TailsTube #11 - A Meeting of the Minds

TailsTube #11 - A Meeting of the Minds

Original Release Date: March 27th, 2025

I am now all caught up with the "Sonic the Hedgehog" virtual YouTuber series "TailsTube" and I have this to ask: Has this entire series been a way to soft-launch normal human beings as a regular part of the "Sonic the Hedgehog" universe again? The very first episode teased the mysterious Purple-Haired MILF and the fandom immediately went wild with speculation over what this could mean. After her name was revealed in episode 10 as "Professor Victoria," episode 11 has the character making her first proper appearance on the show. This occurs at the same time as "TailsTube" starts an arc of some sort devoted to Tails traveling the globe and seemingly revisiting the cities and countries introduced in "Sonic Unleashed." Divisive upon release in 2008, the cartoons and games have referenced the world presented in this game little since then. It would seem that enough time – seventeen years!!! – has passed that "Unleashed" is no longer controversial. Or at least not so controversial that it's been vanquished forever from canon, like Princess Elise and Soleanna. Considering Ian Flynn is now certified lore master of the official Sonic Sacred Timeline and he used the "Unleashed" version of Earth as the outline for the new globe in the post-reboot Archie "Sonic" comics, none of this is all that surprising. 

Truthfully, I would be surprised if Flynn and Tyson Hesse had been playing a calculated long game with "TailsTube." I suspect they probably had inklings of an idea, slipped Prof. Victoria into that first episode to test the waters, and worked backwards from there. Considering how cagey Sega has been about confirming certain elements as Official Dogma or not, at least up until recently, that strikes me as more likely. Now the $1.25 question: What do I, esteemed "Sonic" dweeb, think of all this? When the Post-Super Genesis Timeline was established in the old comic books, confirming that Sonic and all his freaky animal pals co-exist on a civilized Earth not too dissimilar to our own with human beings, I was hostile to the idea. I haaaaated it, truth be told. Many years have passed since then and I now believe that my dislike for this idea was based largely in my devotion to the previously established Archie "Sonic" canon. I was attached to the idea that Mobius was our modern day Earth in the far future, with humanity having splintered off into hidden conclaves of homo sapiens and four-fingered "Overlanders" who had conceded dominance of the planet to the furries decades before in a global war. Suddenly shifting to the new status quo of "Nah, Sonic and friends peacefully coexist with regular-ass people now and it's always been this way actually" gave me whiplash. 

I still prefer the Classic Archie continuity set-up. Or the idea presented in the live action movies and "Sonic X," where Sonic and friends are motherfucking aliens from another world all together who have gotten Isekai'd to our planet. The idea that Sonic and his race of cartoon animal people could simply peacefully live alongside we imperialism prone humans – that Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik is the first person ever to try and displace, enslave, or otherwise exploit the Happy Tree Friends in thousands of years – strikes me as implausible. Nevertheless, historical evidence suggests that it really do be like that. The Japanese game manuals for the original Genesis platformers confirm that Sonic has always lived on South Island, that his people have always stuck to these archipelagos, and that Eggman is the first person to try invading them. That would certainly explain why the hell there was suddenly whole cities of normal people in "Sonic Adventure," which seemed like a massive reboot at the time. Sega barely gave a shit about world-building for the first twenty years of the franchise. The simplistic goals of 16-bit platformers didn't necessitate it. However, there have been vague hints that it has always been this way. In fact, the tie-in media like "Sonic the Animation," the OVA kind of, and even "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" a little bit have always suggested this state of affairs. It's really only "SatAM," "Underground," and the comic books that have gone with the idea of "Mobius" being a post-apocalyptic Earth or alien world of some sort. 

My point here is: Deciding "Sonic Unleashed" was an accurate depiction of the lay-out and function of the blue hedgehog's world in the Archie comic book series, after many years of that most certainly not being the case, annoyed me. Deciding the same is true for the video game universe – which had never depicted a wider world much at all but usually generalized it to be this way – is fine. Truthfully, this is another example of Ian Flynn doing what he's always done. He takes a bunch of unconnected details left lying around by thirty years of stories and he assembles them into some sort of logical whole. It still bugs me that we've seen very little of how these two societies interact, how they function, or what their mutual histories are. However, I'm willing to accept this as the status quo of the games and comics going forth. Sonic and all the characters we care about live on the islands. On the continents, there is a human society similar to our own – and clearly inspired by various cultures around the globe – but ultimately distinct in its histories, cities, and backgrounds. Alright, understood. Duly noted. Let us move on now. 

I swear I never write these "TailsTube" reviews with the intention of taking far too many paragraphs before I actually discuss the episode. (Okay, except those times I did.) Anyway! "A Meeting of the Minds" has Tails and his live-stream making their first stop-off in Spagonia, that Mediterranean inspired nation noted for its art and history. At the University, Tails meets with Professor Victoria, a published author, archeologist, and world renowned historian. Tails is a fan and is stunned to hear that Torii, as she likes to be called, is familiar with his adventures as well. Their conversation about the ancient cultures of this world, and the various mysterious ruins they left behind, are repeatedly interrupted by Orbot. The machine tagged along as revenge for Tails snubbing him on New Year's Eve. He proceeds to spoil every bit of information Tails has to share with the professor about what he knows of these civilizations, not that he bothered to bring along any hard proof of his claims anyway. 

Apparently Professor Victoria had an oblique appearance in "Shadow Generations," as the mysterious individual known only as "T." responsible for compiling Gerald Robotnik's journal pages. (Which exist as collectable items during gameplay.) However, this remains her sole appearance as anything other than a static image. So what do I think of her? Her design is eye-catching enough. I like the way her bouncy purple hair frames her face. I don't know what's up with the Stillsuit looking outfit she has on. Maybe that's standard issue at Spagonia University. The character is voiced by Crystal Lee, a relative newcomer to voice acting who has mostly worked in video games. Lee seems best known for Chinese gambling schemes/waifu generators like "Genshin Impact," "Goddess of Victory: Nikke" and "Zenless Zone Zero." (Though she did voice Cheetah in a random "Justice League" cartoon, a character who is coincidentally also an archeologist.) Lee adopts your standard dignified, refined older woman voice that only hints at the Bayonetta energy fans are going to graft onto Professor Victoria anyway. Within the narrative of this episode, "Torii" mostly exists as the straight woman to Orbot's antics, here to gasp in disbelief at the outrageous things the machine suggests and be skeptical/mildly annoyed by the whole situation. I suppose this hints at a slight stuffy, formal quality to the character – suitable to an academic – or at least a commitment to the hard sciences. Otherwise, we don't get much of a peek at her personality here. Maybe we'll learn more about her actual opinions and shit when we find out if she has a first/last name or not. 

