Sonic the Hedgehog: Bad Guys: Issue 3

Sonic the Hedgehog: Bad Guys: Issue 3

Publication Date: November 25th, 2020

I've written, several times over the years, about how comic books are notorious for having misleading covers. When children have been the primary target for your product for upwards of fifty years, that only seems natural. When a kid sees a cover about how Superman has turned into a gorilla or the Flash is a puppet now, their eyes light up with shock and awe that results in them immediately buying the comic in question. Kids are also more likely not to feel ripped off when nothing of that sort actually happens in the comic. Archie's "Sonic" series was certainly not above tactics like that. Remember when Sonic cradled Sally's dead body in his arms or our heroes were consumed by a white void full of monster arms? While I've done little but bitch about IDW's "Sonic" books, I'll give the company this much: They've done few misleading covers. Yes, the shocking event depicted on the cover of issue 3 of "Bad Guys" does happen. 

Volume three of "Bad Guys," which the Sonic News Network wiki informs me is subtitled "Trust Issues," begins with Starline doing another monologue... Except it's not Starline but Mimic impersonating him. Yes, Zavok and the octopus are well aware of the doctor's in-coming betrayal. The next day, the team raid the hub of Eggman's computer network. The new power cores Starline has outfitted his team with makes the job easier than ever. Just as the platypus thinks victory is within his grasp, Zavok and Mimic turn on him. 

From the beginning, "Bad Guys" has been interesting because of the different schemers plotting against each other within the team. Trying to figure out how aware of each other's plots Starline and Zavok were has been a lot of fun. Issue three is when Flynn cashes that check. It turns out Zavok has always been aware of Starline's plot and Mimic had his suspicion all along as well. This is a little disappointing, as I was hoping Flynn could milk that tension a little longer, but it does lead to another intriguing event. Now Starline has been (seemingly) outsmarted and outmatched, making us wonder if he can wiggle his way out of this predicament. Which is also pretty exciting and a good cliffhanger to leave things on, so Flynn continues to have my begrudging respect for this month.

It's a good thing this issue has such a strong dramatic hook to it. Otherwise, part three of "Bad Guys" is pretty simple. It's largely devoted to Starline's team crushing Eggman's defenses with ease. Supercharged by the Power Cores, they tear through the Eggnet Hub's protection without breaking a sweat. But, in its own way, these action scenes are kind of fun. We haven't seen what the Power Cores can do exactly, so there's novelty in watching a super-fast Rough or a more pumped-up Zavok tear some robots apart. Some times, you just want to see a team of goons working together and fucking some shit up, ya know? You get a certain rush from watching ownage like that getting laid down. 

Perhaps these admittedly tension-free action scenes are fun because we are kind of invested in these guys at this point. Somehow, Flynn has managed to get me to care about Zavok and Rough and Tumble. The zeti's calculating nature and shrewd powers of observation have taken him from a C-list "Sonic" villain in my mind to someone who is actually a compelling antagonist. Rough and Tumble - who I had pretty much no feelings towards, one way or the other - are also growing on me. In the truck on the way to the Eggnet Hub, the two compose a new poem to introduce their entire team. See, these two are the opposite of Zavok and Mimic, in the sense that they are totally clueless about the incoming betrayal. They are basically just big, dumb, hyper-destructive kids and that's endearing. Flynn should play up that contrast between their ultra violent and childish world views more often. 

If there's been any flaw at all with "Bad Guys," it's been Flynn's insistence on keeping Eggman to the margins. Considering that's the big bad these lesser bads are fighting against, you'd think he would have more of a presence. In this issue, his alarms alert him that the Eggnet Hub is being raided. Starline quickly hijacks the signal and says another location is being attacked. Eggman hedges his bets by sending forces to both locations. Honestly, the fact that Eggman has been even a little fooled by Starline's obvious manipulation undermines his supposed great genius. Considering how goofy he was in the "Recovery" arc, maybe Eggman is still licking his wounds after the whole Zombot fiasco. Or maybe Ian Flynn is just an inconsistent writer. You decide!

What is not inconsistent is the quality of the artwork. Jack Lawrence draws the opening and closing few pages of this book, providing his typically excellent pencils. The middle section of the book is drawn by Aaron Hammerstrom, who provided the atmospheric "Reflections" in this year's annual. You can immediately tell when Hammerstrom has taken over, as his style is far looser and more cartoony than Lawrence's. This is okay, as Hammerstrom's art provides the right kind of chaotic energy for this action scenes. I don't know if the "Battletoads"-like decision to have the guys grow giant hands and feet while kicking ass was just Hammerstrom exaggerating or an effect of the Power Cores. Either way, I like it!

While not being quite as strong as the previous two issues, the third issue of "Bad Guys" continues to be compelling. This mini-series is working because Flynn is actually balancing action and character development, something he should've tried during the tail-end of the Metal Virus Saga. Maybe that's because he's awarded more freedom when working with less well-known characters. I don't know the reason but I do know I'm enjoying this one and am actually looking forward to the exciting conclusion next month. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 34

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 34

Publication Date: November 11th, 2020

As I type this, I am now officially caught up with IDW’s “Sonic” comic. Four more issues — two more of the main book and the second half of “Bad Guys” — are scheduled to come out before the year is over. You, the reader, probably wouldn’t have noticed this at all if I hadn’t mentioned it, as the reviews will keep coming out at a regular pace. But the fact that I’m up-to-date on the series is the sign to me that Hedgehogs Can’t Swim is, at the very least, back for now. Until I wander horribly off-schedule again. Which will probably happen next month. 

Anyway, part two of “Chao Races And Badnik Chases” has Rouge, Amy, and Cream preparing for another Chao race. After Cheese wins again, Rouge looks to go through with her shady deal with Clutch... But Amy, Cream, and Gemerl insists on tagging along. This tips the gangster off that something funny is up. Before things turn too sour, Shadow leaps into action to save everyone’s asses. Meanwhile, Tails continues his attempt to hack into Eggman’s network, while Sonic stands by bored. This is when a marionette style robot named Belle makes an appearance. Sonic initially thinks she’s a threat but she seems innocent. This distraction alerts the base to Tails’ hacking, deploying the automated defenses.

