Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 73

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 73
Publication Date: May 1999

In May of 1999, the launch of the Sega Dreamcast was three months away. The release of “Sonic Adventure” was coming with it. For Archie’s comics, that meant the interesting world they had built up since Robotnik’s death was about to be washed away. Sonic had already got his new eye color and shoes. The return of his archenemy was quickly forthcoming. Issue 73 is primarily devoted to further laying the groundwork for that reunion, story momentum be damned.

In Knothole Village, Princess Sally and Prince Elias have a heart to heart. The prince reveals to his sister that he has no interest in taking the crown of Mobotropolis, which comes as a surprise to Sally. The personal moment is interrupted when Sally calls a Freedom Fighter powwow. She reveals that Nicole has noticed strange satellites assembling above the planet’s surface. Each time one of the strange events that have been plaguing the heroes happen, one of these satellites activated. At that very moment, Snively finds himself inside one of those satellites, which assemble themselves into a proper space base.

Once again, I wonder if Karl Bollers’ was struggling to find some emotional truth inside the comic’s forward marching plot. Issue 73, whose cover story is obnoxiously entitled “The Truth is Out There…,” begins with an emotional moment. Jules and Bernie renew their vowels, wearing Power Rings around their wrists designed by Uncle Chuck. It’s a sweet moment, another attempt to establish Sonic’s frequently sidelined parents as real characters. Meanwhile, the discussion between Sally and Elias provides some insight into the prince’s personality, another character still thinly developed at this point. Of course Elisa doesn’t want to be king. He’s a teenager. Both characters are still reeling from the shock of discovering their siblings. These aren’t crystal clear moments but their good examples of the book trying.

However, these emotional moments have to be pushed to the margins by the demands of the on-going story arc. Half way through the issue, Sally and Nicole drop a bucket load of exposition on her fellow heroes. The worst part about this elongated sequence is the reader already knows this stuff. We already know that the mysterious satellites are responsible for the strange things that have been happening. Was it necessary to painstakingly detail each development? Did Bollers think the reader might have forgotten? Couldn’t the Freedom Fighters discovering this information been covered in a few panels, instead of several pages?

If that wasn’t enough, several word balloons in the early pages are devoted to correcting a fucking continuity error. Early reports that Uncle Chuck invented the Power Rings were mistaken, as he simply learned the art from Nate Morgan. Yeah, Karl, that was pressing.

Maybe the book was trying to build suspense for the easily predicted reveal on the last page. The Freedom Fighters believe him dead but we already know that Snively is on the space base. We also already know that Robotnik is alive and living in space, considering issue 72 basically revealed it. Despite that, “The Truth is Out There…” plays coy before devoting an entire page to Robotnik’s full-color return at the end. He’s back, you guys, like it or not.

That reveal steals power from the story’s better cliffhanger, the mysterious disappearance of Sonic’s parents. At the very least, issue 73 features some fine Steven Butler pencils. His version of Sally looks fantastic. The decision to show the satellites hooking up one side of the page, while the Freedom Fighters talk on the other side, was an interesting choice.

In the back pages, Ken Penders continues his “Tales of the Great War” saga. Uncle Chuck enters the library where Tails, Amy and Jeremiah are reading Kirby’s account of the Great War. Chuck picks up the volume and continues where we left off. A period of unsteady peace between the Kingdom of Acorn and the Overlanders lasted for several decades. Unbeknownst to the King, people inside his own kingdom where plotting against him. Ixis Naugus manipulated Warlord Kodos into brutally murdering two peaceful emissaries from both countries. The dead bodies where then sent back to each country’s leader. War is eminent.

The history of Mobius continues to be dark as fuck. And I love it. The second volume of “Tales of the Great War” shares many annoying Penders-isms. The first two pages are devoted to Ken, via the proxy of Uncle Chuck, lavishing praise on Jack Kirby, via the proxy of the Mobian Kirby. Also, Amy and Tails seem way to enthusiastic about hearing a story full of bloodshed and treachery.

Having said that, a “Sonic” comic is probably the last place you’d expect to see two people having their necks crushed. Yes, the violence happens off-panel. Yet seeing Kudos’ face twist in anger, hearing the crunches, and seeing the mangled remains somehow makes the act more disturbing. The Great War was a - duh - war. Lives were lost. Inhumane acts were committed in the name of patriotism. It’s heavy stuff for a kid’s book and not even Ken’s rusty words can disguise that.

That’s pretty much what the book was during this era. Daring, powerful, personal moments shoved alongside awkward writing and story construction. Both the cover story and back story of Issue 73 have some strong moments and their weak moments. It’s an uneven book and all the more frustrating, considering how close it was to being really good. Aw well. [6/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos

Sonic Super Special: Issue 10 – Crossover Chaos
Publication Date: July 1999

Archie’s ill-fated attempt to drive “Sonic” readers to their faltering “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” comic continued in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Special quarterly series. I’ve mentioned before how, as a kid, I was susceptible to Archie’s hype. I mean, shit, they even managed to get my pumped for the Image crossover. Yet, even back then, I thought Sonic and Sabrina meeting one another was odd. At the time, I considered the cross-over a nothing story, totally disposable. The cross-over theme of SSS #10 continues in other ways, as the story also features the Archie Sonic meeting up with the “Sonic Underground” universe, a then new series.

