Sonic Underground: Conclusion

In the United States, “Sonic Underground’s” original run was from August 30th to October 22nd of 1999. The series would continue to air in syndication for a little while afterwards. Occasionally, it still pops up randomly on various cable stations with little warning or promotion. (Not too long ago, I randomly caught half of the infamous baby episode on one of the Starz channels.) But for the most part, this two-month run represents the entirety of "Sonic Underground's" impact on the wider "Sonic" history. 

Compare that to "SatAM," which ran for two beloved seasons and cross-pollinated with a comic book that lasted for two decades. Or "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog," which garnered a well-publicized re-run on cable and spawned three or four infamous memes. Sandwiched between DiC's well regarded early "Sonic" animations and "Sonic X" – arguably the most popular and successful "Sonic" cartoon, at least from a commercial stand point – “Underground" has sunk into obscurity.

Some would argue that is exactly where "Underground" belongs. Various times throughout this retrospective, I found myself wondering "What the fuck am I even watching?" When we got to episodes where Sonic was giving dating advice to a Minocentaur or tangoing with bickering hillbilly clans, I really had to ask myself why I was putting up with this nonsense. "Underground" represents the truest example of someone using the popular "Sonic" license as an excuse to inflict their demented personal visions on the world. Even the comics and "AoStH," with their wild divergences from video game lore, at least felt related in some way to the source material. Even Ken Penders' rambling epics at least linked back to the games, no matter how vaguely.

Without Tails, without Power Rings, with a version of Robotnik indistinguishable from any generic cartoon villain, and a cast full of canon foreigners, what were Sonic fans left with? Four episodes with Knuckles and the occasional reference to the Chaos Emeralds, basically. It's no surprise that those episodes are the only "Sonic Underground" installments anyone recalls with much fondness.

Of course, I generalize. Some do recall "Sonic Underground" with fondness. Dig deep enough into the Internet and you can find petitions calling for the show's revival, fan-sites, disturbing fan art, and bizarre fan fiction. If this blog has had no other point, it's been to determine why the "Sonic" franchise enjoys such a cult-like devotion. I have my theories – his simplistic design and generic "cool" attitude makes his appeal wide and his variations immeasurable – but here's the facts: If Sonic is in a thing, somebody is going to be obsessed with it. The law of averages dictates that "Underground" would be somebody's introduction to the series. Coming ahead of the much-hyped Dreamcast and "Adventure" series probably did help lure some eyeballs to "Underground." And a small percentage of those viewers came away fans for life.

And then there's the matter of "Underground's" ending. Or rather, its lack of one. Nothing frustrates fans into fanatical devotion like a missing ending. This is what led (considerably more prominent) cult phenomena like "Firefly" and "Twin Peaks" to eventual revivals. If, for some god forsaken reason, you were drawn into "Underground's" mythology, I can see the lack of a resolution leaving you curious for years. An episode rarely passed that didn't mention the prophecy or the missing Queen Alena. Seemingly the whole show was building up to some sort of conclusion, so I can understand the lack of one keeping the fandom – meager as it is – burning for a while. This is presumably why Ian Flynn wanted to produce a comic book conclusion to the cartoon before Sega told him absolutely not.

Sega's unwillingness to ever mention the show again perhaps speaks to its overall reputation. I, for one, cannot share the fondness for "Sonic Underground" that some people demonstrate. If my increasingly incensed reviews didn't make it clear, I did not enjoy watching "Sonic Underground." It took me almost three months to work my way through the entire show, which is longer than it took for it to air in its entirety originally. It wasn't just the nearly complete divorce from everything we associate with "Sonic" that made me hate "Underground." So much of this show was aesthetically repulsive to me. The character designs were atrocious. The animation was cheap and often charmless. The scripts were frequently sloppy, if not wholly nonsensical. The music was usually godawful. I know it's most likely because the writers were forced to crank out two episodes a week but it frequently seemed like little care was taken at all to ensure "Underground" had any internal consistency, drive, or purpose behind it.

I went into this retrospective with extremely low expectations, mostly remembering the show as a cringey mediocrity. I think I came out of this actually disliking the show more. If suffering through those juvenile musical numbers was embarrassing as an eleven-year-old boy, they were physically painful when watching as a thirty-two-year-old man. As a kid, I guess I never thought much about Queen Alena's whole deal. As an adult, I found myself despising the vague and obnoxious machinations of her and the Oracle, yanking her kids around in service of some bullshit destiny that sounded increasingly made-up as the show went on. The show's prophecies were so obviously empty noise signifying nothing and it made me low-key angry that the show expected children to fall for that shit. Lastly, the show's disturbing fetishic undertones–  noticeable in its obsession with covering characters in slime or giant throbbing feet – went unnoticed by kid-me but stick out like an enormous sore toe to adult-me. 

If nothing else, rewatching "Sonic Underground" really made me appreciate "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" more. That show was also cheaply animated, frequently nonsensical, and often disconnected from the source material. Despite that, I came away from "AoStH" kind of liking it. It was colorful, if nothing else. There was an in-your-face bizarreness and grotesque quality to that show which is, in retrospect, admirable. It was shrill and obnoxious but it was also one-of-a-kind, even when compared to other shrill-obnoxious-grotesque kids show of its time. You can tell that the people who made "AoStH" were usually having fun. That even made that show's barely-disguised kinky underbelly charming. Those moments felt more like sick in-jokes between animators than a strange uncle exposing his ten-year-old nephew to his curated collection of Polaroids of strange women's feet. 

Compare that to "Sonic Underground." Nobody had fun making this show. Everything about it stinks of desperation. The scripts were obviously rushed, usually taking a generic idea and executing it in a sloppy manner that hinted at the absurd deadlines the staff dealt with. The garish character designs also suggest a rushed production timeline that left no room for fine tuning. The animation was bland and lifeless. The show had little of the demented originality of "AoStH," as it mostly built upon "SatAM's" corpse. Touches like the meandering prophecy and rock band gimmick speak to corporate executives making unreasonable demands, forcing elements they deemed trendy into a universe that didn't need them. 

The worst part is that it didn't have to be this way. The only episodes that rose to being halfway decent – namely "Flying Fortress" and "Sleepers" – suggested that good stories could be told within "Underground's" unwanted and obnoxious structure. I don't hate Sonia and Manic the way some do. Having Jaleel White voice a female character was, ya know, a bad idea. But they weren't without potential. Giving Sonic a brother and a sister could've resulted in okay episodes. I believe good stories could've been told within this frame work, if DiC or whoever wasn't determined to churn this thing out as quickly and cheaply as possible.

