Sonic Underground, Episode 1.40: Virtual Danger

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.40: Virtual Danger

Original Air Date: October 22nd, 1999

To this day, there's still a lot of misinformation out there about "Sonic Underground's" series finale. It's a popular fan theory that the show was canceled abruptly. This seems to explain why "Sonic Underground" only ran forty episodes, as opposed to the sixty-plus run of the previous syndicated "Sonic" cartoon, and why it ends without a proper conclusion. Despite the urging of the theme song, the vow Sonic and his siblings made that their mother would be found would go unfulfilled. This rumor continues to circulate to this day, even on otherwise creditable sources like the Sonic News Network Wiki. Considering the show was under-publicized at the time of airing and never all that popular, an abrupt cancellation seems totally plausible. 

Yet this is not the truth. Ben Hurst, in a 2008 Q&A, explained that forty episodes is all that was ever planned. This raises the question of why DiC ended "Sonic Underground" without concluding the story. We don't know if they were hoping for a second season or if they just wanted the show to air forever in syndication in a continuous loop. Unless someone tracks down one of the bastards who produced this show for an interview someday, we'll probably never know. Either way, "Virtual Danger" – the fortieth and final episode – would not see the prophecy come to life. 

If not about the triplets being reunited with their mother and defeating Robotnik forever, what is "Virtual Danger" about? Playing video games. Sonic and Manic have become fixated on a VR game called Castle Conquest, which involves flying jets through a 3D castle. They form a rivalry with another player called Destructo. Sonia doesn't think this is a very productive use of their time but it actually prepares them to remote pilot the shipping convoys the Resistance has been ripping off. Their victory is short lived, as Sonic and Manic soon learn Destructo is actually Robotnik. The entire scenario has been an elaborate trap. It's up to Sonia and Cyrus to save their asses. 

In the nineties, as gaming rose from a niche hobby to a billion dollar industry, there were a lot of well-intentioned but hopelessly uninformed concern about the technology. Parents saw their kids obsessed with these noise-making boxes and got worried. This was mostly based in a boomer fear of new technology, with some good old fashion scapegoating and xenophobia thrown in. (It would actually take another generation before gaming started turning kids into psychopaths.) Out of this concern arose a number of hilariously out-of-touch stories about how gaming was bad. Low budget horror movies like "Brainscan" or "Arcade" and mediocre episodes of "The X-Files" and "Star Trek" pushed the narrative of "if you die in the game, you die in real life" into the mainstream. 

"Virtual Danger" has a lot in common with those types of stories. Eventually, Sonic and Manic are literally sucked into the game, where their lives are in danger. How this is possible isn't really explained and it's just one example of how this episode doesn't really understand gaming. Destructo can also send files to Sonic and Manic through the game, when it doesn't quite work that way. Mostly, you have to laugh at how a VR headset and some controllers create a completely immersive experience for Sonic and Manic. It's been almost twenty-two years since this cartoon aired and they still haven't figured that shit out. Lastly, with its single level and simple premise, "Castle Conquest" doesn't seem like it would be a very fun game. It's pretty obvious Ben Hurst and Pat Allee didn't play many games themselves.

Misunderstanding the technology the episode is ostensibly about is not the most vexing thing about "Virtual Danger." More annoying is that Robotnik once again displays his incompetence here. If he's able to play online with Sonic and Manic, and send them files, obviously he's hooked up to their computer. Why not just use that to track where they are? Wouldn't that be easier then sucking them into an elaborate simulated reality? Imagine that: Sonic and Manic are just playing their game when Robotnik swats their asses with SWATBots. Despite going to all the effort to create this technology, he doesn't use it very well. If Sonic and Manic are sucked into a perfect simulation that Robotnik controls, why doesn't he just immediately crush them? Why does he give them a chance to run, to fight back, to escape? How did this incompetent buffoon ever take over Mobius? 

There I go again, actually exploring the episode's premise in a meaningful way. Let's talk about what "Virutal Danger" does and not what it fails to do. Destructo has one of the worst designs in this show if hideous characters. He looks like the inbred offspring of some "Doom" demons. Somebody – I'm assuming Maurice LaMarche – gives him a Woody Allen-style voice, I guess to emphasize the stereotypical nerdy gamer image. There's a minor plot point about how Sonia can't just unplug the console, once Sonic and Manic are sucked in, which is an amusing and certainly coincidental parallel of "The Matrix." The action scenes, especially the moments devoted to Sonic piloting the shipping shuttles, are poorly animated. It's almost amazing how this show routinely took potentially exciting action scenes and rendered them boring via utterly lifeless animation. 

Since we are at the last episode, it's time to confront the last song of "Sonic Underground." After the mission, Manic lays down and takes a nap. He dreams a scenario where Sonic, Sonia, and Manic fly through "Castle Conquest" on hovering disc and play their instruments. Which means the surreal quality of the musical number is justifiable, for once. As for the song itself, it's not too annoying. "Don't Let Your Guard Down" has a kind of catchy synth backing track. The lyrics, which talk about standing up for yourself in a sometimes cruel world, are a smidge darker than this show's music usually is. Sonic's singing voice has gotten slightly less nasally and annoying as the show has gone on. Compared to some of the terrible fucking musical dreck "Underground" produced, this song is one of the better ones. At least we kind of went out in a high note, in that regard. 

As I said earlier, "Virtual Danger" provides nothing in the way of finality. Aside from her opening monologue, Queen Alena isn't even referenced in this episode. Neither are Sleet and Dingo, so maybe Robotnik finally fired/Roboticized their dumb-asses. Hurst does bring Cyrus back and even references the events of "Come Out Wherever You Are," so there's a little bit of continuity here. While it's hard to know for sure if anyone knew this would be the show's last installment, its final moments do feel a little significant. Sonic crashes some shipping convoys into Robotnik's tower, exploding it. He then proclaims "Game over!," before the show dramatically irises out. If they hadn't included Robotnik crying out in annoyance after his fortress blows up, you could almost believe the villain is killed in this scene. That's the closest "Virtual Danger" comes to a climactic moment for the whole show. 