“Some Enchantra Evening: Chapter Two” picks up where “Sabrina the Teenage Witch Issue 28” left off. The bewitched Sonic is about to wreck Sabrina’s shit when she teleports the hedgehog to the top of Mount Everest. Before Sabrina and Sally can parse what’s truly going on, Sonic returns. This time, he sets the sights on Sabrina’s high school. The teenage witch zaps herself to that location and just barely defeats the mind-controlled hero. Unconsciousness resumes Sonic’s control over his own mind. Sally locates Enchantra, talks her into leaving Mobius alone, and Sabrina and the super-powered bitch settle their differences.

The second part of “Some Enchantra Evening” is marginally better then the first only because it slows way the fuck down on the lame humor. There’s one or two of Mike Gallagher’s puns. (One of which “I 8 when that happens!,” said while Sonic performs a figure 8, is practically identical to a joke Gallagher used all the way back in “Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles.”) Instead, the focus is more on Sabrina stopping Sonic’s rampage and Sally outsmarting Enchantra. But don’t mistake this for a compliment, as the story is still incredibly lame.

For example, the fight between Sabrina and Sonic, which I guess is the main attraction, is highly anticlimactic. Sabrina literally trips Sonic as he’s running. He twirls her around with the aforementioned figure eight maneuver. Sonic then spins around the witch in a cyclone, sucking away her air. Before passing out, Sabrina magically moves a tree into Sonic’s path. That’s it. The fight last all of two pages. It’s lame.

The resolution of the story isn’t much better. In the last act, Sally finally explains how the hell she got to Sabrina’s world. Enchantra left the portal between worlds open, presumably because she’s an idiot. Sally then yells at Enchantra about all the bad-ass villains that exist on Mobius and how they would totally wreck her shit if allowed. Even though the witch has the ability to open and close the portal at any time, this talk convinces her to cut it out. Sabrina and Enchantra then resolve their incredibly stupid conflict which, if you don’t remember, began over a school history report. “Some Enchantra Evening” is one of those stories that are so bad, they retcon themselves out of existence. At the end, Enchantra zaps Sonic and Sally back to Mobius a second after being taken, removing their memories of these events. I recommend the reader does the same.

Once again, the story continues with the agreement of Dan DeCarlo drawing the Sabrina characters and Dave Manak drawing the Sonic characters. DeCarlo is apparently respected in some circles so I assume his artwork is usually better then the flat, detail lacking work here. As for Manak, it’s very apparent that he’s forgotten how to draw Sonic and friends. Sonic has a giant, bulbous head, his proportions never looking right. Sally’s vest, meanwhile, has fused into a weird low-cut top. As I mentioned last time, DeCarlo and Manak’s work is so similar that I don’t know why one of them didn’t just draw the whole story.

The second story continues the Zone War that began back in Sonic Super Special Issue 8. Zonic the Zone-Cop interrupts a pleasant picnic the Freedom Fighters are having. He’s got another mission for Sonic Prime. After an uprising on the Anti-Mobius, Anti-Sonic has been recruited by an alternate universe of Robotnik to collect the pieces of the Giant Borg. That is, the big ass robot Sonic and his many doppelgangers smashed back in issue 19. Sonic and Zonic team up with the only version of Sonic that hasn’t been convinced to hand over his piece. That version of Sonic is in a rock band with his brother and sister, fighting a war against another version of Robontik. This Robotnik has already reassembled the Giant Borg but, luckily, it only takes two Sonics to defeat it this time.

Ah yes, “Sonic Underground,” the cartoon show that managed to disappointed me even when I was ten years old. The series was similar to “SatAM” on a surface level but lacked the heart and balance of stakes that made that show great. In place of that, it had identical siblings for Sonic, obnoxious comic relief villains, and a fucking terrible musical number each episode. (About the only thing the cartoon had going for it was the first American animated appearance of Knuckles. And, no, he’s not in this story.) There was no reason for Archie to acknowledge “Sonic Underground” existed but, I’m guessing, somebody up the corporate ladder figured the comic should help promote the new cartoon. After all, both the comic and animated series existed, in a round about way, to bring attention to the new system and game created by the SEGA Overlords.

As for “A Tale of Two Hedgehogs,” it’s pretty shitty. The strife among the Anti-Freedom Fighters is mildly diverting. Watching alternate universe versions of Sonic, Antoine, and Sally bitch at each other almost reaches the level of trashy fun. It’s all a bit of a misdirect, as Anti-Sonic’s role in the story is fairly unimportant.

Once the story proper gets moving, the plot falls into lameness very quickly. The Giant-Borg is nothing but a plot device, the pieces being reassembled off-screen. The giant robot rampages through a city for all of one page, barely enough time to establish it as a threat. It takes only a little bit longer for the two Sonics to destroy it. Sonic-Prime distracts Robotnik while Sonic-Underground leads a homing missile back to the robot’s cockpit. There’s an utterly incoherent bit in the middle, where it’s reveal that apparently the Robotnik that organizes this scheme isn’t the Underground version but rather the version that will soon reveal himself in the main comic. This is a confusing sideline and muddles the plot.

