Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 134

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 134
Publication Date: March 2004

There are a number of infamous issues throughout the long run of Archie's “Sonic” book. Some are notorious for their lack of quality, like “Sonic Live!” or “Naugus Game.” Others are infamous for the events they depict, like Sally's apparent death in issue 47. Or this one, for example. Issue 134 contains what some fans have taken to calling “The Smack Heard Around the Fandom.” As a die hard Sonic/Sally shipper, it shouldn't come as a shock that I fucking hate that widely loathed event. Is the story around this controversial decision worth salvaging?

The epilogue of “Home” - subtitled “Say You Will,” because what Sonic book is complete without a Foreigner reference? - is exactly that. This issue is directly concerned with the fall-out of the “Home” arc. Sonic spends some time around Knothole, reconnecting with old friends and discovering some of the events that have changed.

“Say You Will” could've had a similar function as the first part of “Home,” an emotional story devoted to Sonic reconnecting with his friends and love ones. And technically it is, though in the most awkward way possible. For most of the page count, the hedgehog regurgitates things the readers already know. Such as explaining to his parents why Jules is still a robot while all the other Robians are now organic. Or telling Tails that his parents still live, though on the other end of the universe. (Of course, the answer to both of these questions is the rather uninspiring “aliens.”)

“Say You Will” does attempt to explain some of the changes that have occurred while Sonic was away for a year. Bunnie and Antoine have naturally drifted apart, the war with Eggman apparently changing the coyote. That's not a very satisfying explanation but, okay, sure. It'll do until the actual, far more insipid answer is revealed. As for the new changes: Dr. Quack is now sporting an eye patch, after stepping on a landmine. Mina now has a boyfriend, her asshole manager Ash, despite still singing songs about Sonic. Knuckles explains why the hell he's hanging out around Knothole. Turns out Robotnik took over Angel Island a while ago.

It's all fine and good, I guess, but not the thing anyone remembers about this issue. In “Say You Will,” Karl Bollers finalizes the despicable character derailing Sally Acorn has suffered for a while. On Mina's stage, in front of all of Knothole, Sally gives Sonic an ultimatum. Either retire from field duty and stay with her in wedded bliss or say goodbye to their relationship. Sonic refuses to quit fighting Robotnik, causing the Princess to smack him in the face and terminate their engagement.

This is absolute bullshit, you guys. Complete bullocks. Total fucking horse dookie. Why the fuck would Karl break up Sonic and Sally after finally letting the two officially become a couple just a few issues ago? And, if he had to break them up, why do it in such a stupid fashion? It could've been more natural. Maybe after thinking he was dead for a year, Sally is afraid of loosing Sonic again. Instead, it makes the Princess seem clingy and manipulative. Sonic so easily making this decision also makes him look like a callous asshole.

And it's so hard to believe. Once upon a time, Sonic and Sally would fight side-by-side on the battle field. The two risking their lives wasn't a problem back then! What the fuck happened, aside from bad writing? The Dork Age has been upon us for quite some time but this slap signaled the comic's most extreme downward spiral.

So how about that back-up story? Ken Penders' “25 Years Later” keeps going with “In Transit.” Knuckles and Rotor's meeting in the park is interrupted when he spots Lien-Da's son spying on them, the kid coming upon the secret meeting while making out with his girlfriend. Concerned about what he might have learned, Knuckles returns to Haven, spying on his enemy instead of his daughter. Meanwhile, Rotor and Cobar continue to hint ominously towards upcoming bad juju.

Once again, the plot is the least interesting thing about this story. Instead, “In Transit” is full of cute moments between parents and children. In Haven, we see Grandfather Sabre is infirm while Spectre and Sojourner are seemingly unaged. This leads to an especially hilarious panel, perhaps unintentionally. When Knuckles mentions that Julie-Su insisted he never spy on Lara-Su, Sojourner expresses bafflement. Invading people's privacy is such an ingrained part of the Brotherhood, that they literally can not understand why anyone would object to it. It sort of seems like Ken is poking fun at his own writing here but who's to say? I also like Lien-Da's continued characterization as a doting mother, who is more interested in her son getting to second base with his girlfriend than in any pertinent information he may be carrying.

In addition to being a fun story, “In Transit” also looks amazing. It might have been this point that Steven Butler surpass Manny Galan as my favorite Knuckles artist. What about the cover story? It's drawn by newcomer Jon Gray. Some folks love Gray's artwork. I, personally, can't stand it. I was in high school when this issue came out and, reading it, Gray's pencil couldn't help but remind me of the shit girls I knew doodled on their notebooks. It's extremely loose, characters bending in all sorts of ridiculous, exaggerated ways. There's no interior cohesion to Gray's work, the cast members sloppily changing shape at a moment's notice. Gray's ridiculous artwork also undermines what should've been a fairly serious story. That's another reason the slap is so notorious. Gray draws it with the biggest, most oversized emotions possible.

For the first time, I think I have to rate the cover story and the backstory on different scales. “In Transit” is my favorite edition of “25 Years Later” thus far, a funny, charming story. It gets a [7/10.] The cover story would just be another mediocre Karl Bollers joint, awkward plotting choking out the smoothness, it if wasn't for the odious treatment of Sally. For totally assassinating everything lovable about the People's Princess, “Say You Will” gets a [2/10.]