Sonic X, Episode 2.24: Running Out of Time

Sonic X, Episode 2.24: Running Out of Time

Japanese Title: The Morning of Farewells

Japanese Air Date: March 14th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: March 19th, 2005

Once again, I'm struck by the difference in the English and Japanese titles for "Sonic X." The U.S. title for the twenty-fourth episode of the show's second season is “Running Out of Time" Not only does this title draw attention to improbable "time is going to die" plot point from the previous episode. It's also a pun, as time is literally running out while our heroes race to resolve the problem. "Running Out of Time" implies suspense, a need for action as disaster draws near. The Japanese titles "The Morning of Farewells," meanwhile, is mournful. It focuses on the characters saying goodbye and all the emotion that entails. It's a pretty typical difference in American kids media versus Japanese kids media, where one must continuously emphasize action while the other allows other, more complicated emotions to exist. 

And the Japanese title is also more accurate, as the looming threat of "time stopping" is sparingly referenced in this episode. Turns out it was nothing more than a plot device. Instead, the episode is more concerned with Chuck and Tails racing to finish the device which will take Sonic and his friends home. After the President makes a formal announcement about Sonic's departure, a hedgehog-hating general attempts a coup. This includes an attack on Eggman's base, which Sonic decides to defend against. This causes the villain to give Sonic the last piece necessary to make the Stargate. As everyone says their tearful goodbyes to the furries, Chris Thorndyke struggles with his feelings towards Sonic. 

One of my favorite things about "Sonic X" is when the show would explore the effect Sonic had on Earth and human society. We saw this last episode in the more-than-a-little bullshitty "Freedom Movement." And we definitely see it this episode. Not too many installments of this series have explored the idea that some people might not like Sonic and his friends. Considering the human race is naturally inclined towards xenophobia and racism, it seems realistic to me that a lot of people would hate and fear Sonic and the gang. In this episode, we see the direct consequences of that, when a "Dr. Strangelove"-like rogue general decides to go against the government stance and destroy the hedgehog and his pals. 

Though we never actually see the Sonic-hating general make an attempt on his life... In fact, the entire spiel might just be an excuse for to attempt a coup. All throughout "Sonic X," a probably unintentional anti-authoritarian subtext has repeatedly emerged, where members of the government, military, and police are depicted as incompetent nincompoops. This continues here, as the general is shown to be an egotistical idiot and fool whose plans are quickly defeated. Partially because he underestimated the power of Eggman and the Sonic Team, another reoccurring trope of this series. 

Let's talk a little bit more about that attempted coup, something else about this show that probably seemed more fantastical in 2004 than it does now. A group of black-suited agents — who recall both "Men in Black" and "The Matrix" — storm into the Oval Office and hold the president at gunpoint. Luckily, Rouge and Knuckles are there to save the day. In fact, I would have happily watched a whole episode devoted to these two playing "Die Hard" in the White House. The scene of Rouge sneaking through the air vents just for Knuckles to punch a huge hole in the wall is hilarious. These two have got a real John McClane/Zeus dynamic and I would have loved to have seen that play out more. 

Instead, Rouge karate kicks the agents into submission within seconds. That's because this episode is a little overstuffed with events. There's also a sequence where G.U.N. attacks Eggman's base. Even though his technology has been repeatedly shown to be superior, Eggman is still overwhelmed by this. For reasons I already can't recall, Sonic decides to protect Eggman against G.U.N., once again displaying his God-like ability to completely wreck the shit out of robots in seconds. This allows Eggman to reveal three new warships that then combine into a bigger warship, which feels like this show indulging its fetish for robots and mechanical designs one last gratuitous time. All of this barely connects with the rest of the plot, by the way. I didn't even mention the random appearance of the ARK in the story, which I still don't totally understand! 

If the designers felt the need to squeeze in another giant combining mecha, it might be because this really does feel like the last episode of "Sonic X." The entire last third is devoted to the Thorndyke family and friends saying tearful goodbyes to the gang. (Nelson and Lindsey stay at home, because they care about nobody but themselves.) Chuck hugs Tails and cries. Helen hugs Cream and cries. Ella hugs Amy and cries. Even Sam Speed gets to say a stereotypically macho stoic goodbye. There's some genuinely sweet moments here, such as when Ella gifts Amy her recipe book. Or when Rouge hands Topaz a special gem stone and the agent waits until she's gone to break down and cry. (And Tanaka pats her on the back, proving once and for all that Rouge is Topaz's real love and Tanaka is just the rebound.) There's also some unintentional humor here, in the hilarious repeated visuals of Tails and the others fading into the spinning, neon vortex like they are cardboard cutouts or something. 

Of course, the most important goodbye of all is Chris and Sonic. All throughout the episode, Chris reflects back on poignant memories of his time with Sonic. Such as a time — that probably seems super important to Chris but that I bet Sonic doesn't even remember — where they were sitting around the pool and talking. Finally, Chris puts on a cute little suit, shakes Sonic's hand and says goodbye to him. For a minute there, it really seemed like this show was wrapping up Chris' character arc. He was ready to say at goodbye to Sonic. He was ready to let go of this person who made a huge impact on him because he realizes that life goes on. That his value as a human being isn't tied to his friendship to a blue hedgehog. 

It seemed like that's where the show was going but, haha, nope. Chris Thorndyke is too fundamentally broken a human being to ever accept that. While shaking hands with Sonic, he screams "No!" inside his brain. This is foreshadowing to an even more desperate, pathetic action immediately afterwards. As Sonic walks towards the portal, Chris slams his hand down on what I guess is the machine's kill switch. I don't know if this will continue to imperil the world and the abstract concept of time. Or if he just stranded Sonic on Earth forever. If this planet and Sonic's home world are separated again, I'm assuming that would solve the problem. Either way, Chris' psychological problems, his fear of abandonment and inability to self-actualize, are so great that he really will endanger himself and others to make sure he's not separated from Sonic. Chris is becoming more of a tragic hero every day.