As a commercial for “Sonic Underground,” this doesn’t fare very well either. The entire premise of the new series is shoved into a two-page spread in the middle of the story. It accomplishes the same goal as the show’s expositionary theme song. The reader doesn’t get much of a bead on the new characters’ personality. What seals this story’s shitty status is the artwork. Jim Valentino was, for some reason I can’t fathom, invited back to draw Sonic. His artwork continues to be awful. The characters’ facial expressions range from grotesque to comical. Despite being so bad at drawing faces, Valentino often zooms in on them. It’s pretty clear Valentino doesn’t know how to draw the Sonic cast, as they frequently go off-model. The action is not clearly drawn while the backgrounds remain vague and empty.

It sucks. The whole book sucks. The Sonic Super Special series was often unnecessary and this issue is one of the most unnecessary. Which would you prefer? A painfully unfunny crossover with a series you almost definitely do not care about? Or a terribly drawn, weakly plotted crossover with everyone’s fifth favorite “Sonic” cartoon? Ah, I see, this is one of those “rancid milk/moldy bread” dilemmas. [The dreaded 3/10]

Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Issue 28

Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Issue 28
Publication Date: July 1999

Despite the fact that I’ve been reading Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics nearly my entire life, I’ve never had any interest in their other flagship characters. I’m referring to the character the company is actually named after and his supporting cast of love interests, friends, and spin-offs. I’ve never felt the need to read the adventures of the Riverdale gang. However, there is one Archie character I have some familiarity with. Or at least, a version of her anyway…

Archie (the company) first started publishing comics featuring Sabrina the Teenage Witch back in the early sixties. She often crossed over with Archie (the character) and got her own series in 1971, which ran for thirteen years. In the mid-nineties, for some reason, ABC aired a sitcom based off Sabrina’s comic book and starring Melissa Joan Hart. Watching now as an adult, I now know the show is incredibly dumb. As a kid, I rarely missed an episode. Starting in May 1997, Archie began to publish a “Sabrina” comic book again, obviously to tie in with the successful TV show.

Why the hell am I talking about this? For some reason, in the summer of 1999, Sonic the Hedgehog and Sabrina the Teenage Witch met in issue 28 of her comic book. The cross-over would continue in issue 10 of the Sonic Super Specials series. I can’t figure out the narrative reasons why Archie thought these two drastically different characters should meet. But I can take a guess at the financial reasons. This particular incarnation of the “Sabrina” comic book would end in December of 1999, a few months after this issue was published. That suggests Sabrina’s sales were starting to flag, even with the successful sitcom on the air. Archie probably hopped a cross-over with “Sonic” – whose popularity was supporting three separate series at the time – would help sell a few more “Teenage Witch” comics. Obviously, the plan didn’t work. (Archie has subsequently rebooted “Sabrina” at least two more times.)

Sonic and Sabrina don’t encounter each other until the second story in issue 28 of “Sabrina.” But I’m a professional and, thus, will review the entire comic book. “Thor Loser” – get used to puns on that level – begins in whatever alternate realm witches come from in the Archie-verse. Some sorcerer named Enchantra is pissed at Sabrina. After helping her get an A+ on her history report, Sabrina failed to properly credit Enchantra. Yes, a missed citation is all it takes to ensure the wizard’s wrath. Anyway, Enchantra’s secretary, Della, is ordered to sic the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse on Sabrina and her aunts. Because of a typing error, the Four Norseman attack Sabrina’s home instead. The witches stun the Norsemen, which includes the god Thor, and wipes their memories. Aunt Helga and Zelda take three of the Norseman to Florida. Sabrina takes Thor for a walk through the park. After raining thunder down on Sabrina’s friends, Enchantra realizes the mistake and zaps all the four guys back to Norway.

Man, if you thought the humor in the early “Sonic” comics were pedestrian, get a load of this shit. What passes for jokes in “Sabrina” are the broadest of sight gags. When Thor meets Sabrina’s friends, he launches their croquet ball into orbit, crushes the dude’s hand during a handshake, and creates a thunder storm. Aside from the handful of painful puns, that’s pretty much it. The sitcom might have actually had more sophisticated humor then this. No, the implications of memory wiping and mind control are not explored. Neither is why seemingly omniscient witches have to use typewriters. Dan DeCarlo had been drawing “Sabrina” and many other Archie series since the sixties. His artwork is fairly flat, jagged, and overly cartoony. But I also suspect this shitty comic book doesn’t represent his best work.

At the end of “Thor Loser,” Salem – that’s Sabrina’s talking cat – mentions how he collects “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic books. That takes us to the first half of “Some Enchantra Evening,” the cover story. Still pissed at Sabrina, Enchantra uses the internet to search the multi-verse for another character to send after the teenage girl. She discovers Mobius and Sonic the Hedgehog. While Sonic and Sally are arguing about their relationship in a desert, Enchantra lures Sonic away. She zaps the hedgehog to her world, takes over his mind, and flies him to Sabrina’s house. While the teen girl sleeps, Salem – who is, remember, a house cat – fights off the violent, brainwashed Mobian. The fight wrecks the house. Eventually, Sabrina and Princess Sally get involved, hoping to stop Sonic’s path of destruction.

Mike Gallagher wrote both of these stories. Gallagher wrote some decent “Sonic” stories in the past but, if this issue is any indication, his work on “Sabrina” was strictly phoned in. The short segment set on Mobius suggests that Mike hasn’t been keeping up with the changes that have affected Sonic’s world since he left the book. Sonic and Sally argue about their romance in a non-descriptive setting. They make vague references to lots of crazy shit happening in Mobius but no specifics. Nicole, meanwhile, yells cliched catchphrases. I don’t know why.

