Scientifically Accurate: Sonic the Hedgehog

Scientifically Accurate: Sonic the Hedgehog

Original Air Date: July 28th, 2014

Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block has been around for so long now that it's hard to remember what a risky idea it must have seemed like at the time. Adult centric comedy cartoons airing late at night on cable was a well-established idea by then, with "South Park" being the obvious progenitor, but few channels had successfully copied it. Meanwhile, Cartoon Network's sole foray into older skewing animation was "Space Ghost: Coast to Coast," a deliberately cheap and surreal program that charmed many viewers exactly because it gave such a clear feeling of stoned dudes fucking around. Adult Swim was built on equally cheap and far more surreal shows from the same creative team. Somehow, it not only worked but became a massive success, changing the direction for Cartoon Network as a corporate entity and influencing a lot of other companies to try similar things. Absurdist riffs on forty year old Hanna Barbera shows and Dadaist programs about slacker fast food items with limited animation paved the way for critically acclaimed programs like "The Venture Bros.," Tim Heidecker's anti-comedy empire, and the monstrously popular "Rick and Morty."

And to think, that success was mostly built on the back of reruns of "Family Guy" and "Futurama." That a rival channel has managed to create a cable ratings juggernaut with repeats of their shows must have stung Fox Network execs badly. "The Simpsons" has been premiering new episodes on Sunday nights as long as I can remember. Over the years, Fox has tried to use the iconic sitcom as the anchor for a whole block of funny, edgy cartoons for grown-ups called Animation Domination. It's mostly been made up of "The Simpsons," Seth MacFarlane's various creations, and "Bob's Burgers" for years with a bunch of other shows nobody cares about filling the remaining slots. In 2013, no doubt spurned on by Adult Swim's success, Fox would expand Animation Domination into a late night Saturday block filled with even edgier, weirder cartoons. It was dubbed Animation Domination HD, often abbreviated to ADHD with a snicker, back when that condition was more associated with hyperactive children and not a debilitating mental illness ruining the lives of everyone on the internet, present company included. ADHD debuted with much hype, promoting itself as an equally cutting edge but less cynical alternative to Adult Swim. The block was spearheaded by former William Streets creators, this declaration striking me as a somewhat bitter potshot at their previous employers. ADHD wouldn't only be a TV block either but had a big budget YouTube channel too, that also received a prominent advertising push.

Like most of the desperate shit Fox has tried over the years, Animation Domination HD was a commercial failure. While an adaptation of meme-tastic web comic "Axe Cop" received some minor acclaim, the rest of ADHD's programming landed with a wet thud. A year later, Fox had already given up on the Saturday night block and shuffled any lingering shows off to obscure sister network FXX. All of the ADHD shows would go in the dumper with the dozens of other failed Fox originals. The YouTube channel, however, would be a little more successful. Made up of little shorts and music videos that aired as interstitials on Saturday nights, ADHD would limp on as a modestly successful YouTube brand until 2016, outliving the TV block by almost three years. The biggest hit on the channel was a reoccurring series called "Scientifically Accurate," in which the theme songs of old cartoon shows and the like would be rewritten to include verified biological facts about the animals or subject matters of these shows. In other words: The "Scientifically Accurate" shorts were parodies of old theme songs that any Gen-Xer or Millennial would recognize, that included a lot of gross-out humor and crude factoids about animal genitalia. The most popular installment spoofed "DuckTales" and focused on the horrifying sex lives and organ shapes of Scrooge McDuck's real life counterparts.

Being a well known piece of "Hey, remember that thing?!" nineties kids nostalgia, it was probably only a matter of time before ADHD mocked the "Sonic the Hedgehog" franchise. In 2014, Sega was only just beginning to redefine their star series after years of notorious flops, so the blue hedgehog was still an easy target. The inevitable "Scientifically Accurate: Sonic the Hedgehog" short released in July of 2014. Though set to the melody of the "SatAM" theme song, the video mostly parodies the classic video games. It contrasts the cutesy aesthetic of the "Sonic" series with semi-realistic takes on the characters and – as you might have guessed, from the juvenile comedy approach of the entire series – a prominent focus on poop and gore. It includes an entire verse about anointing, mentions filial cannibalism, and concludes by describing the echidna's unique four-headed penis.

One can definitely argue about the value of gross-out humor such as this. The entire joke of the "Scientifically Accurate" series is contrasting the cute, innocent, defanged visuals and melodies of retro cartoons with the grotesque realities of science and biology. No, a hedgehog and a fox would not be friends in real life. A fox would eat a hedgehog. Yes, real animals get sick, die, poop, sometimes do weird stuff with that poop, have unusual mating habits or equipment, and occasionally freak the fuck out and eat their own babies for seemingly no reason. Pointing out that the natural world is freaky as shit when compared to the Disney-ified version of wildlife we all grew up with is, I guess, as valid a joke as any. The "Scientifically Accurate" series – and, indeed, most of ADHD's YouTube offerings – relief upon the humor of saying something crude, gross, or weird to get an easy laugh out of people. Some have suggested that a fixation on this style of comedy might be one of the main things that keeps American "adult" animation from reaching the same creative heights as cartoons from other countries. When combined with eighties and nineties nostalgia, another thing the internet is obsessed with, you can clearly see how these animated shorts were designed to go viral. Especially in the slightly edgier version of the internet that existed fourteen years ago.

In theory, I actually have no problem with pee-pee poo-poo jokes, a liberal use of fucking swearing, or a fixation on bizarre sexual practices. I mean, have you read this blog? It's kind of one of the main things I do. At the same time, simply throwing a pile of dookie on-screen or drawing a big boner on Raphael is not a fool-proof technique to make me laugh. There's a reason they say comedy is all in timing. A well orchestrated, perfectly paced deployment of gosh darn profanity or some eyebrow wiggling naughtiness is different than merely screaming the word "Penis!" to the heavens. "Scientifically Accurate Sonic the Hedgehog" obviously falls more on the latter side of things than the former. However, I'll admit, this cartoon does make me reliably chuckle. The cartoon depiction of Sonic as both a semi-realistic hedgehog that is still blue and runs fast is a decent gag. Watching him then pop out perfectly shaped little curls of feces while running along a colorful half-pike or making a ungry look at his own offspring is mildly amusing. Similarly, showing a quasi-realistic Knuckles fail to do the things we associate with Knuckles is a decent gag. It's not high-brow humor or anything, obviously. By the standards of a three minute internet gag video, I feel I get the appropriate amount of frivolity out of it.

