A Very Sonic Christmas

A Very Sonic Christmas

Original Release Date: December 11th, 2024

The last time I was reviewing some animated "Sonic the Hedgehog" media, the speedy hero and his friends were celebrating Halloween, the only good holiday. And every American boy and girl knows what season comes after the ghosts and ghouls are put away for another year. If you said Thanksgiving, you fell into my trap. As far as retail stores and marketing companies are concerned, Thanksgiving and all of November are mere blips on the radar on the way to consumerism's high holy day. Yeah, we are talking about the Christ Mass, the two thousand year old project to absorb various pagan winter festivals under the banner of "civilized" religion. Symbols like trees that remain green throughout the coldest and most frigid months, horned deities rising from the woods to reward the faithful and punish the wicked, worship of celestial bodies, and celebrating those we love and hold dear because we might freeze to death by next year have now lost their meaning even further. Instead of being about some guy from the Middle East that asked us to consider loving each other and redistributing wealth to the poor, these potent icons have now been thoroughly secularized in pursuit of the only true religion humanity has left: The hoarding of goods and resources, consumerism's hollow but relentless demand to always buy more, have more, need more. Ya see why I'd rather hang out with the skeletons and black cats?

But if Christmas is going to be meaningless and commercial, it should at least be weird and stupid too. The hybridizing of arcane symbols and corporate advertising has riddled the modern winter landscape with all sorts of oddities. The Yule Goat and Krampus have been replaced with far stranger modern figures. A green-furred thief, a dancing beagle, and diabetic polar bears are the friendly beasts of our modern yuletide. If there's any tradition of modern Christmas that I adore, it's weird seasonal specials and commercials that filter whatever iconography of the holiday they can exploit through their own temporary goals. This is how the Wacky Wall Crawlers and a home-intruding Michaelangelo have become reoccurring visitors during my personal winter celebrations. There's a tacky, surreal quality to these bygone bits of festive pop culture debris that I find endearing.

Because video games have been hot holiday gift items for many years now, we've had quite a few cross-breedings of wintery frivolity and various  interactive computer entertainment characters. Christmas came to Pac-Land in 1982 and Mario has been wearing a Santa Beard since at least 1989. All of which is to say that Sonic the Hedgehog is no stranger to the Christmas holiday. As I have chronicled multiple times in the past, there have been repeated attempts to associate Sega's fast blue hedgehog with the yearly December event. Robotnik has dressed up like Santa Claus and been visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve, while it has long been accepted that Sonic and friends look a-friggin'-dorable dressed up in wintery gear and dashing through the snow. We don't yet know what the hedgehog and his pals think of the Christ Child but the strictly secular version of the holiday seems to be a big favorite with them. 

At least in North America, the third "Sonic the Hedgehog" motion picture came out in theaters five days before December 25th. The movie itself had nothing to do with Christmas but "Sonic the Hedgehog 3's" proximity to the day led someone to a clever idea for an advertising tie-in. On the eleventh of the same month, Paramount Pictures uploaded a two minute long animated short to their various social media pages entitled "A Very Sonic Christmas." (There's at least four official uploads to YouTube and I'm sure it's also available on Instareel, FaceBake, TikCok, and X the Everything Website.) Some real money was out into this glorified commercial too. The "Sonic" screenwriter duo of Pat Casey and Josh Miller wrote it. All the big name celebrity voice actors reprised their roles and a spiffy, stop motion presentation brought the entire project to life. 

The story invokes "Sonic's Christmas Blast" a little too, though I don't know if that was deliberate so much as a parody of the exact same type of formulaic holiday special writing. In the bleak midwinter, Sonic is introducing Tails and Knuckles to all the earthly holiday traditions of Christmas. They put up a colorfully festooned tree, don their gay apparel, and leave out a treat for Jolly Ol' Saint Nicholas. Knuckles and Tails ask how the fat old elf can make his global trip in a single night. Presumably confirming the existence of Santa Claus as a factual canon in the movie-verse, Sonic uses a Warp Ring to pull the mythical figure right into the Wachowski's living room. This injures the jolly old elf's ankle, threatening the Christmas gift-giving spree. Luckily, a super-fast hero is right here, ready and willing to fill Santa's galoshes. One colorful montage later and Sonic has saved Christmas. 

Despite many of them being upwards of fifty years old at this point, the Rankin/Bass television specials like "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "A Year Without a Santa Claus" continue to run on TV every December. That means many people instantly associate the stodgy but charming stop-motion animation of these programs with the warm and fuzzy, nostalgic feelings they have for the holiday. Being such old, established parts of the December season with such a distinctive visual style also makes the Rankin/Bass specials an endless source of parody. Animator and filmmaker David H. Hess has come to specialize in riffing on this time-honored tradition. In 2005, he created an animated short in this style for "Saturday Night Live" entitled "Christmas Time for the Jews." Since then, he's directed a snarky hour long Christmas special starring Fred Savage, predictably grisly spoof "A Predator Holiday Special," and a stop-motion segment in a Captain Underpants Christmas installment. On the less ironic end of the spectrum, Hess has also made some similarly old-fashioned holiday fair starring Mickey Mouse. This extremely specific niche is one Hess seems happy to fill and he would do it again with "A Very Sonic Christmas." (He also worked on early YouTube hit "Dinosaur Office" and, uh, those annoying animations I used to see at Denny's at four o'clock in the morning, proving he doesn't only do Christmas stuff.) 

I don't think Hess' style looks that much like the old Rankin/Bass cartoons. The models are lankier with way bigger eyes and toothier months than the characters in "Jack Frost" or "The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold" or whatever. They represent a compromise between that style and the traditional live action "Sonic" movie designs. Quirks like giving Sonic a little strip of blue fur between his weird cyclops eye look good on the CGI models and a little awkward here. The result are models that mildly ugly, perhaps. Nevertheless, "A Very Sonic Christmas" does look cute and charming. It maintains the tactile quality that is, to me, the main ability of stop-motion animation. Santa – voiced by Adam Pally, so they didn't have to rope a new actor in or anything – looks cute, as goes the snow-covered back drop of a traditional “Sonic” level, with its loops and such. 

