Sonic Boom, Episode 2.43: Chain Letter

Sonic Boom, Episode 2.43: Chain Letter

Original Air Date: September 2nd, 2017

The title of the ninety-fifth episode of "Sonic Boom" had me hoping it would be about Sonic and friends getting sent a letter about the ghost of a dead girl who will haunt them unless they pass it along to seven friends. Instead, the titular "Chain Letter" is simply the kicking-off point to the plot. When Eggman receives such a message on social media platform FriendSpace, he's remiss to realize he lacks the proper amount of friends to forward the bad-luck-causing letter to. This sees the villain physically going around Hedgehog Village and begging people to become his fake internet friends. He goes so far as asking Sonic and the other heroes to add him on FriendSpace. When the villain proves so annoying, bombarding the hedgehog with notifications and stale memes, Sonic un-"friends" him. This is such a crushing blow to Eggman's ego that he invents a brand new social media platform called Scrambler, designed with the sole purpose of allowing everyone to use it except Sonic. When Scrambler actually becomes extremely popular, our blue hero is annoyed by his exclusion from the superstar app. 

Internet culture moves extremely fast. What is trending on Twitter or Instagram today will be utterly forgotten in a week or two. Since making television and movies – to say nothing of animation – is a crushingly slow process in comparison, big budget shows and films can find themselves woefully behind the tide by the time they become available to the public. In its first season, "Sonic Boom" was still cracking jokes about Justin Bieber as if he was chubby-cheeked child star when he was, in fact, a grizzled 22 year old. Which is to say: This show taking on social media was always going to be a disaster full of hopelessly out-of-date references and antiquated pop culture callbacks. 

You can see this immediately. The social media platform at the center of the story is called FriendSpace, which seems to be largely inspired by Myspace and Friendster, both of which were awash in chain letters and other bullshit. Those are such old shout-outs that there's a good chance the people reading these words right now don't know what they are! In operation, "FriendSpace" seems to function a little bit more like Facebook, in the way you "friend" people, tag them in photographs, and how notifications pop up. The script at least acknowledges that such a platform – which several people talk about using on their computers holy shit – is the social media app of choice for old people. What does it position as the hip, young alternative that is beloved by the trend-chasing glamouratti? SnarkChat, an obvious spoof of Snapchat. When was the last time someone sent you anything on Snapchat? In 2024, if you're messaging people on Snapchat, you might as well be sending them a carrier pigeon. They'll be dead by the time they read it. 

If "Chain Letter" was out-of-date when it first aired, watching it seven years after the fact is truly like stepping back in time. Simply the fact that everyone refers to connecting with people on these platforms as "friend"ing seems ancient. None of us want friends anymore. We want followers. Social media has changed so much over the last decade. There's a scene here where Amy and Knuckles are sending each other messages, chatting and laughing at jokes. Nobody used social media to talk to their actual friends anymore! That's what Discord and Telegram are for, applications that very well may become abandoned ghost towns by the time this review goes up. Social media is for becoming outraged, for watching the world decay in real time. The people in this episode use social media like a bunch of old boomers, sharing faux-inspirational quotes with Minions slapped on them. The only accurate thing about social media this episode gets right is Sonic rushing to make a Scrambler account simply so he won't be left out. Remember when everyone jumped over to BlueSky and Threads, platforms that are desolate wastelands now? Fear Of Missing Out still drives a lot of online traffic, even if it can't sustain a community. 

"Chain Letter's" writer Peter Saisselin couldn't have imagined the way TikTok or AI or Cryptocurrency would make the world worse in bold, new ways. 2017 also wasn't that long ago. It was still the post-Trump era, when it became clear that the spread of misinformation online could have disastrous effects in the real world. (Which is referenced in a quick line about "the Mayor's private e-mail server.") The episode is certainly not socially aware enough to take on a menace like that but it does get one thing right: We are inundated with bullshit on social media. In 2024, it's not clickbait, pictures of people's lunches, and chain letters. Instead, it's conspiracy theories about how Democrats drink baby blood or disturbingly uncanny "artwork" a robot burnt down a patch of rain forest to churn out. And ads. Mostly, it's lots and lots of fucking ads. That is the endgame of Facebook and Twitter and all the rest stealing our personal data to sell to the highest bidder, a habit sardonically referred to in the script. The scene where Eggman and his robot assistants conceive of Scrambler – which, in 2024, would definitely have an easily copyrighted spelling like Scrmblr – details the various ways social media is designed to get people's attention and placate our need for admiration without anyone putting in actual effort. This was before the algorithm started ruling our lives, when every thought your brain farted out wasn't instantly swarmed by porn-bots. The effect is more or less the same, however. Our minds are now deafened by an ever-present storm of distraction, making it difficult to accomplish anything. 