Ultimately, in my personal estimation, "Sonic Underground" can be called nothing but a creative failure. Three or four not-terrible episodes over the course of forty largely terrible ones is not a positive score. Its contribution to the overall weird-ass "Sonic" lore is negligible. When the show hit Netflix a while back, it spawned one or two quality shitposts. That is "Underground's" legacy and it's about what it deserves. I'm sure devotees of Sonia and Manic or even Sleet and Dingo are out there – god help them if they are – but the show is ultimately doomed to be a baffling, rightfully overlooked footnote. 

And that's my final thought on "Sonic Underground." Because this blog is devoted to a super-fast blue hedgehog, I won't be slowing down any. Come back next time as I begin a look at another "Sonic" cartoon. Will that journey be less painful? Only time will tell but I'm X-cited to start it. 

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.40: Virtual Danger

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.40: Virtual Danger

Original Air Date: October 22nd, 1999

To this day, there's still a lot of misinformation out there about "Sonic Underground's" series finale. It's a popular fan theory that the show was canceled abruptly. This seems to explain why "Sonic Underground" only ran forty episodes, as opposed to the sixty-plus run of the previous syndicated "Sonic" cartoon, and why it ends without a proper conclusion. Despite the urging of the theme song, the vow Sonic and his siblings made that their mother would be found would go unfulfilled. This rumor continues to circulate to this day, even on otherwise creditable sources like the Sonic News Network Wiki. Considering the show was under-publicized at the time of airing and never all that popular, an abrupt cancellation seems totally plausible. 

Yet this is not the truth. Ben Hurst, in a 2008 Q&A, explained that forty episodes is all that was ever planned. This raises the question of why DiC ended "Sonic Underground" without concluding the story. We don't know if they were hoping for a second season or if they just wanted the show to air forever in syndication in a continuous loop. Unless someone tracks down one of the bastards who produced this show for an interview someday, we'll probably never know. Either way, "Virtual Danger" – the fortieth and final episode – would not see the prophecy come to life. 

If not about the triplets being reunited with their mother and defeating Robotnik forever, what is "Virtual Danger" about? Playing video games. Sonic and Manic have become fixated on a VR game called Castle Conquest, which involves flying jets through a 3D castle. They form a rivalry with another player called Destructo. Sonia doesn't think this is a very productive use of their time but it actually prepares them to remote pilot the shipping convoys the Resistance has been ripping off. Their victory is short lived, as Sonic and Manic soon learn Destructo is actually Robotnik. The entire scenario has been an elaborate trap. It's up to Sonia and Cyrus to save their asses. 

In the nineties, as gaming rose from a niche hobby to a billion dollar industry, there were a lot of well-intentioned but hopelessly uninformed concern about the technology. Parents saw their kids obsessed with these noise-making boxes and got worried. This was mostly based in a boomer fear of new technology, with some good old fashion scapegoating and xenophobia thrown in. (It would actually take another generation before gaming started turning kids into psychopaths.) Out of this concern arose a number of hilariously out-of-touch stories about how gaming was bad. Low budget horror movies like "Brainscan" or "Arcade" and mediocre episodes of "The X-Files" and "Star Trek" pushed the narrative of "if you die in the game, you die in real life" into the mainstream. 

"Virtual Danger" has a lot in common with those types of stories. Eventually, Sonic and Manic are literally sucked into the game, where their lives are in danger. How this is possible isn't really explained and it's just one example of how this episode doesn't really understand gaming. Destructo can also send files to Sonic and Manic through the game, when it doesn't quite work that way. Mostly, you have to laugh at how a VR headset and some controllers create a completely immersive experience for Sonic and Manic. It's been almost twenty-two years since this cartoon aired and they still haven't figured that shit out. Lastly, with its single level and simple premise, "Castle Conquest" doesn't seem like it would be a very fun game. It's pretty obvious Ben Hurst and Pat Allee didn't play many games themselves.

Misunderstanding the technology the episode is ostensibly about is not the most vexing thing about "Virtual Danger." More annoying is that Robotnik once again displays his incompetence here. If he's able to play online with Sonic and Manic, and send them files, obviously he's hooked up to their computer. Why not just use that to track where they are? Wouldn't that be easier then sucking them into an elaborate simulated reality? Imagine that: Sonic and Manic are just playing their game when Robotnik swats their asses with SWATBots. Despite going to all the effort to create this technology, he doesn't use it very well. If Sonic and Manic are sucked into a perfect simulation that Robotnik controls, why doesn't he just immediately crush them? Why does he give them a chance to run, to fight back, to escape? How did this incompetent buffoon ever take over Mobius? 

There I go again, actually exploring the episode's premise in a meaningful way. Let's talk about what "Virutal Danger" does and not what it fails to do. Destructo has one of the worst designs in this show if hideous characters. He looks like the inbred offspring of some "Doom" demons. Somebody – I'm assuming Maurice LaMarche – gives him a Woody Allen-style voice, I guess to emphasize the stereotypical nerdy gamer image. There's a minor plot point about how Sonia can't just unplug the console, once Sonic and Manic are sucked in, which is an amusing and certainly coincidental parallel of "The Matrix." The action scenes, especially the moments devoted to Sonic piloting the shipping shuttles, are poorly animated. It's almost amazing how this show routinely took potentially exciting action scenes and rendered them boring via utterly lifeless animation. 

Since we are at the last episode, it's time to confront the last song of "Sonic Underground." After the mission, Manic lays down and takes a nap. He dreams a scenario where Sonic, Sonia, and Manic fly through "Castle Conquest" on hovering disc and play their instruments. Which means the surreal quality of the musical number is justifiable, for once. As for the song itself, it's not too annoying. "Don't Let Your Guard Down" has a kind of catchy synth backing track. The lyrics, which talk about standing up for yourself in a sometimes cruel world, are a smidge darker than this show's music usually is. Sonic's singing voice has gotten slightly less nasally and annoying as the show has gone on. Compared to some of the terrible fucking musical dreck "Underground" produced, this song is one of the better ones. At least we kind of went out in a high note, in that regard. 

As I said earlier, "Virtual Danger" provides nothing in the way of finality. Aside from her opening monologue, Queen Alena isn't even referenced in this episode. Neither are Sleet and Dingo, so maybe Robotnik finally fired/Roboticized their dumb-asses. Hurst does bring Cyrus back and even references the events of "Come Out Wherever You Are," so there's a little bit of continuity here. While it's hard to know for sure if anyone knew this would be the show's last installment, its final moments do feel a little significant. Sonic crashes some shipping convoys into Robotnik's tower, exploding it. He then proclaims "Game over!," before the show dramatically irises out. If they hadn't included Robotnik crying out in annoyance after his fortress blows up, you could almost believe the villain is killed in this scene. That's the closest "Virtual Danger" comes to a climactic moment for the whole show. 