For something that runs exactly two minutes and seven seconds, “A Very Sonic Christmas” is entertaining. The ugly sweaters the trio wear are personalized to each of the characters: Sonic's has a chili dog on it, Knuckles has grapes, and Tails has a bi-plane. That was cute. Idris Elba's delivery of lines about Santana and Christmas being canceled made me chuckle. Ben Schwartz' take on Sonic are enthusiastic as ever. Shadow's cameo in the final minutes functions as a decent punchline, while reminding us that Shadow and Keanu Reeves are in this movie. Packed into a little over two minutes, when paired with the distinctive visual style, it makes for a clever and pleasant extended commercial. 

But “A Very Sonic Christmas” isn't only a two minute spot and quasi-short film. It's also a self-contained Christmas carol! Released concurrently with the little short was a song with the very similar title, “It's a Sonic Christmas,” credited to Ruwanga Samath. I don't know who that is by glancing at his Wikipedia page informs me he is a Sri Lanka-born music producer who seems to have mostly worked in making songs and incidental music for motion pictures. He worked on a Busta Rhymes' song for “Fast Five” and a bunch of songs for some Netflix things before this. As a holiday single, “It's a Sonic Christmas” is cute enough. It's catchy and jangly. I like the chant of “Go Sonic!/Go Tails!/Go Knuckles!” that makes up the chorus. Reminds me of a Shuki Levi theme song. We hear a bit of the song in the short but the entire version – which recaps the plot of the entire thing – is easily found. Will it find its way onto my Christmas playlist? Probably not, because I'm extremely picky about what Christmas music I deem tolerable. It will, however, find its way into my collection of songs with some connection to the “Sonic” franchise! 

As far as “Sonic” related Christmas specials go, I suppose “A Very Sonic Christmas” is the best. It's shorter and less embarrassing than “Sonic's Christmas Blast” and has more to do with the holiday than “Chao in Space,” which would otherwise win. I don't know if I liked it better than the holiday episode of “Sonic Mania Adventure” though. But it's cute. The amount of work put into essentially a longer commercial represents the kind of commitment to the bit that I can respect. I'm glad this thing and the corresponding song exists, even if I'm ultimately not sure it's worth the amount of words I've typed to talk about it. But that's true of everything! Merry Christmas to all – including those who celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, as a menorah and kinara are present in the background of this short – and to all a good night. [7/10]

TailsTube #6: Surprise Gift Exchange Bonanza

TailsTube #6: Surprise Gift Exchange Bonanza 

Original Release Date: December 21st, 2023

As 2023 came to a close, another holiday season was looming. Sega had already released their big "Sonic the Hedgehog" titles for that year. However, I guess they just like Christmas and decided to stick a holly-jolly "TailsTube" installment up on their YouTube. Of course, that raises the same question I ask any time there's a "Sonic the Hedgehog" holiday special: Why do they have Christmas? I guess since it's now established lore that Sonic and friends exist on a world alongside regular meat-sack humans, the question is largely answered. One can assume that human history progressed more or less the same in this alternate universe, winter festivals and the cultural dominance of Christianity coming about in the same way. "Sonic and the Secret Rings," by establishing that djinn exists, suggests Islam is part of this world too. Did Eggman's ancestor participate in the Crusades? The mind conjures image of human missionaries boating out to South Island and attempting to convert the local pagan populace of upright animals. Does that mean there are hardcore Christians among Sonic's population? Vanilla seems like the good church going type. Are there other adherents, faiths, and weird outgrowths? Hedgehog Mormons? Does ninja Espio practice Shinto beliefs? The question now is not if the new Pope will be Catholic but if he'll even be human. Is Jewish convert Knuckles circumcised or not? And how many times? 

Ah man, I love it when I get to do that! Speculating wildly off of the tiniest indications of a wider culture in this series! As much fun as it is to imagine how religions work on Sonic's world, episode six of "TailsTube" truly suggests there's no heaven, no religion too. Many of the signifiers of Christmas are present in this episode. Tails' workshop is decked out with holly, wreaths, colorful lights, and hot cocoa. References are made throughout to well-known carols and the central premise of the episode recalls a Secret Santa party. However, the word "Christmas" is never spoken. Only that much dreaded phrase "happy holidays." This is not a "Christmas party" but a "surprise gift exchange bonanza." The obvious reason for this – Sega does not want to align their mascots with any one religion or culture and the Japanese view Christmas as secular anyway – does not provide an in-universe explanation. So maybe Sonic and all his friends are godless heathens who only worship the hollow joys of materialism. It's a good thing that his progress isn't the only thing Sonic can save though...

But I digress. "TailsTube" episode six has Tails gathering a bunch of his friends into his workshop for a cozy celebration. Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy are there but Shadow, Rouge and Omega show up too. The gift exchanging ritual goes smoothly enough but clashing personalities means the party soon descends into chaos anyway. Everyone except Tails runs off, leaving the fox alone when Eggman decides to crash the party and engage in some Ho-Ho-Homicide. With no one to wreck, the doctor is disappointed and ends up sharing a nice little moment with his archenemy's little buddy. Awwww, isn't that nice? 

One of the nicest things about gift giving occasions is that it reflects the personalities of both people involved. Obviously, unless you are a totally selfish jerk-ass, you want your gift to reflect the intended's interests and passions. Inevitably though, what you get someone else shows your personality as well. You aren't truly giving that person a gift. You are getting a gift for the version of that person that exists in your head. Your gift shows what you think of that person too. This is something noticeable in this "TailsTube" broadcast. Knuckles gets Omega a rock, proving his humble roots but also appealing to the kill-droid's desire to smash stuff. Amy gets Sonic a heart-shaped picture frame with a photo of herself inside, reflecting her always naïve hope that Sonic holds her as dearly as she does him. Sonic gets Knuckles a gift certificate to a chili dog restaurant because he's a fast-paced guy on the run who doesn't have time to look at an Amazon wish list. He did put thought into it though and Knux ends up finding it a very practical gift. As for Rouge, she gives a gift to the person who is most important in her life: Herself. It's a simple setup for a story but it allows for many chances to consider who these characters are as people. 