Evan Stanley gets a lot of mileage out of pairing three of the franchise’s most prominent female characters together. The opening sequence, where the three talk around the breakfast table, features some really cute dialogue. Rouge and Amy represents two very different types of womanhood for Cream to aspire too. Amy likes to follow the rules, is focused on planning, dresses in traditionally feminine but conservative clothes, and has been in love with the same guy for twenty-seven years. Rouge is ambivalent to the law, is distracted by shiny things, dresses sexy, and is promiscuous. (Cream mentions how Rouge never came back to the hotel room last night, a probably innocent line dripping with connotations. Especially considering what a good mood Rouge seems to be in when she does appear.) These differences are noted in a very cute dialogue about Rouge robbing the hotel guests. It’s a bummer Sega characters are static, as I’d like to see how Cream would grow up with all these different role models influencing her.

Having said all that, perhaps Route should have focused a little more on planning. What exactly was her strategy with Clutch? She’d give him Cheese and then... Immediately take him back after getting the robot parts? That doesn’t seem like a very sound con job. We’ll never know how the original plan might’ve played out cause Stanley cheats a little. She has Shadow — who is still lurking around the hotel, looking for some sort of lead on Eggman — leap in and save the day. It’s a good thing he was there, huh? The comic was threatening to get interesting there, with its heroines forced to fight their way out of a tight situation. The truth is, I find it unlikely that someone as wily as Rouge would ever allow Amy, Cream, and Gemerl along for such an obviously dangerous mission. 

Presumably this is not the last we’ll see of Clutch, considering there’s two more issues in this arc and Stanley clearly put some time and energy into his design. We learn more about what kind of villain this possum is. He keeps his Chao in a cage and seems to mistreat them. He’s basically no different than thugs that run dog fighting rings. The impact of this reveal is a little softened, because the only one of Clutch’s Chao we know is the Shadow-style one that’s been bullying Cheese. If Stanley wanted us to understand more that he’s just an asshole because of his cruel master, she probably should have shown a little more of Clutch’s abuse. But I guess that would’ve stepped outside the boundaries of a children’s comic.

This issue is pretty evenly divided between the adventure at the casino and Sonic and Tails hanging out in the dank, abandoned Eggman base. Sonic’s visible boredom, which he alleviates by boxing a Knuckles doll, is mildly amusing. Mostly, this section is devoted to introducing Belle. The character was revealed on Twitter to much hype, as “Sonic” fans tend to immediately embrace new characters if they have a cool design. I was hoping Belle might be a villain, as I was getting some creepy puppet vibes from her brief appearances last issue. (Also, the comic severely needs a female villain that isn’t Zeena.) Instead, Belle is an innocent marionette carved by Mr. Tinker, with only defensive combat abilities. She wants to be reunited with her kindly inventor, a motivation that could turn tragic depending on how Stanley plays it. I was a slightly disappointed by this, because my idea was cooler and the comic already has one innocent little girl character, but we’ll see where things go. 

If nothing else, Belle does have a pretty neat design. A puppet-style robot is something we haven’t seen in the “Sonic” franchise before. The action scene, where Belle dodges around the jumpy Sonic, is fluidly done. Stanley makes good use of shadows and silhouette in several scenes, such as when Shadow is lurking about or when Amy questions Rouge’s motivation. Her propensity towards cute characters is a bit distracting though. When a horde of self-destructing Badniks is unleashed near the end, the threat factor is undermined a bit by them all being adorable ladybugs. Still, it’s a very good looking comic book.

Ultimately, the really cute interaction between the characters is why I’m going to give this one a positive score. I really love that opening banter — Cream is eating a perfectly square waffle, you guys — and impatient Sonic complaining. I’m not totally satisfied with how the main plot is unfolding and it remains to be seen whether Belle will develop into an interesting character. Over all, this arc has been fairly relaxed and entertaining. After the year everyone — including these fictional cartoon animals — has had, I’ll take it. I’m hoping Stanley really brings this one home in the next two parts. [6.5/10]

Weird Sonic Stuff I Want for Christmas

As a franchise that has existed for over twenty years, “Sonic the Hedgehog” has produced a lot of  tie-in products. Considering Sonic was from the beginning, and continues to be, kind of a weird series, it's not surprising that some of these tie-in products are a little funky. A bit strange, ya know what I mean? My personal “Sonic” collection is pretty modest, as far as these things go. Aside from my nearly complete Archie Sonic collection, I have a handful of figures, some old plushes, and all my original Genesis games. But that's it. Nothing too special. 

If money and space were no object, I would absolutely own a bunch of weird “Sonic” shit. In the spirit of the Christmas season, to celebrate this most capitalistic of American traditions, I've decided to list eight strange bits of “Sonic” merchandise that I sure would like Santa Claus to bring me this year. 

8. Japanese Sonic Curry!

This is the most “basic bitch” of my picks tonight. Back in 2018, this officially licensed Japanese curry product went viral. Yes, it was basically an easily prepared meal of rice and bright blue curry, that the diner was encouraged to shape into the general outline of Sonic's head. While many found the bright blue color of the curry disturbing, those who actually ate the product described it as relatively tasty... Though with the unsightly side effect of staining your bowl movements bright blue. But that's a small price to pay for getting a chance to say you ate, digested, and shitted Sonic the Hedgehog. 

The Sonic curry doesn't seem to be readily available anymore but, if you do stumble across a package, it's probably safer to eat than a can of Franco-American Sonic pasta would be. 

7. Sonic Dance Power CDs!

In Europe, Sonic seems have experienced a similar life cycle to what he had here in America. That is to say: While the series has survived thanks to die-hard fans, the franchise has never reached the heights of its early-to-mid-nineties popularity. At the same time Sonic was arguably the most popular and beloved video game character, another pop culture trend was blazing its way through Europe: Electronic dance music! 

In 1995, some genius in the Netherlands had the idea to mash up these two fads. The result was the “Sonic Dance Power” series of CDs. The “Sonic” connection usually extended no further than the front of the CD cases. Sonic and friends would grace the covers, sometimes depicted as stock art and sometimes brought to life by slightly off-model original illustration. Musically, the songs had nothing to do with Sonic and were a random collection of then popular dance numbers. 

