Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 103

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 103
Publication Date: October 2001

Archie has done it before. Their “Sonic the Hedgehog” series was heavily serialized by this point. Occasionally, Archie would interrupt the on-going plot with some ridiculous story outside of continuity. Usually, these concepts were things that had clearly been sitting on a shelf for some time, put aside for when a deadline quickly needed filling. It’s quite apparent to me that such a situation led to the two-parter that filled issues 103 and 104. Both the cover story and back-up were created by Mike Gallagher, who hasn’t written for the book for a while. Both stories hearken back to the comic’s early days, when “Sonic” was filled with silly parodies, slapstick, and sight gags.

Issue 103’s cover story is, specifically, a parody of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. When people hear that name today, they think of lovable characters like Rocket Racoon, Groot, and Starlord. They think of the hugely successful film adaptations from James Gunn. Archie wasn’t paying homage to that version of the Guardians, which wouldn’t come into existence until years later. Instead, they were goofing on the version of the team that existed in the early nineties. This particular incarnation of the Guardians has a cult following but it still pretty obscure. Even huge nerds are unlikely to be familiar with characters like Nikki or Aleta Ogord.

Why would Archie build an entire two-parter around referencing such an overlooked group of characters? The “Sonic” editors were obviously friendly with Jim Valentino, since the artists previously worked on “Sonic Super Special” and “Knuckles the Echidna.” Valentino would come to fame for his 29 issue run as writer and artist on “Guardians of the Galaxy,” which was mildly popular. And who followed Valentino as the writer of that series? None other then Mike Gallagher, who not coincidentally wrote these two issues. In other words, this dumb story is basically an in-joke between friends, inflicted on Sega’s blue hedgehog for some reason.

So, anyway, what the hell is this damn thing about? Zonic the Zone Cop presents the tale as taking place in an alternate zone. Sonic returns to Mobius, after spending a thousand years drifting in space. While he was up there, oyster-headed aliens built him a super suit that transferred his super speed into psychic, kinetic energy. Upon touching down, he sees that the planet has been transformed into a hellish wasteland. After fighting a series of robotic Knuckles, he meets a group of galactic superheroes, descendants of the Freedom Fighters he knew.

In order to find a parody amusing, one must be at least somewhat familiar with the source material being parodied. While it’s not necessary to enjoy them, “Young Frankenstein” and “Airplane!” are way funnier if you’ve seen a few Universal Frankenstein flicks or the “Airport” movies. Like the majority of people, I’ve never read Valentino’s run on “Guardians of the Galaxy.” So I don’t really get the gag. Even if I did, I suspect “Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy” isn’t the best parody. The jokes mostly extend to creating mash-ups between the Marvel and Sonic characters, with punny names like Tailon or Twan-Du.

In truth, quite a bit of the comic is devoted to painful exposition. Zonic talks about this zone. Sonic explains how he got tossed in space, how he got his new powers. Tailon explains how Robotnik destroyed Mobius during a War of the World. (Yes, they call it that.) The Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy explain their individual powers. After the fight is over, the members of the team provide their back stories, involving the Freedom Fighters traveling to other worlds and adapting to the new environments in different ways. Gallagher even indulges in some exposition of his own, by explaining that an evil race of aliens called the Sharks grew out of the Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters. (In another throwback to the book’s old days, Gallagher directly asks the reader if they want to see more of the Sharks. Considering this is their only appearance, the answer was presumably “no.”) If there are jokes here, they’re buried under the weight of countless info-dumps.

Presumably, Gallagher and Valentino’s work on the actual “Guardians of the Galaxy” was less strangled by explaining who the characters are. When not expounding on everyone’s personality, this issue features some mildly captivating action. Sonic and Tailon smash some Brass Knuckles. The Freedom Fighters of the Galaxy shoot laser beams, leap around, and display super strength. It would be more diverting if the characters didn’t have to stop and give us their life stories every other panel.

During his previous go-arounds at Archie’s various “Sonic” titles, Valentino’s artwork has been iffy. His illustrations for the Image crossover were incredibly flat. His “Knuckles” pencils were hideous. He does somewhat better here. The character designs are fairly unappealing, especially Hawkhawk, a new character that is a spoof of Starhawk. But nobody bends in horrifyingly ugly ways. Sally and Bunnie even look quite fetching, poured into their superhero suits. Valentino experiments with the page lay-out in mildly interesting ways. It’s not a great looking book but it doesn’t cause my eyes to melt out of my sockets.

Issue 103 is a Mike Gallagher two-fer. “Myth Taken Identity” revolves around Gallagher’s beloved Downunda Freedom Fighters. After Wombat Stu left the island to join King Acorn’s Secret Service, the team holds auditions for a new fifth member. The disappointing turn-out causes them to reminisce over how the team came together in the first place. Afterwards, one of the applicants is brutalized by the Bunyip, a fearsome creature from Australian mythology.

Much like the cover story, “Myth Taken Identity” is front-loaded with exposition. But at least, this time, it concerns characters we have some investment in. Most of the back story revolves around an origin story for the Downunda Freedom Fighters, something I might have wondered about in the past. It’s a bit underwhelming. Walt Wallaby literally stumbled into Guru Emu. In quick succession, the two met up with Duck Bill, Wombat Stu, and Barby Koala. Disgusted with Crocbot’s burgeoning take-over of the continent, they united to fight against him. I would’ve preferred the team coming together in a more natural way. But it is sort of neat to learn their origin.

It’s a shame that “Myth Taken Identity” is mostly devoted to goofy jokes. The first two pages focus on the applicants for the team, all of whom are goofy joke characters. Such as a kookaburra who sings badly, a mildly racist immigrant rabbit, and Ram Marino, a ram football player. Since one Marvel reference wasn’t enough for Gallagher, one of the applicants is Dare-Dingo, a dingo version of Daredevil. Befitting the jokey tone, Dave Manak draws the story. It’s clear Manak hasn’t drawn these characters in a while, as they are quite off-model.