That leads to another element of Christmas parties that this little five minute bit of animation gets right. Any time you are passing gifts around, it's going to be sweet. People are going to be touched that you thought of them, that you took some time and energy out of your day simply to get a little present for them. This message – about how, really, it is about the giving – is sweetly shown in the last third, when Tails defers Eggman's wrath by giving him a present, melting his evil heart. Stoic Shadow isn't immune to this either, in the easily predicted but still cute final scene. Ultimately, that's why we gather together as groups during the coldest, most desolate time of year to remind one another that we do care, that we are worthy of consideration to each other, that we are carried in other people's thoughts and hearts. To show that this sense of togetherness is always present, the script includes shout-outs to Jewel, the Restoration, and Sage as well. See, the "Sonic" family is wide and vast but always connected by wuv.

However, parties such as these can be awkward as fuck too. That is also nicely captured. Omega, myopic in his focus on destroying enemy Badniks, gifts Amy a crushed MotoBug, as he can't imagine anyone having any other interests. After receiving Amy's picture frame, Sonic immediately removes the photo of her and replaces it with that time him and Tails drew a face on Eggman's bald head. Amy's reaction, to bite her lip and let the botched romantic moment pass, very much feels like something out of a "Sonic Boom" episode. As does Eggman being embarrassed that he forgot a gift and quickly throwing something together for Tails. Once you throw in the unpredictable elements of a Secret Santa party – amusingly shown, in "Sonic" series tradition, as an on-screen slot machine winding down – such awkwardness is unavoidable. I like that both sides of that coin are present here. 

This episode also marks the first time Team Dark has appeared on "TailsTube." I'm so used to Shadow, Rouge, and Omega existing as characters I read about in comics and my brain providing voices for them, that it always throws me for a little loop when I remember Omega and Shadow sounds like that in canon. However, Rouge is always on-point. By which I mean, it is in her nature to flirt with absolutely everyone, all the time. She teases Knuckles throughout, calls him "handsome," and eventually leads him on a very easily predicted chase. The way she giggles mischievously as they ran off together makes this ritual feel like elaborate foreplay more than ever. However, the busty bat also flirts with Shadow, saying it would be a "crisis" if he wasn't there, in typically cooing manner. She can't help herself and that's why we love the slutty chiroptera so much. 

There's more unique backgrounds and art in this episode, what with the shots of everyone interacting with presents that they wouldn't normally be touching. Maybe that required the budget to be mixed around for this episode, explaining what the actual characters seem to move less than they ordinarily do in this show. It might just be me but it seemed their lips don't always move in time with their dialogue. Aww, shucks, what could be more perfect for the Christmas holiday than pinching a few pennies? Anyway, this is cute and I enjoyed it. As I type this, it's spring time in my corner of the world but I'll get ahead of the curb and go ahead and wish everyone an early Merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a crazy Kwanza, a tip top Tet, and a solemn and dignified Ramadan. [7/10]

Chao in Space

Chao in Space

Original Air Date: December 12th, 2019

"Sonic" fans are fond of in-jokes. It's a perhaps inevitable side effect of a series running for so long that a whole avenue of weirdo, little tributaries appear with a fandom landscape composed of interlocking circles within circles. Any tribute to "Sonic" history is bound to include a reference to some minor background detail from twenty years ago, that will mean nothing to the majority of people but make a select few shit a brick in excitement. I guess any nerdy following gets like this after a while – what is the hyper-dense continuity of modern superhero comics if not one long in-joke? – but "Sonic" fans' obsessive attention to detail is notable. I mean, the "O.K. K.O." episode I reviewed last time is a good example of how "Sonic" dorks can't stop putting in little Easter Eggs for other dorks to find. 

In other words: About twenty-five years ago, Sonic Team artist Yoshitaka Miura designed a joke movie poster, with an Engrish tagline, for a film called "Chao in Space." It was created to literally fill space in the background of "Sonic Adventure's" Station Square hub world, to add a little color to the game's setting. Maybe get a laugh out of the people still amused by the joke of sticking long-running franchises IN SPACE. I guess you call that "world-building." It then became a running gag throughout the modern "Sonic" series, posters for subsequent entries in the "Chao in Space" cinematic universe cropping up regularly in the backgrounds of different games. Fans, of course, tracked these appearances to the point that we can now form a rough progression of the events of this double-fake meta franchise. Seems to be a "Star Wars" parody. Like "Jews in Space." Since there is a portion of people begging Sega to bring the Chao back as a gameplay mechanic, maybe these posters acted as a bone thrown to those fans. 

2019 was the 20th anniversary of "Sonic Adventure" and the beginning of what is now recognized as the "Modern Sonic" aesthetic. The "Sonic Mania Adventures" Christmas Special that Sega published on YouTube in 2018 must have been popular, as a second one would appear the next December. Tyson Hesse and his team were once again behind it and I'm betting he probably pitched the idea in the first place. Since Sega didn't have a new "Sonic" game coming out in December of 2019 – "Team Sonic Racing" still being the most recent release – and probably wanted to acknowledge the anniversary of the Dreamcast's killer app, an animated "Chao in Space" short would function as that year's festive entertainment. (There was also a new "Star Wars" movie coming out that month, which surely was a factor as well.) Fans, of course, loved it and Hesse's "Chao in Space" ditty immediately became another beloved classic. 

You might be wondering what Chao doing stuff in outer space and the Christmas holiday have to do with each other. The short finds a cute way to connect these unrelated ideas. We begin with a blue Neutral Chao fleeing in a very X-Wing looking space ship from the Death Egg. A devilish Dark Chao is in pursuit, in a matching Tie-Fighter inspired vessel. This intergalactic conflict is quickly revealed to be the dream of an innocent little Chao, who fell into a deep sleep after excitedly opening all his gifts. As the dream goes on – the pilot Chao thinking about his family and being blasted out of his ship by the enemy – the little guy gets so excited that he starts to sleepwalk. Sonic, who was napping under the tree with the Chao, does his best to prevent the somnambular fella from getting hurt. Also, Eggman shows up dressed as Santa Claus, seemingly with the objective to do some Chao-Napping and, I guess, ruin Christmas. 

