A Very Sonic Christmas

A Very Sonic Christmas

Original Release Date: December 11th, 2024

The last time I was reviewing some animated "Sonic the Hedgehog" media, the speedy hero and his friends were celebrating Halloween, the only good holiday. And every American boy and girl knows what season comes after the ghosts and ghouls are put away for another year. If you said Thanksgiving, you fell into my trap. As far as retail stores and marketing companies are concerned, Thanksgiving and all of November are mere blips on the radar on the way to consumerism's high holy day. Yeah, we are talking about the Christ Mass, the two thousand year old project to absorb various pagan winter festivals under the banner of "civilized" religion. Symbols like trees that remain green throughout the coldest and most frigid months, horned deities rising from the woods to reward the faithful and punish the wicked, worship of celestial bodies, and celebrating those we love and hold dear because we might freeze to death by next year have now lost their meaning even further. Instead of being about some guy from the Middle East that asked us to consider loving each other and redistributing wealth to the poor, these potent icons have now been thoroughly secularized in pursuit of the only true religion humanity has left: The hoarding of goods and resources, consumerism's hollow but relentless demand to always buy more, have more, need more. Ya see why I'd rather hang out with the skeletons and black cats?

But if Christmas is going to be meaningless and commercial, it should at least be weird and stupid too. The hybridizing of arcane symbols and corporate advertising has riddled the modern winter landscape with all sorts of oddities. The Yule Goat and Krampus have been replaced with far stranger modern figures. A green-furred thief, a dancing beagle, and diabetic polar bears are the friendly beasts of our modern yuletide. If there's any tradition of modern Christmas that I adore, it's weird seasonal specials and commercials that filter whatever iconography of the holiday they can exploit through their own temporary goals. This is how the Wacky Wall Crawlers and a home-intruding Michaelangelo have become reoccurring visitors during my personal winter celebrations. There's a tacky, surreal quality to these bygone bits of festive pop culture debris that I find endearing.

Because video games have been hot holiday gift items for many years now, we've had quite a few cross-breedings of wintery frivolity and various  interactive computer entertainment characters. Christmas came to Pac-Land in 1982 and Mario has been wearing a Santa Beard since at least 1989. All of which is to say that Sonic the Hedgehog is no stranger to the Christmas holiday. As I have chronicled multiple times in the past, there have been repeated attempts to associate Sega's fast blue hedgehog with the yearly December event. Robotnik has dressed up like Santa Claus and been visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve, while it has long been accepted that Sonic and friends look a-friggin'-dorable dressed up in wintery gear and dashing through the snow. We don't yet know what the hedgehog and his pals think of the Christ Child but the strictly secular version of the holiday seems to be a big favorite with them. 

At least in North America, the third "Sonic the Hedgehog" motion picture came out in theaters five days before December 25th. The movie itself had nothing to do with Christmas but "Sonic the Hedgehog 3's" proximity to the day led someone to a clever idea for an advertising tie-in. On the eleventh of the same month, Paramount Pictures uploaded a two minute long animated short to their various social media pages entitled "A Very Sonic Christmas." (There's at least four official uploads to YouTube and I'm sure it's also available on Instareel, FaceBake, TikCok, and X the Everything Website.) Some real money was out into this glorified commercial too. The "Sonic" screenwriter duo of Pat Casey and Josh Miller wrote it. All the big name celebrity voice actors reprised their roles and a spiffy, stop motion presentation brought the entire project to life. 

The story invokes "Sonic's Christmas Blast" a little too, though I don't know if that was deliberate so much as a parody of the exact same type of formulaic holiday special writing. In the bleak midwinter, Sonic is introducing Tails and Knuckles to all the earthly holiday traditions of Christmas. They put up a colorfully festooned tree, don their gay apparel, and leave out a treat for Jolly Ol' Saint Nicholas. Knuckles and Tails ask how the fat old elf can make his global trip in a single night. Presumably confirming the existence of Santa Claus as a factual canon in the movie-verse, Sonic uses a Warp Ring to pull the mythical figure right into the Wachowski's living room. This injures the jolly old elf's ankle, threatening the Christmas gift-giving spree. Luckily, a super-fast hero is right here, ready and willing to fill Santa's galoshes. One colorful montage later and Sonic has saved Christmas. 

Despite many of them being upwards of fifty years old at this point, the Rankin/Bass television specials like "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "A Year Without a Santa Claus" continue to run on TV every December. That means many people instantly associate the stodgy but charming stop-motion animation of these programs with the warm and fuzzy, nostalgic feelings they have for the holiday. Being such old, established parts of the December season with such a distinctive visual style also makes the Rankin/Bass specials an endless source of parody. Animator and filmmaker David H. Hess has come to specialize in riffing on this time-honored tradition. In 2005, he created an animated short in this style for "Saturday Night Live" entitled "Christmas Time for the Jews." Since then, he's directed a snarky hour long Christmas special starring Fred Savage, predictably grisly spoof "A Predator Holiday Special," and a stop-motion segment in a Captain Underpants Christmas installment. On the less ironic end of the spectrum, Hess has also made some similarly old-fashioned holiday fair starring Mickey Mouse. This extremely specific niche is one Hess seems happy to fill and he would do it again with "A Very Sonic Christmas." (He also worked on early YouTube hit "Dinosaur Office" and, uh, those annoying animations I used to see at Denny's at four o'clock in the morning, proving he doesn't only do Christmas stuff.) 

I don't think Hess' style looks that much like the old Rankin/Bass cartoons. The models are lankier with way bigger eyes and toothier months than the characters in "Jack Frost" or "The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold" or whatever. They represent a compromise between that style and the traditional live action "Sonic" movie designs. Quirks like giving Sonic a little strip of blue fur between his weird cyclops eye look good on the CGI models and a little awkward here. The result are models that mildly ugly, perhaps. Nevertheless, "A Very Sonic Christmas" does look cute and charming. It maintains the tactile quality that is, to me, the main ability of stop-motion animation. Santa – voiced by Adam Pally, so they didn't have to rope a new actor in or anything – looks cute, as goes the snow-covered back drop of a traditional “Sonic” level, with its loops and such. 

For something that runs exactly two minutes and seven seconds, “A Very Sonic Christmas” is entertaining. The ugly sweaters the trio wear are personalized to each of the characters: Sonic's has a chili dog on it, Knuckles has grapes, and Tails has a bi-plane. That was cute. Idris Elba's delivery of lines about Santana and Christmas being canceled made me chuckle. Ben Schwartz' take on Sonic are enthusiastic as ever. Shadow's cameo in the final minutes functions as a decent punchline, while reminding us that Shadow and Keanu Reeves are in this movie. Packed into a little over two minutes, when paired with the distinctive visual style, it makes for a clever and pleasant extended commercial. 

