Sonic X, Episode 1.24: How to Catch a Hedgehog

Sonic X, Episode 1.24: How to Catch a Hedgehog

Japanese Title: Sonic Goes Wild! Strategic Capture Operation

Japanese Air Date: September 14th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: March 13th, 2004

I commented in my last “Sonic X” review that it sure seemed like season one was approaching its conclusion, that the show was ramping up towards the season finale. This seemed like a reasonable statement, since the previous episode was all about the MacGuffin and season one is almost over. I’ve got to stop saying shit like this, as “Sonic X” is clearly not as serialized a show as I was led to believe. In fact, arc-focused episodes tend to be follow by totally stand alone ones. Episode 24 could’ve been dropped into the season at any point and made just as much sense: Which is to say “not a lot,” as this is a very peculiar half-hour indeed.

We begin with Sonic in his natural environment: Fighting Eggman in a giant robot ostrich on a ranch. During the battle, a small microchip is lodged in Sonic’s ear. This immediately begins to effect the hedgehog’s behavior in odd ways, as he constantly picks at his ear. Soon, the chip causes Sonic to uncontrollably run. Tails, Chris, Chuck, and Amy devises increasingly ridiculous plans to stop the perpetually running Sonic, before he harms himself or someone else. Knuckles and Sam Speed soon get involved but it does little to stop the ever-moving hedgehog.

“How to Catch a Hedgehog” begins with such an utterly inexplicable sequence, that I honestly wondered if I had skipped an episode by accident. If I had dropped into the second half of a two-parter by mistake. No, this episode just starts that way. Why are Sonic and Amy on a ranch somewhere in the middle of nowhere? Why was Eggman attacking them with a robot chicken that looks like something out of G1 “Transformers?” Does this have anything to do with the Chaos Emeralds? None of these questions are answered and the episode just keeps rolling after this oddball opening, expecting us to go with it. It sure is a beginning that catches you off-guard.

Truthfully, that confusing opening quickly establishes the episode’s confounding tone. I know the “Sonic X” writers weren’t out of ideas, as the season one story arc isn’t resolved yet and there’s two whole seasons of television left. But “Sonic gets a thing stuck in his ear that makes him run continuously” really seems like an idea a writer would cook up when he had a deadline in three hours. Why does the microchip in Sonic’s ear make him run? Why does the hedgehog never attempt to just stop running? How come none of his friends connect his strange behavior with his ear itching earlier in the episode? Why is the giant robot chicken running around the seemingly uninhabited ranch at the episode’s end, chased by a cow? Why does its leg fall off, after shooting a blast of electricity out of its belly? Why is Tails swallowed up by a giant tumbleweed at one point? Why does Knuckles carry a fish from a lake out to the desert where the others are hanging out? Whhhhhhyyyyyyyy???

The only thing consistent about this episode is how consistently odd it is. When presented with this strange problem, Chuck Thorndyke cooks up a series of strange solution. He designs a pallet that can be shot at Sonic’s back and, once activated, will deploy a balloon that will lift the hedgehog into the air. When that doesn’t work, he tries trapping Sonic in a massive hamster wheel. That scheme is almost successful but Sonic’s constant speed eventually shakes the contraption apart. And sends him tunneling into the Earth until he hits well water, after confounding moment the episode just skated past. Chuck’s dumbest plan, by far, is roping in Sam Speed to appeal to Sonic’s “competitive spirit.” This is designed to send him through a door that will lead to a giant sticky pad, trapping the hedgehog. This plan goes awry because Sam Speed is an idiot but why didn’t Chuck just place the sticky trap in front of Sonic? Why not just dig a hole in the ground and have him fall into that? Why not just drop a cage on him or something? There’s about a hundred solutions you could’ve arrived at before “recruit a race car driver to trick him.”

You’d think that Eggman would want to take advantage of Sonic being in such a compromised state. That he’d send a robot to attack his friends while Sonic is in unable to help. Or that he’d place increasingly dangerous obstacle in the hedgehog’s path. Instead, Eggman sits back and watches everything from a distance. All the villain really does in this episode is eat, grabbing noodles with chopsticks and munching on a rice cake, which leads to some pretty insensitive asides from Bocoe and Decoe about his weight. (This scene was cut from the English dub but probably not because it’s fat-phobic and just because 4Kids hates Japanese cuisine for some reason.) You know, for being a robotics and engineering genius, Eggman is kind of a dumb-ass. At one point, while Sonic is inside the hamster wheel and being fed chili dogs by his friends, the hedgehog is completely defenseless! And Eggman is watching the whole time! That probably would’ve been a good time to deploy one of your hundreds of murderous robots, doc! Again, I have to wonder why he’s considered a serious foe by Sonic and his friends at all.

