Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.64: Robo-Ninjas

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.64: Robo-Ninjas

Original Air Date: November 29, 1993

America's cultural fascination with ninjas is a fairly recent one. The roots of our (patronizing at-best, horribly racist at-worst) fixation on Asian mysticism dates back to the late 1800s, evolving through the Charlie Chans and Fu Manshus, before climaxing with Bruce Lee and the martial arts movie boom of the 1970s. It was inevitable that the ninja, those mysterious assassins of Feudal Japan, would appeal to a country hungry for Asian exoticism and elaborate asskickery. (The ninja is so mysterious that almost everything we associate with them is bullshit.) A horde of ninja movies, video games, and comic books would appear in the eighties. The massive popularity of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would extend this already juvenile fascination even further into the decade of my youth. Considering the "Sonic" franchise modeled certain aspects of itself after the TMNT, it's not surprising that "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" would eventually attempt to put its own spin on whatever passes for "ninjas" over here. 

Which brings us to episode sixty-four of the show, "Robo-Ninjas." Scratch and Grounder set up another easily foiled trap for Sonic and Tails. After this inevitably fails to work, the robots stumble upon a wandering martial arts master named Kwan Chang Crane. Robotnik witnesses Crane easily defeat his minions and gets an idea. He captures Crane and pumps his knowledge into Scratch and Grounder's heads. This makes them "Robo-Ninjas," threats so dangerous that Sonic is nearly overwhelmed. Soon, Sonic and Tails encounter Grasshopper, Crane's student, and set out to rescue him.

The Sonic News Network Wiki page for this episode notes that it was not shown on Toon Disney for "unknown reasons." I'm pretty sure I've figured out what those reasons are: This cartoon is kind of racist! First off, Kwai Chang Crane and Grasshopper are parodies of the TV show "Kung-Fu." That was a show about Chinese martial arts while the ninja is a Japanese concept. That's far from the worst part. Crane spouts nonsensical, faux-Asian philosophical statements throughout, a dicey gag. Mostly, this episode is really uncomfortable because of the fake Asian lisps the voice actors affect. Yes, after being zapped with Crane's knowledge, Scratch and Grounder begin to speak with very poor chop-sockey accents. Sonic is not spared from this offense either. He refers to  "chow main" and egg fu young as martial arts style and puts on Crane's rice-patty hat in the final scene. 

It's all really uncomfortable, to say the least! Having your cartoon characters dress up as ninjas is one thing but having everyone do audio yellow face, while cracking cultural insensitive wordplay, is another. The episode quickly approaches Mickey Rooney in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" territory. And, ya know, it didn't have to be this bad. With a little tinkering, this script actually could've been subversive. Robotnik looks at the Asian philosophy Crane espouses and only sees another form of butt-kicking. He's totally unwilling to understand what the martial arts master actually means. Moreover, Scratch and Grounder adopt Asian mannerisms but inevitably make fools of themselves. This could've been an episode making fun of assholes who fixate on their shallow understandings of Chinese and Japanese disciplines, who see a style and not a culture. Instead, it falls back on offensive stereotypes for easy jokes. 

And, ya know, If it wasn't for the casual racism... This probably would've been a good episode. The ninja gimmick gives Scratch and Grounder an actual power boost. They successfully catch Sonic off-guard in one scene. They even see through his old disguise set-up. A flurry of shurikens run Sonic and Tails off. Another moment has Tails nearly being captured. A pair of enemies that Sonic has humiliated countless times suddenly overpowering him is a pretty good idea for an episode! You could've done this exact same set-up without the embarrassing ninja cosplay and all the cultural baggage it brings with it. 

It's not just the idea that could've been salvaged here. "Robo-Ninjas" actually has some funny jokes in it. Kwai Chang Crane's philosophical mish-mush is a Not Okay indulging of Asian stereotypes... But the way it continuously baffles Robotnik is kind of funny. The doctor asking Crane to clarify one of his parables got a laugh out of me. So did a moment where Coconuts asks Sonic if he thinks he's stupid, the hedgehog replying with a blunt "Yes." On the other hand, this episode relies on the "Sonic puts on a wacky disguise" gag too much. He does that five times in this episode, including a really random moment where he dresses up as Beethoven, I guess. 

Honestly, the racial stereotypes this episode indulges in makes me so uncomfortable, that I feel like I'm probably not qualified to write about it. We really need some Asian-American "Sonic" nerds to weigh in on this one. And, Jesus Christ, "Sonic" is a Japanese franchise! Couldn't the show runners have asked someone at Sega if this was okay? Or at least had them clarify that kung-fu and ninjas are from two different countries! And I'm not even really mad at this specific episode – the "AoSth" writers were, as always, too rushed and lazy to worry about things like racism – so much as I'm mad at the entire culture that let casually dehumanizing shit like this happen in the first place. Anyway, I'll reel in my guilty white conscience and just rate this one a great big ol' [oof/10].