But, of course, the real reason Chris does this very dramatic thing, presumably, is that there's still two episodes left in season two. I'm not quite sure where the story can go from here, considering even Eggman has left Earth. If we're going to get to more episodes devoted entirely to how fucked up Chris Thorndyke is, well, I would probably love that. "The Morning of Farewells" is a pretty messy episode but there's just too much interesting stuff happening in it for me to give it a negative review. This show has layers, I guess is what I'm saying. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.20: A Wild Win

Sonic X, Episode 2.20: A Wild Win

Japanese Title: Sonic Battle: Finale!!

Japanese Air Date: February 15th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: February 26th, 2005

Instead of picking up the far more exciting plot point of Sonic chasing after Eggman, the last part of the "Sonic Battle" story arc begins by focusing on the martial arts tournament. The episode quickly progress through a series of matches before coming to the final fight: Knuckles vs. Emerl. The robot's abilities to copy his opponent's moves makes him an ideal match for Knuckles, who quickly relents to the beating he receives. As Emerl is handed the red Chaos Emerald, his electronic brain is overwhelmed. The formally kind robot gains red eyes and proceeds to attack everyone violently. Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge can't stop him and he's soon tearing the city apart. That's when a very unexpected hero emerges with the perfect strategy to stop the rampaging machine. 

As I've mentioned in the past, tournament arcs are often done to pad out the episode counts of long-running shonen fighting anime. (Usually so the manga can produce more material for the show to adapt.) This means the story lines usually go on for a decent number of episodes. "Sonic X," meanwhile, squeezes an entire fighting tournament into two episodes. "A Wild Win" crams six matches into its opening minutes, before a relatively short final battle occurs.

Admittedly, I have to admire the show for speeding through the match-ups, as I really didn't want to watch an endless series of fight scenes anyway. Yet I mostly came away from the first half of this episode thinking how disappointing a tournament this must have been for audiences to watch. Has there ever been a martial arts tournament before where so many matches end without actual fighting? Or where one opponent just randomly decides to give up? In this episode alone, Chris decides he doesn't want to fight Amy or Rouge in the finals, so he fakes a belly ache against Knuckles. Mr. Stewart forfeits his fight against Lucky, when Scarlet Garcia recognizes him from the "Sonic Adventure 2" subplot. When Lucky is suppose to fight Emerl, the bell-shaped robot just collapses from a sprained ankle or something. I guess Emerl learned to copy Lucky's luckiness? How the hell is that suppose to work? This follows the previous episode, where half the fights ended in boring forfeits or ring-outs.

The semi-final fight is one of the few actual showdowns the tournament presents us with. But the audience in the stadium is denied even the satisfaction of getting to see that. Perhaps remembering that Knuckles beat her the last time they fought, Rouge demands a handicap. (She uses the excuse of being a delicate female, which I can't believe anybody bought considering they've all seen Rouge tear robots to pieces.) Knuckles agrees to fight Rouge in a black-out tent, where the night vision equipped bat will have an advantage... Which means the people watching live see none of the actual fight! They just hear Knuckles and Rouge tumbling around in the dark, grunting at each other. They could be having rough sex in there, for all we know. Considering Rouge emerges, battered and bruised but feeling confident before collapsing from exhaustion, I'm choosing to believe that is exactly what happened. Honestly, if I had paid an exorbitant ticket price to watch this fight, I'd be asking for a refund. 

Of course, there's a reason "Sonic X" rushes through all of this shit: The episode isn't actually about the fighting tournament. Instead, Emerl holding the Chaos Emerald, going insane, and attacking the city is much more important. Not that this plot point is especially well done either. Emerl's ability to copy fighting techniques is believable enough to make him a match for Knuckles, who is not a master tactician anyway. Yet the machine immediately reducing Station Square to rubble is a little hard to believe. We see buildings devastated and the streets inundated with rubble. One little robot did all that?! Nobody thought to call in the military or anything? Station Square just got destroyed by Perfect Chaos not that long ago, so it really feels like the show seriously inflates Emerl's destructive capabilities in a desperate attempt to make the little guy seem like a serious threat. 

Actually, I'm not sure if the show runners wanted us to take Emerl seriously as a villain or not. Because he's defeated by a pre-schooler. Yes, Cream summons the strength to stand up to her former robotic friend. And she doesn't do it by making a declaration of love or an emotional plea from the heart. It looks like it's going to go in that direction but, nope, Cream just beats the shit out of him. There is no "crayon breaky Willow" speech. Instead, Cream touches on the strategy of having Cheese leap in front of Emerl's face whenever he's ready to copy Cream's ability, interrupting the process. The other characters interpret this as "Emerl can't copy more than one person at a time," even though he did exactly that earlier in the episode. 

It's a pretty ridiculous ending for a number of reasons. Sure, Cream and Cheese destroyed countless Eggman machines in "Sonic Advance 2." But this cartoon has portrayed her as nothing but a harmless, even petulant little child. Having her suddenly swing into action hero mode – defeating a foe in a few minutes that Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge all struggled with – strains believability. I also can't believe that literally no one besides the tiny child thought of disrupting Emerl's scanning abilities before this point. It seems like a fairly obvious solution to me! Or, like, Tails and Chuck could've designed a computer virus and infected Emerl from afar with a drone. Or the government could've just dropped a bomb on him. How are you going to copy a bomb's special move? Anything would've been better than having a cute little bunny punch the murder-bot in the face until he fell into the ocean.

Or, maybe, Emerl's love for Cream could've overpowered whatever ancient mayhem protocol the Chaos Emerald activates. (Rouge crudely wonders if this is the case, by asking if Emerl "likes little girl." I can't tell if that's a pedo joke or just an unfortunate translation choice.) But I don't think this would've been dramatically satisfying either. Because we don't actually care about Cream and Emerl's relationship. Emerl has done almost nothing since being introduced a few episodes ago. His bond with Cream has been talked about more than it's actually been shown. How many scenes have they even had together before this episode? "Sonic Battle: Finale!!" certainly packs in the melodramatic emotion. Emerl cries motor oil as he sinks into the ocean and Cream weeps after he explodes. Yet I have zero emotional investment in these two's relationship, so none of this stuff hits home at all.

