Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 192

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 192
Publication Date: September 2008

During my previous Archie “Sonic” review, I complained a little about Ian Flynn's tendency to rely too much on fight scenes. Issue 191 ended with Robotnik unveiling a Metal Scourge, promising yet more fighting. Indeed, the second part of “Metal and Mettle” delivers on that promise. Scourge and Sonic's fight is temporarily put aside so they can fight their metal counterparts. They're getting their asses beat until Scourge calls in the Suppression Squad for reinforcement. Afterwards, Sonic postpones the fight and returns to Mobotropolis, where Sally has a not-sexy surprise for him.

Some Sonic fans just love-love Metal Sonic for reasons I've never entirely understood. Yeah, he's pretty cool looking but he has almost zero personality, by definition. Metal Scourge is even less of a compelling enemy. Any way you look at it, he's a copy of a copy, a second generation counterfeit. He's not even that cool looking, as throwing the red sunglasses and leather jacket on Metal Sonic is not great for his look. Worst yet, the character only survives a few pages before he's taken apart. That makes Metal Scourge a marginal footnote in Archie “Sonic” history. Which makes you wonder why Ian Flynn made a big deal about his first, and only, appearance.

Don't think that I can't enjoy a cool action scene. Tracy Yardley does contribute some cool panels. The two Metals bounce Sonic and Scourge around for a while, leading to a neat panel of the two embedded in the ground. After Metal Sonic is decapitated, in a nice touch, Sonic is shown bouncing the robot's head off his heels. That the two machines are defeated so easily is slightly disappointing but at least it gave Yardley an excuse to draw cool shit.

One of the most interesting aspects of the last issue was the similarities between them that Scourge pointed out to Sonic. This possibility that the hero and the villain may have more in common than either would like to admit was a nice touch. In part two, this plot point is barely brought up. Scourge mentions his proposal to Sonic in all of one panel, I think. This flushes away any of the script's nuances in favor of yet more fist fighting.

That Robotnik cooked up Metal Scourge in a few hours is actually brought up by the script. While Robotnik watches his robots fight the fleshies, Dimitri creeps up to the dictator and essentially asks him why he's wasting everyone's time. This segues ways into an interesting idea. Recently, Dimitri hinted that he was hoping to undermine Eggman's empire. This time, the Dark Legion leader discovers that Robotnik might've foresaw this. Every body in the Dark Legion has been outfitted with explosive devices, leaving few opportunities for subterfuge. Seeing Dimitri, a character who is noted for his power, this stymied is good writing.

Political shuffling is probably not what you read a “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic book for but Ian Flynn does it surprisingly well. After the above discovery, Dimitri and Lien-Da have an argument about who sold out who. Seeing the villains shuffle events in their minds, trying to lay blame and coming to terms with their current situation, is entertaining. Meanwhile, after Sonic returns to Knothole, he gets a mild shakedown from Elias for breaking the rules. In the past, Archie has stretched out Sonic's various treacheries for melodrama. Flynn is smarter than that, Elias brushing off Sonic annoying habit of undermining authority. You'd think everyone would be used to it, by now.

Scourge appears in the back-up story too. “Father and Son” begins with Scourge sneaking into Sonic's hut. Instead of encountering the blue hedgehog, he finds Jules waiting in a chair. The two have a tense stand-off. Scourge makes it clear that, back on Moebius, he murdered his own father. Jules, meanwhile, stands up for his own son, making it clear he won't back down without a fight. This show of force impresses Scourge enough that he slinks back off into the night.

Flynn's focused development of Scourge the Hedgehog continues with “Father and Son.” This time, we actually get some insight into his past. Continuing the mirror universe theme, instead of having a Great War, Scourge's Moebius had a Great Peace. Which made Scourge's tendency towards anarchy and petty thuggery a rebellion to the peaceful world he grew up in. Which extends up to committing patricide. This all suggests that growing up in war time, without his parents, actually helped contribute to Sonic's heroism. Which is interesting! That daddy killing bit also sheds some more light on what a bastard Scourge is, always a good development for a bad guy.

The backstory for Scourge is interesting but “Father and Son” is just as much about Jules. The script makes a big deal about this, showing how far Jules is willing to go to protect his kid. Which is nice but nothing we haven't seen from Sonic's dad before. Somehow, this speech is enough to shake Scourge to his core. On paper, that's nice, playing up the villain's newly acquired daddy issues. In effect, this backstory is biting off a little more than it can chew. Five pages isn't quite enough room to explore this subject. Jon Grey's artwork, which is typically garish, doesn't help the emotion of the story much.

Issue 192 is not Flynn's best work, though still far from a bad comic book. The guy is actively trying to incorporate some character development into a top-heavy action story. He just can't quite make it work. The problems aren't enough for me to dock this one's rating though. I still like it but it wouldn't have taken much to fix those problems. This one does have a pretty great cliffhanger, so hopefully next time will be better. [7/10]

Sonic X: Issue 36

Sonic X: Issue 36
Publication Date: August 2008

As Archie's primary “Sonic” cover artist for more than twenty years, Patrick Spaziante's obvious skills should speak for themselves. Every once in a while though, he would draw something that was just... Weird. Like the cover for issue 36 of “Sonic X.” For some reason, Spaz made the decision to illustrate the pets surrounding Sonic and Eggman in a hyper-realistic manner. The result is unnerving, as clearly cartoony characters are surrounded by nearly photo-realistic animals. That Sonic and Eggman have pained, unnerved facial expressions only adds to how uncomfortable this cover is to look at. It's not bad – Spaz's work is too detailed to qualify as 'bad” - but it's definitely weird looking. But at least it ties in perfectly with the story inside the book.