Overall, "A Meeting of the Minds" is an amusing idea for a little four minute bit of animation. The central joke here is easily predicted. Tails is going to have his dreams and hopes of impressing someone he idolizes smashed and ruined by Orbot, who acts as if he's simply being a dunderhead but is actually being malicious. Every time Victoria references a great historical mystery of the planet's distant past, Orbot bluntly and simplistically reveals the truth about these civilizations as revealed in past "Sonic" games. Tails begrudgingly agrees that the robot's statements are basically true, Torii asks if he has any hard proof for these claims, and Tails bashfully admits he doesn't. As Orbot so amusingly puts it, Tails is asking the professor to "take his word for it, bro." The episode essentially repeats this structure until Torri has had enough and discreetly dismisses herself, leaving Tails' ego in shambles. Stretched over, say, a ten minute episode, this joke might have gotten old but it's more than enough to support a four-minute long YouTube thing. Also, I like Orbot spamming the screen with egotistic art of himself the one time Tails does present video evidence of his crazy claims about history. 

"TailsTube" is returning to its stated purpose here, of expanding on the franchise's backstory and recounting past events for anyone who might have missed them. "A Meeting of the Minds" drops spoilers for "Sonic Frontiers" and "Unleashed." It tells us who the Ancients were, why they came to Earth, what happened to them, and specifies their links to the Chao. The so-called Gaian race is detailed a little less but Orbot sarcastically brings up the climax of "Unleashed," where all the Gaia Temples Mega-Zord-ed into a giant robot to fight off the eldritch abomination living inside the planet. The Rule of Three would dictate that the episode would throw in a third example but I guess the "Sonic" franchise doesn't have any other Ancient Aliens/Indiana Jones shit in its background, at least not until whatever Flynn is building towards with the echidnas is finally revealed. (Hinted at by a diagram of the echidnan idol Knuckles found in the comics recently being on the blackboard behind Torri, alongside a bunch of other ancient artifacts from previous games.) Maybe, in the future, we'll find out that Wisps built the Great Wall of China or something. 

My main takeaway from this is twofold. First off, you're telling me that nobody noticed the Gaia Colossus forming and fighting off Dark Gaia at the end of "Unleashed?" The academic world not knowing about the "Frontiers" reveal makes sense, what with that game happening on a secluded island. That there was no news reports or shaky handheld camera footage of the kaiju fight that went down right before the planet put itself back together? I guess people where a bit preoccupied but you'd think Torri would not be so skeptical of Tails/Orbot mentioning a major global event. The academic world not knowing about the "Frontiers" reveal makes sense, what with that game happening on a secluded island... Though you're telling me that Sonic and Tails don't tell anyone about the shit they see on their adventures? Furthermore, Tails didn't think to bring any evidence of his wild claims along with him to his live interview with the historian? Even if Orbot hadn't show up, "You got a believe me, bro" does, in fact, seem to be the little fox's entire plan on this one. I know I'm probably (definitely) overthinking the joke here, as usual. You'd think Tails would have at least snapped more than one video with his little iPad accessory during these two adventures or whatever. 

Also, I like the photograph Orbot shows of Cubot dressing up as Sonic and Eggman laughing at it. Is the little robotic lackey going to be the constant thorn in Tails' side throughout this entire road trip? That might get old fast. Or maybe not, considering we have only gotten three or four "TailsTubes" in the past years. Previously, the first episode of the year drops sometime in the spring with the second coming around summer, so I guess we can expect episode 12 in July or August. I can't imagine Professor Victoria having that big of a role in any future games or comics. (Unless the frequent fan theory that Victoria is actually her first name, with her last name being Robotnik, is proven true.) However, it would be nice to see her again, if only because I'm curious about what her whole deal is. Tails says he wants to head somewhere more "low-key" next time. Not Angel Island or Mertopia, presumably. Aren't you glad I took three months to review all of these? [7/10]

TailsTube #10 – HAPPY NEW YEAR!

TailsTube #10 – HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Original Release Date: December 31st, 2024

Since the promotional machine for "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" already produced a Christmas special starring the blue dude with 'tude and his pals, I suppose the team behind "TailsTube" decided to dedicate the last episode of 2024 to that other December tradition: New Year's Eve. Now, normally, this is the part of the review where I would meander off-topic to discuss the history of New Year's traditions or try and figure out why Sonic and his weird mutant animal friends celebrate this holiday, in order to pad out the review add depth to my writing and enlighten the minds of the world. But I don't want to do that this time. Mainly, because New Years celebrations are the most basic of all calendar events and present in almost every culture throughout history. It seems to be a natural part of conscious existence to mark the end of one year and the start of the next, as both a time of reflection on what happened in the last spin around the sun and to hope for renewal and good luck on our next rotation. The only question that is truly raised by Tails ringing in the New Year is... I guess Sonic's version of Earth must use the same twelve month, January-to-December calendar we do over here in reality. This is slightly improbable, considering different human cultures can't agree on when the New Year starts and ends. The Archie comics provided Mobius with their own calendar, a common sense but of world-building. However, that's a small nit to pick, even by my fastidious standards. Though this episode does reference the Big Ball dropping in Times Square, begging the question of who the "Sonic" version of Dick Clark is and what his fursona might be.

This episode of "TailsTube" plays out in real time, a clock counting down to midnight as Tails talks directly to his streaming audience. This made me realize that every episode of "TailsTube" proceeds in this fashion, as a natural side-effect of mimicking the V-Tuber live-streaming format. I guess I simply never noticed before. As the New Year creeps closer, Tails decides to call up some of his friends. He asks them about their Resolutions for the new year, another human ritual I guess we just have to swallow exists in this world too. Amy, Rouge the Bat, Knuckles, and Shadow pop up on the mic for a few seconds before Sonic speeds into Tails' workshop to celebrate the calendar flipping over. A good time is had by all, except for Orbot, who momentarily pops up on camera before Tails hangs up on him. Because fuck that guy, amirite? 

From the beginning of writing about "TailsTube," I have felt the need to point out that most episodes are essentially advertisements for some new piece of "Sonic" media that Sega has coming out. Very hypocritically, that always makes me feel a little cheated. As if I signed up to be told a story and was getting a sales-pitch instead. This is despite the fact that I was raised on a drip-feed of commercials-posing-as-cartoons, continuing to have nostalgia and a built-in fondness for such programs. Including, obviously, the "Sonic the Hedgehog" series. What is every "Sonic" comic and cartoon if not an advertisement reminding you to run out and buy the "Sonic" video games? I suppose there is a balance to be had. Either way, I'll give Tyson Hesse and everyone else behind "TailsTube" lately: The more recent episodes have not felt so blatantly commercial in their goals. Episode 10 is mostly devoted to simply spending some time with this cast of cartoon characters that we've all grown too attached to. While you can debate the merits of feeling like, ya know, fictional characters and internet personalities are your friends – or, more accurately, the merits of content creators and companies deliberately chasing that reaction – but I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I like it. It's a fun way to waste four minutes. 