If you look at the songs, only a few names jump out as recognizable. Genuine star acts – Bobby Brown, Aaliyah, Coolio, the Backstreet Boys, Blackstreet, the Prodigy – stand alongside Eurodance one-hit-wonders – Corona, Rednex, Haddaway, Captain Jack, Scatman John, the Outhere Brothers – and a bunch of other acts I've never heard of. Scanning the track list, I even see techno remixes of familiar songs like “Colors of the Wind,” “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” “The X-Files” theme song and even “Hava Nagila!” 

As fascinating a collision of nineties pop culture debris as this is, an interest in Eurodance is not the main reason I'd like to own the Sonic Dance Power CDs. It's because some of these songs are notoriously vulgar. “Lick It" by 20 Fingers is an ode to oral sex. “I Wanna Be a Hippy” by Technohead expounds on the joys of marijuana use. “Useless Man” by Minty features a string of naughty words. Several tracks from a group calling themselves Tokyo Ghetto Pussy were featured. That is simply hilarious. And, considering volume eight was packaged with a demo for 'Sonic & Knuckles Collection,” we can assume this was all officially licensed by Sega. Boy, they were really asleep at the wheel at the time!

6. French Sonic figurines!

There have been a lot of “Sonic” figurines produced over the years. Usually, the line-up doesn't extend too far beyond Sonic and his most famous video game pals. If you find a toy of Big the Cat or some of the classic Badniks, that's a rare discovery. In 1997, the French company Feve produced a series of “Sonic” figures made of fine china. While Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and the “AoStH” version of Robotnik were present in this line, there were a few deeper cuts too. Such as a Flicky – which is brown, despite being named as a bluebird – a Burrobot, and obscure animal friend Ricky the Squirrel... Who is identified as Sally Acorn. While the paint applications are pretty spotty, I'd still love to own these rare items. They pop on eBay occasionally, at high prices. 

5. Sonic Bubble Bath Bottles!

You might be noticing a reoccurring theme with my wish list here... Around 1995, USA cosmetic company Avon released a trio of “Sonic” themed shampoo/conditioners for kids. Each bottle was topped with a soft plastic “finger puppet” toy. This included Sonic, Knuckles, and Sally. As any longtime Archie Sonic/SatAM fan knows, merchandise of Sally is extremely rare. I'm not sure how Avon went about selecting her, but I'm guessing they hoped to appeal to girls as much as boys with this product line. And Sally was more prominent in the franchise at the time than Amy Rose was. The finger puppet of Sally has slightly dead eyes and a weird mouth but still looks pretty good. 

People online are all too aware of the mixture of rarity and fan devotion around these characters, which is why a bottle of the Sally shampoo is currently selling on eBay for 750 dollars. Will some rich furry drop a hard-earned chunk of cash on a bit of rubber? Probably. (The Knuckles and Sonic ones are pretty cool looking too.)

4. Sonic the Fighter Plushes!

Like I said, if you're a “Sonic” collector who is devoted to just collecting likenesses of the blue hedgehog, Tails, or Knuckles, you could easily fill an entire room with the various toys and stuffed animals based on them. (And some people have done just that.) But, if you're like me and are equally interested in the more obscure cast members, you'll have a lot more trouble finding much merchandise for them... With a few exceptions. When “Sonic the Fighter” was released in Japan in 1997, plush toys of each of the game's characters were released. They were available exclusively through “UFO Catchers,” which were basically fancy claw machines. 

So, yes, plushies of Bark the Bear, Bean the Duck, Nack the Weasel, and Espio the Chameleon were produced. Which is pretty cool. They look adorable and I'd love to have one. I've never seen one go up for sale but I imagine they would sell for a lot. 

3. Restaurant displays!

It may not surprise you to read that it's just not obscure movies and blue hedgehogs that I'm obsessed with. Yes, I do have a soft spot for restaurant advertising ephemera. Especially with anything related to my nostalgia for childhood Happy Meals and similar things. I was obsessed with Happy Meal toys as a kid, collecting them with a hunger far more ravenous than I had for any cheeseburgers. Whenever visiting the lobby of the fast food palace, I always ran up to the Happy Meal toy display. These often placed the toys and figures in elaborate play sets, often resembling whatever show or movie the characters originated in.

For the “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” tie-in – obviously among my favorite of any Happy Meal prizes – McDonalds put together a beautiful display based on the first level of “Sonic 3.” There's a cliff, a beach, some vines, and a palm tree that even includes a hiding Monkey Boy Badnik. I can't tell you how much I would've loved to have owned a display like this as a kid, that I could've marched my Sonic toys around. My own personal Castle Greyskull for tiny Sega shenanigans. 

Also, when Denny's was selling a pair of plushes based on the “Underground” versions of Sonic and Knuckles, they also had a pretty neat lobby display. Not as cool as the McDonald's one, owing to it being a lot less toyetic, but still kind of neat. These items also occasionally get listed on eBay, with absurd price tags attached. 

2. Sonic Obama Backpack!

Being a widely recognized pop culture icon, lots of bootleg and knock-off Sonic merchandise has surfaced over the years. Some time late last decade, a mysterious image appeared online. It displayed a backpack printed with a picture of a badly mis-colored classic Sonic. A number 10 was on his belly. Above his head were the words “Harry Potter.” To his left, in big letters, was “OBAMA.” This image was so baffling that it couldn't help but immediately become a meme. Why would a bootlegger randomly mash up these three ingredients? If they were just attempting to throw together three popular things, why include Sonic, who was far past his peak popularity by the time Barack Hussein got elected? If you were going to pick Sonic, why go with the classic design for similar reasons? 

Nobody knows where the Obama-Harry-Potter-Sonic image originated from. Nobody has ever been able to procure an actual specimen of this notorious item, though replications can be easily found. The mystery of why the Sonic Obama backpack was made, or where it came from, is only further elevated by the question of if it even existing in the first place. Obviously, if someone was able to get their hands on an original one of these backpacks, it would be the proud centerpiece of any “Sonic” collection.

