Sonic Boom, Episode 1.40: Tails’ Crush
Original Air Date: August 22nd, 2015
In fandom spaces, there is no concept more commonplace, and contentious, than “shipping.” (A, honestly, kind of dumb abbreviation of “relationshipping.”) The more popular a show, movie, anime, comic book, piece of musical theater, or literally anything is, the more likely you are to find people passionately debating who should be dating and/or screwing who. Nothing makes humans nuttier than romance, so as wild as it is to think about, it’s not surprising that folks manage to get enormously invested in the love lives of people who don’t actually exist. Shipping wars have torn apart many once civil internet communities. Even a lack of actual romance in a story doesn’t stop people from putting enormous amounts of time and energy into manifesting and defending whatever match-up makes them the giddiest.
“Sonic” media being so fractured, and “Sonic” fans being so uniquely impassioned, maybe makes the shipping debates in this fandom more frothing-at-the-mouth insane than the usual level of madness. Just the mere mention of Sally Acorn is enough to set some people off. I think even Sega, seemingly indifferent to most fandom drama, eventually became aware of how bad the shipping issue is. These days, they have an official policy of there being no long-lasting romances between game-originating “Sonic” characters in tie-in media. No matter how passionate the SonAmy or Silvaze crowds are, it's unlikely these pairings will ever actually exist in the "Sonic" games, comics, or whatever. Which is a little funny, when the games are where Amy’s unrequited crush on Sonic and Knuckles and Rouge’s flirtatious relationship began.
Of course, it wasn't always this way. Obviously, the old cartoons and comics are full of love interests for the various "Sonic" characters... Which brings us to the topic of today's review. Sonic having a plethora of potential girlfriends makes sense, because he’s a hyper-confident teenager. Yet what of Tails’ various partners? Despite his official status as a prepubescent child, Tails has had a number of crushes and girls interested in him over the years. Sometimes she’s a plant, sometimes she’s a robotic doppelgänger, sometimes she's inappropriately aged for him. Not to mention the fans have shipped Tails with anyone and anybody. As kind of weird as it is to imagine an eight-year-old cartoon fox with a girlfriend, I get it. Tails is Sonic's sidekick and just as beloved as he is. If the hedgehog sparks intense infatuation with various females, why shouldn't his best buddy? Isn't it only fair?
In its fortieth episode, "Sonic Boom" would add another name to the surprisingly long list of potential romantic partners for Tails. In "Tails' Crush," Sonic is noticing that the young vulpine engineer seems unusually distracted. After the gang notices him making goo-goo eyes at a cute fox girl named Zooey, they all figure out why. Tails is in wuv. Having an analytical mind, he decides to asks his friends on strategies for getting Zooey to notice him and fall for him. None of this goes well, as all his friends have weirdo answers for him. The best advice, that brings Tails and Zooey together, comes from the most unexpected place.
"Tails' Crush" is a classic sitcom setup. Someone who is young and naïve in the ways of romance goes to different people in a group. Everybody gives them wildly different feedback, resulting in many awkward scenarios as the young person attempts to woo the object of their desire. You've definitely seen this play out in fiction before. But there's a reason for that: Having a first crush, and trying to get them to notice you, is a pretty universal event. Similarly, everybody has different approaches that work for them which will frequently (usually) not work for anybody else. We all have different experiences with romance, with failures and successes in attracting partners. Love is a messy, complicated thing and chemistry can be unpredictable. The dating advice industry is enormous but the most common, and aggravating, truth is that "the heart wants what it wants." Whether or not someone is attracted to you, or vice versa, is something we actually have little control over. Yet everyone thinks they know best, everyone thinks what works for them will work for other people, and everyone is desperate for help. So people follow others' techniques in hopes of attracting a mate. When the messy truth is, they are usually just figuring out what about them sparks interest and attraction in a potential partner.