Within that four minutes, “TailsTubes” manages to squeeze in a surprising number of phone calls with his various pals and buddies. I've got to give some serious props to Cindy Robinson, for making Amy Rose actually sound like she's been caught off-guard at a party here. The patient little pause she does when Tails asks what her resolution is. Her short segment does a good job of showing the two sides of the character, as Amy very sweetly dedicates herself to helping people and friends more in the new year... While also grumbling at Sonic. Awww, she really is like the Team Mom, isn't she? Meanwhile, Karen Strassman as Rouge starts her conversation by calling Tails a “little man,” a choice of words that would definitely cause a certain reaction to some corners of the fandom. Strassman also shows some range, playing Rouge as her usual flirty, purring, constantly teasing self before Tails reprimands her for planning on stealing more jewels in the new year. Rouge gruffly tells him to “go to bed,” which is both funny and also one of the rare times we've seen Rouge get grumpy. Oh no, I like grumpy Rouge too! 

Moving on quickly, Tails' conversation with Knuckles reveals that the echidna is eager to explore the world beyond his island. After Sonic races back to Tails' workshop, the fox also expresses a desire to see more of his world. Now that is interesting. Knuckles' sense of duty forces him to maintain his vigil at the Master Emerald. Tails, meanwhile, has always lived in Sonic's shadow. (Not to be confused with Shadow, who has an amusingly curt appearance here.) I'm sure this is all merely a set-up for the theme of TailsTube's third “season,” which promises to be “On the Road.” However, I do like the idea of Tails and Knuckles being united in their desire to get out of their comfort zone a little. Might this be a chance for some world-building as well? I don't know, let's not get our hopes up. 

A reoccurring gag throughout this episode – maybe you would call it a “running” gag – is Sonic racing around the world to interrupt every phone call Tails makes, giving the hedgehog a steady presence throughout these four minutes despite technically only being in the room with Tails at the very end. As far as jokes go, it's a decent one. I like how he shows up on Angel Island, gasping for breath. While it would've been funnier if it simply went unexplained how Sonic managed to reached the floating island, Tails clarifies that he must've taken the Tornado. Him startling Knuckles is also a decent joke. But, hey, how does Sonic know where Rouge lives? I don't think the bat's place of permanent residence has ever come up before but Sonic is familiar enough with it that he can just zoom right on in. Not that I'm implying anything! 

The main element of “TailsTube” that draws the fans in, I believe, is the tendency for little in-jokes and references to be hidden in the background. Episode ten was a big one for this. While Tails is talking to Amy at her party, we see some familiar silhouettes behind her. Big and Cream both got invites. As did the Wolf Avatar from “Sonic Forces,” marking the first time Amy has answered his phone calls in a couple of years. Most excitedly, a very recognizable fluffy tail is seen walking behind our host here. Yes, this minor YouTube episode represents the first time Tangle the Lemur has appeared in a piece of moving visual Sega media. Discounting “Sonic: Speed Battle” anyway, which exists in mobile game limbo as far as canon goes. Might this mean that Tangle could appear on a future episode of “TailsTube?” I would safely say the odds of that are low. However, this episode finally revealed the name of the Purple-Haired Lady long speculated about as “Professor Victoria,” before she graduated to actually being interviewed in the next installment. So maybe Tangle's chances are better than I assume. 

Also, if you squint a little harder, you can see where something about the “Year of Shadow” has been written on Tails blackboard, hastily marked out, and replaced with the “Year of Sonic.” Awww, is somebody a bit jealous? Dude, the franchise is named after you, so maybe reel it in! Also also, the animation they cooked up of a Sonic sprite slowly lowering towards an Egg-Prison as a stand-in for the Big Ball was clever. Anyway, episode ten of “TailsTube” is probably not the most important or groundbreaking installment in a series that is already inessential even during its best moments. (I mean, I guess from technically giving Tangle her first animated appearance.) But I did find it to be awfully enjoyable. And isn't that what matters the most? My personal enjoyment being fulfilled? [7/10]

TailsTube #9 – Scary Story Spooktacular

TailsTube #9 – Scary Story Spooktacular 

Original Air Date: October 31st, 2024

Years ago, but not so many years ago that I wasn't already updating this fucking blog, I had an idea for a "Sonic the Hedgehog" fanfiction. I've mentioned before how I dabbled in fanfic way back in the day and have, simply for the fun of it, considered dipping my toes back in from time to time. Probably during one of my many ruminations over the lack of properly scary "Sonic" content, a glorious pun emerged in my brain: Tails from the Crypt. The idea of mashing up the "Sonic" cast and universe with the E.C. Comics approach of grisly horror and pun-cracking hosts seemed irresistible to me. I'm a long time fan of HBO's salacious television adaptation of those old comics, which became a minor pop culture fad in the nineties thanks to its lovably goofy animatronic Crypt Keeper. I love the horror anthology format, of getting a different and self-contained story every week. This has nothing to do with Sonic the Hedgehog, much less Miles "Tails" Prower... But it could. 

Though "Tales from the Crypt," "Vault of Horror," "The Haunt of Fear," and all of Entertaining Comics' other ghoulish titles were a scapegoat for juvenile delinquency back in the fifties, the formula for those comics actually upheld a stable moral viewpoint. The stories almost always involved someone committing a crime, a murder, a burglary, a betrayal, an infidelity. Through the course of the vividly illustrated tale, they would be gorily punished for their misdeeds, often via ghostly vengeance, ironic comeuppance, or zombies. The Crypt Keeper would take us to the back cover with some goofy puns, the impressionable reader getting their beastly thrills while also learning an evergreen message: Crime does not pay. What's done in the dark will come to the light. He who smelt it, dealt it. You get the idea. 

What if we applied this same approach to a collection of short "Sonic" ElseWorld tales? What if Rouge compromised whatever moral integrity she has left to grab an especially shiny jewel, only to fall victim to the horrible curse that comes with it? What if Eggman finally captured Sonic the Hedgehog and executed him, only to find life empty and meaningless without his archenemy to challenge him? Prompting the doctor to go full-Frankenstein, resurrecting the hedgehog as a grotesque combination of stitched-together flesh and robotics that ends up sealing the Eggman's doom? What if Shadow sought more power and awoke his inner Black Hands to a degree he couldn't control, turning into a hideous half-alien monstrosity? What if the Werehog or Lah the Ghost were actually scary? Shit like that. I'll probably never actually write this but it's a fun idea. 

I bring all of this up because, improbable as it seems, it would appear that someone at Sega also touched upon the catchiness of "Tails from the Crypt" as a pun. The ninth episode of "TailsTube" went up on October 31st of last year. Yes, this is another example of a "Sonic" Halloween special that I've long since sought. Subtitled "Scary Story Spooktactular," the episode sees Tails gathering his friends together for a seasonally appropriate ritual: Trying to scare each other with some ghostly stories around a camp fire. Rouge tells a creepified take on Shadow's origins, Knuckles gets existentially spooky in here, and the broadcast concludes with Tails delivering a ghost story relevant to the franchise's history. Tyson Hesse did the script for this one and he has Tails truly relishing his role as creepy M.C. of the evening, filling his dialogue with spoopy puns, which truly removes any doubt in my mind about whether "Tales from the Crypt" was on the writer's mind here. 