1. The Sega World Sydney Relics!

One of these days I'm going to have to talk in more detail about Sega World Sydney, a doomed in-door amusement park Sega owned and operated in Australia's most opera-house-adjacent city. Or, at least, I would talk about it if the theme park's Quixotic existence hadn't been well documented in several other places around the internet. For a hyper-nerdy breed of “Sonic” fan, Sega World Sydney is especially a point of fascination. Alongside the usual suspects, Princess Sally was one of the mascot characters of the park. If you're reading this, you probably already know that this twist of fate is what saved the character during Archie Comic's “Endgame” story arc from Ken Penders' cruel whims.

Sally's prominent placement in this destined-to-failed enterprise came with it a great deal of merchandise. For Archie Sonic fanatics, these items have become much desired Holy Grails. An incredibly ugly plush was produced of our favorite princess, with a hand puppet seemingly being made based off the same design. A collectible water bottle allowed hardcore fans the opportunity to drink liquids right out of Princess Sally's head. A bendy action figure is probably the coolest of these Sally relics. Her likeness also graced entrance cards, cardboard cups, and T-shirts. As you've probably guessed, this stuff has become highly sought after collector's items and goes for astronomical prices on eBay. 

Sega was so sure that Princess Sally could be the Minnie Mouse of their private Disney Land, they even produced a life-sized costume for park employees to roam around in. Which was also utilized in a live musical based on “Sonic” that was performed in the park, something I'm definitely going to write about for this blog some day. Most prominently of all was the  life-sized statues of Sonic and Sally that greeted every customer who visited the park. Three years ago, a fan discovered the remains of the statues – or one of the statues anyway – moldering in an Australian junk yard. There have been few updates since then. 

Anyway, those are eight “Sonic” related pieces of junks I'd like to own but probably never will. Thanks for reading! Moreover, thanks for sticking with Hedgehogs Can't Swim through this tumultuous year and the blog's recent lack of updates! I've currently got updates banked up through March, so I'm guaranteed to keep posting until at least then. In the meanwhile, Merry Christmas and happy holidays. If you are reading this, I'm glad you survived 2020. Let's keep going into the scary future together. 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Bad Guys: Issue 2

Sonic the Hedgehog: Bad Guys: Issue 2

Publication Date: November 4th, 2020

One of the reasons why I might have seemed a little overly disappointed in the first issue of “Bad Guys” is because this kind of thing is entirely within my wheelhouse. I’m a big fan of “men on a mission” flicks like “The Dirty Dozen” or “The Wild Bunch.” I watched way too many episodes of “The A-Team” as a kid. I even gave “Suicide Squad” far more credit than it deserved. You get a band of rogues together and send them on some wacky mission and I’m immediately sold. “Bad Guys” is pretty much the “Sonic” version of that. Flynn is clearly drawing from his own work here, as “Bad Guys” has a similar premise to “Eggman’s Dozen,” one of the better arcs of the post-reboot Archie era. I’m hopeful that, now the set-up is out of the way, this thing can get moving. 

His team assembled, the second part of “Bad Guys” sees Starline and his motley crew going on their first proper mission together. Starline wants to break into a storage facility full of Eggman’s power cores: little balls of concentrated energy that boost certain strengths. (Starline isn’t telling his duplicitous teammates the entire truth either.) Naturally, the place is heavily guarded. As the gang breaks in, they do everything they can to make it look like Sonic is responsible. But will Eggman see through this deception? And will Starline see his scheme through to success without his feelings for his former boss getting in the way?

The best thing about issue 2 of “Bad Guys” is it adds a little more depth to Starline and Zavok’s personalities. Starline’s interior monologue reveals that he has no trust in his teammates and, in fact, intends on disposing of them once he achieves his goal. So the platypus isn’t just willing to deceive people, he’s planning on killing them too. Starline graduating from nerdy wannabe to full-blown supervillain would certainly make him a more intimidating figure. Zavok, meanwhile, seems to be a little more honorable than I expected. He believes that robots can never be as creative or willful as living things. Which suggests he’s not a total authoritarian, who wants to enslave everyone, but rather some sort of Nietzschian, who sees himself and his Zeti pals as inherently superior to the rest of the world. This helps distinguish Zavok a bit in the “Sonic” rogue gallery. 

The interaction between these two is probably the highlight of the book. During a quieter moment in-between smashing robots, Zavok and Starline have a little talk. The doctor ends up revealing a little too much of his true motivation, suggesting he’s personally hurt by Eggman’s rejection. When Zavok responds by saying “He’ll never take you back,” Flynn comes awfully close to framing this as a romantic rejection. Which is made even funnier when Zavok immediately tells Starline he “doesn’t need” Eggman. The pep talk/seduction that follows actually gets to Starline a little. But we, the reader, know that Zavok is also planning on betraying the doctor. You’re left wondering how sincere this conversation was. The question of who is scheming who looks to be what will keep me interested in this mini-series. 

In general, the interplay between the team members energizes what would otherwise be a routine action issue. Mimic is probably the most selfish of the squad, only in this to get his name out of Eggman’s database. (A fitting motivation for a shapeshifter.) His barely-begrudging tolerance of his teammates, especially of Rough and Tumble’s idiotic catchphrases, made me chuckle. While the skunks remain the most simplistic members of this quartet, a moment where they leap into action to protect their new “boss” is surprising. These two are simple-minded lunkheads who need to take orders, so it makes sense that they would immediately latch onto a new leader. It also suggests that this team is already closer than expected. 

As much as I rag on Flynn’s overreliance on action scenes, they are fun here. Mimic shape shifting into an Egg Pawn just to snipe another one in the back shows how dangerous and elastic his abilities are. The proper climax of the issue has Rough and Tumble taking down a robotic T-Rex. The fight is over way too quickly but I can’t dislike any comic book that includes a robot dinosaur. In general, Flynn seems to be using these action scenes not just to fill pages. It’s allowing him to continue to show off the cast’s unique abilities. Mimic’s shapeshifting, Rough and Tumble’s team work, and Zavok’s technopathy all come in handy during this raid. 

As much as I enjoyed this issue, Flynn is still choking on his own set-up a little. Three and a half pages are devoted to Starline explaining the mission objective to the team, something that a single panel probably could’ve accomplished. It’s not like Flynn needed to tell us what a Power Core is. We probably could’ve figured that out on our own. There’s minimal character development in this scene too, making it really unnecessary. Flynn could’ve cut the exposition heavy intro, jumped right into the raid, and spent a little more time on the awesome dinosaur fight. 