Now that I think about it, doing an episode about how playing too many video games is bad for health for a show based on a video game is amusingly ironic. Did Sega know, or even care, that this cartoon they lent their mascot to was encouraging kids not to play games? But I suspect, once the licensing deal was done, Sega didn't pay much attention to "Sonic Underground." If I've learned anything from running this blog for five years, it's that Sega let overseas licensors do almost anything with their characters in the nineties. And let that – a complete lack of effort and oversight from people at the top – be the epitaph for "Sonic Underground." I'll save the rest of my closing thoughts on this program for next time and just say, for now, that "Virtual Danger" is indistinguishable from most of "Sonic Underground's" episodes: Sloppily written and animated in service of an unrelated premise, resulting in a grating and mediocre product. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.39: The Pendant

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.39: The Pendant

Original Air Date: October 21st, 1999 

As we head into the penultimate episode of "Sonic Underground," I really have to ask this question: What was with this show's obsession with neck jewelry? The magical medallions Sonic, Sonia, and Manic appear in every episode. That damnable hillbilly episode revolves around a pendant split in two, that needed to be reunited. "The Pendant," the thirty-ninth, also features a magical two-part necklace that must be reformed. The likely answer to this question is that the writers were strapped for time and unknowingly ripped each other off, out of desperation. Yet I think magical jewelry reappearing so much really does speak to this show's fixation on prophecies and other mystical woo-woo bullshit. Why think of something interesting when you can just have a wizard or glowing rock or necklace motivate the story?

There's lots of magical bullshit in this episode. Somehow the pollution from Robotropolis has revealed a previously undiscovered country, known as the Emerald Peninsula. Robotnik plans to Roboticize the natives. The locals are superstitious and believe in creatures called Boggins, magical imps that surrender treasure when caught. Sleet transforms Dingo into a boggin and uses him as bait to trap the population. Meanwhile, Sonic, Sonia, and Manic investigate, encountering an old fortune teller named Maeve. She points them towards a magical pendent, that allows Sonia to see anything she wishes. Yet it has the side effect of making her body fade away. The siblings must retrieve the second half of the pendent to save their sister. 

I'm sorry if the above plot synopsis reads like the deranged ramblings of a lunatic. "The Pendant" is a Ben Hurst/Pat Allee script and it is, to say the least, not their most coherent work. This episode is awash in half-formed nonsense. Why does the pendant make Sonia slowly fade away like a McFly sibling? The fortune teller is eventually revealed to be a fairy, that couldn't revert to her natural state without the pendants being reunited. Were the royal triplets just tricked into helping a chaotic neutral fae undo some curse that was afflicting her? Was Sonia's limbs becoming transparent just a ploy to insure they help her? If so, how come Maeve is never depicted as evil or even mischievous? What the fuck does any of this shit have to do with anything???

These are far from the only questions I have. If the Pendant can reveal anyone's location, why doesn't Sonia used it to find their mom? What does this entire business with the titular MacGuffin, introduced half-way through this episode, have to do with Robotnik roboticizing the locals? How come we never spend any time with the citizens of the Emerald Peninsula, that are so imperiled? In fact, the second half shifts entirely to Sonia's vanishing act, the script forgetting about the people who were being Roboticized. Were they ever rescued or did the Resistance just forget about them? Maeve, in her fairy form, grants Sonic a wish at the episode's end. Instead of using that wish to free the captured people, undo all Roboticization everywhere, bring their mom to them, or make Robotnik's empire collapse... He instead uses it to play a bizarre prank on the tyrant. 

What does the script take the time to set up this business with the boggins, heavily implied to be real with glowing eyes seen in bushes, and then do nothing with the idea? Why does Queen Alena's opening narration frame this episode's moral as "never forget that magic is real?" When magic is what endangers our heroes? When they have regularly interacted with magic throughout the entire series? Why is there a pink blur sprinting around the peninsula, that Maeve calls a Bog Beast? It shows up several times to help our heroes out of jams, the sloppiest of plot devices. Why does the final, baffling scene reveal this creature to have Robotnik's face? Why did this "Sonic" cartoon take a detour into Irish-inspired mythology and introduce leprechaun-like creatures that sound like hand puppets? WHHHHHHYYYYYY???

Trying to break down this script is giving me an aneurysm, so let's focus on it's more brass tacks narrative flaws. The episode's climax is a standoff between Sleet and Sonic. Sleet has retrieved the second half of the Pendant, needed to keep Sonia from fading away. (How he did this is never explained but let's not focus on that right now.) Sleet and Sonic trade tense dialogue as they try to bargain out a trade, which the canine immediately goes back on. Afterwards, Sonic and Manic kick everybody's asses with ease. Because of course they do. We've seen thirty-eight previous episodes where Sleet is brutally humiliated by his enemies. Why does this show expect to mine any tension out of this joker being a creditable threat? 

This is not the only time this episode completely undermines its own threat. We also find out the SWATBots have fucking off switches hidden in their arms. The original SWATBots were hardly enormous threats but I'm perpetually impressed with how much the "Underground" versions suck. This is just another example of how subpar this cartoon. The animation is stiff and awkward, which is displayed during a scene where Sonia rides Manic's hoverboard up into a ship. The character designs are dreadful. The natives of peninsula are more of the show's hideous bug/alien people. Maeve looks like a cross between "FernGully's" Magi Lune and a blue-skinned donkey and has a giant white flattop for some reason. No care was taken to insure any of this made any sense or didn't look like complete dogshit. 

As if "The Pendant" couldn't get more baffling, there's the matter of the episode's song. Considering the setting and premise, you'd expect this one to be an Irish jig or something, right? RiverDance was huge in the late nineties, would've fit right in. Instead, the song is shoved into the episode's early scenes... And it's a Yankee Doodle style patriotic showtune called "Lady Liberty." The song makes visual references to American iconography like the Statue of Liberty, Washington crossing the Delaware, the flag billowing in the wind, and The Spirit of '76. This is all in preparation for a holiday called Liberty Day, a bit of information that is not elaborated upon. Cyrus' watches the entire song – which is so bad and off-balance that it doesn't really qualify as music – with a frozen expression on his face. I know that was just the shitty animation but it made me laugh because I reacted the exact same way. You think everyone just watches in dumbfounded disbelief when Sonic and siblings randomly enact a music video? I like to think they do. 

Just when this show was starting to get a little better in its last third, it completely blindsided me with a real humdinger like this one. "The Pendant" is bad because it's poorly written, animated, and assembled but mostly because it's so actively defies any sort of logic. The only real response you can have to this is to ask why the fuck any of these things are happening, which is basically what I did. Sorry if that didn't make for a compelling review. Once again, this cartoon has defeated me. [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.36: Sleepers

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.36: Sleepers

Original Air Date: October 18th, 1999

During the entire run of "Sonic Underground," Ben Hurst and Pat Allee were trying to spin gold out of hay. As far as I can tell, they only came close this one time... "Sleepers" begins with Sonic, Sonia, and Manic observing a raid on a Robotropolis factory when suddenly the other Freedom Fighters are captured. Back at the base, Sonic is informed by Cyrus that this is the latest examples of Freedom Fighters being captured and Roboticized. That's because Robotnik has a new weapon in his arsenal: Sleepers, stealthy missiles powered by a rare mineral that produce a knock-out gas. The triplets see the Sleepers in effect first hand, when Manic is almost captured. They realize the best way to end this threat is to take out Robotnik's supply mine. 