The fact that such a ribald approach is being taken to the "Sonic the Hedgehog" cast certainly has some novelty. I'm not used to seeing this particular series being referenced by relatively mainstream comedy writers such as these. When that does happen, it's usually a very surface-level reading of the series. "Scientifically Accurate Sonic" has some of that, in terms of pulling most of its imagery from the original Genesis games. However, there are signs here that this was made by people with a slightly deeper knowledge of the franchise. First off, that the novelty is taken from the "SatAM" theme is a big indicator. You don't see that cartoon referenced much outside of pre-existing niches of the fandom, this animation going so far as to spoof specific moments from the "SatAM" intro. Such as Sonic speeding through a tunnel of trees at the very beginning or the title being accompanied by a swirl of spotlights. (In this case, originating out of Knuckles' freakishly four-headed dick hole. Again, because that's the kind of cartoon this is.)

Moreover, there's a verse here that talks about how "Sonic's got a lot of pals." In a quick montage, we see Scientifically Accurate-ified versions of Blaze, Rouge, Cream and... Flying Frog! Now, I have no doubt about the process that led to this extremely obscure character exclusive to the Archie "Sonic" comics popping up in this cartoon. The next line talks about how "foxes eat hedgehogs," a joke the writers of this cartoon with the premise of displaying real facts about the animals from the "Sonic" series obviously had to make. They needed a rhyme that fit and probably simply Googled "Sonic the Hedgehog frog character" in order to find such an example. That certainly strikes me as far more likely than the people behind this thing being passionate fans of a regularly overlooked comic book. If that was the case, the "Scientifically Accurate" writers would know that Flying Frog is not a pal of Sonic's but rather an enemy. Not an especially prominent enemy either but one with a smattering of appearances across the comic's twenty year history that had actually been written out of continuity by the time this cartoon debuted on YouTube.

Nevertheless, a D-lister as D-list-y as Flying Frog showing up alongside well known members of the "Sonic" supporting cast, made by people totally outside of the fandom and official Sega-approved channels, makes this stupid joke cartoon highly notable to me. I recalled when it debuted, watching it and being so stunned at what I saw that I had to backtrack and rewatch that moment a few times to be sure of it. This is as close as we've gotten to, like, Julie-Su showing up on "Robot Chicken" or something. I definitely recall seeing comments under the video baffled as to who the hell this frog guy is, clearly made by inferior plebeians on a less deeply autistic level of nerdom than me. This is the only time I know of when an Archie "Sonic" exclusive character has appeared in some other media, meaning this is the sole time some other person has nodded at this dumb thing I've been obsessed with my whole life. Emotions like this is why I liked "I Saw the TV Glow" so much while also being a cis man.

Is this, in fact, the entire reason I felt the need to write so many words about a gross, perhaps mildly offensive, cartoon mocking the "Sonic" franchise that I doubt many other people have thought about in the last decade and a half, connected to an obscure flop of a programming block that probably made less of an impact on the wider culture than the average rerun of "King of the Hill" that aired the same night? Uhhhh... I don't wanna talk about it. Anyway, I'm sure there are other parodies of "Sonic" from sketch comedy shows of the same notability as this particular one. I probably won't write about any of those, unless they randomly include a reference to Sleuth Doggy Dawg or someone like that. As for "Scientifically Accurate: Sonic the Hedgehog," I think about it at least once a month and also it's mildly funny. [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Knuckles' 30th Anniversary Special

Sonic the Hedgehog: Knuckles' 30th Anniversary Special

Publication Date: November 20th, 2024

 

While Sega seems to have tentatively discarded the idea that "Classic" Sonic and "Modern" Sonic are alternate universe versions of the same character that exists in different dimensions, the fact of the matter is that the Classic/Modern divide still functionally exists. Classic Sonic stars in retro-style platformers. Modern Sonic takes hits of the ol' Boost Formula. Classic Sonic has a big head and a diminutive body. Modern Sonic has lankier limbs and a more elongated torso. Most pressingly, it would seem that some characters remain locked behind the Classic Era curtain. It might technically be all one timeline now but, as of this writing, cast members like Mighty, Ray, Fang, Bark and Bean remain isolated to the retro titles while the likes of Shadow, Rouge, Silver, and the rest are confined to the post-millennium style of games. 

This extends to the comics as well. IDW continues to periodically publish one-shots or mini-series utilizing the Classic designs, drawing from the Genesis era and modern spin-offs like "Mania" and "Superstars." There's a definite separation between these stories and the on-going comic, much more entrenched in the current wave of games. (Though the comics still seem to exist in some weird extended grey zone between the events of "Sonic Forces" and "Sonic Frontiers," according to the nerds way too invested in continuity.) It will presumably remain this way until Sega says "fuck it" and let's Flynn sneak Bean into the main book or randomly drops Mighty into a PS5 title. From a commercial perspective, I suppose this makes sense. Golden oldies like me prefer the Classic style while those ten or twenty years younger than me have grown up with the newer stuff. It remains frustrating from a storytelling perspective, that the jerboa bounty hunter or super-strong armadillo ostensibly exists in the same world as Emo Sonic and Bat Tits but they'll never interact for some reason. 

By which I mean it's time for another Classic Sonic style anniversary one-shot. Thirty years ago, Knuckles the Echidna smashed his way into our lives, informing a whole generation of kids that egg laying, spiny "anteaters" exist in Australia. Happy birthday, Knuckles. You are middle-aged now. How's your back holding up? Characters like Tails and Amy feel like they've always existed, filling the stock roles of the sidekick and the love interest. Knuckles is the first time I can remember Sega treating the introduction of a new "Sonic" cast member as an event. He was both a friend and a foe, whose truces with Sonic always seemed to exist on unstable ground. That has changed a lot over the years and Sega has used much of the same marketing techniques every subsequent time they've debuted a new character. A slow path from enemy to ally, a mysterious past, so on and so forth. But Knuckles remains special to me, the first of Sonic's "friendly rivals" and probably my favorite of the franchise's Big Three. 

So how did IDW celebrate Knuckles existing for three decades? The story begins with the echidna. standing by his precious Master Emerald and thinking in very ego-centric terms about his success as a Guardian. This is when Angel Island passes over the Northstar Islands, otherwise known as the setting for "Sonic Superstars." Knuckles gets to thinking about Trip the Sungazer and how she's a guardian, much like him. He stops into the island and decides he's going to train the young lizard girl how to be tough and strong. That's when he discovers that he and Trip live very different lives: She has a community, a village, a family of critters like her and this has molded her into a very different type of guardian than himself. Conflict, of a sort, arises. 

Knuckles is a character of contradictions. He is both rather cunning and very gullible, a hardened warrior and a naïve kid, a punch-happy bruiser and an introspective loner. Ian Flynn's script for this one-shot digs right into these two-fold attributes. The story begins with Knuckles thinking rather gloriously about himself, bragging about his supposed victories in his memory. Later, it's brought up that the Guardian has actually made a lot of mistakes too, that each of those victories only occurred because he had help from his friends. By story's end, he's gone from being tough with Trip to treating her with a lot more empathy. In other words, the echidna gets an actual arc here, starting out believing something else and ending having learned a lesson. This plays into the idea of Knuckles as someone capable of abrasive bluntness that can also grow and learn humility and kindness. 