But “A Very Sonic Christmas” isn't only a two minute spot and quasi-short film. It's also a self-contained Christmas carol! Released concurrently with the little short was a song with the very similar title, “It's a Sonic Christmas,” credited to Ruwanga Samath. I don't know who that is by glancing at his Wikipedia page informs me he is a Sri Lanka-born music producer who seems to have mostly worked in making songs and incidental music for motion pictures. He worked on a Busta Rhymes' song for “Fast Five” and a bunch of songs for some Netflix things before this. As a holiday single, “It's a Sonic Christmas” is cute enough. It's catchy and jangly. I like the chant of “Go Sonic!/Go Tails!/Go Knuckles!” that makes up the chorus. Reminds me of a Shuki Levi theme song. We hear a bit of the song in the short but the entire version – which recaps the plot of the entire thing – is easily found. Will it find its way onto my Christmas playlist? Probably not, because I'm extremely picky about what Christmas music I deem tolerable. It will, however, find its way into my collection of songs with some connection to the “Sonic” franchise! 

As far as “Sonic” related Christmas specials go, I suppose “A Very Sonic Christmas” is the best. It's shorter and less embarrassing than “Sonic's Christmas Blast” and has more to do with the holiday than “Chao in Space,” which would otherwise win. I don't know if I liked it better than the holiday episode of “Sonic Mania Adventure” though. But it's cute. The amount of work put into essentially a longer commercial represents the kind of commitment to the bit that I can respect. I'm glad this thing and the corresponding song exists, even if I'm ultimately not sure it's worth the amount of words I've typed to talk about it. But that's true of everything! Merry Christmas to all – including those who celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, as a menorah and kinara are present in the background of this short – and to all a good night. [7/10]

Sonic Drone Home

Sonic Drone Home

Original Release Date: May 24th, 2022

For the Blu-Ray release of the first "Sonic the Hedgehog" movie, Paramount stuck a little short film on there that looks like it was probably animated in a week. "Around the World in 80 Seconds" was cute and inoffensive but, as far as bonus material goes, was no great contribution. This suggests to me the very low expectations the studio had for that first movie, no way of knowing that it would launch a burgeoning franchise. By the time the second "Sonic" movie hit disc, however, it was understood that these films could actually be big hits. The producers were well aware now of how passionate the "Hedgehog" fandom was... And how much money they could make by catering to them. When "Sonic 2" arrived on Blu-Ray, an entirely CGI short in the style of the movies was included. In other words, you were getting some actual extra "Sonic" content if you bought the movie on physical media. Marza Animation Planet, the "Night of the Werehog" studios, would produce and animate the six minute bonus film, further legitimizing the short in the eyes of hedgehog faithfuls. 

"Sonic Drone Home" sees Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles – clearly setting this after the second movie – running a little errand for their earthly foster parents. They have set off to return some books to the library for Maddie. They take a short-cut through a junk yard and come across an unexpected sight: One of Robotnik's egg-shaped Badnik drones has cobbled together a body from the scrap laying around the junk yard. The machine, which can talk for some reason, declares its intention to continue the objective its creator gave it. Try to take over the world! Sonic and the gang can't have that and a battle ensues. However, it turns out this "TrashBot" isn't such a bad guy after all...

Almost every time the topic comes up, I've bemoaned my frustration with the "Sonic" cinematic universe insisting on being a partially live action affair. Every movie and TV show has to include some tedious subplot about Sonic's adoptive human family. Rumors persist that there are actual fans of the Wachowskis and Wade Whipple out there but I refuse to believe it. Nobody is going to see these movies for the antics of a mad black woman being robbed of her dream wedding. James Marsden stans must exist, I guess, but are their numbers great enough to sway the box office in any meaningful way? The "Sonic the Hedgehog" movies should have been entirely animated and I will go to my grave believing this. I know why Paramount and the ten thousand associated production companies went this route. For whatever reason, a lot of adults outright refuse to go see cartoons in theaters, which is why those live action Disney remakes always make a billion dollars despite nobody actually liking them. But I know I'm right. It is a moral conviction deep within my soul. 

"Sonic Drone Home" is set within the continuity of the live action movies but is entirely animated. The environments are realistic, the physics resemble the real world, but it was all done in a computer. Meaning the short film gives us an idea of what an entirely animated version of these movies might look like. And, uh, it looks like a gunmetal video game. I would hope that a wholly animated "Sonic" flick would go nuts with the colors or some "Spider-Verse" style abstractions. "Sonic Drone Home" is meant to connect to the movies though, so everything looks like the real world. Honestly, really young viewers might not even pick up on everything being CGI, assuming the environments or props are real, like in the movies. Either way, "Drone Home" does give us some idea of what, say, a fully digital streaming or TV spin-off to the "Sonic"-CU could possibly look like. 

And it looks good! It doesn't look as good as the movies, as you'd expect from a DVD bonus feature produced for much less money than a feature film. The environments are convincing. Sometimes, when focusing on their teethy faces, Sonic or Knuckles look a little weird. However, the action scenes are very fast paced. A shot where Sonic speeds through a tunnel of junk, while lasers blast around him, is definitely the coolest moment in these six minutes. The adversarial robot isn't the most creative design. The way it blends a crane with a small car is probably what you'd see in your mind when someone writes the words "junk yard robot." I do like the red visor on the Egg Drone become an eye though. As the short reaches its conclusion, we get more shots of Sonic spin-dashing through the air which don't look that sharp. Mostly though, it's fine. Marza knows what they are doing. 

As the "Sonic the Hedgehog" movies have evolved, the focus on action has definitely increased. The latest installment goes full shonen fighting anime at the end. However, I think humor is still seen as the primary objective of this franchise. If these movies came out during the days of video stores – and they weren't places in the "Family" or Kids section for some reason – I imagine they'd probably be placed in "Comedy" before "Action." This approach is evident in "Sonic Drone Home." The short does not end with an epic battle between good and mildly annoying evil. Instead, a bolo'd Sonic implores TrashBot to define himself outside of the programming Robotnik has given him. Turns out, this cobbled together contraption considers itself a poet. That evolves in a subverted direction – his poetry is bad and he still sees it as a means to world dominance – but it definitely feels more "Looney Tunes" than "Dragon Ball." 

As in the motion pictures, another main source of humor here is Ben Schwartz's version of Sonic being a pop culture obsessed snarker and bantering with Tails and Knuckles. Early in the short, the blue hedgehog breaks the fourth wall and narrates directly to the audience. Tails' notices this and asks what's up, Sonic explaining that's what people in movies do. Which suggest a certain degree of self-awareness about, ya know, being a fictional character, proudly continuing a trend started by "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" and continued by "Sonic Boom." The gag truly pays off when Knuckles decides to speak his own inner monologue, which run counter to everything Sonic wants him to do. (Also, Tails' line about "just being happy to be included" made me chuckle. That's such a Tails thing to say!) I also like the gag of Knuckles considering Maddie's library books "sacred tomes" that must be protected. Haha, his strict warrior code of honor is so out of step with the modern world! What a delight! 