Despite being so damn weird and dumb, I suspect this episode is well regarded by a certain portion of the “Sonic” fan community. Yes, I’m talking to you SonAmy shippers again. When Sonic rescues Amy from the thunder-chicken in the first scene, she blushes while he holds her. His ear-scratching seems to annoy Amy because Sonic is ignoring her in these moments. She personally hands him his lunch later. The biggest tease comes at the end, after the crisis is averted, when Amy leans in and blows some straw out of Sonic’s ear. That’s a pretty sensual moment for a kid’s cartoon. While there’s absolutely zero evidence that Sonic is into any of this, Amy’s fixation on the hedgehog still takes up a pretty big chunk of this episode. (There’s also a weird moment in the beginning where the thunder-chicken picks up Amy by her skirt, causing it to rip that feels like the kind of thing 4Kids would clip out of the U.S. version but was actually left in.)

While I can't rank it along side truly brain-melting experiences like “Boogey-Mania” or “Moby Deep,” this episode definitely represents “Sonic X” at its most nonsensical and bizarre. This is another time the show repeatedly caught me off-guard with how silly, strange, and off-beat it was willing to get. I guess “throw some weird shit against the wall and see if people like it” is a commanding ethos across the entire “Sonic” franchise. I found this one’s weirdness a little more irritating than amusing but at least it’s not boring. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.23: Emerald Anniversary

Sonic X, Episode 1.23: Emerald Anniversary

Japanese Title: Mayhem! 6 Chaos Emeralds

Japanese Air Date: September 7th, 2003

U.S. Release Date: March 6th, 2004

The plot of episode 23 of "Sonic X" begins with a very important event: Chris Thorndyke's dad deciding to buy his wife a gift for their wedding anniversary. He stops into the fanciest jewelry store in Station Square and buys their biggest and most expensive gemstone... Which just happens to be the purple Chaos Emerald. He meets Chris, Chuck, Sonic, and the rest of the team at Filmdom City, a studio where Lindsey is wrapping up her latest movie. Things start to go awry when the purple Emerald reacts violently to the other near-by Emeralds. This attracts the attention of Eggman, who crashes into the studio with his latest killer robot.

After screwing around for several episodes, "Sonic X" remembers that it has an on-going story arc. "Emerald Anniversary" manages to bring most of the pertinent plot points of the first season together. It's reaffirmed that Sonic and the gang has four emeralds — I'm glad they mentioned this as I had lost track — and Knuckles has one. With the introduction of the purple emerald, that means there's only one left to collect. Rouge and Topaz are brought back into the story, through an only slightly contrived series of events. (Rouge is lustfully starring at the jewelry shop when Nelson Thorndyke happens by.) Mr. Stewart also continues to force himself into these events, so I guess he'll be important eventually too. 

The exact properties of the Chaos Emeralds varies between the different iterations of the "Sonic" franchise. About the only thing that's consistent about them is they are a mysterious source of great power. In the Archie "Sonic" comics, if two Chaos Emeralds are brought together suddenly, it resulted in a massive, violent discharge of energy. While I doubt the writers and animators behind "Sonic X" we're aware of this, they've come to a similar conclusion. The purple emerald reacts to the blue emerald Sonic is just carrying around for some reason by blasting chaotic light and electric bolts everywhere. This is mostly an excuse to bring all the various parties together, as a big spike of energy shooting into the sky is hard to ignore. (Tails justifies it with a brief line about how "Chaos Emeralds need time to get use to each other" or something.) But I appreciate the almost certainly unintentional link to another branch of the franchise. 

Mostly, this episode is another great example of how rich people fucking blow. How a mundane jewelry store got ahold of a Chaos Emerald, when the government and our team of superheroes and villains are after them, I don't know. Either way, Nelson Thorndyke struts in — via a stretch limo and flanked by bodyguards, for fucks' sake — and demands a ring be made of it without a second thought. He's a first-hand witness to the violent effects of two emeralds being near-by but he goes ahead with his trivial anniversary surprise anyway. His absurd wealth and complete disregard for real world concerns, in favor of his shallow rich person bullshit, ends up endangering the world as Eggman makes it away with the emerald in the end. 

The episode seems at least mildly aware of what a horrible dumbass Chris' dad is, as Lindsey ends up hating his big anniversary surprise. She's filming yet another period piece costume drama when Nelson takes the place of her costar, stumbles to the ground, and drops the emerald. The two have a big argument about how he ruined the take. And that's before a mad scientist and his giant robot attacks. Jeez, it's almost as if barging into a situation unannounced, assuming what you are doing is delightful without informing anyone, is an asshole move, Nelson! Fucking rich people, man... 

