Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.11: Sonic's Song

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.11: Sonic's Song

Original Air Date: November 19th, 1993

As you've probably noticed, I have few specific memories of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog." Even though I was a regular viewer as a kid, few of the episodes proved memorable to young me. However, "Sonic's Song" is an episode I vividly recall. I owned all of the "SatAM" VHS releases and watched them repeatedly, to satisfy a Sonic-addicted brain that was deprived of content. However, of the six "AoStH" tapes, the only one I owned was "Sonic's Song." Even though I didn't like the show as much, I still watched that tape as much as the other. I've been waiting to get to this episode – produced early on but shown much later – the entire retrospective. 

"Sonic's Song" is both the name of the episode and the breakaway radio hit that drives its plot. Country singer Catty Carlisle has recorded an ode to Mobius' super-fast hedgehog hero. The song becomes an immediate success and is soon inescapable... Much to the annoyance of Dr. Robotnik. Enraged, he builds a robot designed specifically to hunt down and destroy all music. Sonic decides to protect Catty but, while out looking for her special guitar, the Music Destroyer robot captures her. Robotnik attempts to force the singer to compose a song about him, though she resists. Sonic and Tails risks capture to save Catty and all of Mobius' music.

The second episode on that VHS tape was "Best Hedgehog," which I had no memory of, neither now nor when I watched it at the start of this retrospective. Multiple elements from "Sonic's Song," however, have been burned into my brain for twenty-six years. Specific images from this episode have remained with me all that time. Like Tails getting blown into a wind-sock. Or Robotnik's ass growing to giant size as he plays a pipe organ. (This is another ass-fixated episode, as there's also a scene transition centered around the Music Destroyer's gluts.) I must've watched that tape a hundred times because I remember this episode better than most "SatAM" installments, what's supposed to be my favorite "Sonic" cartoon. 

Most of all, the titular song proves truly unforgettable. It takes the melody of the show's theme song – which was already pretty catchy, considering it was based on the first game's opening track – and adds a bluegrass twang to it. This works surprisingly well. The lyrics are pretty inane but obviously they are effective, because I can remember every single fucking one two decades later. It's totally believable that this song would take over the Mobius pop charts. It helps that Catty's voice artist, who seems to be uncredited but was probably Kathleen Barr or Jennifer Copping, actually has a decent singing voice. That character proves more likable and competent than she needed to be. I sort of wish she was brought back for an encore. (Also surprising, considering this show's tendency to ship Sonic with any female character, she has no romantic chemistry with Sonic.)

Now is the episode good? Well... The first half isn't too bad. There's the expected boomer gag of a Wolfman Jack-inspired radio deejay. A bird shits in Robotnik's face, though they try and play it off like an egg. However, the Music Destroyer robot is genuinely pretty amusing. Discounting the phonograph style horn atop his head, he has a fairly intimidating design. His voice, on the other hand, is nasally and whining, a funny contrast to his appearance. Maybe it's just because I'll never be able to forget it but his nerdy whines of "I hate music!" make me chuckle for some reason. 

The episode, sadly, peaks with Robotnik's organ jam. Which features Scratch and Grounder in colorful suits and wigs, another decent gag. After that, the episode's music gimmick fades and the focus turns to Sonic trying to trick Scratch and Grounder into letting him escape. Pretty typical, tired shenanigans for this show. Maybe these scenes drag just because the oddly endearing Music Destroyer isn't in them. There's an attempt to bring things back around at the end, when Sonic defeats Robotnik with the Power of Rock, but by then it's too late. The episode has deflated. Considering how vividly I recall the first half of this episode, and how little I remember about the second half, my ADHD-addled childhood brain must've wandered off by that point any time I watched the tape. 

However, I think this episode is the reason why I held a big misconception about this version of Robotnik. Catty's song refers to Sonic as a "teenage fugitive on the run" who is going to "make Mobius free." The radio station that plays her music has the call sign of REBL, suggesting it's an underground operation fighting the man via pirate radio. Is this the entire reason I thought Robotnik already had control of Mobius, "SatAM"-style,  in this show? Something supported by almost no other episode? I guess this just further supports my theory that the writers of this show simply couldn't decide what kind of baddy Robotnik was supposed to be. 

Oh, another thing I definitely recalled about this episode was the "Sonic Sez" segment. Don't listen to your music so loud you wandered into traffic, kids. This is definitely how I learned that prolonged exposure to loud noises can destroy your hearing. (Which didn't stop me from being a teenage punk rocker and developing tinnitus as an adult. Oh well.) Even though I kind of want this to be my favorite episode of the show, by repetition and default, only parts of it hold up especially well. But that song is still catchy as shit. Ain't nothing gonna take that away from us. [6/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.53: Honey, I Shrunk the Hedgehog

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.53: Honey, I Shrunk the Hedgehog 

Original Air Date: November 18th, 1993

It's somewhat forgotten today but "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" was a surprise blockbuster back in 1989. The film's success was really a testament to the ever-green appeal of the shrinking movie. From "The Incredibly Shrinking Man" up through "Fantastic Voyage," "Innerspace," and the "Ant-Man" movies, it's a premise Hollywood returns to about every decade and usually to much popularity. The "Sonic" franchise is not exempt from this fascination. An early Archie comic would follow a similar path while the fifty-third episode of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" directly paid homage to this miniature subgenre.

"Honey, I Shrunk the Hedgehog" has Robotnik creating his most diabolical plot yet. Using a shrink ray, he has miniaturized natural resource production centers from all around Mobius. Collecting them in a very Kandor-like jar, he un-shrinks the oil, gems, and other resources to use in his global domination ploy. His latest target is Mole Mountain, a hill full of coal. Unbeknownst to Robotnik, Sonic and Tails are on Mole Mountain to help the local miners become more productive at their jobs. Shrunk with the rest of the mountain, the tiny Sonic and Tails soon escape Robotnik's jar and go on an adventure through his laboratory. 

One of the big appeals of the shrinking movie premise is that it's an easy reversal of the giant animal movie. Why make one small animal big when you can make people tiny, thus rendering every animal big? In this episode, Sonic and Tails grapple with a lizard, a rat, and – in a likely homage to the original "The Fly" – a spider. It's a neat series of obstacles to run through. Moreover, I think it's human nature to look at tiny insects and wondered what their lives are like. It takes us minutes to walk across a room but it's an epic journey for a flea-sized person. (There's even a bit where the teeny moles infect Robotnik's mustaches like fleas.) "Honey, I Shrunk the Hedgehog" also touches on that. Honestly, I'm shocked a "Sonic" game has never featured a level like this. Running a little Sonic through a giant-sized but otherwise mundane room sounds like a fun stage. 

