Sonic X, Episode 2.20: A Wild Win

Sonic X, Episode 2.20: A Wild Win

Japanese Title: Sonic Battle: Finale!!

Japanese Air Date: February 15th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: February 26th, 2005

Instead of picking up the far more exciting plot point of Sonic chasing after Eggman, the last part of the "Sonic Battle" story arc begins by focusing on the martial arts tournament. The episode quickly progress through a series of matches before coming to the final fight: Knuckles vs. Emerl. The robot's abilities to copy his opponent's moves makes him an ideal match for Knuckles, who quickly relents to the beating he receives. As Emerl is handed the red Chaos Emerald, his electronic brain is overwhelmed. The formally kind robot gains red eyes and proceeds to attack everyone violently. Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge can't stop him and he's soon tearing the city apart. That's when a very unexpected hero emerges with the perfect strategy to stop the rampaging machine. 

As I've mentioned in the past, tournament arcs are often done to pad out the episode counts of long-running shonen fighting anime. (Usually so the manga can produce more material for the show to adapt.) This means the story lines usually go on for a decent number of episodes. "Sonic X," meanwhile, squeezes an entire fighting tournament into two episodes. "A Wild Win" crams six matches into its opening minutes, before a relatively short final battle occurs.

Admittedly, I have to admire the show for speeding through the match-ups, as I really didn't want to watch an endless series of fight scenes anyway. Yet I mostly came away from the first half of this episode thinking how disappointing a tournament this must have been for audiences to watch. Has there ever been a martial arts tournament before where so many matches end without actual fighting? Or where one opponent just randomly decides to give up? In this episode alone, Chris decides he doesn't want to fight Amy or Rouge in the finals, so he fakes a belly ache against Knuckles. Mr. Stewart forfeits his fight against Lucky, when Scarlet Garcia recognizes him from the "Sonic Adventure 2" subplot. When Lucky is suppose to fight Emerl, the bell-shaped robot just collapses from a sprained ankle or something. I guess Emerl learned to copy Lucky's luckiness? How the hell is that suppose to work? This follows the previous episode, where half the fights ended in boring forfeits or ring-outs.

The semi-final fight is one of the few actual showdowns the tournament presents us with. But the audience in the stadium is denied even the satisfaction of getting to see that. Perhaps remembering that Knuckles beat her the last time they fought, Rouge demands a handicap. (She uses the excuse of being a delicate female, which I can't believe anybody bought considering they've all seen Rouge tear robots to pieces.) Knuckles agrees to fight Rouge in a black-out tent, where the night vision equipped bat will have an advantage... Which means the people watching live see none of the actual fight! They just hear Knuckles and Rouge tumbling around in the dark, grunting at each other. They could be having rough sex in there, for all we know. Considering Rouge emerges, battered and bruised but feeling confident before collapsing from exhaustion, I'm choosing to believe that is exactly what happened. Honestly, if I had paid an exorbitant ticket price to watch this fight, I'd be asking for a refund. 

Of course, there's a reason "Sonic X" rushes through all of this shit: The episode isn't actually about the fighting tournament. Instead, Emerl holding the Chaos Emerald, going insane, and attacking the city is much more important. Not that this plot point is especially well done either. Emerl's ability to copy fighting techniques is believable enough to make him a match for Knuckles, who is not a master tactician anyway. Yet the machine immediately reducing Station Square to rubble is a little hard to believe. We see buildings devastated and the streets inundated with rubble. One little robot did all that?! Nobody thought to call in the military or anything? Station Square just got destroyed by Perfect Chaos not that long ago, so it really feels like the show seriously inflates Emerl's destructive capabilities in a desperate attempt to make the little guy seem like a serious threat. 

Actually, I'm not sure if the show runners wanted us to take Emerl seriously as a villain or not. Because he's defeated by a pre-schooler. Yes, Cream summons the strength to stand up to her former robotic friend. And she doesn't do it by making a declaration of love or an emotional plea from the heart. It looks like it's going to go in that direction but, nope, Cream just beats the shit out of him. There is no "crayon breaky Willow" speech. Instead, Cream touches on the strategy of having Cheese leap in front of Emerl's face whenever he's ready to copy Cream's ability, interrupting the process. The other characters interpret this as "Emerl can't copy more than one person at a time," even though he did exactly that earlier in the episode. 

It's a pretty ridiculous ending for a number of reasons. Sure, Cream and Cheese destroyed countless Eggman machines in "Sonic Advance 2." But this cartoon has portrayed her as nothing but a harmless, even petulant little child. Having her suddenly swing into action hero mode – defeating a foe in a few minutes that Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge all struggled with – strains believability. I also can't believe that literally no one besides the tiny child thought of disrupting Emerl's scanning abilities before this point. It seems like a fairly obvious solution to me! Or, like, Tails and Chuck could've designed a computer virus and infected Emerl from afar with a drone. Or the government could've just dropped a bomb on him. How are you going to copy a bomb's special move? Anything would've been better than having a cute little bunny punch the murder-bot in the face until he fell into the ocean.

Or, maybe, Emerl's love for Cream could've overpowered whatever ancient mayhem protocol the Chaos Emerald activates. (Rouge crudely wonders if this is the case, by asking if Emerl "likes little girl." I can't tell if that's a pedo joke or just an unfortunate translation choice.) But I don't think this would've been dramatically satisfying either. Because we don't actually care about Cream and Emerl's relationship. Emerl has done almost nothing since being introduced a few episodes ago. His bond with Cream has been talked about more than it's actually been shown. How many scenes have they even had together before this episode? "Sonic Battle: Finale!!" certainly packs in the melodramatic emotion. Emerl cries motor oil as he sinks into the ocean and Cream weeps after he explodes. Yet I have zero emotional investment in these two's relationship, so none of this stuff hits home at all.

There might have been another reason why most of the fight scenes in this episode either occur off-screen or conclude without actual violence: The animator had neither the time, resources, budget, ability, or interest in making the fight scenes look decent. In the back half of the episode, there's far too many scenes of Emerl turning into a spinning tornado and rushing at our heroes. There's in general quite a lot of repetition, frames of people rushing back and forth around their opponent being repeated. A shot later, of Sonic balancing on his toes as he stands at the dock, looks especially shitty. I guess this show isn't like "Dragon Ball Z," when they can just save money in fight scenes by spending three episodes on someone charging up an attack.