So, anyway, the plot: “Petastrophe” begins with Sonic dining with Chris Thorndyke and friends inside an ice cream shop. A spoiled little rich bitch named Milan Ramada marches in and starts being a massive cunt to Chris and his friends. This petty argument is thankfully interrupted by an Eggman attack, where the doctor steals the limo Milan rode in. The car's engine contains a special device called a Recombobulator – yes, really – that Eggman desires for some reason. Yet he needs a Chaos Emerald to power it. Instead of just stealing one like he usually does, Eggamn decides to participate in a pet show where a real Chaos Emerald is the prize. A pet show where Milan is also appearing. Chris enters Sonic into the same pet show strictly to spite both of their archenemies.

“Petastrophe” is another Joe Edkin dish. In the past, Edkin's work on “Sonic X” has ranged from deeply formulaic stories to enjoyably nutty homages to classic genre cinema. With this story and his previous credit, the writer is showing a previously unseen and deeply unseemly preachy side. His story for issue 33 included an annoying moral about the advantages of intelligence over brute strength. “Petastrophe” pauses for two sequences so Cream can learn a lesson on the importance of leash training your pets. At first, the cartoon bunny is disturbed by Earthlings putting animals in cages and on leashes. After Eggman's shenanigans causes a bunch of pets to go ape-shit, Cream realizes leashes are necessary. It's an odd lesson to include in a “Sonic” comic, firstly, and seems more-or-less disconnected with the rest of the story.

And what is the rest of the story about? Mostly, making fun of Paris Hilton. By 2008, Hilton's status as an inescapable, inexplicably famous celebrity starlet was on the wan. The vile Kardashian brood was already beginning to supplant her. So Edkin choosing to make fun of her in a kid's comic was a weird decision. His characterization of Milan Ramada as a deeply petty, manipulative, vicious little bitch borders on the mean-spirited. (Though I have no doubt that twelve year old Paris Hilton was an equally terrible human being.) Considering Chris Thorndyke is also the child of insanely rich parents, it's odd to make his heated enemy another rich kid. You'd think Milan would consider Chris an equal, instead of someone to look down on. The book points out this factoid, claiming Chris isn't a hateful piece of garbage like Milan. Okay, sure, but it's not like he can relate to the struggles of the working class either.

When the book isn't lecturing kids on pet safety or lobbing soft balls at Paris Hilton, it's contrasting Sonic and friends with normal Earth animals. Which does admittedly lead to some cute moments. Such as Sonic encountering a realistic hedgehog and pausing in confusion at the strange creature. Or Sonic getting examined by the judges. (Disappointingly, Edkins doesn't throw in a panel of Knuckles comparing genitalia with a real echidna.) Sadly, Eggman trying to pass Bokkun off as a cat is a less amusing. Christ, it's barely a joke.

That is a good example of how incredibly stupid Eggman's plan is, even by the standards of his previous evil plots. Eggman randomly grabs this Recombobulator thing, which does not come up in the rest of the story. He needs a Chaos Emerald to power it, even though it was inside a car motor for some reason. Though Eggman has shown no qualms about stealing Chaos Emeralds before, he decides to fairly compete for it. Also: Why the fuck is a pet show giving away an incredibly volatile, literally magical power source? I know this is a kid's comedy book but, gee whiz, is a little internal consistency too much to ask for?

This is an action comic, theoretically. Issue 36 does feature some mildly diverting action scenes. An early bit has Sonic grabbing missiles that Eggman has launched into Station Square as a distraction. (Which is a nice reminder that, even if the book plays him exclusively for comedy, Eggman is still a wantonly destructive terrorist.) The pages devoted to the hedgehog grabbing the missiles before they hit innocent bystanders are pretty good. The book's big conclusion has Sonic and Eggman's fight causing an animal riot at the pet show. For some reason, cheetahs, giant snakes, and red tail hawks where invited to this pet show. Weirdly, the big hero moments belongs to Cream. She shows off a previously unseen super-ability, releasing a sonic scream that throws back three snarling dobermans. It really comes out of nowhere but James Fry's pencils at least look nice.

So it's another middling, pretty dumb issue of “Sonic X.” I'm honestly surprised I keep finding new things to say about this comic book. I could save myself a lot of trouble and just type the words “It stinks!” 499 times. But, no, I've got to be a professional for my cartoon hedgehog blog. I'm going to whisper “Only four more issues of Sonic X!” into my pillow before falling asleep tonight. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 191

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 191
Publication Date: August 2008

Ian Flynn did so many great things for Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” series. However, his compulsion towards comic book style stories was sometimes a weakness. By that, I mean Flynn just couldn't resist answering the “who would win in a fight?” query that is commonplace among comic readers. His tendency to match vaguely similar characters up just so they could duke it out became a little too prominent in the second half of 2008.

A few days have passed since Scourge and the Suppression Squad successfully took over Freedom H.Q. In Mobotropolis, Sonic tries to convince the Council of Acorn to send reinforcements into the base and help reclaim it. They refuse his offer, saying the city should focus its efforts on Robotnik. Even Knuckles, who is still suffering from guilt over his actions as Enerjak, refuses to help. So Sonic goes it alone. When he gets there, he discovers Scourge fighting Metal Sonic, who Robotnik sent to Freedom H.Q. unaware of its current occupants.