Not long after "Chao in Space" came out, I marked the anniversary of "Sonic Adventure" in my own way: With a rant about how I've never really liked the Chao, I don't understand why they are so beloved by so many people, nor do I see how they have much of anything to do with what the "Sonic" series is about. Not to reiterate too much but: I find the blobby little baby things sickeningly adorable. They are unnecessary mascot characters in a series already starring mascots, whose virtual pet style gameplay don't do much besides interrupt the flow of the platforming action we're here for. Plus, their big, blank, Funko Pop eyes are kind of creepy, right? Those fuckers stare into your soul... I'm well aware that this makes me an outlier in the "Sonic" fandom. You see fan art of people's own genetically engineered Chao variants almost as much as you see "Sonic" OCs in general. 

Speaking as a Chao skeptic, I will begrudgingly admit that the "Chao in Space" cartoon is still pretty cute. The excited way the little fucker shakes his stubby, malformed Powerpuff Girl arms while having his dream is admittedly amusing. He drools and fussily shakes his head, caught up in his own dream but still too sleepy to awake up. Actual babies do that kind of thing and it's precious. Sonic's attempts to protect this stupid baby from its own misadventures also make for a series of good times. Trying to keep a clueless innocent safe is a standard cartoon trope. Seeing the usually unflappable Sonic being bested by such a tiny, squishy thing is a decent joke. Tyson Hesse, being a son-of-a-bitch after all, continues to show excellent timing here. "Chao in Space" builds up to a good – almost literal – punchline that made me smile. Sonic is in the traditional of classic cartoon characters already, so playing him as the Roger Rabbit against his own Baby Herman is a valid enough idea. 

But I know what you're thinking. "We were promised some Chao in space! What about the cuddly, pint-sized, war among the stars??!" "Star Wars," being among the most successful and iconic film series in history, has long been a prominent part of reference humor. A lot of people seem to think that simply mashing up "Star Wars" stuff with another thing is enough to qualify as a joke. "Sonic" already has its fair share of jokey homages to George Lucas' pop culture titan. The Death Egg is right there, after all. Adding some more blatant "Star Wars" references isn't too far of a stretch. The Chao-ified X-Wing and TIE Fighter are well done. Clearly the mechanical designer for this short had fun. Thankfully, "Chao in Space" is not simply reenacting the events of "Star Wars" in "Sonic" drag. It also rips off "Dragon Ball Z!" The Neutral Chao gets his own super transformation at the end and it looks even more like a Super Saiyan riff than Super Sonic already does. 

This short is not built entirely around plagiarism. There actually is a plot contained within the dream sequence. Once the astro dog fight seems to turn against the neutral Chao's favor, he looks longingly at what I can only assume is a framed photograph of his parents. That the Dad Chao has a bushy mustache and glasses is a good joke. A sad melody plays on the soundtrack every time our hero thinks about his family, which tugs at your heartstrings a little bit. It comes around at the end in a nice, if slightly implausible, way. Whether the narrative is all that compelling or not, "Chao in Space" does successfully match the dramatic beats of a stirring action story. A hero is an underdog, up against steep odds and a villain who has the upper hand before rising up and winning after all. That this victory emerges through a last minute power-up could've been a little less spontaneous... But this is a dream sequence after all, so I suppose it gets a pass if not everything about it makes perfect sense. 

Compared to the somewhat stiff animation in "Team Sonic Racing: Overdrive," "Chao in Space" looks a lot closer to the vivid, smoothness of "Sonic Mania Adventures." It carries the same level of playful expressiveness we see in Hesse's work, with lots of cute little faces. Considering the Chao already have cartoonish faces, they work well to express the kind of oversized emotions Hesse specializes in. Sonic's worried and increasingly frustrated body language goes a long way towards selling the humor of this situation. Especially once the goblin puppy starts pulling on his nose. The action scenes are extremely well done, with a sense of speed and momentum in every swerve, turn, and impact. Some humor does emerge out of such cutesy, ridiculous characters being involved in a battle that takes itself very seriously on the surface. 

Despite my best efforts to turn my nose up at all Chao centric content, I'll admit that "Chao in Space" is entertaining. That the animation is so good is a big factor in making it worth your time. Once again, Hesse's storyboards combine subtle attention to the characters with goofy faces and vividly pulled off action. I also think it's funny that they brought in Roger Craig Smith and Mike Pollack to record some sounds, despite Sonic and Eggman having no dialogue in this short. The Christmas element is incorporated in a natural enough way, though this qualifies more as holiday-adjacent than directly about the holiday, I guess. All you "Die Hard is not a Christmas movie" people can argue about the specifics of that, if you want. I guess this proves that I have come to accept the Chao as a valid part of the "Sonic" cast, no matter how indifferent or vaguely hostile I still feel towards them. Me and my friends would've killed a Chao with hammers, I can tell you that much. Uh, anyway, Merry Christmas. [7/10]

Sonic Mania Adventures, Episode 6: From A. Rose

Sonic Mania Adventures, Episode 6: From A. Rose

Original Release Date: December 25th, 2018

I've pointed this out before but it bears repeating. Sonic the Hedgehog, for whatever reason, has a strong association with Christmas. The most evident reason for this is not hard to figure out: This is a cutesy franchise for kids, designed to sell video games and consoles. Exactly the kind of thing an eager child would ask Santa Claus for once December draws near. It probably doesn't hurt that the Japanese love the secular visuals of the holiday, incorporating red and white hats, evergreen trees, colorful lights, and snowy vistas into the kawaii mascot culture the country is deeply enamored of. This is so common that cute anime girls in a "Santa Skirt" outfit has become a trope onto itself. Since Sonic is also a huggable mascot, it makes sense that his creators would often stick a Santa hat on his head and have him delivering presents. That ice themed levels are common features in the games, tying in closely with the areligious Japanese version of the celebration, furthers the connection. I'll let you know if I ever come across official art of Sonic and friends having a festive KFC feast or of Blaze being compared to day old cake. 

