Around the World in 80 Seconds

Around the World in 80 Seconds

Original Release Date: March 31st, 2020

This may come as no surprise to most of you but I am, in addition to everything else I collect, a big fan of physical media for movies and television. Part of this is probably simply inertia. I grew up during a time when owning a film on VHS and, a little later, DVD was the only guaranteed way to watch something whenever you wanted to. Similarly, I love the idea of having a library of books, comics, movies, and albums that I can share with people whenever I want. Makes me feel like an archivist of obscure knowledge or some shit. Truthfully, I have always regarded the rise of streaming services with some skepticism. At least as a replacement for a personal collection or a video store. The idea that something can disappear from a service at any time seems like a bad deal to me. As does the Amazon Prime model of being charged a rental price every time you want to see something. I guess my dad being a paranoid anti-goverment nut job type ingrained in me a healthy distrust of corporations. The idea of Netflix CEOs or whatever deciding what I need to watch for me, limiting my choices to whatever they currently have the rights to, makes me uncomfortable. I thought this was America, where I could watch a weird Crispin Glover movie made in Utah in the early nineties whenever I wanted, whether it's on Prime or not! You can have my DVD of Lucio Fulci's "Perversion Story" when you pry it from my cold, dead hands! 

The decline of the physical media industry – pushed almost exclusively by Silicon Valley capitalist douche-bros favoring streaming and not by actual customer demand – means we are loosing parts of our history. Not only movies and shows that have slipped through the streaming cracks. One of the benefits of DVD over VHS was the ability to pack it full of all sorts of extra content. Commentaries from filmmakers and actors, behind-the-scenes documentaries, retrospective interviews, galleries of production artwork or posters, collection of trailers and TV spots: All of these features added context to the film, making it more of a piece of art that exists in a specific time and place, giving insight into how and why it was made the way it was, and not merely a capitalistic product to be consumed and discarded. DVDs and Blu-Rays being forced into extinction means we are losing out on knowledge about why motion pictures matter as an art form. 

Am I rambling? I'm rambling, aren't I? My point is... I really miss when DVDs were a film school lesson in a box and not simply a physical record of the movie. I'll always be glad to have something on disc, over it existing on a nebulous server some where, but bonus content and special features were really, really fun. Artistically designed menus and hidden clips showed that someone enjoyed themselves assembling this package for you. That a human being left their fingerprint on this, that it was a gift from one soul to another. During the peak of the DVD boom, studios would slip exclusive content onto disc as an extra incentive to buy it. This usually took the form of behind-the-scenes media but, occasionally, it meant something like a clip from a related program, a short film made previously by the director, or a whole ass extra movie sometimes. Disney and Pixar pushed the idea of an animated short film, made strictly for the home video release, as a standard bonus for big budget cartoons. That's been one of the harder special feature traditions to kill off, I suppose because even numbers-obsessed Wall Street types recognize such extensions as a way to keep a "brand" alive in consumers' brains. 

The bonus, exclusive short film was such a popular idea for Disney that many other animation studios followed their lead. DreamWorks started to do it too. Now, it's not uncommon to see any notable animated family film including a similar bonus on its physical release. Which brings us to the topic of today's meandering review: When 2020's "Sonic the Hedgehog" movie was released in disc, it came packaged with a short, fully animated film entitled "Around the World in 80 Seconds." (Sometimes listed as "Sonic the Hedgehog – Around the World in 80 Secs," I guess to remove any confusion about what this is.) The two minute long short is presented as an entry from Movie-Verse Sonic's personal diary, discussing his trip around the world and sightseeing at various globally recognizable attractions, all within the span of a commercial break. On account of being done like marker doodles in the margins of a notebook, "Around the World in 80 Seconds" is also the sole traditionally animated entry into the Sonic Cinematic Universe, at least as of this writing. 