The first half of “Metal and Mettle” – I see what you did there, Ian – can basically be summed up as “Scourge vs. Metal Sonic, with Regular Sonic joining in later.” Plot wise, it's not a super strong premise. Robotnik just randomly sent Metal Sonic to Freedom HQ, apparently unaware that the Suppression Squad claimed it recently. When he discover this, the villain decides to waste resources and let Metal Sonic capture Scourge anyway, assuming one brightly colored hedgehog is as good as any other. I don't mind the action theatrics. Tracy Yardley's action scenes remain as strong as ever. There's some good panels of people getting kicked, tossed, spin-dashed, blasted, and flipped through the air. But the writing comes off as slightly slapdash.

What makes the conflict a little more compelling is the conversation between the fighters. While Metal Sonic wails on Scourge, the evil Miles sarcastically refuses to help. This shows that there is some dissent within the Suppression Squad ranks. Later, while fighting among themselves, Sonic and Scourge share a dialogue paralleling their conversation in issue 172. Only this time, Scourge is on the lecturing end. He offers Sonic a hand, telling his heroic counterpart that they could team up and conquer the whole universe. Sonic naturally refuses but the split second of doubt he shows makes the fight a little more meaningful. He sees just enough of himself in Scourge that the villain's dastardly actions infuriates him even more.

There are aspects I like and dislike about the political subplot. Sonic asking the Council of Acorn for assistance on this mission adds some depth to the comic's world. There are factors to consider in the New Mobotropolis. Yet their total dismissal of Sonic's plan to reclaim Freedom H.Q. makes them look like assholes. (And idiots. Do they really want enemies to their city living so close to them?) Sonic telling the Council to fuck off and going ahead on his own seems in character. But it also makes you wonder why Ian decided to include that scene at all. If Sonic was going to do what he wanted anyway, why introduce the conflict?

Maybe the most interesting aspect of “Metal and Mettle: Part 1” is what Knuckles is feeling. The young Guardian is still struggling with his guilt. He explodes at Sonic, the memory of his father's death nearly bringing him to tears. Later, he has an argument with Julie-Su. Knuckles is essentially feeling directionless. His dad and all the other men who micromanaged his life up to this point are gone. His recent stint as Enerjak might have been under Finitevus' control but Knuckles still feels guilty for that, considering that period as an extension of his desire to reunite his people. Flynn comes very close to pushing this too far, making Knuckles seem like a jerk. Yet I admire the author for running with this plot point.

Knuckles lashing out at Sonic and Julie-Su may threaten to make him seem like an asshole. (Considering the comic has always hammered home how Julie-Su was destined to be Knuckles' greatest love, it is refreshing to seem them argue like a real couple.) Yet it does set up a pretty nice resolution. While sulking on the Floating island, Charmy helps Knuckles out of his flunk by reminding him that life presents many opportunities.  After returning to Knothole, Knuckles and Julie-Su make up in a way that fits both of their thorny personalities. It's some cute character work.

Back-up stories have been rare around here for a while. They make a comeback with “Invaders from Beyond.” It's another one of those stories designed to sell whatever Sega's latest Sonic game was. This one ties in with “Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood,” an RPG made for the Nintendo DS. Anyway, Tails and Knuckles are setting up some sort of trap, sticking a Chaos Emerald in the middle of a device reverse-engineered from the Tornado. This preparation is interrupted by a band of echidnas in black armor, calling themselves the Marauders. They beat the shit out of Knuckles, grab the Emerald, and speed off with the heroic echidna. Go buy the video game to find out what happens next.

“Invaders from Beyond” introduces a new tactic Ian would employ any time Sega called on him to promote a video game. He sets this one in “Another Time, Another Place.” This is essentially short-hand for a story set outside of continuity. Flynn has, more or less, being doing this for some time anyway. It's not like that story that introduced Marine the Raccoon had any effect on the main plot.
This technique allows Flynn to throw the towel in, to tell readers to not even worry about this one.

It's a good tactic, since “Invaders from Beyond” is fairly disposable. We learn nothing about the Marauders, their objectives, or feelings. About the only thing that makes this one worth reading is the zeal with which Knuckles fights his attacks. Otherwise, it's totally skippable. That Flynn would toss “Sonic Chronicles” into the non-continuity bin is interesting, considering the RPG was directly inspired by the comic book. The villains were based on the Dark Legion and Shade, Knuckles' potential love interest who briefly appears here, was based on Julie-Su.

It's not a ground breaking issue or anything. Flynn's need to get to the fights so quickly makes the cover story a little rushed and sloppy. Knuckles' ethical crisis makes the issue a little stronger. He ends the cover on a less-than-promising cliffhanger, introducing another metallic couple. The back-up isn't worth investigating further though. This isn't my most enthusiastic [7/10] but it's still a positive review.

Sonic X: Issue 35

Sonic X: Issue 35
Publication Date: July 2008

Think way back, Archie “Sonic” faithfuls. Take a look at some of the book's early covers. I'm talking about, specifically, issue 19. If you have a memory for this kind of bullshit, you may recall that issue 19 of Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” series featured multiple Sonics on the cover, each one in wildly different costumes. Fourteen years later, the “Sonic X” spin-off series would pay homage to that cover. This issue features Eggman in a number of crazy, different costumes and personas. I mean, I assume this is a deliberate throwback. Maybe it's just a wacky coincidence.

“Cracking the Eggman!” begins with a mysterious crime wave gripping Station Square. Multiple strange, mustached men have robbed banks all over the city. The Chaotix are brought into investigated but Sonic is fairly certain Eggman is behind this. He tracks down the villain and discovers him in different costumes, sporting bizarre personality shifts. He eventually discovers that Eggman is on a weird sugar rush and conspires to run the bad guy's batteries down.