Issue 103 isn’t very good but, you know, it doesn’t offend me. It’s a harmless joke, too dumb to be annoying. And it’s not as if the current storyline was super involving, so I don’t mind it being interrupted too much. The back-up is also very dumb but mildly interesting. Speaking of stupid in-jokes, come back next time not for the second part of this story but something entirely different instead! [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 80

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 80
Publication Date: December 1999

Issue 79 of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series began to lay the bricks for the forthcoming adaptation of Sega’s “Sonic Adventure” game. Issue 80 continues in much this matter. Now that Amy Rose’s age and appearance matches her video game counterpart’s re-design, the book can get down to introducing the more urban environment video game Sonic would soon find himself in.

Using the Ring of Acorn’s previously unmentioned ability to grant wishes, Amy Rose has wished herself into a more mature body. While Sonic points out that this doesn’t make her any more mature mentally, Nate Morgan still insist Amy accompanies them on their latest adventure. Soon, the gang piles into the Freedom Fighter Special and heads towards the Lost City of the Ancients. As they approach, Sonic and the gang discover the city isn’t a collection of ancient temples. Instead, it’s a bustling metropolis.

The cover story, with its somewhat baffling title of “If Wishes Were Acorns,” quickly resolves the previous issue’s cliff hanger. Yes, Amy Rose is now physically the same age as everyone else. Yes, she’s tagging along on this adventure. There’s no real plot reason for this but the Sega Corporate Machine would not be denied. “Sonic Adventure” would show Amy Rose going from an obscure member of Sonic’s supporting cast to the primary female face of the franchise. Archie had to follow suit, even if they would never let go of Princess Sally. The entire story change is awkward but let’s accept it and move on.

Even with a primarily plot-driven story such as these, Karl Bollers has gotten increasingly better at sneaking in small emotional weapons. Before leaving on their latest missions, Sonic and Sally bid their parents farewell. There’s a somewhat touching scene of Sally talking to her still comatose mother, hoping she’ll be well someday. Sonic has a heart-to-heart with Jules and Bernie. The hedgehog is worried, considering what happened to mom and dad last time he left town. His parents assure him they’ll be fine. This, once again, provides a more sentimental side to the speedy hedgehog. (Mina, who otherwise contributes nothing to the story, takes note of this.) It’s nice that Bollers continues to find room for emotional beats like this, even when tasked with moving the video game adaptation ahead.

One of the biggest problems with Archie adapting “Sonic Adventure” was how different the video game was from the comic book. Archie’s series still had its root in the anti-industrial SatAM, where Sonic and friends hung out in a forest and fought against Robotnik mechanizing the world. “Sonic Adventure,” meanwhile, had Sonic living in a thoroughly urban city and interacting with human beings. Bollers’ solution was not exactly seamless. After hyping it for an issue, issue 80 reveals that the Lost City of the Ancients is... A modern day city, populated by five fingered Overlanders. This plot development gets even more awkward before it’s over. But more on that next time. Needlessly to say, I’m not a huge fan of the role Station Square would play in the franchise’s history.

That “If Wishes Were Acorns” still manages to be an alright story is even more impressive, considering it has to share book space with two other stories. “Land Fall” shifts the focus to Knuckles the Echidna. After witnessing the Floating Island falling from the sky, he asks the Brotherhood of Guardians what the hell is up. True to form, his father and grandfathers evade direct answers, belittle Knuckles, and argue among themselves. Meanwhile, the Chaotix notice the Floating Island has touched down with a near-by terrestrial land mass… And the locals aren’t friendly.

Karl Bollers manged to keep the plot moving forward while still sneaking in some heart. Ken Penders, meanwhile, is not very good at that. “Land Fall” is all plot set-up and no heart. Mostly, the story seems to exist to correct a plot hole from last time. The Brotherhood didn’t notice Eggman invading the Island because their defense measures were still suffering from Hunter’s meddling. Considering how unhelpful the Brotherhood is in this scenario, as they immediately begin to bicker among themselves, it’s no wonder Knuckles quickly glides out of there. The Chaotix, meanwhile, are reduced to a cameo. There’s not much to it, the result being fairly disappointing. Art wise, Steven Butler is still adapting to the Knuckles cast. His Thunderhawk and Vector look a little off. Unlike Spaz and other artist, he does draw Julie-Su with her canonical flat chest. These things are important to me.

“Land Fall” is mediocre but it’s still better then Pender’s second contribution to issue 80. “Swallowing Trouble” has an embarrassing title as well as the embarrassing duty of introducing Big the Cat and Froggy. These two are easily the most useless additions “Sonic Adventure” would make to the Sonic cast. The short story basically adapts Big’s first scene from the game, showing Froggy leaping from his chest, swallowing a bit of Chaos’ body, mutating, and wandering off. Before Big can save him, Froggy is abducted by a robot.

Ken Penders’ attempt to flesh out this brief story outline is not compelling. Froggy was silent in the video game but, for some reason, Ken gives the frog an interior monologue. These dialogue balloons make Froggy seem disproportionately bitchy, as he spends most of his page time criticizing his big, fat, sleeping friend. Big, a doofus in canon, is further humiliated by his attempt to rescue Froggy. Basically, you’d get more out of this story just by watching the Dreamcast cut scene. Further contributing to the story’s uselessness is Jim Valentino’s typically hideous artwork. I do not know why Sega keeps inviting this guy back. His artwork is loose, off-model, and cartoonish.

Issue 80 is somewhat compromised, as the story momentum is totally devoted to setting up the up-coming game adaptation. Despite that, Bollers still makes the most of it, creating a decent cover story. The two back-up stories, however, range from forgettable to outright bad. That evens out to a [6/10.]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 11 – Girls Rule!