Many shrinking stories – like the aforementioned Archie "Sonic" issue – venture inside living bodies. This too is a natural instinct, to wonder what the germs inside us go through. Here, that reasoning is applied to Scratch and Grounder. Sonic and Tails sneak inside their heads and find the control panels, taking over their bodies. This, in a roundabout way, concludes the character arcs Robotnik's two robot henchmen have been veering towards recently. Scratch and Grounder are finally allowed to rebel against their abusive creator/father figure, albeit under no control of their own. Since the status quo is king, this is probably the closest the two will ever get to getting back at their bad boss. There's also something amusing about hearing obvious Sonic and Tails dialogue spoken in Scratch and Grounder's voices. 

Once again, Robotnik's villainy shifts with the needs of the story. In recent episodes, he's tried to demolish an orphanage, take over the world with mind-control pollen, and dominate a television show. Here, he takes a more reasonable path towards world conquering. Namely, by seizing control of Mobius' natural resources. This implies that Mobius is a world dependent on gasoline and coal, which we've had very little evident of up to this point. Instead of just seizing control of these resources with brute military force, he uses wacky sci-fi gadgetry. But the pay-off is the same. This is a message to kids that he who controls the fuel controls the world. Which certainly makes Robotnik seem way more devious than he has recently.

Yet the plot still raises more questions then it answers. In the opening scene, we see Sonic gift a group of mole miners with shoes styled after his own and hard hats outfitted with blue spines. This seemingly gives the moles Sonic-like speed and sawing abilities. So, wait, his speed is in his shoes? Didn't they do a whole episode contradicting that? Why do Sonic-hats give moles spin dash powers? Moreover, where the hell did Sonic get these hats and shoes? Could anyone have access to these accessories? Why not gift s group of likeminded individuals with these and form a whole Sonic squad to take down Robotnik? That seems like a way more practical application of this technology then helping people strip-mine Mobius' natural resources faster. 

Also, since when has Sonic branched out into corporate partnership and motivational speaking? Granted, we don't know that the mole foreman paid Sonic to help. He seems to give the superpower granting hats and shoes away for free. But the implications are many. Is this a side gig to Sonic traveling the globe and fighting evil? Is this how he pays for all those chili dogs? The idea of Sonic being a corporate shill, helping out the historically shitty mining industry, isn't the only disturbing implication of this episode. For some probably racist reason, all the miner moles have Scottish or Irish accents. The foreman even has a red beard and wears a kilt. Ya know, that's a stereotype I was previously unfamiliar with and I somehow doubt our proud Scot-Irish friends appreciate being compared to animals that dig through dirt all day. 

Sorry if I spend these reviews rambling on about minor details, instead of discussing the episode's events. There's not a lot to talk about as far as the actual jokes and writing goes. There's a pretty dire slapstick sequence early on, where Scratch mistakes Grounder's head for the shrink ray's battery. Naturally, Robotnik gets his daily dose of humiliation. But I will give this episode some points for utilizing its premise in quasi-interesting ways and not annoying me too much. I've learned to be thankful for attributes like that. [6/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.55: The Mobius 5000

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.55: The Mobius 5000

Original Air Date: November 17, 1993

Race car driving has been popular for many, many years but, as far as I recall, professional racing first became huge in the nineties. NASCAR was and is often mocked as the sport of choice for toothless rednecks but star drivers like Dale Ealehardt still made it extremely popular at the time. You know this is true, because there was even a cartoon show inspired by the brand. As you probably guessed, I never had any interest in this sport either... But car races do have a certain cinematic quality to them. There's been many highly entertaining carsploitation flicks made over the decades. Considering it's a franchise all about going fast, it's not shocking that Sonic and car races would be mashed up sooner rather than later. 

A conclusion we can see in "The Mobius 5000," the fifty-fifth episode of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog." Robotnik threatens to evict a porcupine orphanage unless they pay him 10,000 Mobians. This happens to be the exact amount offered to the winner of the Mobius 5000, a perilous 24-hour car race across the country. After the porcupines go to Sonic for help, he immediately decides winning the race is the best chance at getting that money. Dr. Caninestein whips up a car and they're off. But Robotnik has planned for all of this and has entered four murderous race-bots into the race alongside Sonic. 

As I said, putting the speedy Sonic in a racing context makes perfect sense. Sega touched upon this idea as early as 1994, with the Game Gear exclusive "Sonic Drift" series, and would continue to explore it in titles like "Sonic R," "Sonic Rivals," "Sonic Riders," and so on. It's a natural idea, is the point. Since "AoStH" had already done an episode based around a foot race, sticking Sonic in a race car was the next best thing. "The Mobius 5000" does a surprisingly good job of blending game elements with the race premise. The racers pass through the Chemical Plant and Casio Nights zones, those settings making ideal challenges for a race. (There's also an ice stage, predicting "Sonic 3's" Ice Cap Sone.) Sonic makes a stopover in the Special Zone, as a morally dubious short-cut to the finish line. It's a lot more than I was expecting. 

Also surprising is that the race-bots Robotnik cooks up to sabotage Sonic are... Kind of cool? They have slick, aerodynamic designs. Each has built-in gadgets, weapons, and cool code names. Scorpion has a laser shooting stinger, Scraper has a bulldozer blade, for flipping and damaging opponents. Cross-Moto is a motorcycle-style bot with a tank torrent-like head. Speedo... okay, Speedo doesn't have a cool name or gimmick but three outta four ain't bad. Most shocking of all, each of the Race Bots are treated like actual threats. They aren't goofy or ridiculous. They're actually totally functional villains. 

Furthermore, this is one of the few "AoStH" episodes were violence has actual consequences. Yeah, Robotnik gets squished with a wall. Scratch and Grounder are subjected to their usual humiliation, of being exploded and dismembered. But the Race Bots? Sonic kills all of them. Scorpion's stinger is tossed into an electric line. Sonic tricks Scraper into smashing through a frozen-over lake. Cross-Moto is flipped into the air and slammed into the ground. Speedo is straight-up sawed in two. They are never shown being reassembled or joking after their defeats. They're fucking dead. I really didn't expect this show to have as much in common with "Death Race 2000" as it did "The Cannonball Run." It's shockingly direct and brutal for this show.