There's a scene in "Chain Letter" where Sonic is walking through the village looking at the citizens, as they wander around hunched over their phones, their faces lit by a little screen, glued to inconsequential internet chatter. This is not that different from a type of old person scolding so commonplace that it has been reduced to a two word phrase: Phone bad. Either by keen observation of the human condition or sheer coincidence, Saisselin's script does get at a deeper truth. Eggman launches Scrambler. It becomes a hit. Everyone on the island is using it. He has thousands of online friends... And he still feels so alone. Cliched as it is to say it, the fact is online fame and attention is not nearly as gratifying as we've all been led to believe. Humans still exist in the real world and we still crave that face-to-face interaction. To hear another person's voice, to feel their warmth next to us, to smell their B.O. wafting up our noses. Our brains have been tricked enough to give us a dopamine hit for every like and heart and retweet and follow and stitch we get. That does nothing to keep us from being increasingly isolated in a world that's melting down. Maybe the scolding old people are right. A look around at the state of things presents the hard-to-deny fact that phone is bad.

"Sonic Boom's" attempt to take on what is new and fresh with a graying, arthritic approach ends up getting a lot of silly shit wrong while also accidentally nailing a few other aspects. At the end of the episode, Sonic confronts Eggman about Scrambler. The two have a heart-to-heart, concluding with Sonic finally accepting Eggman's friend request... Only for the mad doctor to unfriend him. Getting everyone hooked on Scrambler could've been a villainous ploy of Eggman's, a part of his latest scheme to rule the globe. Sonic suspects as much. Instead, his entire motivation is no more complicated than wanting to spite someone who hurt his feelings. I'm going to promote this review on an application bought out – and made substantially less functional – by a billionaire because his pop star ex-wife left him. As I write this, a failed casino owner who conned his way into the White House by weaponizing internet culture war bullshit, on his way to an attempted coup and dismantling of democracy, is trying another go at it. And why? Because he got made fun of him at a dinner thirteen years ago. The world does revolve around the petty, childish whims of rich assholes. A tech mogul sinking billions into a new start-up simply so he can point at one specific person and scream "Up yours!" at them is so plausible, it barely needs to be commented on. As much as I hate to give Aaron Sorkin any credit, he was right about that. 

At the end of the episode, having completed his goal, Eggman deletes Scrambler. This enraged the villagers but Eggman doesn't mind. He's decided that having 500 million enemies is as good as a few friends. This is an amusing conclusion that furthers one of the primary running gags of this show. Despite being an evil genius capable of manufacturing massive weapons of war, Eggman still has the mentality of a moody kid. This is very clear in the scene where he meets Sonic and friends on the soccer field, petulantly whining that they should be his pretend cyber-buddies. It's funny but it feeds back into that dispiriting truth, that pathetic personal grievances too often motivate powerful men. As much as we hate the likes of Eggman, Elon, and ExxonMobil CEO Darren Woods, they are still human beings. Eggman goes around the village, asking people to be his friend, to like him. When they inevitably say no, he walks off in a huff. It is disturbingly easy to imagine Musk or Trump doing that exact thing. How many of the architects of our mutual doom have been inspired by an unfulfilled need to be liked? How many are desperate to have a simple desire for affection sated?