"Sleepers" is an episode of "Sonic Underground" that feels a lot more like an episode of "SatAM." It's focused on the Freedom Fighters being on a deadly mission. The threat of Roboticization is focused on more, for the terrifying existential danger it is. Robotnik is the primary villain of the episode, with Sleet and Dingo barely appearing. (Dingo doesn't even have any dialogue here.) Queen Alena doesn't appear and there's no tacked-on moral. The focus is on strong storytelling, on underdog heroes fighting a guerilla war against a tyrant. In fact, I'm not convinced that Hurst didn't dust off an unused SatAM script and simply replace those characters with "Underground" characters. It's easy to see Sally, Tails, and Rotor in Sonia, Manic, and Cyrus' roles here. Sleet acts largely as a Snively-style toadie throughout this episode, which is quite different from his usual characterization. This is not a complaint. I'd rather have warmed over "SatAM" than scenes of Dingo being turned into a hotdog stand or extended sequences of characters being covered in muck. 

In fact, "Sleepers" even manages to invest its story with a degree of emotion. Sonic watches as two of his comrades are captured... And it really pisses him off. He takes the fight directly to Robotnik, largely without telling Sonia and Manic. As he's dropped into a room full of Roboticized former colleagues, Sonic ruefully mentions all their names. This is personal for him. When Robotnik locks him in a cell with a highly accurate laser beam, for the first time in this entire series you feel why these two characters hate each other so much. Robotnik sees his conquest of the planet as nothing but a game. Meanwhile, Sonic is losing friends out there. Why didn't a scene like this happen at the beginning of the series?  

This is not the only emotion inside "Sleepers." When Sonic, Sonia, Manic, and Cyrus sneak into Robotnik's base to destroy the Sleepers... Cyrus is reunited with his dad. Remembering their medallions have the ability to temporarily undo the mind control effects of Roboticization, displayed all the way back in episode two, the triplets return Cyrus's dad to normal for a few minutes. He tells them about the mines and gives them the plot device they'll need to get closer. Father and son have a tearful reunion before they have to go again, his father well aware that the effects of the medallions are temporary. Yes, for this one episode "Underground" used some continuity to add emotional pathos to its story. Holy shit, what was stopping the show from doing this all the time? 

Continuing to shock and amaze, this episode also has some pretty decent action scenes. When Sonic rages into Robotropolis, Sonia and Manic aren't far behind. We are welcomed to some standard scenes of the good guys wrecking SWATBots.... Except they don't suck. A SWATBot deploys a secret laser at Sonic, catching him off-guard and displaying that these machines aren't always total jokes. There's a pretty decent chase scene involving Sonia on her bike and Manic on his hover board. They even do what I'm pretty sure is an intentional homage to the "Akira" bike slide scene. There's even some humor afterwards, where Sonic and Sonia whip some ass inside a transport ship off-screen. Shockingly, this isn't a totally shitty joke and the above-average quality of the proceeding action scene even makes the humor here well earned.

Okay, the animation still isn't great. The first scene has another moment of Sonia doing that weird spinning cyclone move of her's, which I still hate. And, naturally, there is a musical number. However, even that is pretty well integrated. The song simply acts as a soundtrack for the sequence of the triplets rounding up the remaining Sleepers and destroying them. This is actually a pretty smart way to keep the story moving while still indulging DiC's absurd insistence on including a song in every episode. The song is a forgettable, vaguely-rockabilly-sounding ditty called "Have It All Again." It's another generic anthem about how Freedom Fighters rule, Robotnik drools, and someday the war will just be a memory. It's lame but is still far preferable to some hokey nonsense about the episode's forced-in moral. 

The only complaint I have about "Sleepers" is that it doesn't really have time for a proper climax. The episode made room for Sonic being angry and Cyrus being sad about his dad, which means the story revolves itself largely off-screen. Sonic taunts Robotnik while Sonia and Manic destroy the mines as quickly as possible. All of this happens in the final two minutes of the episode. However, I think that was the right decision. Allowing some breathing room for the characters' feelings is way more important than giving us another explosion. Though if the episode was five minutes longer, that wouldn't have hurt it.

Yes, holy shit, I can't believe it. I just said I wished an episode of "Sonic Underground" was longer. I don't know how Ben and Pat did it but, after 35 episodes of some of the worst cartoon shit I've ever willingly exposed myself to do, they managed to create a genuinely, unironically good episode of this show. I don't know how but maybe DiC actually gave them an extra weekend to polish a script for once. (Or maybe Ben really did reuse an old "SatAM" script, which honestly would explain so much.) "Sleepers" proves that "Underground" wasn't unsalvageable. That these characters and this story could've produced a good cartoon show, if everyone involved was allowed to bring their A-game. Or at least allowed to ignore most of the stupid shit that typically characterizes this show. [7/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.34: Sonia's Choice

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.34: Sonia's Choice

Original Air Date: October 14th, 1999

"Sonia's Choice" begins with the royal triplets running through the woods from a laser-spewing flying drone. They eventually defeat it and meet up with Trevor (last seen in "Harmony or Something") and a woman named Renee. Renee is from the country of Annes, where Robotnik is about to auction off a number of priceless relics from the hedgehog royal family. Sonic, Sonia, and Manic sneak in and avoid several traps to grab the goblet... But this, itself, is a trap. The floors were laced with highly traceable Mega Muck. Soon, Sonic and Manic are captured. Robotnik places them in Roboticizers on opposite ends of the city, with both machines programmed to activate at the same time. Sonia is forced to choose between which of her brothers to rescue.

"Sonia's Choice" takes its inspiration from Alan J. Paluka's grim 1982 drama, "Sophie's Choice." If you don't know, that's the tale of a Holocaust survivor recalling the time the Nazis forced her to choose which one of her children would live and which would die. Not exactly light-hearted viewing and a weird thing to see referenced in a shitty children's cartoon. Nevertheless, the idea of Sonia having to choose between her brothers is one rich with drama. Siblings (and parents too) don't like to admit this but they usually have a "favorite." Being forced to choose, to tactilely admit that one is loved over another, is a horrible predicament. And exactly the kind of sadistic shit you'd expect a villain like Robotnik to pull. Beyond that, it's just good writing. The protagonist is pulled between two hard decisions, with a time limit in place no less. Will our hero find a way to save both before it's too late?

