Sonic Action Figures: They Exist.

If it isn’t glaringly obvious yet, I’m a huge fucking nerd. In addition to reading comic books, watching cartoons, and living with my mother, I also collect toys.

There have been lots and lots of Sonic action figures over the years, and I’ve never been particularly happy with any of them. Because I’m that kind of nerd.


ReSaurus' Sonic Adventure line are by-far the best Sonic figures ever released. They had great sculpts and wonderful paint and articulation. Sadly, this line was limited only to the first “Sonic Adventure” game, which meant that characters like Big the Cat got figures, but not classic Robotnik. Moreover, the second wave was extremely hard to find. Complete sets go for ridiculous amounts of money on eBay these days. The first series included Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails while series two was composed of a skiing Sonic (?), E102 Gamma, Big the Cat, and Amy Rose. Apparently, there were plans for ReSaurus to do "Sonic Adventure 2" toys, but the company folded before those could be released.


Toy Island also released a series of Sonic Adventure figures around the same time. While ReSaurus' stuff was targeted towards collectors, Toy Island’s line was obviously more targeted towards young kids. Their toys were less detailed and had a more “plastic” look to them. The sculpts were definitely more cartoonier and less game accurate. However, seemingly to make up for that, each figure was packaged with a butt load of accessories. Moreover, a Robotnik figure was actually created for this line. These toys were rereleased a few years ago with slightly improved sculpts but no accessories.



Joy Ride Toys, the toy subdivision of Game Pro Magazine (remember them? Me neither.) went on to release Shadow and Sonic figures around the time of “Sonic Adventure 2.” Though the arms and legs were simple bendy rubber instead of proper articulated plastic, these still managed to be well sculpted, beautifully painted toys.


Toy Island later went on to make a number of Sonic X figures. While this did get us some above average sculpts and a wider selection of characters, including Shadow, Rouge, Cream, and (shudders) Chris Thorndike, the sculpts were heavily posed and the figures themselves quite rubbery looking. Later on, a wave of gimmicky “Space Fighters” and “Metal Gear” figures were released for seemingly no reason. However, if you are looking for a Rouge figure, this would probably be your best bet.




Jazwares has had the Sonic license for the last few years. Their product has been tied to the latest game releases and has been mostly a disappointment. They have released six inch scale figures, as well as larger collectables, smaller 3 inch scale figures, and stylized “Vinyl” type toys. Jazware did release a large scale Metal Sonic figure that was pretty cool as well as a nicely sculpted Werehog six-inch figure. (Nice as it looked… It was still the Werehog. Come on.) Though their six and three inch line feature a decent selection of modern characters and some pretty decent sculpts, all the toys have extremely ugly articulation. While Jazwares has promised to release Espio, Vector, and a few other C-list character, they seem mostly committed to pumping out recolors of Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow and fucking Silver. Recently, a set of toys tied into the "Sega All-Star Racing" game have been released, because what the fandom is demanding are toys of Shadow on a fucking motorcycle. All sarcasm aside, If you're looking for a decent selection of Sonic characters with okay sculpts and in the same scale, Jazwares' 3-inch line is probably your best bet.

And now this brings to First 4 Figures, the only company to do Sonic collectibles that I can honestly say I’m not disappointed in. First 4 Figures is committed to releasing fantastic products devoted to the golden age of Sonic. So far, they’re released two twelve inch, highly detailed resin statues, one of classic Sonic, the other of Super Sonic. A varient of Super Sonic with a light-up base has also been released. Granted, these are higher-end collectables and will cost you some money. However, I feel both statues are worth every penny. These are beautifully created pieces of art.

And now First 4 Figures is expanding their line with a series of six 2-inch figurines, pictured above. These toys look phenomenal and are much more fairly priced then the large-scale statues. I will own them, yes I will.

While First 4 Figures has the hardcore fans covered, I suppose Jazware’s stuff is fine for more casual collector. Granted, my ideal vision of a Sonic figure lines, six inch scale figures with detailed beautiful sculpts that cover the entire history of Sonic, from the early video games, to SatAM, to Archie Comics, down to the latter-day game incarnations, will probably never happen. But a man can dream, can’t he? A man can dream and a nerd can bitch.

Devious plans...

So what exactly am I going to do with this blog, besides not update it? Hedgehogs Can’t Swim was originally planned as a daily blog, something I’m sure you can see has worked out extremely well.

Despite the fact that I’m a pretty big Sonic nerd and there’s tons of shit to write about concerning the series and it’s fandom, I’m not really sure there’s that much to actually talk about. I don’t want this blog to become just another news site. Instead, I had intended it to be a much more in-depth look into the peculiarities of the fandom at large. Explore the weirdness within your average “Sonic” fan.

But that shit is creepy and I’m lazy. So, there are a couple of things I plan on doing with this here blogspace.

First off, I’ve been collecting Archie Comic’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series since issue seventeen
and have only missed two issues since then. (#25, because it’s hard to find, and #105, because I wasn’t caring at the time.) What I plan to do is sit down, reread each issue, and post reviews up here. This should be interesting for me for a few reasons. First off, this comic has formed the backbone of my fandom for the better part of seventeen years. I haven’t read many of these comics since I was a young child, so revisiting them should be worthwhile. Finally, it’ll be fun to see how this universe evolved.


Naturally, I also plan on rewatching “SatAM” in its entirety and reviewing each episode that comes along. That should be less interesting, since I rewatched the show when the DVD set came out a few years ago and rediscovered it. However, I do plan on revisiting the Sonic anime OVA, select episodes of “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog,” and even plan on stopping by “Sonic Underground” and “Sonic X” a few times because I’m a masochist.