Sonic has almost always had a sidekick, Tails debuting early enough in the franchise's history that he's practically been there from the beginning. With Knuckles, Sega has always emphasized his status as the last echidna, a perpetual loner. The comics have attempted over the years to give him his own sidekick, usually in the form of Charmy Bee, but it's never stuck. It remains to be seen if IDW will run with this idea, much less if Sega will feel the need to incorporate it into their games, but this one-shot decides to pair Knuckles up with Trip the Stargazer. This thrusts Knux into a new role, that of a mentor to a young, inexperienced hero. That Trip is a little kid and prone to big emotions challenges Knuckles' punch-first-and-ask-questions-later attitude. He learns a lesson that we all have to learn at some point: True strength does not come from your muscles or how hard you can hit. Trip is strong in different ways from Knuckles, capable of things he is not. This forces Knuckles to consider that his ways are not always the best, that he has flaws too. In the final set of pages, Flynn employs the cliché of the Master becoming the student, the mentor learning something from his ward in the course of teaching them. It's earned though and makes for a nicely emotional resolution. 

Trip the Sungazer is still a recent addition to the "Sonic" lore. This is only her second appearance in a comic, outside of a cameo in the digital-only Fang story that was published to promote "Superstars," and her first appearance ever in the IDW universe. She's essentially a blank slate, this comic functioning as basically the first chance for the series to expand on her personality. Trip is clearly derivative of other "Sonic" characters. Her arc in "Superstars" was very similar to Knuckles' in "Sonic 3," as a guardian of a MacGuffin who is fooled by Eggman into fighting against Sonic. She's very feminine, much like Amy Rose, and also young and vulnerable, like Cream. It remains to be seen if Trip will be able to evolve into her own distinct character. Or if Sega will allow IDW to use her more. Either way, I found her to be really adorable here. She's clumsy and eager to please, with big glittery eyes and a tendency towards crying. I don't think Trip fills some essential role in the cast but I do like her. She makes a good impression here and I hope we see her more. 

Pairing Trip up with Knuckles is a good idea and their interactions provide the best parts of this comic. The two are similar but different in a lot of ways too. That Trip has a family, a community of folks like her, strikes the isolated Knuckles as a very meaningful change. He tries his tougher-than-leather routine on Trip but it only ends up making both of them look like fools. Generally speaking, I think the contrasts between these two and their situations simply makes for a meaningful, well realized story. We get many cute, minor interactions like Trip pointing out that it's hard for her to see in her armor. Or her grandfather telling her not to give into her self-doubts. The climax of the story is an emotional one, Knuckles admitting Trip that maybe he's not the best teacher. These two make for a smart pairing. If Trip becomes the Tails to Knuckles' Sonic, that would be a useful and interesting placement for her in the cast. 

While reviewing the IDW Annual for this year, I noted that the one-shots seem to be when the comic can focus on character-driven stories, outside the on-going plots of the main book. That is so very true of this story, which doesn't actually feature any major action at all. I kept waiting for Eggman to show up with an evil robot, for Knuckles and Trip to do some Badniks smashing together. That ends up not being necessary for the story to work, the script pulling tension and resolution simply from the two's relationship. The only editorially-mandated action scenes we get in this issue are in the training Knuckles and Trip undergo. That mostly results in largely comedic scenes of Knuckles trying to pummel the kid and getting his toes smashed by her extra hard armor. In the back half, we get a nice montage of the two running through some ancient ruins, which gives a chance to show off some of Trip's unique abilities and expands on her own lore too. I can't resist the charms of a good training montage, so I thoroughly enjoyed these moments. 

Obviously, being a fairly new addition to the cast, Trip still has the most expansion to undergo. The addition of her village, something we didn't see in the video games, and the idea that her armor is hundreds of years old ate decent ways to add more personality to her background. Ultimately though, this is Knuckles' story and he is central to my favorite scene here. The first few pages, that show Knuckles bragging about his past victories, seems to favor the modern, Flanderized take on the echidna, as a big strong idiot with an inflated sense of himself. However, later flashbacks show that Knuckles' stubbornness and commitment to his own duty is, in fact, a positive element of his personality. We see him showing Amy how to throw a boulder smashing blow. Or standing outside Tails' tent during a thunderstorm, keeping the kid safe. This presents the idea that Knuckles may be a bit of a blowhard, maybe kind of dumb, taking himself way too seriously... But that's part of his charm too. These attributes also mean he's protective, strong, and committed to his ethical beliefs. All good things to be! I like that better than playing his gullibility for laughs. (Though this issue does that too, in a self-deprecating manner.) 

It's a good story and it looks good too. Thomas Rothlisberger is back on pencilling duties. His Classic style artwork remains top-of-the-line. He emulates some of Tyson Hesse's quirks that have worked their way into the Classic games. Such as Knuckles making a goofy face when awkwardly hiding his past mistakes. Whenever Trip turns on the big puppy dog eyes, that is extremely well conveyed too. The action scenes aren't merely fluid and dynamic in their movement but the way these guys move also reflect on their personalities. We can see Knuckles' brashness in how he throws a punch, Trip's timidity in how she holds herself. Also, it's funny to see fans embracing the idea of Trip belonging to a town of people the same color and physiology as her... Ya know, the exact same thing Ken Penders did with Knuckles back in the day but everyone hates and derides now. I doubt this will set-up Trip having an elaborate and convoluted destiny of her own but my point is: A little more creativity could have been shown, perhaps, in the designs of the other Stargazers. But the art is aces. Nothing to complain about there.

Some impossible to please fans will probably bitch that this one-shot focuses on Trip nearly as much as it does Knuckles, betraying the promise made in the title and cover art. I'm fine with it though, as the bond he forms with her provides a new angle to explore the guy from. IDW has already announced that they intend to continue the tradition of 30th anniversary specials. Next year will supposedly see the publication of a Chaotix's 30th anniversary one-shot. I wonder if that will acknowledge Mighty, Heavy and Bomb were founding members of that team? Moreover, does this mean we can expect a Big the Cat 30th anniversary comic in five short years? And a Shadow or Rouge centric book two years after that? Good God, now I feel like I might crumble into dust. Anyway, this comic book is good. I enjoyed it and recommend it. Go out and buy a copy today! [7/10]

Sonic Live in Sydney

Sonic Live in Sydney 

Original Release Date: 1997

Nestled into an obscure corner of the United States as a child, I never physically encountered anyone as obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog as me. From time to time, I'd run into somebody familiar with the games or one of the cartoons or, perhaps, another human boy who had read one or two of the comics. However, a friend as absorbed in this world and characters as myself eluded me. This led to me being a very lonely child, without anyone to share my greatest passion with. That's why getting online and discovering the wider "Sonic" fandom later in the nineties was such a revelation to me. My God, they do exist. 