Eggman attacking a film set and making it away in the end may sound like serious business but most of this episode is devoted to broad, comedic wackiness. He's sends a fire-breathing dragon-bot named E-74 Weazo — presumably so named because he looks just like Buddy Holly — after Sonic, while Bocoe and Decoe peruse Tails and Amy. What follows is a goofy foot chase across multiple film sets. There are goofy shout-outs to "Jurassic Park," "Star Wars," "Titanic" and "Godzilla." There's even a moment of stretchy slapstick when Tails' arms extend like an old rubber hose cartoon character. Truly, this show has more in common with "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" than I ever expected. 

The few action scenes that are serious concern Sonic fighting off Weazo. Sonic may be super-fast but he's rightfully intimidated by fire. What makes this action sequence especially entertaining is that Knuckles comes to Sonic's aide. He ends up shattering a random aquarium, dousing Weazo's flamethrower, and giving Sonic the chance to deliver one of those one-hit-K.O. headshots he's fond of. Considering so many episodes of this cartoon have concluded with Sonic tearing the Robot-of-the-Week apart without breaking a sweat, it's fun to see the hedgehog challenged, to see him need some help from a friend to survive. 

Season one of "Sonic X" definitely seems to be — finally! — ramping up towards a big conclusion with this episode. Eggman grabbing a Chaos Emerald is an exciting cliffhanger to end on. With only one left to locate, the story is advancing again. There's also a brief tease about the U.S. government reverse-engineering Eggman's technology, into some sort of Hercules beetle-shaped tank. Considering how easily Sonic destroys Eggman's machines, I don't know if that's money well-spent. But you know how the government is. Presumably, this plot point will pay off eventually.

Two more things I want to bring up before leaving you today: Usually 4Kids' dub titles are pretty dumb, thinking of the easiest pun and leaving it at that, but "Emerald Anniversary" made me crack a smile. Good job on that one, localization team. (It is, if nothing else, more elegant than "Mayhem! 6 Chaos Emeralds.") Speaking of localization! A moment definitely removed from the dub is Mr. Tanaka, after being totally defeated by Eggman's robot, ripping open his shirt and preparing to commit harikari. Dude, I think you might be taking this samurai a little too far. Anyway, the Thorndyke shenanigans are a little irritating but the last half of this episode is pretty entertaining, so I'll give it a soft recommendation. I can't give a negative score to an episode that has a "Godzilla" reference and features more barely concealed sexual chemistry between Rouge and Topaz. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.22: Little Chao Lost

Sonic X, Episode 1.22: Little Chao Lost

Japanese Title: Summer Vacation, a Chao Observation Diary

Japanese Air Date: August 31st, 2003

U.S. Air Date: February 28th, 2004

Episode 22 continues the globe-hopping theme of the second half of "Sonic X's" first season. Chris and friends — including the Sonic team — have taken a vacation to Japan. Specifically, the Japanese countryside where Mr. Tanaka grew up. While the kids explore the woods, Sonic goes sight-seeing around the island. It's all fun and games until Cheese gets swept away while swimming in a stream. They rush off to find the little Chao and end up discovering a whole horde of them. Meanwhile, Eggman is also on the island. When he spies the good guys looking for something, he assumes they are after a Chaos Emerald.

I've been mentioning lately that, despite the season nearing its end, "Sonic X" has mostly been screwing around the last few episodes. This trend continues with "Little Chao Lost." This is a hang-out episode with low stakes, mostly devoted to our heroes just enjoying themselves. Yes, Cheese's disappearance provides motivation for the story. Yet this is resolved — with the reveal that Cheese has actually been fine the entire time — with still a lot of time left to go. Meanwhile, there's scenes of Tails and Chris catching bugs or Amy staying in the kitchen and chopping vegetables. I don't mind a laidback episode but the show has basically been doing a lot of these lately.

"Chao Observation Diary" does see "Sonic X," once again, touching briefly on the ecological themes that characterized the early days of the franchise. After discovering the Chao garden, it's pointed out that Chao need clean water to survive. At this point, Tails opines that places like this are getting increasingly rare both here on Earth and on Sonic's home world. The climax of the episode, I guess, has the heroes cleaning mud out of Chao garden's lake. The water got dirtied thanks to Eggman stomping around in a giant robot, showing how a lot of people don't consider how their actions affect the natural world. (Though it is weird that a natural phenomenon like mud threatens the water, instead of oil or machine grease or something.)

While I always like to see later iterations of the "Sonic" series harken back to this older trend, we've got to be honest: The environmental aspect of this story is almost incidental. The true point of this episode is to introduce Chao gardens. No explanation is provided for why there is a Chao garden in the Japanese countryside, when the blue baby-blobs were previously assumed to be exclusive to Sonic's world. Nor is it questioned why no humans have discovered this previously. (It's suggested Mr. Tanaka discovered the garden as a boy. If a literal child could stumble upon this location, why couldn't a zoologist or something?) It doesn't matter if this plot point makes no sense. The Chao are a highly marketable component of the "Sonic" franchise and will be represented in this cartoon show, goddamn it.