On a narrative level, "Around the World in 80 Seconds" does not present us with much to talk about. In the typically quippy manner that we've come to expect from Ben Schwartz' Sonic, he narrates traveling across the globe and stopping at a handful of notable sights. He breezes through L.A., New York, London, Paris, and Sydney. (Without stopping to sing a song, I'm afraid to say.) He zips around the Arches National Park, Chichén Itzá, the Great Pyramids, and gives momentary shout-outs to whole countries like India and Japan. What this short does provide us with, however, is a little more insight into this version of Sonic's mind. Schwartz' Sonic is obsessed with pop culture, having grown up an orphan on Earth and absorbed knowledge of the wider world through movies, TV, and comics. This is why he visits parts of the globe that are highly publicized in the media. He considers Broadway a much bigger attraction than the Louvre or the rain forest of Cameroon because lots more movies have been made about stage plays than museums or jungles. When running around Egypt, he references the Bangles' "Walk Like an Egyptian," another indicator of how pop culture has shaped this Sonic's vision of the world much more than actual history. 

And as a nerd fixated on this kind of shit, I can relate to that. I'll be lying if, when I travelled to Manhattan, "King Kong" wasn't one of the main reasons I went to see the Empire State Building. Honestly, we are lucky that Sonic visits Japan in this short without referencing "Godzilla" or his favorite anime. (Which begs the question... What is this version of Sonic's favorite anime? He has to have one!) Instead, we simply get a silly joke about cherry blossoms and a slip second homage to some of the classic Sega game art. As someone who enjoys Schwartz' take on Sonic, as a lonely kid who fills the hole in his heart with nonsense, I did enjoy these little insights into his psyche. Most of them are merely excuses for simple bits of world play but Schwartz delivers each one with a proper amount of enthusiasm. He's a pro and his performances as Sonic, even in tossed-off pieces of supplementary material such as this, is always worthwhile. 

As I mentioned earlier – at least until Paramount gets a good idea and realizes what fans really want – this two minute short remains the only fully animated piece of media connected to the live action movies. In order to replicate the look of doodles made in a composition notebook, the animation is pretty limited. It's strictly black and white, with a simple, sketchy quality to the artwork. What's funny about this approach is it gives us a Movie-Verse Sonic who looks a lot like Classic Sega Sonic. This provides the short with some real novelty, especially when it results in Sonic interacting with landmarks like Randy's Donuts or Delicate Arch. Obviously, locations like this were chosen because they mirror the sort of level designs from the Genesis era games. This is presumably why Sonic spindashes over the Great Pyramids and races around the Arc d'Triumphant. It's cute to look at, is what I'm saying. 

Being so brief, there's not much else to say about "Around the World in 80 Seconds." Schwartz gets some mildly amusing zingers in. The animation is cute, if simple. Perhaps it will educate some children about other corners of the world, which is nice. At least one Letterboxd review complains that this contradicts the canon of the movie, since it seems to imply that Sonic never left Green Hills. I'm all for nerdy pedantry but you might be expecting too much from a tiny short included as a bonus in the DVD if that's your main takeaway here. Can we not assume that this is a little comic Sonic drew himself in order to amuse himself, imagining what a trip around the world might be like? Let's use our imagination, shall we? Anyway, this is cute. I'm glad it exists. "Around the World in 80 Seconds" is not a great contribution to "Sonic" lore nor an astounding achievement in art. But I like it as a sweet little time waster. That's all you need sometimes. [6/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 76

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 76

Publication Date: February 5th, 2025

From more-or-less the beginning of IDW taking over the "Sonic the Hedgehog" comics, there's been people out there reporting that the company was on the verge of collapse. Some of this was definitely driven by sour grapes over Archie "Sonic" ending and other weird, anti-"woke" coalitions that I do not care to mingle with. However, the recent Chapter 11 bankruptcy of Diamond Distribution – who, at one point, had a monopoly on comic book distribution in America and remains seriously wrapped up in the industry – seems to have caused serious problems for IDW. The situation has a lot to do with creditors and debt and Wall Street bro shit that I personally don't understand. But the salient part is this: The predicament "may have a significant negative impact on our future financial results and cash position" and cast "doubt about the entity's ability to continue as a going concern," according to a recently released annual investor's report. So, uh, that sounds bad! 