By the way, Eggman – who has almost nothing to do in this episode – casually mentions that Emerl is made from ancient technology. This is a callback to the "Sonic Battle" video game, where Emerl was built by some mysterious, long-since-gone civilization. Yet it's definitely pretty sloppy that they mention his origins in an off-hand manner like this instead of, ya know, actually depicting it on-screen. I'm sure, "Sonic" fans being the particularly passionate people they are, that Emerl is someone's favorite character. But I've never thought he was that interesting and this pretty half-assed episode reinforces that belief. After a fun start, the "Sonic Battle" two-parter ends in spectacularly shitty fashion. [4/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.19: Prize Fights

Sonic X, Episode 2.19: Prize Fights

Japanese Title: Sonic Battle: Opening!!

Japanese Air Date: February 8th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: February 19th, 2005

After a bit of build-up, we have finally arrived at the official adaptation of "Sonic Battle." Sort of. "Sonic X" completely abandons the game's plot in favor of its own wacky premise. The government is concerned about Eggman, now out of prison and up to no good. They decide to hold a public martial arts tournament, with Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge all being forced to participate. The prize is an honest-to-god Chaos Emerald. It's all a ploy to lure the mad scientist out into the open. The tournament is opened to the public, with most of Sonic's friends successfully entering into the competition. Much shenanigans ensue. 

In the history of action anime, there's no story more commonplace than the tournament arc. Since so many shonen shows revolve around fighting or competition, it's natural and almost obligatory to include a tournament eventually. It's a simple premise that allows the writers to take it easy for a bit, putting pure plot aside in favor of bouncing colorful characters off of each other. It gives an excuse to let good guys grapple it out or to showcase the skills of supporting characters. It's also often used as filler for this exact same reason. Whether you find this more-fighting, less-story set-up entertaining or tedious is entirely a matter of personal taste. 

"Sonic X," being the show it is, completely refuses to play by the usual rules of the tournament arc. Instead of showcasing popular "Sonic" cast members, like the Chaotix or Shadow, most of the fights are made up of random side characters. Was anyone begging to see Sam Speed and Mr. Stewart fight it out? Characters I had forgotten about, like Lucky and Hawk, are reintroduced here. Unsurprisingly, this show plays this premise less for action and more for absurdist comedy. Many of the fights are totally farcical. Ella chases Big the Cat around the ring, a scene so silly even 4Kids decided it had to be cut. Sam gets disqualified for tackling Mr. Stewart before the bell rings. Bocoe and Decoe are ready to have an epic judo match when the cops show up and declare them wanted fugitives. 

The show lacks so much commitment to the fight-driven premise that most of the showdowns end with someone nonviolently conceding. Ella refuses to fight Emerl. Mr. Tanaka charms Topaz into surrendering with some jewelry. (Which is bullshit, as we all know Topaz only has eyes for Rouge.) Rouge rings-out Tails by stunning him with a peck on the cheek. Chuck doesn't even get a chance to fight Lucky, because his back goes out while training. Which is pretty funny. In fact, I laughed a lot during this episode. Such as when everyone plays on an otherwise uninterested Knuckles' fragile masculine ego to convince him to enter the competition, essentially guilting him into fighting. Or when Amy debates whether it's right for a young lady like her to show-off her violent side before absolutely annihilating Bokkun with her hammer. 

Of course, I really have to question how any of this is legal. There doesn't seem to be any rules determining who could enter this tournament, or what equipment they could use. Looking at the contestants, you could've potentially had ordinary citizens – including an elderly man or a rotund middle-age woman – fighting against alien superheroes or robots. One of the contestants wears a full suit of armor and Amy uses her hammer, while everyone else is unarmed. Was there any guidelines preventing someone from just bringing a machine gun into the ring and gunning down their opponent? And then we have to consider that several of the fighters are literal children. Having someone like Tails – a fox from another planet with various special abilities – fight an adult like Hawk is one thing. But forcing Chris and Danny, grade schoolers, to wrestle for the public's entertainment or Chris to grapple his own father is unethical, at best, and completely sadistic at worst. 

Yeah, that's right, Chris fights his own dad here. The show plays the match-up for comedy, obviously. Chris defeats his father in minutes and largely off-screen, seemingly pinning him with a leg lock. I suspect Nelson let the boy win. Yet I can't help but imagine how this match-up will further exacerbate the kid's growing Daddy Issues. You can easily imagine him, years later, telling a therapist about the time it sure seemed like his dad was willing to beat his ass in front of millions of people. Then again, Chris' psychological issues are already manifesting. He tricks Danny by acting like he's unwilling to fight a friend, before pinning the other boy quickly. Later, Chris confesses to Sonic that he's tired of being perceived as a child and a "good kid." Obviously, Chris' abandonment issues have left him unable to trust people and questioning his own identity. He's a good thing he's rich and will be able to afford the years of therapy it's going to take to unravel all this shit. 

There are certain political ramifications to consider here, as well. And I'm not even talking about the U.S. government sponsoring a prepubescent fight club in an elaborate, poorly thought out scheme to catch a wanted fugitive. The very first match of the tournament features the President of the United States boxing a regular citizen. Absolutely any outcome to this scenario is going to be a P.R. disaster. Since the President is a doughy old white guy in boxing gloves and trunks and his opponent is someone wearing a suit of medieval armor, Christina Cooper throws in the towel before the leader of the free world is beaten to death. Such a display of cowardice and weakness is definitely not going to play well in the red states! I'm just going to assume President Michael K. is a Republican, because I sure as fuck can't imagine a Democrat ever stripping down and stepping into the ring for some fisticuffs. He's pretty annoyed that he doesn't get to fight. Which seems all too probable in a post-Trump world, where childish macho dumb-assery was a regular event in the Oval Office. (By the way, the Black Knight – nary a flesh wound in sight – turns out to be someone with a personal grudge against the President. I feel like the Secret Service wouldn't have allowed any of this to happen!)

Man, I'm trying to imagine the intense disappointment seven-year-old "Sonic" fans watching this for the first time in 2005 must have felt. The premise makes it seem like we're going to get awesome brawls between Sonic and Knuckles. Instead, the only fight that isn't a massive joke is Tails flailing Hawk, a fat guy with a salad bowl haircut, around the ring. I can see why the U.S. dub didn't include the "Sonic Battle" connection that's in the Japanese title. Not only is this nothing like the game but Gemerl does very little in this episode. The robot continues to have no personality at all and the show has done little of the work needed to make us invested in its bond with Cream. 