Despite Sonic viciously dispatching his opponents, this is still a goofy slapstick show. Scratch and Grounder pop in from time-to-time during the race. There's an odd sequence where they decide to help Sonic. After he's buried in some ice, Scratch and Grounder become jealous of the Race Bots and decide to sabotage their success by freeing Sonic. (He repays them by burying them in the same ice, cause Sonic doesn't give a shit.) It's such an odd moment, since the two are back to trying to explode Sonic's car a few scenes later. I'd say the writers painted themselves into a corner but come on. Later in the episode, Sonic spins the car out of a pit of deadly chemicals. The hedgehog can speed-fuck his way out of any scenario. I sincerely think the showrunners just wanted to further develop this idea of Scratch and Grounder being needy, unloved kids desperate to please their dad/creator. 

It all adds up for a fairly entertaining episode, relatively free of the annoying quirks of this program. If "AoStH" maintained this balance of goofy humor, serious action, and game-derived story beats all the time, I'd enjoy the show more often. (It doesn't hurt that Caninestein replaces the more commonly appearing, and more annoying, Von Schlemmer here.) With only twelve episodes left, is the show going to end strong? Definitely not but I still kind of liked this one. I'm as shocked as you are. [7/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.57: Road Hog

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.57: Road Hog

Original Air Date: November 16th, 1993

This is one of those "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" episodes with about three different premises, so here we go. While running through a small town, Sonic and Tails are given a speeding ticket. Unable to pay the fine, they are quickly arrested and put on a chain-gang, doing hard labor. There, they encounter Colonel Stench, a stinky skunk chemist who has discovered a type of flower with mind-controlling properties. It turns out Robotnik is already aware of this pollen and plans on using it to seize control of the world. Stench has already perfected an antidote, which our heroes use to escape. After Sonic faces Robotnik, he gets blasted with the pollen and brain-washed into being unaware of his speed. Through further contrivances, he ends up part of a biker gang of pigs. This leaves Tails and Stench alone to stop Robotnik's mind-warping plot. Got all that?

Once again, "AoStH" stumbled its way into a progressive political statement. Here, we see a small town speed trap squeezing travelers for cash via speeding tickets. When that doesn't work, they become legal slave labor, prisoners damned to a life time of hard work with little chance of escape. (More days are added onto Tails and Sonic's sentence for the smallest infractions.) We soon learn this is all a scheme by an evil corporate master to imprison people who can damage his latest plot. Such as Sonic and Colonel Stench. The prison guards are presented as literally faceless, hulking minions, all literally under Robotnik's control. In other words: Prison labor is unjust and simply another tool by those-in-power to repress undesirables. 

This episode ends with a "Sonic Sez" segment encouraging kids to go to police officers for help. Which is funny, because everything else here is directly opposed to that message. This is the first, and only time, police have been shown enforcing a speed limit on Sonic. One can assume that the small town cops are also under Robotnik's control, that the entire ordeal was a set-up to capture the hedgehog. See, kids, cops serve their political masters, not the public trust. Later, while part of the biker gang, Sonic spin-dashes through a cop car, the officers inside being totally ineffectual. During the edutainment segment, Sonic says it is the cops' job to protect you but this is, in fact, not the law. It is very odd that whoever was responsible for the "Sonic Sez" segment were so disconnected from the moral of the actual cartoon. Sonic says ACAB, no matter what. 

Anyway: Throughout nearly every incarnation of the "Sonic" franchise, Robotnik's ultimate goal is to bend the world to his will. Through "SatAM" and the Archie comics, he did this via Roboticization. Since Robotnik doesn't seem to remember the handy ray gun he had during the Chaos Emerald saga, Roboticizers don't really exist in this show. Dousing the world with mind-control pollen is the next best thing. Honestly, this is one of "AoStH" Robotnik's best schemes. If he had just killed Stench when he was captured, he absolutely would have succeeded this time. If this show had any use for continuity, control of the brain-washing pollen would probably be an on-going plot. Its effects seemingly have few limits, meaning whole empires could be built in days with it. Or, counter wise, Sonic could've just thrown some on Robotnik and ended that threat immediately. Alas, this show is not that smart, so this is just another goofy one-off concept. 

Instead of running with the ramifications of its actual plot, "Road Hog" functions mostly as a goofy amnesia episode. This was such a stock story at the time that both the early Archie comics and "SatAM" did variations on the exact same idea. It seems "Sonic forgets who he is" was an idea writers just couldn't resist in the early nineties. Instead of turning against his friends, Sonic just spends a good chunk of this episode unaware of his powers or hanging out with that biker gang. Aside from a decent gag about the hedgehog suddenly preferring cheeseburgers to chili dogs, this plot device really goes nowhere. 

This is one of those episodes that really feel like the writers had multiple ideas and haphazardly threw them together, until they had twenty minutes of material. See also: That the episode is named after the pig biker gang even though they contribute little to the actual story. Evil biker gangs is another stock plot TV writers couldn't resist - even "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" did it - and this show adds little to the idea. (Though it is sort of funny that one of the pigs wears a Kaiser helmet.) That Sonic uses the pollen to turn the pigs good at the end is a really weird choice. It's almost like the show is saying that mind-control is bad, except when Sonic does it.

Still, this episode is better than some if only because it features fewer dumb jokes than usual. Colonel Stench, as you might've guessed, smells bad. Thankfully, the episode doesn't linger on that juvenile gag. Scratch and Grounder get tormented, and even bemoan that they're going to die at the end, and Sonic humiliates Robotnik. Par for the course but these same elements have been more obnoxious in the past. When you've watched fifty-two of these things, you just have to be grateful when one is less grating than it could've been. [6/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.62: Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.62: Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted

Original Air Date: November 15th, 1993

I guess I'm going to have to explain this for the younger readers in the audience, aren't I? From 1984 to 1995, there was a TV show called "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." It was a quasi-documentary series in which genteel British dude Robin Leach would show-off the glamorous homes and hobbies of millionaires and celebrities. It was, in many ways, the predecessor to the celebutante reality show genre that would take over cable in the 2000s. The show was an immediate hit but its naked celebration of capitalistic greed made it a frequent target of mockery. Or maybe people just thought Leach's catchphrases were kind of funny. The show really was a big enough meme that even a fucking "Sonic the Hedgehog" cartoon felt the need to riff on it. 

And so we discover that Mobius has its own version of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." "Lifestyles of the Very Good" is hosted by Throbbin Screech and seems to highlight the heroes of Mobius. Robotnik really wants to be on the show. When he discovers that he was passed over in favor of Sonic, he becomes enraged. Robotnik kidnaps Screech's niece and holds her hostage. He forces Screech to record him doing bad guy shit, which becomes a ratings success. After Tails is captured too, Sonic surrenders himself to participate in Robotnik's twisted television series.

