Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 158

 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 158
Publication Date: January 2006

2006 would be the year that Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” book would finally pull itself out of the pit of mediocrity it had been simmering in for quite a few years. Soon, enough, a new creative staff will come on board and revitalize the title. But we're not there, not quite yet. We still have two more issues before Ken Penders' reign comes to an end. Though Ken would leave for other reasons, you can't help but wonder if he was running out of ideas. Issue 158 promises yet another fight between Sonic and Shadow. Don't these guys do anything else? The book hasn't been this fight crazy since the early days, when Knuckles was still a new character. Anyway, let's get on with the show.

“System Reconfiguration” continues where we left off. A group of Metal Sonic robots has invaded Robotnik's city. The doctor assumes Snively is behind this but the true culprit, the mysterious force hacking his system, remains unidentified. He quickly gets Mecha back on his side. Just as the machines look like they'll overrun the villain's lair, they instead head out for Knothole City, destroying everything in their path. Sonic and Shadow just escape the chaos, heading into the forest to fight the invasion for different reason. Both hedgehogs will soon learn some startling information.

Besides old dog faithfuls like me, I don't know who the hell else was reading the comic book in 2006. Maybe the younger Sonic fans, driven to the comic by a mania for “Sonic Adventure 2” and “Sonic Heroes,” wanted to see Sonic and Shadow fight each other once again? If that was the audience Archie was targeting at the time, I bet they were disappointed in this story. Despite the cover promising a title bout between the blue blur and his latest rival, Sonic and Shadow do not fight in this issue. In fact, they are even working together – kind of – throughout part of it. Shadow spends about a third of the issue unconscious!

But covers always lie. What of the actual content? To his credit, Ken does make an effort to develop Shadow a little as a character. Robotnik attempts to manipulate the so-called ultimate life form. Robotnik points out his familial relation with Shadow's creator, making the hedgehog a nephew of sorts to the villain. Interestingly, Shadow doesn't buy it. Instead, he's driven to protect Hope. Considering his connection with Hope has been his sole humanizing element, I don't mind Ken returning to that one. It doesn't amount to much. Mostly, it's a story excuse to get the anti-hero fighting the horde of Metal Sonics. But it counts for something.

The robotic threats, called the Metal Sonic Troopers, are also potentially interesting. They sport the dorky black leather loincloth design from “Sonic Heroes.” They don't display a flick of personality. Instead, the troopers act like a zombie horde. They don't eat flesh but they do descend as a crowd, destroying everything around them. We learn their origin. Rotor and Uncle Chuck built them as a robotic police force while Sonic was in space. Once the hero came back, the Troopers were shelved. Sadly, both of these points are wasted. Sonic spends a little too much time relaxing after the robots are set loose, making them seem less dangerous. Our hero, meanwhile, has no reaction – good or otherwise – to learning that his uncle and friend are responsible for this new threat.

Among all this chaos, Ken once again makes an attempt to sneak in some pathos. Before the Troopers attack Knothole, Jules and Bernie have another conversation about their son. Bernie wonders if they've gone wrong, letting Sonic march into danger like he does. Once again, Jules recommends giving the boy some distance, that he's not a child anymore. This can't help but remind me of how Locke treated Knuckles, spying on him while refusing to actually father him. Maybe it's just residual annoyance with that plot point that makes these scenes stick out to me. Or maybe they really just don't have a place in this current story.

I know I bitch about Ron Lim's artwork all the time. In “System Reconfiguration,” Lim does some especially lousy work, just when he was showing some improvement too. The Metal Sonic Trooper look too much like a collection of pointy edges. When attacking as a crowd, Lim just draws a big blue, squiggly shape. His character work is okay in a few panels. Uncle Chuck and Shadow look okay, at least by the standards of Ron Lim's pencils. The action artwork, however, is dire. It's lifeless, messy, and shapeless.

For the back-up story, Archie forces us to suffer through another shitty “Off-Panel” comic. Mike Gallgher's script even admits that no one is actually interested in reading this. A gag claims Hugh – apparently the guy who changes the print cartridge – demanded another one of these. Anyway, the plot: Sonic and editor Mike Pellerito meet in a back alley for some reason. There, they are attacked by Blackstage, some Phantom of the Opera looking motherfucker who threatens to expose a bunch of behind-the-scenes footage to the fans, expecting this info to destroy sales. It doesn't work because fans enjoy stuff like this. So the villain essentially defeats himself.

It's so dumb, you guys. The script is derivative of “Better Read Than Dead” from 126, with a lame villain appearing to threaten the editorial staff in a really dumb way. Like in that story, Sonic is benched for most of the plot, making Pellerito the hero. (Because that's what people reading a “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic book wanted to see: The adventures of the editor.) Blackstage's plan doesn't even make sense. Why would behind the scene footage destroy a comic book's credibility? It's a comic, not pro-wrestling! Is Blackstage unaware of the popularity of DVD special features?

I guess that's to be expected, as this is a gag comic. Sadly, the gags aren't funny either. Blackstage's incriminating footage includes stunt doubles, camera tricks, special effect shots, and King Acorn being in a make-up chair for six hours. (I've always suspect Mike Gallagher stopped paying attention to the book years ago and this proves that, as all these story events are from the pre-100 days.) When the bad guy is informed that his plan is stupid and sucks, Sonic tears his clothes off, puts the mask on, and sings a bar of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Jeeeezus. Is this what Archie's comedy books were like at the time? No wonder nobody read them back then. I'll give the story this much though. It's slightly less embarrassing then “The Edge of Parodies,” the previous Off-Panel five pager.

The cover story is slightly better then most of the “Sonic” stories Archie published in 2005. This is faint praise, as it's still a stiflingly mediocre affair. Ken isn't exactly going to go out on a high note but he could've done a lot worst. We all know that. I'm willing to totally ignore that fucking terrible back-up story and just stick this one with a [6/10.] I'm feeling generous.