I feel this review got kinda dark. Let me wrap up by saying that "Chain Letter," as factually inept but secretly depressing as it might be, did make me laugh a decent amount. There is a shockingly fucked-up joke about Dave repeatedly hitting Old Man Monkey with his car. It keeps going! Another quality stretched-out gag involves the increasingly nonsensical lingo social media platforms use for basic features, which climaxes in an amusingly sarcastic wink from Sonic. There's some groaners, about old people not understanding technology, the Meh Burger complaint box, or the use of the phrase "fleek." However, I guess it was all worth it for a funny pong reference. Who doesn't love a good pong reference? 

Now that I think about it though... If Eggman had no friends on FriendSpace, who sent him the chain letters in the first place? Maybe the ghost of the dead girl did it. That's scary! So is being horribly left-behind on trends, the pathetic loneliness at the heart of all social media, and the tech giants that run them. I guess that means this was a spooktactular episode of "Sonic Boom" after all! Happy Halloween, Hedgehogs Can't Swim readers! Now, excuse me, I have to go check my notifications on Instagram and see how many upvotes a pithy comment I left on a Reddit post of a weird looking dog got... [7/10]

Sonic Boom, Episode 2.31: Lightning Bowler Society

Sonic Boom, Episode 2.31: Lightning Bowler Society

Original Air Date: June 10th, 2017

If I was able to do any project without falling horribly behind schedule, I probably would've wrapped up my "Sonic Boom" reviews months ago. Instead, my serial tendency to miss updates means this retrospective has dragged on and on. But maybe some things are meant to be. If I had finished discussing "Boom" on time, it probably would've been before the "Knuckles" streaming series started. Which means I would've discovered, only after the fact, how that show's much-contested focus on bowling wasn't even a new addition to the "Sonic" franchise! Yes, defying the odds, Wade Whipple's desire to best his absentee father at a bowling tournament isn't the first time the game of ten pins found its way into a piece of official "Sonic" media. The thirty-first episode of "Boom's" second season was all about rolling on the lanes, introducing Fred Flintstone and Homer Simpson's favorite athletic contest into the blue hedgehog universe. Assuming there isn't some shitty mobile "Sonic Bowling" game I've overlooked... 

[Update: There is, in fact, a shitty mobile "Sonic Bowling" game. Two actually: An original in 2002 and a remake in 2009. However, both were Japanese exclusives, so this episode is still the first English-language piece of official "Sonic" media about bowling. Hoo-ray for highly specific superlatives!]

The episode begins with the Lightning Bolt Society attempting another ineffectual and easily defeated feat of villainy against Sonic and the gang. Feeling discouraged afterwards, the wannabe supervillains decide to shift their focus entirely. From now on, they will be the Lightning Bowler Society, putting on ugly shirts and rolling balls down the lanes. This turns out to be much more successful for the group than their villainy careers ever were. All four of them quickly become local celebrities. This infuriates Sonic, who apparently also has a bowling team with his friends. After being bested by the new stars in town, Sonic becomes obsessed with topping them at their own game. Soon, in-fighting among the Lighting Bolters sees them breaking up, robbing Sonic of his chance at victory. He then dispatches his friends to convince Dave, Willy Walrus, and the rest to regroup, strictly so he'll be able to defeat them at the alley. 

I've talked before about how the "Sonic Boom" writing team managed to take some of the show's minor background players – who wouldn't amount to anything but running gags otherwise – and turn them into actual supporting cast members. Dave the Intern is the most obvious example of this. However, his involvement with the Lightning Bolt Society truly is nothing but a running gag. The wheezy teen's status as an apathetic fast food worker has long since eclipsed his pathetic desires for supervillain status as his defining characteristics. While Dave is reasonably well developed – by the standards of a reoccurring guest star in a children's sitcom anyway – the rest of the Lightning Bolt Society are one-note jokes. Two of them don't even have real names, being known only as Weasel Bandit and Tree Spy. (Or Tree Guy, as I usually call him.) Willy Walrus is a character that was created simply to pay-off a goofy sight-gag in the tenth episode, his name being the first name you'd think of for a walrus character. That he's reappeared probably has more to do with the "Boom" animators wanting to reuse CGI assets than anything else. 

