Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 155

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 155
Publication Date: November 2005

With Karl Bollers bullied out of the book, Ken Penders was allowed to claim Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic as more-or-less his own. For some reason, for his first act as sole head writer, he returned to the childish romantic melodrama that characterized the awful Anti-Sonic switcharoo. Penders' continued bumbling through the love lives of Sonic and company is baffling, for a few reasons. But mostly because the love story between Knuckles and Julie-Su was actually one of the better aspect of Ken's “Knuckles” series. Maybe Ken's obvious echidna favoritism played a role in that or, perhaps, his skills have just degraded with age? Either way, “Line of Succession,” the story arc beginning in issue 155, is another notorious stinker.

The story begins with King Acorn and Queen Alicia returning home, following their long trip abroad. Instead of doing something interesting with that, the failed diplomacy trip is brushed aside with a few lines of dialogue. Anyway, it turns out that Antoine – or rather Anti-Antoine, still masquerading as the real deal – has been poisoning the king. His health failing, the King informs Sally that the time has come for to ascend to the throne. And she can't do that unless she's married, with Antoine being chosen as her suitor. Which is all according to the villain's plan. When Sonic hears this news, he's pretty upset.

We've known Antoine's evil double has been living in his shoes for at least five issues now. Antoine's gradual asshole-ification has been going on for at least a year, inside and outside the book. After all that, the comic has finally gotten around to providing some insight to Anti-Antoine's master plan. Essentially, he's been planning to murder the king and take the crown for himself. Which is admittedly a more nuanced plan then Anti-Sonic's scheme to score with as many chicks as possible. Anti-Antoine even gets a decent action beat, when he pins Sonic with his sword and kicks him into a river. But I'm not sure why it took so long for the wicked coyote – or the writers, for that matter – to get around to doing this.

Sadly, most of “Line of Succession” is devoted to brain dead romantic melodrama. Of all the book's misbegotten love triangles, the Sonic/Sally/Antoine triangle has been dead and buried for the longest period of time. Even that bullshit about the King insisting Sally marry Antoine has been a moot point for a while. Remember when Max flat-out told Sally he was fine with her dating Sonic? That character development goes out the window here, as the King dismisses Sally's relationship with the hedgehog as a silly bit of juvenilia. At least Anti-Antoine doesn't actually feel anything for Sally, wanting to marry her strictly for the sake of power. But it's still dumb.

Give credit where it's due. At least Princess Sally gets a smidgen of agency. After her dad informs her that she'll marry Antoine, Sally is understandably aghast. After the required amount of hand-wringing and tears that has sadly become typical for Sal, she thinks the situation over. She decides to go through with the marriage, not because she's forced into it, but because it's her duty as the People's Princess and the leader of Knothole. Yes, some nudging from Antoine helps her come to this conclusion. But it's something. She's not entirely a pawn in the plot, pushed around by the whims of the writer.

Sadly, the melodramatic shenanigans do not end there. The issue opens with Tails walking in on Sonic and Fiona making out. As the fox is still crushed on Fiona, from his encounter with the robotic version so long ago, it's a harsh moment for him. The Tails/Fiona thing has been simmering for a while so it's disappointing that it ends so curtly. Especially since Sonic and Fiona have never previously been an item. Furthermore, I'm not a fan of the book continue to push Sonic as a lady's man. Later in the issue, he refers to Bunnie as “babe,” suggesting there's still some sexual tension between them. I don't know why Ken wrote Sonic as such a cad. That was Anti-Sonic that was screwing around on everybody, right? Why is the real deal still doing this?

Just as Sally and Antoine are walking down the aisle, we head to our back-up story. Dulcy the Dragon takes center stage in “The Price of Flame.” At some point in the past, the Freedom Fighters asked Dulcy to light a ceremonial fire. The dragon flies away, tears in her eyes. In flashback, Dulcy reveals her past and how she lost her ability to breath fire.

Dulcy the Dragon has long been a much neglected part of the “Sonic” supporting cast. So it's nice for her to get a story arc to herself. Further more, in all this time, we've never learned much about Dulcy's background. Mike Gallagher finally fills us in. After her family was robotocized, Dulcy lived in an underground colony of dragons called Vesuvio. Contact with the outside world was forbidden. When it was discovered that Dulcy had been sneaking out to fight Robotnik, she's punished with exile. Her fire breathing abilities are also stymied, by switching out her black “scorch ring” with a power inhibiting gold Power Ring. Now, she's returning home for the first time in years.

