Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog: Conclusion

For a couple of days now, I've been wracking my brain, trying to think of eloquent things I can say about "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" as I put it in the rear-view mirror. It took me almost four years to review all of the Archie "Sonic" comics, which evolved a lot over the course of its extensive run. I had a lot of feelings about that series. Similarly, "SatAM" was a show I was really attached to as a kid and my thoughts on it have shifted a few times as I've revisited. 

"Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog," on the other hand, is a show I'm not sure I've watched in its entirety before. I enjoyed it as a kid but it never stuck much in my mind. Moreover, the opinion I had of the program going into this retrospective remains more-or-less unchanged. I guess this conclusion has been hard to write because I don't have a relationship with "AoStH" the way I had a relationship with the comics or "SatAM."

So, what is that opinion that's stayed mostly consistent throughout these reviews? Going into this retrospective, I recalled "Adventures" as obnoxious in its humor, cheap in animation, and deeply childish in its writing. This is still an accurate description. If "AoStH" revealed any hidden depths to me during this watch-through, it's how freaky the show got. The stretchy animation style often veered towards unintentional(?) body horror. The absurd humor of the series sometimes extended past amusing and into the nightmarish. Mostly, the show's gags often seemed to (barely) disguise a fetishic quality that managed to make even a full-blown freak like me pretty uncomfortable. 

I want to say that "AoStH's" deeply weird qualities made it interesting but, the truth is, this show was mediocre and forgettable more often than not. In a year, if you asked me what episodes like "The Robotnik Express" or "Sno Problem" were about, I doubt I could tell you without re-reading my reviews. The show relied upon deeply repetitive writing, often repeating the same gags several times in the same episode. Sonic putting on a disguise to fool Scratch and Grounder or Robotnik getting humiliated at the end of every episode weren't exactly rock solid jokes to begin with, much less when repeated over and over again. The writers themselves were clearly hindered by this reliance on formula, which is why so many episodes were based around introducing some new bozo for the static characters to bounce off of.

The show's commitment to overbearing wackiness, a brute force attempt to wrangle laughs out of the tiny children in the target audience, was usually incredibly annoying to this old man's old eyes. Once again, I'm forced to acknowledge that I am not the target audience of a "Sonic"-related product. If you were wondering why so many of these reviews degraded into grasping-at-straws psychological readings of the characters or world, it's because there was so little for me to latch onto.

Still, I have read defenses of "AoStH," that it was consistently amusing in a sub-"Looney Tunes" style fashion. The amount of memes the program has spawned is certainly evidence of how durable some people find its style of humor. Considering the show's long afterlife in reruns and syndication, I'm guessing it had the most reach of all the early "Sonic" cartoons. If nothing else, "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" definitely has its place in "Sonic" history. 

There are, I suppose, episodes and moments were I enjoyed this show. A couple stick out in my memory as of higher quality than most. The Quest for the Chaos Emeralds four-parter was inconsistent but, at its best moments, showed this program was capable of a little more than its usual antics. "Mass Transit Trouble" and "The Mobius 5000" are other episodes that suggested this show had more dramatic potential than most of its installations seemed to entail. I've commented before that the Tails-centric episodes – "Tails' New Home," "Full-Tilt Tails," and especially "Tails Prevails," which is probably my favorite episode of the entire series – seemed to have a little more dramatic gristle than most. 

Looking back at my reviews, I think "Robotnik's Rival" and "The Little Merhog" are the episodes that made me laugh the most. (I also gave positive scores to "Pseudo-Sonic" and "Subterranean Sonic" but I think I overrated them in my early hope this project would be less painful than I knew it would be.) But that's only 11 out of a 65 episode run, which does seem to prove my theory that most of this show was forgettable, mediocre dross. Besides, when I think back to "AoStH," I'm not going to remember the "good" episodes. I'm going to remember the terrifying ones: The complete abandonment of reason in "Boogey-Mania," the baffling cartoon logic of "Too Tall Tails," the disturbing psychological trauma of the Momma Robotnik arc, and the full-bore kinkiness of "Zoobotnik." These are the gifts/curses this program bestowed upon me. 

With little else to say about this series, let me resort to the pop culture writer's last defense: Raw data. Ya see, as I've been watching this show, I kept track of certain reoccurring aspects. I did this to satiate my own curiosity but maybe you'll be interested. So, in case you wanted to know: 

Sonic says "I'm waiting" 25 times throughout the show. Tails says the catchphrase in “Best Hedgehog.” Robotnik says it in “Magnificent Sonic” and “MacHopper.” Sonic's identical ancestor, Masonic, says it in “Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme.” I was surprised this wasn't more common, as I seem to recall him saying this in every episode as a kid. His other catchphrases – "up, over, and gone," "let's speed, keed" – were probably just as commonly reoccurring but I didn't think to count those.

Less surprising is this next statistic: Robotnik says "I hate that hedgehog," or a close variation on it, 65 times. He doesn't say it in every episode. “Best Hedgehog,” “Robolympics,” “High-Stakes Sonic,” “Blank-Headed Eagle,” “Momma Robothink's Birthday,” “So Long Sucker,” “Trail of the Missing Tails,” and “Coachnik” are the episodes were he doesn't say this phrase. But sometimes he'll say it more than once in other episodes, making up for lost time. (His mummy ancestor says the phrase in "Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme" and “Prehistoric Sonic.”) 

How about this one? Sonic is shown eating, or is heavily implied to have eaten, 29 chili dogs throughout the course of this show. In “Robotnik Jr.” and “Sonic's Song,” he eats a hot dog without chili. There are actually far more episodes that reference chili dogs without actually depicting Sonic eating any. For example, he orders 2 chili dogs in “Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme” but is never shown eating them. It seems his love of meat-sauce bathed beef tubes is more informed than shown.

Lastly, I kept a running tally of all the many disguises Sonic wore throughout “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog.” He wore 85 different disguises and costumes in total. His favorite get-up seems to be the firefighter, construction worker, and highway patrolmen, which he all donned three times. Other repeat offenders include a doctor, a cook, an old time-y beat cop, a military general, a pizza delivery boy, a generic artist, a little old lady, and the weirdly specific “Dr. Pimento.” 

There's also some borderline examples, such as Sonic's identical ancestors. The only episodes Sonic doesn't wear some sort of costume or disguise in are “Submerged Sonic,” “Robolympcis,” “Trail of the Missing Tails,” “The Last Resort,” “The Magic Hassle,” “Baby-Sitter Jitters,” “Road Hog,” “Fast and Easy,” “Tails' Tale,” and “Hero of the Year.” If you're curious what everyone of these looks like, the Sonic News Network Wiki has got you covered.

And so I close the book on "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog," at least for now. Good-bye Long John Baldry and Scratch's annoying laugh. Good-bye educational segments of dubious merit. Good-bye Momma Robotnik, Professor Von Schlemmer, and Wes Weasly. I'll, uh, miss you, I guess. Before returning to the doldrums of DiC-era "Sonic" animation, I'll be making a brief stopover in Japan. Look for that soon. Thanks for reading, guys.