Now that I think about it, doing an episode about how playing too many video games is bad for health for a show based on a video game is amusingly ironic. Did Sega know, or even care, that this cartoon they lent their mascot to was encouraging kids not to play games? But I suspect, once the licensing deal was done, Sega didn't pay much attention to "Sonic Underground." If I've learned anything from running this blog for five years, it's that Sega let overseas licensors do almost anything with their characters in the nineties. And let that – a complete lack of effort and oversight from people at the top – be the epitaph for "Sonic Underground." I'll save the rest of my closing thoughts on this program for next time and just say, for now, that "Virtual Danger" is indistinguishable from most of "Sonic Underground's" episodes: Sloppily written and animated in service of an unrelated premise, resulting in a grating and mediocre product. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.39: The Pendant

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.39: The Pendant

Original Air Date: October 21st, 1999 

As we head into the penultimate episode of "Sonic Underground," I really have to ask this question: What was with this show's obsession with neck jewelry? The magical medallions Sonic, Sonia, and Manic appear in every episode. That damnable hillbilly episode revolves around a pendant split in two, that needed to be reunited. "The Pendant," the thirty-ninth, also features a magical two-part necklace that must be reformed. The likely answer to this question is that the writers were strapped for time and unknowingly ripped each other off, out of desperation. Yet I think magical jewelry reappearing so much really does speak to this show's fixation on prophecies and other mystical woo-woo bullshit. Why think of something interesting when you can just have a wizard or glowing rock or necklace motivate the story?

There's lots of magical bullshit in this episode. Somehow the pollution from Robotropolis has revealed a previously undiscovered country, known as the Emerald Peninsula. Robotnik plans to Roboticize the natives. The locals are superstitious and believe in creatures called Boggins, magical imps that surrender treasure when caught. Sleet transforms Dingo into a boggin and uses him as bait to trap the population. Meanwhile, Sonic, Sonia, and Manic investigate, encountering an old fortune teller named Maeve. She points them towards a magical pendent, that allows Sonia to see anything she wishes. Yet it has the side effect of making her body fade away. The siblings must retrieve the second half of the pendent to save their sister. 

I'm sorry if the above plot synopsis reads like the deranged ramblings of a lunatic. "The Pendant" is a Ben Hurst/Pat Allee script and it is, to say the least, not their most coherent work. This episode is awash in half-formed nonsense. Why does the pendant make Sonia slowly fade away like a McFly sibling? The fortune teller is eventually revealed to be a fairy, that couldn't revert to her natural state without the pendants being reunited. Were the royal triplets just tricked into helping a chaotic neutral fae undo some curse that was afflicting her? Was Sonia's limbs becoming transparent just a ploy to insure they help her? If so, how come Maeve is never depicted as evil or even mischievous? What the fuck does any of this shit have to do with anything???

These are far from the only questions I have. If the Pendant can reveal anyone's location, why doesn't Sonia used it to find their mom? What does this entire business with the titular MacGuffin, introduced half-way through this episode, have to do with Robotnik roboticizing the locals? How come we never spend any time with the citizens of the Emerald Peninsula, that are so imperiled? In fact, the second half shifts entirely to Sonia's vanishing act, the script forgetting about the people who were being Roboticized. Were they ever rescued or did the Resistance just forget about them? Maeve, in her fairy form, grants Sonic a wish at the episode's end. Instead of using that wish to free the captured people, undo all Roboticization everywhere, bring their mom to them, or make Robotnik's empire collapse... He instead uses it to play a bizarre prank on the tyrant. 

What does the script take the time to set up this business with the boggins, heavily implied to be real with glowing eyes seen in bushes, and then do nothing with the idea? Why does Queen Alena's opening narration frame this episode's moral as "never forget that magic is real?" When magic is what endangers our heroes? When they have regularly interacted with magic throughout the entire series? Why is there a pink blur sprinting around the peninsula, that Maeve calls a Bog Beast? It shows up several times to help our heroes out of jams, the sloppiest of plot devices. Why does the final, baffling scene reveal this creature to have Robotnik's face? Why did this "Sonic" cartoon take a detour into Irish-inspired mythology and introduce leprechaun-like creatures that sound like hand puppets? WHHHHHHYYYYYY???

Trying to break down this script is giving me an aneurysm, so let's focus on it's more brass tacks narrative flaws. The episode's climax is a standoff between Sleet and Sonic. Sleet has retrieved the second half of the Pendant, needed to keep Sonia from fading away. (How he did this is never explained but let's not focus on that right now.) Sleet and Sonic trade tense dialogue as they try to bargain out a trade, which the canine immediately goes back on. Afterwards, Sonic and Manic kick everybody's asses with ease. Because of course they do. We've seen thirty-eight previous episodes where Sleet is brutally humiliated by his enemies. Why does this show expect to mine any tension out of this joker being a creditable threat? 

This is not the only time this episode completely undermines its own threat. We also find out the SWATBots have fucking off switches hidden in their arms. The original SWATBots were hardly enormous threats but I'm perpetually impressed with how much the "Underground" versions suck. This is just another example of how subpar this cartoon. The animation is stiff and awkward, which is displayed during a scene where Sonia rides Manic's hoverboard up into a ship. The character designs are dreadful. The natives of peninsula are more of the show's hideous bug/alien people. Maeve looks like a cross between "FernGully's" Magi Lune and a blue-skinned donkey and has a giant white flattop for some reason. No care was taken to insure any of this made any sense or didn't look like complete dogshit. 

As if "The Pendant" couldn't get more baffling, there's the matter of the episode's song. Considering the setting and premise, you'd expect this one to be an Irish jig or something, right? RiverDance was huge in the late nineties, would've fit right in. Instead, the song is shoved into the episode's early scenes... And it's a Yankee Doodle style patriotic showtune called "Lady Liberty." The song makes visual references to American iconography like the Statue of Liberty, Washington crossing the Delaware, the flag billowing in the wind, and The Spirit of '76. This is all in preparation for a holiday called Liberty Day, a bit of information that is not elaborated upon. Cyrus' watches the entire song – which is so bad and off-balance that it doesn't really qualify as music – with a frozen expression on his face. I know that was just the shitty animation but it made me laugh because I reacted the exact same way. You think everyone just watches in dumbfounded disbelief when Sonic and siblings randomly enact a music video? I like to think they do. 