This episode catches Robotnik in one of his most childish moods yet. Even though he's a world-famous supervillain/evil businessman/would-be dictator, the idea of simply being on TV makes him shout and cheer. When he's denied his dream of being a TV star, his juvenile whims veer towards the psychotic. He kidnaps and threatens to torture children in this episode. All in the name of televised fame! While this is inconsistent with the show's previous characterization of Robotnik, it does provide a frightening glimpse of the future. Here, a sociopathic man-child/failed TV star tortures children and holds a nation hostage all to satisfy his fragile ego. In one scene, he wears an ill-fitting suit and has a hideous toupee on his head. Once again, "AoStH" functions as a surreal Rorschach test reflecting the horrors of the 21st century back to us. 

Aside from accidentally predicting the Trump presidency, "Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted" is also a half-assed satire of television. Throbbin Screech is ostensibly sympathetic at first, as he has no interest in Robotnik's bullshit and just wants to make sure his niece is safe. Yet Robotnik's villainous antics – he evaporates a whole fucking lake to lure out Sonic – make for compelling television. Once that becomes evident, Screech is reluctant to stand up to Robotnik. Despite running a show originally devoted to showcasing heroics, Screech only gives a shit about eyeballs being glued to TV sets. It's a pretty cynical outlook for a kids' cartoon. And that attitude extends to the writer's opinions of viewers, who eventually abandon Robotnik's show not because it's amoral. Viewers drop off after the show degrades into Robotnik's tiresome celebration of his own ego. TV audiences don't care about what's right or wrong. They only care if they are entertained. 

If that seems like a weirdly mean-spirited joke for this show to make, it's not the only one. This whole episode is kind of like that. Robotnik is treated especially scornfully here, most notably in a sequence where he sings off-key. Scratch and Grounder beat on each other and get stuck in a doorway in one scene. There's a brief gag about a TV show apparently devoted to a barfing bumblebee. An ally of Sonic's being exceptionally ugly is an actual plot point. (Though that does lead to a surprising moment: Sonic disguising himself for actual plot reason, instead of as a running gag.) The episode concludes with Screech's niece blowing a raspberry directly at the audience. This episode seemingly hates all TV viewers, including the people watching this very program. 

This mean-spirited quality combines with the show's usual laziness. Here, all television is presented as live broadcast that play-out in real time. Throbbin acts as his own cameraman in one scene. Despite "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" being the obvious target here, I'm not sure the people writing this episode ever actually watched that show. The real program was more of a travelogue, while the parody here is depicted as a talk show. Not bothering to research anything about TV production is one thing but it would've been nice if this comedy show included more, ya know, jokes. The gags here are presented with so little energy, that they barely register as humorous. (Also, of all the joke names you could make out of "Robin Leach," Throbbin Screech is an especially desperate one.)

Then again, this was the sixty-second episode produced. Maybe the show runners were just exhausted and completely out-of-ideas. Considering I've reviewed over fifty of these fucking things now, I can relate. "Lifestyles of the Sick and Twisted" is perhaps most notable for birthing one of the highest quality "AoStH"-related YouTube Poops back in the day, one so good that Ian Flynn referenced it in the comic. If only we could all have a legacy such as that... [5/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.13: Full-Tilt Tails

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.13: Full-Tilt Tails

Original Air Date: November 12, 1993

Sometimes I have no good introductions for these reviews, so let's just jump right in this time. "Full Tilt Tails" begins with Robotnik robbing a whole village of their useless junk, only for Sonic to defraud him in turn. Enraged, the doctor unveils his latest invention: Speed-Mint gum, a chewing gum that grants its chewer speed greater than even Sonic's. Grounder successfully test-runs it but, because he's an idiot, he immediately loses it. Tails, who has been testing his own speed of late, accidentally picks up the gum. Granted amazing speed, the fox attempts Sonic-like feats of heroics but discovers it's harder than it looks.

Throughout the early "Sonic" franchise, there was a reoccurring fascination with Tails' potential greatness. Ben Hurst's unrealized season three plans supposedly included exploring Tails' capacity for greatness. An early Archie "Sonic" story involved Tails gaining advanced intelligence after eating a magical apple. "Full Tilt Tails" follows a similar pattern but this time one that directly plays on Tails' insecurities. Tails looks up to Sonic. He wants to be like him and that includes being super-fast on foot. (Never mind that Tails has no trouble keeping up with Sonic via his flight.) But I get it. The kid wants to be just like Sonic. That's a potentially rich vein to explore and a unique angle on it, since soon his mechanical skills would become Tails' defining characteristic.

Surprisingly, considering what show we are talking about here, "Full Tilt Tails" actually runs with this idea. Tails wants to be just like Sonic and the speed gum gives him that potential. But Tails lacks the experience Sonic has, causing him to make mistakes. He gets his foot caught in a train track, nearly getting flattened in the process. His attempt to play hero has him pissing off a parachuting daredevil and nearly getting beaten by an enraged biker. Ya see, kids, with great power comes great responsibility and Tails soon learns that. Superpowers don't make you a hero. The ability to use them in the responsible way makes you a hero. For a show usually more concerned with underachieving slapstick, I'm sort of surprised this episode delivers a coherent moral like that.

After Tails loses the gum and the corresponding superspeed, Sonic makes sure to give him a pep talk. That he's great just the way he is. But an earlier scene really calls into question how good of a mentor Sonic is. After he gets super-speed, Sonic says Tails shouldn't show off... But Tails points out that he shows off all the time. And he's right! Maybe you should teach more by example than words, Sonic. This makes you realize that someone can't really be a kid's cool older brother, best buddy, and his wise teacher. This episode doesn't explore the fact that a cool dude with 'tude probably isn't the best mentor. But I wish more "Sonic" media explored the weird inequalities in Sonic and Tails' relationship. It seems like a juicy story angle. 

Another element elevating this episode is that the Speed Mint gum is a genuinely cool invention. Across the various games, comics, and cartoons, Robotnik has invented many robots that try to be as fast as Sonic. A few times, he's even made attempts to drain Sonic's speed from him. But this is the only instance I can think of where Robotnik has tried to replicate Sonic's speed. The process to manufacture the speed gum is so arduous, that only this one strip exists. But imagine if Robotnik could mass-produce the gum! Imagine whole fleets of super-fast SWATBots. Mobius would fall in hours and Sonic would be overwhelmed soon enough. Let me tell ya, the world is just waiting for a grim-dark reboot of this show.