This is another episode where Sonic isn't involved in most of the plot, weaving in and out until it's time for him to save the day at the end. What is interesting is what Sonic gets up to in his run around the island. "Sonic X" is a Japanese cartoon, mostly set in America. Which means it provides an interesting observation of what Japan thinks America is like. You'd expect this episode to flip the script and gives us a peek at an insider's view of Japan. Instead, it mostly reduces Japan to some tourist friendly highlights. Mount Fuji is prominently featured early on. Sonic mingles with some women in kimonos and white, Geisha-like face paint. Later, he enjoys a lantern festival and some deep-fried snacks, climbs a pagoda, and gets ogled by some schoolgirls in short skirts. Maybe the Japanese corporation that made "Sonic X" wanted to present the most attractive version of their country in this cartoon, which they knew would be exported all over the globe. Or, since Sonic is beloved by everyone he meets in this episode, it was Sega practicing some wish-fulfillment that their mascot would be as popular in their home country as he is abroad.

Like I said, this is not an action-packed episode. Honestly, the action really seems like an afterthought. Eggman eventually calls in the Robot-of-the-Week, the bell-shaped E-66 Da-Dai-Oh. All it does is fly over the woods and stomp around on the soft Japanese soil. It doesn't get a single chance to swing the big spiked balls in its arms before Sonic tears through its head and blows it up. He didn't even need a Power Ring this time! (Also, you'd think an enormous robot exploding would be more harmful to the local environment than some displaced mud.) All Eggman really does in this episode is provide some jokes, disliking the hot weather and the long hikes, much to Decoe and Bocoe's annoyance.

At least this episode isn't totally disconnected from the on-going arc. The Chaos Emeralds are frequently mentioned, even if one never physically appears on-screen. Mr. Stewart tags along in this journey with Chris' friends, causing me to think this was a school trip... But, nope, he just invited himself. He's still reporting back to the government, though I'm not sure why since Sonic's existence is public knowledge now. Danny and Francis also join Chris on this trip. I guess random international vacations is what you get when you're friends with a billionaire's child.

It's a pleasant episode but lacks the manic comedic heights or the satisfying action and storytelling of the show's best installments. Presumably, those Chao gardens will become important whenever "Sonic X" gets around to adapting "Sonic Adventure," so I suppose this episode is significant to the program's overall lore. Otherwise, it's a pretty disposable half-hour with very little about it that is memorable. [5/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.21: Fast Friends

Sonic X, Episode 1.21: Fast Friends

Japanese Title: Speed Match! Sonic vs. Sam

Japanese Air Date: August 24th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: February 21st, 2004

Even though there's only five episodes left in season one, "Sonic X" isn't so worried about the overarching Chaos Emerald plot. Yep, it's another goofy episode. Everyone at the Thorndyke mansion is awoken in the middle of the night when Sam Speed pulls into the driveway in his experimental rocket car. He's been loaned the jet engine as part of a ridiculous ploy by White House Press Secretary Jerome Wise to promote the President. Sam expects Sonic to race him across the country, to a point in a desert somewhere and back. The winner gets his photo taken with the President. Sonic, being an anti-authoritarian rebel, is not interested in participating. That's when Wise gets Eggman to convince him otherwise. Soon, Sonic and Sam at the starting line and the race begins.

Every single "Sonic" cartoon, it seems, has had an episode themed around a race. "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" had at least two and I fully expect "Sonic Boom" and "Sonic Prime" to follow this lead. Here's "Sonic X's" obligatory entry into the Sonic Racing subgenre. Race premises are naturally exciting and make sense, when your lead character is defined by his ability to go fast. It makes even more sense here, as Sonic's rivalry with Sam Speed — another character defined by going fast — has been set-up since the first episode. Even if it could've been placed at a better point in the story, this does seem like an episode the series would've had to get to eventually for that reason.

While I've found myself mostly won over by "Sonic X's" original characters, even whiny little Chris Thorndyke to a degree, Sam Speed is a much harder sell. The character has mostly functioned as a plot device, swooping in inexplicably when the non-super-fast -hedgehog members of the cast need to get some place immediately. When not doing that, he's mostly being an annoying comic relief character, defined by his misbegotten inflated ego. This episode gives me even more reasons to genuinely dislike Sam Speed: He's a dirty fucking cheater! The rocker car is bad at making turns, so he picked a race path that includes a row of buildings he can just drive through. Later, he tricks Sonic into climbing into the car and throwing him off with a built-in spring. What a bastard!

Making Sam Speed such an underhanded asshole actually works in this episode's favor. After all, Sonic can be pretty egotistical and snarky too. Setting him against someone with these attributes who is also a dirty cheater makes Sonic seem like the underdog. Which makes his inevitable victory — because of course Sonic is going to win a speed-based challenge — all the more satisfying. That Sonic makes it look like a too-close-to-call finish, before the instant replay reveals that he easily won and was just fuckin' around, is even better. It's like he was trying to teach Sam Speed a lesson and the racer does seem to be humbled afterwards. Sonic is a total Chad.