Just when this show was starting to get a little better in its last third, it completely blindsided me with a real humdinger like this one. "The Pendant" is bad because it's poorly written, animated, and assembled but mostly because it's so actively defies any sort of logic. The only real response you can have to this is to ask why the fuck any of these things are happening, which is basically what I did. Sorry if that didn't make for a compelling review. Once again, this cartoon has defeated me. [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.38: The ART of Destruction

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.38: The ART of Destruction

Original Air Date: October 20th, 1999

After previously gifting us with "Country Crisis," writer Laren Bright would return for another episode. "The ART of Destruction" had Robotnik fed up with his incompetent henchmen. He builds a new robot called ART – whose name is an extremely vague acronym for Artificial Robot Technology – that learns from its mistakes and can rebuild itself when destroyed. ART is soon sent on a quest to eliminate Sonic, Sonia, and Manic. (Who is feeling a little discouraged these days.) After listening to the band's sick riffs, ART realizes tyranny is wrong and decides to help the Resistance. A new villainous scheme is engineered to capture the hedgehogs and the turncoat robot. 

As far as "Sonic Underground's" various one-off characters go, ART has more potential than most. As a threat, he's outfitted with a bunch of laser blasters and cannons. He also has Doc Ock style tentacles. His ability to rebuild himself, displayed after he pulls himself out of a vat of molten steel and regenerates his body from scrap metal, is fairly intimidating. Having this durable murder-boy learn the errors of his way and start to fight against evil is potentially interesting too. ART's personality starts out as childish, including speaking in monosyllabic sentences which grow more nuanced the more he learns. The design is mediocre, as his robotic lips are slightly unnerving and his Christmas-y color scheme is garish but that's to be expected from "Sonic Underground." 

Yet, as with all things with this show, "The ART of Destruction" doesn't have the convictions to actually make these ideas work. All it takes is one overheard musical number for ART to go from bad to good. He says he learned about "freedom and friendship" after a single rock song! The siblings similarly grow attached to the machine over a very short period of time, which certainly strains believability. As is usually the case, any attempt at real emotion this show makes comes off as deeply corny instead. Hearing a robot, with a stereotypical halting voice, laugh at bad puns or spout platitudes about never giving up is more humorous than touching. 

And "touching" is what the episode is going for. "The ART of Destruction" concludes with the robot sacrificing himself so the triplets can escape the ol' shrinking room death trap. The scene is drawn out, making the situation seem less urgent. ART repeatedly says he can't leave the room without being crushed but, considering how slowly those walls are moving, it really seems to me he had time to escape. Mostly, it's the horribly trite dialogue he shares with Manic in these final moments that make me roll my eyes. Manic makes repeated references to being discouraged that the Resistance can ever stop Robotnik throughout the episode, which is mildly out-of-character for him. ART's sacrifice, somehow, renews Manic's heroic spirit. At best, it's awkwardly done. At worst, it's the show trying to wring pathos out of an underdeveloped character. Mostly, it just comes off as "Underground" favoring a vague moral lesson over actual decent storytelling. 

It's not just ART's robotic dialogue and the contrivances of the shoddy script that are stilted. "The ART of Destruction" is another episode with some really questionable animation. The scene where ART corners the hedgehogs in the factory features maybe the slowest laser beam I have ever seen in a cartoon. Shortly afterwards, Sonic seemingly uses his glowing medallion to float over a tub of molten steel over something. It's such an awkwardly framed and animated moment that I'm not entirely sure what's happening. ART may be a shapeshifter of sorts but the animators seem to use that as an excuse to have him randomly change size throughout these twenty-one minutes. 

And it just wouldn't be "Sonic Underground" without some weird shit that makes me uncomfortable. There's also a moment where Sleet and Dingo, disgraced and cast aside by Robotnik, are reduced to vacuuming up a dirty alley way. Dingo is, of course, transmogrified into a vacuum and seems to be eating the refuge he sucks up in this form. This is followed by him sneezing a massive blob of sticky goop on Sleet and, afterwards, Sleet shatters apart like cracked glass in what I'm assuming is a really poorly deployed visual pun. It's a random deployment of cartoon physics that ends a gross, bizarre scene on an especially baffling note. 

As we close in on "Underground's" final episode, I'll continue to assert that the songwriting/performing team have gotten slightly better at their job. Today's song, "The Sound of Freedom" is a bit of cheesy butt rock. The chunky drum beat and driving guitar work is not bad actually. The lyrics are corny as hell but fit the hyper-patriotic, aggro Dad Rock sound – Sonic literally shouts "Freedom!" several times throughout – the song is going for. I listened to it a few times and I kind of like it. It makes me want to drink a cold beer and dip some mozzarella sticks in marinara sauce. Again, the team focusing on writing in-universe, anti-Robotnik rock anthems for the Resistance produces music that is, if not good, at least less cringe-inducing than the genre leaping attempts at moral education that previously employed. 

There might not be much in the way of art to this particular episode but I also didn't completely hate it. At least it was trying a potentially interesting story. The execution wasn't very good but, with this show, you earn points for trying. If nothing else, it's better than that hillbilly shit Bright wrote last time. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.37: Bartleby the Prisoner

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.37: Bartleby the Prisoner

Original Air Date: October 19th, 1999

Let's jump right into this one: Bartleby is just hanging out in his mansion, doing rich people shit, when a SWATBot barges in and arrests him. He's immediately put on trial for assisting the Resistance. Little does he know, this is actually a trap to lure out Sonia and her brothers. Who are on the other side of the planet! The triplets are currently trying to destroy a mine where Robotnik are harvesting ultra condensed rubies, that can be used to create extremely powerful lasers. Will Sonia be able to destroy Robotnik's new resource and save her ex-boyfriend? 

In case you were wondering, and the above plot synopsis didn't make it apparent: No, the two plot lines in "Bartleby the Prisoner" never actually interact. Sonia travels back and forth between helping her brothers out at the mine and checking in on Bartleby. No attempt is made to link these two ideas on a narrative level. Instead of focusing on one over the other, "Bartleby the Prisoner" attempts to make equal room for both. Which means we have two story lines here and they are both horribly underdeveloped. It feels like two vaguely fleshed out plot synopses just awkwardly existing next to each other. Two writers are credited with this script – Eleanor Burian-Mohr wrote an episode of "AoStH" but this is Terence Taylor's only "Sonic"-related credit – and I honestly wonder if both didn't just write their own scripts and then haphazardly mush them together. 

I really have very little to say about the ruby mine portion of the episode. It leads to some extremely underwhelming action scenes, devoted to Sonic and the gang traveling around in a drill-tipped tank and blasting uninspired looking robots. The big moment, when Sonia jabs a ruby into the muzzle of her blaster and produces a powerful laser beam that collapses the mine, is so listlessly brought to life. The animation is weak, which is especially apparent during the odd moment when the drill tank explodes out the ground atop some sort of dirt geyser. Trevor, the hippy-looking Resistance member that has shown up twice before, is also here. He almost dies, when his shuttle is shot down, but the scene has so little dramatic tension that it barely registers. 