So it's a surprisingly solid episode but there's one weird thing about it. The first five-ish minutes have almost nothing to do with the rest of the episode. Robotnik decides he wants to kick back and relax with some petty burglary, before Sonic tricks him into trading all the stolen junk for gold-painted chili beans. Robotnik blames Coconuts, who has no further role in this episode, before attempting to crush some country-bumpkins with a rockslide. Sonic easily navigated the traps set out for him, defeats Robotnik, and saves the citizen. All of this is totally unrelated to the gum plot involving Tails. It really feels like the script was a few minutes short, forcing the writers to throw together this largely unrelated opening. 

It's strange but, considering my low expectations for this show, it's not enough to distract from an above-average episode. You'd think the "Sonic Sez" segment would expound on this personal responsibility theme but, nah, it goes with an anti-smoking lesson. Because tobacco and the predatory corporations and the FDA apparently exist on Mobius. Anyway, this is the fiftieth episode of this show I've reviewed and I still have fifteen left. If all the installments were on the same amicable level at this one, which focuses more in actual storytelling than obnoxious slapstick, this trip would've been less painful. [7/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.52: Baby-Sitter Jitters

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.52: Baby-Sitter Jitters

Original Air Date: November 11th, 1993

"Baby-Sitter Jitters" begins with Robotnik casually preparing to murder an entire village. He's going to explode a dam, flooding the community of Beaverton, in order to create some pricy beach-front property. After a signal is sent to Sonic via crop duster, the hedgehog races in to the save the town. Cleaver Beaver, the town leader, is grateful and plans to throw a huge cook-out for Sonic. However, that means he has to leave to get supplies, causing Tails to volunteer to watch the three little beaver children. The beaver babies turn out to be total hellions, stressing Sonic out. When Scratch and Grounder show up, the situation gets more hectic. 

Within the opening minutes of "Baby-Sitter Jitters," Sonic patches up an exploded dam and then spins a tidal wave of water back into its original location before anyone in Beaverton even gets wet. This is such a ridiculous, "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace"-level act of superheroics that it proves Sonic is essentially unstoppable. Instead of trying to go bigger, the show zeroes in on a much smaller, domestic issue for Sonic to resolve. The God-like hedgehog can handle disasters with ease but can he take care of babies? He's just sixteen years old, after all, and parenthood really isn't on his agenda. In theory, this is a solid premise for an episode. 

But there's a problem. See, there's this subgenre of children's entertainment wherein adults are continuously humiliated and physically battered by tiny children. This is usually a staple of underachieving live-action films like "Baby's Day Out," "Clifford," "Problem Child," or "Baby Geniuses." ("Home Alone" is, I guess, on the more sophisticated end of the spectrum.) But cartoons have done it too. The idea, I suppose, is that children's lives are at the whims of adults, so seeing them take back some of that control is empowering for kids. Or maybe it's just an easy reversal, the hope being that tiny children destroying adults is suitably ironic enough to provide laughs.

The problem with this is... Usually, these shows characterize the kids or babies as not merely mischievous but utterly diabolical. Everything they do is designed to make the adults' lives hell. This is also true of "Baby-Sitter Jitters." The beaver babies are just demons. They scream at Sonic, chew through their crib, drop a cabinet on his head, and shatter the one plate he's able to save. When Scratch and Grounder pick the kids up, they drop the robots out of a fucking airplane. The episode ends with a reign of chaos, of the babies wrecking Robotnik's shit. (Even utilizing a random set of golf clubs at one point.) 

If the beaver triplets where just humiliating the bad guys, that would at least fit the show's usual antics. But, after Sonic saves them, they spray him with milk for no reason. If they just babbled and shit their pants, like normal babies, that would be annoying but understandable. Their destructive habits, and the sadistic joy they take from this destruction, elevates the hideous beaver babies to sociopath levels. The show seems to find this behavior amusing but it's just infuriating. These infants are pure demons and deserve to burn in Hell where demons belong. 

The fact that the episode devotes so much of its time to the Hellish antics of these evil babies is bad enough. Worst yet, the episode barely has any other jokes. Tails mixes up Sonic's fondness for "babes" for babies, the cutting-edge level of wordplay you should expect here. (See also: The constant visual puns about beavers and dams.) Writer Jeffrey Scott throws in a gag where Scratch cross dresses, the second time he's done that joke. No, Jeff, Sonic is the main cross dresser on this show! There's also an extended gag where Robotnik is caught in the shower, telling his rubber ducky brush how much he loves it. Which is more freaky and off-putting than funny. 

In other words, it's a miserable episode. It might be the most obnoxious episode of a show that was annoying by-default. Thank god the horrible beaver babies were one-off characters. I couldn't handle any more of these screaming monstrosities. Though it's sort of impressive that Jeffrey Scott wrote one of the best episodes of this show and what might be the worst. That's range, I guess. [3/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.31: MacHopper

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.31: MacHopper

Original Air Date: November 10th, 1993

As they did with so many things, "The Simpsons" keenly observed that America had a fleeting fascination with Australia in the eighties and early nineties. Nobody is certain why – maybe it's just because koalas and wallabies are really cute – but the island continent essentially became a meme at one point. From roughly 1981 to 1990, we Yanks just couldn't get enough of Fosters, shrimp on the barbie, and Yahoo Serious. This led to blockbuster movies, Disney sequels, wildly successful pop songs, shampoo brands, and a restaurant chain. Truly, America's Australia-philia never entirely went away, as evident in the careers of the Crocodile Hunter and Russell Crowe. But, by 1993, the fad was mostly over. This did not stop "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" from cashing in with an episode linked to this faded fascination. 

In hopes of capturing Sonic, Robotnik has Scratch and Grounder kidnap MacHopper, a kangaroo bounty hunter. Though a friend of Sonic's, Robotnik brainwashes MacHopper into doing his bidding. Sonic and Tails quickly realize that something is wrong with their accented buddy. A blast of spicy chili is enough to clear out the doctor's programming but only temporarily. Sonic and Tails try to fix their friend's scrambled mind, by getting into Robotnik's fortress and re-zapping him with the brainwashing machine. Yet MacHopper's constantly shifting alliances makes this a perilous journey. 