By 2008, the bag of ideas that the “Sonic X” writers got their comic premises out of was empty. This forced them to dig up increasingly desperate story concepts, somehow dragging this book's sad, pathetic existence out for a few more issues. Issue 35 of “Sonic X” can be boiled down to “Eggman Plays Dress-Up!” The “Sonic X” version of Robotnik has always been a clownish opponent. By this point, any threat level he might have had was completely depleted. This Eggman is a loser, a moron, and a lame excuse for an adversary. So why not watch him dance through a series of goofy costumes? Why the fuck not? Nothing fucking matters anyway.

In that spirit of “Fuck it! Who cares?,” I'll admit to getting some entertainment value out of the different personalities Eggman cycles through. He first appears as a viking, dragging a long ship through the streets of the city and speaking in a ridiculous Norwegian accent. He later shows up as a pirate, a ninja, and a knight, bringing a new, bizarre vocal inflection along with each new outfit. In an honestly rather impressive two page spread, Sonic tricks the villain into leaping through a dozen different outfits. A few these – such as a vampire or an Elvis Presley impersonator – are mildly cute visual gags. Even better, there's a bizarre gag where Eggman wears a fur suit and Chris Thorndyke's clothes. Chew on that, weirdos.

Another fleetingly amusing aspect of “Cracking the Eggman!” is how Sonic's opinion towards his enemy has evolved. This version of Sonic has always treated his opponent as more of a nuisance than anything else. He's never outright hated the guy, even if he's attempted to murder him countless times. By this point in the series, he's even developing a clear pity for him. Sonic helps Eggman get back to normal because he feels bad for him. Maybe he would just like his regular archenemy back, instead of this bananas bullshit. Yet a hero who actively pities his primary opponent is an interesting idea.

I probably would've given issue 35 a six outta ten and left it at that. If it wasn't for that ending. The reveal that Eggman went crazy because he had sweets for breakfast is fucking stupid. I've had my share of sugar highs and never went on a costume-fueled rampage. What makes this plot reveal even dumber is how the book handles it. In the final pages, Sonic chastises Eggman for eating too much junk food. The book ends with a moral, explaining to the audience that sugary foods should be consumed in moderation and should never be eaten for breakfast. I get this book was pitched at a really young crowd but do not appreciate them talking down to me in this manner. Seriously, kids, don't take nutritional advice from a “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic book.

For some reason, the Chaotix are in this comic. Why? I don't know. They are interviewed by that reoccurring newswoman character whose name I've never bothered to learn. They show up at the end, making a stupid assumption about this situation. I guess this was for comic relief or something but it's not funny. Maybe Ian Flynn, who wrote this one, just wanted an excuse to shoehorn in some characters he's fond of or something? I don't know. “Sonic X” has raised a lot of baffling questions recently.

The artwork is pretty good. James Fry is clearly having fun doodling Eggman in these ridiculous get-ups. Fry probably didn't get many other chances to draw a viking ship. Fry seems to be the only Archie regular artist whose style wasn't compromised by the mandates of the “Sonic X” book. So it's not complete shit, even if the book is so clearly, obviously begging for the executives to put a bullet in its head. Hold on, baby, we've got five more of these things to wade through. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 190

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 190
Publication Date: July 2008

Hey, take a look at that cover! During the early days of the “Knuckles” title, Patrick Spaziante used to gift us with triptych covers all the time. It looked like “The Darkest Storm” three-parter would be our last one of those. Yet it appears Tracy Yardley decided to take a shot at something similar with the “Brand New Moebius” two-parter. Honestly, it's sort of bold that Archie was willing to publish a “Sonic” comic that didn't technically have Sonic on the cover. (I guess, to the untrained eye, Scourge is basically the same character.)

The battle royale continues from last week's cliffhanger. With Sonic and Scourge now inside Freedom H.Q., the two hedgehogs begin to rumble. Scourge reveals that he's conquered his home world in a few weeks and intends on taking over this version of Mobius next. Meanwhile, in Robotnik's city, Knuckles and the Chaotix hold off another attack from the Dark Egg Legion in order to rescue the remaining Chaotix.

In my previous review, I noted how Ian Flynn has finally transformed the Freedom Fighters' Mirror Universe counterparts into distinct characters. He gave a few of them new visuals gimmicks and each got a unique nickname. In “Duality,” the second part of “A Brand New Moebius,” Flynn literally has Scourge announce that he's distinguished himself and his team from their heroic doppelgangers. So I guess you could say I called that one.

Though the likes of Boomer, Princess Alicia, and Miles are more distinct then they've previously been, Scourge is still Flynn's main focus. The villainous hedgehog spends a little too much time talking about his accomplishments in his home dimension, when perhaps Ian should have shown us. Yet the comic does make the point that Sonic's evil clone is more dangerous than he's ever been. There's a panel where Sonic nearly pushes Scourge back through the portal. After Fiona pulls him back from the edge, he angrily snaps at her. He's grabbing his crown back but the panel is drawn in such a way that it looks like he hit her. Following this, there's a striking panel devoted to the Suppression Squad looking on, dismayed and disturbed. The point is clear: Scourge isn't a joke anymore. He's a dangerous, potentially unhinged character who frightens his own henchmen.

The Suppression Squad is such an effective collection of bad guys that... They actually win. At least temporarily. After trying the same strategy they employed in issue 24's “When Hedgehogs Collide” - switching fight partners – the two are still locked in a stalemate. Sally actually instructs the heroes to fall back. Considering SEGA's hard line “Sonic Can't Loose” mandate, it's always a surprise to see the hedgehog suffer a setback like this. Flynn makes it apparent that this loss especially stings. This isn't like loosing to Robotnik, a genius with an entire army behind him. This is Scourge, a character who was defeated by pre-bad-ass Antoine in a prior appearance. The author makes sure to show how pissed Sonic is to retreat from these guys.