Sonic Super Special: Issue 11 – Girls Rule!
Publication Date: October 1999

Here in 2016, the big comic companies have gone out of their way to introduce new major female characters or slot other women into more prominent roles. You wouldn’t think anyone would have a problem with simple inclusions like this… Actually, if you do think that, welcome to the internet! I’m very flattered you chose to visit my blog first.

Anyway, by 1999, Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series had amassed a decent sized female cast. The company had even already attempted a woman-led series, with the ill-fated “Princess Sally” mini-series. For the eleventh Sonic Super Special, Archie decided to try out a similar tactic. All five stories featured in the issue revolved around the women in Sonic and Knuckles’ lives. (No, Amy Rose isn’t featured. The comic wouldn’t give her a bigger role for a few more issues.)

The first story revolves around Sally, still the most important lady in the comic at this point. “Ascension,” set before Robotnik’s reemergence and subsequent take-over of Mobotropolis, has Sally facing her destiny as future monarch of Mobius. She crawls into the Source of All, that weird golden pool in the basement of Castle Acorn. A direct conduit with the forces behind the universe, the Source shows Sally visions of her past and her future. Afterwards, it’s her decision to accept her fate or not.

Every story in Sonic Super Special Issue 11 was written by Ken Penders. By giving Ken so many pages to express himself, we get the full run of his talents and flaws as a writer. In “Ascension,” for example, we see the Penders obsessed with self-involved mythology and cosmic malarkey. The Source of All is an especially dopey plot element I’ve never liked. Literally making the House of Acorn divinely attuned seemed like a heavy-handed attempt to justify why an advanced civilization like Mobius still has a monarchy.

Having Sally directly interact with the Source doesn’t make it seem any less pushy. It shows the Princess her past, appears as her father and brother, before showing her a glimpse of the future. That is, the same future first introduced in “Sonic: In Your Face,” where Sally and Sonic are married with kids. What purpose this has on the wider story – beyond setting up the “Mobius: 20 Years Later” story Ken had been wanting to tell – I don’t know.

Somehow, this all amounts to the Source hoping Sally becomes Queen. She decides to ignore the comics puddle and follow her own path… Which was what she wanted to do all along. So what was the point of this journey again? At least “Ascension” isn’t too visually unpleasant a story. Jim Valentino, after drawing some seriously ugly stories for Archie, finally seems to grasp these characters. Sally, who spends the whole story in the quote-unquote “nude,” is mostly on-model. The use of shadows and lightning are fairly evocative. Some of the effects are cheesy and Valentino’s work is occasionally rather flat. Still, it’s easily his best work for Archie so far.

The second story, “Solo,” revolves around Hershey the Cat. Geoffrey St. John and Hershey sneak into Robotnik’s compound. While St. John is on the look-out, Hershey investigates Eggman’s computer. After discovering that her former teammate Valdez has been robotocized, as revealed in Issue 30 of “Knuckles,” she sneaks out and sets off an explosion.

Ken also draws “Solo.” While I’ve said lots of shit about Penders’ artistic abilities, “Solo” actually doesn’t look too bad. It’s a story devoted to stealth and investigation, which means there’s none of Ken’s static action. Robotnik’s new design looks fairly awkward and Hershey’s proportions are often off-center. Still, it’s definitely one of his better illustrations. As for the story, there’s not much to it. Hershey, hardly the most loved female Freedom Fighter, hasn’t had much development since her introduction in “Endgame.” At least she actually shows some confidence in this one, managing to go the whole story without being betrayed or screwing up. (Though St. John still needs to help her.) It’s a pretty forgettable story but not terrible or anything.

The third story, “Family,” centers around Lupe and the Wolf Pack. The wolves return to their home town, to find it wrecked by the new Robotnik’s forces. Soon, the wolves are taken hostage by a team of Robians led by a still brain-washed Uncle Chuck. After robotocizing Lupe’s children and one of her teammates, Lupe herself is ushered into the robotocizing tube. With her last ounce of free will, she clears the way so the rest of the Wolf Pack can escape.

“Family” should be an upsetting story. Uncle Chuck acts out-right evil in it, making cruel and sadistic statements on the behalf of his new master, Robotnik. Lastly, the story concludes with Lupe effectively being killed off. As a character that dates back to the SatAM series, Lupe’s exit from the series shouldn’t have been made lightly. And “Family” does feature some effective, powerful moments. Lupe’s response to seeing her kids roboticize is anguished rage. Yet Lupe, a born leader, is also pragmatic, always thinking of ways out of this situation. Even after being turned into a robot, her force of will is so strong that she can hold off the process’ mind control for several minutes, allowing the rest of her family to escape.

All of these events should impact readers greatly. There’s a few problems though. First off, “Family” takes up only six pages, which is hardly enough space to properly explore the emotions at play here. The perhaps bigger problem is that Lupe and the Wolf Pack, as they exist in the comic, haven’t gotten much character development. Though Lupe is a character we’re attached to, because of the cartoon, her comic counterpart has never been well utilized. Ultimately, “Family” is well intentioned but underdeveloped. Colleen Doreen is officially credited with the pencils but I suspect Art Mawhinney performed some uncredited clean up. Several panels closely resemble his work, which is quite different from Doreen’s other art we’ve seen.

Fourth in the book is “Upgrade,” revolving around Bunnie Rabbot. While working outside in Knothole Village, Bunnie collapses. Dr. Quack quickly checks on her. He deduces that her biological body parts and mechanical robot parts are in conflict with each other. The two components are rejecting one another. Her options are limited. Her choice is a risky de-robotocization process or upgrading her parts, preventing her from ever being wholly organic again. During this difficult time, Bunnie and Antoine comfort each other.