With this in mind, the idea of "Sonic Boom" devoting nearly an entire episode to the Lightning Bolt Society seems like an act of utter hubris on the writers' behalf. Kids are here to watch Sonic and his pals have adventures, not to see your stupid O.C.s bitch about their lives, maaaaaan. As ill-conceived as this premise seems, "Lightning Bowler Society" actually manages to work pretty well. I praised Peter Saisselen's earlier episode, "Do Not Disturb," for being surprisingly dense and narrarively complete despite the short runtime of "Sonic Boom" episodes. "Lighting Bowler Society" has this same feature. In only ten minutes, Saisselen squeezes in a complete story that contains multiple dramatic turns and twists. Like all good narrative, the protagonists are different people at the end of this journey than they were at the beginning. Dave and the gang decided they didn't want to be supervillains, changed directions, became stars, broke-up, and then remember why they all became friends in the first place, rekindling their bond. They went on a journey and learned something about themselves. That this is done within such a short runtime is all the more impressive. 

The biggest evidence that "Lightning Bowler Society" had actually won me over by the end is that I found myself, against all odds, invested in the story of Tree Guy. The most one-note of the Lighting Bolt Society manages to use his low level of celebrity to win over a hot girlfriend. That would be Staci, the identical twin sister – even down to wearing the same outfit – of Perci. And while Perci seems like a chill person, her sister fancies herself a starfucking Lady MacBeth. She talks Tree Guy – now self-seriously calling himself "Chameleon" – into wildly overvaluing his own worth and going solo. And this is such a stupid subplot. I'm more invested in Old Monkey than I am Tree Guy! 

Yet, somehow, this story turn is compelling. Seeing perpetual underdogs like the Lightning Bolters actually win some success is... Nice? They then have it broken up by ego and petty squabbling, in a classic tale familiar to anyone who has read a book about a big rock group. Narratives like this are compelling for a reason and, even one this dumb, gets you caught up. Who doesn't love a tale about a beloved group of talented individuals, coming together to make something beautiful, only to be torn apart by their own flaws? Did I just compare a bowling team to The Beatles? I guess that makes Staci the Yoko in this story, the subplot about her and Tree Guy making an art film about his penis presumably being cut for time. 

Many times, while writing for this blog, I've found myself thinking "Isn't this cartoon/comic/movie supposed to be about Sonic the Hedgehog?" Saisselen's script keeps the blue hedgehog in the story by essentially shifting him into the antagonist role. Sonic and his bowling team provides the rivals the Lightning Bolters need to bring themselves back together. While Sonic having a newfound interest in bowling feels like a stretch, this set-up does return to one of my favorite moods of "Boom" Sonic. Having him want to beat Dave/Willy/etc because he wants to win a trophy is boring. Having Sonic want to beat these guys because their popularity is a threat to his ego is interesting. Especially since it results in him doing the right thing – helping some friends patch up their separation – for totally selfish reason. Even the most heroic versions of Sonic tend to be a little full of themselves. "Boom" sometimes exaggerating that into Sonic acting in petty, immature ways whenever his status as the village's top hero is threatened is a good gag. Especially since it allows Roger Craig Smith to really ham it up in amusing ways. 

The result is overall a funny episode. The rest of Team Sonic doesn't have much to do in this one. However, a montage of them bowling does, amusingly, reflect their personalities. Knuckles drops the ball before even throwing it, because he's a doofus. Tails slowly and exactly rolls it down the lane on the way to a perfect strike, because he's a detail-orientated techy. Sticks misses a roll and then violently lunches at the standing pins, because she's insane. The episode manages to make a lame-seeming gag about fruitcake funny by pushing the absurdity even further, Sonic and the gang actually deciding to dine on the weaponized dessert. Overall, there's some inspired gaggery here. Such as Willy trying to sell bowling ball earrings on a home-shopping channel, Tree Guy being applauded for his collection of tree suits, or taking his hot date out to Meh Burger. That last one involves a bit about the bowling team getting a tie-ins meal at the fast food place, composed of meat slurry slopped onto a plate. That's not the best joke but I do applaud the animation team for making those Beef Bowls look truly disgusting. 