It's as decent a backstory as any and explains why we've met so few other dragons. But Mike Gallgher's approach could've been better. As Dulcy flies back to Vesuvio, she explains her past in detail. Which amounts to a series of panels, large narration boxes overhead. It's doesn't feel much like a story, working more like an encyclopedia listing. In other words: it's another heaping load of exposition.

Worst yet, I'm pretty sure Mike wrote this story just to clear up a minor continuity error. In the past, Dulcy's nose ring has been colored as either gold or black. This is explained as Dulcy painting her golden ring black sometimes, in shame over loosing her powers. Really, Mike, we don't care about coloring errors. You don't have to devote a whole story to justifying them.

At least there's no stinky Ron Lim or Al Bigley artwork this time. James Fry draws the cover story. Fry's artwork is confident, full of expression and anime-style movement, but he's having a bit of an off-day. He even utilizes some Jon Grey style big, cartoony emotions a few times, to mixed affect. Art Mawhinney draws the back-up story. Dulcy, being a very cute character, looks good in his style. I really love the flashbacks to Dulcy's early days with the Freedom Fighters, which really brings us back to the SatAM years. Of course, lending such a cute style to a horde of multi-colored dragons does have the side effect of making this story feel like an episode of “Dragon Tales” sometimes. That's not Art's fault. Probably.

The cover story is less outright bad then it's just mostly mediocre and unnecessary, with several really obnoxious writing flaws. The back-up shoves too much info, awkwardly, into too small a place. It's pretty lame and another example of how badly this book dragged in 2005. But let's appreciate small miracles. At least the real Antoine will be back soon. This other guy is a prick. [5/10]

Sonic X: Issue 2

Sonic X: Issue 2
Publication Date: October 2005

In its second issue, “Sonic X” seems to establish its tone more concretely. You see, kids, this is suppose to be the funny Sonic comic. The story is light weight and silly, filled with many goofy moments and gags that intentionally lean on the fourth wall. From what I've seen of the actual “Sonic X” cartoon, it is slightly more serious than this. Then again, I'm even less familiar with the English dub. Maybe it's sillier? Anyway, on with the review.

Following last issue's adventure, Sonic and friends are invited by the fucking President on a special mission. The unique energy signature of a Chaos Emerald has been detected under the sea, within a well known pirate ship wreck. Sonic, Rouge, and some government secret agent chick named Topaz go diving. Tails and Grandpa Chuck stay above water. Turns out the whole journey is a trap. Eggman, utilizing the power rings he grabbed from Sonic last time, has replicated the signal. Once Sonic and friends are inside the ship, Eggman sends a new set of robots – robot dragons piloted by komodo dragons – to attack.

We're only on the second issue of “Sonic X” and a formula is already setting in. This is how it goes: Eggman designs some new ridiculous robots – both have been animal themed thus far – to destroy Sonic. While the hedgehog and his friends are out on some sort of journey, they are attacked by the aforementioned robots. The fight continues until it reaches its most dramatic point. Sonic then grabs a Power Ring, which affords him the extra strength to wreck Eggman's new machine. I have no idea if “Sonic X” will stick with this story outline throughout its entire forty issue run but I can imagine it wearing thin quickly.

Issue 2's sole story is brilliantly entitled “See Sonic! Sea Battle! See Sonic Sea Battle!” This points towards the jokey tone. Writer Joe Edkin frequently employs meta gags in order to cover up a sloppy plot. When the President mentions that Sonic's next mission will take him to a sunken pirate wreck, he references having a similar adventure once before. This is apparently a reference to an episode of the show. Edkin hastily attempts to cover this up but the truth, that he's recycling plots from the cartoon, is apparent. Some other gags are better. Such as the ship being named “The MacGuffin,” an amusing gag that isn't paid too much undue attention.

I'm willing to go along with most of Edkin's silliness. There's even some gags that border genuinely absurd. Such as the surly komodo dragons or Eggman's robot henchmen whispering to themselves, how disinterested they are in their boss' mad plan. Yet there's one gag that steps over the line for me. In the final act, a mysterious figure appears and removes the batteries from the komodo-bots. This frees the power rings, allowing Sonic to save the day. Who is this intervening stranger? It is the ghost of the Pirate Captain, a character so otherwise unimportant he doesn't even have a Mobius Encyclopedia entry. It's a joke but gags shouldn't resolve the plot like that.