“Upgrade” reaches the emotion that “Family” couldn’t quite grasp. Unlike Lupe, Bunnie has been thoroughly developed as a character. This is a story totally focused on characters. Bunnie is frightened by the possibility that she might loose her abilities and usefulness to the team. Or she most face the fact that she’ll never be wholly organic again. Ultimately, the heart-to-heart with Antoine is the climax of the story. He lets her known that he’ll always love her, no matter what. It’s a really sweet moment.

And one slightly undermined by the story’s conclusion, where Bunnie happily accepts her sleek, new robotic parts. For such an emotional tale, a conclusion this gung-ho strikes the reader as slightly insincere. Still, “Upgrade” is definitely the stand-out story in this collection. (James Fry’s artwork, by the way, is serviceable, if a little too loose.)

The last tale here focuses on Julie-Su, Knuckles’ much beloved but often sidelined girlfriend. “Shadows” has Julie-Su exploring her past. After riding her bitchin’ hover bike back to the Dark Legion base, destroyed all the way back in issue 3 of “Knuckles the Echidna,” she encounters a man who claims to have raised her. What follows is an extended flashback, detailing Julie-Su’s origins and her time in the Dark Legion.

“Shadows” is, if nothing else, gorgeous to look at. It’s one of the all too few times Patrick Spaziante actually drew a whole story. In his style, Julie-Su’s grace and badassery is fully illustrated. Such as the scenes devoted to her exploring the broken down base, weapon drawn. Spaz’ work is, of course, insanely detailed. Every nook and cranny of the destroyed base is shown in vivid, rich detail. The few action beats in the story are brought to life brilliantly, leaping off the page. Framing the flashbacks in pink neon lines makes the story easier to follow too.

“Shadows” looks great but I wish its script was better. The story is designed to fill in Julie-Su’s back story. The best sequence is devoted to her own recollections as a Legionnaire, as she reflects on the militaristic routine she lived through and the cruel treatment from her superiors. Once Julie-Su encounters the elderly echidna Simon, he totally takes over the story. Penders enters full-on exposition mode. We learn that Julie-Su is the half-sister of Kragok and Lien-Da, the off-spring of former Dark Legion leader Luger. Following both of her parents’ deaths, Julie-Su had her memory wiped by her half-brother. (This event perhaps explains Julie-Su’s sometimes inconsistent motivations. It’s also lazy, another example of a Penders’ protagonist being manipulated by other, grander forces.)

In other words, Ken falls back on his awful habit of telling, instead of showing. He shovels a crap ton of character information on us, loosing the emotional bead of Julie-Su learning about her past and being reunited with her foster parents. Her reunion with her foster mom, by the way, happens entirely off-panel. The story ends before she can meet her again. I really wish Ken could’ve expanded “Shadows” into a story arc in “Knuckles,” allowing more room for the emotional aspects and letting the flashbacks play out in a more natural fashion. But, no, we had to get that storyline about Knuckles fighting a gorilla instead.

By packing five stories into 48 pages, the “Girls Rule!” special becomes especially uneven. “Upgrade” is very nearly a classic while “Family” and “Shadows” both have good moments, even if they overall fall short. “Solo” and “Ascension” mostly exist to tell us things we already knew. Still, a female focused quarterly is an idea I really like conceptually. If Archie was still doing mini-series in 1999, it could’ve easily broken these five stories up into individual books, which would’ve solved some of their problems. As it is, Sonic Super Special Issue 11 is still a solid read. All the stories are compromised but the parts are greater then the whole. [7/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos
Publication Date: July 1999

Archie’s ill-fated attempt to drive “Sonic” readers to their faltering “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” comic continued in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Special quarterly series. I’ve mentioned before how, as a kid, I was susceptible to Archie’s hype. I mean, shit, they even managed to get my pumped for the Image crossover. Yet, even back then, I thought Sonic and Sabrina meeting one another was odd. At the time, I considered the cross-over a nothing story, totally disposable. The cross-over theme of SSS #10 continues in other ways, as the story also features the Archie Sonic meeting up with the “Sonic Underground” universe, a then new series.

“Some Enchantra Evening: Chapter Two” picks up where “Sabrina the Teenage Witch Issue 28” left off. The bewitched Sonic is about to wreck Sabrina’s shit when she teleports the hedgehog to the top of Mount Everest. Before Sabrina and Sally can parse what’s truly going on, Sonic returns. This time, he sets the sights on Sabrina’s high school. The teenage witch zaps herself to that location and just barely defeats the mind-controlled hero. Unconsciousness resumes Sonic’s control over his own mind. Sally locates Enchantra, talks her into leaving Mobius alone, and Sabrina and the super-powered bitch settle their differences.

The second part of “Some Enchantra Evening” is marginally better then the first only because it slows way the fuck down on the lame humor. There’s one or two of Mike Gallagher’s puns. (One of which “I 8 when that happens!,” said while Sonic performs a figure 8, is practically identical to a joke Gallagher used all the way back in “Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles.”) Instead, the focus is more on Sabrina stopping Sonic’s rampage and Sally outsmarting Enchantra. But don’t mistake this for a compliment, as the story is still incredibly lame.

For example, the fight between Sabrina and Sonic, which I guess is the main attraction, is highly anticlimactic. Sabrina literally trips Sonic as he’s running. He twirls her around with the aforementioned figure eight maneuver. Sonic then spins around the witch in a cyclone, sucking away her air. Before passing out, Sabrina magically moves a tree into Sonic’s path. That’s it. The fight last all of two pages. It’s lame.