The only thing here that I can imagine really pleasing fans is some more gratuitous SonAmy ship-teasing. Sonic and Amy are scheduled to fight. Both are obviously reluctant to do anything and debate how this is going to go... Before Eggman swoops in, fires a laser, and Sonic saves Amy's life. He leaps after the villain, leaving the ring and forfeiting the match. Amy, of course, takes all of this as a sign of the hedgehog's undying love for her. It plays off the opening scene, where she was going through some existential angst over whether or not Sonic would ever acknowledge his feelings for her. The "X" version of Sonic definitely has feelings for Amy but her increasingly maudlin obsession with him is starting to get tiring. Can she go back to being crazy? That's more fun. 

This is definitely a very dumb episode of "Sonic X" but it's so weird and messed-up that I still really enjoyed it. The combination of Japan's surreal sense of humor and these cutesy characters has led to so much unexpected shit. I hope the rest of this story arc is just as demented as this episode was. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 48

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 48

Publication Date: February 23rd, 2022

We are dangerously close to the fiftieth issue of IDW's "Sonic the Hedgehog," showing that the quote-unquote new "Sonic" comic may at least have some of the legs of the old one. (Though we'll see if this book is still running in nineteen years.) While the Archie series was doing a four-parter at this point that was originally meant to act as the series finale, IDW's "Sonic" is playing things a little more loosely. There's obviously some sort of master plan and presumably the events of the "Imposter Syndrome" mini-series will play a role. But the main book is devoting an issue to some side characters and mostly playing it for laughs. I guess Flynn and Evan Stanley have different ideas about what makes an anniversary issue than, uh, Ken Penders.

There's no actual title seemingly listed for this issue's story but Jon Grey's (still overly busy but admittedly not hideous) film noir inspired cover features the words "Chaotix Confidential Presents... Villains with Filthy Faces." So I'm going with that. Anyway, we begin with Vector and Espio retrieving Charmy from the KTBR radio station for some reason. Nite the DJ gives them a tip that Central City is experiencing all sorts of electrical disruptions. The Chaotix investigate and soon come across... Rough and Tumble, who are smuggling weapons for Clutch the Opossum. 

It's a running joke throughout the "Sonic" franchise at this point that the Chaotix are not the best detectives. They were depicted as complete nincompoops in "Sonic X." The Archie comics had them getting results more through blind luck than actual detective-ing, while never getting paid for their work. This is inspired by their similar constant lack-of-funds in the games. The IDW comic, meanwhile, has made the bold decision to depict the Chaotix as... Fairly competent? This version of Vector has repeatedly been shown to be a reasonable leader and strategist and even an empathetic listener. Here, he actually asks appropriate questions of witnesses, follows clues, and is cool under pressure. Espio successfully sneaks into Clutch's warehouse later and even Charmy proves useful.

Now, the Chaotix are still not great detectives. A degree of luck is definitely still a factor in this story. The only reason they're able to track down Clutch's waterfront base of operation is because Tumble drops the piece of crate containing the address. The heroes never actually find the villains responsible for the power outages, instead uncovering a totally unrelated criminal operation. Yet compared to the completely farcical depiction in "Sonic X," this is a pretty big step-up. I would consider hiring these guys to, I don't know, hunt down my adulterous lover or whatever it is private investigators actually do in real life. 

Despite all of that, I would still characterize this as a light-hearted issue. And a pretty funny one too. Charmy's status as the team's kid produces a couple of chuckles. Such as the way he immediately falls asleep in Vector's arms after enthusiastically co-hosting a radio show all night. Later, he's even drawn in a bumblebee stripped booster seat, which is adorable. The direct way the trio deals with traffic or the eccentrics that come out when they start asking questions are amusing. There's some amusing banter between the heroes, especially when slinking around the sewers. The funniest moment occurs when Rough and Tumble's traditional pre-battle rhymes prompts Vector to counter with his own rap, which brings out the music critic in the bigger skunk. 

Evan Stanley has shown that cute dialogue is a strength if her's, so I'm not surprised it's a highlight here. Another trademark of hers is an interest in expanding the comic's supporting cast. This issue features the return of some minor players. Nite the Owl and Don the Rooster show up at the beginning mostly because it's clear the writer just wanted to include them. Meanwhile, Clutch the Possum officially graduates from Chao-abusing asshole to crime boss. We find out he used to be a weapons smuggler and is eager to get back into the game. He opens fire on Espio and nearly outsmarts the Chaotix at one point. Considering the obvious care that was taken with his design, I'm not surprised Clutch returned. I'm happy to see the comic's rogue gallery expand a little more. 

Comedy and light-hearted character interaction is, I think, the main goal of this issue. But that doesn't mean there isn't some decent action here too. Instead of just piling on the fisticuffs, the way some recent issues have, this one nicely builds to a big action sequence. The rumble kicks off with Clutch nearly shooting Espio with his nifty cane gun. Vector burst down the door and grapples with the skunks, using his fists and tail. The way the crocodile defeats the villain's plan is nicely direct too. Everyone involved definitely had some fun designing these action scenes.

They're well-drawn too. Aaron Hammerstrom provides the pencils this time and he continues to distinguish himself as one of the best artists IDW has on this series. Those action scenes are really dynamic, with a real sense of motion as Vector and the others take swings at each other. There's also some nicely moody panels. While chasing after him in the sewer, Rough is mostly depicted as a shadowy silhouette, which is a nice touch. Reggie Graham did the colors and they deserve a lot of credit too. The panel of the Chaotix approaching the docks at sundown is beautifully. 

Of course, Surge and Kit never actually appearing in this issue does bring with it a minor problem. Starline's master plan is still playing out and, the closer we get to the end of that particular plot, the more underwhelmed I am by it. Surge and Kit's big acts of villainy are to... Cause traffic jams? Damage the city's electric grid? These are, no doubt, criminal acts. But I would say the effect on people is more inconvenient than full-on life threatening. I'm increasingly feeling like the hype behind the Imposters was misplaced. Aside from starting that forest fire, I've been pretty underwhelmed by their actions as bad guys thus far. None of this is the fault of Evan Stanley's writing and instead speaks to my problems with the IDW comic's overall approach to its post-Zombot world. 

I think the real reason I really liked this issue is because of how well-paced it is. It quickly sucks us in, keeps the story rolling along at a fast rate, features some twists, an exciting climax, and wraps everything up within the span of one issue. I can't remember the last time a regular installment of this book — not one of the specials — told such a complete story in one issue. They should do this more often! "Chaotix Confidential" or "Villains With Filthy Faces" or whatever you want to call it is overall a delightful read. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.18: Sewer Search

Sonic X, Episode 2.18: Sewer Search

Japanese Title: The Ridiculous Epic Spy Operation

Japanese Air Date: February 1st, 2004

U.S. Air Date: February 12th, 2005

"Sonic X" continues to be in a goofy mood with the eighteenth episode of season two. The President is concerned about Eggman having escaped prison. He sends Rouge and Topaz on a special mission to find him. Mr. Stewart has also been deployed on this mission. Chris and his friends randomly meet Cream, Cheese, and Emerl at school. Upon seeing Mr. Stewart, all the kids decide to follow him around. The group soon stumbled across Eggman, who is literally buying books in a used book store. They follow him to his sewer lair and shenanigans ensue. Meanwhile, Chuck assigns Sonic to go find Chris, who didn't arrive at school today. 