There might have been another reason why most of the fight scenes in this episode either occur off-screen or conclude without actual violence: The animator had neither the time, resources, budget, ability, or interest in making the fight scenes look decent. In the back half of the episode, there's far too many scenes of Emerl turning into a spinning tornado and rushing at our heroes. There's in general quite a lot of repetition, frames of people rushing back and forth around their opponent being repeated. A shot later, of Sonic balancing on his toes as he stands at the dock, looks especially shitty. I guess this show isn't like "Dragon Ball Z," when they can just save money in fight scenes by spending three episodes on someone charging up an attack.

By the way, Eggman – who has almost nothing to do in this episode – casually mentions that Emerl is made from ancient technology. This is a callback to the "Sonic Battle" video game, where Emerl was built by some mysterious, long-since-gone civilization. Yet it's definitely pretty sloppy that they mention his origins in an off-hand manner like this instead of, ya know, actually depicting it on-screen. I'm sure, "Sonic" fans being the particularly passionate people they are, that Emerl is someone's favorite character. But I've never thought he was that interesting and this pretty half-assed episode reinforces that belief. After a fun start, the "Sonic Battle" two-parter ends in spectacularly shitty fashion. [4/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.19: Prize Fights

Sonic X, Episode 2.19: Prize Fights

Japanese Title: Sonic Battle: Opening!!

Japanese Air Date: February 8th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: February 19th, 2005

After a bit of build-up, we have finally arrived at the official adaptation of "Sonic Battle." Sort of. "Sonic X" completely abandons the game's plot in favor of its own wacky premise. The government is concerned about Eggman, now out of prison and up to no good. They decide to hold a public martial arts tournament, with Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge all being forced to participate. The prize is an honest-to-god Chaos Emerald. It's all a ploy to lure the mad scientist out into the open. The tournament is opened to the public, with most of Sonic's friends successfully entering into the competition. Much shenanigans ensue. 

In the history of action anime, there's no story more commonplace than the tournament arc. Since so many shonen shows revolve around fighting or competition, it's natural and almost obligatory to include a tournament eventually. It's a simple premise that allows the writers to take it easy for a bit, putting pure plot aside in favor of bouncing colorful characters off of each other. It gives an excuse to let good guys grapple it out or to showcase the skills of supporting characters. It's also often used as filler for this exact same reason. Whether you find this more-fighting, less-story set-up entertaining or tedious is entirely a matter of personal taste. 

"Sonic X," being the show it is, completely refuses to play by the usual rules of the tournament arc. Instead of showcasing popular "Sonic" cast members, like the Chaotix or Shadow, most of the fights are made up of random side characters. Was anyone begging to see Sam Speed and Mr. Stewart fight it out? Characters I had forgotten about, like Lucky and Hawk, are reintroduced here. Unsurprisingly, this show plays this premise less for action and more for absurdist comedy. Many of the fights are totally farcical. Ella chases Big the Cat around the ring, a scene so silly even 4Kids decided it had to be cut. Sam gets disqualified for tackling Mr. Stewart before the bell rings. Bocoe and Decoe are ready to have an epic judo match when the cops show up and declare them wanted fugitives. 

The show lacks so much commitment to the fight-driven premise that most of the showdowns end with someone nonviolently conceding. Ella refuses to fight Emerl. Mr. Tanaka charms Topaz into surrendering with some jewelry. (Which is bullshit, as we all know Topaz only has eyes for Rouge.) Rouge rings-out Tails by stunning him with a peck on the cheek. Chuck doesn't even get a chance to fight Lucky, because his back goes out while training. Which is pretty funny. In fact, I laughed a lot during this episode. Such as when everyone plays on an otherwise uninterested Knuckles' fragile masculine ego to convince him to enter the competition, essentially guilting him into fighting. Or when Amy debates whether it's right for a young lady like her to show-off her violent side before absolutely annihilating Bokkun with her hammer. 

Of course, I really have to question how any of this is legal. There doesn't seem to be any rules determining who could enter this tournament, or what equipment they could use. Looking at the contestants, you could've potentially had ordinary citizens – including an elderly man or a rotund middle-age woman – fighting against alien superheroes or robots. One of the contestants wears a full suit of armor and Amy uses her hammer, while everyone else is unarmed. Was there any guidelines preventing someone from just bringing a machine gun into the ring and gunning down their opponent? And then we have to consider that several of the fighters are literal children. Having someone like Tails – a fox from another planet with various special abilities – fight an adult like Hawk is one thing. But forcing Chris and Danny, grade schoolers, to wrestle for the public's entertainment or Chris to grapple his own father is unethical, at best, and completely sadistic at worst. 

Yeah, that's right, Chris fights his own dad here. The show plays the match-up for comedy, obviously. Chris defeats his father in minutes and largely off-screen, seemingly pinning him with a leg lock. I suspect Nelson let the boy win. Yet I can't help but imagine how this match-up will further exacerbate the kid's growing Daddy Issues. You can easily imagine him, years later, telling a therapist about the time it sure seemed like his dad was willing to beat his ass in front of millions of people. Then again, Chris' psychological issues are already manifesting. He tricks Danny by acting like he's unwilling to fight a friend, before pinning the other boy quickly. Later, Chris confesses to Sonic that he's tired of being perceived as a child and a "good kid." Obviously, Chris' abandonment issues have left him unable to trust people and questioning his own identity. He's a good thing he's rich and will be able to afford the years of therapy it's going to take to unravel all this shit. 