It's an episode that shouldn't work but ends up being a good time, largely because it's well written and packs its set-up with plenty of surprisingly weird japes. And, who knows, maybe bowling will find its way into more "Sonic" stuff in the future. Someday, they might make more of those "Sonic & Mario at the Olympics Games" titles that I've never actually seen anyone play. The bowling industry lobby – something that apparently exists! – keeps trying to convince the Olympic Committee to make the sport a regular part of the games. Perhaps these two threads of history will converge. Perhaps we'll see Sonic knock over some pins again and for Knuckles to angrily declare that he doesn't roll on Shabbos. Stranger things, like this episode being good, have happened. [7/10]

Sonic Boom, Episode 2.25: Do Not Disturb

Sonic Boom, Episode 2.25: Do Not Disturb

Original Air Date: April 29th, 2017

"Do Not Disturb" starts as Sonic is having a nightmare about blarms. He's awoken by a drooling, vaguely tapir like creature. This is a widabit, an endangered species, and it's chosen Sonic's hut as its nesting ground. Fastidious Beaver and Amy, the head chairs of the local environmental agency, insist Sonic vacate his home until the widabit finds a mate. This means the hedgehog has to crash on Tails' couch for a while, the two best friends quickly getting on each others' nerves. Sonic and Tails' growing animosity grows as attempts to solve the widabit problem backfires more and more.

In every other piece of "Sonic" media, Sonic and Tails share a mentor/sidekick relationship. Tails looks up to Sonic and wants to be like him. Sonic hopes to flourish Tails' talent and genius, teaching the kid to be more confident. This clear power dynamic disguises the fact that Sonic and Tails don't have much in common, personality wise. Tails is usually shown to be somewhat soft-spoken, maybe even shy and awkward. Sonic is always brass and confident, quick-witted and smirking. Tails is technical, an engineer. Sonic is a man of action, usually racing into adventures before really thinking them through. The two compliment each other nicely but, ya know, would they have still been best friends if they went to high school together? Could Sonic and Tails' bond have overcome the popular kid/nerd boundary? 

"Boom" really has us considering this question, as these versions of Sonic and Tails don't quite have the usual hero/sidekick dynamic. In fact, the show has, in the past, indecisively depicted Knuckles as Sonic's best friend. Either way, "Boom" Sonic and Tails sometimes feel more like siblings than buddies but the show still declares them to be best friends whenever it fits the plot. "Do Not Disturb" runs with the idea of Sonic and Tails' differences, when in constant exposure to each other, forcing them apart rather than bringing them together. This is a solid foundation for an episode. Namely, because it's true. Yet me meander off on an excruciating personal anecdote for a minute: I, for a brief period of time, had my best friend living with me. And I love this guy. We do everything together. He's been my best pal since middle school. But living with him? Having him turn the TV on loud first thing in the morning or leave dirty laundry by the hamper? Let me just say, I relate to Tails in this episode. Just because you love someone, that you really enjoy spending time with them, doesn't mean you'll be able to share living quarters with them. 

The elemental truth of this idea, the tension that inevitably rises when besties become roomies, makes it a potent premise to build a sitcom episode on. At first, Sonic and Tails have a great time hanging out together every night. However, Sonic's constant showboating ways, not to mention his tendency towards being a bit of a slob, quickly gets on Tails' nerves. Watching the fox go from loving this guy to being mildly disgusted and annoyed with him at all times produces some good gags, especially as the progression happens basically over the course of a montage. Naturally, these two work it all out by the end, realizing that the bond they have is stronger than some petty disagreement. That's what happened with me and my best friend too: He got his own place and we became best pals again, with a newly gained understanding that what gives us such compelling chemistry might annoy the shit out of us during long-term exposure. 

Once again, "Sonic Boom" gets a lot of comedic juice out of contrasting this superheroic characters with such petty behavior. When you expect to see Sonic running fast and fighting robots, seeing him annoy his roommate by putting his feet up on the table is a good joke. Such is the insignificant kind of arguments that much if the episode is built upon. One of its funniest scenes has Sonic and Tails arguing while attempting to push a stubborn widabit around, nitpicking each others' skills after their wacky plan failed. Later, Eggman's attempt to wreak some villainous actions are being repeatedly blocked by environmental clauses, forcing what is supposed to be an epic battle between good and evil into being a squabbling staring contest. You could make the case that humor like this, the contrast between action/adventure premises and childish disagreements, is the entire joke this show revolves around. 