The resolution of the story isn’t much better. In the last act, Sally finally explains how the hell she got to Sabrina’s world. Enchantra left the portal between worlds open, presumably because she’s an idiot. Sally then yells at Enchantra about all the bad-ass villains that exist on Mobius and how they would totally wreck her shit if allowed. Even though the witch has the ability to open and close the portal at any time, this talk convinces her to cut it out. Sabrina and Enchantra then resolve their incredibly stupid conflict which, if you don’t remember, began over a school history report. “Some Enchantra Evening” is one of those stories that are so bad, they retcon themselves out of existence. At the end, Enchantra zaps Sonic and Sally back to Mobius a second after being taken, removing their memories of these events. I recommend the reader does the same.

Once again, the story continues with the agreement of Dan DeCarlo drawing the Sabrina characters and Dave Manak drawing the Sonic characters. DeCarlo is apparently respected in some circles so I assume his artwork is usually better then the flat, detail lacking work here. As for Manak, it’s very apparent that he’s forgotten how to draw Sonic and friends. Sonic has a giant, bulbous head, his proportions never looking right. Sally’s vest, meanwhile, has fused into a weird low-cut top. As I mentioned last time, DeCarlo and Manak’s work is so similar that I don’t know why one of them didn’t just draw the whole story.

The second story continues the Zone War that began back in Sonic Super Special Issue 8. Zonic the Zone-Cop interrupts a pleasant picnic the Freedom Fighters are having. He’s got another mission for Sonic Prime. After an uprising on the Anti-Mobius, Anti-Sonic has been recruited by an alternate universe of Robotnik to collect the pieces of the Giant Borg. That is, the big ass robot Sonic and his many doppelgangers smashed back in issue 19. Sonic and Zonic team up with the only version of Sonic that hasn’t been convinced to hand over his piece. That version of Sonic is in a rock band with his brother and sister, fighting a war against another version of Robontik. This Robotnik has already reassembled the Giant Borg but, luckily, it only takes two Sonics to defeat it this time.

Ah yes, “Sonic Underground,” the cartoon show that managed to disappointed me even when I was ten years old. The series was similar to “SatAM” on a surface level but lacked the heart and balance of stakes that made that show great. In place of that, it had identical siblings for Sonic, obnoxious comic relief villains, and a fucking terrible musical number each episode. (About the only thing the cartoon had going for it was the first American animated appearance of Knuckles. And, no, he’s not in this story.) There was no reason for Archie to acknowledge “Sonic Underground” existed but, I’m guessing, somebody up the corporate ladder figured the comic should help promote the new cartoon. After all, both the comic and animated series existed, in a round about way, to bring attention to the new system and game created by the SEGA Overlords.

As for “A Tale of Two Hedgehogs,” it’s pretty shitty. The strife among the Anti-Freedom Fighters is mildly diverting. Watching alternate universe versions of Sonic, Antoine, and Sally bitch at each other almost reaches the level of trashy fun. It’s all a bit of a misdirect, as Anti-Sonic’s role in the story is fairly unimportant.

Once the story proper gets moving, the plot falls into lameness very quickly. The Giant-Borg is nothing but a plot device, the pieces being reassembled off-screen. The giant robot rampages through a city for all of one page, barely enough time to establish it as a threat. It takes only a little bit longer for the two Sonics to destroy it. Sonic-Prime distracts Robotnik while Sonic-Underground leads a homing missile back to the robot’s cockpit. There’s an utterly incoherent bit in the middle, where it’s reveal that apparently the Robotnik that organizes this scheme isn’t the Underground version but rather the version that will soon reveal himself in the main comic. This is a confusing sideline and muddles the plot.

As a commercial for “Sonic Underground,” this doesn’t fare very well either. The entire premise of the new series is shoved into a two-page spread in the middle of the story. It accomplishes the same goal as the show’s expositionary theme song. The reader doesn’t get much of a bead on the new characters’ personality. What seals this story’s shitty status is the artwork. Jim Valentino was, for some reason I can’t fathom, invited back to draw Sonic. His artwork continues to be awful. The characters’ facial expressions range from grotesque to comical. Despite being so bad at drawing faces, Valentino often zooms in on them. It’s pretty clear Valentino doesn’t know how to draw the Sonic cast, as they frequently go off-model. The action is not clearly drawn while the backgrounds remain vague and empty.

It sucks. The whole book sucks. The Sonic Super Special series was often unnecessary and this issue is one of the most unnecessary. Which would you prefer? A painfully unfunny crossover with a series you almost definitely do not care about? Or a terribly drawn, weakly plotted crossover with everyone’s fifth favorite “Sonic” cartoon? Ah, I see, this is one of those “rancid milk/moldy bread” dilemmas. [The dreaded 3/10]

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 24

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 24
Publication Date: March 1999

Critics of Ken Penders like to say he had no interest in Sonic, Knuckles, or any of the SEGA-originated characters. That the writer was more interested in his own ideas and simply used the “Sonic” cast as a way to tell those stories. I give Penders a lot more credit than most anyone else but even I agree with this assessment. Look no further than issue 24 of “Knuckles the Echidna,” in which the title character spends nearly the entire book unconscious and is rescued by other characters.

Knuckles, Julie-Su, and General von Stryker remained captured within Haven, still controlled by the Dark Legion. Instead of murdering his enemies right then and there, Dimitri decides to perform surgery on Knuckles, to determine the source of his power. Luckily, Locke and Spectre sneak into Haven and proceed to fuck up the bad guy’s plans. Meanwhile, Constable Remington realizes something is obviously wrong with Benedict the head councillor, getting to the bottom of these shenanigans.

For me, one of the most frustrating things about Ken Penders is how he introduces characters with potential and then does so little with them. Julie-Su is awesome – I’d be willing to call her mai waifu, even – and what has she done recently? Lay unconscious in Locke’s ship? Spend two issues dangling upside down in Haven? Why do you introduce a bad ass echidna babe and not do anything with her? Literally the same thing could be said about Lien-Da. Since the Kommisar’s introduction two issues ago, she’s done nothing but sit around. Meanwhile, Ken’s self-insert Locke and Constable Blandington actually motivate the plot.