Something else that fascinated me as a boy was amusement parks. Growing up where I did, I never got to visit any of the iconic American theme parks. Disney World, Universal Studios, SeaWorld, Six Flags Magic Mountain: All out of reach. Instead, I had settled for local D.C. area attractions like Hersheypark – where you can enjoy all the chocolate and slave labor themed rides of your dreams – and Paramount King's Dominion, where you could visit Stan Mikita's Donuts from "Wayne's World." Maybe Busch's Gardens, if you could drive a little further and wanted to watch your Dad get wasted and puke his guts out on the Loch Ness Monster. To my youthful eyes, such humble attractions still filled me with wonder. To my little kid brain, a theme park devoted to a topic was a sure sign that it had saturated the cultural zeitgeist. Which wasn't wrong, I suppose, since theme parks are really expensive. Getting to walk around a whole world devoted to a niche topic was a dream come true. You could trick yourself into thinking Cinderella's Castle or King Kong were real and you somehow breached the membrane between dull, horrible reality and wondrous, fantastical fiction. 

The point I'm making is... If kid-me had known there was a "Sonic the Hedgehog" themed amusement park somewhere in the world, I would have started saving all my pennies right then and there. I doubt I could have found Sydney, Australia on the globe but hearing that it was home to a mythical SegaWorld would have put the city on the map far more than any fancy opera house could. Maybe it's for the best I didn't learn about SegaWorld Sydney until long after its closure. By all accounts, it was a pretty mediocre amusement park, which is likely why it died after less than four years. Despite that, I have become fascinated with Sega World Sydney post-mortem as maybe the most hubristic example of Sega's oversized ambitions in the nineties. Or maybe it's because Sega World was the only place on Earth – outside of some disreputable Discord servers – where Princess Sally was treated with as much reverence as she was in my brain.

Sega World Sydney didn't have any bitchin' roller coasters, elaborate stunt shows, or world-class dining. But you know what it did have? A "Sonic the Hedgehog" stage musical! As performed by actors in clunky mascot suits and, later, severely off-model animatronic puppets. Among the dozens of apathetic vacationers who visited Sega World Sydney, none of them ever thought to video tape either version of the stage show. Or, if they did, they've yet to share it on the internet. Actual video footage of these shows remain highly sought-after relics by lost media archivists and obsessive-compulsive "Sonic" hoarders. Until such a recording surfaces, the only evidence we have of this incredibly obscure corner of the "Sonic" universe actually existing are some very unflattering photos of those suits and puppets. 

Except I'm lying. There is more proof that actors were paid to sweat profusely within heavy fur suits every day for an audience of bored children and visibly irritated parents. Yes, a cast recording CD of the first version of "Sonic Live in Sydney" was sold in the park and we do have digitalization of the CD splashed all over the internet. While this particular topic truly stretches the definition of "visual media," seeing as how very little visuals of it still exist, I am including "Sonic Live in Sydney" in my review of miscellaneous "Sonic" media. Because how can I not write entirely too many words about a half-hour production in which Sonic, Sally, and Robotnik express themselves through the power of song and dance? Someone as fascinated with misbegotten extensions of popular media franchises simply couldn't resist. 

Let us get into it, shall we? What is the riveting plot of "Sonic Live in Sydney?" It begins with Sonic, Tails, and Princess Sally aboard what we can presume to be the Tornado. After engine troubles, the trio bail out and land in Australia. Despite seemingly arriving in this area by accident, the three have a reason for visiting the island continent. Robotnik, following a defeat back on Mobius, have set up shop in Sydney with the Chaos Emeralds in tow. He has build his new base on the Sydney Harbor Bridge. A haphazard scheme involving a boot and a freeze ray ends with Sally being kidnapped by the villain. Sonic and Tails work to rescue her, the doctor falls in love with the Princess, some Badniks are there, and it all ends with Sonic saving the bridge from being exploded between musical numbers and half-assed jokes. 

In 1999, with the release of the Dreamcast and "Sonic Adventure," Sega would attempt to reel in all the divergent localizations of the "Sonic" brand across the world and unite it under one vision, which more closely resembled the Japanese interpretation of the character and his world. It was a controversial decision and one I have mixed feelings about. However, "Sonic Live in Sydney" makes a good case for why such a global unification was necessary. The stage musical – or at least what we can gleam from it based on the audio recording – represents a bizarre fusion of the different "Sonic" continues at the time. Sally is there and references are made to the Freedom Fighters, suggesting "SatAM" was a primary influence. (Supposedly, the dining area in the park where the show was performed was also called Knothole Village.) At the same time, Robotnik's design and characterization is based on his less-scary "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" depiction. In fact, the show's tone is far closer to that cartoon than the Saturday morning series, including a moment when Sonic tricks the doctor by wearing an easily-seen-through disguise. Mobius is also mentioned, presented as a planet separate from Earth, while several elements more akin to the early games – Robotnik's generic army of robotic minions known as Badniks, who were formally harmless woodland animals – also appear. It's a bit like the earlier, goofier issues of the Archie Comics series but more disorganized and thrown together in terms of what it did and didn't include. For bonus confusion points, Knuckles is in the cover of the CD and was heavily featured in the park but isn't in this show, presumably because he wasn't a part of "SatAM" or "AoStH."

You could certainly make the case that such a fast-and-loose approach to continuity effected the quality of "Sonic" tie-in products. A lack of oversight gave the impression of a series without much care put into it, that wasn't exactly worried about quality. The best "Sonic" stuff from this decade – "SatAM," the better Archie issues – saw creative people putting their best effort forward anyway. However, examples like most of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" and the weaker Archie issues suggest much more that most people were not that concerned with making anything but easily digested slop for little kids. "Sonic Live in Sydney" definitely falls into the latter category. Truthfully, this might be one of the bigger examples of the creatives simply not giving a shit about what they were making. The plot for this half-hour, Chuck E. Cheese drama is nonsensical, often changing focus and introducing new elements with little pretense. The characters are simply sketched, their identities often changing in-between scenes, such as when Robotnik decides he's in love with Sally. Or in Tails' overall usefulness to the plot. (Sonic describes him as having "Heart," officially making Tails the Ma-Ti of this Planeteers squad.) 