However, the second Knuckles opens his mouth, you probably notice something about "Sonic Drone Home." The echidna sure doesn't sound right. The money people were willing to cut Idris Elba a big enough check to get him to add his voice to "The Wade Whipple Show." However, a six minute bonus feature was deemed too unimportant to give a big movie star like Elba enough money to warrant him standing in a recording booth for a few minutes. Honestly, that is not especially surprising. If a "Sonic's Green Hills Hijinks" or whatever started airing on Nickelodeon tomorrow, I wouldn't expect Elba to voice Knuckles there either. The part is passed on to prolific voice actor Fred Tatasciore. Tatasciore has played many growling monsters and big beefy dudes, probably best known as the go-to voice for the Hulk in a lot of Marvel cartoons for years now. Which makes him a logical enough choice to play Knuckles, especially the honor-obsessed cinematic version. 

However, Tatasciore doesn't truly attempt to imitate Elba's particular accent. The result is distracting, something more akin to a generic tough guy voice coming out of Knuckles' mouth. While Elba not participating in "Sonic Drone Home" makes sense, Colleen O'Shaughnessy was also passed over for the part of Tails. O'Shaughnessy is no Hollywood A-lister, a humble voice actor herself, making her absence much harder to explain. Was she busy with something else? Did the money people try to low-ball her? Is she even aware of this short? Whatever the reason, Alicyn Packard voices Tails instead. Packard does a passable impersonation of O'Shaughnessy, taking me a minute to realize it wasn't her. Ben Schwartz, however, definitely is voicing Sonic here, clearly willing to participate in whatever bit of ancillary marketing Paramount needs him to do. Movie Sonic sounding like Movie Sonic always has makes Movie Knuckles and Movie Tails noticeably sounding different all the more off-putting. I would like to think I'd be above such minor aesthetic changes as these but it truly did hamper my enjoyment of "Drone Home."

Maybe two of the four principal characters sounding wrong is more noticeable because, otherwise, "Sonic Drone Home" is right in line with the tone and delivery of the movies. The script is from the same duo that has written all the films, Patrick Casey and Josh "Worm" Miller. Yes, the esteemed writers of "National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze," "Hey, Stop Stabbing Me!," "Gamebox 1.0," "Transylmania," "Golan the Insatiable," and – their most important prior credit – the Monstergeddon series on SomethingAwful.com have truly redefined themselves as the "Sonic" guys. This is probably why Sonic is making pop culture references and the robot wants to write crappy poetry, a predecessor to ChatGPT's feeble attempts to replicate human creativity. The short is, thus far, the sole directorial credit of David Nelson. Most of his credits are as a visual effects supervisor – aside from the "Sonic" movies, he's worked on "Aquaman," "Fury Road," "Jumanji," and the "Happy Feet" duo – which does further the feeling that this short was a quickly assembled effort. He makes sure the film mostly looks fine though. 

At the end of the six minutes it took me to watch "Sonic Drone Home," what was my main take away? I kind of like TrashBot. The squares over at the Sonic Wiki insist the character is called "Unit." IMDb refers to it as just "Drone." Knuckles calls him as "TrashBot" at the end, so that's what I'm going with. Aaron Landon – mostly known for video game and audiobook credits – gives the machine a fitting nerdy voice. That the robot is pulled between wanting to conquer the world and chase the creative spirit in his mechanical heart is a good gag. At the end, Tails asks if he can adopt the robot, suggesting the character could appear again. Maybe he could be Movie Tails' equivalent to TailsPup or something. Not that I expect anyone but the most hardcore fans to remember this short exists but it's a cute idea. 

Granted, I don't know why Robotnik would program this one drone to have freedom of choice and individuality. The rest of his Egg Drones and Badniks clearly do not have that. But we might be reaching the point where I'm thinking too hard about this. As far as a six minute bonus feature goes, "Sonic Drone Home" is perfectly serviceable and amusing enough for the little amount of time you're asked to invest in it. That I actually kind of want to see TrashBot come back suggests the writers punched above their weight class a bit. Next time Paramount does one of these, they should really make sure Knuckles and Tails sound right though... [7/10]

Around the World in 80 Seconds

Around the World in 80 Seconds

Original Release Date: March 31st, 2020

This may come as no surprise to most of you but I am, in addition to everything else I collect, a big fan of physical media for movies and television. Part of this is probably simply inertia. I grew up during a time when owning a film on VHS and, a little later, DVD was the only guaranteed way to watch something whenever you wanted to. Similarly, I love the idea of having a library of books, comics, movies, and albums that I can share with people whenever I want. Makes me feel like an archivist of obscure knowledge or some shit. Truthfully, I have always regarded the rise of streaming services with some skepticism. At least as a replacement for a personal collection or a video store. The idea that something can disappear from a service at any time seems like a bad deal to me. As does the Amazon Prime model of being charged a rental price every time you want to see something. I guess my dad being a paranoid anti-goverment nut job type ingrained in me a healthy distrust of corporations. The idea of Netflix CEOs or whatever deciding what I need to watch for me, limiting my choices to whatever they currently have the rights to, makes me uncomfortable. I thought this was America, where I could watch a weird Crispin Glover movie made in Utah in the early nineties whenever I wanted, whether it's on Prime or not! You can have my DVD of Lucio Fulci's "Perversion Story" when you pry it from my cold, dead hands! 

The decline of the physical media industry – pushed almost exclusively by Silicon Valley capitalist douche-bros favoring streaming and not by actual customer demand – means we are loosing parts of our history. Not only movies and shows that have slipped through the streaming cracks. One of the benefits of DVD over VHS was the ability to pack it full of all sorts of extra content. Commentaries from filmmakers and actors, behind-the-scenes documentaries, retrospective interviews, galleries of production artwork or posters, collection of trailers and TV spots: All of these features added context to the film, making it more of a piece of art that exists in a specific time and place, giving insight into how and why it was made the way it was, and not merely a capitalistic product to be consumed and discarded. DVDs and Blu-Rays being forced into extinction means we are losing out on knowledge about why motion pictures matter as an art form. 

Am I rambling? I'm rambling, aren't I? My point is... I really miss when DVDs were a film school lesson in a box and not simply a physical record of the movie. I'll always be glad to have something on disc, over it existing on a nebulous server some where, but bonus content and special features were really, really fun. Artistically designed menus and hidden clips showed that someone enjoyed themselves assembling this package for you. That a human being left their fingerprint on this, that it was a gift from one soul to another. During the peak of the DVD boom, studios would slip exclusive content onto disc as an extra incentive to buy it. This usually took the form of behind-the-scenes media but, occasionally, it meant something like a clip from a related program, a short film made previously by the director, or a whole ass extra movie sometimes. Disney and Pixar pushed the idea of an animated short film, made strictly for the home video release, as a standard bonus for big budget cartoons. That's been one of the harder special feature traditions to kill off, I suppose because even numbers-obsessed Wall Street types recognize such extensions as a way to keep a "brand" alive in consumers' brains. 