Once Sonic runs into the Spellman house, the comedic tone remains dire. Salem the Cat fights Sonic by zapping him with a magic ray and tripping him up with kitty litter. Considering Sonic has tangled with some serious threats, this suggests that Enchantra’s mind control is seriously lessening his abilities. There are jokes in the story, I think, but they are only of the lamest variety. Even as a simple comedic story, it’s full of plot holes. Why isn’t Sabrina awoken sooner by Sonic reaping destruction on her house? How the hell does Sally cross into an alternate universe?

Another weird thing about this story is the art work. Dan DeCarlo continues to draw the Sabrina characters. Sonic and friends, meanwhile, are drawn by Dave Manak. It’s clear that Manak is a student of DeCarlo, as their style is similar. Considering this, I don’t know why they didn’t have Manak just draw the whole story. Manak’s artwork is as angular and cartoony as always. He adapts awkwardly to the characters then current designs. Sonic’s green irises just make his eyes bulge. Sally’s more anime-esque physique is barely carried over.

“Some Enchantra Evening” ends on a cliffhanger, the story concluding in Sonic Super Special number 10, which we’ll cover next time. If this stunt was meant to draw Sonic fans to Sabrina’s book, I can see why it didn’t work. Issue 28 of “Sabrina” is extremely dumb, a comedy book with jokes so lame a child could’ve written them. And we don’t even have peak-hotness Melissa Joan Hart to look at! [4/10]

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 25

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 25
Publication Date: April 1999

Man, I missed Manny Galan. That’s the first thing I noticed about issue 25 of “Knuckles the Echidna,” the book’s first and only anniversary issue. After three issues of Jim Valentino stumbling his way through Penders’ garden of Guardians, the book’s regular artist is back on duty. Even after the three month break, it’s obvious Galan has slipped a little. Issue 25 features some looser expression and some shaky action. It’s clear that Galan does his best work when he’s regularly honing his craft.

Anyway, the plot. While Knuckles and Julie-Su are out, cleaning up the mess the Dark Legion left last time, Knux spots his dad. He immediately runs and catches up with his pop. Instead of fleeing like a pussy, Locke actually acts like a grown-up and faces his own son. Leaving Julie-Su in the middle of the city, they fly off to Haven together. Knuckles asks his dad why he abandoned him as a child. Instead of giving him a proper answer, Locke delivers a history lesson, circles around to Knuckles’ grand and secret destiny, and the book acts like that makes up for everything.

The issues I have with Locke and the Brotherhood of Guardians is well established by this point. While I don’t hate Ken Penders nearly as much as the rest of the internet, these guys play into his worst tendencies as a writer. That is, his reliance on vague, poorly explained mythology and his inclination towards cheap and nonsensical conclusions. However, “Childhood’s End’ had potential. After bumping into him a few times recently, Knuckles and his dad finally have the chance for a heart-to-heart. Maybe Locke could explain to Knuckles why he abandoned him for years on end. Why he’s been neglecting his duties as a father. Of course, that would require a writer who could actually acknowledge that Locke and the Brotherhood have ever been wrong about anything.

Oh, Locke explains some stuff to Knuckles. We find out why the Brotherhood has a history of abandoning their boys. Apparently, centuries ago, a young Guardian got himself killed while rumbling with some Overlanders and the Dark Legion. His dad, who was hiding out in Haven instead of helping, felt guilty about this. So the Brotherhood’s solution… Was to leave their sons unintended on the island, spying on them from a distance? That’s supposed to stop something like this from happening again? Nope. There’s no emotion or resolution here. Just bold-face exposition.

The most bold-faced of that exposition concerns maybe this comic’s most annoying element: Knuckles’ grand and grim destiny as the Greatest Guardian of All. We discover that Locke was plagued by nightmares during Lara-Le’s pregnancy. Consulting Athair, he learned that these were visions from the Ancient Walkers of a great battle Locke’s son would face. Determined not to fuck this up, Locke bathed Knuckles’ egg in Chaos radiation. This is why Knuckles has spikes on his hands. This is why he has a boatload of special powers which allow Penders to write himself out of corners. Who gives a shit. The most interesting thing about this revelation is that Locke essentially named his son after his birth defect. That would be like if Bree Walker’s parents named her “Pinchers.” 

So what are Locke’s crimes totaling to now? He abandoned his son as a child, was emotionally cold to his wife, and performed unethical medical experiments on his offspring while he was still a fetus. Despite all of this, the author continues to insist that Locke can’t do anything wrong.

Moreover, the Brotherhood in general can't do anything wrong. While Stepphenwolf was guarding the island, a crew of Overlanders showed up to attempt a raid. (Among them was one of Robotnik’s ancestors.) Using his bad ass magical powers, Steppenwolf immediately scared them off. Meanwhile, Locke’s prophetic dreams points towards Knuckles battling Robotnik in the far future. As in, Sonic’s archenemy. If it wasn’t apparent already, we now know who Ken Penders’ Gary Stu self-insert is. It’s not Knuckles. It’s not even Locke. It’s the entire concept of the Brotherhood of Guardians.