Unlike the episodes of "TailsTube" immediately before it, I don't get the impression that the "Scary Story Spooktactular" is meant to promote a new game or set of fortune telling cards. I suppose Rouge regaling us with a retelling of Shadow's creation is another reminder that "Sonic X Shadow Generations" was available by this point and you, the viewer, should go out and buy it. However, the main attraction of this episode returns "TailsTube" to its original purpose and lore-dumping about some aspect of this fictional universe. The second half of the episode is devoted to Tails telling a ghost story about a greedy king and his men pursuing a magical necklace inside a creepy temple. The king is so consumed by his greed that he doesn't noticed that his men are falling around him. Upon finally grabbing the object of his avarice, he is cursed to spend eternity as a spectre with a weirdly colorful tongue. Yes, boils and ghouls, you got it: This is the secret origin of King Boom Boo. 

I can't say I've personally ever wondered about where the altogether ooky "Sonic Adventure 2" boss came from. There have been a lot of "Sonic the Hedgehog" stages with a lot of boss battles, not all of which are that memorable. King Boom Boo could've been easily forgotten but the novelty of Knuckles doing some ghostbusting – and a memorable episode of "Sonic X," probably more importantly – has made this blue-lipped spectre with a Pride flag for a tongue an unfrequently reoccurring element of the series. King Boom Boo's previously unexplored origin was a bit of "Sonic" lore no one had elaborated upon previously. It also revolves around a minor enough character that I doubt Sega cared if Hesse gave him a proper backstory. In other words, this episode of "TalesTube" actually found a corner of the hedgehog-verse that some light could be shined on, fleshing out the world a tiny bit more. 

I'm not going to go so far as to say that the presentation of this ghost story, nor Rouge's reinvention of Shadow's birth, are scary. However, they are properly paced like a horror story, or perhaps a classic folktale, with a repetitive structure that builds towards a ghastly reveal. Moreover, the episode busts out some extremely fun artwork to accompany these segments. We actually see King Boom Boo's squat, already rather ghost-like human form as Tails explains the story. The Shadow segment has some eye-catching black-on-red visuals that are striking. Compared to the last few "TailsTubes" that felt truly tossed together and lazy, some identifiable work actually went into this episode. In fact, there's a new backdrop behind the gang too, featuring skeletons and Jack-o'-lanterns and creepy trees and strings of obscuring mist. The Halloween ambiance practically seeps out of the screen while watching this one. 

Y'all should know by now that nothing else is required for a program to win me over other than some October seasoning. However, I've noted in the past that "TailsTube" feels the most like an actual TV show when it focuses on the wacky banter and interplay between its cast members. This episode has a lot of that. Rouge's flirts with everyone, Knuckles' sheepishness about the supernatural comes up, Shadow grouses, Tails hams it up. Knuckles' attempt at a ghost story is a riff on the "Baby shoes: Never worn" bit that regularly goes viral on the Twittergrams, before the echidna makes the morbid one-liners into an example of his childish, idiotic logic. Ya know what all this shit reminds me of? The "Sonic Boom" vibes are heavy, baby, and I think I really missed them. Seeing these characters bounce off each other in an otherwise mundane setting with a fun gimmick is such a pleasant way to spend time with the "Sonic" gang. If this had been an episode of "Boom," we would've gotten some deranged ranting from Sticks but also this five minutes bit of YouTube animation probably looks as good as any episodes of that show, so let's call it even. 

How exactly Halloween exists in the "Sonic" world is up for debate. While the holiday is never mentioned by name, "trick or treat" is dropped alongside all the seasonal decorations, more than confirming its existence. This "TailsTube" also features a running gag of sorts about "jump scares." Those are low effort attempts to get a physical reaction out of a viewer by a mediocre horror movie or game, involving a quiet build-up and then a sudden and loud shock. In moderation, the jump scare is as valuable as any other tool in the storyteller's box but it tends to be abused by the hackiest of talents. The loudness of the jump scare sacrifices any mounting sense of dread or creepiness, those elements that make a horror movie a true classic. This has made the jump scare loathed by hardcore horror nerds, considered the lowest form of spookery by most. It would seem Shadow agrees, as he decisively refers to the term throughout this installment... Which raises the question of how the hell Shadow knows what a jump scare is. Are there middling horror flicks on Sonic's world? Who is the furry equivalent to Michael Chaves and, more over, what kind of cartoon animal would he be? 

Is this destined to be my favorite episode of "TailsTube?" Unless Sega celebrates Pride Month next week by having both Tangle and Whisper on the show and then having them French. Actually, if that came to pass, this would still probably be my favorite. Unless they were kissing in a pumpkin patch. Aside from me being an easy mark for this kind of spooky scary ambiance, this is a highly entertaining episode in its own right. Honestly, my only real complaint is that Sonic doesn't wolf-out for the hell of it. I guess that would conflict with "TailsTube's" canon status. (And would also require a new model to be rigged up or whatever.) I don't even like the Werehog that much but seems like a missed opportunity not to at least mention it! Anyway, this one gets my rubber stamp of approval. Happy Halloween, you guys. [7/10]

TailsTube #8: Finding Fortune with Amy

TailsTube #8: Finding Fortune with Amy

Original Release Date: August 15th, 2024

Since the days of antiquity, and likely before the advent of written history, mankind has attempted to find some deeper meaning in the random happenstance of the universe, in hopes of determining the future or communicating with a greater power. The ancient Babylonians cut the livers out of animals and considered its condition an omen from the gods. Greek oracles conveyed meaning from visions they believed came from the divine. The Norse cast runes, the Mayans scried on smoky mirrors, Native American tribes read meaning in animal bones, and the Chinese consulted their tea leaves. Interpretations of the random positions of the stars and planets and the unconscious brain-farts known as dreams led mankind to stumble backwards into actual sciences over the millennia. This esoteric art form is collectively known as divination and has been practiced by kings, mystics, quacks and con artists since time began. 

In the modern age, divination mostly survives through the commercial practice of fortune telling. In exchange for your hard-earned coin, a very serious and totally legitimate wizard will share with you prophecies of your future. This represents the inevitable meeting place between mankind's quest for meaning in a chaotic universe and the need to make a buck or two so as to keep the lights on. Via your date of birth, the lines on your hand, visions in a crystal ball, or the writings of the I-Ching, the so-called experts will supposedly divine your fate. When done to fleece grieving old ladies out of their life savings, this is evil. When done for fun and as the continuance of a semi-philosophical art form that stretches back centuries, it's an interesting anthropological phenomena that should be taken no more seriously than a Magic 8-Ball. An octopus doesn't know who will win the World Cup – an octopus understands soccer as well as I do, maybe slightly better – but it sure is interesting that human beings think it can, ya know? 