While the race is the main attraction of the episode, it's honestly not the most interesting part. Presidential aide Jerome Wise continues to be an amusingly fucked-up character. When the President calls to say he won't be able to attend a race, on account of having actual global duties to see to, Wise realizes he'll shake the winner's hand... And then imagines an elaborate fantasy where he's elected president. Wise is so committed to this race that he, uh, commits treason to make sure it happens. He calls up Eggman, officially declared a terrorist and enemy of the state by this point, to talk him into forcing Sonic into the race. Amusingly, this is not just a wacky joke — I mean, it is but — as Wise gets fired in the final scene for this act. Dude is lucky he's not immediately scooped up by the NSA and thrown in Guantánamo. Also, he has a romantic fixation on some lady named Vivian, a joke which is amusingly not explained further.

While attempting to convince Eggman, Jerome bribes him with "cream puffs" and make big, googly, starry eyes at him. Yes, this is another episode full of weirdo comedic beats. Eggman's scheme to get Sonic into the race... Involves sending Bokkun to deliver a manic robot with giant lips that is obsessed with kissing?! Later, a sumo wrestler-themed robot is sent to stop Sonic's progress. The sumo-bot shouts a bunch of dumb catchphrases before being tossed into the air and landing on the Egg Fort II. Ya know, for a show that is outwardly not as bizarre as "AoStH" or "Sonic Underground," I'm continuously impressed by its ability to make me silently mutter "what the fuck."

Oh, and one more thing: Nobody in the Thorndyke mansion is told this race is happening, which is why they are so surprised when Sam pulls up in a rocket car at five in the minute. This is despite Chris' parents apparently being sponsors of the race. Which leads me to assume that Chris' own parents did not tell him about this huge public event they are directly involved in. He's even surprised when he sees them on TV! Chris might be a whiny bitch but the clear fact that his parents, at best, frequently forget he exists and, at worst, actively dislike him is making me feel sorry for the poor little rich boy. No wonder Chris is so fixated on Sonic, another ultra-powerful role model who is often indifferent, if not annoyed, by his presence. At least Sonic gives him positive reaffirmations occasionally, as opposed to his completely non-present parents.

It's another silly episode that still manages to use the characters' established personalities in fun ways and amusingly explores how Sonic affects life here on Earth. "Sonic X" is not the show I expected it to be: It's actually something wackier and weirder. And I applaud that! I'm sure humor like this is utterly insufferable in the dub but the subtitled version is just droll enough to make it work. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.20: Cruise Blues

Sonic X, Episode 1.20: Cruise Blues

Japanese Title: Departure! Egg Fort II

Japanese Air Date: August 17th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: February 14th, 2004

You can really tell a lot about how “Sonic X” was sold in Japan versus how it was sold in America by the regional titles. The Japanese titles seem to emphasize action and excitement overall. The Japanese title for episode twenty has a big action-y buzz word with an exclamation point, that gives Eggman’s new warship top billing. The English title, meanwhile, is a dumb quasi-pun. Japan takes its hedgehog business seriously while the U.S.A. thought this was dumb-ass kiddie shit. Shockingly, the silly American title is actually a far better representation of what this episode is actually about. 

Even though the last episode had nothing to do with this plot point, Chris' dad has decided his son and his alien friends have spent too much time chasing after the Chaos Emeralds. He forces the team to take a vacation, renting a private cruise ship just for Chris and his friends. (Which is among the most ridiculous rich person vacation I've ever heard but never mind that.) This backfires horribly, as being in a closed-in area surrounded by water drives Sonic nuts. He's soon plotting how to end the vacation prematurely, which Mr. Tanaka goes to bizarre lengths to ensure doesn't happen. Meanwhile, Eggman has built new battle ships for himself and his robotic minions, which he plans to deploy... Eventually. 

I've mentioned before how "Sonic X" — or at least the original Japanese version I've been watching — has an absurd sense of humor that frequently floats to the surface. This goofball comedic impulse takes center stage in "Cruise Blues." This is an episode completely devoted to wackiness. When it seems Sonic is about to get off the boat, Mr. Tanaka instead sends a helicopter full of elderly people down there. This is an attempt to teach everyone to relax and slow down, Tanaka practically threatening everyone if they don't have a good time. Cue lots of jokes about old people falling asleep suddenly or droning on about the same topics for hours. (As someone who used to work in a retirement community, I can attest that these jokes are 100% accurate.)