Obviously, a "Sonic" Xmas special is not without precedence, as I've explored in the past. Because of this – and also, I imagine, a desire to drum up some more sales during the holiday buying season – "Sonic Mania Adventures" would have one more episode tagged on in late December, several months after its main run seemingly concluded. This final episode would also spotlight the fourth corner of the Classic Sonic series' heroic cast that had, up to this point, been excluded from the YouTube animations. I guess Tyson Hesse isn't a totally despicable monster and felt he owed it to the Amy Rose fans to focus an episode on her, after leaving the pink hedgehog out of "Mania Adventures'" main narrative. In that sense, this extra installment operates as a two-fold treat: A holiday bonus and a chance to see a long-time character in animation again. 

"From A. Rose" actually picks up right where the previous episode left off, with Eggman and Metal Sonic thrown a great distance by Knuckles' fist. They land in the jungle and, disgusted by his latest defeat, Eggman leaves Metal Sonic laying on the ground there. The seasons past and winter arrives. Soon, the mechanical minion is buried in a heavy layer of snow. That's when Amy Rose stumbles across the robot, buried in the frosty layer. At first, she's frightened by his appearance. However, after pulling out of the path of a falling tree, Amy grows a little fond of the machine. She patches Metal Sonic up, slaps a bow on him, and delivers him right to Eggman's door step. It is a gift that the doctor, after a minute of consideration, accepts. Aww, ain't that sweet? 

The "Sonic" series has never been the best at female representation. Being a relic of nineties "no girls allowed!" childish sexism, the series didn't have any real female characters for its first two installments. When the first prominent heroine in the games was introduced, she still only filled the role of a helpless damsel in distress, like so many princesses and captured babes before her. Attempts have been made over the years to correct this oversight. More women have appeared in the games. (Though whether you consider sexy femme fatale, a mom and a toddler, and Token Girls on otherwise all male teams to be forward thinking or not is up for debate.) The comics and cartoons have added more diverse women to the cast, though the movies still aren't there yet. The biggest way Sega has addressed the "Sonic" series' gender imbalance was making Amy Rose more of an independent character in her own right in "Sonic Adventure," who didn't need a blue hedgehog to fight her battles for her. By the time we got to "Sonic Boom," Amy was mostly allowed to exist without the baggage of being defined solely as "Sonic's girlfriend."

This is a development that the Classic branch of the "Sonic" series has struggled to incorporate. Modern Amy hardly defies gender roles, still being extremely pink and classically girly in most ways. Her tendency to smash shit with an oversized hammer is born largely out of negative stereotypes about feminine rage, after all. Classic Amy, with her frilly skirt and short stature and perfect little bows on her shoes, continues to exist in mostly a supporting roles. She's been playable in the weird spin-off racing and fighting games – where she gained her mallet for the first time – but wouldn't be playable on a mainline "Sonic" until last year. Tie-in media has attempted to expand this version of the character beyond her crush on Sonic. Her status as a friend to the animals, dabbling in divination, and generally a loving and kind person have been focused on more lately. This has done little to move Amy past her role as The Chick in the classic corners of the franchise. That she got left out of "Mania" all together, when obscurities like Ray and Mighty were included, maybe didn't make for the best optics either. 

I can't help but I imagine that this was a factor in making the "Mania Adventures" holiday special about Amy. She is, in fact, the protagonist here. She discovers Metal Sonic and it is her kindness and love of all sentient life – something Sonic would not be expected to show towards this particular foe – that drives what little story exists here. That Amy cleans up Metal Sonic and returns him to his "family" of sorts certainly doesn't defy her conforming to feminine archetypes of being a nurturer and a caregiver. At the same time, that she protects a deadly enemy from harm, when anyone else would immediately spin-dash him, does show us what Amy can do that her bro-y teammates can't. After all, this is the same Metal Sonic who threatened her and the kindness she shows him proves what a big-hearted individual she is. In other words, this episode does not stray from the somewhat reductive role Amy has always had in the classic games while also giving her more to do than get captured, fawn over Sonic, and be a prop for him to rescue at the end of the game. 

It is also, one must point out, extremely cute. Avoiding the difficult question of how Sonic and friends know what Christmas is, "From A. Rose" favors generic seasonal signifiers like snow and gift-giving. Amy dragging Metal up to Eggman's base, and leaving him gift-wrapped for the big bad, makes her into something of a Santa Claus figure. It brings themes like unconditional kindness and giving with no thoughts of receiving to the forefront, solidifying the holiday special status. Making Metal Sonic into a blankly staring straight man, forced to endure Amy's adorable antics, is also a good joke. That Eggman, ruthless villain that he is, is also seemingly moved by this selfless act of kindness certainly also matches the Christmas-y mood of this entire production. Such a sentimental tone means this final episode of "Mania Adventures" lacks most of the action and laughs of the previous parts. I definitely still chuckled a few times. There's a good joke involving a Flicky and Hesse still gets a chance to incorporate the glib, highly expressive faces he's so good at a few times. (Especially during Sonic's contractually obligated cameo at the end of the episode.) This one is definitely designed more to warm your heart than tickle your funny bone. 

This is also apparent in how the episode sounds. "From A. Rose" is as beautifully animated as the rest of the series. However, it foregoes the use of music and sound effects from the classic games. I guess because Amy wasn't playable in "Mania?" It does make this episode stick out when watched in a row with the other ones, not quite having the infectious energy as the rest of the series. But, hey, we all deserve to slow down and relax a bit during the holidays. "From A. Rose" isn't much more than a bonus, a little Christmas gift Sega and Sonic Team handed to fans at the end of 2018. When taken in that light, it's cute enough. "Sonic Mania Adventures" works perfectly fine – and maybe better – without it but who can complain about something this harmless and good natured existing? If nothing else, the end credits do present us with some postcard worthy festive images of Sonic and the gang celebrating the season. At the risk of damning this three minute program with faint praise, I'm definitely more inclined to rewatch this around December than "Sonic Christmas Blast." [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Winter Jam

Sonic the Hedgehog: Winter Jam

Publication Date: December 13th, 2023

Now that 2023 is in the rear view window, we can reflect on IDW's decision to trade out the usual "Sonic" comic mini-series with several seasonal one-shots. The "Endless Summer" special was delightful while everything else, the Halloween special and the various anniversary issues, proved far less memorable. The year ended with, naturally, a winter themed one-shot that tied in with the holidays in its own way. Did "Sonic the Hedgehog: Winter Jam" live up to the weird standard of "Sonic"-themed Christmas entertainment? Now is the time to determine just that...

