Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 104

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 104
Publication Date: November 2001

And we’re back. Instead of devoting one issue to Mike Gallagher and Jim Valentino’s two man circle-jerk (digon-jerk?), Archie felt the need to stretch the gag out for two issues. The Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy wouldn’t be dumb joke characters tossed around for a single issue and then quickly forgotten. They were destined to be dumb joke characters tossed around for two issues and then quickly forgotten. Let’s get this over with.

At the end of the last issue, Sonic and Tailon’s acceptance into the superhero team was interrupted by some asshole called the Silver Snively. The Freedom Fighters battle him for a bit before the chrome surfer flies off. The team regroups aboard a space ship just in time for Robolactus – a planet devouring decedents of Robotnik – descends on the planet. Thus begins a tedious fight between superheroes and supervillains.

At least I actually recognize some of the characters being parodied this time. While the ‘90s version of the Guardians of the Galaxy are mostly forgotten, every person even mildly into comics knows who the Silver Surfer and Galactus are. I don’t know if the Guardians ever fought these guys but, cosmic Marvel being what it is, they’ve probably met at some point. Mashing these two characters up with Snively and Robotnik isn’t very inspired. Snively has nothing in common with the philosophical Silver Surfer. Combining Robotnik and Galactus in service of a big fat joke is such an obvious idea that Archie actually did it already. Issue 38’s terrible Fantastic Four spoof featured Robotnicus, a character who utilized the exact same lame gag.

I complained that the first installment of “Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy” barely classified as a parody, as it was very short on jokes. The second part, to its credit, at least features element identifiable as humorous. They aren’t funny at all but at least they’re jokes. For example, Robolactus digest planets with a giant juicer. When Hawkhawk flies towards space, he kicks up a cloud of smoke that makes his team members cough. Sonic mistakes mircochips for potato chips, coughing up the devices after chewing on them. Antoine’s mangling of the word “how” is mistaken for “ow,” prompting a character to ask if he hurt himself. So, yes, the jokes are terrible. But at least Gallagher was actually trying to be funny.

The blending of cosmic Marvel superheroes and Sonic the Hedgehog is still incredibly awkward. Hawkhawk is a terrible character who makes repeated references to his all-knowing nose. One panel bluntly explains what his real name is, for some reason. The dialogue is full of heavy-handed nonsense like that. Saleta mentions, in passing, that she shares some magical abilities with Hawkhawk. Later, she talks about making space suits out of light molecules for everybody. Robotlactus’ nature is explained thanks to a documentary. Tailon generates four leaf clovers at one point. It’s very apparent that these two series do not mate gently or successfully.

Not that anybody really cares but the ending sucks too. The Freedom Fighters attempt to deflect Robolactus’ attempts to eat their planet. He successfully deflects each attack, the entity proving too powerful for the team. So how do they defeat him? They, uh, don’t. Instead, the Silver Snively grows to giant size, explains that this planet isn’t worth eating, and points Robolactus towards the home world of the Sharks, the previously established evil race of aliens. The Freedom Fighters are fine with this and cheer the villain on as he commits genocide. That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?

I’m guessing Jim Valentino had more important things to do then goof on his cult classic creation for a licensed kids’ book. Valentino did not return to draw part two. Instead, penciling duties are handed over to Dawn Best. Best had been doing okay work for Ken’s Knuckles stories but her illustrations so far seemed slightly rushed and somewhat sloppy. She does much better here. Sally and Bunnie’s superhero personas look awesome as drawn by Best. She handles the action scenes alright. The characters are colorful and expressive. Even Hawkhawk, who has a deeply lame design, looks okay. Best could probably be better used somewhere else but at least she makes this really dumb story look nice.

In the back pages, we continue to get a reprieve from the on-going saga of Chaos Knuckles. Instead, the Downunda Freedom Fighters’ search for the Bunyip continues. Their quest brings them to a drained lake bed. The four gather around a campfire while Guru Emu explains that bunyip’s origin. While the bird is in a trance, the monster surfaces. The creature attacks and kidnaps the other Freedom Fighters. When Guru Emu awakens, he’s alone, tracking the creature to a near-by dam.

Mike Gallagher has really been leaning on exposition here of late. Far too much of “Sadly Myth Taken’s” second half is devoted to Guru Emu dryly detailing what a bunyip is. The dirty hippy goes on about the creature’s mythological roots. It’s as if Gallagher was really impressed with himself, drawing on actual Aboriginal mythology for his goofy story. The action scenes aren’t much to write about. The bunyip is so large that it forces Dave Manak to draw the characters very small, creating a serious lack of detail. The bunyip itself is an uninspired creation, a big, grey, and indistinct creature with trees growing out of his head.

A part of me really wants to hate this two-parter. Archie disturbing the flow of the story to goof around for two issues should be annoying. That the story itself is so lame and pointless should also frustrate me. But it doesn’t, possibly because any escape from the high-strung plotting and melodrama of the book’s Dork Age is welcomed. It’s crap but a different flavor of crap from what we’ve been getting recently. Consider that the faintest of faint praise. Click the picture above for more goofballery. [5/10]