So what do I like about “Childhood’s End?” Like I said, Manny Galan’s artwork is solid, if not up to snuff with his usual work. Rembrandt’s reaction to his son’s death is the sole moment of genuine pathos in the book. That’s because it’s the only time any of the Guardian’s actually take responsibility for their actions. Locke and Knuckles abandoning Julie-Su in the middle of the city is total bullshit. Having said that, her reaction – where she calls Knuckles a jerk and then denies having feelings for him, like the tsundere she is – is amusing.

“Childhood’s End” concludes with Knuckles and Locke saying they love each other and walking off, arms wrapped around their shoulders. Issue 25 in no way earns this because Locke hasn’t really admitted he’s done something wrong. Clearly, Ken doesn’t believe he did. Instead of being a touching and cathartic meeting between father and son, “Knuckles’” anniversary issue is another heaping load of exposition and another excuse for Ken to masturbate his ego. [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 72

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 72
Publication Date: April 1999

For some time now, the comic has been prepping the return of Dr. Robontik. Truthfully, he hadn’t even been gone that long before the hints started to drop. Even as a kid, back in 1999, it was easy to assume that the pilot of the mysterious satellites causing troubles around Mobius was the fat man himself. Issue 72 stops dropping vague clues about Robotnik’s resurrection and outright proclaims his inevitable return. You know that interesting post-war period we’ve been in for a while? Yeah, get ready to kiss that goodbye. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

“I, Robotnik” begins with an unlikely proposition. Using old Robotnik technology, King Acorn has ordered “teleboxes” – TVs, essentially – manufactured and distributed to everyone in the Kingdom. This is ostensibly so the populace can see kingly proclamations. Minutes into King Max’s first big speech, a pirate signal hi-jacks the fledgling television network. Instead of broadcasting footage of Max Headroom getting spanked, all of the Kingdom of Acorn are greeted to a Biography episode devoted to Dr. Ivo Robotnik. Afterwards, Sonic and friends immediately dismiss this sinister development as a glitch.

So this story has got some problems. The entire television thing doesn’t make much sense. First off, I’m not sure how the people of Knothole Village – who still live in thatch huts last I looked – get electricity. Nate Morgan, Uncle Chuck, and Rotor cooking a project this big up in a matter of weeks also strikes me as unlikely. Moreover, how the hell did they distribute these things? In a panel likely meant as a joke, we see Kodos somewhere also watching the broadcast. This raises some questions of its own. None of this is including the random-as-fuck appearance of Chester Cheetah...

The majority of “I, Robotnik” is devoted to explaining Robotnik’s back story. There’s both upsides and downsides to this. First off, a proper origin for ol’ Ivo is probably overdue. We see his mother, father, and brother. (That’s Snively’s dad to most of you.) We learn the official reason he was exiled from the Overlands. In brief, Robotnik’s weapons of mass destruction were too dangerous to be tolerated even in a time of war. He was also willing to use his own people as test subjects. This further emphasizes what an evil bastard he was/is. That’s how I like my Robotnik: A totally ruthless mad scientist. The narration also shows an occasionally dry wit which is appreciated.

While this stuff is interesting, I take umbrage with the presentation. Against a puke green background, we see small clips from the broadcast, each covered with TV static. This is not an especially appealing visual choice. In the second half of “I, Robotnik,” the story essentially falls back on telling us stuff we already know. While the style strangles Steven Butler’s artwork – and he’s clearly still learning how to draw Sonic’s new design – the reaction shots of people watching the broadcast is pretty funny.

Disappointingly, “I, Robotnik” has some issues. However, you can still see Karl Bollers trying. He somewhat awkwardly attempts to insert some emotional beats into the story. Near the beginning, Rotor reminds everyone that his family is still out there in the wilderness. Remember them? Rotor left them adrift on an iceberg way back in issue 32. For those keeping track, that was back in January of 1996. In other words, Rotor’s mom and little brother have been floating through the Arctic for two years. Pretty sure they’re dead now, Rotor. Nevertheless, he heads on a solo adventure to rescue them. Sadly, this is less a natural story development and more because the comic currently has a surplus of Smart Guy characters. (And Tails isn’t even a genius yet…)

Secondly, Sonic has some alone time with his mom and dad. Essentially, he apologizes for disappearing. He admits post-Robotnik life hasn’t suited him too much but now he’s settling into having a family now. It’s potentially sweet. Unfortunately, this scene is shoved into the back of a mediocre story. It also features some seriously silly dialogue. “What’s foggin’ up the ol’ noggin’?” “That is like, way past over.” “Way past, son… Way past.” Yeah, kind of undermines the seriousness of the situation. Still, Bollers gets points for trying especially since this story is mostly another piece in the inevitable roll out towards “Sonic Adventure.”

How about a back-up story? After last month’s prelude, the first proper chapter of “Tales of the Great War” is presented. We join the young Prince of Acorn, Alexander, as he explores the Great Forest. He comes upon a similarly aged Overlander named Paladin. The two immediately begin to play with Paladin’s gun. (Uh, that’s not a euphemism.) Naturally, things immediately go wrong and Alexander is fatally shot. Afterwards, his dad wonders by. Despite mourning for his son, he doesn’t instantaneously declare war against the Overlanders. Back in the modern day, Tails and Amy get really bummed out by the story.