Still, for all the world-building and character growth on display here, this is primarily a story devoted to fisticuffs. Sonic gets tossed into a wall, the Antoines lock swords, Princess Alicia receives a spin-dash to the groin. Tails stomps on Miles' head. Scourge even kicks Amy Rose in the jaw, which especially infuriates Sonic. If that seems like grist for the SonAmy crowd, Flynn still sneaks in some flirtatious banter between Sonic and Sally. Honestly, Sonic and Sally's sly battlefield relationship is increasingly becoming one of my favorite things about the book. It's not the only romantic moment among the chaos. Bunnie also takes a moment to make sure Antoine's head isn't getting clouded by a thirst for revenge. Awww, they really do care about each other!

Flynn's script is still splitting time between Knothole and Robotropolis. It works a little more smoothly this time. This is thanks to a similar strategy as the above. After the Dark Legion opens fire on the Chaotix, Vector of all people gives Knuckles' a pep talk. Letting the Guardian know that now isn't the time for self-pity, that the Dark Legion still willingly allied themselves with a genocidal dictator. This, along with the renewed objection of rescuing Charmy, Saffron, and Ray, gives this end of the plot some more focus. And, hey, it's always fun to watch Mighty and Julie-Su tearing shit up.

There's even a slight pause, seemingly answering a minor complaint I had with the last issue. Dimitri's weird new scorpion body gets quickly destroyed. Afterwards, Knuckles outright asks the guy why he would align himself with someone like Robotnik. Dimitri then implies that he's actually planning to dismantle the Eggman Empire from the inside. So, in one quick writing move, Flynn restored the complexity and duplicity that Dimitri is known for. Good job.

In fact, “Duality” is a big improvement over the first half in a lot of ways. The focus is still on mindless fighting but the threat is more serious, there's more room for the cast's personality, and the conclusion comes with a big cost. The first half of “A Brand New Moebius” was fun but Ian really sticks the landing. [8/10]

Sonic X: Issue 34

Sonic X: Issue 34
Publication Date: June 2008

I probably sound like a broken record at this point but the material presents me with very few other options: As Archie's “Sonic X” series slowly moved towards its conclusion, it became more and more apparent how totally out of ideas the writers were. “Sonic X” has always operated under the general philosophy of “let's throw random shit at Sonic.” At least gold nuggets like “Leprechaun robots!” and “Transforming robots!” fit the series to a degree. Lately, premises like “Eggman is a wrestler now!” and “Sonic joins the circus!” suggests that the writer's room was really scraping the bottom of the barrel. And yet, somehow, the barrel just keeps going. Issue 34 is the pool party edition of “Sonic X.” Yes, really.

The creatively entitled “Fool Party!” begins when Sonic, aghast, reads that the Chris' dad is throwing a charity donation pool party... With Sonic's attendance as part of the deal. Since Sonic hates swimming, this is a problem. When Eggman donates what looks to be about a billion dollars to become that special guest, it becomes more of a problem. Weirdly – or not, considering this version of Robotnik is an even bigger moron – the villain doesn't just use this as an opportunity to firebomb Sonic and friends. Instead, he actually uses the pool party as a chance to get closer to Chuck Thorndyke's new invitation, some super powerful engine or something. Anyway, shenanigans ensue.

In Japanese anime, episodes where the cast of characters go to a bath house are so common that there's an entire wiki devoted to it. Since about fifty percent of anime is aimed at perverts, this is usually an excuse to get the female characters in no or very little clothing. It's such a common troupe that even a sci-fi show like “Outlaw Star” devoted a whole episode to such a setting. “Fool Party!” kind of plays like the G-rated version of this, lacking the fan service but keeping the other ideas you associate with the concept. (Though Amy and Cream are in bathing suits, if you're into that kind of thing, you fucking weirdo.) In other words, the script is devoted to goofy poolside antics and the characters generally relaxing.

Ian Flynn does, rather disturbingly, add a romantic element to “Fool Party!” While Eggman is trying to weasel the location of the engine out of Chuck Thorndyke, something distracts him. Ella – yes, the Thorndyke's offensively stereotypical Latina maid – walks to the pool in a bathing suit. Eggman apparently finds this sight so enticing that it more-or-less derails his entire incompetent scheme. You know, different strokes for different folks. I'm not judging the guy's taste in women. I guess if a cast member of “Sonic X” had to give Eggman a boner, Ella is the least horrible choice. Yet this is just a further example of how totally useless this Eggman is as an adversary. But mostly it's just gross and weird. I don't want to think about Eggman having sex, much less with a matronly older woman. Why did you put that image in my head, Ian Flynn?!

Aside from that horror, there is one mildly – and I'm talking the mildest of mild sauces here – amusing gag in “Fool Party!” Sonic's reluctance to participate in the pool party has less to do with Eggman showing up and more to do with his general hydrophobia. He stays at the side of the pool for most of the issue until Eggman's challenge of a belly flopping contest forces him to jump into the water. It's the thinnest wisp of a joke but, considering this indirectly references my blog's title, it gave me the briefest flicker of amusement.

In truth, the pool party premise is so diaphanous that Ian's attention quickly wanders. Being robots with shitty water proofing, Bocoe and Decoe cannot participate in the poolside gaiety. Tails' offers to fuck around with their programming to, perhaps, allow them to dip into the water. All the fox succeeds in doing is setting off Eggman's built-in fail safe against program tampering. The two comic relief robots immediately become murderous kill-bots, pursuing Tails. Sonic's sidekick only escape certain de-meatment due to Eggman's dive bomb into the pool, emptying the pool's contents into the surrounding yard. This is an example of Flynn desperately pawing around for some sort of plot to beef up this meager story.

