Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 16

 
Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 16
Publication Date: August 1994

Look at that, a cover that actually relates to the story within! This is only the fourth time that’s happened in the comic’s run but, from now on, would become business as usual. Took ‘em long enough. Also, Sally’s hair is finally red, which also took way longer then it should have. And Uncle Chuck and Muttski are actual robots, instead of simply hypnotized! Robotropis is now consistently a hellish city scape. Now if only this comic didn't seemingly forget Bunnie was a main character. Otherwise, we’d actually have a status qua.

Well, the cover is slightly misleading, as it looks like Sonic and friends have been miniaturized again. Instead, the glass they’re under is much more insidious. Using a very stupid plan that involves the promise of unlimited chili dogs and sleeping gas, Robotnik has captured the Freedom Fighters. Instead of just murdering them right then and there, a conclusion so obvious even Crabmeat makes it, Robotnik has captured the Mobians in a virtual reality machine, where they are stuck in an idealized existence, perfectly content and unable to topple Robotnik as he crushes the real world.

Considering Robotnik is still kind of a klutz at this point, this is actually a surprisingly, genuinely evil plan. It’s not practical, no, but it shows a sadism on the villain’s behalf that hasn’t been explored much yet. Peanders and Kanterovich have an opportunity to explore the characters’ wants, dreams, and secrets desires. And they sort of do that. The story begins with Robotnik defeated and the heroes celebrating, a decent fake-out opening. From there, Sonic and Sally immediately get married, which is presumably a G-rated version of what two 16-year-olds' actual utmost desires would be. (It’s also another example of Penders’ willingness to explore romance in a kid’s comic. Some people hate this but I don’t mind.) Next, Sonic gets Uncle Chuck and Muttski back. The comic reveals very quickly what is actually happening and it would’ve been easy to figure out anyway. But it’s still a fairly daring place to start, for this series.

What inevitably happens in all stories like this happens next. Sonic begins to realize something isn’t right, that it’s too perfect. He immediately plans to return to the real world but wonders if it’s worth it, if it’s right for him to pull his friends out of a paradise of their own making. A better comic would have explored this dilemma, one Sonic can't solve with his speed or wits, more. Because this is a kid’s comic, it takes him all of a page to make up his mind. The ending to “Sonic Under Glass” is borderline incoherent, as Sonic hacks into Robotnik’s computers from inside the simulation, turning his war machines against him. It’s a disappointing end to a plot that showed a lot more promise. It’s not exactly “For the Man Who Has Everything” but for a few pages, it looked like Archie’s “Sonic” might have gotten a little more cerebral.

I have a lot less to say about the second story, “The Man from H.E.D.G.E.H.O.G.” (Wouldn’t “The Hedgehog from U.N.C.L.E.” made more sense?) Robotnik creates a wheel with random schemes on it, figuring unpredictability could work in his favor. All of this is to root out the mole that’s spying on him for the Freedom Fighters. Anyway, it doesn’t work, Sonic and friends easily foiling each plot.

Despite the title, the story isn’t really a Sonic-fied riff on spy movies. There’s some lame call-outs to the various Bond movies. Sonic and Sally stop by a casino, briefly play a card game that certainly doesn’t look like Baccarat, before Sonic dodges a razor-edged hat. But that’s about it. Mostly, the story is devoted to random pop culture references unlikely to be understood by the target audience. Someone who looks a lot like Winnie the Pooh puts in a single panel appearance. Penders paraphrases the Shadow again, with a note that reads “Who Knows What Evil Lurks in the Hearts of Robots.” Another note reading “The Owls Are Not What They Seem” later appears. Yes, that’s a “Twin Peaks” reference in a Sonic comic. How much more random could you get? Mostly, the story delivers silly slapstick and lame visual puns. It also introduces Harvey Who, a character that would appear here and not appear again for eighteen years. (I honestly think everyone but Ian Flynn had forgotten about him.) In his first panel, he makes a Tootsie Pop joke. Yeesh.

So Issue 16 starts off promising but ultimately ends in the middling zone. So it goes. [6/10]