And why would the crew behind such an ephemeral piece of entertainment put much effort into it? It's not like some overly serious dweeb is going to look back at it twenty-seven years later and try to write about it as if it was a serious piece of performance art, right? Nevertheless, trying to make sense of "Sonic Live in Sydney" is not always easy. Robotnik's freeze ray has a number of different properties that vary as the plot needs them too. How exactly the inhabitants got from Mobius to Australia, seemingly in an airplane, is never explained. For that matter, how do Sonic and the others have any knowledge of Australian culture? There's a pun in here about Ugg Boots, to show you how familiar they are with local culture. What exactly Robotnik's goal is changes several times, a love/sleeping potion is introduced haphazardly, and I swear that bomb blowing up the Harbor Bridge wasn't mentioned until the last minute. Also, Sally Acorn is called a marsupial but that's probably because they don't have chipmunks in Australia. I know, I know, this was designed to be watched by visitor stuffing their faces with overpriced pizza and dried out chicken fingers. Why bother putting any effort into it? I probably wouldn't have either. I'm just saying, you can tell.

The thing that always baffled me about shows like this, with a degree of audience participation, is... How exactly does that work? There are several scenes in this stage show where Sonic or someone calls out to the audience to answer a question or cheer or something. Mostly to shout about being in Australia or whatever. I'm sure the people halfway watching this always gave a very enthusiastic response. However, how exactly are the fictional characters aware of being observed? What do they see? What is the status of the Fourth Wall here? What does Dora observe when she talks to the kids in the other side of the TV? Does she, in-universe, have the ability to receive communications from people on another plane if existence? Or is it all performance? Make it make sense, damn it! I'm sorry that writing about this shit makes me sound schizophrenic sometimes. I guess that is an inevitable result of taking half-assed children's media waaaaaay too seriously. 

All of that aside... Is there any entertainment value to be had from "Sonic Live in Sydney?" Admittedly, this is an example of a piece of "Sonic" media so clearly thrown together that I can't help but be charmed a bit by its mere existence. Don't get me wrong, it's absolute garbage, as substantial as the cardboard plates and cups served in the same cafeteria. However, this thing is ultimately too weird for it not to be a little entertaining. As in "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog," you can see the apathetic overhead leading to the writers and directors inserting brief moments that are inappropriate for the little kids. Namely, Sally slapping Robotnik and the villain proclaiming that he likes it. Did Robotnik just admit he's into masochism? In general, the premise of the tubby bad guy – there are a lot of fat jokes here – falling in love with Sally is bizarre. Maybe the writers assumed this must be a Bowser/Princess Peach scenario, where the antagonist has a crush on the good guy's girl. (Who is specifically described as being in love with Sonic, opposed to the more flirtatious relationship the characters usually have.) It's a bit weird is all. 

Then again, considering "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" was clearly the main inspiration for this take on Robotnik, we shouldn't be surprised he's a hopeless romantic and weirdly horny. We don't know the names of a lot of the people responsible for this thing. However, we do have a cast list. Adrian Payne was clearly emulating Long John Baldry, with a conceited and operatic take on the baddie. The result of the voice acting is not so committed. Someone named Tanya Bulmer plays Sally and her accent audibly changes throughout. Sometimes she sounds a bit like a Southern gal, taking that attribute from Bunnie. Other times, her voice is more posh while multiple times the actress' native Australian accent shines through. The same is true of Paula Arundell and Diane Adams, as Sonic and Tails, who often let their Straya slip out. I think Arundell is trying to do a Jaleel White impersonation and... It's energetic, if nothing else. Adams as Tails, however, adapts a shrill and nasally voice that is frankly incredibly annoying. 

But what about those songs, man? Isn't that why we're all here, to marvel at the utterly baffling existence of a "Sonic the Hedgehog" musical? (That isn't "Sonic Underground" anyway.) As you might anticipate, they aren't very good. Did you expect them to be good? "What Are We Waiting For?" is Sonic's big number, in which he rhymes "core" with "core." It's upbeat, I'll say that much. The backing track is strictly Casio-core, which is all the more obvious thanks to bits of the original games' scores being used. As for Robotnik's song, "Give Me Chaos," quickly becomes rather droning and monotonous. It's still better than Sally's big romantic number, "Thank You For Being You." If you watched any underachieving Disney rip-off from this same decade, you'll recognize this same sort of glurgey synth sparkle ballad shit. It's regrettable though not bad enough to be truly offensive, I guess. More generic than anything else.

Out of all the dumb, shitty things I've written about because of this blog, I suppose "Sonic Live in Sydney" is less painful than "The Fight for the Fox Box." It caused me less psychic damage than going through every episode of "Underground" and the songs are, marginally, better. Would I have loved it as a kid? Of course, I would have. Sonic was in it! God, if I had gotten a chance to see Sonic and Sally move around on-stage before my very eyes, five year old me would have vibrated into another dimension from sheer excitement. Would I look back on it with clenched teeth and embarrassment? Oooooh yeah. If a recording of this show emerges from the depths of the internet someday, will I willingly expose myself to it again? We already know the answer to that. It's terrible but, at the same time, "Sonic Live in Sydney" is another example of what weird shit could happen when marketers got ahold of a popular media I.P. Maybe I'll go and watch the "Coming Out of Their Shells" tour next and see if it's more or less painful than this. Well, hoo-roo, mates, this CD left me mad as a cut snake and belongs in the dunny. [4/10]

Wonderman Music Video

Wonderman Music Video 

Original Release Date: March 7th, 1994

When I first started Hedgehogs Can't Swim oh so many years ago, my high-minded aspirations and primary goal were to create a deep exploration of fandom, to figure out why so many people were so obsessed with a little blue hedgehog that ran fast. My secondary goal was to simply gawk at the weirdest fucking corners of this franchise. Maybe that's the reason why "Sonic" fascinates so many. Once you start digging down this rabbit hole, you never stop uncovering bizarre new treasures. Early on, I wanted to start a monthly feature entitled "Weird Sonic Things." The idea was to take a deep dive into the most random-ass content the blue hedgehog has found himself in. Topics ranged from Russian game shows to cameos in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies and strangely prevalent Christian themed fan art. I will hopefully still write about some of these topics eventually but the day-to-day work of writing regular updates has been hard enough for me to maintain that side-projects simply have never materialized. 

However, my latest quest to watch and write my way through miscellaneous visual "Sonic" media has finally brought me to something I've been wanting to talk about for years. One of the first topics I chose when assembling my list of Weird Sonic Things I wanted to talk about. Readers, I implore you... Do you know who Right Said Fred is?

If you are around the same age as me, the answer is almost unquestionably yes. Those born in that sweet spot to be old enough to pay attention to pop culture in the early nineties but not old enough to have real things to worry about will know this English vaguely-electronic pop trio was inescapable for a short while around 1991 and 1992. Not because they were a culture defining talent that had a string of iconic hit songs before their flame was snuffed out early from burning so brightly. No, Right Said Fred scored a stupid novelty hit that essentially became the Harlem Shake of the early nineties. "I'm Too Sexy," an obnoxiously self-aware ode to the preening narcissism of gym culture, was basically an internet meme before internet memes existed. In the pre-online days, dumb gags like this had much longer shelf lives which means the culture at large had plenty of chances to run the joke into the ground. It was referenced everywhere. Overwhelming ubiquity like that would drain the humor and appeal out of anything, no matter the quality. "I'm Too Sexy" does have an insanely catchy melody. Fred Fairbass' monotone vocals do have a weirdly hypnotic quality to them, further supported by the repetitive chant-like structure of the chorus. You could also make the case that Right Said Fred were pioneers, being openly queer performers during a less open time, making a monster hit out of a campy celebration of LGBT+ culture. 

