Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 33

 
Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 33
Publication Date: February 1996

As I’ve mentioned before, as a child I didn’t read every issue of “Sonic the Hedgehog” as soon as it hit the newsstands. Many issues alluded me for years before I finally had a chance to read them. One such issue was number 33. I saw the cover several times in the preview sections at the end of every book. There’s no doubt that 33 has a very eye-catching cover. Sonic is up to his hands and knees in… Something. Some sort of orange, bubbling substance. As a young kid, I assumed it must've been lava or a similar substance. When I finally got around to reading the comic, I was disappointed by the reveal. It’s snot, you guys. Or, even worst, another type of bodily fluid.

Yeah, “Let’s Get Small” is that type of story. Sonic returns to Knothole Village to find the place weirdly deserted. Rotor, visibly very ill, informs him of what happened. While Sonic was out, the Freedom Fighters order some take-out. Unfortunately, the fast food place was a front for Robotnik. He infected the food with his new nano-bots. Now, all the Freedom Fighters are extremely sick. Using some re-purposed Robotnik technology, Sonic shrinks himself down to microscopic size and enters his friend’s body, like “Fantastic Voyage” minus the submarine. Inside, Sonic meets Rotor’s “Auntie Bodies,” who is overwhelmed by the “Paris-Site’s’ force.

We are deep in goofy territory here, people. A microscopic journey into someone’s immune system is not that uncommon of a story. (I’m pretty sure the Atom does it about once a year.) Because Sonic doesn’t have a spaceship or a bitching super-suit, the story comes off as far more… squishy. Dave Manak seems to really delight in detailing the interior of Rotor’s body, with nerves, postulating sores, and squirmy tissue walls. At one point, Sonic is covered in green and grey goo by weeping lesions. It’s just gross, you guys. And since Sonic is deep inside his buddy’s body, this is technically the goriest issue of “Sonic” Archie would ever publish.

Then there’s the issue of the puns. Rotor’s immune system is personified as Auntie Bodies, an old lady version of Rotor in a dowdy dress, with grey hair and a cane. Paris-Site, who looks like a greasy corn kernel, wears a beret, has a pencil mustache, and carries a cane. Mike Gallagher apparently missed the memo that this comic already has one character that speaks with an exaggerated French accent. Paris-Site’s accent is actually even more incomprehensible then Antoine’s. A second antagonist named Fever doesn’t even get a punny name, as he’s just a being made of flames. There are also jokes about “micro-bars” and “cellular phones.” All of this is excluding the obviously goofy fast food business.

The story has relatively high stakes. Sonic is, after all, fighting for the lives of his friends. However, let’s get small has a disappointing ending. Sonic’s pep-talk gives Auntie Bodies the strength to fight back. Together, they clobber Paris-Site and Fever. Similar insurrections are going on in the other Freedom Fighters’ bodies. Sonic then spin-dashes into Rotor’s nose, so he’ll be sneezed towards the shrinking device. Oh, and here’s a super-nerdy nitpick about the story. The device Sonic uses to shrink himself was taken from the portable Roboticizer the Freedom Fighters seized back in issue 3 of “Sonic.” Wouldn’t it have made more sense to use the actual shrink ray Robotnik invented back in Issue 8’s “A Little Sonic Goes a Long Way?” Or is this an example of a nerdy reader remembering an obscure detail that the writers forgot about?

Clearly not done rising the comic to a new artistic standard, issue 33 also tags on two Penders-drawn stories. The first of which is yet another entirely useless continuation of the on-going Knuckles subplot. Knuckles himself doesn’t even appear in this two pager. Instead, a hooded figure – which we now know is Locke, Knuckles’ dad – watches his son, Archimedes, and the Chaotix from a computer set-up. Each appears in a different monitor, detailing events seen in previous two-pagers. The short story hints at the plot to come, by mentioning Mount Fate. Otherwise, this is another example of Penders dragging this story on and on some more. This plot could have been told in a single back-up story but Ken was bidding his time until the “Knuckles” mini-series got a green-light. That’s still three issues away so we’ll probably see this story dragging its feet some more before it finally reaches some sort of point or relevance. (At least the artwork's not too bad, since the two pages revolve around a hooded guy looking at some computer screens.)

As pointless as that one is, the second back-up is actually way worse. “Sonic Shot” has Sonic and friends indulging in a game of hockey. A bored Snively, along with a group of SWATBots, show up and ask if they can play. Robotnik ends up announcing himself and decides the game should be played for keeps. Sonic and friends naturally whoop the robot’s ass and win the game. I can only assume Penders is a hockey fan and felt the need to incorporate his favorite sport into a Sonic story. The details don’t make much sense and this kind of story was basically already covered, all the way back in Issue 5. Ken’s artwork actually shows some improvement here. Instead of looking like paper cut-outs moved around a stationary background, there’s actually some sense of flow and movement to his panels. However, all the characters still wobble off-model a couple of times. Snively looks especially unflattering in Penders’ bland, shaky style.

If you’re looking for a classic “Sonic” story, you can skip Issue 33. The cover story is goofy and honestly kind of icky. The back-up stories are varying degrees of useless. This is a filler issue, if I’ve ever seen one. No future writers, not even continuity-nerd Ian Flynn, have felt the need to reference Auntie Bodies or Paris-Site. Cool cover aside, there’s not much to recommend. [4/10]