Sonic Super Special: Issue 8 – Sally Moon

Sonic Super Special: Issue 8 – Sally Moon
Publication Date: January 1999

When Archie started publishing special issues of “Sonic,” the extra-long format usually served one of two purposes. Either a story too long for a regular issue would be contained with-in or a crap ton of smaller stories would be jammed inside. It’s been a while since we’ve had a Sonic Super Special of the latter variety. Issue 6 and 7 were all devoted to a single story. The eighth Sonic Super Special, otherwise known as the infamous “Sally Moon” issue, jams four issues of wildly divergent quality, most of them bad.

The book begins with “Zone Wars: Prelude.” One day, Sonic is minding his own business when a cross-dressing version of Robotnik from another dimensions shows up and starts shooting damn laser beams at him. Sonic is baffled and that bafflement grows when Sally Moon, Chibi Rose, and Tuxedo Knux shows up. Zonic the Zone-Cop, an inter-dimensional police officer, appears, cleans this mess up, and explains just what the hell happened.

Ridiculous pop culture parody was common in the early days of the book’s life. This is, after all, the comic book that brought us Spawnmower and the Termite-nator. Pretty much all of Issue 19 was about smashing Sonic together with other pop culture characters. We haven’t seen goofiness like this in a while. It’s been long enough that the sudden appearance of Sally Moon comes as a pleasant surprise. Yeah, the version of our favorite Princess as the short-skirted anime heroine doesn’t do very much. She gets blasted by the alternate Robotnik before Tuxedo Knux downs the villain with a rose. Still, I’ll admit to having an affinity to this vein of silliness.

There’s something genuinely good about “Zone Wars: Prelude.” Writer Dan Slott does something straight forward and simple. Zonic, a wall-walking super-cop who polices alternate realities, explains some shit to Sonic. Basically, every time our hedgehog hero crossed over into another zone or through a portal, it was the work of Zonic. That… Makes an astonishing amount of sense. Later writers would get lots of praise for welding together different arcs like that. Slott, meanwhile, doesn’t get any credit for doing the same thing long before. Sadly, “Zone Wars: Prelude” doesn’t do much more than set up these elements. Yet the effort is appreciated. Jim Fry’s artwork is slightly off-model but not distractedly bad.

The second story, “Running on Empty,” begins with Sonic telling Amy Rose a story of the early days of the Robotnik War. In it, Sonic runs to the cries of Princess Sally. This was a trap, a hologram created by Snively. During the faux-rescue, Sonic is zapped with a ray. The device gives him even faster speed… Which has the side effect of making him age the faster he runs. As Sonic gets older, Rotor and Sally sneak into Robotropolis to find a cure.

“Running on Empty” has got its problems. Nelson Reibeiro’s artwork is frequently wildly off-model. His Sonic often bends in uncomfortable angles while his Snively looks weirdly buff. A bit too much of the story focuses on Rosie’s apple pie recipe, weirdly. The worst part is that Roger Brown writes Sally less as a girl of action and more like a weak-willed princess who cries a lot.

For its many flaws, “Running on Empty” still has a decent amount of heart. Sonic’s life is at risk here and his friend’s drive to save him shows how much they care. When Tails, Sally, and Rotor are surrounded by SWATBots, Tails refuses to leave his friends’ side. Naturally, the damage is undone by the end. Still, it’s not a bad adventure story.

Any good will Sonic Super Special Issue 8 builds up in the first half collapses in the second. “Den of Thieves” is a Monkey Khan solo story. This allows Frank Strom to discard the Sonic characters entirely and focus on his crappy self-insert original creations. Anyway, some stupid bat ninjas have been stealing gold from some hideously deformed puppy creatures. Monkey Khan appears and beats them up. Khan teams up with the ugly puppy creatures and follows the bats back to their lair. There, he beats up a robot dragon and retrieves the gold. The end. Who gives a shit.

Fans sure as fuck weren’t demanding Monkey Khan solo stories, I’m relatively certain of that. Frank Strom’s artwork remains bloated and disproportionate. Seriously, what the fuck are with the ears on Monkey Khan’s sidekicks? The artwork is flat as hell too, as the action is stiff, looking like paper cut-outs. The story is total bullocks. Monkey Khan remains obnoxiously perfect and nobody else is of interest. I have no idea why Archie kept inviting Strom back to work on the book. His devotion to Monkey Khan, and the character’s corresponding lameness, makes Penders’ echidna fetish seem restrained and controlled in comparison.

As shitty as “Den of Thieves” is, the next story is even worst. “Ghost Busted” is adapted from one of the goofier season two episodes of “SatAM.” For those who don’t remember the cartoon, Sonic, Tails, and Antoine go out camping where the hedgehog tells Tails a spooky ghost story. Later, Tails awakens to see a strange creature… Which is just Antoine covered in some glowing leaves.

I don’t know why Archie felt the need to adapt a random, not especially well regarded episode of “SatAM,” especially in such a short, mangled form. And I mean “mangled.” “Ghost Busted” features some insanely terrible art. The back-up is the sole pencil work of inker Jay Oliveras. Oliveras’ work brings to mind the infamous “Many Hands,” as its grossly off-model, amateurishly proportioned, hastily sketched, and garishly colored. Thankfully, the story only runs a brief eight pages. Presumably, “Ghost Busted” exists in the first place because Archie needed to fill eight pages. It’s just shitty, you guys.

The eighth Sonic Super Special is not the quarterly series’ finest hour. The cover story does some mildly clever arc welding and features some good-natured goofiness. The second story has its problem but at least has some sort of point. Both of the latter two stories are totally worthless. Dems da brakes. [6/10]