In fact, the "Sonic X" version of Eggman is starting to compete with his "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" equivalent for the title of Most Ridiculous Robotnik. The villain spends nearly this entire episode debating with his own robotic henchman about what to name their new combining aircrafts. He gives his own ship a grandiose name and Bocoe and Decoe's basic descriptions, which is rejected by the robots. They then proceed to bicker for a half-hour over what to call their warships, before letting random chance pick silly names. "AoStH" Robotnik would just hit Scratch and Grounder over the head and call the ships whatever he wanted. No wonder this Eggman gets trounced by Sonic so easily and so often.

The episode's goofy streak extends to acknowledging the show itself is a fictional product. Yes, the fourth wall is breached multiple times in this half-hour. Bocoe and Decoe have a few lines that suggest they mistakenly believe themselves to be the main characters of this cartoon. During the final battle, the exciting battle ship combination sequence occurs too far away to be seen, causing Eggman to take an annoyed phone call from a network executive. Probably the funniest example of this meta streak is when Amy attempts to shame Sonic into shaping up, as the fate of this television program and it's attached merchandise depends on him acting heroic. Ya know, for a show that looks like a serious action cartoon, I have to admire its willingness to engage in silliness like this.

Definitely the funniest bits in "Cruise Blues" is Sonic's boredom-induced breakdown. Watching the usually unflappable hedgehog reduced to a totally manic state is pretty funny. After Amy gives him that attempted pep talk, he walks off, collapses, and curls up in the fetal position. This is not the hedgehog's only desperate behavior, as he has apparently makes a daily habit of seeing how far away from the ship he can jump every day. (Which, out-of-context, just looks like a suicide attempt.) Ultimately, Sonic engages in some not-so-heroic behavior, attempting to manipulate his friends — including an insincere seduction of Amy — to convince them to leave the cruise ship. Considering the "Sonic X" version of the hedgehog is even more of an unstoppable badass than usual, it's pretty funny to see him in such a neurotic state. 

"Departure! Egg Fort II" never really attempts to get serious. Even the action scenes are farcical. Sonic can't run on an iceberg and the day is saved when Ella swoops in on the X-Tornado and karate kicks the Egg Fort II into the middle distance. Yes, the matronly housekeeper defeats the bad guy this time. This follows an extremely weird subplot where Bokkun comes to the empty Thorndyke mansion, has a fit of loneliness-induced depression, and Ella is there to comfort him. This show is fucking dumb but I kind of like it. 

I have no idea if the English dub of this episode is as amusing or if 4Kids replaced the genuine absurdity with louder, more obnoxious humor. I also don't know what the wider "Sonic X" fandom thinks of a totally time-wasting, extremely goofy episode like this. (I've seen some rumblings on Twitter about how "cute" Sonic is when he has a breakdown, so this might actually be a fan favorite.) All I know is I genuinely enjoyed this slice of dumb weirdness? I wouldn't complain too much if the show continued in this vein for a while. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.19: Sonic’s Scream Test

Sonic X, Episode 1.19: Sonic’s Scream Test

Japanese Title: Ghost of the Old Castle - King Boom Boo

Japanese Air Date: August 10th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: February 7th, 2004

When I started this project, I know I said I had only watched the first one or two episodes of the "Sonic X" dub. I'm sorry, dear readers, I lied to you. Some years back, I compiled a list of spooky moments from across the "Sonic" franchise. I knew there was an episode of "Sonic X" that had ghosts in it and had a reputation for being kind of creepy. Because I do a whole-ass job on this here blog, I watched the whole episode before writing that listicle... The dubbed version, anyway. So this episode represents one of the few episodes of "Sonic X" I've seen in both the non-tampered-with original version and the screechy 4Kids English edition.

Sonic, Chris, Tails and Amy take a break from looking for Chaos Emeralds, I guess, to visit Chris' mom on her latest film set. She's currently shooting some sort of costume drama in an actual spooky old castle. A cameraman, without thinking, moves a stone hourglass from a prominent pedestal. Afterwards, strange things begin to happen around the castle. It turns out, ghostly spirits have been freed. They possess Chris' mom, suck Sonic into a vortex of some sort, and trick Amy into releasing their otherworldly lord: King Boom Boo. Can Chris and Amy undo this curse before it's too late?

Fear of possession, whether by the spirits of the dead or otherworldly entities, is common across almost all cultures. This speaks to a universal human anxiety: The realization that we do not have control over our own bodies. Disease, age, parasites, and even our own subconscious can cause our bodies and brains to betray us at any minute. Unsurprisingly, this fear has spawned a subgenre of horror fiction. From classics like "The Exorcist" to gore-fests like "Evil Dead," it's an idea horror writers and filmmakers will never stop capitalizing on.

A "Sonic the Hedgehog" cartoon is probably not someplace you'd expect to see a story like this but here we are. Chris sees his mother and his friend Amy change into unrecognizable beings that attack him. Their faces twist into ghoulish visages, eyes wide and smiling. But that's not a smile of joy but one of unhinged lunacy. Amy hears Sonic say words to her she's longed to hear but it's not really him saying it. It's another entity purposely manipulating her. Whether or not "Sonic's Scream Test" utilizes these elements well is debatable but I gotta give the show some credit for even going there.

