Sonic X, Episode 1.10: Unfair Ball

Sonic X, Episode 1.10: Unfair Ball

Japanese Title: Fierce Fight! Sonic Baseball Team

Japanese Air Date: June 8th, 2003

U.S. Air Date: November 8th, 2003

Baseball may pretentiously declare itself to be America's pastime but this tedious, awful sport is actually far more beloved overseas than it is in the States. In Japan, baseball actually is a national obsession. Baseball was introduced to Japan by an American English professor in 1878. Twenty years later, a group of Japanese high school students would beat a team of pro athletes and the sport's popularity would explode. A pro-league was established in the 1920s and the country would never look back. Baseball remains Japan's most popular sport even though it is, as previously established, completely terrible. Despite having nothing to do with the property, the country's uncontrollable fetish for the sport is presumably why the tenth episode of "Sonic X" is about baseball. 

Tails is joy-riding around in the X-Tornado when he notices the Chaos Emerald within is uncontrollably drawn towards a baseball diamond. There, he meets Albert Butler, the groundskeeper of the diamond which is about to be demolished, despite the years Butler has spent maintaining the diamond's natural grass. Tails soon discovers Butler has the Blue Chaos Emeralds, which sends a signal into the sky. Eggman and Sonic's buddies arrive shortly afterward, deciding to play a baseball game to decide who will get the Emerald. Eggman, naturally, is not interested in playing fair. 

Baseball sucks and is the worst of all professional sports, all of which are horrible. The characters on "Sonic X" doesn't seem to realize this. Apparently, baseball is the only thing Chuck loves more than robotics. Mr. Tanaka believes entirely in the seriousness of the sport. Mr. Butler's situation is treated with utmost sincerity. Naturally, the spectacle of Sonic and Eggman playing a game in the abandoned diamond attracts a crowd, which saves Albert's job and earns him much respect. There are several jokes based around the rules of baseball, all of which are lost on me as the rules of baseball are complete fucking gibberish. 

Luckily, most of "Unfair Ball" — is that a pun? I have no idea — is focused on cartoon absurdity. Eggman's team of baseball playing robots cheat in ridiculous ways, by extending their limbs or flying into the air. Amy smashes several players via hitting too hard apparently. Pretty sure that would be a foul or a penalty or whatever. At one point, Sonic even breaks the fourth wall and acknowledges that this a cartoon and they shouldn't be taking things so seriously. The best joke comes when Knuckles points out how stupid it is that they're playing a game for the emerald, instead of just taking it, which all his friends shake him for. The weirdest joke comes when Cream tells the pitching robot she likes him, causing him to drop the ball. The show even does soft-focus, romantic shading and draws Cream with plump lips in this scene. You guys do realize she's six, right? 

Despite everything pointing towards "Sonic Baseball Team" being one of the goofy filler episodes, this one actually advances the overall story arc for the season. In this episode, we learn that Chaos Emeralds are drawn towards each other like magnets. When put together, the Emeralds shoot blue pillars of light into the sky like the last act of a superhero movie. The episode concludes with Eggman getting away with the Blue Emerald, something everyone is apparently okay with because Butler's job was saved in the process. I was really hoping Knuckles would say "fuck it," fly up there and steal the Emerald back himself. No dice. 

Even in an episode so concerned with slapstick and the employment status of old groundskeepers in dying sports, "Sonic X" must take time to acknowledge Chris Thorndyke's wafer-thin ego. Early on, Chris and his servants are trying to train Sonic and his friends in proper table etiquette. This prompts Sonic to say he can't wait to get the fuck out of here. Even though this should be entirely expected behavior for Sonic, Chris' feelings are hurt. Later, Chris steps up to the mound... or pitch or whatever the fuck it is... and is overwhelmed by his lack of self-confidence. It takes a pep talk from Sonic for Chris to even attempt to swing the bat. See, parents, these are the balls of anxiety and self-doubt you get when you're never around to hug your kids. I bet Chris needs a pep-talk from Sonic when he clogs the toilet or misses the school bus too. 

Also, this is somehow the first episode of "Sonic X" where Tails is seen flying with his tails. Otherwise known as the defining character attribute that he's literally named for. Weird. It's a pretty dumb episode but also far from the worst "Sonic" cartoon about sports, so I won't be too harsh on it. [5/10]