Unfortunately, "Sonia's Choice" does almost nothing with this dynamite set-up. The actual "choice" part doesn't occur until the last third of the episode. This gives the episode no time at all to focus on Sonia's angst over the choice. There's no chance to show how she deliberates over choosing, to see how this horrible game weighs on her. The plot immediately switches into problem solving, which is not that compelling. That's because "Sonia's Choice" is no choice at all. She simply goes to one location while Renee goes to the other, rescuing both brothers. Essentially, Sonia is presented with a choice and finds a way not to make it. Which kind of undermines everything that's interesting about this premise in the first place! (By the way, Sonia personally rescues Sonic and sends Renee to save Manic, which seems to give us an answer to the question of which of her brothers she prefers.)

The episode actually goes even further to deflate any tension or dramatic potential. Sonia releases some sort of electric pulse, which shorts out the machines around Sonic and allows her to rescue him. Renee tries the same thing with Manic and it doesn't exactly work, leaving him stuck in a tube. That's when an aircraft outfitted with lasers swoops in, blasts away all of Robotnik's troops, and saves Manic. Queen Alena, despite appearing nowhere else in this episode, is immediately revealed to be behind the wheel. This is not the first time Ben Hurst has used a shitty deus ex machina to get his heroes out of a climatic jam but it might be the most egregious. The implication that the Queen is always watching out for her kids, ready to jump into action whenever she's needed, really keeps this show from being exciting. (And draws attention to the times she chooses not to get involved.) 

Worst yet, it's a totally unneeded plot device. Renee could have successfully saved Manic on her own. The episode presented a totally normal solution to its own problem. There was no need to have the Queen rush in and dramatically save the day. It's a contrivance introduced for no reason other than to remind the viewer that Queen Alena is constantly monitoring her children... Which just furthers the impression that the Queen doesn't actually want to raise her fucking kids. She just wants to play hero to them. She wants the brownie points from rescuing her kids, to further this image that she's an infallible superhero that's always there for them. But she doesn't put in the actual day-to-day work of being reliable. Hey, mom, where the fuck were you when Sonia was learning to ride her bike or when Manic was forced to steal in order to survive? It's very similar to Penders' fixation on Locke. What the fuck is with boomer "Sonic" writers idolizing emotionally distant and manipulative parents that care about their children in broad terms but can't be brother to actually parent them? 

Uh, sorry, I kind of went on a rant there. You know another thing that sucks about this episode? Most of it is devoted to a very underwhelming heist. There's a long scene of the triplets breaking into the museum, avoiding the various traps Robotnik has set up, and getting the treasure. It unfolds in a shockingly dull manner, with little in the way of humor or excitement. We already know that Robotnik wants Sonic and the others to grab the goblet, so trying to turn this foregone scenario into an exciting action set piece is a serious miscalculation. It seems the focus was on some very odd elements, like a scene of Sonic walking on the ceiling with his magnet shoes while Sonia and Manic dangle from a harness. Or the reptilian gargoyle-like sentries guarding the vault. 

Before we go, I've got to comment on two trademark elements of this show. First off, Sonic, Sonia, and Manic spend the first eight minutes of this episode smeared with mud for absolutely no reason at all. So there's that. Secondly, there's the required song. It's a solo from Sonia, hilariously inserted right after she learns Robotnik has forced her into a sadistic game. I know I've said in the past that Sonia's singing voice is the most tolerable one on the show. But the vocals here quickly become whiny and annoying. It doesn't help that the main refrain of the song is "why is it never easy for us?" Which makes the number feel even more like a spoiled rich girl (which we can't forget Sonia basically is) complaining about the petty inconveniences in her life. The very cheap, tinny sounding instrumentation of the sing also furthers this feeling. 

Anyway, there's two points to this review: First off, I loved ya, Ben, but you had some very flawed quirks as a writer. (And, I know, he would not claim this show as his best work anyway.) Secondly, I fucking hate Queen Alena. Only six of these left, thank god. [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.26: Wedding Bell Blues

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.26: Wedding Bell Blues

Original Air Date: October 4th, 1999

How's this for an episode premise? "Wedding Bell Blues" has Sonic, Sonia, and Manic in Robotropolis for ill-defined reasons when an announcement is broadcast all over the city: Robotnik is going to marry Queen Alena and become king. Even though the triplets realize this is a trap, they decide to sneak into the wedding just in case their mom actually shows up. They talk Bartleby into hiring them as the band. Soon afterwards, they discover that this is, of course, a trap. Robotnik's actual plan has been to adopt Sonia, making her the royal princess and him king somehow. 

We are heading into the last stretch of "Sonic Underground" episodes here – only ten left! – and it's evident that the writers were truly out-of-ideas... Actually, it's worst than that because this was originally intended to be the show's pilot. Nothing about "Wedding Bell Blues" makes any sense. The entire premise of the series is built upon nobody knowing where Queen Alena is. The idea of Robotnik randomly announcing he's marrying her, when her location is perpetually unknown, strains believable. The queen's opening narration assured us that there's nothing Robotnik wants more than to be king. But why? He's already ruler of Mobius. King is just a title at this point. If he wants it that bad, why doesn't he just change the rules and declare himself king? He has all the power!

This is far from the only thing about "Wedding Bell Blues" that makes no sense. At one point, Robotnik says this wedding – that he's only doing as a trap – is bankrupting him. Which really says a lot about Mobotropolis' worth. This seems to be an awkward excuse to bring Bartleby into the plot, as Robotnik squeezes the aristocracy for more funds, and thus get the triplets into the wedding. But there was easily a hundred, less convoluted ways to have our heroes sneak into this event. By the time Robotnik's scheme twists to involve him adopting Sonia, it's apparent that nobody cared if this actually made any sense. 

In fact, the episode is officially uncredited though the Sonic News Network wiki tells me this is a Ben Hurst and Pat Allee joint. If this really was their work, I wonder if they requested their names be taken off it? Because the story gets increasingly nonsensical as it goes along. At one pony, Manic literally stumbles upon a secret passage way. Not long afterwards, Dingo is transformed into a perfect looking chili dog cart – even though none of his other transformations were that good – to lure in Sonic. He's then morphed into a giant fly trap that is seemingly bigger on the inside than the outside, as Sonic is dropped into an endless gullet when swallowed. It all stinks of a writing team that was either hopelessly rushed or simply didn't care anymore. 

With no other options, "Wedding Bell Blues" degrades into crude slapstick. The episode seems to delight in showing us things we don't want to see. There's an extended sequence devoted to Robotnik being squeezed into a girdle, which does not go well for him. Later, Manic dresses in drag and gets throw into a dungeon cell, ostensibly in an attempt to impersonate his mom. Neither of these scenes have any effect on the plot, making you really wonder why they were included at all. At least the moment where Dingo is squeezed into a wedding gown does affect the story... Yet one really has to ask why this cartoon had to feature two separate incidents of crossdressing. 