In the wake of that news, IDW has already reassured people that the publisher is "not at substantial risk" and seems confident they'll survive up through the end of 2025, at the very least. In other words: The company that publishes the "Sonic" comics might be going out of business. Or, alternatively, it could all work out fine. I imagine none of this news feels great for the freelancers who actually make the books IDW publishes. One has an image of everyone writing and drawing normally, totally unaware if what they are working on will ever see the light of day or if they'll even be paid for it. Probably a lot like what Ian Flynn and the gang went through when Archie's legal clusterfucks led to the abrupt end of the previous "Sonic" comic universe. Is this what life is like in the comic industry, your entire livelihood at risk any minute from byzantine business dealings totally beyond your control? Sounds stressful! I guess we won't know for sure what will happen until something happens. If the books mysteriously start getting delayed, I suppose we'll see the red-inked writing on the proverbial wall. Until then... It's business as usual, the train operating normally while the fear that it may crash into the station remains ever-present in the minds of all aboard. Ain't late stage capitalism swell?! 

That's the macro view and stressing out about things beyond our control isn't fruitful, or so my therapist tells me. Let us instead focus on the matter currently at hand. Issue 76 of "Sonic the Hedgehog" sees the various groups of heroes picking up the pieces – rather literally – in the aftermath of the Clean Sweepstakes disaster. Sonic seeks out the Chaotix, in hopes of finding where Clutch has disappeared. Tails and Amy plan to check on the international branches of the Restoration, to make sure they aren't thrown into turmoil by the destruction of HQ. Blaze, who recently concluded her tour of the globe with Silver, is interested in helping. The Diamond Cutters have a heart-to-heart and go their separate ways. Jewel quits as boss of the Restoration and decides to help Lanolin rebuild the town destroyed in the crash. Silver decides to join Whisper on her quest to hunt down Mimic, with Tangle tagging along to make sure her girlfriend doesn't murder the guy. Belle ventures out with Motobud to explore the world. 

Ian Flynn is back in the writer's chair for Issue 76 and it features him doing something he's made a habit of over the years. The first issue right after a massive event storyline wraps up is devoted to catching up with where the characters are in the aftermath, while also laying the groundwork for the future stories that will lead to the next massive event storyline. This tendency has survived into IDW after Archie and is definitely on-display right here. “Scattered Pieces: Part One” checks in on our major players. Sonic, Tails, Amy, Silver, Blaze, and the Diamond Cutters all get scenes devoted to them, in which they lay down what they plan to do next and put to rest what has come before. When Ian is having a good day, he can make stories like this touching reflections of the emotional states of our heroes and their relationships. On his bad days, this story feel like a mechanical process of standing the dominos back up before they can be knocked over again in a year or two.

The first part of “Scattered Pieces” feels a little bit like both of those instincts are at work. On one hand, Flynn is very focused on preparing the reader for the next fleet of stories. The characters are being broken up and repaired in new combination, with objectives clearly laid down. Sonic is with the Chaotix, Tails and Amy are with Blaze, Silver goes with Tangle and Whisper, Lanolin and jewel are staying behind to plan some urban development, and Belle is off on her own. (Well, she has Motobud, I guess.) It definitely feels somewhat overly structural at times. The worst example of this is Tails' repeatedly mentioning his missing Chaos Emerald, as if to make sure the reader doesn't forget about that dangling plot point. This is obviously an issue about putting every in place for the next motion and, sometimes, that stiffness is keenly felt by the reader.

At the same time, you can feel Ian Flynn specifically addressing some of the concerns people had with the previous arc. The Chaotix interrogate Sonic about his time as the Phantom Rider, with his working with Eggman so willing, which the hedgehog dismisses with a few well placed lines. Meanwhile, the Diamond Cutters get together for a sequence that feels a lot like a group therapy session. Everyone is even sitting in chairs in a little circle! You half expect Tangle to stand-up and admit she's an alcoholic, a clearing in the woods standing in for the church basement. Jewel cries about the pressure she's been under. Most prominently, Lanolin apologizes for the way she acted during the last year of issues. 