On the other hand, the joke of "Teehee, some guys are really into themselves, yaknowhatImean?" is clever only so many times. The song itself is droning and repetitive, which was only intensified by how inescapable it was for so long. A lot of people also didn't get the joke, taking the song at face value and assuming it was an unironic ode to these bald, buff guys' egos. I suppose the point I'm making is, in isolation, "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred is a perfectly cromulent dumb pop song, worth a chuckle or two. As a widespread Song of the Summer super hit, however, the joke very quickly wore out its welcome. I was four in 1992 and I recall being bored of hearing this thing. 

Why am I talking about this? What does any of this dumbass shit have to do with Sonic the Hedgehog? Well, my friends, come closer and listen intently because now the fun truly starts. Here in the U.S., we had the good sense to dismiss Right Said Fred after one chart-topping hit. "I'm Too Sexy" had a powerful sway on people's imagination but the American public still recognized it as a stupid one-off joke, having no interest in learning any more about these muscly lads from London. In this country, Right Said Fred are the one hit wonder-iest of one hit wonders, never allowed anywhere near the Hot 100 after their sole fluke pop culture phenomena. In their home country, however, the record buying populace put up with these goofballs for a few more songs. "I'm Too Sexy" isn't even technically their biggest hit in the U.K., that honor belonging to whatever the hell this is. But, yes, there was indeed a valid attempt down England's way to make what amounted to a joke band into regular hitmakers. And what better way to extend the life span of one inexplicable pop culture fad then by tying it onto another weird thing that was, briefly, extremely popular around the same time? 

In England, the marketing for Sega's Mega-Drive leaned harder on edgy, juvenile posturing than the Genesis' ads did over here. Such as in the infamous masturbation themed Game Gear ads. While Sonic himself never cracked any jokes about playin' wit y'ur todger, the U.K. version of the hedgehog did carry that distinctly English brand of stiff-upper-lip attitude and campy humor. In the United States, associating a kid-brand like "Sonic" – designed to appeal to the playground version of coolness as much as possible – with the smirking, self-aware humor of the "I'm Too Sexy" guys would have been unthinkable. Sonic doesn't wear a shirt because he's too sexy for it. Sonic doesn't know what sex is! By 1994, when "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" was coming out, Right Said Fred would have been perceived by the hip youths as totally washed-up, clinically uncool has-beens anyway. We were all about the alternative nation and the gangsta rap by that point, baby! But in the U.K., a mash-up of these two nineties relics that had absolutely nothing to do with each other made, perhaps, a little more sense. At least to some galaxy-brained marketing execs. 

Which, finally, brings me to today's topic. If you haven't heard it before, prepare yourselves. May I introduce you to "Wonderman?" No, not everyone's eleventh favorite Avenger. I'm talking about the 1994 hot single from Right Said Fred, off their second album "Sex and Travel," that was chosen to be a promotional single for the U.K. release of "Sonic the Hedgehog 3." Wikipedia goes so far as to describe it as "a song about Sonic the Hedgehog." Really?! Let's investigate further...

First off, no, Wikipedia is lying to you. "Wonderman" is not about Sonic. At least, not the original version. This utterly forgotten dance ditty actually exists in at least two variations. The "Sex and Travel" version is not dissimilar to Right Said Fred's biggest hit. Instead of being an ironic ode to one's own sexiness, written from the perspective of a self-absorbed gym rat, "Wonderman" has the singer looking outward at somehow who actually lives up to such rhapsodizing praise. The titular entity is described as having "deltoids for days," a perfect tan and being at least six feet tall. Despite being "the naked treat in magazines," this Wonderman isn't only a slice of primo beefcake. He has striking eyes, a movie star smile. Moreover, his values match his perfect appearance. He's got new age beliefs, understands that sharing is caring, protects the Earth and opens his heart to black, white, and uh "yellow" humans. In other words, "Wonderman" is a song describing a perfect man, a Nietzschean ubermensch that is both a sculpted specimen and an upstanding individual ready to help the world. 

It's hard to say if Fairbass is describing this wonder man from a point of lust or aspiration, whether he wants to become him or come in him. Either way, these lyrics clearly do not describe our favorite little blue guy. Sonic does love the Earth but his deltoids are not exactly noteworthy. His tan is not appreciated. He's not six feet tall. (Though neither is Tom Cruise, also name-dropped in these lyrics.) I guess he technically is naked but I don't think Electronic Gaming Monthly was the magazine this song is talking about... I have no doubt that many a person feels Sega's mascot as insanely desirable. However, I doubt that was on the minds of Sega of England's marketing execs. Finding myself writing about another extremely obscure corner of pop culture, there are no sources anywhere for why this song was chosen to promote "Sonic 3." We can only speculate on how this came to be. 

If you listen to the album mix of the song, you can almost see the link. The jazzy trumpets that open the song, especially the cute swaying melody they do, do sound like something you'd hear on the Sega Genesis. While the Vogue-able dance beats are not all that Genesis-like, there is an occasional synth wiggle that sounds suitable. The single line about being "a friend of the Earth" certainly aligns with the early "Sonic" media's environmental subtext. However, one suspects that the song was simply chosen to associate the blast processing of the Mega-Drive's newest blockbuster with a source of wonderment and astonishment. Sonic's entire thing, at the time, was being cooler than cool. Perhaps this speedy little rodent could be your Wonderman, Right Said Fred? That's how I imagine it went away. 

As cheeky as the U.K. marketing for Sega products could get, someone obviously realized these lyrics were a little inappropriate for this chosen subject. Credit to the Fairbass bros, their engineers, producers, and everyone else, they completely reworked the song. The beat is a little faster. The jazzy trumpets are gone, replaced with ramping synth sparkles and edgier dance grooves. One assumes this was done to invoke Sonic's speed. Springy sproing noises are inserted throughout, clearly an attempt to bring the pinball-like action of the game to mind. The result makes the song sound more like a gay club dance track though, especially once a falsetto scatting that seems right out of a drag show is introduced in the back half. (Naturally, there is a five minute long version ideal for dance floor revelry, if anyone ever wanted to snort poppers while thinking about Sonic the Hedgehog...)