Whether you find "Sonic's Scream Test" creepy or not probably depends entirely on how old you were when you first watched it. However, I think this episode gets the ambience right, if nothing else. I'm a man with far too many opinions about gothic horror movies, so believe me way I say this is a pretty nice spooky castle. The scene of Lindsey Thorndyke wandering the dark corridors in a classy gown, lit only by a candelabra, is some good shit. A later moment of the sound guy wandering the same creepy hallway, listening for strange noises, is even better. The use of otherworldly, giggling children voices is a cliché but it works here. There's even something classical about the ghosts being unleashed by a simple stone item being removed. That gives me some "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" vibes and, ya know, I like that movie.

Ultimately though, this episode just can't work one-hundred-percent for me. After that promising first act, it starts to fall apart once the ghosts actually appear on-screen. These goofy motherfuckers just aren't scary, man. The diminutive spectres have big toothy grins that are exaggerated in a cartoonish way, not an uncanny way. Their swirly eyes are similarly more funny than spooky. These faces might've been unsettling if attached to something other than the marshmallow-y stereotypical sheet ghost body. The little ghosts in "Sonic & Knuckles" managed to be sort of creepy with a lot less than these guys.

Their giant overlord, given the less-than-intimidating name of King Boom Boo, looks like a cookie jar and has a rainbow-colored tongue for some reason. (In the Japanese audio, he's called King Booboo, which makes it sound like he's after some pic-a-nic baskets.) The annoying part is, with some slightly subtler colors or facial designs, these guys could've been genuinely creepy. Their trick of replacing normal faces with their ghost faces is a genuinely good one. The moment where Amy's face morphs into a ghostly grin is halfway to a decent jump-scare.

Another thing that bugs me about this episode is its inconsistent rules. When dealing with archetypal monsters, you either have to respect or subvert the rules. Not all werewolves are allergic to silver and not all vampires hate garlic but every iteration of these species have specific rules they abide by. These ghosts fear the stone hour glass that can imprison or free them. That's fine. But they can also produce a spooky vortex for no defined reasons. (Other than the writers needed to remove Sonic from the episode for a while.) Most vexingly, how intangible the ghosts are varies from scene-to-scene. Sometimes they pass through walls with ease. Other times, Sonic can slam King Boom Boo into a wall, burying him in rubble that he then chews his way through. Make up your mind, "Sonic X."

It also takes Chris Thorndyke way too long to figure out that the ghosts will be trapped when the hourglass is placed with the moon symbol down and the sun symbol up... Even after he reads a convenient plaque saying just that. Then again, maybe idiocy runs in the Thorndyke family. Chris' mom is, I guess, a complete dumbass. When she first meets Tails and Amy, she assumes they are special effects. Later, after her ghost is exorcised, she seems to think the entire experience has been a film shoot. That she just stumbled into starring in a fantasy movie. Oh yeah, she also complains about her feet hurting while running from the ghosts in high-heels, endangering her son in the process. Needless to say, I don't think we can owe Lindsey Thorndyke's great success as an actress to her intelligence.

Despite possibly being a little too spoopy for the really young ones, 4Kids mostly let this episode air with minimal editing... With one amusing exception. See, the moon symbol on the hourglass features a crescent moon and a star. You might notice that looks a lot like the globally recognized symbol of Islam. In order not to offend anyone, the star was digitally removed in the dub. That was probably for the best. Overall, the potential this episode shows in its first half is squandered in its second half, which is probably way I'm going to rate something that would otherwise be extremely my kind of shit on the lower end. But it's still scarier than every "Sonic" creepypasta ever written, so I guess that's worth at least a [6/10].

Sonic X, Episode 1.18: The Dam Scam

Sonic X, Episode 1.18: The Dam Scam

Japanese Title: Huge Shoot-Out on the Savanna!

Japanese Air Date: August 3rd, 2003

U.S. Air Date: January 31st, 2004

I guess it should've been obvious by now but it seems the second of "Sonic X's" story arcs is going to have an international angle to it. Since the focus has really turned towards gathering the Chaos Emeralds, "Sonic X" has taken us to its version of the Hawaiian islands and Asia. Today's episode, as the Japanese title probably indicated, drops us onto the African savanna. Considering the "New World" arc mostly focused on Thorndyke mansion, Chris' school, and other places around Station Square, it's a nice change of pace. 

To go into more detail: The X-Tornado is flying over the savanna when Eggman's massive Egg Fortress somehow sneaks up on them. Sonic makes short work on the warship but the X-Tornado is struck by a piece of flying wreckage. Grounded for a while as Tails makes repairs, Chris and the fox come across a local construction site where a dam is being built. This will fuck up the ecosystem but the greedy businessman don't care. That changes when Tails rallies support from the local people and animals. Meanwhile, Eggman deploys E-65 Garru-Gaooh, a dangerous new robot, to make Sonic's life miserable. 