"Winter Jam" begins with Eggman obsessively watching reality TV on a Thomas Newton Jerome-style wall of monitors. This points the villain towards his newest evil scheme. While Sonic and his friends are chilling on the beach during what must be an unseasonably warm December, Eggman drops a giant robot fish on them. The group wakes up inside a studio, where Cubot and Orbot force them to participate in a series of wintery, holiday-themed competitions. Sonic is teamed up with Tails, Amy partners with Cream and Cheese, Rouge is in cahoots with Omega, and Big trails along with Froggy. The prize is a single Chaos Emerald, causing everyone to take this silliness a lot more seriously. 

"Winter Jam" is the IDW "Sonic" debut for a writer named Iasmin Omar Ata, whose graphic novel work I am completely unfamiliar with. Our blue hedgehog franchise has supported a wide variety of tones over the years, from the fairly serious to the totally farcical. Which means different people can have totally different impressions of what "Sonic" is, based on which game, cartoon show, or comic was their first exposure to the series. If I had to guess, I would wager Ata is most fond of the goofier "Sonic" installments. "Winter Jam" most resembles the sitcom-like writing of the "Sonic Boom" TV show. In fact, it's extremely easy to imagine a "Boom" episode with the premise of "Eggman sticks Sonic and friends inside a competitive reality show." Which is not something you can picture so much in the mainline Sega games, the later Archie comics, or even IDW's on-going book. I'm pretty sure "SatAM" Robotnik would just roboticize the Freedom Fighters if he had them under his thumb like this. 

This "Boom" connection is most evident in the way the characters are written. First off, Cubot and Orbot get flashy roles as the presenters of the show, something much more akin to "Boom" than the main IDW book, where they are usually as merely incompetent lackies when they are remembered at all. Secondly, Ata's script really cooks all of the heroes down to their most essential characteristics. Sonic is defined by his fastness, even if that means he leaps into situations without thinking them through. Tails is brainy to the point of being eggheaded. Amy is the girly straight woman, Cream is an enthusiastic but inexperienced kid, Rouge is all about those gems, and Omega just wants to blow shit up. Big is a weirdo comical anomaly, described in-universe as "inscrutable." I'm sure if Shadow and Knuckles were in this issue, they'd be a gruff loner and a super-strong nincompoop. 

You'd probably expect me to be critical of these characters being written in such one-note fashion, especially since the IDW comics works best the more complex everyone's interactions are. Yet, in this case, it works. "Boom," when it was at its funniest, used its sitcom structure and Flanderized characters to subvert the typical expectations of the "Sonic" universe and push the absurdity of its scenarios as far as possible. Unlike the "Halloween Special," where the simplified characterization felt like the material was being dumbed down, everyone here is still very much on-note. They are just a little goofier than usual, which fits a light-hearted holiday special anyway.

This is most apparent in "Winter Jam's" best reoccurring joke. Sonic's super-fast abilities and personality proves to be an ill-fit for these contests. He tangles himself and Tails in Christmas lights. He tears an Eggman doll to pieces with speed friction when he's supposed to be protecting it during a snowball fight. By the time the super cute ice sculpture he made collapses for no reason, this has become a hilariously cruel running gag. During the "Survivor"-style between-games interviews, Sonic grows increasingly neurotic about his failures. Seeing hyper-confident hero Sonic repeatedly humbled, largely through his own quickness, is a good joke. It's subverting what we know about these guys for comedic effect and Ata's dialogue plays it dry enough to make these reactions even funnier. Good job!

"Winter Jam" gets wackier as it goes along, in accordance with typical rules of cartoon escalation. There's unexpected laser beams, a gelatin monstrosity, and an implausible plot twist. The whole thing ends in a massive explosion, which sounds about right. Ata's script has cultivate a goof-ball tone quickly, allowing the comic to get away with increasingly broad sight-gags like this. Any pretensions of seriousness have long since passed by the time the ostensibly plot motivating Chaos Emerald – reality-altering power sources that usually are no laughing matter within this universe – is causally thrown in at the very end. The Emerald is a MacGuffin in the purest sense here. It exists to push the story forward but otherwise has no deeper significance, everything about it being completely unimportant. 

This comic reminds me of an episode of "Sonic Boom" in another way too. It's so quickly paced that there's really not time for anything but the comedic highlights. In fact, the rest of the winter games are relegated to a single panel, which one imagines would have been a speedy montage in a TV show. This "get to the jokes as quickly as possible" structure means the issue misses out on any depth. You'd think Eggman hyper-fixating on reality shows and creating one of his own would provide some sort of commentary on the shallowest of television genres. Nope! Beyond dismissing it all as trash TV – fair – this comic has nothing to say about reality shows. In fact, the contests resemble standard competition programs like "Holiday Baking Wars" or "The Great Christmas Light Fight" than far more tawdry series like "Big Brother" or "The Bachelor" that I tend to think of as archetypal "reality shows." Eggman could have just as easily been stuck on regular old game shows. 

With "Winter Jam" coming out so close to Christmas, this obviously fills the role of a "Sonic" holiday special. Which brings up another criteria to consider: How does this function as a celebration of end-of-the-year festivities? Loosely, to say the least. The first contest involves making a home look festive. Sonic and Tails string red and green lights, Omega blows up some wreaths, and Amy and Cream prepare a feast that prominently features a yule log desert. Eggman's wall of TVs include some easily missed candy canes and reindeer antlers, while a later collection of panels briefly features baubles hung on an evergreen. The end has everyone luxuriating in the magic of snow falling on the beach. Yet this being entitled "Winter Jam," instead of a more specific reference to any particular holiday, is fitting. Things are kept secular, in a way that reminded me of the first "Community" Christmas episode. Merry jolly, indeed. 