Most notably, however, is how the lyrics were totally reworked. I don't know if the Freds were simply told to incorporate some marketing buzz words into the new song or if they were genuinely enthusiastic about the subject. Either way, the single version of "Wonderman" rather obviously is about Sonic. The titular subject is "having a blast," as in blast processing. He's "hoggin' the limelight," har har. The lyrics specifically reference Sonic's power sneakers and spin attack, while referring to a sonic boom, attitude, hipness, the color blue, Speedy Gonzalez, and being state of the art. The singers clearly understood the assignment as it were, though comparing Sonic to "an itch you'll scratch again and again" and "Fay Wray's King Kong" – not Jessica Lang or Linda Miller's King Kong, we're talking the original here – I guess what I'm saying is that the song does, indeed, sell the shit out of this hedgehog... Despite the hook being more-or-less unchanged. You'd think, at some point in production, someone would've pointed out that Sonic isn't a Wonderman. He's a hedgehog! But I guess that didn't flow as well. I do like the refrain of comparing our hero to lightning and thunder that is added to the chorus.

As a song, I would rate either version of "Wonderman" as a passable pop ditty. The single mix is bouncier, I think, while the novelty of its topic certainly makes it more interesting than the album cut. The first time I heard "Wonderman," it didn't strike me as an especially inspired song. However, in the years since, the chorus has repeatedly worked its way into my brain at unexpected intervals. The repetition of the title and the showgirl glee the singers repeat it with certainly compel one to say the title to the melody of the song where you think about it. It is catchy, in other words, showing that Right Said Fred actually did have a talent for creating ear worms. Or at least two of them.

But you don't really care about the song, do you? No, no, if it's 1994, you understand as well as the next person that no track is going to become a hit without a music video. After all, it's my dedication to reviewing Sonic-related animation that I used as an excuse to ramble on about this fuckin' thing for two thousand words. Yes, Right Said Fred didn't merely record a song about Sonic the Hedgehog. They made a music video about him too! Let's take this masterpiece in together, shall we? 

Let's deconstruct what we've watched, shall we? Music videos are not beholden to storylines but the best ones at least have a premise of some sort. The "Wonderman" clip seems to frame itself as an interview show of some sort. Right Said Fred, playing the role of conceited and self-absorbed rock stars, are being interviewed when Steven O'Donnell – then the face of Sega of Europe's television commercials – insist it's time to interview a real big star. No, not the bald guys. The blue hedgehog! The rest of the video is set in an industrial water filtration plant, a sign informing us that this is supposedly Hydrocity Zone. The interviewer and his crew muck about, trying to catching up with Sonic while Right Said Fred prance about in fedoras and pinstripe suits, I guess coincidentally making a music video in the exact same location that night. There's other stuff, like the band's heads appearing in a blank void, a big cartoon skull flashing on screen, and plenty of random pyrotechnics. It's a nineties music video, don't think too hard about it. 

Hopefully I didn't disappoint anyone previously unfamiliar with this three minutes and forty seconds of campy joy by giving the impression that we would actually see Sonic the Hedgehog and the "I'm Too Sexy" guys jamming together. The hedgehog does appear in the video but it's via sped-up footage from the game and, yes, a blue streak speeding by. There are multiple point-of-view shots in the video from something zooming around the factory, a red graphical interface overtop the footage. It would seem this is meant to be from Sonic's perspective, making me wonder if director Paul Boyd thought he was a robot or something. Either way, our azure avenger is there. I suppose this was a somewhat clever solution around the obvious fact that a music video in 1995 didn't have the budget to portray flesh and blood humans interacting with a cartoon character. Zeroing in on how Sonic is often shot through winding chutes and tunnels, resulting in lots of footage of interconnecting pipes, was certainly an idea. Right Said Fred clearly didn't have a Michael Jackson budget here, so I'd say they made good use of the resources afforded to them. 

Funny enough, the video itself seems to acknowledge that the band singing this song was old-hat by 1994. The Fairbass brothers play themselves as clueless, drugged out rock wannabes with no substance at all. The video ends with O'Donnell burying a TV playing the interview in an open grave, referring to it as "very, very boring" right as the bald boys quote their most famous single. I don't know if this was an example of the band itself realizing their fifteen minutes were up and clowning around a bit. Or if the idea is simply to suggest that Sonic is much cooler, much more innovative, and far more interesting than the band we are watching being promoted. Though that's kind of funny too, since the "Sonic" franchise would hit the first of its many slumps not too many years after this. The saying is true: One day you're on top and, the next, you're loosing out to fucking Bug as the mascot for the Sega Saturn. 

I don't foresee Right Said Fred having a successful comeback and being the subject of a trilogy of blockbuster movies anytime soon though. "Wonderman" was not exactly a hit. It peaked at number 55 on the U.K. charts. The only other country it charted in was Belgium, where it at least got to number 50. Despite the mediocre chart performance, "Wonderman" was apparently successful enough to be included in the 27th edition of the Now That's What I Call Music compilation series. It appeared alongside such luminaries as Doop, Cappella, and Urban Cookie Collective. Yes, the Doop! Actually, "Wonderman" has the distinction of being one of the lowest charting songs to appear on a Now collection. Which is better than no distinction at all! It also shows up in the 1994 Disney movie, "Blank Check." I haven't seen that in probably thirty years but I think I'd remember if Sonic had a cameo too... 

Needless to say, singing about Sonic the Hedgehog did not raise the band's failing fortunes. The group has continued to put out songs in the years since, releasing seven albums after "Sex and Travel." They've yet to score another hit though, unless you count getting sampled by Taylor Swift and Drake. Most recently, the Fairbass boys have netted some further notoriety by participating in anti-masking and anti-lockdown protests during the COVID-19 pandemic. They are one of the faces of Not Our Future, an organization that Wikipedia describes as an "anti-climate change" activist group but whose website seems more interested in raging against the World Health Organization, "identity politics," and something they call "the Blob." What is it about being briefly successful pop singers in the nineties that turn people into weirdos in the modern day? 

Despite whatever questionable politics the band may promote now, "Wonderman" remains a bop. Having listen to the song and watched the video about a dozen times in the process of writing this, I can now proudly say that it's the second most Right Said Fred song I can name off the top of my head. Did I need to devote so many words to this topic? Haha, you fool, I don't need to do anything! Anyway, thanks for reading this stupid bullshit. I'll only write about other Sonic-adjacent music videos in the future if they are as funny as this one.

Sonic the Animation

Sonic the Animation 

Man of the Year

Original Release Date: 1994?

Sonic the Hedgehog was always intended to be an animation star. From the beginning, Sega planned him as a multi-media franchise, much the way Nintendo had turned Mario from a simple set of pixels in "Donkey Kong" to one of the most recognizable characters in all of pop culture. This is inherent in the hedgehog's design, which is inspired by classic "rubber hose" cartoon icons like Mickey Mouse and Felix the Cat. By the release of the third game, this prophecy had already been fulfilled, Sonic starring in two animated series produced for American television with many more having followed. This means, when you say the words "Sonic the Animation," any number of programs come to mind first. However, that phrase also refers to something very specific, which happens to be the topic of today's rambling dissertation...