I swear this is related to the topic of Sonic the Hedgehog. Let me ramble a bit more. Sometime in the 1400s, a drunk Italian scribbled allegorical drawings on the back of some playing cards. They were used for nothing but gambling for three hundred years until 1781. That's when a drunk Frenchman saw some girls playing cards. He decided the illustrations on the back had major symbolic importance rooted in ancient Egyptian theology that he just made up. He called it "Tarot," a nonsense word he claimed was ancient Egyptian for "The Royal Road to Life." Further Europeans of debatable sobriety ran with the idea after that, formulating Tarot into an occultic method of cartomancy that roped every form of mystical gobbledygook that was circulating at the time into its meanings and techniques. Kabbalah, Theosophy, Aleister Crowley, Romani magik, the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn: You name it, somebody has linked it to Tarot. 

The Neo-Pagan revival of the late sixties repopularized the game in the west. Later writers increasingly connected the cards to Jungian and Campbellian archetypes, turning Tarot not just into a form of fortune telling but also a supposed tool for personal introspection and growth. Actual historians and skeptical inquirers have referred to the occultic embracing of Tarot as "the most successful propaganda campaign ever launched" and "an oscillation between the two poles of vulgar fortune telling and high magic; though the fence between them may have collapsed in places." The damage had been done, however, and today Tarot based cartomancy has spread all over the world as a quasi-magical belief and frequently fraudulent business. That's why late night TV in the 2000s was suddenly inundated with commercials starring an actress with a questionable Jamaican accent. 

If you are reading this blog, you're probably only familiar with Tarot as the reason the "House of the Dead" bosses are called that or as the title of a hilariously porny superhero comic. However, this rambling dissertation of mine all links back to Amy Rose, Sonic's wannabe girlfriend and the de-facto female lead of this entire franchise. Did you know that Amy Rose is a big fan of the magic powers of the Cards, a sign from her deck being what drove her to seek out Sonic in the first place? There was no way for us stupid Americans to know this back in 1993, as it was a tidbit left exclusive to the Japanese manual. (It would be funny if that was a purposeful choice to avoid the ire of the nineties Satanic Panic but it's more likely that localizers simply didn't gave a shit.) This was a usually overlooked aspect of her personality for many years, at least in Western media. 

As part of Ian Flynn's organized effort to align the "classic" continuity with the more recent games, Amy Rose casually practicing witchcraft has come up more often lately. Sonic Team has got so far with this idea lately that they released a physical edition of Amy's actual "fortune cards" that you could buy and presumably predict the future with, I guess. In order to promote the release of "Amy Rose's Fortune Card Deck" in August of 2024, an episode of "TailsTube" was assembled focused on Amy's interest in cartomancy.

Tails must have realized that “Between Two Hedgehogs” was a segment with a pretty short shelf life, because episode eight of TailsTube has the fox introducing another segment entirely. Abandoning the scientific method, Tails decides to platform superstition and pseudoscience by turning the show over entirely to Amy and her “fortune cards.” While Amy specifies that the cards do not give “spoilers” for the future, her prediction prove utterly accurate. She claims a negative interruption is forthcoming seconds before Eggman blasts through the roof and tries to take over the live stream. Despite Eggman dismissing such beliefs as a mishmash of idiocy, confirmation bias wins him over quickly after accurately foreseeing that the scientist has recently made a new family member, in the form of computer daughter Sage. Eggman is so convinced of the cards magic powers that he immediately decides he has better things to do than ruin Tails' livestream. Yay for witchcraft.

I've referred to “TailsTube” as basically a commercial before, a new episode churned out whenever has a new game or whatever to promote. Maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration sometimes but the label seems to fit episode eight extremely well. This is a four minute presentation created entirely with the purpose of making the viewer aware of the new product available at wherever books are sold. The script draws attention repeatedly to the exact name of this product. Rather than use a generic term like Tarot cards, Amy very specifically calls her deck by the copyrightable term “Fortune Cards.” Throughout the episode, she reveals that she's also written a handy-dandy guide book that can teach you, the viewer, how to divine the future through the random falling of these pieces of paper. Jeez, I bet that reads a lot like the guide book packaged with the actual deck of cards you buy! Though clearly pretty tongue-in-cheek, the script also not so subtly implies that cartomancy totally works too. Buy Amy's Fortune Card and you too can predict the future, dear children!

I'm not offended it or anything. A four minute little clip like this doesn't really required a response as strong as offense. However, if TailsTube is a series ostensibly designed to give new and old fans lore dumps, we don't learn much from this one. I guess Amy revealing that she's been a practicing mystic for years, that her interest in magic cards pushed her to meet Sonic, is the kind of stupid trivia that only the most devoted hedgehog heads would have been aware of before watching this. Yet it increasingly feels like “TailsTube,” as a series, exists merely to make fans tremble by mentioning a thing they know. Eggman says Sage's name and obliquely refers to her as his daughter here, which I guess is suppose to produce a reaction of some sort in us. It certainly didn't make me feel anything more than the extremely annoying, predictable final sequence, a very broad punchline.

But enough of me bitchin' and being an old man who hates everything. Well, the opening where Tails is doing a spooky, scary voice while holding a flashlight under his face in the dark is cute. Cindy Robinson and Colleen O'Shaughnessey have a nice chemistry as Amy and Tails. Ya know, these two have been voicing these characters for so long that it's easy for them to simply inhabit these roles. Also, from the little bit I know about Tarot, this seems to be a semi-respectable crash course on it. The cards being upside down and shit is acknowledged. Otherwise, I got nothing else to say about this one. Anyone else got the sudden need to consult the spirits for life advice? [5/10]

TailsTube #7: Between Two Hedgehogs

TailsTube #7: Between Two Hedgehogs 

Original Publication Date: April 25th, 2024

Sometime in 2008 or so, comedian and writer Scott Auckerman attempted to spin-off a sketch television series from his popular live show and later podcast, "Comedy Death-Ray." The pilot wasn't picked up by the network but Auckerman and co-creator B.J. Porter felt especially good about one segment in particular. It starred Zach Galifianakis, a stand-up comic beloved by the "alt comedy" crowd that was about to break into the mainstream in a big way with a starring role in the hit movie, "The Hangover." The sketch was called "Between Two Ferns" and it was a parody of the extremely awkward interviews celebrities have to do when promoting their new movies or whatever. The segment had intentionally shitty production values, invoking super low-budget, public access level interviews. The title was taken from the kitschy set dressing found in such environments. The joke was that big name guests would appear in this humiliatingly lo-fi setting while Galifianakis played a version of himself as an intensely awkward, unprofessional, and eccentric interviewer. The segment was a mockery of the falseness of Hollywood press tours and celebrity culture. 

2008 was a different time. YouTube was still only five years old and hadn't become the inescapable presence in our everyday life it is now. The real world and the internet were more separated and life had not gotten as aggressively surreal as it is now. The descendants of "Between Two Ferns," Auckerman's own "Comedy Bang! Bang!" and "The Eric Andre Show," would take essentially the same premise to even weirder and wackier levels. By now, the talk show format has been so thoroughly deconstructed and using uncomfortable awkwardness for humor is pretty played out. At the time though, "Between Two Ferns" was kind of a fresh idea. The segment, with Michael Cera as the first guest, was posted to the Funny Or Die website. It became a weirdly massive hit, being reborn as a web series. At its peak, "Between Two Ferns" was so popular that it got mega-stars like Brad Pitt and the then-sitting President of the United States, Barrack Obama, to appear on it. The program won Emmys and received a Netflix movie adaptation in 2019. 

