Monday, March 22, 2021

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.50: Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme



Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.50: Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme
Original Air Date: October 28, 1993

In case you were wondering how much my younger self fit the socially withdrawn nerd stereotype, I too was an Egypt kid. While it never burned as bright as many of my other fixations and fascinations, I always thought ancient Egyptian culture and mythology was pretty cool and spent a lot of time reading about it as a kid. I may or may not have even kept an ankh keychain on my backpack in fifth grade. Regardless of what this says about my social standing among my peers, I think lots of kids go through an Egypt phase. Which may be why the third episode of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog's" Quest for the Chaos Emeralds arc was set in ancient Egypt... Sort of. 

In a surprising bit of continuity, this episode begins right where the last one left off: Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder dropped into a Roman coliseum while still locked in their medieval stocks. They escape quickly, jump in the time machine, and head back to ancient Mobigypt. There, Robotnik attempts to interrupt Sonic's ancestor, Masonic the humble bricklayer, from falling in love with a female hedgehog named Penelope. His very existence threatened, Sonic goes back in time with Dr. Caninestein's new time traveling boogie board. Once insuring that his greatx100 grandfather scores, Sonic gets down to the business of stopping Robotnik from retrieving the Chaos Emerald of Immortality. 


This is why I said this episode was sort of set in ancient Egypt. Much like the King Arthur episode, "AoStH" presents a goofy, Sonic-ified funny animal version of our Earthly past. (Humans and animal people do not seem to have integrated at this point in Mobius history, as Robotnik and his ancestors are the only people present.) Aside from the trappings of pyramids, mummies, and eyeliner, there's no attempt to blend actual Egyptian history into Sonic's world. Sonic's ancestor being named "Masonic" is a cute pun but off by a couple hundred years. While Scratch later dresses as the properly Egyptian Horus, Grounder is dressed like a Lamassu, a creature from Sumerian mythology. There's a gag about a flying carpet, which is an Arabian thing. At one point, Robotnik's chariot spouts spikes from its wheels, a "Ben-Hur" reference. "Ben-Hur," by the way, is set around the crucifixion of Christ, about a thousand years after ancient Egypt as we think of it. Masonic and Penelope – a Greek name – get married in a very Christian-like ceremony. Not that I'd expect accuracy from this show – chili dog stands also existed in ancient Mobigypt – but writer Jeffrey Scott really didn't do his research. 

I will give Scott credit for introducing the Grandfather Paradox into this dumbass kids show. At the episode's beginning, Caninestein warns Sonic that his ancestors are disappearing, Marty McFly-style. After Sonic goes back in time, he accidentally cockblocks his greatx100 grandfather and briefly fades out of existence. Which is a pretty wild theoretical concept for Scott to introduce to kids. The show kind of looks like it might be going down the "Futurama" route, since Sonic sets his eyes on Penelope first and he looks almost identical to Masonic. (Jaleel White voices both, only pitching his voice up slightly for Masonic.) That probably would've blown the kids' minds too much, so Scott is satisfied playing with events in the past affecting events in the future. 


If the idea of Sonic's ancestors absolutely having to get together to ensure the future is safe gives you predeterminism vibes, we're not done yet. While dropped into Ancient Rome, Robotnik encounters his identical ancestor, Julius Robotnik. (Who, in a good gag, is also a huge asshole.) Obviously, Masonic and Sonic are almost indistinguishable. The tomb of Robotnikhotep not only contains Robotnik's mummified ancestor but a mummified counterpart for Sonic too. The final gag of the episode reveals a blue hedgehog fought in a World War I-like setting as well. Is the entirety of Mobius history made up of mustachioed, rotund men and fast blue hedgehogs fighting? Was Julius Robotnik dethroned by a rebelling slave named Sonicacus? Is Sonic and Robotnik's rivalry simply the latest chapter of a conflict that has been playing out for thousands of years? All signs seem to point to "yes." Scott does not explore the ramifications of this reveal but it is certainly an interesting one. 

These are not the only far-out ideas "Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme" causally throws around. Previously, I stated two Chaos Emeralds having the power of Invincibility and Immortality seemed a little redundant. This episode depicts the immortal Robotnikhotep as physically impossible to harm, similar to the effects of the Invincibility Emerald. Yet he's also clarified as living forever, untouchable even to age, which seems to be the distinction. Interestingly enough, the episode also depicts immortality as a curse. Upon handing Robotnik the emerald, Robotnikhotep thanks him before crumbling into dust. The joke here seems to be that Robotnikhotep has spent entirely being pestered by the unnamed Sonic mummy, and is thus thankful for the escape of oblivion. But it's a pretty dark idea to introduce into a kids show, that death is good and living forever sucks. 


As if this episode wasn't random enough, Scott also chooses this setting to introduce more elements from the original "Sonic" game. The interior of Robotnikhotep's pyramid is patterned after "Sonic 1's" Marble Zone. Huge stone weights and giant spikes platforms fall from the ceilings of the pyramid's stone tunnels. At one point, Sonic and friends must push a stone block onto a river of lava and float atop it. (This further muddles the historical setting, as the Marble Zone was based on Greek architecture.) Later, Sonic's mummy lookalike gives him a magical blue shield to protect him against Robotnik, similar to the classic shield power-up. Lastly, there's even a moment where Scratch and Grounder have to grab gold rings... Is this, the fiftieth episode, the first time "AoStH" has referenced the Power Rings, that most iconic of classic "Sonic" elements? What took 'em so long?

Lastly, I must note that this episode is also pretty horny. After all, ensuring Sonic's ancestor gets laid is a prominent plot point. By now, it's clear that each of these episodes will start with Sonic trying to score some strange on the beach. While attempting to impress a Miss Possum lookalike in a bikini, Dr. Caninestein appears to distract Sonic, which the hedgehog is pretty pissed about. In Ancient Mobigypt, Scratch dresses in drag in an attempt to seduce Masonic. He even asks the hedgehog is he wants to "lay some bricks," an innuendo suggestive enough to get this scene cut from the Toon Disney reruns. And because this show can never be not-freaky, a minor character's feet is tickled with a feather and Robotnik and friends are later mummified. I swear, I'm not a pervert, this show is.


While it's hard to say if "Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme" is a funny episode or not, it's certainly too bizarre and interesting to be dismissed either. If nothing else, it's a big step-up from "The Hedgehog of the "Hound" Table." Will the Quest for the Chaos Emeralds conclude in a suitably epic/gonzo fashion? Hurry back soon to find out. [7/10]

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