"The Dam Scam" is basically a filler episode that occupies itself with silly humor and unimportant side characters, without featuring a single Chaos Emerald. Yet the episode does make one important contribution to the overall "Sonic X" lore: It gives us a peek at Tails' backstory. We learn, in the forested homelands of Not-Mobius, he was bullied by the other Not-Mobians for his interest in technology. In a likely homage to the "Sonic 2" manual, he spots Sonic running around, is immediately smitten with his coolness, and chases after him. After Tails improves and repaints the Tornado, which Sonic just has sitting around for some reason, the two become fast friends. It's not much but I like the idea that Sonic and Tails' friendship is based on the hedgehog not being a judgmental asshole, as opposed to the usually more one-sided "big brother" relationship he has with Tails. 

This episode also harkens back to another idea that was present in early "Sonic" but was largely discarded by this point in the franchise. That would be an ecological theme. The greedy businessman don't care that their dam will displace the local wildlife. They're only interested in the money it'll make them. When Tails spots the hordes of sad looking animals standing outside the construction site, he organizes them into opposing the building. This seemingly works over the course of a few hours, which is incredible. But I guess the sight of mad elephants and gorillas standing outside a construction site would put the fear of God into even the most bottom-dollar obsessed businessman. 

Though one can only take this pro-nature premise so seriously, simply because the creators of this episode seem deeply misinformed about many topics. First off, why would you build a dam on the savanna, a geological region synonymous with being wide and flat and fairly dry? Later, the businessmen attempt to set fire to some trees, in the mistaken belief that smoke creates clouds, which will create rain and flooding, necessitating the creation for the dam. That's just not how any of that works, you guys. I'm not sure if this is meant to reflect how clueless the businessmen are or how clueless the writers are. Considering this episode also depicts gorillas as living on the savanna and, most egregiously, not a single black person residing in the near-by community, I'm betting it's the latter. 

This whole episode has a weird gorilla fixation, even though they live in jungles and not savannas. Eggman's Robot of the Week is E-65 Gorru-Gaooh, whose name I'm assuming is a weird Japanese pun on "gorilla." In addition to resembling the long-limbed ape, E-65 has a more monkey-like coloration and also looks a bit like a Dogū, with its wide-eyed face. Despite having two breast-shaped cockpits that Decoe and Bocoe hang out in, the machine has a grunting, ooking mind of its own. For no reason I can decipher, the gorilla-bot also has a Predator-like cloaking technique, being able to blend in among the trees and leaves. 

This quirky robot provides an actual threat for Sonic. The camouflage ability catches Sonic off-guard and the machine beats him into submission. This leads to a kind of campy but also kind of cool scene where Sonic closes his eyes, centers himself, and listens for the invisible machine's next step. That would've been a good climax, our hero outthinking his opponent and overcoming a genuine challenge. Instead, the episode reveals that Gorru-Gaooh's cloaking doesn't work among the construction site's machines. Sonic grabs a Power Ring and explodes the robot. (This is after he completely wrecks the Egg Fortress earlier in the episode the same way.) I guess that was an awkward attempt to fuse the episode's two plot lines but it mostly just seems like the "Sonic X" writers couldn't let a single episode pass without Sonic powering up and humiliating Eggman with ease. 

More than anything else, what I'll most remember about this episode is its bizarre sense of humor. There are several very puzzling gags. Such as when the downed Egg Fortress is surrounded by crocodiles, which Eggman then electrocute... Yes, Eggman seemingly murders a whole lake full of crocodiles, their dead bodies floating belly up. (Unsurprisingly, this moment was cut from the 4Kids dub.) Later, there's a scene where Sonic encounters a cheetah, which he mocks in a speed-related fashion. Weirdly, this sequence concludes with an omniscient narrator speaking and also features a lingering close-up of the cheetah's ass. (Also cut from the dub.) Amusingly, the cheetah gets a data card during the eye-catch, the second time this show has extended that honor to a literal random animal. Bokkun is forced to tap-dance against his will and Eggman breaks the fourth wall by referring to the businessmen as "minor characters." Let me tell ya, there's some quality shitposting inside this cartoon.

Also, the sole Chris focused scene has him telling Tails he wants to grow up to study animals, before clarifying he means Earth animals and not animals like Tails and Sonic. Sounds like Chris is a furry-in-denial to me. This is also one of those "Sonic X" episodes with noticeably sketchy animation. The use of CGI in several scenes really sticks out. Despite that, this one is too lovably bizarre for me not to enjoy it. I really didn't expect "Sonic X" to be as consistently surreal and hilarious as it is. [7/10]