There are certain political ramifications to consider here, as well. And I'm not even talking about the U.S. government sponsoring a prepubescent fight club in an elaborate, poorly thought out scheme to catch a wanted fugitive. The very first match of the tournament features the President of the United States boxing a regular citizen. Absolutely any outcome to this scenario is going to be a P.R. disaster. Since the President is a doughy old white guy in boxing gloves and trunks and his opponent is someone wearing a suit of medieval armor, Christina Cooper throws in the towel before the leader of the free world is beaten to death. Such a display of cowardice and weakness is definitely not going to play well in the red states! I'm just going to assume President Michael K. is a Republican, because I sure as fuck can't imagine a Democrat ever stripping down and stepping into the ring for some fisticuffs. He's pretty annoyed that he doesn't get to fight. Which seems all too probable in a post-Trump world, where childish macho dumb-assery was a regular event in the Oval Office. (By the way, the Black Knight – nary a flesh wound in sight – turns out to be someone with a personal grudge against the President. I feel like the Secret Service wouldn't have allowed any of this to happen!)

Man, I'm trying to imagine the intense disappointment seven-year-old "Sonic" fans watching this for the first time in 2005 must have felt. The premise makes it seem like we're going to get awesome brawls between Sonic and Knuckles. Instead, the only fight that isn't a massive joke is Tails flailing Hawk, a fat guy with a salad bowl haircut, around the ring. I can see why the U.S. dub didn't include the "Sonic Battle" connection that's in the Japanese title. Not only is this nothing like the game but Gemerl does very little in this episode. The robot continues to have no personality at all and the show has done little of the work needed to make us invested in its bond with Cream. 

The only thing here that I can imagine really pleasing fans is some more gratuitous SonAmy ship-teasing. Sonic and Amy are scheduled to fight. Both are obviously reluctant to do anything and debate how this is going to go... Before Eggman swoops in, fires a laser, and Sonic saves Amy's life. He leaps after the villain, leaving the ring and forfeiting the match. Amy, of course, takes all of this as a sign of the hedgehog's undying love for her. It plays off the opening scene, where she was going through some existential angst over whether or not Sonic would ever acknowledge his feelings for her. The "X" version of Sonic definitely has feelings for Amy but her increasingly maudlin obsession with him is starting to get tiring. Can she go back to being crazy? That's more fun. 

This is definitely a very dumb episode of "Sonic X" but it's so weird and messed-up that I still really enjoyed it. The combination of Japan's surreal sense of humor and these cutesy characters has led to so much unexpected shit. I hope the rest of this story arc is just as demented as this episode was. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.09: Sonic’s Big Break

Sonic X, Episode 2.09: Sonic’s Big Break

Japanese Title: Escape from Prison Island

Japanese Air Date: November 30th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: November 13th, 2004

Damn, this episode's Japanese title is way better than the English one. "Sonic's Big Break" is a dumb pun that barely relates to this episode's plot. "Escape from Prison Island" is cool and evocative and actually descriptive of the plot. Which is: Sonic is stuck on Prison Island. Two separate rescue attempts — one from Chris and Mr. Tanaka and another from Tails and Amy — are on their way. Coincidentally, Eggman, Shadow, and Rouge attack the island at the same time. Three Chaos Emeralds are stored there and Eggman needs a complete set to power a new super weapon: The Eclipse Cannon. Shenanigans ensue. 

I guess "Sonic X" is just going to run with the idea that Sonic and Shadow look identical, even though they actually don't. Over the course of this episode, two more people assume the broody hedgehog is the blue-y hedgehog. It takes Chris several minutes to realize Shadow isn't Sonic, which he presumably notices because of his steadfast belief Sonic would never turn to a life of crime. Earlier, Amy leaps out of the X-Tornado and gives Shadow a hug, before realizing this is not her crush. You'd think Amy, who presumably has several shrines to Sonic in her home, would notice the obvious physical differences between him and Shadow. I'm sorry, I'm going to keep making fun of this stupid plot point until the show drops it. 

At least the dumb mistaken identity plot furthers emphasizes the contrast between Sonic and Shadow. During the raid of Prison Island, Shadow installs a time bomb Eggman has built. When Sonic realizes the entire island is about to explode, he flees from his fight with Shadow, focusing on rescuing anyone who still hasn't evacuated. Around the same time, Shadow gets a phone call from Rouge, who has accidentally locked herself in the prison vault. Shadow initially doesn't give a shit about this, only agreeing to rescue Route after she points out she has the three emeralds. The two hedgehogs may mirror each other — they even copy each others' moves during a fight — but Sonic is motivated by empathy. Shadow is motivated only by vengeance. 

But there is a way to touch his thorny, prickish heart. When Chris realizes Shadow isn't Sonic, he hugs the hedgehog right before he Chaos Controls to Rouge's location. At first, Shadow doesn't give a shit about this whining humanoid, ready to let him die. Yet something in Chris Thorndyke's effeminate face reminds him of Maria. This event is obviously a way to force Chris Thorndyke into the established "Sonic Adventure 2" plot but, if Chris gives Shadow a reason to explore his motivation and gooey secret feelings, it might be worth it. 

That is not the only hint towards Shadow's murder-filled backstory. While kept on Prison Island — which Sonic insists was all part of a plan to lure out Shadow, though I'm not sure how — Sonic is kept inside a high-tech cell. It's pretty cool, being inside a impenetrable glass bubble in the water under the island. This is a clever way to imprison Sonic since see the title of this blog. Yet Sonic is clearly not the first resident of this cell. The walls are covered with insanity scrawl, formulas and equations of some sort. The word "Shadow" is clearly visible among the writing. By sheer coincidence, Sonic is imprisoned inside the same cell that clearly held Gerald Robotnik, some fifty years before. (I guess we are to assume that Prison Island hasn't updated its high-tech maximum security sector in half a century. But don't think about it too hard.)

