Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 2

 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 2
Publication Date: June 1993


Once again, I have to point out that Archie’s comic series, at this early point in its history, more closely resembled the comedic “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” syndicated series, instead of the more serious “Sonic the Hedgehog” series that aired on ABC. This has never been more apparent then in issue two of the on-going series. This comic is devoted to introducing the Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad, otherwise known as the trio of incompetent robot henchman Robotnik regularly made use of in “Adventures.” That’s right, kids, Scratch, Grounder, and even Coconuts were introduced into the comic book before Bunnie was.

These early issues also have an easily predicted formula. The first few pages are devoted to Robotnik describing his frustration with Sonic and the Freedom Fighters' continued insistence on not dying. He then introduces some new scheme, robot, or henchmen. Here, the villain begins by throwing darts at a picture of Sonic before sending Coconuts to hunt down our hero. After he’s easily defeated, Scratch and Grounder follow. They are also easily defeated. That’s basically the plot for the main story this time.

There’s very few laughs in this story. (Though Sonic sending Robotnik Coconut’s heads, like something out of “Seven,” made me laugh.) Scratch and Grounder talk in the same circular dialogue they used in the cartoons. Grounder describing the various things his drill bit hands can do is some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever read in a comic book. All three of the S.S.S.S.S. are fools. (I pronounce that as a long hiss, like the movie "Sssssss.") It only takes a little bit of effort on Sonic and Tails’ behalves in order to defeat them. By the end, Scratch and Grounder are fighting among themselves. There could’ve been some decent dramatic irony here. Just as the robots were beginning to best our hero, via wringing his neck with a goddamn noose, their bickering brings them down. Unfortunately, the comic doesn’t handle this very wall. Basically, the comic is devoted to watching the antics of the unfunny robots. Sonic is reduced to his most smug form. And smug Sonic is rarely fun to read.

The second story in the issue is relatively light on plot but far heavier on world-building. While out collecting rings, Sonic stumbles into an alternate universe. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Anyway, the pocket-dimension is controlled by Verti-Cal and Horizont-Al, two impish fellows with control over gravity and direction. They toy with Sonic for a while before dropping him back out into his own world. There’s a joke about Antoine’s toupee. The end.

Verti-Cal and Horizont-Al are two of the more obscure characters from the Archie Sonic canon. That’s probably because they aren’t very useful. Visually, they look similar. Their personality is limited, mostly telling silly jokes. They’re not even natives to the world where most of the series takes place, making it difficult to incorporate them into plots. The story ends with Al and Cal asking readers if they want to see more of them. Considering they’ve appeared a total of nine times throughout the comic’s history, I’m betting the demand was not especially high.

Before wrapping up there’s some more silly joke stripes. One makes fun of the comic industry’s then-obsession with foil covers. Shit, Archie was bitter in the nineties. Another is a silly speed-related gag set within Freedom Fighters HQ, which is the only time we see Sally in the whole issue. Probably the closest issue 2 comes to being amusing is the two-page stripe about fan speculation concerning the origin of Tails’ tails. Conor Mooney of Binghamton, New York believed that Tails was a genetic mutation, which is the theory I’ve always gone with. (This is, naturally, spun into an X-Men joke.) While another mentions Chronic the Hedgehog and teases the furry perverts in the audience with potential pin-ups of Sonic and Sally.

Dave Manak’s artwork is really stretched to its limit this time. The Verti-Cal and Horizont-Al story features some extremely wonky perspectives of Sonic’s body. At one point, Mike Gallagher can’t even be bothered to write the dialogue and presents the reader with a multiple choice answer. Oh boy. The series is going to get better at some point, right? [4/10]