Yes, this has to rank among the sillier episodes of this very silly television program. I guess it technically moves the overall plot forward: Emerl continues to lurk around in the background, the show periodically reminding us of his ability to copy special moves. All in preparation of that forthcoming "Sonic Battles" adaptation. It's also established that Eggman has set up a new base below the streets of Station Square, like he's a Ninja Turtle or something. Also, that he's planning some new evil deed. But otherwise, this is a loose, screwball installment devoted to the characters shirking responsibilities and going on wacky adventures that have little impact on the rest of the series. 

The thing that is most amusing about this episode is the reveal that... Mr. Stewart is actually a good spy? Let me explain. The kids come across their former teacher pressing a stethoscope to a tree. He suspects Bocoe and Decoe are hiding inside, which seems ridiculous. Except he's totally right. Later, he uses the same device to uncover the location of Eggman's new hideout. When he's captured by the bad guy, and they dump his briefcase full of spy shit on the floor, Eggman dismisses it. Surely, nobody as unassuming and buffoonish as this guy could be an actual intelligence agent. Being unassuming and unsuspected are, in fact, the qualities that make a good spy. (And not so much transforming robot cars, though he has one of those too.) Mr. Stewart is still kind of a dumb-ass — he drives his car down a flight of stairs and imperils the children in his backseat — but in this show's goofy world, he's still pretty good at his job. 

Another thing I like about this episode is that there are multiple scenes of characters just hanging out together and being silly. After Stewart's hideous compact car turns into a boat and cruises into the sewers, a lizard jumps into the backseat. This freaks out Danny, who has an apparent phobia of all things creepy and crawly. Helen thinks the lizard is cool though. In fact, she loves animals like that and is even seen, in flashback, cuddling a spiny caterpillar. He insists that's weird, she fires back that he's unmanly, and I come away thinking both of these kids are more interesting than I previously did. I like it when characters, especially children, are given specific personality quirks. 

This is also an episode strangely fixated on desserts. Maybe because most of it takes place in a sewer, which presumably stinks of human feces. After an extensive recap of the last episode, we are greeted to a very serious scene of the President giving Rouge and Topaz their mission. This comically contrasts with Rouge and Topaz deciding to, instead, spend the afternoon at a fancy restaurant, enjoying some gourmet ice cream. Later, multiple characters tempt and confuse Bokkun by mentioning Ella's apple pie and strawberry cake. Later, the heroes catch the explosion-obsessed robot in their house, eating said desserts. Maybe Ella is just really chill when someone asks to cook for them, maybe she distracted herself from being worried about Chris by baking, or maybe Bokkun threatened to blow her up if she didn't serve him. 

Even though it's a light-hearted episode that isn't that important to the lore, TMS still decided to include some of that super smooth action animation they occasionally toss our way. After successfully making it though one giant gate, Eggman attacks Chris and friends with the Egg Spider. That's a giant arachnid-themed mech of his. Sonic appears just in time to fight the machine. We are then treated to some nice shots of the hedgehog running towards the machine, spin-dashing some limbs, and head butting it. It looks great. I wish the whole show looked this good. 

Despite the spiffy animation, it's notable that Sonic does almost nothing in this episode. He spends most of it off-screen, aimlessly running the city in search of Chris. Immediately after attacking the Egg Spider, he's pinned to the wall. Maybe his most notable action occurs in flashback, when Chris asks himself what he thinks of Eggman and Sonic says he doesn't care. Rouge saves him and it's up to Emerl to finish off Eggman's newest weapon. Again, I just think it's funny that the first season depicted Sonic as this neigh unstoppable hero that could bulldoze pretty much any of Eggman's robots, unless they were powered by a Chaos Emerald. Season two, meanwhile, has shown him repeatedly getting defeated by far less powerful threats. Has Eggman gotten better or is Sonic just worn out? Or is the show just trying to convince us that Emerl is a total bad-ass and sacrificing Sonic's skill level for it? You decide! 

Anyway, it's a pretty dumb episode. After defeating Eggman, everyone just leaves his new lair without exploring further. But I still enjoyed this because, I guess, I'm wrapped up in this show's stupid sense of humor. I did not expect "Sonic X" to be endearingly quirky but here we are. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.17: Mean Machines

Sonic X, Episode 2.17: Mean Machines

Japanese Title: Huge Home Electronics Panic!

Japanese Air Date: January 25th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: February 5th, 2005

"Sonic X" continues to explore the impact our blue hedgehog has on earthly society in "Mean Machines." Sonic's popularity has inspired people to copy his carefree attitude. This has led to fewer people working in the Thorndyke electronic factories, leading to shoddier products, and more customer complaints. In order to supplant the lack of workers, the Thorndyke corporation is relying more on prison slave labor. Eggman has been personally repairing hundreds of broken appliances... And also adding microchips to them that make them evil robots that attack their owners. Sonic and his friends must save the hapless population from these household appliances that have been programmed to kill.

Yes, this episode presents the unlikely scenario that Sonic, somehow, has inspired a labor shortage. I get Sonic inspiring people to copy his hair cut, as we see at the Sonic festival in the first scene, or inspiring a jogging fad, as we saw in the last episode. But people still have to work, ya know. We still need money to survive. Most humans cannot afford to laze around in their roofs all day. Unlike Sonic, they do not have a billionaire benefactor taking care of them. The entire subplot raises far too many questions for this cartoon show to answer. 

But this is a children's cartoon that reinforces a very conservative, and very Japanese, moral. This episode just runs with the idea that fewer workers will mean less satisfactory products coming from factories, which makes no sense. Complaints pile up on top of Nelson Thorndyke's desk — as if the billionaire CEO of a corporation would handle that stuff personally — but when he hears Chris has the flu, he immediately vacates his office. (Leaving the real work to his underlings, which is extremely realistic.) He picks up Lindsey from a film set via his private helicopter, and she also abandons her job without a moment's notice to take care of her sick child. 