The bonus, exclusive short film was such a popular idea for Disney that many other animation studios followed their lead. DreamWorks started to do it too. Now, it's not uncommon to see any notable animated family film including a similar bonus on its physical release. Which brings us to the topic of today's meandering review: When 2020's "Sonic the Hedgehog" movie was released in disc, it came packaged with a short, fully animated film entitled "Around the World in 80 Seconds." (Sometimes listed as "Sonic the Hedgehog – Around the World in 80 Secs," I guess to remove any confusion about what this is.) The two minute long short is presented as an entry from Movie-Verse Sonic's personal diary, discussing his trip around the world and sightseeing at various globally recognizable attractions, all within the span of a commercial break. On account of being done like marker doodles in the margins of a notebook, "Around the World in 80 Seconds" is also the sole traditionally animated entry into the Sonic Cinematic Universe, at least as of this writing. 

On a narrative level, "Around the World in 80 Seconds" does not present us with much to talk about. In the typically quippy manner that we've come to expect from Ben Schwartz' Sonic, he narrates traveling across the globe and stopping at a handful of notable sights. He breezes through L.A., New York, London, Paris, and Sydney. (Without stopping to sing a song, I'm afraid to say.) He zips around the Arches National Park, Chichén Itzá, the Great Pyramids, and gives momentary shout-outs to whole countries like India and Japan. What this short does provide us with, however, is a little more insight into this version of Sonic's mind. Schwartz' Sonic is obsessed with pop culture, having grown up an orphan on Earth and absorbed knowledge of the wider world through movies, TV, and comics. This is why he visits parts of the globe that are highly publicized in the media. He considers Broadway a much bigger attraction than the Louvre or the rain forest of Cameroon because lots more movies have been made about stage plays than museums or jungles. When running around Egypt, he references the Bangles' "Walk Like an Egyptian," another indicator of how pop culture has shaped this Sonic's vision of the world much more than actual history. 

And as a nerd fixated on this kind of shit, I can relate to that. I'll be lying if, when I travelled to Manhattan, "King Kong" wasn't one of the main reasons I went to see the Empire State Building. Honestly, we are lucky that Sonic visits Japan in this short without referencing "Godzilla" or his favorite anime. (Which begs the question... What is this version of Sonic's favorite anime? He has to have one!) Instead, we simply get a silly joke about cherry blossoms and a slip second homage to some of the classic Sega game art. As someone who enjoys Schwartz' take on Sonic, as a lonely kid who fills the hole in his heart with nonsense, I did enjoy these little insights into his psyche. Most of them are merely excuses for simple bits of world play but Schwartz delivers each one with a proper amount of enthusiasm. He's a pro and his performances as Sonic, even in tossed-off pieces of supplementary material such as this, is always worthwhile. 

As I mentioned earlier – at least until Paramount gets a good idea and realizes what fans really want – this two minute short remains the only fully animated piece of media connected to the live action movies. In order to replicate the look of doodles made in a composition notebook, the animation is pretty limited. It's strictly black and white, with a simple, sketchy quality to the artwork. What's funny about this approach is it gives us a Movie-Verse Sonic who looks a lot like Classic Sega Sonic. This provides the short with some real novelty, especially when it results in Sonic interacting with landmarks like Randy's Donuts or Delicate Arch. Obviously, locations like this were chosen because they mirror the sort of level designs from the Genesis era games. This is presumably why Sonic spindashes over the Great Pyramids and races around the Arc d'Triumphant. It's cute to look at, is what I'm saying. 

Being so brief, there's not much else to say about "Around the World in 80 Seconds." Schwartz gets some mildly amusing zingers in. The animation is cute, if simple. Perhaps it will educate some children about other corners of the world, which is nice. At least one Letterboxd review complains that this contradicts the canon of the movie, since it seems to imply that Sonic never left Green Hills. I'm all for nerdy pedantry but you might be expecting too much from a tiny short included as a bonus in the DVD if that's your main takeaway here. Can we not assume that this is a little comic Sonic drew himself in order to amuse himself, imagining what a trip around the world might be like? Let's use our imagination, shall we? Anyway, this is cute. I'm glad it exists. "Around the World in 80 Seconds" is not a great contribution to "Sonic" lore nor an astounding achievement in art. But I like it as a sweet little time waster. That's all you need sometimes. [6/10]

REVIEW: Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024)

I was fourteen years old when “Sonic Adventure 2” came out. This means I was right in the target demographic to find Shadow the Hedgehog appealing. In retrospect, it's tricky to overlook how calculated a character Shadow was. The “Sonic the Hedgehog” fandom was already full of original characters that were barely anymore than different colored versions of Sonic. This was an official character with almost the exact same gimmick... Except he was also an edgy antihero with a tragic backstory and a plethora of superpowers. In other words, Shadow the Hedgehog felt a lot like a cheesy original character except he was one hundred percent official. Ashamedly, this strategy worked exactly as planned. Shadow immediately became the second most popular character in the franchise, launching a hundred other O.C.s. When Sega gave him his own game, allowing him to shoot a gun and ride around on a motorcycle, it almost felt like self-parody. 

I wasn't above being caught by this. I too loved Shadow when he first debuted. However, at some point, I woke up to the blatant corporate manipulation at play here and turned on the character. However, Shadow has now been an established part of the “Sonic” universe for over two decades. I've long since made my peace with the character. I would go so far as to call myself a fan of Shadow the Hedgehog, when he's written well. However, how would the character be integrated into the cinematic “Sonic the Hedgehog” universe? That was the question on my mind as I sat down to watch “Sonic the Hedgehog 3,” somehow the third big budget theatrical adaptation of the beloved series. The latest sequel, and Shadow's much-hyped debut, has been well received by fans. What would I, an ever-shrewd old man, think of this?

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles' peaceful lives with the Wachowski is interrupted again when G.U.N. specifically recruits the furry alien heroes. A black hedgehog from the same world as Sonic, but far more powerful, is on a rampage in Tokyo. Kept on ice by G.U.N. for fifty years, this Shadow has a grudge against the organization. He proves too powerful for Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles to defeat on their own. This leads them to forming an uneasy alliance with their greatest enemy, Dr. Robotnik. The new team soon are led to the secret base of Dr. Gerald Robotnik, the villain's grandfather and the scientist who studied Shadow fifty years ago. He recruits his grandson and Shadow into a plot to activate the Eclipse Cannon, a planet killing weapon he designed. Sonic races to stop villains new and old, the fight quickly getting personal. 

To utilize the inevitable pun, “Sonic the Hedgehog 3's” script hits the ground running. Within the opening minutes, we are being presented with Shadow's back story. Not long after that, Sonic and his friends are already dueling against the new threat. By the half-way point, we've already had alliance switches and betrayals and dramatic revelations, heroes teaming up with villains, villains teaming up with villains, and then breaking apart again. The movie breathlessly races from one plot point, and accompanying set piece, to the next. MacGuffins come and go, heroes chasing after access cards and the Master Emerald. The script looks like it's going to shove in the “Sonic Adventure 2” plot point of G.U.N. chasing Sonic before going in a wholly different direction, which then set-up dramatic heist and confrontations between the good guys. “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” rarely slows down, trying to squeeze as much into its 110 minute run time as possible. I guess this is what happens when you're attempting to tell a blockbuster worthy script but keep it within the runtime restraints of a traditional kid's flick.