During my previous “Sonic X” review, I noted how the quality of David Hutchinson's artwork varies wildly from issue to issue. Hutchinson's pencils for issue 33 were actually pretty good. His pencils for issue 34 are actually pretty bad. The robots look slightly off-model and kind of unintentionally creepy. Hutchinson seems to have trouble drawing Sonic and Tails' eyes, as both look weirdly cross-eyed in a few panels. Grandpa Chuck suffers the worst of it. There's two panels where Chuck's face twist into deeply unfortunate looking expressions. One has him biting his tongue in abject horror, the other has him screaming madly against a swirling backdrop. It's a bummer that these bad moments are so glaring. Otherwise, Hutchinson's pencils are decent enough.

Most of the “Sonic X” comics have been squarely mediocre. Issue 34 hits a new low. There's really no point to this story at all. I mean, shit, they could've at least put Rouge or Topaz in bikinis. I'd even accept Chris' mom in skimpy swimwear, a visual teased on the cover that the book does not deliver on. You know, anything to actually justify this comic book's existence. It's not as if inappropriate fan service is something unseen here. Instead, we get a bunch of aimless slapstick antics that are even more dire than usual. It's a disposable issue, even by the admittedly slack standards set by the other issues of “Sonic X.” Just six more of these fucking things. [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 189

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 189
Publication Date: June 2008

After taking some time to develop Mammoth Mogul, Ian Flynn returns to one of his pet characters for issue 189 of Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog.” Scourge the Hedgehog had already proven himself to be a worthy opponent in the previous year. Beginning with this issue, Ian would spend most of the rest of 2008 allowing Scourge to dig out his rightful place among Sonic's greatest enemies, among other changes to the book's world.

Sonic, Knuckles, and the Chaotix strike against Robontik's lair. Knuckles hopes to reason with Lien-Da, the Kommisar of the newly formed Dark Egg Legion. Instead, the group is only attacked. Meanwhile, in New Mobotropolis, Tails and Rotor are startled when the inter-dimensional Goal Post activate by themselves. The Anti-Freedom Fighters, who have re-dubbed themselves the Suppression Squad, bust through and being to wreck everyone's shit. Sally and the others hold off the attack as long as possible until Sonic can return. Just in time for Scourge, who has crowned himself king, to make his big entrance.

When Ian transformed Evil Sonic into Scourge, he turned a relatively indistinct bad guy into a villain that actually had some personality. With the first half of the two-parter, “A Bold New Moebius,” he intends to do the same with the rest of the Freedom Fighter's evil doppelgangers. Since “Anti-Freedom Fighters” makes no sense, the team has been renamed the far catchier Suppression Squad. Mostly, it's a cosmetic change focusing on giving these guys unique names. Evil Sally is now Princess Alicia, Evil Rotor is now Boomer (and sports some cybernetic implants), Evil Antoine is now Patch.

However, Ian does slip some tiny character moments in here. Evil Tails is disgusted by his Mobius counterpart, refusing to accept a degrading nickname and going by Miles. The resentment Alicia feels against Fiona, Scourge's new queen, also helps distinguish her a little. Patch displays unerring loyalty to Scourge. It's not a lot but it's still more character development than these characters have gotten in their first twenty years of existence.

What most of this story is devoted to is the same thing that usually happens when the Freedom Fighters meet their Mirror Universe counterparts: A big ol' fight. Still, there's something to be sad for how Flynn sneaks small character aspects into action scenes. Sally continues to act as a keen tactician, devising a plan in the middle of the fight. She also just gets to kick some ass, like when she lays a spinning jump kick on Fiona. Bunnie isn't concerned about the Suppression Squad at first, before the villains show how dangerous they now are. Antoine questions Fiona's alliance shift. Some of these panels are funnier than others. Such as Amy Rose threatening Patches with her giant hammer, a genuinely amusing moment.

If there's any weakness with this otherwise serviceable story, it's Ian's decision to split it into. The Suppression Squad invading Freedom H.Q. Is what we're really invested in. Sonic and the Chaotix's trip into Robotropolis is less interesting in comparison. Still, there's some values to those moments. Just seeing Sonic play off the Chaotix is fun. Mostly, Ian continues to realistically write Knuckles' guilt over his actions as Enerjak. Even though Lien-Da has done nothing but antagonize him throughout their entire history together, Knuckles still tries to reach out to her for the betterment of their sequences. I was worried Flynn would brush Knuckles' guilt aside so I'm pleased that he's taking the time to address that point.

The political changes inside the Dark Legion are less compelling. It seems unlikely to me that Robotnik and the Legion's forces would integrate so instantly. Also, “Dark Egg Legion” is a really silly name. And speaking of silly things! Near the end of this story, Dimitri lands in a rocket before Lien-Da. He exits the ship, his floating bubble head attached to a very goofy looking robotic scorpion body. This version of Dimitri didn't stick around very long, so I guess Flynn even realized how silly it looked. I'm also slightly disappointed in Dimitri's backsliding towards typical evil antics, considering he had developed into one of the comic's more complex bad guys.

The script is flawed but still mostly fun. On the artwork side of things, Tracy Yardley really brings his A-game. His page construction comes off as especially dynamic in this issue. He alternates between typical box-shaped panels and more angular, swooping panels. This help sells the action aspect of this issue. The character expressions are very strong, the frustration and anger felt by both teams coming through. There's also some nice shading. A panel of Knuckles rearing up a punch or Saffron grimly noticing an approaching army look very moody. The same can be said of the final page, devoted totally to a truly sinister looking Scourge appearing on Mobius.