Yet when Chuck Thorndyke hears about his son leaving his job suddenly, he scolds him. He tells him to get his lazy billionaire ass back to work! The happy ending of the episode occurs when Nelson decides to personally help end the crisis. Funny enough, Lindsey is never chastised for leaving her job suddenly. That's because "Sonic X" reflects Japan's work obsessed, sexist culture that believes retirement is a moral failing and women should stay at home and take care of the babies. At the end of the episode, Nelson is overjoyed because all the appliances being destroyed means people will just buy new ones from him. Everyone laughs. It's a win for corporate greed! None of this shit has any business being in a cartoon about Sonic, hero of the proletariat, but I don't write the cartoons, guys. I just review 'em.

My favorite thing about the stupid, fucked-up moral to this episode is it mostly reveals how childish and dysfunctional the Thorndykes are as a family. When Chuck is ranting at his son and daughter-in-law, he calls them "idiots" and tells them to "grow up." He says he's "setting a bad example" for Chris by leaving work and then calls him his "stupid son." Nelson says his father used to also ditch work to be with his kid and Chuck tells his son to stop bringing up the past. Ah, the old "do as I say, not as I do" defense. Nelson's dad then blames his corporation's recent troubles on his son's laziness, once again linking work with morality. Everyone else just has to awkwardly stand back and watch while Nelson and Chuck scream at each other. This tidal wave of Daddy Issues climaxes with Chris telling his father he hates him and for everyone to leave him alone. Before any of this, Chris begged Ella not to bother his father with his cold, as if he could foresee this shit storm happening. I just love how this light-hearted children's show presents the deep-rooted psychological problems of its characters as if it's normal and not worthy of further comment. 

Contrasting with this subplot that blames work-related inconvenience on "laziness" is Eggman's scheme. All of this was unintentional but it's kind of funny that Eggman, contrived into unpaid labor on behalf of a billion-dollar megacorp, devises a plot that sees household appliances trying to destroy the people who own them. Ya know, definitely kind of fitting that an abused worker would use the very system that enslaves him to strike back. That appliances, symbolic workers, are rising against the people that bought and own them. Eggman then gets busted out of prison by Bokkun, just waltzing straight out of this horrendously unethical situation. What I'm saying is Eggman is the hero of this episode. 

I might be overanalyzing the unintentional and probably non-existent political subtext of this episode because it's actual content leaves me with little to talk about. The sequences of Sonic and friends fighting cartoonish, evil appliances with silly red eyes are pretty lame. This is not the best animated episode of "Sonic X" and the action scenes are fairly inert. Eggman didn't water-proof any of his appliances, so a splash from a water hose is enough to defeat them. It's like Sonic got dropped into a less cool version of "Maximum Overdrive." This episode definitely would've been improved by our hedgehog blowing up a Green Goblin truck with a rocket launcher. And, presumably because some people will demand replacements instead of just buying new ones, who's going to fix the appliances Eggman made evil and Sonic destroyed? More prison slave labor? Probably.

Anyway, uh, what about Emerl? Yeah, he's still here. It's established that he's living with the Thorndykes now and that his robotic memory has been wiped. But his ability to copy special moves just by looking at them, his game play gimmick from "Sonic Battles," is maintained. I guess this show does deserve some points for doing standalone episodes but still building up an on-going in the margins like this. Also, the opening scene features brief appearances from Cucky, Pecky and Ricky (the closest we're ever going to get to Sally Acorn appearing in a Japanese “Sonic” cartoon), suggesting some of the animal life from Sonic's world made the leap to Earth along with that big chunk of land. 

Also also, this episode features an excess of heaving bosoms. Nelson's secretary wears a low-cut blouse under her suit jacket. The movie Lindsey is filming has her riding a motorcycle while wearing a skin tight leather catsuit, with the zipper pulled down low. That sequence is the best animated in the episode. There's also a shot of scantily clad babes with Sonic haircuts in the first scene. (Which just makes them look like Ryoko.) Only that last moment was deemed excessive enough to get cut from the 4Kids dub. I guess it's no surprise that the "Sonic" cartoon that gave Rouge her animated debut would be enamored of great big titties. Anyway, this is a dumbass episode that still massively entertained me for reasons that are almost totally besides the point. [7/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.16: A Date to Forget

Sonic X, Episode 2.16: A Date to Forget

Japanese Title: Amy's Love Escape Journey

Japanese Air Date: January 18th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: January 29th, 2005

Translating from another language into English is tricky. English is full of weird idioms and grammatical rules that don't make sense in other languages and the reverse is also true. Sometimes, a literal translation is awkward or weird. I take the Japanese titles for the "Sonic X" episodes from the Sonic News Network wiki. They list this one's original title as "Amy's Love Escape Journey," a string of words that doesn't quite make sense. IMDb adds an incredulous interrobang at the end of the title, making it seem like a befuddled statement. Some other source lists this episode's Japanese title as "Amy Love's Escape." When combined with the punctuation, that forms a semi-coherent sentence that means "Amy, your love has escaped." Which sort of explains the plot of this episode. Unless the meaning is meant to be closer to "The Escape of Love Belonging to Amy Rose," which isn't quite as clear. All of this is probably why I'm just going to use the English dub title, "A Date to Forget." 

Anyway, enough rambling. This episode begins with Amy in a violent rage at Sonic. They had a date this morning and the blue hedgehog stood her up. Sam Speed also arrives at the Thorndyke mansion, saying he also had an appointment to race with Sonic. After Amy gets over her annoyance with Sonic for making two appointments in the same day, her and Sam go in search of the hedgehog. The reason Sonic is a no-show is because he's fighting Bokkun and a new Eggman robot named Emerl, all part of a plot the doctor is directing from his jail cell.

"Sonic Adventure" and "Sonic Adventure 2" are obviously important titles in the history of Sega video games. Flagship releases for the Dreamcast, they also loom prominently in Sonic lore. It makes sense that "Sonic X" would adapt those. But what about "Sonic Battle," an attempt by Sonic Team to do a "Super Smash Bros." clone for the Game Boy Advance? It would probably be a forgotten title if, ya know, "Sonic" fans weren't obsessive weirdos that remember everything. The real reason this often overlooked title got a "Sonic X" adaptation is presumably because it was brand new at the time and Sega was eager to promote the latest release. Gotta love that corporate synergy!

While this episode is notable for introducing Emerl, "Sonic Battle's" sole contribution to series lore, it's not really what "A Date to Forget" is about. Instead, this is another episode designed to tease SonAmy shippers. As Sam and Amy go on their journey to find Sonic, Amy encounters a country store owner whose grandson was saved by Sonic. Amy realizes that Sonic, as a superhero, has a responsibility to the world, which may prevent him from ever having a normal love life. Of course, this goes out the window at the very end, as the final scene reveals Sonic really did forget about his date with Amy. So either he's a hero or an insensitive D-bag, your choice. 