Because sitcoms exaggerate reality in wacky ways, in order to produce laughs, this plays out on TV as a young person doing a bunch of dumbass shit in order to impress their crush. Sonic tells Tails to be "cool," which seems to mostly mean being tauntingly unavailable. Knuckles thinks being hyper-masculine, lifting weights and eating red meat, impresses girls. Amy assures Tails that drippy declarations of romantic longing and poetic complements work the best. Sticks, being a complete lunatic, recommends animalistic displays of colorful plumage. This results in ridiculous comedic moments. Such as Tails totally failing to appear effortlessly cool or absolutely fucking up the romantic poetry. (While dressed as the Phantom of the Opera, which made me snort.) Maybe the best of these predictable, if highly amusing, punchlines is Tails constantly undermining Knuckles' advice to appear macho and tough. This includes an incongruous interest in woodworking, a gag the show runs with in a funny way.
We know all these attempts are going to fail not just because "Tails' Crush" follows a well understood comedic formula. These techniques fail because they don't represent who Tails is. He's not a cool bad boy that intrigues women with his mysteriousness. He's not a sculpted piece of sinew that activates lust. And he's not an eloquent romantic who can charm with pretty words. He's kind of an awkward nerd, truthfully. But Tails is brilliant and brave and adorable. When he squees over a Meh Burger Happy Meal toy or defeats a killer robot with the cool airplane he built, things he would've done anyway, that's what impresses Zooey the most. That's why Eggman's advice of "Be yourself" is what actually works. As frustrating as it can be to hear sometimes, I think this cliché nugget of wisdom is the best dating advice you can get. The right person will be attracted to who you are, for all the unique individual qualities you have.
As wacky as it gets, this is still one of the most down-to-Earth episodes of "Boom" yet. Most of it is devoted to Tails being adorably dorky. When he sees Zooey, his tails start to spin and he floats up into the air. That's both a funny little gag and a good visual representation of what it feels like when you're crushing on someone. Tails' youthful awkwardness, honestly, is more charming here than it probably would be in reality. Tails' fans like it when he's being a fuzzy little guy, which is probably why this episode is more popular than the one where he wants to fuck his airplane. Zooey clearly already seems to like him, as she gets friendlier and slightly giggly whenever she's around him. Watching these two kids work towards each other is pretty gosh darn cute.
I do wish Zooey was more fleshed-out though. Tails' object of infatuation is named for the new millennium's prototypal manic pixie dream girl, Zooey Deschanel. Yet I don’t think Zooey is even defined enough to classify as that trope. What do we actually learn about Zooey in this cartoon? Well, she's a female, with a very traditionally feminine style of dressing and accessorizing. And she likes Tails! And, uh, um... Well, we see her shopping for fruit in one scene. But that's pretty much it. I get that this cartoon has limited time to explore its character but they probably should've given Zooey more of a personality than this.
She really does just exist as a plot device for Tails to have a puppy-dog crush on. In the last act, he rescues her from Eggman's robot and she immediately rewards him with a kiss. Not to accuse "Sonic Boom" as a show, or Reid Harrison as a writer, of being sexist or anything. but stories like this where the female character just exists as a prize for the male hero to win, who then hands out romantic attention as a reward, look pretty antiquated in 2023. I can't imagine it looked much better in 2015.
The episode around her seems to be among "Boom's" most popular installments as well. I don't think this is just because giving Tails a love interest was going to instantly catch the most obsessive fans' eyes. This is a likable, amusing episode. There's a decent number of laughs, including a really funny subplot where Eggman is aggravated with the local postal service. (Another example of "Boom" contrasting its superheroic characters with utterly mundane frustrations.) The script balances the typical "Boom" wackiness with more character centric sequences. It's a mechanically well constructed episode too, telling a complete story. If Harrison and the rest of the team had actually bothered to give Tails' titular crush an actual personality, I probably would've given it an 8/10 instead of the [7/10] I'm giving it instead.
Meh. I thought this one was pretty trite. I guess I just seen this plotline too many times in other shows to get invested.
ReplyDeleteI also wish that Zooey had more personality. Unfortunately she doesn't gain any depth as the show goes on. In fact she just settles as a background character, with her relationship with Tails being mentioned occasionally.
This is also Colleen O'Shaughnessey's fav episode of the show. Not hard to see why. One of the lines in this episode, 'Catch ya on the flip flop!" has been her go to when it comes to meeting fans and signing merch and the like. That's pretty cute.