It's not a great issue but the author sneaks in enough small, expressive moments that elevate what would otherwise be just another issue of fight scenes. The cliffhanger works surprisingly well too. I'm pumped to read the next issue, even if I vaguely recall where this story is going. Some times a [7/10] isn't a bad thing. Some times it's a pretty good thing!

Sonic Free Comic Book Day 2008

Sonic Free Comic Book Day 2008
Publication Date: May 2008

In 2007, Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” series participated in Free Comic Book Day for the first time. For that special occasion, Archie had Ian Flynn write up an original story. Sonic fans were essentially getting a totally new adventure, free of charge. It was a pretty cool deal. So what did the company do for the 2008 Free Comic Book Day edition? Reprints! Ah, that's more like the tightwad, cheap-ass Archie I know and tolerate.

Specifically, 2008's Free Comic Book Day special contains a reprint of the very first issue of “Sonic the Hedgehog” Archie ever published. No, I'm not talking about issue 0 of the original mini-series, which was previously reprinted in “Sonic Firsts.” I'm referring to the literal first issue from the on-going series. It's almost an exact reprint too. We get “Meet Me at the Corner of Hedgehog and Vine,” where Robotnik attempts to choke the Freedom Fighters out of the Great Forest with the robotic Krudzu weed. We get all of “You Bet My Life!,” where Sonic is lured to the Casino Night Zone just to get shoved into a giant pinball machine. This reprint even includes the goofy one-page gag comics and the free bookmarks.

Last time I reviewed a reprint, I used it as an opportunity to comment on how much the book had changed in that time. Amazingly, this particular comic was published a whole eleven years after that last batch of reprints. So the question has to be asked again: How much has the comic change? Tonally, not quite as much as you'd expect. During the grim Penders/Bollers years, the slapstick of the earlier issues seemed totally out of place. Though Ian Flynn's run didn't lack serious action, he returned a light touch and comedic energy to the book that had been missing for a long time. You wouldn't find Robotnik being harmlessly exploded in the book in 2008 but you probably could spot a one-liner or a moment of goofy physical comedy.

The years have also shown a change in target audience. I think Archie was always hoping the seven-to-twelve year old crowd would be picking up “Sonic.” I'm sure that has always made up a portion of their buyers. Yet the book in 1992 and the book in 2008 seemed to be aiming for very different readers. The 1992 stories were full of broad physical slapstick, simplistic plots, and characters acting like dumbasses to advance the story. The 2008 stories were more serialized, focused more on the character's relationships, and devoted to building up Sonic's world. Ian's stories seem to skewer slightly older, in the moments when he outright wasn't aiming for the series' long time fans.

The characters represent by far the biggest difference between the book when it started and the book as it existed in 2008. In 1992, Sonic speaks exclusively in self-aggravating “cool” comments. He rarely misses a chance to annoy his enemies and rivals. He makes quite a few fourth wall breaking comments. Over all, he's more of a jerk. Sally was the girly straight man to Sonic's shenanigans. Antoine is a total coward, totally ineffectual and ridiculous. Rotor – excuse me, Boomer – has a snarky wit that would largely disappear. Tails is a complete moron, nearly helping the Krudzu attack Freedom H.Q. in the first story. Robotnik, meanwhile, was an egotistical buffoon who comically tormented his robot servants and cooked up goofy plans to defeat his enemies.

Archie choosing to republish this particular issue at this time is interesting. It's obvious that Ian Flynn went back to these early stories for inspiration and minor details. Some of the obscure bits of lore he dug up for his then-current run first appeared here. Flynn would bring back Freedom H.Q., which would be forgotten as the series started to hew more towards SatAM. Just the other day, I was reviewing a story set in the Casino Nights Zone, which first appeared here. It would be a while longer but Flynn would also soon bring the Krudzu, by far one of Sonic's most obscure enemies, back. Ian clearly knew his “Sonic” history.

Looking back at these old stories, it's hard to miss the book “Sonic” once was. The first “Sonic” stories Archie published were nothing more than fluff designed to promote a video game and separate a kid from his two bucks. I have no illusion that “Sonic” in 2008 was high art but at least it was trying to tell emotionally resonant stories, with fully formed characters the reader was invested in. Having said that, occasionally the free-wheeling early days did provide some fun stuff. Book marks and chili dog recipes certainly weren't anything you'd see in “Sonic” in 2008.

I certainly do not miss Dave Manak's artwork. Archie had seen a lot of subpar artwork in their “Sonic” book over its long run. After Flynn had established his vision for the series, the artwork suddenly became pretty consistent. Tracy Yardley and Matt Herms weren't perfect but they usually delivered a decent looking product. I don't even hate Dave Manak's pencils but they are undeniably sloppy. Characters are jagged but loose, not sticking to on-model most of the time. Manak made great use of cartoon motion lines to hide detail. This just draws attention to the sad facts: The “Sonic” book was originally a quickie product, made with minimum care and effort. It would take a few years for it to evolve into something more interesting.

You'd think Archie would've at least stuck some extras or goodies into this reprint. To give older fans some reason to pick this up, right? Not really! The only really cool addition we get is the cover. Patrick Spaziante redraws Manak's original issue 1 cover, using the then incarnations of the characters. And it's a pretty neat cover, full of Spaz's trademark details and sense of motion. Aside from that, we get an introduction from Flynn that boils down to telling readers to buy the books Archie actually charges money for. This promotional mood continues in the back, as the last page also encourages readers to pick up the various paperback collections Archie was publishing at the time.