All of this is the stuff I liked about this episode. Which is good, since a lot of this installment is devoted to underwhelming action sequences. The episode begins with the clearly unhinged warden of the prison talking about how impregnable the fortress is. This obviously sets up both our heroes and villains breaking in and decimating the place with ease. What follows is lots of mediocre animation, as Eggman blows up G.U.N. units and gets into a dogfight with Tails. Every explosion in this episode, for some reason, is animated via shitty CGI. Which looks about as good as you'd expect. The other action is equally middling. Sonic and Shadow stiffly trade kicks, punches, and parries. Rouge clips a Flying Dog — which is a very silly name for G.U.N.'s airborne death-ship — with a few kicks. Seriously, are all earthly armors completely useless against furries? Does Sonic's home world have super-strong gravity or something? 

Yet even with the unimpressive fight scenes, I still kind of liked this episode. "Sonic X" is doing a much better job of making "Sonic Adventure 2" its own thing than it did with the first game. (Most notably in the complete exclusion of Knuckles from the story so far.) Part of that process includes inserting some of this show's trademark absurd humor. While still dressed as the Green Hornet and Kato, for no particular reason, Mr. Tanaka and Chris venture towards Prison Island. In order to avoid detection, they do so in a swan-shaped paddle boat. When the prison guards see this very unusual sight, they don't worry about it. And that's after noting people use such boats on romantic dates and seeing that an adult man and a pre-teen boy are sitting inside. Nothing to report here, just a pedophile on a nice date! Also, Decoe and Bocoe tell Eggman Rouge is a liar, Tails attempts to poke the villain with the X-Tornado's nose, and Sonic callously dismisses Amy's attempt at flirting. Funny stuff!

This episode ends with the weirdly guitar-shaped island detonating into a massive mushroom cloud. This means two things: Tanaka, and everyone else I guess, assume Chris is dead, as they don't know Shadow Chaos Controlled him to safety at the last minute. And that whoever owns the prison sure is going to be pissed. They have a high-profile break-in/escape two nights ago and then the entire island explodes! That's going to look bad on the monthly summary. Anyway, I'm continuing to enjoy this show's riff on the video game, even if the animation department is continuing to cut some corners. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.03: A Robot Rebels

Sonic X, Episode 2.03: A Robot Rebels

Japanese Title: Amy the Captive

Japanese Air Date: October 19th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: October 4th, 2004

As the “Sonic Adventure” adaptation continues, “Sonic X” continues to divide its attention among several subplots. Sonic and Tails fly off in the X-Tornado to face off with the Egg Carrier. Knuckles, who is closer than ever to reassembling the Master Emerald and is still having odd visions of the past, soon joins them. Eggman is preoccupied with gathering the penultimate Chaos Emerald, which is still inside Froggy. He sends the E-100 series to catch the amphibian but only E-102 Gamma — who just happens to be standing there when Big and Chris fish Froggy out of the lake — is the only successful one. Afterwards, the robot is sent to grab the blue bird, which is still hanging out with the captured Amy. The pink hedgehog reaches the machine’s inner humanity and he frees her. All of this happens just in time for the big showdown between Tails’ jet and Eggman’s Flying Fortress.

After two episodes that just swapped incidents and boss bottles directly from “Sonic Adventure” and shoved them into “Sonic X,” the show actually goes about adapting the video game a little bit here. The game’s sprawling plot still means this episode is awkwardly splitting its time between several on-going storylines… But at least it’s not just one tedious boss battle after another. This episode actually pauses for quite a few character beats and quieter moments. It changes elements from “Sonic Adventure” to make them fit better within “Sonic X’s” take on this world. There’s even some serialized character development, as Tails is extra driven not to fail this time after his last defeat at Eggman’s hands. It’s not perfect but this is definitely more like what you should do when turning a heavily story-driven video game into an on-going cartoon show. 

One of my favorite parts of “Sonic Adventure” was E-102 Gamma’s storyline. There was something really poignant about a robot, seemingly mechanical and unfeeling on the outside, learning empathy and turning against its master. This episode includes almost all of Gamma’s juiciest scenes from the game: Watching his “brothers” in the E-100 series thrown away after they fail Eggman, stumbling upon E-101 Beta being torn apart and rebuild inside the bowels of the ship, and Amy successfully talking him into letting her go. These moments were great in the game specially because Gamma’s exterior is so steely and unmoving. The robot’s lack of expression, in the face of these very emotional moments, proved more powerful than just telling us how he’s feeling. “Sonic X” doesn’t get that memo. Bocoe and Decoe outright describe what Gamma is feeling as the other E-100 robots are disposed of. The machine is given more dialogue, more obvious emotion, in the other two moments. The show is going for sappy when subtle would’ve been a better choice. It definitely makes Gamma’s arc less effective. 

But let’s talk about Amy Rose for a little bit. When she’s locked up in Eggman’s jail cell, this does give her plenty of time to reminisce. She thinks back to a time on her home world, when Sonic rescued her from a giant robot. Mostly, she fantasizes. She imagines a scenario where she impresses Sonic with her improved cooking skills or an even more elaborate fantasy, where Sonic is so blown away by how much she’s matured that he begins to chase after her. It seems Amy is doing that thing everybody does when they’re in their twenties and moving into their own place for the first time. She becomes nostalgic for simpler times and constantly fantasizes about the day she’ll figure it all out and it’ll all make sense. This almost justifies the damsel-status this storyline has hassled the previously untamable Amy with. She’s taking getting her own place really hard and it’s messing with her. If nothing else, the fantasy where Sonic is really impressed with how different Amy looks — when she looks exactly the same — is good for a laugh. 