Last time, Sonic's supporting cast barely got any page space. Issue 2 does give a little development to the hedgehog's friends. Rouge's thought bubbles frequently inform us that she's only going on this mission because she might get a shiny jewel out of this. The stand-out sequence comic involves a shark attacking the boat. Topaz – a character I'm otherwise unfamiliar with – fights the shark off with a candelabra that is also provided by the ghost pirate. Knuckles puts in an appearance too, doing more then just brooding on his island.

Truthfully, aside from a random appearance by an angry shark, my favorite aspect of “See Sonic Sea Battle” is the simmering sexual tension between the cast members. Topaz – who spends the entire comic in a skin tight diving suit, it must be noted – is the only living thing Rouge actually expresses concern or interest in. The bat declares that no one will hurt the woman, as if she belongs to her or something. When Knuckles jumps in, by punching a robot dragon in the face, Topaz outright proclaims that she would hit on the echidna if he was human. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but I couldn't help but notice these things.

Artist Tim Smith III returns from the first issue. His pencils remain competent if slightly flat. Sonic in his diving gear looks a little awkward. The shark barely resembles an actual shark to start. After getting beaten up, the shark looks even weirder. Smith seems have the most difficulty drawing Tails, as the fox looks perpetually baffled. Still, the art is fine, you guys.

The whole comic is fine, you guys. As I said last time, I hope the comic develops a little more complexity as it goes on. This issue is fitfully amusing and has its moments without making much of an impression on the reader. It needed more random shark attacks, I guess is what I'm saying. [6/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 154

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 154
Publication Date: October 2005

I didn't mention it last time, as I was too busy discussing Karl Bollers' in-coming retirement from “Sonic,” but Archie has drafted a new artist to work on their covers. Sanford Greene would draw a few covers for the book before gracefully disappearing. Greene's brief tenure as cover artist is probably due to his underwhelming – some would say garish or “ass ugly” - artwork. Patrick Spaziante would quickly return before soon-to-appear regular artist Tracey Yardley would mostly take over cover duties, with Spaz occasionally putting in an appearance. Anyway, on with the show.

The second part of “Songoose” begins with Mina being informed that Sonic and the Freedom Fighters will be acting as her bodyguards. This does not sit well with Ash, Mina's boyfriend/manager. He quickly butts heads with Sonic, believing that his girlfriend still has feelings for the speedy hedgehog. He's not entirely wrong. Personal matters are put aside when Robotnik sends new versions of Heavy and Bomb to attack the concert, endangering everyone's lives.

Ash's doubts aren't without good reasons. As I've pointed out, it's obvious that Mina still has a thing for Sonic. Of course, the problem is that Ash expresses these concerns in the worst way imaginable. Upon hearing that Sonic is going to be Mina's bodyguard, he immediately jumps down the guy's throat. He then confronts Mina in a passive-aggressive fashion, breaking up with her afterwards. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then picks a fight with Sonic. Keep in mind, this happens after the robots attack the concert. When Mina expresses her annoyance with Ash's antics, he starts dropping the love bomb. None of this changes my earlier impression of Ash Mongoose. He's an overly macho, emotionally manipulative asshole.

Of course, Ash just being left an asshole wouldn't be enough for Karl. He has to give the guy a redemptive moment. He ends up saving Mina's life. After an individual Bomb appears in her dressing room, he leaps on the explosion. This seems to prove to Mina that Ash really does loves her. They reconcile in the hospital. (Too bad for Mina that Ash will still be an asshole when he wakes up. That's what abusive boyfriends are like.) Sonic looks on sadly. If you're keeping count, this is roughly the ten thousandth time the comic has buried the Sonic/Mina romance. I think it does stick this time though, thank Christ.

As an action story, “Mongoose” is pretty underwhelming. The army of Bombs are mostly dealt with off-panel by Bunnie, Amy, and Tails. This doesn't make the collection of robotic suicide bombers seem very effective, do they? Heavy doesn't do much better. The bell-shaped 'bot tangos with Sonic briefly. The hedgehog dodges all the attacks easily, further undermining any tension. Sonic utilizes an old trick to defeat Heavy. He spins around, drilling a hole into the ground, dropping the robot into what appears to be well water. It's a move we've seen before, against one of the more uninspired enemies we've seen recently.