And what about Knuckles? As I said, he spends all of issue 24 incapacitated in some way. At first, he’s captured. While Dimitri monologues, Knuckles fires back with some quibs. Afterwards, he’s knocked unconscious and put on an operating table. It’s at this point that the book finally hints at an origin for the superpowers Knux has displayed recently. Apparently, Knuckles has undergone some sort of genetic energy, transforming him into a living Chaos Emerald. Okay, sure, whatever. Why is the titular hero so inactive in this plot? That violates the basic rule of writing. The protagonist is supposed to be proactive, not unconscious.

Locke and Spectre get most of the action. Having escaped the Legion’s take over, they teleport back into Haven. Sabotaging the base’s controls, they pump a gas through the ventilation system. This gas, somehow, disrupts the Legionnaire's robotic upgrades. I’m, uh, pretty sure gases don’t work that way. Meanwhile, Locke karate kicks a guy, Spectre blasts laser beam from his werewolf hand, and they both save the day. Spectre continues to be the most likable of the Brotherhood but Locke suddenly kung-fu fighting… Well, it’s certainly a thing that happened.

Benedict replacing the President of Echidnaopolis has definitely been one of the comic’s dumber plots recently. I mean, the guy is obviously evil and so clearly a puppet for the Dark Legion. Remington finally acts on his suspicious, throttling the guy inside his office. A chase ensues, which leads Remington and Harry – remember Harry? – to Haven. Essentially, the cop and the cab driver exist in this story to escort Julie-Su and Knuckles out of Haven. The only reason Locke and Spectre don’t do this is so their mysteriousness can be preserved. Boooo. Most ridiculously, Benedict isn’t merely a stooge for the Dark Legion. He’s a goddamn robot, which is revealed in a hysterical series of panels.

About the only compelling aspect of this issue is Dimitri, who rather convincingly explains his side to Knuckles. The Guardian is having nothing of it though, which is another example of Ken making his heroes look like pricks and his villains look reasonable. There’s also a funny panel where some Legionnaires comment on Haven obviously being technologically advanced. So why are these two factions fighting then? I can’t tell if Ken is aware of his own plot holes or if this is his idea of wacky banter.

Also, von Stryker is in this story for no reason, the Moritori Rex subplot remains unresolved, Dimitri somehow escapes, and Jim Valentino’s artwork remains hideous. The “Dark Alliance” story arc has been the weakest to appear in “Knuckles” for quite some time, starting decently, fumbling in the middle, and totally collapsing at the end.  [4/10]

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 23

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 23
Publication Date: February 1999

The previous issue of “Knuckles the Echidna” seemed to be resolving a lot of the bullshit that was dragging this series down. Knuckles called the Brotherhood on their bullshit, the Dark Legion utilized a more efficient plan than just storming into Echinaopolis, the honest plight of the dingoes was acknowledged, and the comic admitted that Locke is an asshole. During my review of issue 22, I predicted that the next issue probably wouldn’t build properly on these developments. Either I’m a prophet or Ken Penders’ flaws are easy to predict. Guess which?

At the story’s beginning, Knuckles, the Chaotix, and Remington gather in Echidnaopolis as the town’s mayor makes a special announcement. Throwing democracy to the wind, the councilor has appointed his own replacement. New councilor Benedict immediately announces the decriminalization of high technology and a state wide pardon of the Dark Legion. Knuckles and Remington immediately realize something fishy is up but are slow to investigate. Meanwhile, the Dark Legion barges into Haven and puts the smack down on most of the Brotherhood, save for Lock and Spectre. It isn’t long before the villains come for Knuckles and his friends.

Here’s a ran-down of the Dark Legion’s plan for domination of the Floating Island: Roll over the island with tanks and hovercrafts. Barge into the city with their magical leader in tow. Have a sleeper agent stay inside the Brotherhood for several hundred years and do nothing. None of these plans were especially effective. Replacing the leader of the Island with a puppet candidate, to push their agenda, seems like a comparatively subtle maneuver.

Once again, Ken Penders has his villains immediately lay down their evil plan. Seconds after being appointed to power, Benedict is re-instating Dark Legion rule and hailing Dimitri. (Despite the Dingoes previously being set up as the Nazi stand-ins, Penders has the Legionnaires do a quasi-Nazi salute.) That same night, Legionaries are once again marching on the city in their hover crafts. Jesus, don’t these guys ever get tired of doing that? So much for subtly.

(The dingoes also continue to be an extraneous subplot in this book. General Stryker sneers at the TV on one page, sneers at the current state of Echidnaoplis on another page, and then gets beaten up by the Dark Legion’s latest cyborg soldier. I don’t know what their purpose is at this point.)

After giving his grandfathers a piece of his mind last time, Knuckles is once again reduced to reacting passively to events around him. Knux spends most of this issue standing back and watching stuff happens. He watches Benedict’s rally in the park dispassionately. He walks around and talks about stuff but never actually does anything. When Knuckles leaps into action near the book’s end, he’s defeated off-page by the Legion. Last we see Knuckles, he’s been captured by the bad guys. As for the Chaotix, they do nothing but follow Knuckles around. Even Remington does jack shit. He admits something weird is going on but doesn’t do anything about it. How disappointing.

About the only interesting development in issue 23 has the Dark Legion bursting into Haven and shooting most of the Brotherhood with tranquilizer darts. Boy, is it satisfying to see these honkies get shut down. Despite the Brotherhood knowing Tobor has been Moritori-Rex for some times, they’re still confused about how the Legion found them. I thought these guys were suppose to be omniscient? No, Moritori Rex doesn’t do anything besides lead Lien-Da and some Legionnaire soldiers to Haven. It’s pretty lame but watching such ineffective characters get shot down is at least satisfying, though not in the way Penders intended.