Once again, "AoStH" presents us with a strong premise. This is essentially an episode about Sonic having a friend he can't trust. We've never met MacHopper before but we are assured he's an old ally of Sonic's. The idea of a friend turning out to be a traitor is powerful enough. Even more intriguing is that it's literally not MacHopper's fault. He has no control over his own actions here. That could've led to even more suspense. From one minute to the next, Sonic doesn't know if MacHopper is friend or foe. He turns on a dime – a metaphor literalized in an early scene – from friendly old pal to Robotnik sleeper agent. It's a good idea for an episode and it's not surprising that "SatAM" and the comic's tried similar story lines. 

But this is "Adventures" we're talking about here, so every good idea is undermined by obnoxious comedy. Let's talk about MacHopper. Yes, he wears a vest and a Crocodile Dundee hat and is another ostensibly male kangaroo with a pouch. He throws a boomerang and says things like "blokes" and "digeridoo." Scott McNeil is trotted out to play the character. Even though McNeil was born in Australia, his Australian accent still sounds fake-as-hell. Easy cultural clichés aside, MacHopper is more annoying than compelling. The show plays his splintered mind for goofy comedy, as he often babbles non-sense and gets comically yanked between two different extremes. It's the show's trademark aggressively wacky style that almost always comes off as more annoying than amusing.

The only thing that can ward off Robotnik's programming is a taste of uber-spicy chili. This leads to multiple scenes of a syringe full of hot meat sauce being rammed into MacHopper's mouth and several shots of characters being tied up with intestine-like ropes of wieners. Suggestive visuals aside, one must really ask: What is with the "Sonic" franchise's chili dog obsession? A quirk invented by Sega of America, Sonic's trademark favorite food has become an ingrained part of his personality, showing up across most "Sonic" media. I assume the idea was to copy the Ninja Turtles' fascination with pizza. It's a good marketing strategy, because kids like pizza and kids like hot dogs. Ergo, kids will like the Turtles and Sonic more for also liking these things. Enjoying childish food linked both series with youth, further emphasizing their statues as totally radical dudes. (Likewise, Sonic liking spicy food also built up his reputation as an x-treme icon.)  

But, as it did with most of the series' early trademarks, "AoStH's" took Sonic's love of his favorite food too far. There's rarely an episode that doesn't at least mention chili dogs. Much like the previous highly unnerving "Too Tall Tails," we have an episode here that builds a whole plot point around con carne-topped frankfurters. Magical powers are attributed to chili and Tails or Sonic repeatedly force-feed it to MacTaggert. Later, after briefly being captured by Robotnik, Sonic asks for one final chili dog as his last request. And those scenes with the hot dog rope features some vividly fleshy animation. The fixation on smothered sausage is way past weird at this point. I've been known to chow down on some bratwursts from time-to-time but this is a little too much. Please, Sonic, eat some spinach or something. You're going to give Tails gout.

All of that aside, "MacHopper" largely doesn't work because, even by the standards of this series, it's a shrill episode. It's blindingly colorful at times. Scratch and Grounder drive a hot-pink submersible vehicle at one point. A bright orange river and waterfall makes a prominent appearance. The fluorescent hills and valleys of Mobius are the setting for most of this half-hour. It's like if Lisa Frank designed Ren and Stimpy. Most of the humor here comes from belligerent zaniness. MacHopper acts weird, Scratch and Grounder act dumb, Sonic and Tails throw together increasingly goofy solutions. There's lots of yelling and chase scenes. Giant plungers are thrown in, because this show is just that desperate for a laugh. By far the strangest moment is a largely plot-irrelevant moment where Robotnik pins up three wanted posters in fifteen seconds, which leaves him utterly winded. This show has made fun of Robotnik's weight before but this moment comes off as especially mean-spirited.

Unsurprisingly, MacHopper is not one of those minor "AoStH" character with a fan-following. (Though, he would've made a good substitute for Walt Wallabe in the post-reboot comic.) He is forgotten, along with the episode that shares his name. How many more of these do I have left? [5/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.33: Spaceman Sonic

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.33: Spaceman Sonic

Original Air Date: November 9th, 1993

Aside from goofy superhero parodies, the writers of "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" often threw some aliens into the mix. Just saying a weird character was from space or another dimension was an easy way to introduce whatever odd one-off the writers had thought up that week. So it seems inevitable that the show would launch Sonic himself into space eventually. As much as I would like to invoke the "Jason X" rule - if a genre series runs long enough, it'll eventually end up in space - it doesn't really apply here. Sega had space levels as soon as the second game, and featured them with some frequency afterwards, so the cartoon was just following that lead. And thus, the prophecy is fulfilled with "Spaceman Sonic."

Robotnik has discovered a rare and powerful mineral in an asteroid field near Mobius. He has designed a rocket to travel to this area and gather the material, with Scratch and Grounder being the pilots. Sonic and Tails sneak aboard, in hopes of stopping the scheme. But that doesn't matter, as Grounder's idiocy soon has the entire group stranded in space. Sonic thinks up a way to steer the ship towards a near-by, abandoned space station, where they at least won't run out of oxygen. However, our hedgehog hero and his two-tailed Fox friend soon discover why the space station was abandoned: It's home to a grouchy and hungry alien lifeform. 

I appreciate "Spaceman Sonic" because it's the closest the show has come to a horror-themed episode. Being pursued by an angry, homicidal alien on an abandoned space station definitely sounds like the premise of an eighties horror movie. The set-up recalls "Alien," "It! The Terror from Beyond Space," "Saturn 3," and a dozen other movies. The alien is a one-eyed blob creature with a bad cold, resembling a giant amoeba monster from "The Angry Red Planet." (Not to mention the Space Mutants from "The Simpsons.") Slimy, as Sonic names him in the Sonic Sez segment, can also ooze through air vents, a direct shout-out to the Blob. The episode is also set on a "Caligari"-esque set, briefly features a skeleton, and has direct homages to the "Lost in Space" robot and the Martian Commander from "Invaders from Mars." If this had aired a few days earlier in 1993, it would've been a decent Halloween special. 

That's all well and good. The show's stretchy cartoon body-horror is even put to good use with Slimy, who bends his slime body into all sorts of fleshy shapes. Unfortunately, "Spaceman Sonic's" spooky space atmosphere is ruined by the show's usual shrill comedy. Scratch and Grounder's antics are even more unbearable than usual. Grounder accidentally breaking the ship controls minutes after getting airborne is not endearing. There's a joke about ball bearings and lots of insufferable banter between these two. It definitely feels like the writers padded out the script a little with repetitive, ostensibly comedic dialogue between the show's two main morons. (This is not the only evidence that this script might've been a rush job. The ending basically happens off-screen, Sonic befriending Slimy and using him to get home.)