And, really, who gives a shit about Trevor? He's just some random guy, that we've never really gotten a chance to know. I hate to say it but I think I'm actually more invested in Bartleby. And Bartleby is a terrible character. Bartleby's haughty attitude, obnoxious voice, and unapologetically bougie personality has made him hard to like. I think the character was meant to function similarly to Antoine's role in "SatAM." Namely, a ridiculous stuffed shirt for our heroes to mock. Yet the semi-prominent role this idle rich idiot has played, especially his connection with Sonia, continued the distressing undercurrent in this series that "maybe the aristocracy isn't so bad." In other words: Bartleby is annoying, both because of who he is and what he means for this show.

Yet, at least after a dozen appearances, he undergoes some degree of character development here. Bartleby being persecuted by Robotnik for helping the Resistance could've led the aristocrat to a change of heart. It could've helped him realize that being a rich piece of shit totally complacent in Robotnik's cruel dictatorship is bad and that he should stop doing that. Instead, it's all just a trap and Bartleby doesn't face any real consequences for his actions. (Even though he actually has helped the Resistance multiple times, meaning Robotnik actually has a point here.) But by the end of the episode, Bartleby does realize that Sonia is never coming back to him. That they have chosen two incompatible paths. So that's something. He's still an obnoxious one-percenter fine with fascism as long as it doesn't affect him but at least he understands where his ex-girlfriend is coming from now. 

The episode chooses to show this growth with a final scene that parodies "Casablanca," for some reason. The other nineteen minutes have nothing to do with the rest of the film. Sonia and Bartleby's relationship isn't really comparable to Bogie and Ingrid Bergman. It's a pop culture reference inserted with no particular point. That is a good representation of this episode, which veers towards dumb-ass humor and weird parody. There are at least two references to the O.J. Simpson trial: Sleet drops the line "If he lies, you must Roboticize," an obvious callback to a notorious rhyming defense, and Sonic obsessively watches Bartleby's trial, even while on the mission, much the same way average Americans were hooked in the proceedings in the Simpson trial. The episode has nothing else in common with the 90s' most notorious miscarriage of justice. Yet at least these moments are funnier, due to sheer randomness, than the other attempts at humor here. Like Dingo being Bartleby's incompetent lawyer or Robotnik wearing a powdered wig. 

Oh yeah, there's a song too. When Sonic Underground shows up to rescue Bartleby, they rock out as they blast Robotnik's court room. Consider this the faintest of praise but the show's songs have gotten slightly better as it's gone along. "Justice Callin'" has childish lyrics but the message they're sending – Robotnik, we're coming for your fat ass – at least makes sense for this world. The songwriters for this show seemed to realize, late in the game, that songs strictly about the Resistance's struggle against Robotnik are a lot more natural than, say, a rap song about mummies. The hard rock backing track is also tolerable. It's not music I would ever listen to in other context but at least it didn't make me grit my teeth and look away in shame. 

If this review seemed unfocused and half-assed, I apologize. This episode is unfocused and half-assed and I can only work with what I'm given. It has a couple of moments that amused me, because of how out-of-place they are, but I can't really recommend it. As far as I can tell, this is Bartleby's final appearance on the show, so at least I won't have to look at this stupid face and hear his annoying voice ever again. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.36: Sleepers

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.36: Sleepers

Original Air Date: October 18th, 1999

During the entire run of "Sonic Underground," Ben Hurst and Pat Allee were trying to spin gold out of hay. As far as I can tell, they only came close this one time... "Sleepers" begins with Sonic, Sonia, and Manic observing a raid on a Robotropolis factory when suddenly the other Freedom Fighters are captured. Back at the base, Sonic is informed by Cyrus that this is the latest examples of Freedom Fighters being captured and Roboticized. That's because Robotnik has a new weapon in his arsenal: Sleepers, stealthy missiles powered by a rare mineral that produce a knock-out gas. The triplets see the Sleepers in effect first hand, when Manic is almost captured. They realize the best way to end this threat is to take out Robotnik's supply mine. 

"Sleepers" is an episode of "Sonic Underground" that feels a lot more like an episode of "SatAM." It's focused on the Freedom Fighters being on a deadly mission. The threat of Roboticization is focused on more, for the terrifying existential danger it is. Robotnik is the primary villain of the episode, with Sleet and Dingo barely appearing. (Dingo doesn't even have any dialogue here.) Queen Alena doesn't appear and there's no tacked-on moral. The focus is on strong storytelling, on underdog heroes fighting a guerilla war against a tyrant. In fact, I'm not convinced that Hurst didn't dust off an unused SatAM script and simply replace those characters with "Underground" characters. It's easy to see Sally, Tails, and Rotor in Sonia, Manic, and Cyrus' roles here. Sleet acts largely as a Snively-style toadie throughout this episode, which is quite different from his usual characterization. This is not a complaint. I'd rather have warmed over "SatAM" than scenes of Dingo being turned into a hotdog stand or extended sequences of characters being covered in muck. 

In fact, "Sleepers" even manages to invest its story with a degree of emotion. Sonic watches as two of his comrades are captured... And it really pisses him off. He takes the fight directly to Robotnik, largely without telling Sonia and Manic. As he's dropped into a room full of Roboticized former colleagues, Sonic ruefully mentions all their names. This is personal for him. When Robotnik locks him in a cell with a highly accurate laser beam, for the first time in this entire series you feel why these two characters hate each other so much. Robotnik sees his conquest of the planet as nothing but a game. Meanwhile, Sonic is losing friends out there. Why didn't a scene like this happen at the beginning of the series?  

This is not the only emotion inside "Sleepers." When Sonic, Sonia, Manic, and Cyrus sneak into Robotnik's base to destroy the Sleepers... Cyrus is reunited with his dad. Remembering their medallions have the ability to temporarily undo the mind control effects of Roboticization, displayed all the way back in episode two, the triplets return Cyrus's dad to normal for a few minutes. He tells them about the mines and gives them the plot device they'll need to get closer. Father and son have a tearful reunion before they have to go again, his father well aware that the effects of the medallions are temporary. Yes, for this one episode "Underground" used some continuity to add emotional pathos to its story. Holy shit, what was stopping the show from doing this all the time? 