During the peak of their profitability, Sega wasn't only in the video game business. The company, after all, has its earliest origins as a producer of slot machines, jukeboxes, pinball games, photo booths, and other coin-operated frivolity. This creates the mental image of walking down a boardwalk occupied with any number of Sega branded entertainment. The company's long-held interests in arcades led to the creation of many company operated "amusement arcades" known as Sega Worlds. These locations were so popular during the nineties that Sega expanded out into a chain of indoor amusement parks known as Joypolis. Most of these parks – such as the notorious Sega World Sydney – would close during the arcade implosion of the early 2000s. However, I was surprised to read that four Joypolises are currently still in operation: Two in Japan and one in China. Once again, Asia gets all the cool shit. 

Obviously, Sega would not enter into such a venture without making room for their mascot character. Most of the Sonic themed attractions were found at the now defunct Qingdao location, probably owing to the blue hedgehog being more popular internationally than in Japan. However, the character has remained a stable presence in these various parks. An exact release date is hard to locate but, as the earliest mention I can find is from 1994, I'm going to say that is when a short, Sonic-themed cartoon started screening exclusively at Joypolis and Sega World locations. This animation would reach a far wider audience upon its inclusion as a bonus in the 1997 Sega Saturn game, "Sonic Jam." The is the "Sonic the Animation" I'm talking about today. Since that is such a non-specific title, the short is usually referred to as "Sonic: Man of the Year" by fans. Excuse me if I slip up and call it that during this review. 

The premise is simple enough. Outside of a sprawling metropolis occupied with seemingly normal humans, Eggman resides on his island base of operations. (Perhaps taking a cue from "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog," the laboratory is decorated by a large gold statue of the man with one arm in the air.) The doctor's morning ritual of reading the newspaper is soured when he sees the top story: Sonic has been awarded the honor of "Man of the Year" by city officials, despite obviously being a hedgehog. Enraged, the villain quickly creates a scheme to ruin the hedgehog's good reputation. He puts on a crude Sonic disguise, straps some rocket skates to his feet, and embarks on a campaign of mischief around the city. This works, the public quickly turning on Sonic. Upon discovering this, our hero is glued into Eggman being behind the scheme by the villain's distinctive laugh. That's where "Sonic the Animation" ends, promising that this story will be continued. Considering it's been somewhere in the area of thirty years since this cartoon's release and no second part has arrived, we should probably stop expecting that. 

The first thing you'll probably notice about "Man of the Year" is the quality of its animation. The short was produced by the studio that would become TMS in time, years before "Sonic X" was a twinkle in anyone's eye. Giving the budget probably usually afford to a full length cartoon to crank out a two minute short instead results in some lovely visuals. The animation is fluid and lively. The brief sequences devoted to Sonic zipping along the sides of buildings or Eggman blasting around on his rocket skates have the kind of speed and force of impact that, well, "Sonic" animation always should have and almost never does. Considering this was probably a glorified tech demo or sizzle reel, there's some flashy 1994 graphics too. By which I mean, all the environments in the short are CGI while the characters are traditional cel animation. Maybe it's my nostalgia for the nineties "Spider-Man" cartoon talking here but I find this art style – brightly color cartoon characters moving around on big, blocky, shiny, Windows '95 screensaver images – incredibly charming and appealing. There's some neat touches in the environment too, such as Eggman's office chair being patterned after a chicken. I guess because chickens lay eggs? It all looks so interesting, yesterday's version of cutting edge like the finned rocket ships in a "Flash Gordon" comic strip. 

Another element about the animation is immediately apparent. TMS is probably best known for their work in the Japanese animation industry. However, around the same time this short was done, the company was where some of the animation for American cartoons like "Animaniacs" and "Tiny Toon Adventures" was being outsourced. Since "Sonic" was always meant to appeal to American sensibilities, that means a lot of "Man of the Year" looks like an episode of an especially good Fox Kids Saturday morning cartoon show. I still find it weird whenever Sonic has to interact with regular people... However, the decision here to have him standing among what easily could've been background extras from "Freakzoid" makes that awkwardness a little easier to swallow. The people are exaggerated and, at times, grotesque. As in the close-ups of some weird looking kids with tomatoes thrown into their mouths. Still, these minor designs have a personality to their appearances that make them memorable. Such as the news reporter with the big Jay Leno chin. Or the dark skinned, short haired babe in a sweater we see in one scene that, I'm pretty sure, popped up in a few panels during "Worlds Collide." If you are a little younger or older than me, it's entirely possible you'll have no built-in affection for animation of this style and won't be able to appreciate these things beyond the level of them looking good. However, there's definitely something satisfying about seeing Sonic and Eggman brought to life in the style of a big budget 90s American cartoon show. Probably the closest we'll get to seeing what a feature length, traditionally animated "Sonic" movie might have looked like. 

That "Sonic the Animation" looks so much like a Warner Bros cartoon of the same vintage is fitting. Tonally, the short is most comparable to a Roadrunner & Coyote or Tom & Jerry installment. Like those animated adversaries, there's no dialogue traded between Sonic and Eggman as they are locked in their slapstick war against each other. The two are rendered as silent figures whose oversized emotions are evident entirely through their big, goofy, cartoon movements. Coming on the heels of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" – which, everyone surely will feel the need to point out, TMS also animated a few episodes of – this is a mood that definitely fits these two characters. Honestly, I'm surprised more "Sonic" media hasn't run with the idea of Eggman being Wile Coyote, always trying to get ahead with fancy gimmicks, and Sonic being Roadrunner, effortlessly fast and unaffected by anything. Eggman being doomed as much by classically bad luck as he is his own hubris is an interpretation you sometimes see in "Adventures" and "Sonic Boom," with Sonic as an all-powerful trickster figure. You'd think writers would try that out more often. 

The simplicity of those classic chase cartoons is visible in other parts of the film. The soundtrack is composed entirely of Edvard Grieg classical pieces – "Morning Mood" and "In the Hall of the Mountain King," of course – and some leftover tracks from "Sonic CD." A lot of the sound effects are also taken from "Sonic CD," furthering this feeling of intentional exaggeration and artificially. In other words: There's not a lot to "Man of the Year," mostly because it's so short. A full story is not told, on account of being the first act of a complete cartoon. Sonic is barely a character in it, Eggman being better classified as the short's protagonist. Whether you think it feels like Classic Sonic, in the same way the "Sonic CD" opening animation so clearly did, is up for debate. However, "Sonic the Animation" remains really interesting and fascinating for what it is. TMS or Sega or whoever owns this needs to upload a HD version to YouTube or something, so we're not stuck watching the grainy Sega Saturn rips until the Big Bang crunches back and we're all instantly unmade again... [8/10]