Sonic Universe: Issue 80

Sonic Universe: Issue 80
Publication Date: September 2015

How long have I been reviewing “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic books? Four years or something? In all that time, I’ve written thousands of words about this stupid franchise. It hasn’t always been easy. Some issues do not inspire me to say much. Neither good nor bad, these mediocre issues don’t provide me with much material to talk about. “Sonic Universe” #80 is such an issue. It’s not awful, it’s not good, but there’s not much reason for me to care about it. But let’s see if I can squeeze out approximately 900 some words about this one anyway.

We return to Onyx City for the second part of “The Silver Age.” Professor Von Schlemmer wants to prevents Silver’s telekinetic powers to the Council. The hedgehog, however, gets stage fright and can’t perform. While he’s there, he does hear a voice compelling him to return that night. After Von Schlemmer shows him some of his useless inventions, they come back to the science building that night. They meet with Gold the Tenrec, a Council member concerned about their plans. Everyone soon gets captured and the bad guys use Gold’s own psychic abilities to intentionally open a Genesis Portal.

As I’ve said in the recent past, Silver’s tendency to screw up but keep trying is what made me like him. Evan Stanley seems to have gotten that idea a little mixed up. Here, Silver is surrounded by incompetence. Yeah, Silver screws up when he doesn’t show his powers to the Council. But that was probably for the best, considering how obviously evil those guys are. During the night time meeting, Von Schlemmer’s inability to use his inside voice gets the gang noticed. That character continues to prove himself unhelpful, as his inventions are delightfully eccentric while simultaneously being a complete waste of time. Gold isn’t very good at hiding her intentions, as the Council immediately discovers what’s up and captures her. This is a story propelled forward by the heroes making dumb mistakes.

This issue introduces Gold the Tenrec. (A tenrec is a hedgehog-y thing that isn’t technically a hedgehog.) Like a lot of post-reboot introductions, Gold has a fan following. Evan Stanley certainly gives her a personality. Gold clearly has self-worth problems. After she totally fucks everything up, she repeatedly apologizes. Beyond that, Stanley keeps her motivations somewhat vague, Gold simply saying she wants more from her life than what the Council can offer. Her name certainly suggests she was meant to partner with Silver in some way... Though not romantically, as Stanley claims she wrote the character as gay. What I’m saying is I don’t dislike Gold but we don’t learn enough about her here for me to like her or not.

That’s not the only introduction made in this issue, though it’s the only one of any value. We also meet the Bits in this issue, little robots that Von Schlemmer invented. They look like Sonic for no particular reasons, apparently being inspired by some bonus mode from “Sonic Colors.” How Van Schlemmer, being far in the future, is aware of Sonic’s significance, I don’t know. They are little, cute things that float around and make nuisances of themselves, speaking in binary and messing shit up. Yes, the Bits are yet more Cute, Small, Annoying Things, a character type this book has an abundance of. Other than helping Von Schlemmer around his lab, they do nothing. I would assume they were introduced solely as a thing toys could be made of, if Archie and Sega had ever bothered merchandising this series in anyway.

About the only thing I kind of like about this issue is the Council’s actions in the last act. After capturing Silver, Von Schlemmer, and Gold, they force a mask over Gold’s face. She starts to scream and freak out, her psychic powers being drained to open a portal. Von Schlemmer accurately identifies this as torture. The Council comes into their own as villains, amoral and ruthless, willing to do anything to further their goals. They don’t care that Gokd is hurting. They don’t care that opening a Genesis Portal could be detrimental to the city. They just care about extending their powers. Those are all good aspects for villains to have.

Tracy Yardley is still doing pencils. As usual, his artwork is perfectly fine without really distinguishing itself. I do like some of the later panels, when the trio are sneaking around the darkened science institute. The only real issue I have with Yardley’s artwork here is a scene where Von Schlemmer explains the origins of the Genesis Portals. You might notice that this is the exact same scene that appeared in the FCBD special a few months before. Not only is the dialogue recycled, Yardley redraws each of the frames originally drawn by Andrew Bryce Thomas. I can’t tell if that’s lazy, unnecessary, or both. Would just straight-up reusing Thomas’ page been better or worst? I honestly don’t know.

Two parts in and “The Silver Age” is still rubbing me the wrong way. Evan Stanley’s characters continued to be defined mostly by gimmicks. (Such as Von Schlemmer’s accent, which rises to excruciating levels here.) Her narrative continues to rely too much on contrivances and happenstance. “The Silver Age” still has time to get better but I’m kind of guessing it won’t. [5/10]