In fact, the book going out of its way to promote the archive collection that Archie was rolling out back in 2008 makes me suspect this entire Free Comic Book Day special was an extended ad for those books. “Like this old shit? Here's some more! But you actually have to pay for these!” 2008's FCBD special would set something of a precedent. The free books would frequently alternate between containing new stories and reprints. I guess we really couldn't expect Archie to give away a brand new comic book every year, now could we? Anyway, there's zero reason to pick this up if you own the original issue one, unless you absolutely have to have that cool new Spaz cover.  I really don't know why I reviewed it either. [6/10]

Sonic X: Issue 33

Sonic X: Issue 33
Publication Date: May 2008

With issue 33 of Archie's “Sonic X” series, original head writer Joe Edkin returns to the book. I have no idea why Edkin took such an extended break, leaving Ian Flynn and a random selection of other people to pen the scripts. Nor do I know why Edkin would come back at this point. Maybe Flynn was busy with the main “Sonic” book. Maybe Archie was already planning “Sonic X's” end and wanted to bring back the original writer to create a sense of finality. Who knows? Sad to say, Edkin's uneven skills did not improve during his vacation from this title.


 “Meteor Madness” begins with Sonic and pals having a cook-out. While Chris Thorndyke bemoans how few adventures he has, Grandpa Chuck spots a meteor with his telescope. This bit of news becomes more urgent when Chuck announces that there's a Chaos Emerald inside the meteor. The group of friends – which includes the Chaotix, recently returned to Earth – head out on a wild scavenger hunt, forming teams and seeing who can make it to the Emerald first.

The scavenger hunt idea starts out as mildly amusing. Some good natured-competition between friends is always a nice way to ratchet up tension inside a story. Sadly, “Meteor Madness” quickly falls into an exhausting zany streak. Not to mention some spotty continuity. Sonic running to the North Pole from where ever the hell the Thorndyke mansion is located is one thing. Running fast is Sonic's thing. But how the heck do the other characters keep up with this pace? “Meteor Madness” has the team running all over the world and it raises some serious questions.

But back to that zany aspect. While in South America, the meteor changes hands more times than I could count. Rouge zips in, determined to have it for herself. Amy gets a little too involved, threatening to smash people with her hammer. The Chaotix grab the meteor only to loose it. Big the Cat is here for some reason. What could've been a mildly cute gag – Eggman is on vacation, relaxing in a mud bath – is interrupted when the heroes run through the doctor's base, dipping him too deep into the mud.

If the overbearing physical comedy wasn't your first clue, “Meteor Madness” catches “Sonic X” in an especially juvenile mood. Edkin is getting at a moral here. In the early pages, Chris Thorndykes expresses some misgivings about how Sonic and his friends always have all the adventures. After forming a team with Cream and Charmy, Chris tags behind the others on the chase. In the end, Chris is revealed to have grabbed the Emerald from the meteor when nobody was looking. This proves his worth to the time and, presumably, imposes on the young reader's how observation and planning is sometimes more important than brute strength.

The only problem is... Chris Thorndyke is a whiny little bitch. Those panels devoted to Chris talking about how he wished he had more adventure in his life are insufferable. Shit, kid, aren't you like ten years old? Don't you realize you aren't cut out for adventuring? Jesus, why does Sonic put up with this entitled little brat? Your parents are fucking loaded, Chris. Enjoy the fact that you can have absolutely any material possession in the world for your entire life and stop trying to force yourself into life risking adventures with your furry friends.

Truthfully, I think Edkin was aiming his writing at a very young crowd with this one. “Sonic X” has always skewed younger than Archie's other, superior “Sonic” book. But this particular issue is practically aimed at the kindergarten crowd. More than once, Edkin's narration boxes push over into overly pushy, outright asking the reader questions. In case you didn't get the obvious moral, Edkin pins on another narration box on the final page, outright explaining today's lesson. Maybe the six-to-seven crowd would have less of a problem with this.

Having said that, at least the artwork is pretty good. You never really know what level of quality you're going to get when David Hutchinson is drawing an issue. Some of his illustrations have been the best artwork “Sonic X” has ever seen. Some of his other pencils have been the worst artwork to appear in this book. Luckily, Hutchinson is bringing his A-game with this one. Everyone is on-model. There's an expressive, fluid aspect to the action sequences. The change in locations allows for some colorful backgrounds. There's even a surprising amount of detail in the scenes devoted to Eggman's robot, suggesting Hutchinson had been taking pointers from Steven Butler. So at least the artwork's nice.

Oh, and one more thing. Joe Edkin leans on another annoying habit in this issue. He takes time to reference stuff that happened on the cartoon show. Knuckles makes some vague reference to fighting a robot ninja at one point. Is it too much to ask for this comic book to stand alone? Around the same time, Edkins also takes the time to correct a continuity error. Edkin had the Chaotix getting zapped back to Sonic's world off-panel many issues ago. Ian Flynn, in his Valentine's Day special, had Vector and his crew back on Earth without explanation. Edkin takes the easy way out and just says that the Chaotix were teleported back to Earth in-between these two explanations. Not that anyone really noticed this foul-up but I guess it's good that somebody is paying attention.

Once again, an issue of “Sonic X” has left me feeling more-or-less nothing at all. It's a fairly inoffensive read but I guess I demand a little more from my comic books about blue hedgehogs that run fast. Edkins wrote some really fun stories in the past but when he pitches to the kiddy crowd, the quality suffers. Anyway, that's another issue of “Sonic X” reviewed. 33 down, seven to go. [5/10]