Continuing to shock and amaze, this episode also has some pretty decent action scenes. When Sonic rages into Robotropolis, Sonia and Manic aren't far behind. We are welcomed to some standard scenes of the good guys wrecking SWATBots.... Except they don't suck. A SWATBot deploys a secret laser at Sonic, catching him off-guard and displaying that these machines aren't always total jokes. There's a pretty decent chase scene involving Sonia on her bike and Manic on his hover board. They even do what I'm pretty sure is an intentional homage to the "Akira" bike slide scene. There's even some humor afterwards, where Sonic and Sonia whip some ass inside a transport ship off-screen. Shockingly, this isn't a totally shitty joke and the above-average quality of the proceeding action scene even makes the humor here well earned.

Okay, the animation still isn't great. The first scene has another moment of Sonia doing that weird spinning cyclone move of her's, which I still hate. And, naturally, there is a musical number. However, even that is pretty well integrated. The song simply acts as a soundtrack for the sequence of the triplets rounding up the remaining Sleepers and destroying them. This is actually a pretty smart way to keep the story moving while still indulging DiC's absurd insistence on including a song in every episode. The song is a forgettable, vaguely-rockabilly-sounding ditty called "Have It All Again." It's another generic anthem about how Freedom Fighters rule, Robotnik drools, and someday the war will just be a memory. It's lame but is still far preferable to some hokey nonsense about the episode's forced-in moral. 

The only complaint I have about "Sleepers" is that it doesn't really have time for a proper climax. The episode made room for Sonic being angry and Cyrus being sad about his dad, which means the story revolves itself largely off-screen. Sonic taunts Robotnik while Sonia and Manic destroy the mines as quickly as possible. All of this happens in the final two minutes of the episode. However, I think that was the right decision. Allowing some breathing room for the characters' feelings is way more important than giving us another explosion. Though if the episode was five minutes longer, that wouldn't have hurt it.

Yes, holy shit, I can't believe it. I just said I wished an episode of "Sonic Underground" was longer. I don't know how Ben and Pat did it but, after 35 episodes of some of the worst cartoon shit I've ever willingly exposed myself to do, they managed to create a genuinely, unironically good episode of this show. I don't know how but maybe DiC actually gave them an extra weekend to polish a script for once. (Or maybe Ben really did reuse an old "SatAM" script, which honestly would explain so much.) "Sleepers" proves that "Underground" wasn't unsalvageable. That these characters and this story could've produced a good cartoon show, if everyone involved was allowed to bring their A-game. Or at least allowed to ignore most of the stupid shit that typically characterizes this show. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 44

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 44

Publication Date: September 15th, 2021

It's time for another monthly installment of "Zack Describes His Relationship with IDW's "Sonic" Series." By now, I think the new comic is officially beloved by the "Sonic" fandom, to a degree that maybe eclipses the Archie series. My Twitter feed is packed with fan art of Surge and Kit, two characters who haven't even debuted yet, and the announcement of the Whisper plush was met with orgasmic glee from many corners of the fandom. While I'm fairly invested in certain elements of the book, it still feels compromised in a way that bugs me. Which we'll discuss more as I talk about the brand new issue today. 

Part four of "Zeti Hunt" features very little of the Zetis. The Deadly Six is in custody at the issue's beginning. Sonic and Tails load them into a rocket, Gamera style, and shoot them back to their home world. Most of the issue is devoted to Belle being kidnapped by Dr. Starline. He intentionally provokes an emotional response in the puppet, so his computers can analyze the way her advanced robotic/wooden brain works. The Chaotix bust in and rescue her but Starline already has what he needs and gleefully escapes. 

Remember how I wondered aloud in my last comic review if bringing the Deadly Six back was just a way for Ian Flynn to occupy the Sega heroes, while he laid the groundwork for the upcoming "Imposter Syndrome" mini-series in the background? It brings me absolutely no joy to report that this hunch was one hundred percent correct. The final part of this story arc constitutes nothing but a brief epilogue. Zavok and his gang are already defeated by the first page and are quickly brushed off-panel, so the comic can focus on the shit it's actually interested in. There's a brief denouncement, where the Zetis land back on Lost Hex and promise they will return, stronger than ever, but that feels totally obligatory. It's Flynn's way of saying the Zetis will return someday but they are not a going concern for the present. And that's exactly what it feels like, the author patting us in the head and saying "Yeah, don't worry about these guys for a while."

In fact, Sonic himself has almost nothing to do in this issue. He explains the circumstances of Zavok's defeat and mocks the bad guys a little. There's one meaty moment in this entire exchange. When Zavok realizes Sonic is deporting them, instead of executing or empoisoning them, he laughs. Being a part of a proud warrior race, Zavok thinks mercy is a weakness. He promises he will return, worst than ever, and make Sonic regret this decision. This causes the hedgehog to reflect on the previous times this exact same thing has happened to him: When he let Eggman remain as Mr. Tinker, which eventually beget a world-swallowing apocalypse. How Metal Sonic returned from defeat to vex the good guys again. And how Shadow and Espio both chastised Sonic for allowing these things to happen. 

This seems to be an element of Sonic's personality Flynn has been building on. That his heroic qualities mean he always sees the best in people, even though this attitude has repeatedly bit him in the ass. This could lead to an interesting dilemma down the line, where Sonic questions his own tactics, his own morality, and wonders if he has the guts to make the hard decisions... But that's feeling increasingly unlikely. Sonic simply dismisses Zavok's taunting by saying he won't "sacrifice his principals out of fear." Instead, I'm beginning to suspect that this is Flynn's half-assed way to justify the Joker Conundrum: Where obviously dangerous villains stick around because of the rules of comic book plotting. Because they have to return eventually, because the comic can't just introduce a new bad guy every month. 

And I hate to keep bringing this up – complaining about these nebulous "Sega Mandates" is the worst cliché of Sonic comic fandom now – but it really does feel like something being imposed on Flynn. Insisting Sonic always be an ultra-good Good Guy, and that his enemies are never defeated forever, feels like something Flynn's corporate paymasters would do. The people of Mobius "Sonic's world" are never going to turn on Sonic because he keeps letting the villains walk away. Flynn will keep returning to this plot point, of Sonic wondering if he's doing the right thing, because he has to in order to keep his job. It's never going to pay off or resolve. It's the author trying to create depth out of the crumbs he's forced to work with.

And that represents my real problem with IDW "Sonic." It's chained to what Sega wants the "Sonic" franchise to be. Archie's "Sonic" was allowed, partly through corporate negligence, to become a completely unique version of Sonic. It's why, no matter how hard Flynn tries, no matter how many exclusive characters or decent stories are contained inside it, IDW "Sonic" can never be its own thing. It's always destined to be a spin-off to the video games, an ancillary product to the part of the franchise we're supposed to care the most about. And since most "Sonic" fans are invested in the video games, first and foremost, they're not going to complain about this. But I am, because I'm an old man. 