Another feature that might show up, assuming I can pull myself away from Happy Wheels and other internet based distraction for five minutes, would be occasional news items and a reoccurring feature about weird fanart I found on DeviantArt. I might, God forbid, actually talk about some of the fan fiction authors I believe need exposure.

But whatever, there you go. Expect to see some of that stuff eventually.

In Memory: Ben Hurst

As I am sure you are all aware, Ben Hurst passed away several weeks ago. Mr. Hurst was the head writer on SatAM, developing much of the universe and its characters that we fans have come to love.

That would have been enough to endear him to the fanbase at large. However, Mr. Hurst was particularly active in the fan community. He could often be found at conventions and in internet chatrooms and message boards. He was always willing to talk to fans and answer their questions. He always seemed patient and thoughtful when talking to fans that can, let’s face it, be pretty overzealous at times.

His proposed plans for season three are well known and well discussed. There has probably been as much discussion about that nonexistent bit of television as there has been about the parts of the show that actually aired. Ben was even a part of a small but vocal part of the fanbase devoted to returning the show to air, for a while.

Ben also did his time on “Sonic Underground,” proving that not everything to come out of his word processor was gold. He also did work on some other classic Saturday morning cartoon shows, like “Tiny Toon Adventures,” “The Real Ghost Busters,” and, somewhat ironically, “The New Archies.”

His legacy is secure, but he’ll be missed anyway.

In the beginning... There was Sonic

“Does the Internet really need another “Sonic the Hedgehog” website?” I ask myself now. Over the course of nearly twenty years, over fifty games, and myriad of multi-media merchandise, crossovers, and spin-offs, the “Sonic the Hedgehog” franchise has inspired a lot of inane internet babble. So, is more necessary? You could fill several very large, spelling error riddled tomes with all the message board chatter concerning the little blue hedgehog. Is the internet really big enough for two twenty something man-children obsessed with Sonic? Isn’t it enough that I all ready have one blog I ignore?

Yes. Yes, it is. While many have gone where I am about to go before, few have done it well. That’s the mission statement here at “Hedgehogs Can’t Swim.” To be nerdy about Sonic in a way that’s at least halfway coherent, occasionally intelligent, and maybe clever or insightful every once in a while. Inspired by William Tsutsui’s “Godzilla on My Mind” and Rob Kelly’s “Aquaman Shrine,” both literate, thoughtful, sincere fan boy homages to two other, perhaps equally maligned pop culture icons, I set out to blaze my own path in the world of nerd brain housekeeping.

But let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?

I am a “Sonic the Hedgehog” nerd. Obviously. I’ve been since I was three years old and, like a cartoon hedgehog racing towards a goal post, I’ve never stopped. Despite what you may have heard, it was never cool and it was certainly never "way past cool." I was there before the internet subcultures adopted the franchise to their own seedy uses. I was there before the games became awful, before the fan base became unpleasable, before video gaming itself became a massive pillar of pop culture. Before all of that, I was a “Sonic the Hedgehog” nerd.

Honestly, my fandom for the furry blue one goes back so far, I don’t even remember how it started. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t a Sonic fan. My first vivid memory of him involves catching the 1993 ABC Saturday Morning Preview the Friday night it premiered.

I remember the kids from “Step By Step” sitting down to watch an episode of SatAM and being glued to my seat. It’s tempting to say my mania for everything Sonic started with SatAM. It certainly intensified my growing fandom, but it wasn’t the beginning. Why would I be so excited for a “Sonic” cartoon unless I was all ready a fan? When I asked my mother about this, about why, when, and how I first became a fan, she simply said, “You just always liked that fast, little blue, cool guy.” That may be true, but it’s not exactly insightful.

It wasn’t the games that hooked me first. I grew up in a part of the country that has been in an economic freefall for the last fifty years. As a child, my mother worked very hard to make sure my sister and I never went without anything we needed. But money was tight, at least in the beginning, and we often went without things we wanted. Video gaming consoles were, and still are, an expensive hobby that we simply couldn’t afford. I didn’t get a Sega Genesis and my first Sonic game until 1996, when that generation of console gaming was well on its way out. Yes, I played the games and experienced the Blast Processing first hand at friend’s houses, but, to tell the truth, I wasn’t, nor have I ever been, particularly good at video games. I fail pretty hard in that department.

So the How and When of my fandom’s genesis (Har.) remains a mystery, lost in the hazy mist of childhood days long since past. But what about the why? Why Sonic? Why not Mario, an even bigger video game icon whose current games are certainly better and arguably always have been? We had a Nintendo Entertainment System and a copy of “Super Mario Bros. 3” long before I ever got my sweaty little hands on a Genesis controller. Why not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Ranges, Spider-Man, comic books, anime, Universal Monster movies, action figures, Ghostbusters, Highlander, Transformers, Star Trek, or any number of other things I enjoy as a child? Why does Sonic get the blog and everything else I’ve loved get left to other people to chronicle and obsess over?

Was it the contempt for authority and ecological subtext that appealed to me? The bright colors, fast graphics, and intentionally simple character designs? Did I enjoy being a part of a quickly growing, now sprawling, fictional universe? Was it just me getting swept up in the kid friendly zeitgeist of the moment? Probably all of those things. But why am I still a fan? Why do I still play the games, read the comics, and spend way more time then any adult male should ever spend thinking about these things? Am I just being nostalgic for simpler childhood days? Does my lack of legitimate life experiences force me to go over again and again the pop culture debris I’ve consumed over the course of twenty-two years? Am I just a really massive Aspie nerd who relates to a cartoon animal way more then he does to other people?

Yes, yes, and probably, a little bit, yes. However I got here, I’m here to stay, at least for a while.

My name is Zack, this is “Hedgehogs Can’t Swim,” and I’m here to talk about goddamn Sonic the Hedgehog.