Also good for a laugh are several of the episode’s comedic moments. Yes, “Sonic X” is back to including goofball comic relief, which I’ve really missed so far this season. The humorous highlight of the episode is when the E-100 robots stand around and compare the different frogs they’ve caught, trying to prove which one is better. Seeing these murder machines, that literally have guns for hands, act like a bunch of kids at summer camp is cute. A later moment, where Bocoe and Decoe activate a robotic cheerleader squad on the deck of the Egg Carrier, isn’t as funny but is the kind of appealingly random bullshit this show likes to include. Weirdly, though Big the Cat is a blatantly ridiculous character, he does not feature in any of these comedic scenes. He just stands around and fishes while Chris tells him they don’t have time to fish… And still people defend this character’s existence…

An element from the games I’m really glad “Sonic X” ditched is watching Knuckles glide around and dig up Master Emerald shards. We really didn’t need to see too much of that to get the general idea. At the start of this episode, he’s already gathered most of the shards he needs, meaning this plot thread will conclude soon enough. Instead, Knuckles’ subplot focuses on his continued visions from Tikal. These scenes further clarify that Chaos wasn’t such a bad guy before Pachamac barged into his temple like an asshole, to a less vague degree than the similar scenes in the game. There is a pretty funny moment when Tikal delivers some blatant exposition about the connection between the Master Emerald and the less Emeralds and then afterwards Knuckles is all like “what did that mean?” I love this red dumbass.

But even my love for Knuckles’ very toned and muscular dumb ass does not equal this show’s love of transforming airplanes. In order to mimic the Tornado II’s secondary mode from the game, “Sonic X” gives the X-Tornado a new battle mode. It sprouts ridiculous looking robot arms, which a shield and a sword further extending from these new appendages. The amount of sheer joy this jet turning into a fighting robot clearly gave the people who worked on this show is almost infectious. The Egg Carrier also transforms into its secondary mode in this scene, which is taken straight from the game but just seems to intensify the overwhelming joy-boner the sight of an airplane shifting into a different looking airplane gives this program. Even Tails is caught up in this ecstasy, as Sonic has to remind him that showing off his bitchin’ robot is not the point of this mission. 

And speaking of Sonic, this is another episode where he doesn’t really contribute to the plot. Aside from his role in Amy’s daydream or a pep talk he gives Tails early on, the blue hedgehog doesn’t do much besides stand on-top of the X-Tornado here. It definitely amuses me how irrelevant Sonic is to his own TV show sometimes. Anyway, this episode is definitely an improvement over the previous two so hopefully this is the speed the rest of the “Sonic Adventure” arc keeps as it nears its conclusion. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.23: Emerald Anniversary

Sonic X, Episode 1.23: Emerald Anniversary

Japanese Title: Mayhem! 6 Chaos Emeralds

Japanese Air Date: September 7th, 2003

U.S. Release Date: March 6th, 2004

The plot of episode 23 of "Sonic X" begins with a very important event: Chris Thorndyke's dad deciding to buy his wife a gift for their wedding anniversary. He stops into the fanciest jewelry store in Station Square and buys their biggest and most expensive gemstone... Which just happens to be the purple Chaos Emerald. He meets Chris, Chuck, Sonic, and the rest of the team at Filmdom City, a studio where Lindsey is wrapping up her latest movie. Things start to go awry when the purple Emerald reacts violently to the other near-by Emeralds. This attracts the attention of Eggman, who crashes into the studio with his latest killer robot.

After screwing around for several episodes, "Sonic X" remembers that it has an on-going story arc. "Emerald Anniversary" manages to bring most of the pertinent plot points of the first season together. It's reaffirmed that Sonic and the gang has four emeralds — I'm glad they mentioned this as I had lost track — and Knuckles has one. With the introduction of the purple emerald, that means there's only one left to collect. Rouge and Topaz are brought back into the story, through an only slightly contrived series of events. (Rouge is lustfully starring at the jewelry shop when Nelson Thorndyke happens by.) Mr. Stewart also continues to force himself into these events, so I guess he'll be important eventually too. 

The exact properties of the Chaos Emeralds varies between the different iterations of the "Sonic" franchise. About the only thing that's consistent about them is they are a mysterious source of great power. In the Archie "Sonic" comics, if two Chaos Emeralds are brought together suddenly, it resulted in a massive, violent discharge of energy. While I doubt the writers and animators behind "Sonic X" we're aware of this, they've come to a similar conclusion. The purple emerald reacts to the blue emerald Sonic is just carrying around for some reason by blasting chaotic light and electric bolts everywhere. This is mostly an excuse to bring all the various parties together, as a big spike of energy shooting into the sky is hard to ignore. (Tails justifies it with a brief line about how "Chaos Emeralds need time to get use to each other" or something.) But I appreciate the almost certainly unintentional link to another branch of the franchise. 

Mostly, this episode is another great example of how rich people fucking blow. How a mundane jewelry store got ahold of a Chaos Emerald, when the government and our team of superheroes and villains are after them, I don't know. Either way, Nelson Thorndyke struts in — via a stretch limo and flanked by bodyguards, for fucks' sake — and demands a ring be made of it without a second thought. He's a first-hand witness to the violent effects of two emeralds being near-by but he goes ahead with his trivial anniversary surprise anyway. His absurd wealth and complete disregard for real world concerns, in favor of his shallow rich person bullshit, ends up endangering the world as Eggman makes it away with the emerald in the end. 

The episode seems at least mildly aware of what a horrible dumbass Chris' dad is, as Lindsey ends up hating his big anniversary surprise. She's filming yet another period piece costume drama when Nelson takes the place of her costar, stumbles to the ground, and drops the emerald. The two have a big argument about how he ruined the take. And that's before a mad scientist and his giant robot attacks. Jeez, it's almost as if barging into a situation unannounced, assuming what you are doing is delightful without informing anyone, is an asshole move, Nelson! Fucking rich people, man... 

Eggman attacking a film set and making it away in the end may sound like serious business but most of this episode is devoted to broad, comedic wackiness. He's sends a fire-breathing dragon-bot named E-74 Weazo — presumably so named because he looks just like Buddy Holly — after Sonic, while Bocoe and Decoe peruse Tails and Amy. What follows is a goofy foot chase across multiple film sets. There are goofy shout-outs to "Jurassic Park," "Star Wars," "Titanic" and "Godzilla." There's even a moment of stretchy slapstick when Tails' arms extend like an old rubber hose cartoon character. Truly, this show has more in common with "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" than I ever expected. 