In fact, there's barely any reference to even the secular version of Christmas as we know it. There's no Santa, no exchanging of gifts, no decorating of a tree. Sonic doesn't ask Tails the true meaning of anything, prompting a speech about harking angels or being-not-afraid. Considering we open on our heroes unwinding on a snowy beach, outside of the title, there's no way to know if this issue is even supposed to be set during the winter. Maybe global warming has hit Sonic's world too. Or maybe they just live in their equivalent of California, where it's always sunny and breezy. 

This absence of explicit Christmas references makes sense, because why would Sonic and his friends know anything about an Earthly holiday anyway? (This is a question writers of previous "Sonic" holiday specials never felt the need to consider. Or even Sega for that matter, who have produced many images of Sonic doing explicitly Christmas-y stuff.) Yet compare this to the Halloween special, which actually named the October holiday and prominently featured traditions like trick-or-treating, dressing up in scary costumes, and displaying carved-up gourds on your front porch. Sonic and the gang celebrating Halloween as we know it but only participating in generic, winter-themed traditions forces me to come to one conclusion: Sonic the Hedgehog and all his friends are Godless pagans who have never heard of the story of Christ Child nor accepted Jesus of Nazareth as their personal Lord and Savior. My Southern Baptist grandmother would say they were all going to burn in Hell. But I bet Amy throws a bitchin' Beltane bonfire. 

Anyway, enough of my mostly-sarcastic analysis of this children's comic's setting that was clearly in no way intended by the artist. "Winter Jam" is fun! It made me laugh multiple times while maintaining a good grip on these characters and their world. It cooked up some clever and amusing scenarios I hadn't thought of. The art is from Min Ho Kim, who previously did the character designs for "The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog" and a few IDW covers. The line work is clean and crisp. The characters are expressive and bright. There's even some clever page layouts , such as the dissolve that reveals our heroes on are on the beach or the page where everyone is grabbed by the robot fish. It's not deep but I enjoyed. That's good enough to earn a [7/10] from me. So merry jolly to all you heathens out there. I hope you had a festive and bright December and I'm sorry I'm only publishing this review in January. 

TOP 10 OFFICIAL SONIC CHRISTMAS IMAGES

For whatever reason, "Sonic" fans love Christmas. Maybe it's because we all just connect the series to childhood nostalgia around receiving the games and merchandise at the holidays. Maybe Sonic and his friends being fuzzy and huggable makes pairing them up with the coziest holiday of them all is inevitable. Whatever the reason, if you Google "Sonic Christmas art," you get roughly a hundred pieces of festive fan art in the results. Some of these pieces are by artists that have worked on the series in an official capacity, making them practically canon bits of hedgehog-y Christmas cheer.

Probably owing to his status as a corporate mascot, and Sega's desire to sell lots of games or consoles or other miscellaneous crap during the most capitalistic of seasons, Sonic Christmas art is not just a phenomenon among fans. In fact, there's been quite a lot of official "Sonic" art that puts the characters among various holly jolly trappings. And because I want to celebrate the holidays and have absolutely nothing else to write about, I've decided to arbitrarily rank my favorite official Christmas Sonic art this year, with my absolute favorites at the bottom here. 

I am tempted to kick things off with one of those trivia-filled, rambling dissertations that I love so much. Though a character born of a myriad of European folkloric traditions, and thoroughly mutated by American sensibilities, Japan has eagerly adopted Santa Claus. Perhaps it's because the Christian roots of Christmas are largely ignored in an Eastern culture like Japan, allowing secular traditions like Ol' Saint Nick to dominate the holiday's pop culture headspace. Japan has certainly put its own wacky spin the Jolly Old Elf over the decades.

Among these far-flung riffs on the holiday's ultimate symbol has been lots of images of Sonic in the famous red suit and hat. Maybe putting Sonic in a Santa suit is just too irresistible an image. Perhaps it's the hedgehog's speedy status that makes him a good match for Santa garb. Of these many pieces of art, my favorite is probably this one, originally published in Harmony, the  newsletter published strictly for Sega's employees in the nineties. (And later, more famously, collected in 1996 as part of a screensaver program.) I like the image of Sonic leaping over a snowy city with a big sack full of gifts on his back. He looks so happy to be delivering gifts!

Since 2005, Sega of Japan has run Sonic Channel, a website devoted entirely to providing updates on everyone's favorite blue hedgehog related franchise. Lots of neat bits of promotional tie-ins have filtered out from this site. Here in the English language Sonic-sphere, Sonic Channel is best known for the monthly art uploaded to the site, much of it provided by Yui Karasuno. Due to these pieces being updated monthly, they frequently tie-in with the holidays and events that occur at the time. Which means quite a lot of super cute Christmas art comes from this avenue. 

The first of this illustration I want to highlight is from Christmas 2020 and was actually created originally for the Life in Sonic's World art book. It depicts an utterly adorable seasonal scene: Silver, while dressed as Santa, uses his telekinesis to fill a set of stockings presumably belonging to the napping Chao on the floor in front of the fireplace. Their toys and coloring pages are strewn on the floor before them, while little references to the rest of the franchise are on the tree, via Christmas ornaments featuring Big the Cat and a Chaos Emerald. It's a moment of pure domesticity, exuding warmth and nostalgia. Which is perfectly suitable for Christmas and maybe for the Sonic series too, even if I don't have much nostalgia for these particular characters. 

Other examples of Sonic Channel art you see circulating on social media all the time are the little monthly character portraits. These are still coming out every month and here's proof of that. This particular image here literally just came out this month. But how fucking cute is this, right? Metal Sonic is, by design, not the cuddliest cast member of this particular series. One imagines he wouldn't react with much appreciation – or at all – to a Christmas gift. To actually see that scenario play out is highly amusing though. Especially when the gift is a little plush doll of Sonic, the robot's often sought enemy. It's funny that a machine that is, by design, emotionless can express so much with just the angle of his face. In this case: Bemusement.