Still, this is a big improvement over the first installment of “Bad Guys” and one of the better balanced issues Flynn has written this year. I’m actually getting invested in these guys and am curious where their relationships will go next. Moreover, the action isn’t being used as a means to its own ends but rather as a way to build on the characters. The way it’s supposed to be! Let’s see if Ian can stick the landing in the next two issues of this thing. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 33

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 33

Publication Date: October 14th, 2020

Ian Flynn has been the primary writer of the “Sonic” comics since 2006, trading off with only a few other writers in all that time. (And that’s in addition to writing all of Archie’s “Mega Man” series and a couple other books here and there too.) Certainly Flynn has been great for “Sonic” and has written a number of stories over the years that I’m very fond of. Having said that, I’ve certainly had plenty of criticism for Flynn too. Especially lately. So I’m pretty pleased to see him hand over head writing duties to someone else for a while. While Flynn works on the “Bad Guys” mini-series, artist-turned-writer Evan Stanley will be handling the main book. I wasn’t a fan of Stanley’s “Silver Age” “Sonic Universe” arc but the story she wrote for last year’s annual is still probably my favorite “Sonic” thing IDW has published. So I approach her arc on the main book with a mixture of excitement and caution. 

“Chao Races and Badnik Chases” focuses in on Tails attempting to repair Omega, who is still just a head at this moment. He needs both a decoder for Eggman’s software and parts to put the murder-bot back together again. Rouge and Amy head off to a casino/amusement park called White Park, where a black market robot parts trader called Clutch is known to work. Their cover is entering Cream’s Chao, Cheese, in the casino’s Chao races. Gemerl comes along to protect Cream and Shadow seems to be chasing someone else at the park. Meanwhile, Sonic and Tails investigate an abandoned Eggman lab to uncover the computer code cipher. But they appear to be not-exactly alone there...

I’ve been accused of being overly negative here of late, so I’ll get my grievances about the first part of “Chao Races and Badnik Chases” — an issue I otherwise enjoyed! — out of the way first. Stanley showed off some awkward handling of narrative in “The Silver Age.” She’s gotten a lot better but there’s still some bumps early in the road here. The first act of this comic is pretty boring. Far more pages than necessary are devoted to setting up the story, all the characters being sorted into various teams before setting off on their own goals. The dialogue is laden with exposition, as every detail of the various plans are laid out. I was ready to check out on this one early. 

I was also skeptical of this issue because I knew so much of it was going to revolve around fuckin’ Chao. My indifference-bordering-on-hostility towards these stupid little baby things is well known. Until a recent exhaustive video on the topic, I didn’t even know anything about the Chao racing mini-game in the “Sonic Adventure” titles. I never played them and am baffled that Sonic Team spent so much time and energy on a dumb ass mini game instead, I don’t know, making sure the primary camera system in the main game actually functioned correctly. I’m still utterly baffled by the devotion and fascination people have with the Chao gardens and all their related content.

But that’s neither here nor there. The Chao race subplot here is, admittedly, dumb and probably a waste of time. The scenes devoted to Cheese’s apparent rivalry with a mean, Shadow inspired Chao — the personal pet of Clutch, we soon learn — are ridiculous. I was reminded a little too much of Maggie and Baby Gerald in the panels devoted to the two blobs glaring angrily at each other. Having said that the race scenes are kind of fun. Stanley’s pencils are energetic and emotive. Despite myself, I did end up rooting for Cheese as he works to make it across the finish line. He might be a stupid, simperingly cute little squish toy but he doesn’t give up easily and I respect that.

Generally speaking, this is a fun comic book. After the exposition-heavy first third, the dialogue and character interactions are cute and relatable. It’s amusing to see Amy take a breather from the chaos of the last year. Omega’s snide remarks provide chuckles. The suspicion Gemerl regards Rouge with is also amusing. The scene devoted to Rouge meeting Clutch are well-done. Probably inspired by the similar Renfield T. Rodent, the garish but sleazy possum provides a decent foil for Rouge. Both are duplicitous but Rouge is a little more honorable than this guy appears to be. Both are obviously trying to trick each other and it’s fun watching them dance around their true motives. 

We still don’t yet know what exactly Shadow has to do in this storyline. He’s snooping around the hotel and ends up fighting some glowing weirdo in a parka. I have no idea who this mysterious hooded figure may be, though Rouge seemed to recognize him earlier. Maybe it’s Infinite? I don’t know but the presentation is mysterious enough to draw me in. Moreover, the scuffle with Shadow is well done. It’s, notably, this issue’s only real action scene, providing a much needed relief from Flynn’s exhausting focus on fight scenes here of late. As for Shadow’s characterization, Stanley successfully hints that his douchebag exterior covers up a kinder spirit. 

This issue was originally suppose to come out in September but, in account of the delays, was released in the middle of October. So IDW didn’t plan it this way but the issue ends up being a kind of a Halloween special. Sonic and Tails explore a spooky abandoned lab. They have amusingly bro-y banter about ghosts and vampires. Some spooky Sonic and Tails Dolls appear and a shadowy figure is lurking in the background. Obviously, I love this and sort of wish the whole issue could’ve been devoted to this storyline. Wouldn’t it have been fun to have a little short horror story starring Sonic and Tails in October? But Stanley seemingly has bigger plans for this story, so we’ll see where she takes it.

My only other problem with “Chao Races and Badnik Chases, Part One” isn’t really Stanley’s fault. There’s almost no mention of the Metal Virus or Zombots here. Ya know, that massive crisis the comic spent the last year and a half on? It annoys me a little that the series spent so much time on that arc and now not only wants to move on but seems to want to forget it ever happened. I guess the “Recovery” two-parter — which wasn’t actually about the world recovering at all — is the only look we’re going to get at the aftermath. I get if Flynn and company want to stop talking about viruses and pandemics for a while. But you’d expect something like the Zombot plague to have a long term affect on the comic’s world. That the book is brushing the entire thing aside definitely feels like a cheat. (And also makes the last year and half feel like a huge waste of time.)

