Friday, March 24, 2017

THE 2001 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG COMIC BEST/WORST LIST


Being an Archie “Sonic” fan means being patient. While the comic’s quality varied wildly over its first eight years, there was usually one or two really good story from each twelve month period. But 2001 began a rapid decline in quality that the book wouldn’t fully recover from until new writers finally came on-board, five years later. It was the start of what fans like to refer to as the Dork Age.

2001 was such an egregiously bad year for the comic that Dan Drazen – who began the best/worst list tradition – refused to award any of that year’s stories. Instead of writing a best/worst list, he published a “from bad to worst” list. It would be tempting for me to do something similar but I like to look on the bright side. Surely, something good emerged from Archie’s “Sonic” series in 2001? Right?

This was also the first year in quite some time were the only “Sonic” stuff Archie published was the main book, as 2000 saw the last spin-off title being shuttered. Which does, truthfully, make my job a little easier. Only 14 issues are covered in this retrospective and they are:

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 92-105













BEST COVER STORY:
Karl Bollers, "Crime 'N Punishment" (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 93)

There weren’t very many stand-out cover stories this year but issue 93’s “Crime ‘N Punishment” was one of the few that I enjoyed without too many reservations. The story focuses on Sonic’s interior life, his guilt over his recent mistakes, and how much he misses his girlfriend. One of the year’s best moment has Sonic imaging an ideal reunion with Sally, which reality does not live up to. This is also one of the few issues that handle the building relationship between Sonic and Mina in a decent way, as the two youths have a sweet encounter. And while the subplots aren’t handled as well, they don’t totally throw the story off balance like they would in the future.














WORST COVER STORY:
Karl Bollers, "The Messenger" (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 96)

Worst cover story presented far more options. 92’s “The Wrath of Khan” brought Monkey Khan back into the story for no reason. 97’s “My Secret Identity” had everyone acting like an idiot or an asshole. But issue 96’s “The Messenger” wins the dubious honor of my least favorite story from 2001.

“The Messenger” juggles some of the year’s worst ideas. Geoffrey St. John’s investigation is so inept that it becomes unintentionally hilarious. The main plot point, concerning Kodos and the Sword of Acorn, rambles ahead, pointlessly. Sally is reduced to pinning for Sonic, while Mina awkwardly hits on the hedgehog. Nobody notices that Tails is missing. It concludes with a ridiculous fight scene in the high school, involving a robot that shouldn’t be violent acting violent. It’s really dumb.













BEST BACK STORY:
Michael Gallagher, "Myth Taken Identity: Part One" (Sonic the Hedgehog: 103)

The first part of “Myth Taken Identity” wins not because it’s a great story that rises above the rest. It basically wins by default, being one of the few back-up stories this year I didn’t totally hate. The comedy gags, involving potential candidates for the Downunda Freedom Fighters with pun names, are embarrassing. The origin story provided for the Freedom Fighters is rushed but at least it’s interesting, providing back story for characters we have a mild connection with. It’s not a lot but I’ll take what I can get.





















WORST BACK STORY:
Ken Penders, "Life's Realities" (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 102)

To give you an idea of how bad Archie’s back-up story game was in 2001, I nominated seven different stories for this category. All of which came from the pen of Ken Penders, in case you were wondering. Yet one stinker rose to the top of the trash heap. “Life’s Realities,” from issue 102 of “Sonic,” was easily the dumbest story the company published all year. Knuckles uses his god-like powers not to crush his enemies but to travel back in time. After the first try, he discovers the horrible side effects of time travel. Despite this, he tries the same strategy two more times. When the Guardian isn’t bumbling through history, Dimitri lectures him with word bubbles stuffed with techno-babble. This story genuinely made me angry.



















BEST STORY ARC:
Michael Gallagher, "Myth Taken Identity" (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 103-105)

Again, “Myth Taken Identity” wasn’t that good of a story arc. It was actually quite mediocre, overly reliant on exposition and stiff dialogue. Guru Emu, previously noted as 1995’s worst new character, is more-or-less the protagonist of this story. Which, you know, isn’t a great idea.

Despite these problems, “Myth Taken Identity” still does some things right. It’s short, firstly, running only three issues. It also has a kind of interesting ending, with the characters talking out their problems instead of fighting about them. It’s still a really jumbled up, uneven story but it does get points for doing some things differently.



WORST STORY ARC:
Ken Penders, The Chaos Knuckles Saga (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issues 93-97, 99-102)

This category’s “winner,” however, I had no problem deciding on. No story line in 2001 was a bigger drag then the Chaos Knuckles Saga, which began in the previous year and would stretch on for another twelve months. This story arc had Knuckles glowing green, acting like either an asshole or an idiot, being blackmailed into collaborating with his worst enemies for hastily defined reasons, and fucking around with time foolishly. Other characters were effected too. We discovered Tails isn’t really Tails, Athair was a mystically vague jack-ass, and everyone else was just dragged along in totally useless ways. Penders would commit many sins during his long run on “Sonic” but the never ending saga of Green Knuckles may be the one I despise the most.























BEST COVER ART:
Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 95 - Patrick Spaziante

Even if the stories contained within weren’t the best, Spaz still provided some great cover art throughout the year. Issue 95 features an especially moody number that I like. Against a blueish black background, Sonic is suspended in the air by spider webs. They’re tangled up around him, in a criss-crossing pattern that draws the reader’s eye to the center of the cover. Sonic, meanwhile, has tiny beads of sweat leaping off his head, which is a nice touch. It’s an eye-catching cover, even if the connection to the story inside is loose.