Even then, I can't help but feel a little sorry for Scratch and Grounder in this episode. After Robotnik learns that the robots are on the abandoned space station, he duplicitously has Grounder destroy the only means of escape. All Robotnik cares about is that his greatest enemy is stranded on an abandoned space station. If he's successfully stranded his two most loyal robots as well is of no importance to him. Scratch and Grounder are understandably horrified by this. (Even if they are quasi-immortal robots.) Again, I must emphasize how cruel Robotnik is. He's built two undying machines, programmed them to love him, but only sees them as a means to an end. He cares not if they rot forever in space. What an asshole! This is the kind of shit that leads to robot uprisings, man. 

As "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" goes on, I am slowly getting an idea of what Mobius is like as a society. Here in "Spaceman Sonic," we learn that the Mobian government was once so advanced, and so rich, that it could afford to build and launch a massive space station. Sonic adds that the project was abandoned after "Robotnik stole all their money." Which further explains Robotnik's occasional depiction as a bank robber but also paints a pretty grim picture of the Mobian government. They had no reprisal against Robotnik for stealing their entire budget? He's so incompetent that a sixteen-year-old and his child sidekick regularly make a buffoon of him! Are there no armies in this world? No defense budgets? Was Mobius a utopia with no concept of violence before Robotnik? The glimpses of its past we got in the "Quest for the Chaos Emeralds" arc, which included some sort of World War, certainly didn't suggest that. While being ruled by childish despot Robotnik would be terrible, I'm beginning to think Mobius wasn't much better off before he arrived.

Anyway, I just realized I've barely talked about Sonic and Tails in this review. They spend most of the episode running away from the monster. Sonic using some magnet shoes and his speed to roll the aimless rocket towards the space station is mildly clever. (And, considering the physics of space, more accurate than the writers probably realized.) It's also notable that Sonic does the disguise gag even in outer space, further suggesting this is an innate superpower of his. Despite having lots of potential, I didn't really care for this episode too much. It should've focused more on the hungry space monster and less on the shrieky dialogue. But that's this show for ya. [5/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.42: Mass Transit Trouble

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.42: Mass Transit Trouble

Original Air Date: November 8th, 1993

The nineties were a decade that had plenty of real problems but that didn't stop bored housewives and obnoxious moral guardians from getting mad about unimportant shit. Lots of kids media was controversial at the time. Is "Ren and Stimpy" too gross? Is "Power Rangers" too violent? Is "Harry Potter" turning our children into Satanists? These are all real, dumb questions people asked. "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" largely avoided that level of controversy, on account of it being about goofy cartoon animals and being too cheap and unambitious for anyone to care. However, one episode did manage to get removed from rotation twice. "Mass Transit Trouble" has Robotnik threatening to blow up several landmarks, including an airport. This would get the episode pulled after the Oklahoma City bombing and 9/11. Who would've thought that this, the most ridiculous of cartoons, would be uncomfortably close to real life tragedies twice?

Robotnik returns once again to terrorize the transportation industry in "Mass Transit Trouble." Sonic and Tails race to stop a freight ship from crashing into an iceberg, because Coconuts has taken the local lighthouse keeper hostage. This is just the first of a triple assault across the Mobian globe. Sonic has to run around the planet to a crisis Scratch has caused at an airport before going around the world again to stop a train crash engineered by Grounder. Already exhausted, Robotnik then reveals his real plan via a world-threatening message: Powerful bombs have been planted in each of the previous locations, each designed to go off at the same time. Sonic can't be in all three places at once, after all. The worn-down hedgehog hero must run off again to try and save the day. 

Most of Robotnik's villainous plots in "AoStH" are pretty hairbrained yet "Mass Transit Trouble" features him in an unusually clever mode. Sonic may casually violate the laws of physics all the time but he can't be in multiple places at the same time. Robotnik and his bots can't outrun the hedgehog but perhaps they can overwhelm him. Even super-fast video game mascots have their limits. Tiring a hero out with simultaneous, far spread-out threats to public safety is pretty clever. It's the kind of shit Lex Luther tries all the time but I'm surprised goofy ol' Robotnik went there.

It's a set-up rift with suspense and, surprisingly, "AoStH" tries to take advantage of that. Even by the time he gets to the train station, where he has to redirect four trains set on a collision course with each other, Sonic is already exhausted. The presence of multiple bombs forces him to out-think his opponent, doing crazy shit like heating his shoes up to red hot temperature or just sawing through the fucking earth. Yet, even then, there's always a time limit. Sonic is always racing against the clock, a good way to increase dramatic tension. Even at the end, after he successfully grabs all the bombs, he still has to detonate them in a safe place without getting himself exploded. Up until the very end, our hedgehog hero is almost out of time. 

Yet "AoStH" is always a goofy kids show, so it can never let the situation get too serious. The episode is packed full of random, dumbass gags. Like the lighthouse keeper being a stereotypical Scotsman. (He also, despite being a seagull, has a mouth full of disturbingly human-like teeth.) Or the train conductor being a slow-poke turtle. The most surreal of these jokes has a bomb detector acting like an overeager hound dog, leading Sonic to a "bomb" movie and letting him float through the air at one point. The most underachieving joke has Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts attempting to blow up Sonic on their own. This, predictably, goes wrong for them. The show is so concerned with undermining its own tension, that quick and random sight gags are included as Sonic is running from place-to-place. This is an example of the show having a solid premise and even potentially a good script but being unable to commit to it, due to the childish limits of the series' tone.

Once again, Robotnik proves to be the most interesting character in this show, even if he's largely off-screen in this episode. In "Mass Transit Trouble," Robotnik graduates from wannabe tyrant and cartoon supervillain to full-blown terrorist. He's always wanted to make Mobius bow to him but he resorts to threatening untold innocents with death and violence here. Perhaps it's just because this episode got pulled due to two real life terrorist attacks that made me feel this way but it feels like a surprisingly severe action by the villain. In order to beat-down Sonic, he really is willing to kill a bunch of regular people. He never even asks for a ransom or anything. Robotnik is just straight-up out to terrorize people in this one. It's unexpected, to say the least. (Despite his unambiguously evil actions here, there's still a sight gag involving an advertisement for Robotnik brands. Suggesting he's still trying to operate as a businessman, even while functioning as a public terrorist. Truly, this show takes place in a capitalistic dystopia.)