Flynn is obviously frustrated by these limitations too, which is why he's so clearly more interested in his own characters, that he can do pretty much whatever he wants with. Belle's story is allowed to have pathos, when Sonic's can only fake it. In this issue, we finally see Belle's backstory, how Mr. Tinker built her as an assistant. How she loved him and was beloved, in turn, by the villagers. And how they turned on her after the Metal Virus Crisis and dismantled everything Mr. Tinker built. We see how Belle's identity crisis is rooted in everything she thought she was being soundly rejected by those around her. This ties in with her function as a "fixer," because she even wants to fix the things that can't be mended, like her father figure letting her down or people being bigoted against robots. 

This stuff is good and I really feel for Belle in these scenes. When she lashes out in anger at Starline or cries softly in the corner, your heart goes out for this little wooden girl. And the way Vector caresses her head and tells her that she has friends here for her, that being around people who actually value her is the only way to "fix" these wounds, it's very touching. Yes, it is surreal to me to see Vector – who I'm so used to seeing written as a meatheaded galoot or buffoonish comic relief – play a role in an emotionally meaningful moment. In fact, Flynn also has Vector be the straight man to Belle's comedic overreaction earlier. So I guess the "Computer room!" meme is now a responsible adult in this comic book. Feels weird but I can roll with it. 

Since solicitations have already told us what is coming, there's not much suspense in what Starline is up to in this issue. Obviously, the information on Belle's brain will help him build the evil clones that are going to star in a mini-series in six weeks. Yet Flynn clearly still enjoys writing Starline. His type of villainy – ridiculously self-assured, refined and intellectual and more than a little flamboyant – is something the "Sonic" franchise doesn't quite have right now. He uses "gracious" as an interjection, says "my dear child" to Charmy, gingerly places Belle's cute little hat back on her head, and sails gracefully through the air while using his superpowers. Dr. Starline is the kind of guy who talks with his hands a lot. That's why, in my brain, he now sounds like Bill Hader's impression of Vincent Price. The point is Starline really enjoys being a bad guy, Flynn clearly enjoys writing that, and the reader picks up in that joy. 

So issue 44 is one I have a lot of mixed feelings about. Tracy Yardley's art is strong. He even does some cool things with the lay-out, when he has a page of Starline talking about his past with Eggman and Belle talking about her past with "Mr. Tinker" mirror each other. Starline's campy villainy is enjoyable and Belle's arc remains the most compelling thing the series has going right now. Yet this issue so sharply defines the limitations of this comic book and makes the last three issues feel like a fucking waste of time. I don't know, I guess that evens out to a [6/10]. I will definitely continue to bitch and moan about this shit so get used to it. 

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.35: The Big Melt

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.35: The Big Melt

Original Air Date: October 15th, 1999

While enjoying some downtime at the beach, Sonia receives news that Robotnik is planning some bad shit at the North Pole. Sonic and his siblings head to the frozen north, were they see that Robotnik is melting the ice caps. The trio is separated following one such glacier breaking apart. Sonia is taken in by a trio of penguins, who believe her to be their prophesized queen. Sonic and Manic are captured by Sleet and Dingo. The siblings have to regroup to save the day and destroy Robotnik's melting mechanisms. 

Here in 2021, it is apparent that man-made global warming represents the biggest threat to human civilization and its future. While some people – most backed or brainwashed by billionaire industrialists – claim this isn't so, every creditable scientist agrees. Since "Sonic" is an ecologically themed series, it's not surprising that it was tackling that threat as early as 1999. Unfortunately, as you've probably guessed, "Sonic Underground" did not have the most nuanced take on the topic. Here, Robotnik is melting the polar ice cap not because he's a cartoonishly evil capitalist who only cares about short-term profit and couldn't give less of a shit if poor people are left in an ecological doomsday scenario. He wants to flood the planet strictly to kill the hedgehogs. This Robotnik is so nihilistic, he is willing to literally destroy the entire world just to smite his enemies. This would be frightening if it wasn't so absurd. Flooding the entire planet, killing untold millions, just to get at three measly hedgehogs is a tad over-the-top, don't ya think?

Since it's obviously incapable of tackling the political and sociological reasons behind the global warming problem, "The Big Melt" simply presents a narrative challenge. After the dramatic scene of the glacier breaking apart, the siblings are separated. Considering how much of this show is built around the relationship between the triplets, splitting them up is not a bad idea for an episode. Especially sending them adrift in an inhospitable location like the frozen north. This could've been a survival story, of our heroes left disoriented by having to be self-reliant and also having to navigate some very rough terrain. 

Instead, Sonic and Manic are quickly captured by Sleet and Dingo, quickly escaping with ease, while Sonia is embroiled in a bizarre subplot. A trio of penguins – one sounds like Marlon Brando, one sounds like Curly Howard, and one sounds like Garry Chalk doing his Grounder voice – find her and immediately assume she's their prophesized Queen Sauna, who is supposed to bring warmth and prosperity to the Arctic. They even have an elaborate underground lair, decorated with hieroglyphics and a large statue devoted to their promised queen. The statue does indeed look just like Sonia and, for a single scene, she is sucked into being pampered by the locals. She insists she's not the messiah, Haile Selassie style, even though her appearance does coincide with the ice caps getting warmer. (Why the penguins would want the arctic to get warmer, I'm sure I don't know.) The implications of this, if Sonia really is the messiah to some penguins, is never addressed. Neither is why animals like penguins would even know what a hedgehog is. How many hedgehog-related prophecies on Mobius are there?

If this entire subplot seems like a bizarre digression from the rest of the episode, that's because it is. After Sonia leaves the penguins' lair, they are never brought up again. Sonia never mentions how the local people believe her to be a god. In fact, this entire sequence has no effect on the rest of the story at all. I was really assuming that the penguins would help Sonia and her siblings stop Robotnik. That these events would either shatter their belief in her or further confirm it. Instead, the hedgehogs defeat the bad guy all on their own, simply with a well-placed bomb. The penguins and their devotion to Queen Sauna is never mentioned again. It really feels like Len Janssen had two different ideas for an episode and randomly mashed them up. 

In fact, "The Big Melt" has a third premise baked inside. The first scene has the triplets chilling on the beach, suggesting this will be another vacation themed episode. Before the plot swerves, the episode gets the musical number out of the way. "Fun in the Sun" is a pretty lame Beach Boys riff, though the writers at least did an okay job of mimicking Mike Love's particular lyrical style. More interesting is the bizarre images that accompany the song. Sonic and his siblings are imagined as ice cream cones or hot dogs cooking in a pan, while the other siblings attempt to eat them. There's also a scene where the triplets turn into dolphins and Sonic and Sonia give their brother a sensual, beachside back massage.

