Chris is a child, so it makes sense that he'd catch the villain off-guard in this moment. It's also funny that Bocoe calls him a "delinquent" afterwards. If this episode didn't have such bad ADHD, we could've gotten a "Die Hard" situation with Chris trying to escape the Crimson Egg. That would've been cool, right? 

Also, Rouge tries to straight-up murder Chris a few scenes later. She picks him up, flies him over a pit in the space fortress, and asks if he's going to give her the Chaos Emeralds. When he says no, she drops him. He's immediately rescued by Knuckles, who coincidentally is hanging out on the X-Tornado right below. But Rouge doesn't know that! In fact, does she even know that Chris is technically eighteen now? Did Rouge just try and murder what she assumed to be a child? Alright, I know I said I like Rouge's amoral aspect but she's officially being written out-of-character now. Rouge's lust for shiny rocks may be all-consuming but I think using that as a reason to try and murder a little boy is a bit extreme. How do you go from "honorable government agent" to "attempted prolicide?" I guess the break-up with Topaz hit her really hard.... 

Anyway, this is a jumbled mess out of an episode. I didn’t even talk about the ambiguous fate of the Chaos Emeralds, the weird shit the Metarex are doing with the Planet Eggs, or the much hyped first appearance — and subsequent abrupt dismissal — of Red Pine. There's enough plot points here that you easily could've made two or three episodes out of this one. To bring things back around to "Dragon Ball Z," I guess that would've threaten to extend a deadline inexcusably far. But I would've prefer that to an overstuffed, rushed half-hour like this. [6/10]