The conclusion of “Songoose” makes it clear that the assassination attempts were never the main point of the story. After his second attack is deflected, Robotnik simply gives up on this particular mission. Karl tries to wring some humor out of this, with Robotnik dismissing Mina's second album songs as inferior. It still comes off as a cheap, lazy conclusion. I can gleam the truth. This two-parter was more about squeezing more drama out of the Sonic/Mina romance, not about Eggman trying to kill the pop princess.

In the back pages, we greeted to a Ken Penders' joint named “More Than Meets the Eye.” The Knothole Brain Trust – Tommy, Rotor, Tails, Uncle Chuck, Snively, Fiona for some reason – are studying a sample of nanites. Tommy ponders on the meaning of life before taunting the nanites into attacking him. The microscopic machines then bond with the back of the turtle's shell. Somehow, he forms a neurological connection with the nanites. Tommy discovers that, just by thinking something, the machines will make it, allowing him to sprout wings or a jet pack from his shell or some such bullshit.

By this point, the fandom remained hostile to Tommy Turtle's return. The simple fact was the character had no reason to be in the book. Instead of just killing him off again, Archie's own brain trust insisted on keeping Tommy around. First, they tried to turn him into Rotor's neat freak partner. When that failed to make him interesting, Penders touched upon a far dumber idea: Turn the Turtle into a fucking Transformer. It's a bad idea, as Tommy's problem wasn't his lack of superpowers. Giving him new abilities does nothing to resolve the character's biggest issue. That he has no business being in the book in the first place. Setting up this new ability – in a very awkward, borderline nonsensical manner – is all “More Than Meets the Eye” accomplishes.

Art wise, all of issue 154 looks pretty shitty. I said Ron Lim was getting better last time. Any ground he gained previously, he looses once more. “Songoose: Part 2” is probably Lim's worst pencils in quite some time. His crowd shots are embarrassing, as the collection of Mobians look totally blank-eyed. Sonic, Sally, and Mina seemingly spend the entire story with static, “annoyed” expressions on their faces. The action is incredibly sloppy, with Sonic and Heavy bending off-model several times. Penders draws “More Than Meets the Eye” himself. As usual, his pencils are stiff, disproportionate, and blank faced. Ken really doesn't know how to draw turtles, as Tommy's appearance changes from panel to panel. The late in the story action is as lifeless as always.

It's fitting that Karl Bollers' final contribution to the book would revolve around Mina, by far his most enduring addition to the “Sonic” cast. I guess he wanted the final word on a character that clearly meant something to him. Karl's legacy on the book is a mixed one. He wrote some of my favorite stories and some of my most hated. At his best, he was probably the most ambitious, insightful writer “Sonic” ever had. At his worst, he wrote pointless plot twists and frustrating romantic melodrama. Either way, I am sad to see him go.

(Though the story has a happy ending. Unlike some former Sonic writers, Karl would go on to bigger and better things, eventually earning an Eisner Award nomination for “Watson & Holmes,” his modern update of Arthur Conan Doyle's famous detectives. He has also, thus far, not sued Archie for anything.) [5/10]

Sonic X: Issue 1

Sonic X: Issue 1
Publication Date: September 2005

I can't tell you how many times I have tried to get into “Sonic X.” When the English dub premiered, I was in high school. I felt a little self conscious about watching a Saturday morning cartoon back then. I stopped watching after two or three episodes. Since then, I've made at least two other attempts to watch the original Japanese version. Each time, I drift away after a few episodes. This isn't a knock against “Sonic X's” quality. The show ran in syndication many years after its original run, suggesting it was popular. I'm sure that “Sonic X” was the gateway drug for some that SatAM was for me. Someday, I'll watch the whole thing, I swear.

If I have next to no familiarly with “Sonic X,” why am I reviewing the comic book? Originally, I wasn't going to. The series only had one quasi-crossover with the main Archie “Sonic” book, mostly staying in its own continuity. There's really no reason for me to read it, much less review it. However, a combination of my O.C.D. and my professional devotion to you, dear readers, made me change my mind. If I gave “Sonic Live!” and the fucking “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” crossover a fair chance, why not “Sonic X?” Besides, it'll make my Best/Worst List more comprehensive or something.