While this episode might primarily be about Sonic and Tails challenging their friendship by ending up in an "Odd Couple" scenario, the way writer Peter Saisselin gets to that idea is amusingly wacky. Sonic is forced to move not because of a plumbing issue or whatever but because an obnoxiously gross endangered species decides his little shed is the best place to get some ass. The way the heroes go about trying to resolve this problem, by throwing a fancy dinner for two disagreeable widabits, is some good cartoony silliness. In general, the business with the widabits continue to escalate in goofier ways throughout the episode, each scheme the heroes cook up to solve the problem only making it worse. Always a classic structure for a comedy to follow. 

In general, I have to commend the character designer of "Sonic Boom" for making such a perfectly ugly creature with the widabits. The obvious temptation with such a creature would be to make them cute. I mean, pretty much all the characters on "Boom" are cute, even ostensibly repulsive ones like Dave or Mark. The widabits, meanwhile, are genuinely unpleasant to look at. They have those gapping Totoro mouths, full of perfectly square rows of teeth, and wide, unenlightened eyes. While that could've been cute, it's paired with a flabby body and a pig-like posture. Improbable features like whiskers, a random horn, and splotchy skin are just stuck in random places, to make the whole creature look even more like a mistake on God's behalf. The color scheme is an unpleasantly fleshy maroon. The grotesque cherry on this crapulent sundae is the widabit's tendency to always be drooling or leaking slime in some way. You can't avoid the feeling that these things smell really bad. Considering their role in the story is to be a constant thorn in everyone's side, making them so damnably unpleasant was the right decision. That "Boom's" animation can, even on its best days, be a bit off only adds to the viscerally negative reaction I had to these critters upon seeing them. 

To make matters worse, the episode really hinges on whether the heroes can get these stupid, ugly animals to breed. We don't want to think about these abominations humping but the story constantly forces us to do so. Tails blows the creature's mating call through a bullhorn, which brings all the widabits to Sonic's yard. Yet, even in the disgusting mud-pig world, romance is rarely as easy as that. The convoluted shenanigans the heroes have to go through to get their smelly, drooling stink-hog laid is nicely stretched out. The generally sexually charged atmosphere of this episode is established immediately, as the first scene features Sonic's face getting splattered with the widabit's drool, a viscous, slimy liquid. That same fate is visited upon Tails. Was that an unintended side effect of this show's animation budget making all liquids look thick and unpleasant? Or did the writers really sneak not one but two facial jokes into a kids' show? I guess we can only speculate... 

While Sonic and Tails are obviously the main focus of this episode, the script is pretty well balanced all over. Each cast member is allowed to shine. Sticks' super sniffer comes in handy in the episode's last third. Making Amy a member of the Endangered Species Council was a natural, funny way to get her involved in this story. Sonic getting evicted because of the hideous slime-sow is a lot funnier coming out of Amy's upbeat mouth. Eggman and even Fastidious Beaver made me chuckle a few times. And Knuckles gets some really strong jokes, such as the reveal that he's been hiding under Tails' porch for weeks. This show is really running with the idea that Knuckles is homeless, isn't it? I guess that is what happens when you take a brotherman's floating island away from him...

"Do Not Disturb" proves to be a jam-packed, joke dense ten minutes that still feels like it tells a complete story. I can't help but give Peter Saisselin most of the credit for that. He was already an industry veteran by this point, getting his start as – of all things – an assistant accountant on big budget movies like "Another 48 Hrs.," "The Naked Gun 33 1/3," and "Cutthroat Island." In animation, he had already written for obscure shows like "Creepschool," "Zombie Hotel," and "Dude, That's My Ghost!" before this. (Damn, he couldn't have fit a werewolf or vampire into this one?) This wasn't even his first hedgehog related cartoon, having also written four episodes of whatever this furry Tai Yagami lookin' abomination is. My point is: Industry lifers like that know how to structure a damn screenplay and that is obvious in "Do Not Disturb's" sturdiness. And there's even a Sanic reference! Fun for the whole fandom. [8/10]