This does not change the fact that Amy's actions in this episode are a bit, well, unreasonable. This episode begins with Amy storming into the Thorndyke living room in a fiery rage. Okay, I get that. Being stood up sucks. Next, she grabs Chris by the throat, pulls out her hammer, and threatens to beat him unless Sonic appears. Holy shit! That's some Alex Forrest behavior there. Amy doesn't go through with it but even threatening to physically beat a child a death is pretty fucked-up. Ya know, I would recommend removing Amy from the household because of that! The episode plays this for humor and I laughed but that's because I can't believe this show included such an inappropriate, dark gag and not because I find child abuse hilarious. I promise. Poor Chris has another thing to talk about with his therapist now... Shit like this does not help the perception that Amy's fixation on Sonic is unhinged. 

While a whole episode devoted to Amy's bunny boiler antics would be pretty entertaining, that is not the focus is "A Date to Forget." Instead, the majority of the runtime sees Amy and Sam Speed getting into all sorts of shenanigans. He's a man on a road trip, so he naturally refuses to ask for directions. This has him driving his super fast transforming car to varied locations, like the desert and a farm occupied by realistically drawn sheep. This story arc ends with Amy and Sam stopping the weird street locomotive Eggman has built to bust him out of prison. But most of this episode is devoted to Sam Speed being an idiot and Amy being frustrated with him. It's not the best comedic set-up, is what I'm getting at here.

As is pretty typical of "Sonic X's" goofy filler episodes, the title character really only appears in the action scenes. Here, Bokkun straps Emerl into an old-time-y tank. They chase Sonic through the abandoned warehouse district. They fire oversized shells at him, which the hedgehog dodges via some goofy, possibly "Matrix"-inspired slow-mo moves. Eventually, the tank starts to toss exploding television monitors at Sonic, cause that's Bokkun thing, I guess. It's pretty underwhelming, as far as action scenes go. I'm not sure why this simple tank seems to give Sonic so much trouble, when he's singlehandedly devastated much larger robots without even breaking a sweat before. 

Other elements of the episode's comedy work better for me. Following his failed coup in the last episode, Eggman, Bocoe, and Decoe are all in prison. They wear stripy prison uniforms and harass a guard until he gives them more stew from a filthy bucket he carries around. Decoe and Bocoe also prefer prison to living with Eggman, which is also amusing. Eggman is humiliated pretty frequently in this cartoon but it's funny to see him so degraded here. (This also explains that one issue of the Archie "Sonic X" comic, where the bad guys were in prison inexplicably. See, it's making sense now!)

This one ends with Cream discovering a terrified, traumatized Emerl, so presumably he'll have more to do in the next one. It's a pretty dumb episode but Amy threatening to kill Chris and Eggman begging for gruel made me laugh enough for it to earn a [6/10.] I never said I was consistent, you guys. 

Sonic X, Episode 2.15: Eggman for President

Sonic X, Episode 2.15: Eggman for President

Japanese Title: Give Us Back the Light!!!

Japanese Air Date: January 11th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: January 22nd, 2005

The so-called Egg Moon saga concludes with "Eggman for President." (Whose Japanese title has been translated as both "We Can See the Light" and "Give Us Back the Light!!!") Sonic continues to destroy the towers that cause Eggman's Sunshine Balls to work. Meanwhile, a violent pro-Eggman crowd surrounds the White House, putting some pressure on the President. Some random people convince Knuckles to go punch out Sonic. After a brief fight, they talk things out and Sonic reveals the obvious reason Eggman is full of shit. Sonic and Chris go to rescue the President while Knuckles, Rouge, Topaz and Mr. Tanaka fly into space to put the Egg Moon back into its proper orbit.

I didn't bring this up in the last review, because I was too busy reading too much into other aspects of the episode, but the entire Egg Moon plot really makes no sense. The moon and Earth are not stationary. They constantly rotate in orbit around the sun. If the Egg Moon is perpetually blocking out sunlight, that means it's perpetually moving as well. This is second grade science but Sonic is apparently the only individual on Earth to realize this. That's why he's destroying Eggman's "mirror towers." I just chalked it up to him naturally not trusting the villain but I'm glad our hedgehog hero logic-ed that shit out. And I'm disappointed that science literacy is so bad on the "Sonic X" version of Earth that nobody else thought about this obvious fact. 

But maybe this obvious gap in basic science on the public's behalf doesn't matter. Over the course of this episode, we also discover why the public fell so totally in love with Eggman: It turns out the Sunshine Balls generate a subliminal message, telling people to adore and trust Eggman. This still doesn't explain why everyone, including the President, trusted him in the first place. Nor does it address why Sonic is the only person on Earth to consider basic science in this scenario. Honestly, if Eggman had that kind of technology up his sleeves, there were probably easier, more effective ways to deploy it. But I guess it at least explains the mob mentality that is evident in this episode and the last one.

It also seems that Eggman's mass mind control is not perfect. It showed up a little bit in the last episode and takes up a major part of this one: Chris Thorndyke is feeling a lot of angst over this situation. Chris is so obsessed with Sonic that the blue hedgehog is practically his religion. To see his hero acting in a way he doesn't understand, to feel doubts about Sonic's actions, causes the boy to spiral into existential despair. He chastises himself repeatedly for doubting Sonic at all. The kid talks it out with Tails and Amy, who are apparently immune to Eggman's mind control. He concludes he likes Sonic — this show's emphasis, not mine — and that trumps all other fears he feels. Once again, Chris Thorndyke is more compelling, not as a cutesy kid sidekick or an audience surrogate, but as a desperately sad child who is so lonely and without emotional support that his fixation on a blue hedgehog is the only thing keeping him going most days.

Anyway, enough psycho-babble. Remember when I was reviewing the early days of the Archie comic? How the book found seemingly any excuse possible to force Sonic and Knuckles into a fight? This episode does something similar. A bunch of people on the street walk up to Knuckles — why is Knuckles shirking his noble duty as guardian of the Master Emerald anyway? — and talk him into fighting Sonic. Knux is only a little bit reluctant to wail on his friend, suggesting it wouldn't take a lot to convince him to fight Sonic for any reason. The only thing that's really interesting about this subplot — since the action scenes feature some very mediocre animation — is that Knuckles and Sonic seem much more equally matched in this fight than prior ones, much to Sonic's surprise. 