I bring all of this up because I feel like "Between Two Ferns" has been a little forgotten in the 17 years since it debuted. It feels like a relic of the pre-COVID, pre-President Trump era when it was easier to laugh at the artificiality of celebrity culture. (One of the last episodes was Hilary Clinton making a stopover in her hilariously self-assured presidential campaign.) It doesn't help that Galifianakis has intentionally retreated from the spotlight a bit in recent years. There's a good chance that, when an episode of TailsTube was posted to YouTube last April that referenced "Between Two Ferns" in its title and format, that the children who mostly watch these little cartoons had no idea what the hell they were spoofing here. I guess somebody touched on the pun of hedges being kind of like ferns, and Tails standing between two hedgehogs during this episode, and decided to just run with it. This would certainly not be the first time a piece of "Sonic" media made a reference to something that is likely outside the reference pool of the franchise's target audience of children. 

Not that the seventh episode of "TailsTube" actually references or jokes about the program it took its title from, outside of having Tails sit on a simple backdrop between two hedges while he jointly interviews Sonic and Shadow. Yes, that's the setup for this one. Tails claims he's known so many hedgehogs over the years that he wants to do a reoccurring segment about interviewing them together. Imagine if a white guy did this with all his black friends. Anyway, Tails is forcing Shadow and Sonic into a room together and making them talk until they admit they actually don't utterly hate each others' guts. He wants his two hedgehog buddies to get along and be friends! Ain't that cute? Expectedly, the episode goes pear-shaped very quickly. Tails is doing team building exercises for his superhero friends now and broadcasting them over his internet V-Tuber/podcast show thing. Does that sound like riveting television to you? 

"Between Two Hedgehogs" is another installment of TailsTube that I can't find any writing credits for. I'm going to guess that this is not one of the Ian Flynn or Tyson Hesse written episode. Yeah, this is another "TailsTube" that doesn't do much besides summarize events we are already familiar with. It's a quick run-down of the history of Sonic and Shadow's rivalry. The two hedgehogs talk about how much they can't stand each other and then Tails will bring up some time they saved the world together, only for events to repeat themselves the next time Sonic met Shadow. The final boss battles of "Sonic Adventure 2" and "Sonic Heroes" are brought up. This is what you get when your corporate overlords treat characters as nothing but mascots that aren't allowed to grow or evolve pass their basic statuses! Anyway, the joke is that Tails is trying to force these two to compliment each other, which they only do begrudgingly before resuming their macho rivalry and running off to fight again. 

Earlier, I said this episode is like Tails doing a team building exercises for his employees. That was a lie. He's actually playing matchmaker here. If I took nothing away from these four minutes, it's that Sonic and Shadow are so gay for each other that the only way they can express it is through the very manly activity of racing and punching each other until someone cums first. I mean, wins the fight or whatever. I know "Sonic" is a franchise for children but the fan girls have been picking up on the blistering homoerotic tension between Sonic and Shadow from the very beginning. Sega is obviously aware of the ship and these four minutes are one long tease for that crowd. I mean, the guys are practically kissing on the thumbnail! 

For further examples of obvious ways this episode teases the Sonadow crowd: Shadow demands Sonic says things "to his face." Shadow claims that Sonic only repulses him before Tails points out the facts that they work together all the time. Shadow repeatedly attempts to assert his dominance while Sonic fires back with childish teasing and mockery. It feels like flirting, honestly. By the time Tails forces these two to say something nice about each other, both of these hedgehogs are acting like little tsunderes that would never admit they actually like you, baka, but whose actions clearly suggest otherwise. The episode concludes with Sonic baiting Shadow into "throwing down" with him while sensually calling him a "faker," clearly his pet name for his bro-friend here. They quickly leave the recording booth to "race across the island." Which feels a lot like code for them both being so horny for each other that they have to immediately have sex that moment or they will both die. 

I'm far from the first person to pick up on the gay subtext in any storyline about two dudes hating each other so much, they spend every minute thinking about this other guy and do everything in their life to be better than this person. The difference between a relationship like that and simply being in love with each other really isn't much, is it? The inevitable fisticuffs undeniably feel like an orgasmic physical interaction, the climax to all these manly dude-bro pissing contests. At what point does a lifelong manly rivalry cease to be about being the best around and start to be an elaborate form of foreplay? It's a trope onto itself at this point, causing me to believe that whoever put this "TailsTube" together knew exactly what they were doing. By now, we should all be familiar with the idea of a dude being so masculine that it excludes the presence of women from his life, resulting in obvious conclusions about his choice in romantic partners. And Sonic and Shadow are the two toughest, fastest, most powerful dudes on their planet, right? Sonic doesn't have time for Amy but spontaneously agrees to "race" Shadow here. I don't know, sounds kind of gay to me...

Roger Craig Smith definitely seems aware of this not-subtle subtext, his line reading veering very much towards the flirtatious. Kirk Thornton as Shadow seems to play things a little more straight – pun intended lol – but that's just cause Shadow needs Sonic to smack him around enough to force him out of the closet. A clip from "Sonic Prime" plays in the background, the first time that show was acknowledged within Sega-approved canon. Since the rivalry between the two hedgehogs was a big selling point behind that show, I'm guessing that was probably why this particular topic was chosen for a "TailsTube" at this time. Considering this is the shortest "TailsTube" yet, at only a little over four minutes, that makes this entire endeavor feel more like a elongated commercial than ever before. However, the hilariously queer tension between every interaction Sonic and Shadow have here actually does make it worth watching. 

One more thing: Sonic admit he finds Shadow's Chaos Control ability impressive. Yeah, I bet you do, big boy. That causes Shadow to bring up that time Sonic Chaos Controlled with a fake emerald during "Sonic Adventure 2." Excuse my ignorance if they've addressed this at some point in the last twenty-four years but: Has Sonic ever used that ability again? Was it ever explained how he could do that in the first place? Has that event been brought up any point since then? Or was that entire plot point merely a desperate way for Sonic Team to write themselves out of a corner they constructed in the first place? See, this is why video games aren't art. Anyway, funny episode, worth watching for the overwhelming mood of "no homo but..." that floats over all of it. [6/10]

TailsTube #6: Surprise Gift Exchange Bonanza

TailsTube #6: Surprise Gift Exchange Bonanza 

Original Release Date: December 21st, 2023

As 2023 came to a close, another holiday season was looming. Sega had already released their big "Sonic the Hedgehog" titles for that year. However, I guess they just like Christmas and decided to stick a holly-jolly "TailsTube" installment up on their YouTube. Of course, that raises the same question I ask any time there's a "Sonic the Hedgehog" holiday special: Why do they have Christmas? I guess since it's now established lore that Sonic and friends exist on a world alongside regular meat-sack humans, the question is largely answered. One can assume that human history progressed more or less the same in this alternate universe, winter festivals and the cultural dominance of Christianity coming about in the same way. "Sonic and the Secret Rings," by establishing that djinn exists, suggests Islam is part of this world too. Did Eggman's ancestor participate in the Crusades? The mind conjures image of human missionaries boating out to South Island and attempting to convert the local pagan populace of upright animals. Does that mean there are hardcore Christians among Sonic's population? Vanilla seems like the good church going type. Are there other adherents, faiths, and weird outgrowths? Hedgehog Mormons? Does ninja Espio practice Shinto beliefs? The question now is not if the new Pope will be Catholic but if he'll even be human. Is Jewish convert Knuckles circumcised or not? And how many times? 