Say what you will about Ken Penders. Really, say it. The guy’s writing had a metric fuck ton of problems. Yet he was never afraid to handle serious issues. Yes, his handling was frequently heavy-handed. Apparently all Mobians have a stigma against guns – which is odd, considering Rotor has been seen wielding a BFG from time to time – because of this past event.

Having said that, this is a children’s comic where a kid is fucking shot and left to die. I’m not going to bitch too much. That shit is ballsy. Moreover, I continue to like the mythic, epic tone the “Tales of the Great War” story arc has carried thus far. Art Mawhinney’s excellent artwork constructs the grim story with his cute character work which actually works really well, since this is a story about bad things happening to kids.

The pretty solid back-up story brings up what is otherwise an underwhelming issue. You wouldn’t expect Penders to boost Bollers but, well, sometimes shit happens. [6/10]

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 24

Knuckles the Echidna: Issue 24
Publication Date: March 1999

Critics of Ken Penders like to say he had no interest in Sonic, Knuckles, or any of the SEGA-originated characters. That the writer was more interested in his own ideas and simply used the “Sonic” cast as a way to tell those stories. I give Penders a lot more credit than most anyone else but even I agree with this assessment. Look no further than issue 24 of “Knuckles the Echidna,” in which the title character spends nearly the entire book unconscious and is rescued by other characters.

Knuckles, Julie-Su, and General von Stryker remained captured within Haven, still controlled by the Dark Legion. Instead of murdering his enemies right then and there, Dimitri decides to perform surgery on Knuckles, to determine the source of his power. Luckily, Locke and Spectre sneak into Haven and proceed to fuck up the bad guy’s plans. Meanwhile, Constable Remington realizes something is obviously wrong with Benedict the head councillor, getting to the bottom of these shenanigans.

For me, one of the most frustrating things about Ken Penders is how he introduces characters with potential and then does so little with them. Julie-Su is awesome – I’d be willing to call her mai waifu, even – and what has she done recently? Lay unconscious in Locke’s ship? Spend two issues dangling upside down in Haven? Why do you introduce a bad ass echidna babe and not do anything with her? Literally the same thing could be said about Lien-Da. Since the Kommisar’s introduction two issues ago, she’s done nothing but sit around. Meanwhile, Ken’s self-insert Locke and Constable Blandington actually motivate the plot.

And what about Knuckles? As I said, he spends all of issue 24 incapacitated in some way. At first, he’s captured. While Dimitri monologues, Knuckles fires back with some quibs. Afterwards, he’s knocked unconscious and put on an operating table. It’s at this point that the book finally hints at an origin for the superpowers Knux has displayed recently. Apparently, Knuckles has undergone some sort of genetic energy, transforming him into a living Chaos Emerald. Okay, sure, whatever. Why is the titular hero so inactive in this plot? That violates the basic rule of writing. The protagonist is supposed to be proactive, not unconscious.

Locke and Spectre get most of the action. Having escaped the Legion’s take over, they teleport back into Haven. Sabotaging the base’s controls, they pump a gas through the ventilation system. This gas, somehow, disrupts the Legionnaire's robotic upgrades. I’m, uh, pretty sure gases don’t work that way. Meanwhile, Locke karate kicks a guy, Spectre blasts laser beam from his werewolf hand, and they both save the day. Spectre continues to be the most likable of the Brotherhood but Locke suddenly kung-fu fighting… Well, it’s certainly a thing that happened.

Benedict replacing the President of Echidnaopolis has definitely been one of the comic’s dumber plots recently. I mean, the guy is obviously evil and so clearly a puppet for the Dark Legion. Remington finally acts on his suspicious, throttling the guy inside his office. A chase ensues, which leads Remington and Harry – remember Harry? – to Haven. Essentially, the cop and the cab driver exist in this story to escort Julie-Su and Knuckles out of Haven. The only reason Locke and Spectre don’t do this is so their mysteriousness can be preserved. Boooo. Most ridiculously, Benedict isn’t merely a stooge for the Dark Legion. He’s a goddamn robot, which is revealed in a hysterical series of panels.

About the only compelling aspect of this issue is Dimitri, who rather convincingly explains his side to Knuckles. The Guardian is having nothing of it though, which is another example of Ken making his heroes look like pricks and his villains look reasonable. There’s also a funny panel where some Legionnaires comment on Haven obviously being technologically advanced. So why are these two factions fighting then? I can’t tell if Ken is aware of his own plot holes or if this is his idea of wacky banter.

Also, von Stryker is in this story for no reason, the Moritori Rex subplot remains unresolved, Dimitri somehow escapes, and Jim Valentino’s artwork remains hideous. The “Dark Alliance” story arc has been the weakest to appear in “Knuckles” for quite some time, starting decently, fumbling in the middle, and totally collapsing at the end.  [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 71

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 71
Publication Date: March 1999

The movie “Memento” came out in 2000. It basically launched filmmaker Christopher Nolan to critical acclaim. To movie nerds like myself, it was a pretty big deal. Most of “Memento” is told in reverse order, starting with the end and working its way back to the beginning. The narrative structure goes in hand with the story, about a man who lacks the ability to create new memories. The backwards story line puts the audience in Leonard Shelby’s place. Both of us never know just what happened. This narrative device was something we young cinephiles had never seen before.