That's weird but more unsettling is the focus on everyone's feet. Yes, Sonic and Manic are barefoot on the beach. Which wouldn't be weird if their oversized, colorful tootsies and soles weren't so lovingly detailed. At the episode's end, as the heroes enjoy the suddenly sauna-like conditions at the north, there's more shots of their feet. Even though Sonia was depicted earlier with dainty feet, this scene has her growing enormous feet that are pointed, sole first, directly at the camera. (Yes, she's wearing a bikini in these scenes too.) Ya know, just once I'd like to get through an episode of this show without feeling like I'm being exposed to someone's jerk-off fantasy. It was funny when "AoStH" did it but there's just something incredibly unsavory about "Underground's" not-so-subtle fetishism. 

An out-of-balance plot, barely concealed perversion, and dumb-ass prophecies that don't make any sense: Oh look, it's a typical episode of "Sonic Underground." At this point, all I can really do is be thankful that I'm almost done with this retrospective. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.34: Sonia's Choice

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.34: Sonia's Choice

Original Air Date: October 14th, 1999

"Sonia's Choice" begins with the royal triplets running through the woods from a laser-spewing flying drone. They eventually defeat it and meet up with Trevor (last seen in "Harmony or Something") and a woman named Renee. Renee is from the country of Annes, where Robotnik is about to auction off a number of priceless relics from the hedgehog royal family. Sonic, Sonia, and Manic sneak in and avoid several traps to grab the goblet... But this, itself, is a trap. The floors were laced with highly traceable Mega Muck. Soon, Sonic and Manic are captured. Robotnik places them in Roboticizers on opposite ends of the city, with both machines programmed to activate at the same time. Sonia is forced to choose between which of her brothers to rescue.

"Sonia's Choice" takes its inspiration from Alan J. Paluka's grim 1982 drama, "Sophie's Choice." If you don't know, that's the tale of a Holocaust survivor recalling the time the Nazis forced her to choose which one of her children would live and which would die. Not exactly light-hearted viewing and a weird thing to see referenced in a shitty children's cartoon. Nevertheless, the idea of Sonia having to choose between her brothers is one rich with drama. Siblings (and parents too) don't like to admit this but they usually have a "favorite." Being forced to choose, to tactilely admit that one is loved over another, is a horrible predicament. And exactly the kind of sadistic shit you'd expect a villain like Robotnik to pull. Beyond that, it's just good writing. The protagonist is pulled between two hard decisions, with a time limit in place no less. Will our hero find a way to save both before it's too late?

Unfortunately, "Sonia's Choice" does almost nothing with this dynamite set-up. The actual "choice" part doesn't occur until the last third of the episode. This gives the episode no time at all to focus on Sonia's angst over the choice. There's no chance to show how she deliberates over choosing, to see how this horrible game weighs on her. The plot immediately switches into problem solving, which is not that compelling. That's because "Sonia's Choice" is no choice at all. She simply goes to one location while Renee goes to the other, rescuing both brothers. Essentially, Sonia is presented with a choice and finds a way not to make it. Which kind of undermines everything that's interesting about this premise in the first place! (By the way, Sonia personally rescues Sonic and sends Renee to save Manic, which seems to give us an answer to the question of which of her brothers she prefers.)

The episode actually goes even further to deflate any tension or dramatic potential. Sonia releases some sort of electric pulse, which shorts out the machines around Sonic and allows her to rescue him. Renee tries the same thing with Manic and it doesn't exactly work, leaving him stuck in a tube. That's when an aircraft outfitted with lasers swoops in, blasts away all of Robotnik's troops, and saves Manic. Queen Alena, despite appearing nowhere else in this episode, is immediately revealed to be behind the wheel. This is not the first time Ben Hurst has used a shitty deus ex machina to get his heroes out of a climatic jam but it might be the most egregious. The implication that the Queen is always watching out for her kids, ready to jump into action whenever she's needed, really keeps this show from being exciting. (And draws attention to the times she chooses not to get involved.) 

Worst yet, it's a totally unneeded plot device. Renee could have successfully saved Manic on her own. The episode presented a totally normal solution to its own problem. There was no need to have the Queen rush in and dramatically save the day. It's a contrivance introduced for no reason other than to remind the viewer that Queen Alena is constantly monitoring her children... Which just furthers the impression that the Queen doesn't actually want to raise her fucking kids. She just wants to play hero to them. She wants the brownie points from rescuing her kids, to further this image that she's an infallible superhero that's always there for them. But she doesn't put in the actual day-to-day work of being reliable. Hey, mom, where the fuck were you when Sonia was learning to ride her bike or when Manic was forced to steal in order to survive? It's very similar to Penders' fixation on Locke. What the fuck is with boomer "Sonic" writers idolizing emotionally distant and manipulative parents that care about their children in broad terms but can't be brother to actually parent them? 

Uh, sorry, I kind of went on a rant there. You know another thing that sucks about this episode? Most of it is devoted to a very underwhelming heist. There's a long scene of the triplets breaking into the museum, avoiding the various traps Robotnik has set up, and getting the treasure. It unfolds in a shockingly dull manner, with little in the way of humor or excitement. We already know that Robotnik wants Sonic and the others to grab the goblet, so trying to turn this foregone scenario into an exciting action set piece is a serious miscalculation. It seems the focus was on some very odd elements, like a scene of Sonic walking on the ceiling with his magnet shoes while Sonia and Manic dangle from a harness. Or the reptilian gargoyle-like sentries guarding the vault. 

Before we go, I've got to comment on two trademark elements of this show. First off, Sonic, Sonia, and Manic spend the first eight minutes of this episode smeared with mud for absolutely no reason at all. So there's that. Secondly, there's the required song. It's a solo from Sonia, hilariously inserted right after she learns Robotnik has forced her into a sadistic game. I know I've said in the past that Sonia's singing voice is the most tolerable one on the show. But the vocals here quickly become whiny and annoying. It doesn't help that the main refrain of the song is "why is it never easy for us?" Which makes the number feel even more like a spoiled rich girl (which we can't forget Sonia basically is) complaining about the petty inconveniences in her life. The very cheap, tinny sounding instrumentation of the sing also furthers this feeling. 

Anyway, there's two points to this review: First off, I loved ya, Ben, but you had some very flawed quirks as a writer. (And, I know, he would not claim this show as his best work anyway.) Secondly, I fucking hate Queen Alena. Only six of these left, thank god. [4/10]