The first issue of Archie's “Sonic X” tie-in features a few info bubbles, detailing the basic premise of the cartoon. The short version: Sonic and his friends got zapped from their world to Earth, where they shacked up with Chris Thorndyke, a rich kid, and his scientist grandpa. Issue 1 features the story “Saving and Groans.” In it, Dr. Eggman realizes these humans keep their funds inside facilities called "banks." He immediately decides to rob one, utilizing a giant rat robot for the job. By coincidence, Sonic's friends are at the same bank that gets attack. Luckily, Sonic shows up to save the day.

I don't want to put “Sonic X' down too much. But one of the reasons why the show has never clicked with me, personally, is it strikes me as a more simplified version of Sonic and his friends. Sonic is a speedy, super-good guy with minimal 'tude. Tails is childish, occasionally ingenious, but also something of a klutz. This is displayed in “Saving and Groans” when he drops a bunch of Power Rings on the floor. In his one appearance here, Knuckles is more serious then Sonic, refusing to abandon his post on Angel Island for any reason. Amy is Sonic's fawning fan girl. Cream the Rabbit – thus far unseen in Archie's main book – just comments on events as they happen, being even more childish than Tails.

I don't want to call it the kiddie version of “Sonic the Hedgehog.” (That's “Sonic Schoolhouse,” if we're being totally technical.) But it's obviously a softer, less serious take on these characters. Take at look at Eggman, for one example. He petulantly whines about humanity's refusal to acknowledge his genius. He's utterly baffled by the Earthly exchange of money and goods. After activating his rat robot, he sings a few lyrics of Michael Jackson's “Ben.” Which is, admittedly, a totally unexpected reference. The book doesn't stop there, as Eggman also has two comic relief henchmen, a pair of robots named Decoe and Bocoe. It's occasionally funny, especially the robot's reaction to an ATM or Irish-accented cop, but the writing is clearly aiming for a younger demographic.

If fans are critical of any aspect of “Sonic X,” it's the cartoon exclusive characters. Chris Thorndyke is a frequent target for fan derision, with his grandfather not being much better liked. In issue 1 of “Sonic X,” Chris doesn't come off as any more whiny, cutesy, or obnoxious then Tails or Cream. A few pages are devoted to Chris being reunited with his parents, who are frequently away from home for some reason, but it doesn't amount to much. (I'm also not sure what to make of Mr. Tanaka and Ella, Chris' racial minority servants.) More annoying is Sam Speed, a cocky race car driver who is apparently related to Chris. Sam is obsessed with beating Sonic's speed but always fails to best him. I'm not sure why the issue opens with this. Is Sam Speed going to become important later?

I'm not sure if “Sonic X” becomes more serialized as it goes on but “Savings and Groans” is a stand alone story. The action is saved for the back half of the book. There is a certain goofy appeal to a giant rat robot shooting missiles from its back and laser beams from its eyes. Amy and Tails attempt to fight off, granting some determined toughness to the pink hedgehog. Sonic bests the rat-bot in a few minutes, struggling all of once. He also allows Eggman to get away at the end. But it's not a bad bit of action.

A totally different staff from the main book handles the creative duties on “Sonic X.” Somebody named Joe Edkin writes the script. Somebody named Tim Smith III draws the issue. Smith's artwork closely resembles the artwork of the “Sonic X” cartoon. It's totally serviceable. Smith seems to especially enjoy drawing Eggman and his minions, all of him look appropriately cartoony. Smith's artwork is also slightly flat. His backgrounds are a bit drab and panels devoted to characters talking are a snore. But it looks fine.

So what do I think of the first issue of the “Sonic X” comic? It's... Fine. That's more-or-less how I react to the cartoon, as well. Don't hate it, don't love it, aren't immediately sucked in. But it's inoffensive and relatively well executed. Hopefully, the book will get a little more interesting as forty whole issues of simply fine stories might get a little dull after a while... [6/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 153

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 153
Publication Date: September 2005

Issue 153 begins a story arc called “Songoose,” revolving around Mina Mongoose and her music. That songs feature prominently in this is fitting. Issue 153 would be the swan song for Karl Bollers' involvement in Archie's “Sonic” series. Once one of the book's best writers, Karl would write his share of stinkers, receiving some not-unfair blame for the comic's Dork Age. Bollers' exit is mostly blamed on increasingly common arguments with fellow head writer Ken Penders. Though I feel the book's recent dip in quality must've informed Karl's decision. Whatever the reason, “Songoose” would be the beginning of the end of Bollers' stint on “Sonic.”