What does this have to do with issue 71 of Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series? Not a whole lot, as “Memento” came out a full year after this comic book. However, both employ a reverse “back to front” story structure. We begin with the editor’s note, Sonic Grams, and the fan art, continue on to the back-up story, and then reach the cover story. This story then recedes back through its plot. (The story was apparently inspired by “The Betrayal,” an episode of “Seinfeld.” I’ve never seen “Seinfeld” so that’s why the reference was lost on me.)

In the name of reader cohesion, I’ll start with “Retro Activity.” On the first page, Sonic’s appearance has suddenly changed. He explains to Sally what happened. After King Acorn gives Sonic and Elias a stern talking too about issue 70’s events, Sally and the hedgehog go for a walk through the Great Forest. When they return to Knothole, the village’s entrance is covered with glowing, gold light. Upon entering the village, everything is acting in reverse. Nate Morgan explains this as an effect of a Time Beam shot from space. In order to undo the Beam’s effect, Morgan straps an Ultra Emerald to Sonic’s back and has him run around the planet really fast, until the beam strikes him. This neutralizes the threat and changes Sonic’s appearance. Since the story runs through in reverse order, the final page reveals that the Time Beam was shot by the mysterious satellite that has been threatening Mobius for a while.

The pertinent question is this: Does the flashy narrative gimmick serve any actual purpose other than to confuse the reader? I’m sad to report “Not really” on that account. Karl Bollers reverses the structure but not the flow of the story. Thus, the resolution happens first, followed by the climax, the plot development, the inciting incident, and the first act. In other words, the most exciting part of the story happens at the start. Afterwards, we get some tedious exposition. The beginning, of Sonic and Sally exploring the backwards Knothole, happens long after the reader’s interest is gone.

The moral lesson here is: Writing a backwards story isn’t as easy as it looks. You just can’t flip the outline upside down. The story might run in reverse but the plot momentum has to still move forward. I guess what I’m saying is Karl Bollers is no Christopher Nolan.

What does “Retro Activity” do right? Well, the sequence of Sonic running around the world is pretty cool. As he adsorbs the power of the Ultra Emerald, gaining more speed, he changes shape. He transforms into Super Sonic and then Ultra Sonic. Afterwards, Sonic takes on the attributes of his environment. He becomes Solar Sonic in the desert, Polar Sonic in the Arctic, and Eco Sonic in the rain forest. This is nothing but a gimmick but I like it anyway.

Sadly, that’s about the only interesting thing about “Retro Activity.” Sonic and Sally’s discussion in the Great Forest should’ve been touching. Instead, they just regurgitate the plot of the last few issues. Max yelling at Elias and Sonic continues the King’s rapid march towards assholedom.

Why did Archie do this? “Retro Activity” has two purposes. First, the Time Beam shenanigan finally does away with that ridiculous “Knothole is three hours in the future” business. I’m happy to see that pointless development gone.

More importantly, issue 71 ends begins with Sonic looking different. By this point, the Sega Dreamcast’s 9-9-99 release date was fast approaching. With a new system, came a new Sonic game. In “Sonic Adventure,” Sonic got a re-design. Now the hedgehog had longer limbs, green eyes, and buckles on his shoe. While Steven Butler’s excellent artwork has already provided the longer torso, the side effect of Sonic getting zapped alters his appearance to the Sega approved design. Why does it do this to him? I don’t know! Why does the Soon Returning Robotnik shoot a Time Beam at Mobius? I don’t know! If “Retro Activity” seems poorly thought out, that’s because it’s essentially a promo for Sega’s upcoming game console.

Let’s head back to the back-up story. It’s called “Tales of the Great War – Prelude: In the Beginning.” Boy, Penders loved those verbose titles, didn’t he? Was both “Prelude” and “In the Beginning” necessary? Don’t they both serve the same purpose, of indicating that this is a start of a longer story line?

Anyway, the back-up picks up the story thread Ken dropped back in issue 65. Tails and Amy Rose head to the abandoned library. Turns out, it’s not abandoned. The librarian, named Jeremiah, is the son of the lauded storyteller Kirby. Jeremiah presents Tails with one of Kirby’s rare volumes, a history of Mobian culture. Tails reads about how the echidnas were the most advance species on the planet and how Alexander Acorn united the various tribes of the continent. (Except for the Overlanders, who are assholes.)

Unlike the cover story, the back-up has a bigger purpose than just giving the hero a flashy new look. Penders is laying down the history of Mobian society. That’s cool. King Alexander uniting desperate tribes mirrors the foundation of Germany and the United Kingdom. Since I hate Mobians and humans interacting, I’m okay with the conflict with the Overlander starting this early. As for the echidnas being a high tech society while everyone else was still living in mud huts… Well, that does nothing to dispel the belief that Penders considers the echidnas shiny and special. The framing device, of Tails and Amy meeting Jeremiah, doesn’t add much. I don’t know why the backstory wasn’t just told straight on. Anyway, it’s an all right story. Art Mawhinney excels at drawing cute characters, so Amy and Tails are good subjects for him.