The new characters of Benedict and Xenin – that’s the buff Dark Legion cyborg beating everyone up, by the way – are not compelling. Jim Valentino’s artwork graduates from tolerable to out right hideous. About half of this book is devoted to characters bending and twisting in disturbing ways. When is Manny Galan coming back? Anyway, another promising story arc is sputtering out in its second part. Business as usual. [5/10]

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 22

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 22
Publication Date: January 1999

While the “Sonic the Hedgehog” series is reaching a relaxed mid-point between major story lines, “Knuckles the Echidna” just keeps rolling along, a high-strung melodrama aboard the Floating Island. That’s not necessarily a complaint. Issue 22 gets blatantly political, addressing how things work in Knuckles’ home town while bringing back a major villain from issues past.

As always, things are busy in Knuckles’ end of the “Sonic”-verse. While in Haven, the young Guardian chews out his dad for being such a massive, serial cock to him. Locke, meanwhile, transports his ex-wife, Julie-Su, and Remington back to the city. When they arrive, they’re greeted by a group of protesting dingoes, irritated by their continued treatment as second-class citizens. Meanwhile, the Dark Legion begins to move their own plan in motion, hoping to manipulate politics in Echinaopolis.

A big complaint I’ve had with Ken Penders’ “Knuckles” series is how big of an ass wipe Locke is. The Brotherhood basically tells Knuckles nothing, dicking him around with vague words about a prophecy. Issue 22’s “You Say You Want a Revolution” directly addresses this issue. Knuckles yells at the Brotherhood, wanting to know why the hell his dad and collection of grandfathers have been jerking him around for so long. The weirdest thing is Locke even admits he was wrong, which is very unusual. He realizes his differences with Lara-Le are irreconcilable. More importantly, he admits he wasn’t the father to Knuckles that he should have been. He says he isn’t much of a parent. Such self-awareness is very uncharacteristic for Locke. And welcomed.

The comic has always treated the Dingoes as irredeemable bad guys, always plotting to do something evil to the peaceful echidnas. At least, that was probably the plan. Instead, it often seems like the dingoes are a persecuted minority in Echidnaopolis. Despite the echidnas dismissing technology, they’re all too willing to treat the dingoes badly because of their lack of technology.

In Issue 22, the dingoes are protesting their treatment by the echidnan government. When someone tosses a bomb into the crowd, a fight erupts between the dingoes and the echidnas. Knuckles, in another surprising act of self-awareness, has Archimedes BAMF him into crowd to protect the dingoes. In another rare display of fairness, the “Knuckles” comic admits that the echidnas have treated the dingoes badly and that they deserve better.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen the Dark Legion, right? “You Say You Want a Revolution” picks up that dangling plot point as well. On the first page, the Dark Legion break into an echidna politician's home, noted how full of advanced technology it is. (He has a flat screen, HDTV which raises some interesting questions. Are their echidnan TV shows?) The plot is eventually revealed that the Legion has put a mind control chip in the politician's head, getting him to push a pro-technology agenda in the echidna senate. That certainly seems like a more effective tactic than marching an army on city.

More pressingly, the Dark Legion regains an old villain and grabs a new one. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Enerjak, since his de-powering by Mammoth Mogul. Turns out, the Legion replaced his frail, ancient body with robotic parts, rendering him more machine than man. In flashback, we see that Dimitri has a personal grudge against the echidna political body, as they directly blocked his plans to lower the island for political reasons. Once again, we see how a more sympathetic villain can make for a more compelling story. Dimitri has the right to be angry. It’s his reaction that makes him a bad guy.

The new addition helps too. Kragok was a fantastic bad guy, ruthless and brutal. But Kragok is locked in another dimension or some bullshit at the moment. In his place, a new bad guy has been introduced. Or bad girl, as it were. Lien-Da is a female echidna who likes to boss people around and wears tight leather. Whether or not you believe such a sexualized character is appropriate for a kids’ comic, Lien-Da cuts a mean figure. Considering how villains in this book can be focused on vague, far-off goals, it’s refreshing to see an antagonist who gets shit done. Unsurprisingly, Lien-Da would become one of the best villains that book ever had.

Seeing an issue of “Knuckles the Echidna” actually address some of the problems I’ve had with the series is… Surprising. Manny Galan took a break this time, as Jim Valentino provides the pencils. His artwork is still occasionally off but it’s certainly a big improvement over his work in the Image crossover special. I don’t know if this story arc will continue to improve the series’ problem. Truthfully, I’m betting on it not doing that. Yet I’ll enjoy this reprieve while it last. [7/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 7 - Image Crossover

Sonic Super Special: Issue 7 – Image Crossover
Publication Date: October 1998

In the annals of Sonic comic fandom, a number of issues have risen to the top as particularly notorious. People discuss the events of “Endgame” to this day, especially Sally’s temporary death. “Sonic Live!” remains mocked on a regular basis, frequently held up as one of the worst issues from the comic’s entire life span. The third pillar of Ken Pender’s museum of mistakes is “Sonic Super Special: Issue 7.” A crossover with a number of obscure superheroes published by Image Comics at the time, the issue is incoherent even by the standards of a “Sonic” comic and misconceived as an event. Buckle up and pack in as we’ve got a lot of stuff to cover.

In a world more closely resembling our own, two FBI agents who are similar to but legally distinct from Mulder and Scully interview a mysterious woman. She calls herself Particle. After she zaps both of the agents with her powers and disappears, they track down the son of a hardware store owner. The boy is actually the superhero ShadowHawk. He relates to the agents a bizarre story of encountering Sonic and the team, who rode the Cosmic Interstate to this world, in pursuit of Particle. The woman stole the Master Emerald and gave it to a villain named Dr. Ian Droid. As Sonic and the Freedom Fighters close in on the emerald, they encounter a number of other heroes. Together, they seek to reclaim the relic and return to their own worlds.