One of the joys of the Sonic Channel art is getting to see the “Sonic” cast members in different clothes and situations than you'd see in the video games or comics. It's clear that the artists behind these images really enjoys dressing the different characters in various cute little outfits. So, yes, of course, that means putting Rouge in a sexy Santa skirt for a Christmas image. That would probably be enough to make this memorable. The bat's body language is full of poise and attitude, as always. Yet what really seals this one for me is that the tree is decorated extensively with Rouge's favorite thing: Shiny jewels. If we are to assume that Christmas exist in Sonic's world, Rogue decorating her tree in such a manner is canon in my eyes. 

Sega once made an entire Christmas-themed sequel to “NiGHTS Into Dreams.” There have been at least one Halloween themed level in a “Sonic” game, alongside numerous snow and ice themed levels. All of this makes it surprising that there's never be a straight-up Christmas themed stage in any of the Sonic games. Yet, if one where to exist, it would probably look a lot like what we see in this image. Sonic grinding down candy cane patterned rails around festively festooned Christmas trees while snow falls overhead would surely be features in such a level. This painting shoves in as much holiday iconography as possible. Bells, ribbons, stockings, bulbs, lights, candy canes, Santa hats, gifts, holly sprig. As well as a lot of Sonic imagery, like Omochao, Sonic's shoes, a Chaos Emerald. I don't know about the giant billiard balls but otherwise this looks like a lot of fun. 

If you thought that Silver image was adorable, get a load of this shit. Ya know, we don't imagine gruff, cynical Shadow getting much into Christmas. He's pretty much the opposite of a sentimental guy and that means he would probably reject the most sentimental holiday. What this image suggests is a scenario where Shadow sits down to take a little nap, after a hard day of fighting robots or Chaos-Controlling or whatever it is he does. It seems his little Chao friend took it upon himself to decorate Shadow with seasonal accessories while he sleeps, including about to pin a Santa-like mustache on his snoozing face. It's cute as fuck and, when you think about how Shadow will react once he wakes up, it becomes pretty funny too. 

Last December, Sega sold a “Sonic”-themed Ugly Christmas sweater and mug – perfect for hot cocoa! – through their website. The sweater and mug where pretty fucking adorable and I wish I could've bought one or the other. Yet this quick little image assembled to promote the duo is even more delightful. Sonic is holding what I'm assuming is a carol book and wearing a sweater with Eggman's face on it. That raises some interesting questions. But what's really delightful about this one is how happy Sonic looks. Look at that smile! Pleased as punch to sell schlock with his face on it. What a consummate pitchman. I want to buy six now.

We are not done talking about napping yet. As cute as the previous images focused on curling up and passing out around the tree were, this one takes the cake. Sonic sleeps in a comfy chair, in the glow of the Christmas tree, with a Chao and a warm blanket on his chest. There's some plates and forks near-by, suggesting they probably just filled up with Christmas cake and passed right out. The little drawings on the frost on the windows makes this all the more precious. God, it looks so fucking cozy! If Christmas is fundamentally a holiday rooted in warm memories of home and childhood, this particular image really captured that.

My number two pick here, which is a much older image, invokes a lot of the same feelings. It has that warm glow to it, of gathering around the Christmas tree for a totally relaxed evening at home... Except there's a weird twist to this one that makes it all the more intriguing. First off, Sonic is alone inside his home(?), with his modest little tree. There's what appears to be a bottle of wine and a champagne glass on the table before him. If sipping on an adult beverage seems like an uncharacteristic behavior for Sonic, he's also sitting on a coach and reading a book, another very laidback activity for someone associated with speed. 

But that's just the most front-forward sign that something isn't off with this image. Beneath a massive, ominously yellow moon, Tails peers in through the window at his mentor. What exactly is going on here? The Christmas tree and the barren mountain tops in the distance implies the chilling cold of December outside this cozy home. Why is Tails outside looking in? Did he track Sonic down, in some sort of obsessive stalker scenario? The big, slightly unnerving smile on the little fox's face seems to imply that. The inverted smirk on Sonic's face, which suggest he's kind of grouchy in this moment, implies that maybe he was annoyed by Tails and threw him out.

They say a picture is worth a million words and, I guess, this is an image that really makes you wonder. Obviously, the weird or slightly unsettling undertones to this one is why I love it. Or maybe it's just a random hodgepodge of elements, thrown together to be marketable, that we weren't supposed to think about too hard. 

This image went low-key viral when it was new and, holy shit, how could it not? A Christmas card circulated among Sega staff in 2009, it's a deeply baffling and powerful image. Sonic, Bayonetta, and a xenomorph from the “Alien” series – three characters with wildly contrasting styles that appeal to totally different audiences – sitting in front of a festive fireplace, wearing Christmas sweaters would be enough for most artists. Yet this postcard goes even further. Bayonetta's hair is done up like a Christmas tree, topped with a star. She holds one of the “Super Monkey Ball' primates, bundled up like the Christ child, in what appears to be a wrapping paper/stocking combo. 

Sonic and Bayonetta smile with absolute glee while the xenomorph – who wears a Santa cap on the end of its phallic head, naturally – snarls. Is the alien monster smiling too? Or is he greatly annoyed to be here? Is the monster a minute away from attacking the other characters? Or is this as tranquil a gathering as can be expected between a seven foot tall dominatrix witch, two wacky cartoon animals, and a rape demon from outer space? I like to think it's the latter, truthfully. Because that's funnier to me. I think the xenomorph is wearing jeans too? And the angle suggests that the stool Sonic is sitting on is like five feet tall. The more I stare at this postcard, the more secrets it reveals. 

And with that, I'll sign off for tonight. Thank you for everyone who read Hedgehogs Can't Swim in the last year. Sorry I missed so many updates. I'll try and do better next year. I'm going to go ahead and start my coverage of “Sonic Prime” on Monday, hopefully. If you're celebrating this weekend, I hope everything goes swimmingly and you have a wonderful holiday. And if you're not celebrating, have a good one anyway because, if you're reading my words, obviously you're a way past cool dude.