Sonic Underground, Episode 1.19: The Jewel of the Crown

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.19: The Jewel of the Crown

Original Air Date: September 23rd, 1999

I'm finally past the halfway point with "Sonic Underground" and it's only taken me three months to get there. You, the reader, won't realize this as I'm writing this review several months before it's scheduled to go up. Yet my habit of watching an episode of this show daily has slipped a lot. 2021 has been a year full of personal and emotional challenges. I'm not saying trying to watch and write about "Sonic Underground" everyday has added to my depression – though maybe I am? – but this has been a pretty tedious experience so far. Now, at least I'm far closer to the end than before.

"The Jewel of the Crown" begins with Manic piloting a mechanical/spying device into Robotnik's inner most chamber. He reveals a plan to retrieve Queen Alena's crown jewel, which has recently gone up for sale and supposedly glows the closer to the Queen it is. Dingo sits on the spy-bug just before the name of the merchant is revealed, forcing Sonic, Sonia, and Manic to track the guy down in the city of Emporium. They manage to grab the jewel and get it away from Sleet and Dingo. The flashing crystal does not lead them to their mom but into a more perilous situation instead. 

There's not a lot about "The Jewel of the Crown" that interests me but one scene was kind of funny. After hearing about the jewel, Sonic and his siblings discuss how they'll retrieve it. Since they don't have the funds to simply buy the jewel, Manic suggests stealing it. The others insist this is immoral... Before Sonic suggests that the Queen would never sell her crown, so it must've been stolen from her. A short debate follows about whether stealing a stolen item back, to return to its rightful owner, is morally right or not. The disconnect in this show's need to teach common sense values to kids while also having a kleptomaniac as a main character has never been more apparent. It's also kind of funny, the siblings bickering about ethics. Sadly, the moral logistics of ownership and theft is dropped soon afterwards. 

Mostly, "The Jewel of the Crown" strikes me as a sloppily written episode, even by the hastily scribbled standards of this show. After the heroes get their hands on the gem, it leads them into a weird tunnel in the jungle. They don't find their mom inside but a decoy with a camera. The tunnel is then reveled to be the innards of a massive carnivorous plant. Apparently, this was meant to be some sort of trap for Robotnik but I'm not sure how the hell this was supposed to work. It's repeatedly emphasized that the jewel only glows when it's near Alena. So why did it glow in proximity to this decoy? Since the Queen is always watching over her kids, why didn't she intervene when they stumbled into her trap? The jewel dealer, who was in on the whole thing, goes out of his way to not sell the jewel to Sleet and Dingo. Finally, why try and lead Robotnik into the belly of a giant plant? Why not just, I don't know, shoot him or something? 

The episode concludes by Sonic and his siblings talking about what a strategic genius their mom is but this is some real galaxy brain level planning here. Must Queen Alena do everything in the most convoluted, ass-backwards fashion possible? (Considering the final scene is Alena watching her kids from afar and monologing on fate and hope to nobody in particular, I'm thinking she really is a huge weirdo.) But we all know the real reason why this story doesn't make much sense: Mark Edens was under a ridiculous deadline and had to crank out and turn in whatever half-nonsensical script he could. This is why you don't force your creative team to write two episodes a week, kids. 

Yet its senseless last act is still not the weirdest thing about this episode. During the wacky chase through the city with Sleet and Dingo, Sonic defeats the duo by... Filling their vehicle full of olive oil? This scene is then followed by the two wolves splashing around in the slimy substance. The fact that it's explicitly specified to be olive oil, and not just water or mud or whatever, is weird. Later, while escaping the giant plant, the duo are again covered and smothered, this time by some sort of tree sap. This is at least the second episode to feature sequences like this. I hate to always assume that "Sonic" cartoons are made by perverts but it's increasingly looking like someone who worked on "Sonic Underground" had a "gunge" fetish, a paraphilia that genuinely grosses me out. Well, at least it wasn't feet this time... 

The cherry on this dumb, messy sundae is another soul-crushing song. The city of Emporium seems inspired by Indian culture. There's a weird crab-like snake charmer with cobras with antenna. Everyone wears turbans. Just to make sure this is more offensive, Sonic and the gang perform a crudely "Indian" musical number, with painful vocals and melodies. "The Cosmic Dance" has lyrics referencing yoga, laying on a bed of nails, and MC Hammer pants. Sonic and Manic put on turbans while Sonia slinks around in a belly dancer outfit. I suppose there are worst stereotypes the show could've included – thankfully, nobody drives a cab or reference call centers – but this is still pretty unfortunate. A visually obnoxious hourglass filter is placed over nearly the entire number, making it hard to look at as well as listen to.

The only other thing I can think to say  about this episode is that there are several weirdly fluid moments of animation, alongside more typically twitchy cartooning. I don't know why that is. Anyway, it's another dreadful twenty-one minutes. But at least I only have eighteen more of these left to go. [4/10]