But like I said, that’s not Evan Stanley’s fault. Part one of “Chao Races and Badnik Chases” is mostly an amusing little issue. Once the laborious setup is out of the way, it’s fun watching these characters embark on wacky adventures of different stripes. Considering her history with narrative hiccups, I am wondering if Stanley will be able to balance all these different story lines in a satisfying way but I suppose that remains to be seen. For now, I’m going to give this one a positive score. See? I don’t hate everything all of the time! [7/10]

(Also of note, this issue contains a cameo from the O.C. of longtime “Sonic” comic reviewer, Bobby from “Thanks, Ken Penders.” It’s a nice shout-out to the fan community and I’m happy for her. Having said that, I am also insanely jealous. If you’re going to reference fan blogs, Stanley, where’s my shout-out, huh? Everybody reading this, please go harass Evan on Twitter until I am officially made a part of “Sonic” canon. Thank you and good night. (P.S.S.: please don’t actually do that. Not harassing anyway but maybe just gingerly pleading? That won’t hurt anybody’s feelings. Thank you and good night again.)

Sonic the Hedgehog: Bad Guys: Issue 1

Sonic the Hedgehog: Bad Guys: Issue 1

Publication Date: October 7th, 2020

And so, in its third year, IDW continues the long tradition of “Sonic” comic mini-series spin-offs. Yet there’s a notable difference in the approach IDW is taking with this, as opposed to Archie’s methods. Archie was desperate for an on-going “Sonic” spin-off and released mini-series as “pilots.” They focused on Sonic’s most popular supporting characters, like Tails, Sally, and Knuckles. IDW, meanwhile, is presumably limited in how they use the Sega-created supporting cast. The most obvious candidate for a stand-alone story — Shadow and Team Dark — would probably be seriously handcuffed by Sega’s narrative demands or some sort of other red tape. Instead, IDW has focused on the comic exclusive cast. “Tangle & Whisper” was an immediate fan favorite and now Ian Flynn is hoping to replicate that success with “Bad Guys,” a mini-series starring Dr. Starline and other recent additions to Sonic’s rogues gallery. 

Starline is now operating outside of the Eggman Empire. He still hopes to influence his idol in world conquering but an attempt to infiltrate an Eggman base almost results in him being crushed by robots. Starline realizes if he’s going to succeed in his plans, he’s going to need help. Bullshitting his way into Everhold Prison, he contacts four prisoners: Zavok, Mimic, and Rough and Tumble. Each take some convincing — and Zavok and Starline are both plotting to double-cross each other — but eventually the doctor assembles his team. They fight their way out of the prison and begin on their villainous path.

The first issue of “Bad Guys” is another one of those Ian Flynn part ones devoted largely to setting shit up. Starline’s interior monologue runs all throughout the opening action sequence, further establishing his motivations. After that, we are treated to two whole pages devoted to Starline dictating a captain’s log, describing his current predicament in detail. Even once we get to the prison, “Bad Guys” continues in this mold. Much attention is paid to establishing why each of these crooks will work with Starline, each wanting revenge on Eggman. Even the subsequent prison break is a way to show off everyone’s unique abilities. 

Another issue facing “Bad Guys” — especially when compared to “Tangle & Whisper” — is that I still don’t know if I actually like Starline. I immediately liked Tangle and Whisper grew on me after a while. Starline I’ve been reluctant to embrace. Flynn has sort of played up the juicy, Snively-like rivalry between Starline and Eggman... But it’s held back by the platypus remaining a die-hard Eggman fanboy. He’s uncomfortably situated between obsessive stalker and scheming lackey. I get Flynn not just wanting to create a stand-in for Snively but, if Starline is deluding himself into thinking Eggman still wants his help (and he must be), the writing should reflect that more. He’s also got this faux-elegant, loquacious tone to him that I don’t find particularly charming. Flynn gives him more superpowers this issue, like electro spurs on his boots or a potentially plot-breaking hypnotism device, but that doesn’t make Starline much more interesting. It remains to be seen if I’ll come around to him. 

The truth is the verdict is still out on most of these guys. Mimic is cool but he’s not given much to do her besides shapeshift and flout his self-interested personality. I haven’t made up my mind about Rough and Tumble yet either. As big dumb brawlers, they serve their purpose. Action comics like this do need guys like that. As goofy comic relief, they don’t do much for me. (Though Tumble’s continued insecurity about his lack of a tail does still amuse me.) Weirdly, it’s Zavok that comes off the best here. Flynn has redeemed the Zetis a little in the last year and Zavok’s ruthlessness, the utter brutality he displays in his quest to further his goals, does make him a compelling villain. 

In fact, probably the best thing about issue 1 of “Bad Guys” is watching Starline and Zavok scheme around each other. Starline appeals to Zavok’s ego, assigning him leader of this squad, in order to convince him to go along with his plan. This is, of course, a lie and Starline plans to betray the Zeti the minute he steps out of line. Zavok, meanwhile, is well aware of this impending deception. He is waiting for the right moment to betray Starline too. We’ve got two separate secrets working against each other here. See, now that’s dramatic! Who will strike first? Which of these underhanded plots will succeed? Now I’m drawn into this thing and Flynn better not fucking squander it. 

The second half of the comic is largely devoted to the jail break which is, admittedly, an entertaining action sequence. Each of these guys have their own special abilities and a prison full of hapless guards provides plenty of cannon fodder for them to practice on. Zavok turns Wispons against their masters. Mimic disguises himself as the warden to trick people. Rough and Tumble bash a lot of heads. Starline utilizes his various gadgets. It’s more than just your typical punching and smashing. And that’s fun. Even if the inevitable prison riot scene is totally expected, that’s a plot device I almost always enjoy. 

Jack Lawrence, one of my favorite art debuts of the year, will be penciling the entire mini-series. He does good work here. His action scenes are incredibly dynamic. The panels devoted to Starline using his various gadgets, like those tricked out spurs, are pretty cool. He manages to make every panel as expressive as possible, telling us a lot about the characters even as they just talk in their jail cells. Like how Rough and Tumble are playing tic-tac-toe on the floor of their cell. Or just how freaked out the guards are when the bad guys surprised them in the watch tower. It’s a testament to Lawrence’s skills that he makes visuals cliches — like Zavok slamming heads together or the gang walking away from an explosion without looking at it — look neat. 