As a kid, I’ll admit, I bought into the hype for this one. Seeing Sonic crossover with other comic book superheroes, including the extremely popular Spawn, seemed to validate this silly funny animal book I had become so invested in. Upon reading the book, I was disappointed to be completely unfamiliar with most of the Image characters. Spawn I knew, of course. The Savage Dragon I was somewhat aware of, from the cartoon series that used to air on the USA Network. Otherwise? I had no idea who ShadowHawk, the Maxx, Velocity, or Union where. I’m still not that familiar with any of them. (Though the Maxx starred in a critically acclaimed animated series I keep meaning to watch.)

Moreover, who thought this was a good idea? Archie’s “Sonic” series and Image Comics cater to extremely different demographics. Even at its grimmest, “Sonic” is still a kid’s book. Spawn is a repentant solider of Hell and a former assassin who has no problem dismembering his opponents. ShadowHawk is famous for being an HIV-positive superhero. (Though apparently that was a different ShadowHawk than the one appearing in this book.) The Maxx’s arch enemy is a serial rapist. Union and Velocity are part of hyper-violent superhero teams, StormWatch and Cyber Force respectively. Even Savage Dragon, with his cartoon series tie-in, had some flesh and blood filled adventures. There’s a reason I didn’t know most of these guys as a kid. Even as a ten year old, my mom probably would have bulk at most of the above.

Of course, with indie imprints like Archie and Image, it only takes a few people to think something is a good idea. According to the introduction, the children of ShadowHawk creator Jim Valentino were big “Sonic” fans, which put the two companies in contact. That’s where the official story ends.

However, I suspect Ken Penders had another reason for writing this thing. “Parallel Paradigm” is the first appearance of Particle and Dr. Ian Droid, a hero and villain from Penders’ envisioned series, “The Lost Ones.” “The Lost Ones” wouldn’t be published until March of 2000, where it ran for a single issue. In other words, this was a way for Ken to introduce a pet project of his (that nobody gave a shit about) among more popular characters.

If Ken’s plan was to endear readers to Particle, he doesn’t do the best job. In her first appearance, Particle knocks all of the Freedom Fighters unconscious with her magical juju powers. She proceeds to knock out Knuckles and steal the Master Emerald. Immediately afterwards, she does the same to Mulder and Scully. Particle is at the whims of other characters throughout the book, proving the same thing happening to Knuckles wasn’t a fluke on Ken’s behalf. As for Ian Droid, he’s a generic supervillain, right down to his Ming the Merciless eyebrows.

The Sonic characters are not well integrated with the Image characters. The only one that gets any proper page time is ShadowHawk. In that time, all he does is find the Freedom Fighters in an alley way and put on his armor. Nobody else gets any character development. Union and the Maxx appear suddenly, float around a bit – literary in Union’s case – and then disappear. Velocity gets some speed-related banter with Sonic but it doesn’t amount to much. The Savage Dragon fires machine guns at the Freedom Fighters. Spawn appears on one page and utters the immortal line, “No.” Sonic and friends are tossed around by the plot. Tails, Rotor, Antoine and Bunnie accomplish nothing in this story. Further marking this as a Penders production, Knuckles is who ends up saving the day. The action scenes are so brief and unimportant here that none register.

The plot is a generic fetch quest. The bad guy grabs the Master Emerald. Sonic and the other heroes go searching for it. They find it, beat up some people, and everyone heads back home. What is interesting is how “Parallel Paradigm” gives us a peak into Ken’s future plans for “Sonic.” It’s hinted here, and I always assumed as much, that Dr. Ian Droid is either a future or alternate universe version of Robotnik. Droid is just another word for “Robot,” after all. Both have an army of SWATBots. Droid expresses familiarity with future versions of Sonic and Knuckles. Befitting Ken’s echidna-centric view of the universe, Knuckles is presented as Droid’s arch-enemy. Then again, Dr. Droid looks nothing like Robotnik so maybe Penders is just a shitty writer.

Since “The Lost Ones” would flop horribly and Ken’s original version of “Mobius: 20 Years Later” never surfaced, none of these vague hints are followed up on. By the way, the comic also casually drops the reveal that Mobius is a post-apocalyptic Earth in the far distant future, after some sort of cataclysm. This info wouldn’t be officially acknowledged until issue 124.

So the plot is nonsense, the crossover is pointless, and the script builds up shit that was never paid off on. What about the art? It also sucks. Jim Valentino provides the pencils. Valentino’s artwork for Marvel and his own property is apparently well-regarded in certain circles. He shows no confidence with the Sonic characters. Sally always looks half-asleep. Sonic, Knuckles, and Rotor are frequently off-model in a bad way.

Not being familiar with funny animal characters when you’re used to drawing people is one thing. Valentino’s humans look lousy too. The facial expressions are flat and comically broad. The proportions are cartoony and overdone. The other heroes look lousy, with giant chins and goofy eyeballs. Even Valentino’s own hero, ShadowHawk, looks like a broken action figure. The action is stiff and lifeless. “The book looks like shit” is the short version.

“Parallel Paradigm” is both bizarre and boring. The script is lame as hell. The artwork is terrible. Seeing Sonic and friends cross over with Spawn (however briefly) has a certain novelty factor, I'll admit. I mean, the book also includes thinly disguised version of Mulder and Scully. Batman, Spider-Man, and Popeye all have cameos. That oddness makes it an easier read than “Sonic Live!,” for all that’s worth. Look, I’m not saying it’s good. I’m actually saying it’s rather bad. Yet I’m kind of glad it exists, if only so I can prove to people it’s real. [3/10]