If the comics or "SatAM" had tackled a plot line like this, it probably would've made for a damn fine issue or episode. In the hands of the goofiest "Sonic" cartoon, it can only reach the level of an okay episode. It's hard to get too invested in a serious situation, when goofy jokes have to be inserted at every opportunity. Still, I have to give the writers some points for thinking up a good premise for an episode, even if the execution could've been a little better. [6/10]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.45: Super Robotnik

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Episode 1.45: Super Robotnik

Original Air Date: November 5th, 1993

Previously, while reviewing "Over the Hill Hero" and "Blank-Headed Eagle," I wondered if the writers of this show just wanted to make a superhero spoof instead. I am forced to consider this question again as "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" returned to the superhero parody well a third time with "Super Robotnik." (Also, this is the only episode to air in the same order it was produced, meaning it's the 45th entry in the watch-order regardless of which one you go with. There's your totally useless Sonic trivia of the day...)

While cleaning out one of Robotnik's laboratories, Coconuts spills some chemicals in a bath tub. Soon afterwards, Dr. Robotnik falls headfirst into the mixture. At first angry, he soon realizes that the accidental formula has given him spectacular superpowers. (Prompting him to promote Coconuts and demote Scratch and Grounder.) Dubbing himself Super Robotnik, he immediately tosses Sonic and Tails into the frozen tundra before capturing all of Mobius' political leaders. After Sonic thaws out, Super Robotnik then challenges him to a gladiatorial trial that will determine the future of the planet. Naturally, Super Robotnik has no intention of playing fair. Luckily, Tails did some recon and discovered that Super Robotnik has a weak spot: His ass, the only part of him that wasn't bathed in the chemical. But will the butt-invading powder Von Schlemmer cooked up kick-in in time to save Mobius? 

In its previous jabs at the superhero genre, "AoStH" parroted the nineties credo that traditional superheroics were to be belittled, or where at least kind of lame. "Super Robotnik" features a far-more biting – and almost definitely accidental – insight into the capes genre. Super Robotnik has all the abilities we associate with Superman, that most iconic of superheroes: Self-propelled flight, physics-breaking strength, x-ray vision, heat vision, super breath, super-hearing, super-sight etc etc. (Though he still can't see through Sonic's paper-thin disguises.) But Robotnik is a wannabe dictator and immediately uses his powers to subjugate the world's governments to his will. Which seems to suggest that such all-encompassing superpowers are inherently fascist. Characters like Superman, no matter how altruistic they act, teach the lesson that might makes right and that self-appointed all-powerful "protectors" know what is best for us. By comparing the tyrannical Robotnik with Superman, the show suggests the unavoidable problematic subtext of all superhero media. 

Obviously, the writers didn't intend any of this and were just goofing in another piece of hyper-familiar boomer media. But that's never stopped me from reading too much into this show before. Speaking of which! I've mentioned before that Coconuts' desperate attempts to win his horrible boss' approval is a great metaphor for the common worker's struggle under capitalism. In this episode, Coconuts actually achieves his goal: He gets that promotion from his boss, gaining the love and respect he's always craved. Scratch and Grounder, meanwhile, are switched into the role of abused, humiliated underlings through no fault of their own. In one especially on-the-nose scene, the duo wreck and humiliate each other for a chance to literally pamper their boss' ass! Coconuts' breakthrough was an accident, Robotnik's decisions are made randomly, and Scratch and Grounder's attempts-to-please are absurd. What a great depiction of how ridiculous the entire boss/employer dynamic is. That Scratch and Grounder's tell the depowered Robotnik to essentially take this job and shove it in the final scene suggests this subtext wasn't wholly accidental. 

That ass-kissing scene is just one example of how unpleasantly glutinous-centric this episode is. "AoStH's" rubbery cartoon physics has often veered towards accidental body-horror. The scenes here of Robotnik growing sudden muscles, enlarging his ear, or extending his eyeball like a telescope absolutely fall into that category. (Though at least we are saved from seeing Sonic get pumped-up, even after Von Schlemmer builds him an elaborate exercise machine.) The moment Robotnik sits on a nail, revealing his ass is his weak spot, is especially bizarre. It leads to a Robotnik talking about his ass, referring to it as his "unmentionable" and his "caboose." Scratch and Grounder then dress in drag and yank the nail out with an oversized pair of tweezers specifically designed to remove nails from asses. The focus is on Robotnik's agonized face the whole time. This whole sequence feels like a disturbing cross between a prostate exam joke and somebody's fetish. Considering a later scene has Sonic bouncing off an elephant lady's matronly bosom, I'm just going to assume the "AoStH" writers were getting horny-on-main again. Though I will give the writers some credit for including a totally unexpected reference to Greek mythology there, even if they turn it into a butt joke.

But enough about butts. Let's talk about Mobius' unstable political structure. Providing definitive proof that Robotnik is only trying to take over the world in this universe, we learn that Mobius has a number of elected officials from all over the world. The strangest thing is they all look the same, their designs being vaguely Seussian. (And kind of Rabbinical? The Sonic Wiki also feels the need to point out that they have no legs.) This suggests Mobius' leadership is homogeneous, in both its appearance and incompetence. Even though a super-powered tyrant is literally flying around the globe, a gathering of the world's leaders do not deem extra security a necessary step. No wonder they have to rely on Sonic to stop Robotnik. They even say they're doomed without the blue hedgehog around! The more I watch this series, the more dysfunctional its setting becomes. 

Then again, maybe the world's governments have no need for armies, considering a throwaway gag during the last act reveals that God is real in "AoStH" universe and actively intercedes from time to time. Yes, after an angel is knocked out of the clouds by a thrown prop, it later zaps Robotnik with a lighting bolt after he's de-powered. This raises a lot of questions that this dumbass show is in no way prepared to answer. How come the forces of Heaven never intervene in Mobius' affair? Why did the powers of the angels above not attempt to stop Robotnik sooner? Do they only care about earthly affairs when they directly collide with the heavenly kingdom? Were they afraid of Super Robotnik? Are Sonic and Robotnik more powerful than God? Why is it the dumb-ass, one-off sight gags that always raise the most terrifying connotations on this show?

It's a good thing there's so much unintentionally interesting/disquieting content in this episode. Otherwise, it's just another lame half-hour of "AoStH." The animation is weirdly expressive in a few scenes, especially the very beginning, but just as half-assed and choppy as usual the rest of the time. The "American Gladiators" references at the end – Sonic and Robotnik roll around in big hamster balls – is another one of the show's pop culture signifiers that were relevant at the time but will only mystify younger modern viewers. When the jokes are lame and the story is thin, you'll have to excuse me for lingering on the accidental elements. [6/10]