Part of why “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” feels stuffed to the brims has to do with a problem that is often encountered in this franchise: There's a lot of characters here. In the returning column, we have Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Tom Wachowski, Maddie, Robotnik, Agent Stone, plus the Olive Garden guy and cameos for Wade Whipple, Maddie's sister, and the undercover G.U.N. Agent she nearly married in the last movie. To this already considerable cast, the film adds Shadow, Gerald Robotnik, Maria via the power of flashbacks, and Krysten Ritter as a new antagonistic G.U.N. commander. If the studio is going to pay recognizable actors like James Marsden and Ritter to be in the movie, it better give them things to do too. All of this must co-exist alongside the story of Shadow and Maria that the fans are truly here to see, as well as new additions these adaptations always feel the need to make. 

Part of why Hollywood struggled so long to adapt video games is because of the wildly different structural needs of both mediums. This has mostly been resolved by movies and games becoming a lot more like each other. The first two “Sonic” movies mostly invented their own narratives, drawing from the extensive back stories of the games, which probably was the best approach to take. “Sonic 3,” meanwhile, is the first movie to truly be adapted one of the game's plots, directly pulling a lot of ideas from “Sonic Adventure 2.” That doesn't mean only Shadow's backstory, as I expected. In the middle section of the film, both the good guys and villains seek access cards, the kind of fetch quest you'd fully expect from a video game. The sequel goes so far as to include the gravity switching gimmick that was so prominent in “Adventure 2's” later levels. One gets the impression that this is the movie Jeff Fowler and his team have really been wanting to make all along, rather than grafting bits and pieces of established “Sonic” elements on traditional kid movie set-ups. 

Fidelity to the source material is a lot less important to me than honoring the characters as we know them. The “Sonic” cinematic universe has increasingly revolved around the idea of family. Sonic finding his new family with the Wachowski defined the first movie, while the second was about him learning responsibility when faced with a sidekick that looked up to him and an equally powerful rival. Family continues to be a heavily touted theme, the script emphasizing Sonic's connection to Tom and how it compares to Shadow being treated his whole life as a science experiment. Robotnik ends up aligning with Gerald largely because his similar want for a bloodline. However, that is secondary to the theme the movie flatly states again and again: “Making good decisions,” as Tom puts it, especially when the world constantly tries to break your heart with its overwhelming awfulness. In other words: Shadow and Sonic both have great power but only one of them has learned great responsibility from a father figure. 

While this is the kind of easily grasped themes and ideas you'd expect from a kid's movie, repeated enough times for the little ones to pick up on it, I do think “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” actually pays proper tribute to its emotional center. The sequel is seriously invested in Shadow the Hedgehog, particularly how the loss of Maria weighs on him. A surprising amount of time is devoted to establishing Shadow and Maria's relationship, via lengthy flashbacks. Though hassled with the franchise's continued obvious soundtrack picks – why is a scene in the seventies featuring a Traveling Wilburies song? – these moments are genuinely adorable. When Maria is inevitably killed, the pain Shadow feels is sincere. As sarcastic as these films get, the emotional stakes remain one hundred percent serious. I didn't expect a “Sonic the Hedgehog” movie to feature a touching depiction of overcoming grief and learning to live beyond that heartache but here we are. 

When it was announced Keanu Reeves was cast as the voice of Shadow the Hedgehog, people got excited. This struck me as a little odd. I know Keanu is a beloved pop culture icon these days and I love the guy too. He's not truly a voice actor though, “Toy Story 4” aside. Much like Idris Elba as Knuckles, I can definitely feel some of that awkwardness coming through Reeves' performance. However, Keanu manages to find the heart of the character before the film is over. Ben Schwartz' take on Sonic is well established by now, the actor even getting a chance to stretch his dramatic legs a bit in this installment. I do wish Elba as Knuckles and Colleen O'Shaughnessey weren't increasingly sidelined by the story though, another side effect of the film having so many characters in it.

Following “Sonic the Hedgehog 2,” Jim Carrey announced his retirement and the character's fate in that film seemed potentially final, should the star really not come back. Well, Carrey loves money enough to return for part three, as both Robotnik and his grandfather. This means we get a double-dose of Carrey's manic comedy. The make-up effects that transform him into the 100 year old Gerald are good. In general, the illusion of one actor playing two characters that often interact is pulled off successfully. While Carrey's clownery is amusing, there are multiple moments when his buffoonery becomes difficult to sanction. A dance sequence among security laser or the increasingly nutty finale feel like moments when the star's chaotic energy take over the movie, to its detriment. Robotnik also gets a genuine character arc and I'm not sure Carrey is able to pull it off in-between all his extended mugging. 

Another reason “Sonic 3” feels a little overstuffed is because it has to make room for its human co-stars. Tom and Maddie get a sequence devoted to themselves, in which they sneak into a G.U.N. building in London. It is an inessential sequence, to say the least. Ritter, a decent actress, is given very little to work with as Rockwell. She's simply another obstacle for the heroes to run around. In general, the tension between what the fans most want to see – Sonic and his friends doing stuff – and the need for these films to be live action family-friendly comedy continue to make these unsteady affairs. Except for Lee Majdoub's agent Stone, whose role as Robotnik's loyal sidekick has expanded naturally into a full-on homoerotic will-they-or-won't-they? Majdoub and Carrey's banter continues to be a highlight of these movies.

My continued suspicion that these films would be a lot better if they were entirely animated is furthered by the last act. That's when “Sonic 3” becomes a colorfully directed action flick, the CGI hedgehogs blasting around the world and into outer space with enough verve to outclass some recent, bigger budget superhero flicks. The film also makes sure to get a prominent song on the soundtrack, once again suggesting that Fowler knew exactly what kind of fan service he had to include. I have a lot less investment in “Sonic Adventure 2's” plot than most but it was nice to see a “Sonic” movie truly push the limits of what its hero can do on-screen.

That evident desire to give people exactly what they want continues into the inevitable sequel baiting mid-credits scene. The “Sonic the Hedgehog” movies continue to exist in a bizarre space between special effects driven spectacles and goofy kid movies full of wacky comedy. The compromise agreed upon to make these movies possible continue to stick out badly. If I had seen this during the peak of my teenage Shadow fever, I probably would have loved it. “Sonic the hedgehog 3” feels like a movie primarily made for those people. The older I get, the more ambivalence I have towards franchises existing primarily to appease fans and activate nostalgia-driven dopamine rushes... From a simple factor of loyalty to the source material and on-screen flash, “Sonic 3” is easily the best entry in the series. How I'll feel about it in the future remains to be seen. But at least it beat the "Lion King" prequel at the box office... [7/10]

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3 TRAILER...

The first "Sonic the Hedgehog" movie ended with a hopeful teaser for a sequel. There is another universe, I imagine, were Paramount didn't listen to the fan outrage that followed the disasterous first trailer. The movie subsequently flopped and Tails' mid-credits cameo became nothing but another overly optimistic sequel hook for a would-be franchise that died after one failed installment. In the immediate aftermath of "Harry Potter," "Lord of the Rings," and the Marvel Cinematic Universe becoming cultural phenomenon, we saw so many examples of this. 