I was completely numb to this episode's bullshit by the end but that didn't keep the conclusion from really confusing me. Just as Sonia is about to be crowned princess of Mobius, Queen Alena actually does show up. She waves the royal scepter around and assures everyone that she would never abandon her throne... Except she does! She did abandon the throne and that is, in fact, essential to the series' entire premise! Mostly, Queen Alena showing up to confuse everyone before immediately GTFOing again just makes her look like a deadbeat mom. I know, there's a prophecy and all that but the Queen's repeated habit of only showing herself when the plot absolutely insists upon it makes her feel like those one of those dads that only appear on birthdays and holidays. 

Despite clearly being a bad parent who doesn't actually care about her children, the show continues to assure us – via Sonic and company, who remain in awe of Alena – that she's a great person. The episode's song, "When Tomorrow Comes," is all about how much the kids look forward to being reunited with their parent. It's a totally forgettable song, heavy on the na nas and repeating the title. Sonia switches her keyboard to the harpsichord setting, to match the old-timey powdered wigs they are wearing in the scene, but that's about the only thing that sticks out. Lastly, the song's placement in the script really makes no sense. Sonic Underground, in disguise, are booked as the wedding's band. They start to perform... While no one is in the room. They then leave afterwards, to explore the castle. I guess they're trying not to blow their cover but it's definitely among the show's more egregious examples of inserting a song wherever.

Maybe it's just because my allergies medication has me really hungover as I write this review but this is an episode that truly left me annoyed, confused, and stymied. There's definitely been worst episodes of this show but I don't know if there's been one more slapdash in its narrative construction than this one. [3/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.22: Mummy Dearest

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.22: Mummy Dearest

Original Air Date: September 28th, 1999

Ben Hurst and Pat Allee continue to attempt to build some sort of continuity between "Sonic Underground" episodes with "Mummy Dearest." Cyrus, the traitor-turned-inventor from "Tangled Web," provides Sonic and his siblings with a magical laptop computer that can spy on Robotnik's control room somehow. They spot a book with the royal family seal on it inside. Sneaking inside while disguised as SWATBots, they grab the book. It points towards an ancient scroll in a desert pyramid, home to the hedgehog's ancient ancestor, Aman-Rapi. Said ancestor was supposedly a prophet, presumably the first person to write down the prophecy the entire show is about. They go on a wacky adventure across the desert, encountering enormous sand snakes, mummies, and many booby traps. 

"Sonic Underground" only seems to have two modes as a series: Either an episode has a thin wisp of a premise that is desperately stretched into a full twenty minutes or episodes are overstuffed with ideas, never focusing into a coherent whole. "Mummy Dearest" falls into the latter category. Cyrus building perfect recreations of the SWATBots, that the hedgehogs can crawl inside of and pilot, is a pretty good idea for an episode. There could've been a lot of suspense in a story devoted to Sonic and friends going undercover in Robotropolis, always trying to avoid detection. Instead, this comprises only a few minutes of "Mummy Dearest," at the beginning of the episode. The minute Robotnik walks into them, Sonic blows their cover by telling a dumb joke. Despite the SWATBot shells being described as "super strong," Manic's falls apart after stumbling over a wire. Also, the hollow robots are super light-weight, a detail which is never actually relevant. 

It's just another example of how weird this show is that it would spend so much time setting up this plot point, just to discard it for some wacky mummy shenanigans. Stranger yet, it does something similar a few minutes later. As soon as they enter the desert, which has purple sand for some reason, they're attacked by an enormous sand snake that burrows underground. Yes, it's yet another offspring of "Dune's" famous sandworms. An episode all about trying to avoid this massive threat, or how the triplets survive once they're swallowed by it, easily could've supported a whole script. Instead, it's another bit of world-building for "Sonic Underground's" version of Mobius, that will never be relevant ever again. 

We're about half-way through this episode when it finally arrives at its main point: Putting Sonic inside a goofy ancient Egypt-inspired scenario. (Sonic uses the word "Egypt" later, so I guess we can just assume that this region of Mobius is called that.) While I was worried this would be another excuse for the show to trade off lazy cultural stereotypes, "Mummy Dearest" puts a decidedly fantastic spin on things. The ancient pyramid is not made of sandstone and rock but is metallic and sci-if in nature. There are hieroglyphics on the wall, mummies and sarcophagi about, but it's more Luxor, Las Vegas than Luxor, Egypt. The closest thing to a crude caricature we get is Maurice LaMarche giving Hothep, the temple's guardian, a Boris Karloff-inspired voice. Half this show is just Maurice LaMarche impersonating Golden Age Hollywood celebs...

"Mummy Dearest" still manages to confuse and annoy me though. Throughout the episode, we learn that Sonic and his family are descended from the pharaohs of ancient Egypt. (Or whoever the Mobius version of those rulers were.) I feel like this raises a lot of questions the show is in no position to answer. We're never told how long ago this culture's glory days was but, if it's anything like Earth's version of Egypt, it was thousands of years ago. This means Alena's family has been ruling for literally centuries. It's so frustrating because this isn't actual back story or lore. It's just a vague hint, an impression of a vast history, that never actually means anything. The writers clearly didn't have time to think through the implications of this dumb plot point they just casually throw out. 

The truth is "Mummy Dearest" is another incredibly sloppy episode. As soon as Sonic and the gang head into the pyramid, it turns into a series of hugely overwhelming comedic action scenes. The booby traps of the pyramid provide various obstacles for our hedgehog hero to navigate around. There's a river full of snapping crocodiles, plumes of fire shooting out of the ground, and a room full of mummies. While "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" used the exact same set-up to reference the famous hazards from the video game, "Sonic Underground" just has Sonic bumble around these obstacles. His fear of water is mentioned with the alligators. He gets mildly singed by the fire. The mummies just start bowing and worshipping Sonic and his siblings the minute they realize who they are. This proceeds an even lazier writing choice, when the ghost of Sonic's identical ancestor – a plot point "AoStH" also did better – appears and magically freezes Sleet and Dingo and all the other bad guys. This is an almost literal deus ex machina, another indicator of how seriously strapped for time the writers must've been. 

Any answers we might've gotten to the questions this episode raises are dismissed by another noncommittal ending. After going through all this bullshit, the royal triplets finally get their hands on the scroll. Despite Sonia's claims to being the smart one, she fails to account for the molecular degradation of ancient papyrus when you expose it to light and air. The scroll crumbles to nothing the minute they remove it from the tube, any answers about the prophecy it might've contained lost forever. Instead, they are left with hieroglyph on the scroll container, which vaguely promises victory in the future. It's the same kind of bullshit this show always does: Waste our time by chasing after answers it never intends to give and insinuating that something will happen eventually. "Sonic Underground" is basically forty episodes of someone promising that "it'll get good soon." 