WORST COVER ART:
Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 102 - Patrick Spaziante

Issue 102’s cover, meanwhile, is a little too garish. It’s characterized by searing red and orange colors. Sonic’s limbs twist around each other as he runs forward, his anime-style face looking a little over-exaggerated. The evil bombs behind him, meanwhile, look a little too much like a Digimon to be serious threats.














BEST STORY ART:
"Sonic Adventure 2" - Patrick Spazinate (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 98)

James Fry did some good work this year, especially in issue 93’s “Crime ‘N Punishment.” Dawn Best finally found her footing with 103’s “Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy: Part Two,” creating some expressive and colorful characters.

These are still the runner-ups though because Patrick Spaziante made a rare trip down from cover art heaven to grace the main book with his work. Yeah, the G.U.N. agents look a little too much like anime heartthrobs. But when it comes to dynamic motion, intricate detail, and striking composition, Spaz just can’t be topped. He actually makes an otherwise mediocre issue worth reading! Not even a murky coloring job can take away from his stellar pencils.















WORST STORY ART:
"Family Dysfunction" - Ron Lim (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 102)

There was almost as much bad artwork in the comic this year as there was bad writing. Michael Higgens’ drawings in issue 92’s “The Wrath of Khan’ were incredibly ugly and off-model. Nelson Ribeiro’s pencils for “The Messenger” feature characters twisting in extremely ugly ways, when it wasn’t being extremely flat. Ken Penders deserves a dishonorable mention for using actual photographs as backgrounds in issue 93’s “Bagging the Big One,” among his usually awkward artwork.

There’s shitty and then there’s Ron Lim shitty. Lim would somehow become the regular artist for “Sonic,” starting in 2001. This is despite his complete inability to draw these characters. Everyone has huge, inexpressive eyes. All the limbs are long and noodly. All the heads are massive. All the action is stiff. There’s nothing eye-catching or likable about any of it.

Lim’s shittest pencils this year came with issue 102’s “Family Dysfunction.” I pick out this issue because the character work is especially weak. Heavy and Bomb look horribly off-model. Lim falls back repeatedly on long distance shots that reduce the cast members to grey blobs. The action is clumsy. Among some serious turds, this stinker rose to the top.



BEST NEW CHARACTER:
Rouge the Bat

There weren’t that many characters introduced in 2001 that had a long term effect on the book. Truthfully, choosing Rouge the Bat is still something of a cheat. The character appeared in all of one panel in 2001. It would take a while for Archie to figure out how to use the flying femme fatale. In time, though, she would develop into an interesting character. Rouge is neither good nor evil but someone who does things primarily because it amuses her, switching sides on a whim. You can mostly thank Sega for that one, though Archie would expand on her personality a bit in time.



WORST NEW CHARACTERS:
The Kintobors

Karl Bollers had been foreshadowing the appearance of Snively’s extended family for quite some time. When they finally showed up, what did the Kintobor family contribute to the book? Father Colin was hopelessly duped by Robotnik, only realizing how evil the guy was when it was too late. Grandmother Agnes did a piss poor job of assuring everyone everything was okay. Scientist Chuddermund was the most useless of the bunch, as he only existed to spout off vaguely science-y sounding words. The Kintobors floated around the book for a year, never gaining much personality or adding to the story, before Karl realized how useless they were and killed them off. Only granddaughter Hope was spared who, not surprisingly, was the only member of her family with a sense of self.


BEST IDEA:
Cutting the chaft

The book suffered a drought of good ideas in 2001 but two points did pop out at me. First off, Karl Bollers may introduce some stupid ideas but he was usually smart enough to know when they weren’t working. As mentioned above, the Kintobors got the ax after adding so little to the book. Nate Morgan, similarly, was killed off after failing to find a purpose for himself. Sending the Freedom Fighters to Knothole High was a dumb idea and was quickly dropped after two issues. It’s a shame Bollers didn’t toss out most of the year’s scripts along with these bad eggs.

Secondly, in 2001, Archie brought on Dawn Best to draw a few stories. Best was a “Sonic” fan artist and the first such illustrator the book would hire. These days, the fandom is the main place Archie recruits creative minds from. That habit started with Dawn Best.


WORST IDEA:
Who's steering this thing?

Archie’s 2001 run suggested that none of the writers really knew what they were doing. Karl Bollers threw a dozen new ideas around, none of them being especially compelling. Some of them, like Sonic making himself a superhero persona or the characters getting tossed across different timelines, didn’t last more than a single issue.

Ken Penders stretched out a nominally decent idea – what if Knuckles went evil? – to unbearable length, burying it in his most annoying quirks. Such as painfully faux-profound mysticism, asshole supporting cast members, the few interesting characters getting sidelined, the hero getting shoved around by plot mechanisms, and atrocious pacing. He also threw some random bullshit around too, by hastily resolving old plots and messily setting up new ones.

Mike Gallagher, lastly, seemed to be totally disconnected from the rest of the book. His contributions this year was an out-of-continuity gag two-parter that probably shouldn’t have occupied one story, much less two issues, and a brief arc focusing on his fairly isolated pet characters, the Downunda Freedom Fighters. Considering what a mess Ken and Karl were turning the main book into, maybe Mike was smart to stay out of it. It all suggests a lack of strong editorial oversight and writers who ran out of ideas a while ago.

4 comments:

  1. God.....who the hell thought Ron Lim would be THE penciler at this point......give the job to Dawn Best, at least SHE knows what the characters look like and such......i guess they were afraid?

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    1. His work for Marvel was reasonably respected (though I don't know why) and I don't think Archie was too concerned about the book's quality during this period.

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    2. I could see why....also you were right about Mike.....he did make the smart decision to not be involved in the implosion caused by Karl and Ken

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  2. Did the Simpsons become irreversibly ruined this year too? Jesus, what a crummy time.

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