That's not what happened. Instead, Paramount cracked the whips on the poor CGI animators and special effects team, Sonic got redesigned at the last minute, and the first movie became a hit. This created a precedent. "Sonic the Hedgehog" was an actual film series now. Which meant, when "Sonic the Hedgehog 2" ended by revealing Shadow the Hedgehog existed in this cinematic iteration of this world, it was expected to actually pay off in a future film. 

That time is nearly upon us. After many months of fans endlessly badgering the production company for any sort of peek at the new sequel, the first full trailer for "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" has been unleashed upon the world. We now have our first look at what Sonic's third cinematic adventure might entail, what Keanu Reeves as Shadow sounds like, and what weird alterations Jeff Fowler's third hedgehog fest will make to the source material. 

I naturally have some thoughts on this matter. Before any images came out, I was already deeply skeptical of "Sonic the Hedgehog 3." Even if I liked the first two movies well enough, Paramount's entire endeavor plays fast and loose with all the things I actually care about in this series. I know why Fowler and his team chose to introduce Shadow the Hedgehog in the third movie. He's probably the second or third most popular character in the franchise. From a financial point of view, bringing Shadow in early makes all the sense in the world. From a storytelling perspective though? By the time Shadow debuted in the games, "Sonic" had already built up an elaborate and deeply inconsistent lore. Sonic had an established supporting cast, world, rules, and various relics floating around him. The movies have been extremely choosy about what elements from established material they've incorporated. Paramount's live action "Sonic" series remains a bizarre hybrid of stuff fans are actually interested in and stuff studio executives insist all modern kid movies should include. The point I'm making here: A "Sonic" universe that introduces Shadow before Angel Island? Before a rainbow of different colored Chaos Emeralds? Before Amy Rose and the Chaotix and Metal Sonic and Cucky? What kind of "Sonic" universe is that?! 

I guess we're going to find out soon enough. The trailer for "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" is now out, ahead of its December release date. It makes a few things clear: The plot of the third film will involve Shadow going on some sort of villainous rampage, forcing G.U.N. to actively recruit Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles to fight him. When the good guys still find themselves overwhelmed, Sonic goes a step further and makes an alliance with Robotnik. In this continuity, Gerald Robotnik is still alive and also being played by Jim Carrey. We only get a glimpse of Shadow's back story, though it seems heavily suggested that the death of Maria will still be the formative experience in the so-called Ultimate Life Form's backstory. 

Being the Negative Nancy, the Debbie Downer, I naturally am, let me start by pointing out the things I hate about the trailer. I know Sonic has worked directly with G.U.N. and other government organizations in the games, comics, and cartoons. I still dislike the idea of these guys being superheroes the not-so-secret government agency calls on to do stuff for them. Ya know, ever since they made Sonic's adoptive dad in this series a fucking cop, it's been hard to miss the creepy authoritarian undercurrents of the series. Sonic is free like the wind, baby. He's not a cop, a narc, a fed, a bootlicker, or a corporate stooge. I will not be unmoved on this point. 

Applying my political belly-aching to a movie for babies aside, the set-up the trailer hints out also gives me a clear vision of where this story will likely go. Assuming G.U.N. is still responsible for the death of Maria, what will heroic Sonic and friends' reaction to discovering that information will be? They'll probably be upset! They'll probably turn against the organization they've been hired by, teaming up with Shadow instead. As happens any time a good guy and a bad guy team up, Robotnik forming a truce with Sonic will precede a predictable and obvious betrayal. What form this double-cross will take, I can only guess. Some have already speculated that the shot in the trailer of Robotnik grabbing a quill from Sonic might foreshadow him building Metal Sonic. But some fans will always expect Metal Sonic to show up any minute. Regardless, the movie is going to end with Sonic and Shadow putting aside their differences to fight a greater enemy, the superpowered hedgehog learning a little lesson about friendship along the way. 

I'm sure all the backstory surrounding Shadow will be very different. I'll be surprised if the ARK appears in the film. Since Gerald is apparently alive, we already know things will be quite different. I don't actually give a shit about Shadow's lore. That has always been the least interesting part of him as a character. The probable outline I laid out above coming to pass, leading to a predictable and dull motion picture, is something I'm much more concerned about. 

Alright, so that's my main gripe with the trailer. What do I like about it? First and foremost, the action looks sweet. The second movie represented a serious step-up from the first in terms of its set pieces and combat sequences. Paramount clearly gave Fowler and everyone way more money to play with. Clearly, things will get bigger and better in part three. Shadow's superpowers are already leading to more elaborate action sequences. Fowler's background is in animation and, in the best moments of the "Sonic" movies, you feel that. Hopefully that will be even more evident in this installment. 

When it was announced that Keanu Reeves was going to voice Shadow the Hedgehog, I wasn't sure how to feel. My natural inclination is always to be slightly annoyed when a big celebrity is picked to voice a famous cartoon character over a veteran voice actor instead. Idris Elba as Knuckles has done okay and he got better over the course of his whole show. Reeves at least has a little experience voicing cartoons. It was still an odd suggestion to me. Reeves is a fine performer that I enjoy immensely. His physicality and screen presence have a lot more to do with that than his voice. The idea of Keanu voicing Shadow didn't strike me as the slam dunk to me that so many other fans seemed to think it was. 

Now, I've actually gotten to hear Reeves as Shadow, has my opinion changed any? The first line he delivers when he saunters up to the good guys, I wasn't too sure about. His delivery sounded flat. Which is, you young'uns might not know, something Keanu was often criticized for early in his career! However, as the trailer progresses, Reeves sounds better to me. If nothing else, it doesn't sound like he's going for laughs. Ben Schwartz' Sonic is always cracking jokes and Elba's Knuckles is an oblivious straight man. Reeves' Shadow, meanwhile, seems to be dead fucking serious. It's good to know the superstar didn't take on this voiceover gig in a kid's movie as an assignment he could half-ass it on. He's putting his whole ass into this iconic character. 

As for the rest of the trailer... The reveal that Gerald is alive caught many off-guard. However, the first half of the trailer has Tom Wachowski repeatedly point out to Sonic that he has a family now. A voiceover from Olive Garden Guy points out that Shadow doesn't have that family. Clearly, this "Fast & Furious"-ian concept will be the main theme in the sequel. Robotnik forming a bond with his long-lost grandfather makes more sense in that context. Will Shadow learn the true value of family over the course of this adventure? My magic 8-Ball says "Likely."

Many individuals in the "Sonic" fandom have already overturned and dug into the various images briefly seen in the trailer. This has lead to the typical amount of idle speculation. Many are already pointing out, with annoyance, that his live action "Sonic" trilogy is turning into a sausage-fest. Some have gone so far as to wonder if Amy Rose or Rouge might actually be in the movie, a big surprise being kept for us from now. The Metal Sonic theory above is something much along the same lines. Not to mention people in mascot-like Chao costumes always appeared briefly in the trailer. 