The few action scenes that are serious concern Sonic fighting off Weazo. Sonic may be super-fast but he's rightfully intimidated by fire. What makes this action sequence especially entertaining is that Knuckles comes to Sonic's aide. He ends up shattering a random aquarium, dousing Weazo's flamethrower, and giving Sonic the chance to deliver one of those one-hit-K.O. headshots he's fond of. Considering so many episodes of this cartoon have concluded with Sonic tearing the Robot-of-the-Week apart without breaking a sweat, it's fun to see the hedgehog challenged, to see him need some help from a friend to survive. 

Season one of "Sonic X" definitely seems to be — finally! — ramping up towards a big conclusion with this episode. Eggman grabbing a Chaos Emerald is an exciting cliffhanger to end on. With only one left to locate, the story is advancing again. There's also a brief tease about the U.S. government reverse-engineering Eggman's technology, into some sort of Hercules beetle-shaped tank. Considering how easily Sonic destroys Eggman's machines, I don't know if that's money well-spent. But you know how the government is. Presumably, this plot point will pay off eventually.

Two more things I want to bring up before leaving you today: Usually 4Kids' dub titles are pretty dumb, thinking of the easiest pun and leaving it at that, but "Emerald Anniversary" made me crack a smile. Good job on that one, localization team. (It is, if nothing else, more elegant than "Mayhem! 6 Chaos Emeralds.") Speaking of localization! A moment definitely removed from the dub is Mr. Tanaka, after being totally defeated by Eggman's robot, ripping open his shirt and preparing to commit harikari. Dude, I think you might be taking this samurai a little too far. Anyway, the Thorndyke shenanigans are a little irritating but the last half of this episode is pretty entertaining, so I'll give it a soft recommendation. I can't give a negative score to an episode that has a "Godzilla" reference and features more barely concealed sexual chemistry between Rouge and Topaz. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.16: Depths of Danger

Sonic X, Episode 1.16: Depths of Danger

Japanese Title: Aim for It! The Sunken Ship in the Southern Sea

Japanese Air Date: July 20th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: January 17th, 2004

Any long-time readers of this blog will know that I reviewed the Archie "Sonic X" comic quite some time ago. Thus far, during my watch-through of the actual series, I haven't seen too much stuff the comic ran with outside of the generic premise. The perturbed veterinarian that became a member of the evil organization S.O.N.I.C.X. in the comic was taken from a brief cameo in the second episode. That's about it, so far. That changes a little bit with episode 16. The sunken pirate ship that was the setting for the second issue of the comic is taken from this episode. As I watch more of this show, I will presumably see other little nuggets that the comic picked up.

At least the U.S. government has learned its lesson this time. Even though Eggman was seemingly defeated last episode, they are still scanning the oceans for any sign of him. This instinct is wise, as the doctor survives inside his sunken Egg Fort. Meanwhile, the Sonic team decide to go on a vacation to the Grand Sapphire Sea. While overhead, Tails detects another Chaos Emerald. After attempting to deal with Sonic's hydrophobia, the gang eventually rent some scuba gear and investigates. They find the Emerald inside a treasure chest aboard a legendary sunken pirate ship. Eggman, naturally, intervenes at this point.

Once again, my favorite thing about "Sonic X" is the semi-realistic way it explores the premise of Sonic landing on our world. In the first scene in this episode, Chuck presents the furries with something special: Social security cards, pass ports, flight licenses for Tails, and even a pet license for Cheese. (Much to Cream's chagrin, as she insists Cheese is a friend, not a pet.) How Chuck got these documents approved for alien cartoon animals so quickly, when actual human immigrants struggle to achieve these things, presumably has something to do with him being rich. Yes, Sonic, you are now an official person in the eyes of the government. Better start paying your taxes. 

Last review, I mentioned how I sort of like how this show has made a real supporting cast out of its goofy exclusive characters. Yet this has ups and downs. It's nice that Sam Speed and Bokkun aren't just running gags... Which means they are still basically running gags. Here, Bokkun's habit of presenting exploding video messages is accidentally visited on Eggman himself, which is pretty dumb. (Though the Japanese Bokkun is still less annoying than the screechy English version.) Later, Sam Speed swoops in out of nowhere on a jet ski to help Sonic out. Now come on. Is this race car driver/police contractor really just stalking his nephew everywhere and waiting to jump in whenever he can help? That stretches belief and, worst yet, is sloppy writing. 

Despite its flaws, this episode is still pretty amusing. Sonic's inability to swim, and associated fear of water, plays a big role. There's an amusing sequence where Chris tries various half-assed attempts to provide Sonic with oxygen as he traverses the ocean floor. Such as shoving a rubber hose in his mouth or having him carry a bell over his head. Predictably neither of these techniques work very well. The hedgehog's hydrophobia isn't just used for goofy sight gags. It actually increases tension in the last act, after Eggman attacks with a giant jellyfish robot and Sonic discovers he can't run fast underwater. 

Naturally, this aqua-hindrance only slows our hero down so much. After Sam Speed rides up on a jet ski, Sonic grabs a Power Ring and destroys the jellyfish bot in seconds. No, this is not the real challenge Sonic faces in this episode. Instead, this episode presents him with his greatest foe yet... Crab. Yes, this humble crustacean successfully defeats Sonic when he cleaves through his air hose and latches onto his ass. This sends the hedgehog paddling to the surface in a blind frenzy, knowing he's been beat. Yes, this pinching beachcomber accomplishes something Eggman never has: Bring Sonic to his knees. I can only assume this episode is the start of a great arc about Sonic and Crab's rivalry. I mean, it has to be important, because Crab even gets an info-card during the commercial break! Surely, TMS wouldn't throw one of those together for a random, toss-away gag character that does nothing important? 