If it wasn't apparent by now, there's way too much shit going in in this episode. In addition to all of the above, Topaz and Rouge are also floating around this story. Rouge's super-sensitive bat-hearing causes her to notice Eggman's subliminal signal before anyone else does, something that probably should've happened sooner. After Eggman reveals his scheme, he takes the President and his cabinet hostage. The episode, up to this point, was largely focused on Sonic fighting G.U.N. machines and Knuckles. We suddenly shift to Sonic and the gang rescuing the President.. By crashing the X-Tornado into the White House and then field-goal kicking Eggman into the middle distance. (Mr. Stewart also randomly appears at some point during all of this, replacing the President with a balloon.) 

The story then abruptly shifts again to Mr. Tanaka, Topaz, Knuckles and Rouge piloting a space shuttle up to the moon. You'd think traveling to the moon would be a much bigger deal than this but the episode just keeps on rolling. Knuckles then jumps into space, without any sort of suit on, and punches the moon so hard, it stops blocking the sun. 

You'd think that would be the end, right? But it's not. A truly baffling sequence, that has Eggman running around and following signs held by the heroes while answering basic questions, concludes the episode. After answering a question wrong, what I think is a giant metal pan of some sort falls on his head. Is this some sort of Japanese cultural reference, a shout-out to one of those goofy game shows Americans love to make fun that, that just sails over the heads of us Americans? Or is this show just being lulz r@ndum again? Either way, it is a suitably befuddling ending to an episode that included enough material for about six different stories. 

Sorry this review degraded into me simply describing every dumbass thing that happened in this episode. "Eggman for President" is "Sonic X" in that kind of mood. While I appreciate this show's goofier moments, sometimes the scripts just feel hopelessly half-baked. This one is definitely an example of that, an episode that makes up for its shaky ideas by just shoving in as many wacky events as the showrunners could think of. There's diminished returns on zaniness and this one sure as fuck hits the limit. [5/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.14: Sunblock Solution

Sonic X, Episode 2.14: Sunblock Solution

Japanese Title: Eggman Corporation

Japanese Air Date: January 4th, 2004

U.S. Air Date: December 18th, 2004

Welcome back to Hedgehogs Can't Swim's coverage of "Sonic X!" This episode begins with the Thorndykes and the Sonic team celebrating New Years on a yacht. Which is some real rich people shit. (And also suggests that this show robbed us of a Christmas special.) The group is aghast when the sun doesn't rise. The moon, half-mechanized following Eggman's actions last episode, has changed orbit and is now permanently blocking out the sun. Eggman insists he's not at fault and even promises the government and the world that he'll solve the problem. His solution involves a year of costly repairs and, in the meantime, metal spheres that generate sunlight... Which he sells for a profit. Sonic is obviously suspicious of this plan and strikes back at Eggman, which causes the public to turn against the blue hedgehog.

Probably the biggest question this episode raises in me is: Why does the U.S. government trust Eggman? The show is treating him like he turned over a new leaf last episode when he rebuilt half the moon. Yet this known terrorist who has attempted to conquer the world multiple times — and recently unleashed a giant monster on a major city, surely generating billions of dollars in damages and ending thousands of lives — has done little to convince anyone he's good now. He hasn't spent time in jail. He hasn't even issued a public apology! Yet all it takes is a proclamation to the President that he didn't do it this time (even though he obviously did) for the government, and seemingly all of America and the rest of the world, to decide to trust this villain. 

I mean, if Eggman began to secretly work with the U.S., like a Nazi rocket scientist after World War II, that would at least make sense. Instead, everyone just immediately decides Eggman must be good now and goes along with his obviously evil plan. How evil is his plan? Eggman essentially finds a way, in this episode, to privatize the sun. He siphons off sunlight from his personal satellite and sends it all over the globe via generators he sells himself. Even though this is obviously an elaborate and definitely illegal get-rich scheme, the public eats it up. Eggman's Sunshine Balls (lol) become immediate bestsellers. This episode sees Eggman becoming the worst type of villain of all: A capitalist. And aside from a brief scene of Station Square's poor population protesting, most people don't seem to have a problem with it. 

Of course, all of this raises a pretty prominent question in my mind: Um, does electricity not exist in this world? I'm pretty sure it does. What service does Eggman's sweaty, glowing balls provide that regular electric lights don't? Characters throughout this episode repeatedly talk about how the balls' light feels just like sunshine... But, for all intents and purposes, they function just like a regular lightbulb. They don't bathe the world in Vitamin C rich solar energy. They just illuminate the immediate area. I fail to see how this makes Eggman some great savior. I'm definitely overthinking it but I feel like even a small child could see the pretty big hole in this plot. 

Of course, this totally absurd plot exists to set up the episode's main purpose: The public suddenly perceiving Sonic as the menace and Eggman as the hero. The hedgehog, who has no actual dialogue in this episode, recognizes an evil plan when he sees one and speeds off to destroy Eggman's generators. This makes the formally beloved blue hero seem like he wants the world to suffer in darkness though, so the whims of the public immediately turn against him. The public being so finicky and having such a short memory seems unlikely but, if the last two years has taught me nothing else, it's that a lot of people are fucking stupid. 

As dumb as the plot is, I'm always up for a decent switcharoo premise, where the good guys are bad and the bad guys are good. The scenes of an angry mob raiding the Thorndyke mansion as revenge against Sonic — and Amy and Chuck debating whether it's okay for her to beat the shit out of people — is funny. So is the scene where Rouge reminds the President that Sonic isn't an official U.S. employee but merely a free agent whose goals lined up with the government's plans in the past. This continues to establish Sonic as an ultimately anti-authoritarian hero — he fights cops again in this episode — who doesn't even care what the president says. 

Part of what makes this completely ridiculous story easier to swallow is how it's presented. This episode represents "Sonic X" in one of its silly moods, which was probably needed after the fairly serious adaptations of the two "Sonic Adventure" games. "Sunblock Solution" is full of surreal, fourth wall breaking gags. Since Eggman is now accepted as a hero and Sonic as a menace, the villain decides he's just going to take over the whole show. The episode ends with him presenting a new title — "Dr. Eggman X!" — and logo to the audience. There's also some totally inexplicable gags, like Bokkun playing a stirring solo on a shamisen, which inspires Bocoe and Decoe to start speaking Chinese for some reason. (The former joke was cut out of the English dub, because 4Kids thinks American children are too stupid to understand what surrealism is.)

Oh yeah, this episode also debuts a new ending theme. After twenty-six episodes featuring the sappy "The Shining Road," we're introduced to "T.O.P." And it's pretty bad! It comes from Japanese/Korean hip-hop duo KP. I don't know anything about the quality of Japanese rap music but this is not a great first exposure to it. The rhymes seem awkward and rushed, the performers making up for their lack of proper flow by just shouting loudly. The rock style backing track seems out-of-sync with the rapping. The quality of the end themes definitely have gone down every time they change. The accompanying animation is kind of neat though. It depicts Sonic going from a vague outline, to a line drawing, to fully animated by the end. 