Personally, I think Amy or any other Sega characters cropping up in the movie is a long-shot. I expect the Chao cameo to be nothing more than an in-joke. People have always been seizing on a shot of Tom Wachowski laying on the floor, screaming. Some are wondering if Donut Lord is going to get killed off. Would I love it if the film finally cut out the unimportant human protagonist it's been saddled with? Yeah. Do I find it likely? Probably not, even if James Marden getting written out in some way does seem likely. 

Lastly, there's the factor of Jim Carrey coming back as Robotnik. After the second film, Carrey announced his retirement. Clearly, that didn't stick. Carrey's hyperactive take on Sonic's archenemy amuses me, even if I don't think it has much to do with the character as he usually exists. The actor's presence certainly added a lot of energy to the last two films, so I'm happy to have him back. The gut he's grown in isolation is another belated attempt to bring the movie version of Robotnik more in line with his rotund video game counterpart. Sure. Whatever. I'm glad the fan girls will have more bait for toxic yaoi fanfics about Robotnik and Agent Stone though. 

The special effects look nice. The action seems decent. Shadow does the "Akira" slide. I'm not made of stone. All that stuff is neat. However, I feel an increasing distance from Paramount's "Sonic" films, this sense that these movies and shows will never become the version of "Sonic the Hedgehog" I want them to be. I'm definitely going to see it. I'll probably give it an overly positive review that I then look back on a few months later and I think overdid it. Maybe the movie will really surprise me. Hope springs eternal. Ultimately, I suppose the short version of my response to the "Sonic 3" trailer is that... It's decent. Looks fun. Didn't blow my socks off. Didn't make me shit my pants in rage. Looks about what I expected, truth be told. Sorry to disappoint or underwhelm anyone expecting me to either explode in praise or rage on this one. 

Knuckles, Episode 1.06: What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno

Knuckles, Episode 1.06: What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno

Original Release Date: April 26th, 2024

In the final episode of "Knuckles," our favorite spiny anteater and Wade Whipple face their mutual enemies. Knuckles and Wade trick Agent Mason and Willoughby, before rescuing Wade's mom and sister. Next, it's time for Wade to match-up against his dad on the lanes in the final round of the bowling tournament. While this is going on, the Buyer takes to the streets of Reno in a fearsome mech with the ability to directly drain Knuckles' special energy. The weakened echidna comes crashing through the walls of the bowling alley, forcing Wade to stand up not just against his father but for the life of his best friend and mentor. 

I found myself annoyed with the cliffhanger of the previous episode of "Knuckles." One could assume that Wade hadn't actually betrayed his best friend. That he would find some way to turn the tables on the rogue G.U.N. agents. Yet Wade Whipple is such a feckless schlub of a protagonist – and Adam Pally is so much better at playing a defeated sad sack than a clever schemer – that it really felt like Wade might have sold Knux out. Of course, this is not the case. Yet the solution that is cooked up isn't really satisfying either. Turns out Knuckles had his ear piece in, listening to the conversation with the agents the whole time. I guess Wade and Knuckles figured this out off-screen or something? It feels like a cheat. Wade couldn't have slipped a note into Knuckles' hat or whatever? I guess this development is still less of a cheat than Knuckles using the big red mascot outfit briefly introduced last time as a decoy. Now how the hell did he lug that up there in time? Moments like that make me feel as if the writers of this show – John Whittington is credited with the screenplay of this one – don't respect our intelligence. 

As unbalanced as "Knuckles" approach to its characters has been, at least the show knows which side its bread is buttered on. The final episode does feature its fair share of action featuring Knuckles. The opening battle with the agents is pretty good, with lots of laser beams getting tossed around and people thrown through stuff. By this point, it's clear that Mason and Willoughby have personal grudges against Knuckles, explaining why they run into hand-to-hand combat with someone that outmatches them. If nothing else, this sequence does feature Knuckles actually using his gliding and hand spikes, two of his trademark abilities that have been mostly ignored in this show. The climax of the fight, involving two Warp Rings being opened right next to each other, was kind of cool too. 

However, there is a moment during this penthouse pummeling that really speaks to the entire problem with the "Knuckles" show. When Knuckles is wailing on the henchmen, something we've been waiting to see again since the first episode... The scene cuts away to Wade trying to save his mom and sister. What follows is another very dumb series of jokes about Wanda Whipple grossly overestimating her FBI training and bickering with her brother. It feels as if we're finally getting some satisfying pay-off when the show decides it's time for Stupid Whipple Tricks again. What Wade and Knuckles are doing never feel connected. Knuckles does the cool stuff, the Whipples do the schtick, but the two never truly meet. For what was supposed to be a buddy show between these mismatched characters, it feels very strange. 

This frustrating separation is present all throughout this last episode. Ya know, when I was in screenwriting class, I was taught that something a properly structured script should always try and do is integrate its main story line and any subplots by the finale. I don't think this is a rule you have to follow and there's plenty of great films that don't. However, it's also not a bad piece of advice. Generally leads to a more even-handed, smoothly flowing narrative. I kept waiting for Knuckles' final fight with the Buyer to connect with Wade and his dad's bowling match. Maybe the big scary mech smashes through the alley right as Wade is waiting for the last line to fall over. He'd rush to Knuckles' rescue, realizing that his bond with his new friend is more important than any lingering issues he has with his dad. Or maybe Pistol Pete would attempt to sell his boy out to the final boss, proving to Wade definitively that his father isn't someone he needs in his life. And maybe something Wade taught Knuckles would help him defeat this new adversary, really bringing everything together. 

Instead... These two plot threads simply never meet. Wade and Pete have their bowling match, with son defeating father. Knuckles is then tossed through the wall, causing our chubby hero to rush outside and help in the fight against the Buyer. After the big, action packed, special effects filled final fight, the show gets back to re-emphasizing what a – to burrow the term Little Susie uses to describe him – "turd bucket" Pistol Pete is. It's like a really hacky comedy about a clumsy man-child confronting his shitty dad on the bowling lanes and the "Knuckles the Echidna" solo movie are randomly cut together. 

The bowling match is played pretty straight, all things considered. Yeah, there are awkward jokes. Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel deliver some underwhelming banter as the sports commentators, those two truly having a thankless job. Pete and Wade snipe at each other before the younger Whipple rips his pants off, male stripper style. (Don't worry, he has bowling shirts on underneath.) Yet the typical sports movie melodrama – Pete scoring a spare and Wade waiting for the last pin on his throw to slowly tumble over – is fully intact. This is the kind of shit that turns me off so many sports movies. It's especially out of place in a show that has treated the sport of bowling so derisively up to now. And, ya know, what the fuck is any of this shit doing in a "Knuckles the Echidna" show... But I think we're past the point of asking that question being a fruitful practice. 