The dumbest part about that ending is... Sonic, Sonia, and Manic were literally communicating with the ghost of Aman-Rapi earlier. They could've just asked the guy some questions. Instead, Aman-Rapi requests to hear some music, which is the queue for this episode's musical number to begin. And, whoa momma, it's a rough one. In the most obvious pun imaginable, "Mummy Wrap" is a rap about the episode's ancient Egypt-influenced plot. This is a classic example of people who definitely shouldn't be rapping attempting the art form. The lyrics are clunky, to say the least, full of awkward rhymes and completely lacking any flow whatsoever. Worst yet is the backing track, a repetitive bit of stereotypical mummy movie music. The entire chorus is "we are Sonic/Sonic Underground," which is repeated every thirty seconds. It's painful, a real contender for the dubious title of "worst Sonic Underground song." It's so bad that I actually had to just mute it until it was over. I'm sorry, guys. I've got my limits. 

Oh yeah, this episode also features a scene of Sleet spraying Sonic and friends with some sort of fast-acting cement, which leaves them immobilized in a sticky, cobweb-like substance. Yet more evidence that someone working on this show had an extremely specific fetish. Anyway, you can see Ben Hurst and Pat Allee attempting to make something out of the nothing here. They clearly didn't have time to develop their good ideas while their general talent was obviously pulled down by the black hole-like force of this show's suckage. "Mummy Dearest" is another fiasco of an episode. [3/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.10: Come Out Wherever You Are

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.10: Come Out Wherever You Are

Original Air Date: September 10th, 1999

In "Come Out Wherever You Are," Sonic and his siblings have some important Freedom Fighter shit to do. Robotnik has built a bio-mechanical war ship called the Predator, specifically designed to track down living beings and roboticized them. The Underground has to sabotage it before it's too late... But Sonia has other things on her mind. She's been invited to a debutante ball by her once-flame Bartleby. Sonic and Manic think up a scheme to allow their sister to live her princess fantasy and save the world. 

"Come Out Wherever You Are" is another Ben Hurst/Pat Allee joint. It brings back Cyrus from "Tangled Webs," who has apparently graduated to the Resistance's "smart guy." Much like that episode, it also highly resembles "SatAM." The premise – Robotnik's new invention threatens the Freedom Fighters, so Sonic has to sabotage it before it's too late – is highly reminiscent of that series. There's also a scene where Sonic runs around an industrial library with a backpack on, which gave me some nostalgia for a better show. (Sonic also wears streaky war paint in that scene for some reason. It looks goofy.) Sonic also wears a disguise in one scene, giving me "AoStH" flashback, though Bartleby sees through it pretty quickly. 

The best thing about this episode is also the most unexpected thing about it. Sonia is definitely my least favorite of Sonic's siblings. Her prissy rich girl attitude is annoying and the show has done little to define her beyond that. Shockingly, this episode actually manages to generate some sympathy for Sonia. She may be a spoiled little rich girl but she still had the only life she ever knew ripped away from her. The idea of feeling sad about someone missing their debutante ball seems absurd. Bitch, we're fighting a war! (Also, Bartleby is a textbook definition of a ponce.) Yet, by framing this as something she's dreamed about her whole life that she'll miss out on, I did end up feeling kind of sorry for Sonia. Usually, I only feel annoyance or indifference towards her so that's a pleasant change. 

"Come Out Wherever You Are" is also interesting for introducing some far-out sci-fi ideas into this show's universe. The Predator is a war ship that Robotnik has grown an organic brain for. Once this fleshy brain is installed into the mechanical ship, the whole thing will morph into a unstoppable, bio-mechanical entity. Moments like this is when I remember "Sonic Underground" is from France, where the precedence for sci-fi is more Moebius than Roddenberry. Sadly, the episode never actually shows us the bad-ass meat ship because Sonic and the gang successfully sabotage the brain installation process. 

In fact, "Come Out Wherever You" never really finds any balance between the quest to stop the Predator and Sonia trying to enjoy her debutante ball. The two plots awkwardly co-exist and never really come together. The script tries to up some of the tension, with Sonia having to do both at the same time. Because she's the best pilot, it's her job to cyber-hijack the Predator. Yet the competing storylines just make it look like she enjoys her ball for a few minutes and then speeds off to do the actually important shit. The two premises are not balanced, the episode focusing on one for a long time before awkwardly switching focus to the other. 

Yet this episode does achieve something I didn't expect: I don't totally hate the song this time. After Sonic reveals the plan that will allow Sonia both to be a Freedom Fighter and get her princess dream, she launches into a musical number called "Society Girl." The song is pretty clearly inspired by Madonna's "Material Girl." Society girls live in high-fashioned worlds, the lyrics tell us, much the way material girls live in material world. I have a soft spot for eighties synth-pop, so I don't mind the production this time. Unlike every other genre the show's musicians have tried out, a goofy Madonna riff is in their wheelhouse. Even the vocal performances are a little less ear-splitting than usual.

The song might be tolerable for once but "Sonic Underground" is never free of typical "Sonic Underground" shit. Sleet still transforms Dingo into several humiliating forms, including a "Brain That Wouldn't Die"-style lab set. This series seems indecisive over whether Sonic's siblings share his speed. Usually, they depict Manic and Sonia keeping up with a hoverboard and motorcycle. Yet here, Sonia can perform her own Sonic-style tornado spin. The moment that truly made me turn on this otherwise not-terrible episode was Queen Alena dropping in on Sonia's ball long enough to send her a special present. For fuck's sake, mom, just spend time with your goddamn kids! This whole "sending messages from the shadows" shit is exasperating. Also, there's some gratuitous cross dressing from Sonic and Manic near the end for reasons I don't recall.

Once again, I just have to reckon with a not-completely-terrible episode of "Sonic Underground" still having dumb shit in it. At least you can feel Hurst and Allee trying to create a decent story here. It doesn't work but, since it's this show we're talking about here, a gold "you tried" sticker is still worth something. Even if Queen Alena is increasingly making Locke look like a good parent. [5.5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.09: Who Do You Think You Are

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.08: Who Do You Think You Are

Original Air Date: September 8th, 1999

Just the other day, I reviewed an episode of "Sonic Underground" written by Ben Hurst and Pat Allee. While I don't know if I'd go so far as to call the episode good, it was definitely good by the standards of this show. If nothing else, I could see shades of "SatAM" in that one. This gave me hope that Hurst and Allee's other "Underground" installments would be, at the very least, tolerable. That hope has now been dashed as "Who Do You Think You Are" is the same trash I've come to expect from this program. 