Mina the Mongoose is coming to Knothole to perform a big concert. The Freedom Fighters hope it will rise the spirits of everyone around town. Instead, Nack the Weasel appears in the crowd and attempts to assassinate Mina. Once captured, he admits why. Robotnik hates the mongoose's infectiously catchy tunes and demands her head on a platter. Realizing the dictator won't stop with one failed attempt, Sally assigns Sonic to be the pop star's personal bodyguard.

The reasoning behind Robotnik wanting Mina dead is kind of cute. After the weasel gets tossed in prison, realizing his ex-partners are there and ready to kick his ass, he immediately weasels out his employer. We are then greeted to four highly amusing panels devoted to Robotnik hearing one of Mina's song, the tune getting stuck in his head, and being tormented by the number's persistent presence in his brain. This recalls the comic's earlier, goofier days, a pleasant respite the recent romantic entanglements and grimness of Bunnie being robo-raped. (Which I guess shows you how dark the book has gotten, when the attempted assassination of a pop star is actually considered a more whimsical element.)

I do wish the actual assassination was carried out a little better. Nack sneaks into Mina's concert, wearing sunglasses and a trench coat, a not exactly inconspicuous fashion choice. He shoots a fiery blast from a weird handheld blaster, missing horribly and setting a palm tree ablaze. Sonic then rushes Mina out of the way and quickly bonks Nack on the head into unconsciousness. Weirdly, three whole panels are devoted to Bunnie kicking the flaming tree into a near-by lake, as if it posed ans equal a threat as the murderous weasel. The whole sequence mostly makes Nack seem incompetent, making you wonder why Robotnik hired him in the first place.

With Mina's return to singing, the lingering attraction between her and Sonic also returns. I don't know how many times the book has buried that one – at least three times, by my count? - but it's the subplot that just won't die. Ash is clearly jealous of Sonic, while the blue hedgehog clearly continues to inspire Mina's lyrics. That's not the only tension in the air. In one panel, Tails awkwardly attempts to ask Fiona out on a date, still holding a torch for the vixen. Hoping to save the little guy's heart, Sonic instead invites the whole group to the concert. This leads to Fiona talking about how hard it was for her to forgive Sonic, for abandoning her at that Robotnik prison camp years ago. It's not a great scene but is still the most character development Fiona has gotten.

The romantic stuff is admittedly the better handled emotional aspect in this story. “Songoose: Part 1” begins with General D'Coolette watching Sonic and the Chaotix sparing. After a conversation with the King and Queen, still overseas, the old man collapses from some unspecified malady. You'd think this would to a scene of Anti-Antoine, still masquerading as the real deal, responding to this news with a cold heart. Or perhaps walking away from his dad's hospital room, unmoved? This, in turn, would raise the Freedom Fighters' suspicions about what's up with the coyote. Instead, we merely hear Bunnie and Sonic talk about how cold-hearted Antoine has become. Furthermore, these scenes don't really connect with the rest of the issue's story. The book will resolve the Anti-Antoine plot point soon and I can't wait. It's been so dumb, mismanaged so badly.

The cover story's somewhat whimsical tone continues with the back-up, entitled “Fairy Tale or the Adventures of Pirate Sally.” The orphans Sasha, Snaggle, and Rory have come down with a cold. They beg Rosie to tell them a story, to take their minds off their sickness. The nanny spins a yarn about a good pirate named Sally. After an elf version of Tails literally falls out of the sky, he tells Sally's crew a story about how one of his tails was stolen by the minion of an evil wizard. On their journey to retrieve the kid's tail, Sally will encounter a brave hedgehog knight, a dark rider, a troll, and an evil wizard.

“Fairy Tale” is silly but it's also pretty cute. The fantasy fiction spins on Sonic and friends aren't especially clever. It's weird that Robotnik is turned into the evil wizard while Ixis Naugus – an actual evil wizard – is relegated to a one panel cameo. Rouge, appearing as the Rogue Assassin, and Mogul as a troll get similarly small roles. However, the image of Sally as an eye-patch wearing pirate, having adventures with an elf Tails and a knight Sonic, is fun. The five page length, with two of those pages devoted to Rosie telling the kids the story, isn't nearly enough time to explore the fantasy setting. I do like the kids criticizing the holes in Rosie's story, a funny moment.