In all seriousness, this episode is pretty sloppy from a writing perspective. Eggman just inflates some balloons in the Egg Fort and floats it to the surface, the military apparently having moved on, I guess. Maybe nobody just pays attention to this part of the ocean, as it takes Chris and the Sonic team a few minutes of walking to find this legendary sunken pirate wreck. It turns out the owner of the dive shop is the ancestor of the pirate captain, a plot point that has nothing to do with anything. Also, when Chris goes to buy the collection of "Thunderball"-style oxygen masks, we learn the government has passed a bill to pay for anything Sonic needs. That's a not-so-realistic touch there and unnecessary, considering Chris' family is fucking rich as hell. Does this superhero team really need government sponsorship? 

Despite these evident flaws, I can't rate an episode this goofy too harshly. This one made me laugh more than a few times and it actually moves the overall plot forward, as our heroes grab a new Chaos Emerald by the end. So that more than justifies its existence. Any episode that has Sonic getting into a crab battle and definitively loosing can't be all bad, even if it was obviously written in an afternoon. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 1.07: Party Hardly

Sonic X, Episode 1.07: Party Hardly

Japanese Title: Giant Free-for-All! Chris' House Party

Japanese Air Date: May 18th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: October 18th, 2003

"Sonic X" remains in a goofy mood as we head into the seventh episode. Chris' mom is still at home and, feeling guilty for never being there for her son, decides to throw a big party for him. In hopes of gathering some intel, Mr. Stewart also invites himself to the party. Chris' uncle – eventually revealed to be Sam Speed – will also be there. Chris' mom then suddenly leaves home again. Meanwhile, Cream is missing her mom and decides to make flower crowns to remind herself of home. Sonic races off to gather some prime flowers for her. Once the party starts, Chris and Chuck will have trouble hiding their furry friends from the visitors. Especially after Cream has an outburst.

It's becoming clear to me that "Sonic X's" early episodes are definitely closer in tone to "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" than "SatAM." Which is to say that "Party Hardly" is the third episode in a row where really nothing happens. Sonic is only in a few scenes and the story arc of collecting the Chaos Emeralds is no closer to being resolved. Eggman isn't even in this one! Well, actually, one thing of importance does happen here: The Thorndyke house staff learns that Sonic and the gang are living with them now. This will presumably mean fewer wacky sitcom-like shenanigans going forward. Which is good, as I don't think the charade could have believably been kept going much longer.

Granted, this only happens at the very end of the episode. Meaning "Party Hardly" is still largely devoted to aggressively wacky scenarios. Chris and Chuck have to perform goofy hand gestures to keep Mrs. Thorndyke from seeing Cream. Later, the little bunny fucks shit up in the kitchen for Ella. After the party starts, things get really ridiculous. Cream steps out into the open, Sonic taunts Sam Speed from a tree, and Tails and Amy go running through the room. Chris and Chuck attempt to gaslight Ella and Sam, saying they were just hallucinating the talking animals, which is pretty funny. Also Mr, Tanaka nonchalantly reveals he's been aware of Sonic and the others the entire time, presumably because Mr. Tanaka is aware of everything that goes on at the Thorndyke residence.

I'll admit, the increasingly absurd circumstances around Chris' deception did make me laugh. Sam Speed rattling off a list of the things he does fast, and everyone clearly finding this insufferable, is a decent gag. Especially when it's followed up with him saying he forgets things fast too. Another round of gaslighting ending with Tails and Amy's sudden intrusion, ruining the previous effort, is some madcap goofball fun. But one of the funniest moments in the episode is probably unintentional. We know he's doing it because he's a spy but Mr. Stewart imposing himself on Chris' personal life suggests he's too invested in this student. But don't worry, guys, he's not a pedophile. He's just a huge fanboy of Chris' mom, as he arrives with a bundle of roses and is genuinely disappointed when he learns she's not at home. 

Speaking of Chris' mom! The episode begins with her attempting to cook a huge meal for Chris and burning every single item. Chris pretends not to be disappointed, presumably to protect his celebrity parent's fragile ego. But this is not the reason Lindsey Thorndyke is a shitty mother. Mere hours before Chris' party is set to start, Lindsey gets a phone call from her agent. She's been offered a movie role. Filming starts tomorrow and she has to do a press conference that night. She tearfully bemoans that she has to leave Chris behind again. Ya know, Lindsey, you could just... turn the offer down? I mean, you haven't read the script. Do you even know what the movie is about? Why are you accepting this job sight unseen? It's not like you need the money. You're married to Jeff Bezos, for fucks' sake. I can only conclude that being around her child is so painfully uncomfortable for Lindsey that she takes any excuse to leave him at home. All the tears and guilt are a façade. She is an actress, after all. 

Being abandoned once again by parents that clearly hate him leaves Chris crestfallen. At one point, he verbalizes his disappointment that mom isn't around. This causes Cream to launch into a rant at the boy, prompting her to say she hates him. If that seems like an overreaction, it's because Cream misses her own mom so much. This little bunny's mom is so sacred to her, that besmirching the name of any mother anywhere is blasphemous to her. Cream is basically a toddler, so she can be forgiven for this. Though you'd think she'd relate to Chris' plight, instead of criticizing him for it. He's even forced to apologize to her at the end, which seems pretty unfair to the kid. I'm honestly starting to feel sorry for the poor little rich boy. His life is so fucked-up. 

By the way, I love how hilariously melodramatic the Japanese title is for this episode. Describing this small gathering, even one that sinks into chaos, as a "Giant Free-For-All" seems to be overstating it a bit, don't you think? Anyway, it's another very dumb and mildly useless episode but it made me laugh a few times, so I guess its existence is justified. My patience is starting to run out but, for the time being, I still don't hate "Sonic X" yet. [6/10]