Sonic and his siblings hear a rumor that Queen Alena's journals are underneath the desert nation of Tashistan. They arrive in the city at the same time as Sleet and Dingo. Sonia meets a kindly thief named Raffi during a foot chase. During the same chase, she is conked on the head by Dingo while he's transformed into a surveillance drone. This causes her to lose her memory, though luckily Raffi's family takes her in. Unaware of its significance, she trades her medallion for some bread and it quickly falls into Sleet's hands. Even after Sonic and Manic locate their lost sister and she regains her memories, they still have to retrieve the medallion. (Typing these plots out really make you realize how convoluted they are.)

Knowing what the production of this show was like, I guess I can't blame Hurst and Allee for falling back on an old cliché like easy amnesia. It's just that this is the seventh time a plot point like this has come up on this blog. "Underground" doesn't really bring anything new to the premise either. It amounts to a handful of scenes with Raffi and Sonia out on the street. If it wasn't for a minor moment, where Sonia's memory loss causes her to cry a little, I would say the plot point happens strictly for contrivance's sake. It's so Sonia's medallion can get snatched, motivating the back half of the episode. The bumps on the noggin that steal and return Sonia's memory don't seem especially severe either. If a slight bump on the head is all it takes, people on Mobius must be running around without their memories all the time.

One must also address the setting of Tashistan. It is a stereotypical Middle Eastern desert location. Raffi dresses like Aladdin. There are domed, temple-like buildings in the background. Much of the episode is set around an open marketplace. Turbans and fezzes are commonplace and all the women are veiled... Which raises the sort of questions this show really isn't prepared to answer. Does Islam exist on this version of Mobius? It's not offensive – as long as you don't mind obviously white actors doing vague accents – but it does seem a little off in a way I can't quite verbalize. Especially since the exotic location really affects the story in no real way. 

The decision to adopt a Middle Eastern setting for this episode becomes really questionable when Sonic starts singing about the "wind across the desert sand" over sitar music. I thought sitars were an Indian thing? The song is called "We Need to Be Free" and the lyricists were really not trying that day. Sample lyrics: "Freedom is a golden bird that lets us fly." Moments like that remind you that these songs were written by Frenchmen who probably didn't speak English as a first language. At least the musical number is barely justified by the plot, as Sonic and Manic use the song to lure out Sonia. 

Then again, maybe the questionable depiction of Middle Eastern culture isn't what really makes me uncomfortable about this episode. The body-horror of Dingo's form being twisted is present and accounted for. Here, he's turned into a floating robotic drone – figure out the physics of that on your own – and a slug-like mermaid. The episode ends with Raffi getting half-Roboticized, left with robot legs. He doesn't seem to mind this at all, even though one assumes it means half his digestive system is now metal. (I guess it never bothered Bunnie.) I'd like to get though one of these without thinking about the fragile mutability of the flesh. 

This episode also seems distressingly obsessed with muck and slime. Sonia cakes her face in mud twice, the second time with very little prompting or reason. Later, she's covered head-to-toe in an unidentifiable creamy substance. Sonic and Manic also get shoved face-first into sewage, fish bones and trash caught in their hair. The same fate befalls Sonia shortly afterwards. She doesn't mind getting all grimy and squishy either, which is actually a plot point. I really don't want to assume this is a sex thing. Regardless of motive, it's gross and unnecessary. 

Then again, why wouldn't I assume it's a sex thing considering this episode also features Sonic and Manic cross dressing as belly dancers and successfully seducing Sleet? Once again, I want to point out that "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" could sort of get away with Sonic donning paper thin disguises and easily fooling his enemies, on account of being a goofy comedy show. "Underground" obviously wants to be taken more seriously than that. Yet it still goes for the broad comedy of Sonic and his brother putting on a dress and bra and Sleet being pretty into it. I'm not passing judgement on Sleet's sexuality but he probably should've noticed that two of his greatest enemies were shaking their asses right in front of him. Really kind of changes the context of him constantly chasing them, doesn't it?

Anyway... Sorry, "Sonic" cartoons always distract me when they include disturbingly vivid fetishes barely disguised as wacky comedy. Oh yeah, the whole business about Alena's journal also ends up being an obnoxiously vague red herring. This show is really just going to keep doing that for forty episodes, isn't it? Only thirty more left to go! [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.06: Tangled Webs

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.06: Tangled Webs

Original Air Date: September 6th, 1999

"Tangled Webs" begins with Sonia and Manic testing a new weapon – a remote piloted drone with a built-in laser cannon – on a SWATBot factory. Sonic is supposed to assist but he gets distracted when a friend named Cyrus asks for some help. Sonia and Manic are almost captured but Sonic still arrives in time and destroys the factory. Afterwards, while chilling at a rebellion hideout, they learn that Cyrus' dad is a prisoner of Robotnik's. The audience learns that Cyrus is a spy, being blackmailed to help the enemy in hopes he'll lead Robotnik to Sanctuary, the rebellion's most secret base. When Cyrus learns kids are hidden there, he backs out. He reveals his treachery when he almost leads Sonic into a trap. 

"Tangled Web" was written by Ben Hurst and Pat Allee. The sight of their names gave me some hope, which wasn't totally unfounded. "Tangled Web" is the "Sonic Underground" episode that feels the most like "SatAM" so far. The opening set-up, of Sonic and a bickering princess planning to sabotage a factory, feels right out of the classic series. About the first ten minutes are devoted to this sequence and it's... Not bad. Sonia is way more annoying than Sally on her worst day but this feels like "Sonic" in a tolerable way. Robotnik has a far bigger role here than in the last few installments, Sleet and Dingo delegated to minion roles. The remote control drones even feel a little like a homage to the series' video game roots, with their VR headset and handheld control. 

This episode even maintains "SatAM's" most important rule: There will always be losses. The heroes ultimately can't rescue Cyrus' dad, who is Roboticized. (An irreversible condition in this show.) Yet Cyrus' character arc still could've used another polish. He's so obviously a spy, turning on his listening device the minute the good guys start talking about stuff, that it makes the siblings look like fools for not noticing. When he learns children are kept at Sanctuary, he has a sudden change of heart. I wish a little more time could've been devoted to that, to Cyrus' good heart and the circumstances that made him a spy. Further more, we never see the heroes confront Cyrus for being a traitor. Considering the time restraints they were working under, Hurst and Allee probably did the best they could. 

Another way this is an improvement over your typical "Underground" episode is that it's not as preachy. The moral of the episode seems to be that you should be dependable. Sonic slacks off, doesn't pay attention to time, and Manic and Sonia are nearly captured because of it. In the second half of the episode, Sonic diverts from the plan again and also almost gets snatched because of it. Yet Sonia ultimately shrugs it off, saying Sonic's style works for him so it's no big deal. It's not an overstated moral imposed on the viewer. It's just a regular character beat, brother and sister arguing a little but ultimately coming to appreciate each other. 