I don't know what kind of working relationship Flynn and Evan Stanley have. One would assume they collaborate closely, to make sure all the stories flow together and make sense. However, this issue feels undeniably like a reaction to what Stanley's writing. Here comes Ian Flynn again, to clean up the mess left by the last writer. Let's resolve the tangled morality of Sonic doing undercover as a villain, Lanolin being a hideous bitch to everyone, and Jewel repeatedly fucking up in her leadership role. This is what Flynn has always excelled at... Though it probably doesn't feel great for Evan. To have the next writer come in and sweep up all the changes she made, not many of which were all that well-received by fans. I guess that is what comics are like though. Maybe it was all planned this way and I'm seeing an animosity between the two writing styles that simply isn't there. 

A while ago, I saw a funny image on the hellscape Nazi website. Someone had drawn Sonic responding to Surge trauma-dumping with him saying, bluntly, “I'm not your fucking therapist.” I have no idea if this illustration was made by someone in the pro or anti-Flynn camp. I've seen criticism of the guy's writing that reflects this opinion, that maybe he's double-down on the psychological angst too much. I'm very much in favor of giving your cartoon hedgehogs some mental depth. However, I will admit that Flynn displaying this by having a character drop a massive word balloon, loaded with observations and insight, is starting to show its strain. Having the Diamond Cutters get together in a sharing circle, with Lanolin monologuing about what she's done wrong and how she wants to make amends, maybe makes the therapy parallels a little too evident. 

But it's not bad either! Sure, Jewel crying and yelling about the pressure she's on or Lanolin extensively saying sorry probably is not what I'd prefer to see when I open up a “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic book... However, Flynn does sneak in some good moments in-between the tears and moaning. Sometimes it's as simple as Sonic making fun of Espio using the word “cahoots,” which is brought back in an amusing manner. Other times, it's a big dramatic gesture of Tangle scooping Jewel up with her tail and giving her a big hug. The comic has made these characters fleshed-out enough that moments like this feel like proper pay-off to what has come before. “Scattered Pieces: Part One” is definitely a little too stiff in its structure. Literally having the Diamond Cutters go around a circle and talk stuff out isn't very exciting to watch. It's well enough realized though. 

Weirdly, the moment that works the best in issue 76 are the ones that are a little less heavy. I was hoping we'd see Silver and Blaze's world tour actually play out. Instead, they are back at the Restoration hub, their vacation already having come and gone. I have no idea if this was intentional but the conversation the two have ends up having a romantic tension to it.I mean, the idea that they spent several weeks together on a trip brings certain connotations with it. There's some meaningful glances here, as Blaze says she admires Silver. A flashback of Silver munching on two apples has Blaze looking over at him in a somewhat suggestive manner. I know Silver and Blaze is a popular ship – with a cutesy couple name of their own, the only mildly awful sounding “Silvaze” – so I doubt these panels weren't assembled without that idea somewhere in the creative team's minds. 

It's not exactly an action packed issue, leaving little of the flash-and-bang that allows artist to truly show off. Despite that, Aaron Hammerstrom contributes some very nice looking pencils. Espio scooping Sonic up in an office chair and Vector shining a lamp in his eyes are still really good looking, with the same sort of dynamic movement Hammerstrom brings to action sequence.  Drawing characters making sad faces and looking at each other aren't very exciting on their face. However, Hammerstrom does a good job of making these glances properly expressive and meaningful. Valentina Pinto's colors are nice and warm too, giving a further sense of emotional resonance to these pages.

It's a transitional issue in a very obvious sense, transitioning us from the last arc to the next one. The rest of “Scattered Pieces” seems like it well devote an issue to each of these separate story threads, perhaps another direct reaction to Stanley leaping back and forth between groups of characters within one story. I think that's a much smarter idea of how to handle things going forward. As for this particular issue, it's a bit dull in spots. The script can't quite make these emotional moments as important feeling as he probably wanted. Still, it's not all bad either, with one or two little touches making this one worth reading. A very mixed bag, this one. Hopefully it doesn't end up being the last issue IDW publishes, he says morbidly chuckling in a joking-but-not-really way. [6/10]