Ah man, I love it when I get to do that! Speculating wildly off of the tiniest indications of a wider culture in this series! As much fun as it is to imagine how religions work on Sonic's world, episode six of "TailsTube" truly suggests there's no heaven, no religion too. Many of the signifiers of Christmas are present in this episode. Tails' workshop is decked out with holly, wreaths, colorful lights, and hot cocoa. References are made throughout to well-known carols and the central premise of the episode recalls a Secret Santa party. However, the word "Christmas" is never spoken. Only that much dreaded phrase "happy holidays." This is not a "Christmas party" but a "surprise gift exchange bonanza." The obvious reason for this – Sega does not want to align their mascots with any one religion or culture and the Japanese view Christmas as secular anyway – does not provide an in-universe explanation. So maybe Sonic and all his friends are godless heathens who only worship the hollow joys of materialism. It's a good thing that his progress isn't the only thing Sonic can save though...

But I digress. "TailsTube" episode six has Tails gathering a bunch of his friends into his workshop for a cozy celebration. Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy are there but Shadow, Rouge and Omega show up too. The gift exchanging ritual goes smoothly enough but clashing personalities means the party soon descends into chaos anyway. Everyone except Tails runs off, leaving the fox alone when Eggman decides to crash the party and engage in some Ho-Ho-Homicide. With no one to wreck, the doctor is disappointed and ends up sharing a nice little moment with his archenemy's little buddy. Awwww, isn't that nice? 

One of the nicest things about gift giving occasions is that it reflects the personalities of both people involved. Obviously, unless you are a totally selfish jerk-ass, you want your gift to reflect the intended's interests and passions. Inevitably though, what you get someone else shows your personality as well. You aren't truly giving that person a gift. You are getting a gift for the version of that person that exists in your head. Your gift shows what you think of that person too. This is something noticeable in this "TailsTube" broadcast. Knuckles gets Omega a rock, proving his humble roots but also appealing to the kill-droid's desire to smash stuff. Amy gets Sonic a heart-shaped picture frame with a photo of herself inside, reflecting her always naïve hope that Sonic holds her as dearly as she does him. Sonic gets Knuckles a gift certificate to a chili dog restaurant because he's a fast-paced guy on the run who doesn't have time to look at an Amazon wish list. He did put thought into it though and Knux ends up finding it a very practical gift. As for Rouge, she gives a gift to the person who is most important in her life: Herself. It's a simple setup for a story but it allows for many chances to consider who these characters are as people. 

That leads to another element of Christmas parties that this little five minute bit of animation gets right. Any time you are passing gifts around, it's going to be sweet. People are going to be touched that you thought of them, that you took some time and energy out of your day simply to get a little present for them. This message – about how, really, it is about the giving – is sweetly shown in the last third, when Tails defers Eggman's wrath by giving him a present, melting his evil heart. Stoic Shadow isn't immune to this either, in the easily predicted but still cute final scene. Ultimately, that's why we gather together as groups during the coldest, most desolate time of year to remind one another that we do care, that we are worthy of consideration to each other, that we are carried in other people's thoughts and hearts. To show that this sense of togetherness is always present, the script includes shout-outs to Jewel, the Restoration, and Sage as well. See, the "Sonic" family is wide and vast but always connected by wuv.

However, parties such as these can be awkward as fuck too. That is also nicely captured. Omega, myopic in his focus on destroying enemy Badniks, gifts Amy a crushed MotoBug, as he can't imagine anyone having any other interests. After receiving Amy's picture frame, Sonic immediately removes the photo of her and replaces it with that time him and Tails drew a face on Eggman's bald head. Amy's reaction, to bite her lip and let the botched romantic moment pass, very much feels like something out of a "Sonic Boom" episode. As does Eggman being embarrassed that he forgot a gift and quickly throwing something together for Tails. Once you throw in the unpredictable elements of a Secret Santa party – amusingly shown, in "Sonic" series tradition, as an on-screen slot machine winding down – such awkwardness is unavoidable. I like that both sides of that coin are present here. 

This episode also marks the first time Team Dark has appeared on "TailsTube." I'm so used to Shadow, Rouge, and Omega existing as characters I read about in comics and my brain providing voices for them, that it always throws me for a little loop when I remember Omega and Shadow sounds like that in canon. However, Rouge is always on-point. By which I mean, it is in her nature to flirt with absolutely everyone, all the time. She teases Knuckles throughout, calls him "handsome," and eventually leads him on a very easily predicted chase. The way she giggles mischievously as they ran off together makes this ritual feel like elaborate foreplay more than ever. However, the busty bat also flirts with Shadow, saying it would be a "crisis" if he wasn't there, in typically cooing manner. She can't help herself and that's why we love the slutty chiroptera so much. 

There's more unique backgrounds and art in this episode, what with the shots of everyone interacting with presents that they wouldn't normally be touching. Maybe that required the budget to be mixed around for this episode, explaining what the actual characters seem to move less than they ordinarily do in this show. It might just be me but it seemed their lips don't always move in time with their dialogue. Aww, shucks, what could be more perfect for the Christmas holiday than pinching a few pennies? Anyway, this is cute and I enjoyed it. As I type this, it's spring time in my corner of the world but I'll get ahead of the curb and go ahead and wish everyone an early Merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a crazy Kwanza, a tip top Tet, and a solemn and dignified Ramadan. [7/10]

TailsTube #5 (Remember When?)

TailsTube #5 (Remember When?)

Original Release Date: October 10th, 2023

Ahhh, nostalgia. Is there anything the internet loves more? Pornography, probably. Racism and witch-hunts too. Looking back at the past with a wistful fondness is indeed a favorite past time of people who spend entirely too much time looking at their phones or computers. You could even say that a misplaced nostalgia for an idealized past that never actually existed is part of why America is on the slippery slope towards full-blown fascism! Nevertheless, I think looking back on the cartoon shows or toys or breakfast cereals or whatever that you loved as a kid with a smile is generally a harmless activity. I mean, it is basically one of the main reasons this entire blog exists! "Sonic" fans tend to be highly nostalgic, whether they are old guys like me remembering the Genesis days and still holding a candle for Princess Sally or if they are a generation or two younger and recall "Sonic Adventure 2" or "Shadow the Hedgehog" blowing their minds. I simply can't wait until that cellphone game all about selling people alternate costumes and skins is a source of nostalgia for "Sonic" kids. It's gonna happen sooner than you think! 