If I'm giving you the impression that "Tangled Web" is a pretty good half-hour of animation, just wait. Once they arrive in Sanctuary, the children implore the royal triplets to perform for them. The musical number that follows, "Teach the Children, Light the Way," is the most painful sort of sappy bullshit. The melody - which, again, does not feature guitar - is the dopiest kind of elevator music bullshit. The lyrics are empty platitudes about teaching children to be strong and caring and all that shit. It's another one of those musical numbers that left me with an ugly, cringing expression on my face for its duration. 

Also, unfortunately, "Tangled Webs" looks really bad. The animation pauses on several truly unfortunate sights, like Sonic stuffing his face with a tofu dog, which he then spits out. (Sonic looks overly chubby in several scenes.) Or SWATBots being washed away by bright yellow molten oar, which more resembles pee than anything else. Sonic turns into the same spinning blue tornado several times. Shots of Cyrus shooting a machine-stopping ray are repeated. Sonia's face remains locked in a smile during several distressing moments. The character designs continue to be underwhelming. Cyrus is supposed to be a lion but looks more like a hedgehog than Sonic does. I also continue to dislike the weird, alien-slug creatures mixed in with the typical furry animal Mobians. 

Yet, by the standards of this particular cartoon, "Tangled Webs" is something of an improvement. It's good to know that Hurst and Allee could do semi-decent work even under the constraints of this production. Still, the typically putrid quality of the song and animation keeps me from giving this one too high of a score. Even in its best moments, "Sonic Underground" is still "Sonic Underground." [5.5/10] 

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.30: Harmony or Something

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.30: Harmony or Something

Original Air Date: October 8th, 1999

"Harmony or Something" picks up right where the previous part of the "Origins" story left off. (Which makes its status as the thirtieth episode to air even stranger.) Sonic, Sonia, and Manic are training with Thelonious at the floating monastery. That's when the monk feels a disturbance in the Force, sensing that Robotnik is fire-bombing Robotropolis and rounding up anyone suspicious. Including Sonic's friend, Trevor. The three head back to Robotropolis, even if they haven't mastered their powers yet. They uncover a plot to find the Oracle and blow him up real good.

Even though the last episode was supposed to be about getting the triplets in harmony, both literally and figuratively, it seems the show is not done with that moral yet. Throughout "Harmony or Something," Sonic, Sonia, and Manic bicker constantly. They sarcastically rebuff one another at every point. Sonic's impulsiveness annoys Sonia. Sonia's haughtiness annoys the guys. Manic's sticky fingers bothers his siblings as well. Watching these characters constantly snipe at each other is not endearing. In fact, I often found myself agreeing with Sonic and Sonia's critiques of each other. The banter is too convincing as annoyance, making their inevitable kiss-and-make-up scene feel entirely insincere.

The episode begins with a scene where the triplets are running around a castle, fighting a dragon that is then revealed to be an air elemental. Once again, I find myself feeling that these fantasy elements feel entirely out of place on a "Sonic" show. But now I'm wondering why. "SatAM" and the comics had wizards and dragons and magic spells and they still felt like "Sonic." Maybe the lack of any game elements whatsoever – no Tails, no power rings, no booby traps – is the reason. Or perhaps the focus on the music gimmick to the exclusion of so much else is the cause. Either way, I feel like you could have slotted any character into the lead role and "Sonic Underground" would be unchanged. Sonic only uses his speed once in the entire episode.

Even more so than random "Dungeons and Dragons" bullshit getting dropped into the show, I'm really tired of "Underground" returning to the trope of a wise, magical mentor. Thelonious is the third such character introduced in as many episodes. "Harmony or Something" also sees the Oracle returning to impose a meaningful lesson in the kids. Finally, Queen Alena herself appears as a magic vision, to tell her children to get their act together. Ya know, it doesn't feel like our characters have earned any sort of growth when someone magically comes along and tells them what to do. Bringing the trio's missing mom into the story so soon also makes you wonder why the hell she's in hiding. I know, the prophecy foretells it. But that's a stupid reason to keep someone constantly just out of arms' reach. It feels like Queen Alena abandoned her kids just because someone said she had to. It's not enthralling writing...

 

Wait a minute... Dumb-ass prophecies dictating the story... Parents leaving their kids behind just to passive-aggressively monitor and manipulate their lives from behind the scenes... An abundance of magical mentors telling everyone what to do, while relying on annoying mysticism... Are we sure Ken Penders didn't write this show? This is not the last time "Sonic Underground" would seemingly pulled from the comic book series, despite Ben Hurst's insistence that he's never picked up a single issue of it.

The episode does, at least, have one thing going for it. This version of Robotnik is proving rather ruthless. Carpet-bombing his own city just to flush out some rebels is pretty intense. So is the scene where he invites Sonia's absurdly stuck-up fiancé Bartleby into his chamber just to have Sonia's roboticized foster mom walk in. He also comes very close to roboticizing Sleet and Dingo as well. Garry Chalk is no Jim Cummings but he's still making a convincing villain anyway.

A scene directly after that one also brought "SatAM" to mind in a very good way. Spotting her de-facto mother paraded around as a grotesque cyborg naturally upsets Sonia. She insists she'll rescue Lady Windermere but Sonic and Manik grimly point out that roboticization is irreversible. Sonia is moved to tears and has to hug it out. This recalls "SatAM's" guiding principal that they're must always be losses. (In fact, it might be even darker than that show, since Uncle Chuck's personality could be restored there.) The scenes of Sonic sneaking around Robotnik's base, grieving lost loved ones, and bantering with a princess is the indicators that this series shared much of the same writing staff as "SatAM."

If only it could have kept that stuff and ditched the fucking songs. Once again, an episode of "Sonic Underground" concludes with another asinine song. "We're All in This Together" is, at least, less insufferable than the last two songs. Even if it still features a limo, a muzak-like backing track, and strangled lyrics like "We're all in this together/like birds of a feather." What's stranger yet is the "music video" that plays under the song. In three layers, some of which are distorted, scenes from the episode play while a squiggly line to the left tracks the beat. That feels like a really random attempt to replicate the music videos of the early eighties.

I keep hoping that, as I watch more of "Sonic Underground," I'll eventually grow immune to the skin-crawling displeasures of the songs. That hasn't happened yet, as my jaw still locks up whenever the singing starts. Anyway, as with the last two episodes, this is another installment that shows "Underground" had potential but it was just buried under so much stupid bullshit. [5/10]