I spent a big chunk of the previous review complaining about how the Buyer was, thus far, not an especially compelling villain. Mostly because he's barely been in the fucking show. Obviously, the idea was for this guy to be the ominous Man Behind the Man, the one pulling the strings of the secondary villains that keep mucking things up for Knuckles and Wade. The Thanos to the show's Loki, who decides "Fine, I'll do it myself" after Mason and Willoughby are defeated. That should be a big deal, this super powerful baddie who presumably has more important fish to fry stepping up to get his hands dirty, going fist-to-fist with Knuckles. Yet this guy has been such a consistent non-entity, that it's hard to get too hyped about the final boss battle. We know almost nothing about the Buyer, not even his name! His motive never developed beyond wanting Knuckles' power for his own. He simply has no personality, being nothing but a blustering generic bad guy who doesn't do much. This is the first time he's even interacted with Knuckles! So much for a big, meaningful clash between hero and villain. Wade's shitty dad was a more prominent antagonist than this guy! 

So, yes, the Buyer – arrgh, why couldn't he have had an actual name?! – sucks. I didn't hate the climatic showdown though. The live action "Sonic" franchise focusing so much on the game cast gaining their abilities from a nebulous, mysterious "power" within them continues to strike me as odd. Yet Mr. Buyer's mech having the ability to drain this electric strength from Knuckles' body at least raises the stakes for the final fight. If he could do that all along, I don't know why Mr. Alonzo Buyer was depending on his two chumps to bring Knuckles in. Why he didn't just attack with his big smashy robot – Wade calls it a "metal onesie" and I’m going with that as the official name until something better is announced – to begin with. But that's a pretty standard action trope. 

Knuckles' defeat of Sir Alonzo Lancelot Buyer isn't the most satisfying duel in the world. After grabbing a hold of the Metal Onesie's whip/tentacle accessories, Knuckles just takes The Glow back. He boots up the Flames of Disaster and that's about it. Yeah, Knux saves the day by deploying a special ability that he's never mentioned before. Wade and Michael Bolton did all the foreshadowing for this particular super move. That's not the most suspenseful, dramatically sound pay-off... But, ya know, it's still a cool fight scene. The whippy waldo thingydos are dynamic weapons. Knuckles is given enough of a challenge that it's not a totally inert climax. This actually feels like something you'd expect to see in a "Knuckles" TV show. Could've been a lot better! But I didn't hate it. 

Wade does get involved in the final fight. As is all too often the case with the live action "Sonic" stuff, the human co-star mostly stands around and watches before contributing in some way. Wade trash-talks Sir Alonzo Lancelot Buyer, DDS long enough for Knuckles to recoup. His mom swings by in a bowling pin shaped go-cart – not set up by any previous scene, by the way – and hands Wade the rocket glove he previously failed to master in episode two. He then uses that to help Knux win the battle. (Though you get the impression that he probably could've handled it on his own, at that point.) This, I guess, is the real conclusion to Wade's character arc. The realization that his mom and sister, no matter how much they annoy him, have been here for him in a way his dad never was. Yet it is not, ya know, an elegant merging of these two story threads. 

The final shot of "What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno" before the credits roll is a freeze frame of Knuckles and Wade doing an enthusiastic high-five. This really clarifies that the entire show was something of a gag, not to be taken too seriously. I'm fine with comedy in the "Sonic" franchise. I'm a certified "Boom" defender, after all. Yet Paramount+'s "Knuckles" definitely felt too flippant overall. The aggressive wackiness of its first four episodes sour most of the attempts at sincerity in the last two. The first episode promises a story about Knuckles training Wade to be a warrior. Yet that's not really what we got, is it? Whipple completes his training in episode four, via a magical dream sequence, and spends the rest of the show bowling and putting his Daddy Issues to bed. Wade is still, at the end of the day, not a character I have any desire to spend more time with. Yet the scenes of him interacting with Knuckles were still the best moments of the show. It's so odd that their banter is sidelined so often to focus on – and I cannot stress the randomness of this enough – motherfucking bowling. 

Ultimately, it's hard to escape the impression that the "Knuckles" series was a rush job. Paramount's attempts to relaunch the "Transformers" film franchise, building a shared cinematic universe with their "G.I. Joe" series, flopped. (Though they are still trying, apparently.) The "Sonic" movie, meanwhile, was a surprise hit and its sequel was even bigger. A rush happened to prioritize this one I.P. over the other ones. The producers looked around at what they had easy access to, realized Adam Pally's phone probably wasn't ringing off the hook, and conceived of The Wade and Knuckles Show. The connection to the game was loose. Fusing the demands of a big budget streaming show, with enough special effects spectacle to draw more eyeballs to Paramount+, with lowbrow comedy and half-ass family drama never truly gelled. The excessively wacky splurging of the third and fourth episodes felt like desperate attempts by writers given very little to work with trying to cook up something interesting. I don't know if this speaks to regarding the source material with a certain degree of contempt or simply a lack of time and money. I can't say. But that's my theory. 

Despite the boatload of reservations I have about this show, I also didn't hate "Knuckles." Idris Elba's take on Knuckles still feels a little unfinished. A "why are you punching yourself?" joke in this episode struck me as out-of-character. Yet I still enjoyed spending time with him. Hell, as utterly unnecessary as I think elevating Wade Whipple to co-lead status was, I didn't even hate him either. The action is solid. Stockard Channing was an unexpected highlight. We got a little more expansion on the universe's mythos. Basically, a show that ends with Knuckles developing a love of Challah bread can't help but charm me a little. That musical was, ya know, bold. Some big swings were taken here. Is it "Knuckles?" I don't know. It's certainly not any version of "Knuckles" that I would've expected. But at least it wasn't six hours long. 

Initially, the "Knuckles" show was referred to as a mini-series. Suggesting this was a one-and-done deal. There's since been a little bit of chatter that a second season isn't impossible. Considering this show couldn't have been cheap to produce, and the complexities of your star being a CGI cartoon character, I'm not expecting a season two anytime soon. Considering Paramount's commitment to making "Sonic" an actual cinematic universe, and their continued quest to make Paramount+ successful, I think we probably will see another "Sonic"-adjacent streaming event. Maybe Tails and Crazy Carl can go looking for Bigfoot together. Or perhaps Shadow will latch onto Jojo as a Maria surrogate in the third movie, setting up a cross-country adventure to a sneaker designing contest. Or, ya know, maybe Paramount will get a fucking clue and just greenlight an animated series set in this universe, finally dispensing with the meat bags. Kind of doubt that though... 

In conclusion, "Knuckles" was a not entirely unsuccessful attempt to weave something entertaining out of unpromising ingredients. I don't know if the live action "Sonic" series will ever stop feeling like there's a serious disconnect in it, between what fans want to see and what the producers want this franchise to be. The second movie proved a smoother blending of these attitudes is possible. Hopefully the third movie will continue down that route. Because six episodes of Take the Echidna Bowling as another weird one-off in a multi-media franchise full of them is one thing. But I don't want it to be the future of the series. Anyway, "What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno" gets a [6/10]. The title probably refers to Knuckles and Wade definitely committing a crime in the final act, which they don't seem to face any consequences for. There's a post-credits scene but it's another dumb joke, not these two consulting a lawyer and Knuckles struggling to understand the legal definition of manslaughter. Just one missed opportunity after another with this show, let me tell you.