So, we’ll see how this one plays out. Issue one of “Bad Guys” suffers from a lot of the first issue lag I’m accustomed to with Flynn. Yet it sets up some potentially promising leads too. Where it goes, and if it ends up being more interesting than tedious, is something I guess I’ll discover soon enough. This one has enough stuff I like to give it a mild recommendation. [6/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 32

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 32

Publication Date: September 23rd, 2020

Something I really miss about Archie’s “Sonic” books was their ability to make the comic feel like a special event. Every one-shot was a “48 Page Special!” Segments in the issue would often have “End of Part One” at the first act stop, which made the story feel like an exciting cliffhanger, even if the next chapter was a few pages away. The mini-series were heavily promoted, sold as exciting adventures that warranted their own spin-off. It was mostly carny style hucksterism but it one hundred percent worked on me as a kid. The later Archie “Sonic” and IDW’s series haven’t really captured that feeling much... But one tactic Archie would often employ was connecting covers, comic books that made a cool picture when you put them side-by-side. IDW has occasionally revived that gimmick, as they did here with the “Recovery” story arc. It’s fun and I wish they would do it more.

Anyway, “Recovery, Part Two” jumps right into the action. Eggman has crashed the Restoration’s victory party in a giant death-mech. Omega is strapped to the front, seemingly powering the suit. Tails and the gang scrambled to organized a plan against the sudden invader, finding themselves caught off-guard and unprepared. The situation grows even more grave once Eggman jacks his machine into Gemerl. Meanwhile, in the Sol Dimension, Blaze begins a risky ritual in the hopes that it may jog the amnesiac Sonic’s memory. Will he make it back home in time? Well, of course he does. 

“Recovery, Part Two” is another issue primarily devoted to action but at least it's decent action. See, part of the appeal of SatAM and the early Archie comics was that the Freedom Fighters were underdogs. They had limited resources and individuals, fighting a guerrilla war against an enormous enemy. The comic lost sight of that in time and Ian Flynn, for all his strengths, has never been great about capturing that feeling. However, this issue brings a little bit of that emotion back. The good guys aren’t ready for Eggman’s attack at all, forcing them to completely think on their feet. Vector ends up taking the lead, as Amy and Jewel essentially run away. Tails has to improvise a method to hack into Eggman’s computer system. Everybody kind of gets their asses kicked but make a strong showing against the villain. It’s fun and reminds me why I liked these characters in the first place.

And, of course, it’s all ruined the minute Sonic shows back up. His memory restored, and Blaze somehow knowing exactly where to teleport him back to, Sonic rushes in and finishes Eggman off with ease. Is it possible Sonic is just too powerful? Is this a side effect of Sega’s dumb-ass mandate that Sonic can “never loose?” This is not the first time I’ve gotten the feeling that the blue hedgehog’s comic book might be better without him in it. Watching a bunch of under-prepared goof-balls do what they can against a far more powerful enemy is way more compelling than our super powerful hero blasting in and saving the day within minutes.

What’s more disappointing is that Flynn had an opportunity for an interesting story here. At the issue’s beginning, Sonic is still clueless about his identity. After Blaze zaps him with her plot-reversing magical crystals, Sonic is seemingly restored... Yet I wondered at first. His body language is still a little royal, with bows and hand waves. His dialogue is slightly more elegant than we are used to from the hedgehog. I thought perhaps Ian was suggesting that the decadent “Mr. Needlemouse” persona wasn’t entirely banished. 

There’s even a moment here that could’ve been cool. After defeating Eggman’s mech, the villain flies off and Sonic makes a comment to himself about how there will be a next time. And a next time after that and so on. What if, instead of letting Eggman float off, Sonic slammed into the EggMobile and brutally captured Eggman? This would signal to his friends and the readers that Sonic didn’t return from the brink of death unchanged. That something was up and maybe their savior and companion isn’t the person he’s always been. That would’ve raised the stakes, set up an exciting new story, and ended the issue on a hell of a cliffhanger.

Instead, everyone gives Sonic a big hug and he goes rushing off into the sunrise on the final page, seemingly completely returned to normal. So why did Flynn even bother giving Sonic amnesia for one single issue? Why have his personality shift just to immediately undo it? Why tease the possibility that the Restoration may have to carry on without him just to bring him back the next issue? It’s a seriously wasted opportunity. These two issue have felt like one of two things: a senselessly rattled-off time-waster until whatever the next thing will be or Flynn setting up a story he’s not being allowed to tell. Knowing how Draconian Sega is with how their corporate I.P. characters are used, I wouldn’t be shocked if the latter is true. 

In fact, there’s a couple of examples of backsliding character development in this issue, that makes me wonder if Sega isn’t making unreasonable demands again. Amy running off from the conflict is kind of weird. I get she’s exhausted and scared and all that. But she’s never had any problem facing down a giant robot with her hammer before. The minute the chaos starts, Jet and the Babylon Rogues immediately decide to rob the jewel museum, undoing whatever character development they had recently. Rouge has already beat them to ransacking the place because her lust for shiny things is seemingly all that defines her these days. Except she then immediately changes her mind and helps Tails. Not to mention Eggman becoming a quasi-comedic character here, right after he almost ended the world with a zombie virus. And then Sonic just let’s him get away, even though part of the last arc was about Sonic feeling regret over the last time he did that!

Naturally, no mention is made here of how the world is recovering from the Metal Virus, what this two parter was ostensibly suppose to be about. It all feels kind of off, like Flynn was on a tight deadline or perhaps exhausted himself. I think the only new idea Flynn really has her is Eggman’s latest doom machine. Drawing pre-existing robots into the machine’s power source is another cool idea that goes absolutely nowhere. All it really amounts to is Gemerl going down like a bitch, for the third time in a row. Some serious Worf Effect is happening with him, to the point where I’m wondering why the heroes insist on hanging around with this guy. 