Issue 71 looks uniformly excellent. The back-up may just be dumping exposition on us but it’s handled decently. I just wish the cover story was more than an aggravating gimmick, for the purpose of giving Sonic green eyes and shoe buckles. [6/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 9 – Sonic Kids 2

Sonic Super Special: Issue 9 – Sonic Kids 2
Publication Date: March 1999

1998’s “Sonic Kids” was probably the best thus far of the Sonic Super Specials, which was always an uneven collection of stories. Especially since it easily grew pass the gimmickry of the central concept – Sonic and pals as kids! – to tell a pretty good collection of stories. Though the comic hadn’t made a habit of direct sequels like this, a “Sonic Kids 2” rolled around quickly enough, the sequel coming almost exactly a year afterwards. Equally surprising, the second issue is also pretty good!

As is par the course with the “Sonic Super Specials,” there are three stories in here. The first of which, “Zoneward Bound,” details the Freedom Fighters first encounters with the Special Zones. During a snowy day, the soon-to-be Freedom Fighters hang out around a frozen lake. Soon, the six kids stumble through portals, each exploring bizarre alternate universes. Luckily, the youngsters are smart and strong enough to pull themselves through, returning back to their home world.

“Zoneward Bound” is probably the weakest of the three stories inside “Sonic Kids 2.” However, that doesn’t mean it’s bad. The story has a lengthy prologue, devoted to showing the Knothole gang hanging out on a normal day. Seeing them play in the snow – which includes Sonic and Tails burying Antoine in snowballs and Sonic besting everyone at hockey – is fairly charming. Mostly, “Zoneward Bound” is lobbing a decent amount of foreshadowing at the little adventurers. Sonic stumbles upon the well where he retrieve his first Power Ring, all the way back in “Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue #0.”

Once in the Special Zones, the story lays on the mythology elements. Sally enters a zone that recalls the Carnival Night stage from “Sonic 3.” After riding a roller coaster off the rails, she falls through her dad’s giant crystallized head. While Tails, Antoine, and Rotor float around a zone that is part void and part mechanical jail cells, the Ancient Walkers (or rather, their heads) comment on Tails’ eventual heroism. An especially clever moment has Sonic landing in a Green Hill Zone which happens to still be under construction. After a gratuitous reference to the “SegaSonic” arcade game – apparently Sonic had prior adventures with Mighty and Ray – we get the hedgehog’s first battle with Robotnik, in his classic wrecking ball vehicle. The conclusion, which has the heroes wandering back home, is a bit underwhelming. While not a narratively complex story, “Zoneward Bound” is fun enough. I also Sam Maxwell’s artwork, which is fluid and suitingly trippy.

The second story, “My Secret Guardian,” puts the spotlight on Sally and Knuckles. After hinting at it for a while, the comic finally gets around to exploring the connection the Princess and the Guardian have. During one of King Max’s diplomatic trips to the Floating Island, Princess Sally tags along. While King Max is chatting with Locke, he leaves Sal by the ship. Knuckles soon finds the girl and they spent an afternoon bounding. As soon as both their fathers wander back, the two agree to keep their meeting a secret.

“My Secret Guardian” has some holes in it. King Max leaving his daughter unattended on a strange island seems monstrously irresponsible. There’s a single panel reference to Elias and the Queen already being on the Island, a plot snarl the series still hasn’t reconciled. However, when the story focuses on Sally and Knuckles’ play date, it’s actually pretty sweet. The two immediately bound over having evasive fathers. Likewise, both are young people with a lot of weight on their shoulders.

There’s some in-character rough-housing too, when Sally accidentally kicks the guardian off the Island’s ledge. Luckily, his gliding saves the day. Their parting and decision to keep their friendship secret is bittersweet and oddly touching. Most importantly, this story finally clarifies their relationship, burying all romantic tension. Sally and Knuckles are friends, not lovers. Manny Galan’s artwork is quite good.

“Sonic Kids 2” saves the best for last. “Eve of Destruction” is set on the day of Tails’ birth, which happens to coincide with Robotnik’s take-over of Mobotropolis. While Sonic and the future Freedom Fighters play, Amadeus Prower leaves for official business in the city. Meanwhile, the kids are left to take care of his heavily pregnant wife, Rosemary. In the city, Amadeus stumbles upon Robotnik testing the Roboticizer on an innocent Mobian. After expounding on his master plan, he makes Amadeus his second test subject. Thus, Tails’ father misses his son’s birth, as he’s too much of a robot at the time.

“Eve of Destruction” is a tear jerker. Yeah, there’s some sloppy elements. Amadeus entrusting his pregnant wife’s well being to a group of children stretches disbelief. After Amadeus discovers Robotnik’s plan, the villain explains his master plan. Instead of just, you know, killing the guy.

However, the story all builds up to a masterful scene at the end. After Tails pops out, Sonic and his gang notices that he has two tails. Amadeus – already roboticized, the others unaware – dispassionately walks away from his newborn off-spring. Rosemary is reduced to tears while Tails, despite being literally minutes old, sadly cries out for his father. After that heart-breaking panel, we have a heart-warming one. Sonic nuzzles the infant Tails, promising to be his friend. Aww man, you guys… Excuse me, I’ve got something in my eye. Art Mawhinney’s wonderful, cartoony, but expressive and meaningful artwork is perfectly suited to a touching, character-driven story such as this one.

None of the stories are perfect but they’re all pretty damn good. I’ll take it. “Sonic Kids 2” is even better than the first, which was already a fine comic book. Despite some of the problems, it may be one of the most consistent Sonic comics ever published. [9/10]