Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 269

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 269
Publication Date: February 2015

One of the main components of the “Champions” story arc is this idea that, during a crisis, the world needs distraction more than ever. In theory, this makes sense. When you’re having a bad day, some senseless entertainment really helps take your mind off of stuff. In practice, I doubt this would work. If the world was literally coming apart, as it is in this comic book, even a nerd like me probably wouldn’t have time for movies or TV. If cities are being destroyed, families separated, and lives torn asunder, I doubt people would have money to blow in Breezie’s casinos or on pricey pay-per-view purchases or arena tickets. It’s just another example of how little sense it makes to do the “Sonic the Fighters” adaptation at this point.

I guess Ian Flynn and Archie didn’t expect us to actually think about the global ramifications of the comic’s events, not when there’s sweet fist fights to look at. “Champions: Part Two - Climbing the Brackets” details the beginning of Breezie’s tournament. Sonic and Amy defeat their opponents in the first round easily. Tails and Espio fall to Honey and Bean thanks to some good old fashion trickery. Knuckles unexpectedly finds himself fighting in the tournament, where he has to wail on Bark. All the while, Eggman plots in the background.

As you’d totally expect from a fighting tournament plot, issue 269 is centered almost entirely around action. For once, Flynn doesn’t sacrifice story for “who would win?” shenanigans, because the shenanigans are the entire point of this arc. What is disappointing is how similarly the fights in this issue play out. It only takes one page for Sonic and Amy to beat their opponents into submission. Tails and Espio are both defeated via tricky ring outs, with Bean actually refusing to punch Espio and Honey quickly dominating Tails. Nack’s battle isn’t even depicted on the page! If fisticuffs and spectacle were the main attraction here, Flynn should’ve worked harder to make the combat more exciting.

Of the melees in this issue, only one feels like a real showdown. Knuckles and Bark are a good match-up, as both are brawlers who primarily rely on brute strength. Fittingly, the two really wallop each other. They trade some crushing blows and Knuckles nearly gets smashed through a glass wall at one point. Focusing on the strength of the combatants, and how it hurts when they hit each other, makes for a fairly visceral fight. Knux is the only victor in this issue who really feels like he’s earned his win.

The action takes up so much of this book that the non-fight scenes stand out. The book opens with another flashback, with Breezie recalling her first betrayal of Sonic. Apparently, she was a homeless orphan before working for Eggman, an interesting insight into her personality that could’ve used more exploring. There’s a dumb scene where Knuckles and Chip snatch a Master Emerald shard off some fat human lady’s neck. (This moment is another reminder of how viscerally wrong it is to see “Sonic” characters casually interacting with regular humans.) Sonic has to race back to his hotel room after his fight, as the sun is setting. The panel of the Werehog chilling in front of his TV, bored, is sort of funny. Reminding us of the comic’s on-going concerns – Chip and the Dark Gaia, the Werehog, the shattered Master Emerald – just reminds us of how frivolous the fighting tournament really is.

With very little substance to attract the reader, this issue instead doubles down on the in-jokes and obscure callbacks. The flashback features Sonic fighting the Silver Sonic from the Game Gear version of “Sonic 2.” (This continues the hint last time that Flynn has combined the events of the Game Gear games and AoStH.) Wes Weasely gets another cameo, acting as the ring announcer. Weasely announces the tournament’s sponsor – HEXAexo and MeteorTech – which are both obscure Sega references. Amy’s opponent is a Mobian bore based Jane from “Fighting Vipers.”

Most notably, Sonic’s opponent is legendary Sega Saturn pitchman Segata Sanshiro. If you’ve never watched his absolutely insane Japanese Saturn commercials, I highly recommended you do so. Since Segata is massively strong and indestructible, I can only assume he let Sonic win the fight as a show of respect to the more popular Sega corporate mascot. Anyway, these little in-jokes are fun but far from essential.

Diana Skelly’s artwork remains energetic and likably cartoonish, Though her fight scenes are so energetic they can be hard to follow. Still, part two of “Champions” does little to address my problems with this story and introduces a few of its own. [6/10]