Sega is absolutely aware of how fans of their trademark franchise are deeply sentimental. At this point, you could argue that nostalgia is one of the main driving forces of the series. Last year's big title, after all, was an expanded re-release of a game that came out when I was in college. The success of the live action movies seem heavily dependent upon "Sonic" being a thing that people think back on and smile about now. Every "Sonic" game made now includes a throwback or Easter egg nodding at some obscure bit of the series' history. I can't say I'm immune to this, as someone who loves that there's an entire "Classic" umbrella part of this universe now. This is seemingly the fate of all nerd properties, to franchises eating their own tail as they become increasingly devoted to celebrating their own existence in service of fans who only want to be reminded of simpler, happier times. Damn, there I go getting doomy again. Sorry about that. 

I bring up the existential emptiness of nostalgia as a concept because the fifth installment of "TailsTube" is seemingly devoted to looking back. It is called "Remember When?," which suggests an episode devoted to Sonic and friends recalling past adventures. It's kind of that. A line at the beginning places this episode, continuity-wise, shortly after the events of "Sonic Frontiers." Tails gets Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy physically in the studio with him. The discussion soon turns towards friends and enemies they haven't seen in a while. Namely, Mighty and Ray. A little later on, the discussion turns towards Fang the Hunter. That's pretty much it, though the final minutes of the broadcast has everyone announcing, without Tails getting any input, that they are about to have a cook-out. This continues what might be "TailsTube's" most important contribution to "Sonic" lore: That Sonic is a penniless mooch who is constantly stealing Tails' food. 

"Remember When??" is technically the start of the second "season" of "TailsTube," an essentially meaningless distinction when the program has as irregular a release schedule as this one. Writing credits for a lot of the newer episodes of this venture are tricky to find. However, if I was a betting man, I'd put money on this one emerging from Ian Flynn's pen. Mainly because "Remember When??" is, once again, an excuse to clarify details about the world and its timeline. Having previously dismissed the "Classic/Modern" divide, this episode outright confirms something I was speculating about not long ago. If the current iterations of Sonic and the gang are, indeed, the same ones that hung out with Mighty and Ray in the past... That means those guys are still out there, somewhere in the world, waiting to be re-introduced with flashy, updated designs whenever Sega deems them relevant again. The script is intentionally vague about where these two are now or what they might be up to. Amy simply says that they are always on adventures, aren't great about staying in contact, and they haven't heard from them in some time. They are among us though. That's nice. 

Flynn or whoever wrote this one goes further than that too. "Remember When??" references events from the IDW comics and the, at the time forthcoming, "Sonic Superstars." That continues to confirm that the "Sonic the Hedgehog" series is now a much more unified effort, all the games and the new comics taking place within one consistent world and timeline. No word on how "Sonic Prime," the movies, or the other cartoon shows relate to this, not yet anyway. This is an inevitable effect of Ian Flynn being given the keys to the Corvette, as it were. This is the same dude who took the tangled mess of plot points and unresolved story threads that was Archie "Sonic" and weaved it into some sort of coherent history. He's now doing the same thing with the different branches of the series, tying all the games and much of the spin-off media into one big tapestry. 

At least, as far as the English-language branch of the franchise is confirmed. "TailsTube #5" is the first of the series to not receive a Japanese dub. This has remained the case with all future episodes, "TailsTube" as a concern only being relevant to English-speaking fans, I guess. This is another clear indication that Japan doesn't actually care that much about "Sonic." See also: How the third movie, very successful in many global markets, basically flopped in the hedgehog's home country. No wonder they are letting us dorks here in God's country take over. It also makes me dread the very likely possible that Sega of Japan will eventually make some sweeping generalization or massive change that fucks up whatever master plan Ian and friends are cooking up here. You know it's gonna happen.  

Despite continuity concerns largely being the main topic at here, that's not what "TailsTube #5" is actually doing. Remember how I was bitching about how, sometimes, these YouTube shorts seem to be nothing more than quickie summaries for newer, less nerdy fans? That's more-or-less what "Remember When??" is doing. This is about quickly establishing who Mighty, Ray, and Fang are for anyone who might not know. The comics, "Sonic Mania" and "Sonic Mania Adventures" are all referenced. As is "Sega Sonic the Hedgehog," "Knuckles' Chaotix," and "Sonic the Fighter." However, the script here largely reads like a quick run-down of these guys' superpowers and personality points. Perhaps it hints at the main reason why Mighty and Ray haven't shown up in modern games still: They are basically just more powerful versions of Sonic and Tails. Mighty's gentle nature and Ray's sweetness are shouted out but the script mostly draws attention to their abilities and similarities to Sonic and Tails. Which doesn't make a great case for why these two should come back. 

Still, I guess it is nice that Sega considers Mighty and Ray worth mentioning. Since "TailsTube" is a quasi-promotional program, I don't know why so much time is spent on these two. Where they originally planned as DLC for "Superstars" before that underperformed? However, Fang the Hunter getting highlighted does make sense, considering his prominent role in that game. That leads to what is probably the main thing we all love to talk about when it comes to this guy: What the hell is his name and what even is he? "Nack the Weasel" is acknowledged as a past alias, as is "Fang the Sniper." (Which Amy amusingly mentions as being too violent.) This leads into the reveal is not a weasel, not a wolf, but a jerboa. The script does not clarify what the hell a jerboa is, for those who might know. I guess Sonic saying "One of those bouncy desert mouse things?" would be too meta. Akin to Sonic glancing at Knuckles and saying "You don't look like an egg-laying spiny anteater with a freakish four-headed peen!" 

It annoys me when characters are reduced to only a list of attributes or stats like this. I suppose that's unavoidable when characters are little more than gameplay features. However, I do like a certain feature of this episode. Actually putting Tails and the other three prongs of the team in a room together allows for a lot more banter between them. That leads to Knuckles complaining about Tails' computer thing, Sonic pointing out all the times the echidna has been tricked by Eggman, and Amy doing her best to police all the macho posturing. Shit like this is, in fact, what keeps me coming back to these videos! These personalities play off each other nicely. This cast is really good at bouncing dialogue back and forth. That makes this short little video more than a mere lore-dump. We actually learn some things about who these furry animals are and what their relationship with each other. We listen to real podcast – at least I do – more often because I like to hang out with the hosts than necessarily whatever the topic is. Bits like this in "TailsTube" captures that nicely. 

Also, I guess to signal that a new season has started, this episode features a new background. It's a look at Tails' lab, post-"Frontier." I'm sure the people who love to look into images like this for little Easter eggs found plenty. I like that the Tornado is front and center. Like all "TailsTube" so far, there's not much to this particular installment. I like the confirmation on Mighty and Ray's current status – whereabouts unknown but somewhere – and I like Sonic and Knuckles arguing like an old married couple. I guess I didn't feel like my five minutes were wasted. [6/10]