Anyway, "Sunblock Solution" is definitely a dumb episode but I still managed to have some fun with it. "Sonic X" is only tedious when it turns away from its goofball side. The show usually finds a way to catch me off-guard with its offbeat humor, even when the script really leaves a lot to be desired, like it does here. [6/10]

Sonic X, Episode 2.13: Defective Detectives

Sonic X, Episode 2.13: Defective Detectives

Original Japanese Title: The Chaotix Detective Agency

Japanese Air Date: December 28th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: December 11th, 2004

When "Knuckles' Chaotix" was released in 1995, it attempted to give Knuckles the Echidna his own supporting cast of characters, presumably to make him a mascot on equal footing with Sonic. This didn't exactly work, because "Knuckles' Chaotix" came out on the 32X, a console that nobody owned. Knuckles' team of heroes — Vector, Charmy, Espio, a rescue from an obscure arcade game, and two random robots — quickly faded into obscurity. Because the game cast was still small at the time, the Archie "Sonic" comics would quickly introduce the Chaotix to their four color world. There, they became beloved members of the cast who stuck around in semi-prominent roles for years.

Even though it defines the series for me, most "Sonic" fans didn't read the Archie comics. For most "Sonic" fans, the Chaotix were obscure footnotes from a forgotten game. (Assuming the fans knew about the Chaotix at all.) This is probably why, when Sega decided to reintroduce the Chaotix in 2003's "Sonic Heroes," they completely redesigned the characters. The team was cut down to just a trio, Mighty and the robots being cast into the void. In addiction to radically different designs, Vector, Espio, and Charmy received one-note, defining characteristics. Vector was now the big doofy comic relief. Espio was now a ninja, for some reason. Charmy became a small, annoying, child. The trio were now private detectives that operated independently from Knuckles. 

These choices were very different from the versions of the Chaotix that existed in the Archie comics, where they all had distinct (if not complex) personalities. For most fans, the "Sonic Heroes" version of the Chaotix are the only version they've ever known. And this always bugged me, as I much preferred the less gimmicky takes on the characters that had existed in the comics for a solid decade by this point. Despite that, the new Sega Chaotix became the defining versions and the comic eventually made several awkward retcons to bring their Chaotix more in-line with their video game counterparts. 

What is the point of this rambling introduction? Because episode 39 of "Sonic X" would introduce the new Chaotix to the world, debuting on television two days before "Sonic Heroes'" Japanese release date. In this episode, random Chaos Control events are teleporting more creatures from Sonic's world to Earth. This includes the Chaotix and some random Flickies. The Chaotix quickly resume their latest assignment, which is to locate Cream on the behalf of her mother, Vanilla. (Who, we soon learn, is also on Earth.) Shenanigans ensue. Meanwhile, Eggman decides to replace the half of the moon he blew up with robotic parts. 

If you're wondering why random people, animals, and animal-people are suddenly appearing on Earth, don't get too curious. No attempt is made to explain these events. We can only assume it's some sort of lingering after-effect of Sonic and Shadow Chaos Controlling the ARK out of the upper atmosphere. If this is eventually explained, I apologize to the "Sonic X" writing staff. But I kind of suspect this happened because Sega demanded they put the Chaotix and Vanilla in the cartoon and they didn't care how they did it. But it is sort of neat that the "Sonic 3D Blast" Flickies appear for a cameo. I appreciated that. 

Truthfully, the most notable thing about this episode is, once again, "Sonic X's" bizarre sense of humor. Their introductory scene — which has the roughshod pacing of a rocket-sled — features a number of fourth wall breaking gags. Charmy presents a DVD of "Sonic X" to Vector and Espio. At first, I assumed this was a disc of news footage or something. But, no, it's clips from the actual cartoon you're watching. After that reality bending moment, the Chaotix introduce themselves directly to the audience... But Charmy is cut-off mid-sentence, as the show flashes to his data card, which features a confused look on his face. Later, the detectives make reference to a scene transition and the episode ends with Eggman promising he'll reveal all next week. I guess, when this show isn't in its more serious moments, you just have to accept that these characters know what cartoon they're in. 

The fourth wall breaching jokes are far from the only oddball humor here. The Chaotix don't know what a DVD is and, after attempting to shove the disc into a projector, Espio has to shoplift a DVD player from an electronics store. This is not the ninja's only humiliation, as he's later clobbered in the head accidentally by Amy while cloaked. By fat the strangest scene has Vector dressing up as Detective Conan — a reference it took me a minute to understand, because nobody in America cares about Detective Conan — and Columbo. (Which seems like an especially arbitrary reference until you remember the Japanese fucking love Columbo.) The Chaotix don't take up all the weirdo humor, as there's also an extended scene of Rouge flirting with Knuckles by asking if he wants her to live with him. Rouge, stop being a ho and teasing that poor virgin! You're giving him false hope. 

This episode is so thick with shtick that the actual dramatic elements feel like afterthoughts. The series is pushing towards this idea that conflict will inevitably arise between the visitors from Sonic's world and humanity. Chris, the President, and Eggman (and Rouge, in the dub) all reference it. Considering the real world would've had all the furries round up in concentration camps by this point, especially following Shadow's rampage, I think the cartoon President is handling this potential crisis pretty well. I genuinely don't know if the show is going somewhere with this plot point or if it's just filling time. This certainly takes up more screen time than Cream being reunited with her mother, which is ostensibly the emotional core of the episode considering how much Cream has whined about her mom. Their reunion is shoved into the back half of the episode.

As for the business of Eggman replacing half of the moon with robotics, I'm really surprised the U.S. government just lets him do that. They even see the rocket launch from his former island base — wasn't that destroyed? — and proceed to do nothing about. Exhibit 1056 for why the U.S. government is incompetent! But I guess the moon doesn't really belong to us, does it? I was sort of hoping the half-moon in the sky would just be a bit of continuity throughout the rest of the series, like "CHA" always being on the surface of the moon in "The Tick." Presumably, the next episode will focus on that business more.

Anyway, this is not likely to rank among my favorite episode of "Sonic X" but it has just enough weird shit in it for me to be entertained. We can always count on this cartoon to do something unexpected and odd. (We can also count on it not to feature Sonic that much, as the titular hedgehog is only in two scenes, I think. He's always so busy running around and doing things that are more important than starring in his own cartoon!) [6/10]