It’s a sloppy, disappointing issue that is only saved by some fun action beats. This is an example of a story I probably would have enjoyed if it wasn’t overwhelmed by all the obvious ways it could have been better. Unless Flynn is ramping up for something actually interesting, “Recovery” has been a rather lame buffer between bigger arcs. The art is really nice, by the way. Adam Bryce Thomas can always be counted on to deliver awesome looking images. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 31

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 31

Publication Date: September 16th, 2020

As the real world remains in the grips of a deadly virus that isn’t going away any time soon, Ian Flynn and IDW’s “Sonic” comic must’ve found itself in a weird situation. Flynn will always deny all political subtext but he stumbled into a shockingly relevant blue cartoon hedgehog book here. When all we wanted was escapism, he had to run with a grim storyline he plotted out years ago. Now, the zombie apocalypse is finally behind the “Sonic” comic but it’s in the uncomfortable place of seeming insincere. We now know that the world will not move on easily from a shattering pandemic. How does a goofy kids book go about acknowledging that?

By mostly ignoring the problem, it seems. “Recovery, Part 1” focuses on the Restoration attempting to, uh, restore things back to normal. Amy is utterly overwhelmed, feeling like she’s not the person for this job. Jewel offers to help. The Chaotix are similarly swamped with missing person cases, with Cream and Vanilla stepping up to assist. Tails, Tangle, and the others turn to helping out however they can and celebrating... But Eggman has other plans. Meanwhile, in Blaze’s dimension, Sonic is totally unaware of who he is.

Yes, Flynn totally dodges the question of “how does the world come back after the apocalypse” by not focusing on the world at all. We do not see any ruined cities being rebuilt. We do not see former Zombots reuniting with their family. We certainly don’t see people grappling with the trauma of having been zombified. We don’t even know if they remember anything about the experience. The only nod towards the world being totally devastated is a panel of Amy standing in a ruined office — lol nobody thought to move Restoration HQ to a new building? — and the Chaotix subplot acknowledging that there’s a ton of missing people. Flynn doesn’t even bother to show Gemerl being repaired. He shows up here without a huge hole in his chest.

Instead, the focus is on the characters’ eagerness to return to normal. This desire is made very literal when Silver returns to his future and finds a shining, towering city. (Is Silver constantly aware of the shifting timeline? Can he not just pick a good future and live there?) Tails is utterly certain Sonic is alive and will return. Whisper’s biggest concern is that the Babylon Rogues were invited to the victory party. Everyone seems happy to help undo the devastation that is presumably just off-panel. I guess this is the difference between a cartoon virus that leaves its infectees alive and a real world virus that has killed almost two million people. But the narrow focus on just how our superhero protagonists are feeling makes it hard to swallow this recovery. 

But I’ve been bitching a lot lately about how the book can’t slow down and focus on the characters getting to feel things. Admittedly, “Recovery, Part 1” does feature some decent moments of that sort. Amy and, weirdly, Shadow are the only ones seemingly mourning Sonic. Amy misses when things were simpler and she was just a goofy fan girl chasing after her favorite teen idol. Yeah, I miss that world too, pink hedgehog. Shadow, meanwhile, has to acknowledge his sadness in the gruffest, broodest manner possible. Sonic proved him wrong — Shadow wasn’t strong enough to fight off the Zombots — and now he can’t even tell the guy how humbled he is. Sega is supposedly insisting Ian always write Shadow as a headstrong asshole, so I’m willing to consider any change in his attitude as positive character development.  

Ultimately, it’s up to Tangle and Whisper to really keep me reading. Tangle, being her empathetic self, honestly asks Tails how he’s doing in the face of Sonic’s apparent loss. Later, she has to tell Whisper to calm down after she spots the Rogues. It’s really adorable how much these two lesbians love each other, especially in the panel where Whisper’s tail starts wagging as Tangle puts an arm on her shoulder. There’s also a pretty cute moment of what I’m guessing is flirting between Vanilla and Vector, a ship that seemingly has some precedence but I had never even considered before. But I get it, because Vanilla is a single mom that has been alone for years and Vector is jacked. Cream’s mom, I give you permission to go ahead and get croc’d. (Jet’s character development apparently went right in the shitter though, as he’s back to being just as annoying now as he was to begin with.) 

I guess my main complaint with “Recovery, Part 1” is that it’s not as character focused as it seems to be. This is an issue focused more in figuring out where the characters will physically be, post-Metal Virus, than considering how they are feeling. Flynn makes sure to set up several future plot lines. Eggman immediately goes back to scheming, which does lead to some amusing comic relief with Omega. This seems to promise a big ol’ action scene next issue, which makes this old man sigh a little. Starline reappears, his faith in Eggman’s methods shaken but not his fan boy devotion to the doctor’s genius. Rough and Tumble are dug out of a hole and let loose. Presumably as set-up for the then-upcoming “Bad Guys” mini-series. Even when taking a breather, Flynn has to keep plotting. 

Most questionable is Sonic’s fate. The titular hedgehog only appears in the first few pages. Seemingly, he has no memory of his heroics on Mobius his home world. Instead, he’s adopted a foppish dandy persona known as Mr. Needlemouse, much to Blaze’s visible annoyance. You may recognize this as almost the exact same plot Eggman went through in the comic’s first year. Maybe Mr. Tinker being so well received is why Flynn is visiting a similar fate on Sonic. Is this going to follow up on Eggman’s theory that Sonic isn’t so different from him after all? Will Mr. Needlemouse be a villain or at least a huge prick? Or is Flynn just utterly out of ideas? I guess I’ll find out soon enough. 

Hey, at least it all looks nice.  Adam Bryce Thomas isn’t just excellent at action. This more conversation based issue shows his general mastery of the “Sonic” world.  He really conveys how overwhelmed Vector and Amy feel in these moments, the former’s facial expressions being especially well done. This emotional drawing creates some comic relief too, as Rough and Tumble and Tangle and Whisper both get some amusing reaction shots. Thomas is even good at suggesting what the otherwise stoic Shadow must be feeling in all this. Thomas is also the only artist currently working on this book that draws Rouge at the correct level of thiccness, an observation I definitely did not need to put into words. 

Man, the people who really enjoy IDW “Sonic” must think I’m the bitchiest old man alive. Sorry, guys, but this issue didn’t really work for me either. Though Flynn is handling the aftermath better here than he did in the previous issue, he’s still too focused on plot and enough on heart. [6/10]