Adding to my enjoyment of “Fairy Tale” is some awesome pencils from Art Mawhinney. He makes Sally as a pirate look surprisingly cool. The action scenes, while brief, are well orchestrated. Art's cute style is especially well suited to this story. The orphans look adorable. So do Sally and the gang in the bed time story. After they've been broken up for a year, it touches my heart to see Sonic and Sally nearly kiss, in Art's SatAM-esque style. Even if it is in a non-canon fantasy stories. Art's excellent work is certainly a step-up from Ron Lim's work on the first tale. Though Lim does pull off a decent panel of Nack or Mina, his characters remain noodle-limbed and wide-eyed. Even this represents an improvement for Lim, as his action scenes have a little more pop to them then usual.

I suppose this issue is also the swan song for Romy Chacon, as “Fairy Tale” appears to be his final credit on the book. Chacon was a far more uneven writer then Bollers, though I suppose I'll miss him too. The cover story has its moments and the back-up is cute, meaning issue 153 is actually one of the better “Sonic” comics to be published in 2005, even if it's still just shy of mediocre. (In other news: The annoying habit of Archie including extended advertisements in the middle of the book continued with 153. Midway through the issue is a five page insert inviting you to buy “The Batman” pasta from Campbell's. Thankfully, and obviously, this is clipped from the digital version.) [6/10] 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 152

 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 152
Publication Date: August 2005

Ken Penders' decision to turn Sonic into a philandering Lothario, romancing every single girl in Knothole except his ex-girlfriend, was not well received by fans. Unsurprisingly, the die hard “Sonic” nerds did not enjoy seeing their hero portrayed as a double-dealing sleazeball. Despite the reveal that it was Sonic's mirror universe counterpart behind the seductions, fans were still pissed. So what did Archie do? Have Spaz draw up a cover seemingly celebrating Sonic's newfound status as a womanizer, encouraging “the playa” to play on. Readers were not amused. Most insultingly, the cover has little to do with the actual content of this issue. For one thing, Rouge is on the cover, despite being absent in the comic.

Issue 152 actually begins with the back story, “Engage!” Robotnik, growing increasingly frustrated that Sonic continues to foil his plans, inadvertently gives A.D.A.M.'s full reign to do whatever he sees fit. The computer virus decides to unleash a collection of nanites. The grey goo spreads across the countryside, encroaching on the Great Forest and endangering Lupe and the Wolf Pack.

I don't know why Ken decided to designate “Engage!” as its own story. The five pager plays out as nothing but a prologue to the issue's main story. All it really does is set up the Nanites as 152's main threat, explaining why they're in the book. (It doesn't explain why Robotnik had a collection of nanites lying around, though I've always theorized that roboticization involves nanite technology.) Ken throws Lupe and the Wolf Pack into the story in an attempt to add a human element. All it really does is remind us that Lupe is still around, organic once more, roaming the countryside but not contributing to the story.

With that out of the way, we move on to the main event, a story seriously entitled “Sonic's Angels.” Rotor and the rest of Knothole's brain trust immediately recognize the nanites as a seriously threat. A team composed of Sonic, Bunnie, Mina, Fiona, and Amy are sent to investigate. What they find is a massive nanite construct on the edge of the forest. After exploring the building, they discover the previously M.I.A. Snively is already there, looking for a solution. The situation turns grimmer when the nanites attempt to absorb Bunnie.

The very dumb gimmick behind “Sonic's Angels” is evident in the title. For whatever reason, this story features Sonic's collection of romantic conquests going on a mission with him. There's no in-universe reason for this. Mina has been retired from Freedom Fighting for quite some time, instead focusing on her musical career. Amy and Fiona at least have field experience, though I'm not sure why they were singled out over Tails or Antoine. Only Bunnie, as the resident bruiser, makes much sense. If Penders was trying to play up the romantic tension between the group, he must've forgotten that the real Sonic didn't screw around with all these women. For some reason, Sonic hasn't informed Sally or the others that he unwillingly traded places with his evil doppelganger recently. You'd think that conversation would've come up at some point.

That's all very dumb but it's not the most egregious thing about issue 152. Bunnie is captured by the nanites. Not understanding that half her body is organic, they attempt to adsorb the cyborg. The abduction is framed like a horror movie. Black, greasy arms grab Bunnie and drag her off. What happens next brings more unnerving connotations to mind. Bunnie is pinned to a table. Her cybernetic limbs are melted into goo. Robotic probes touch her body, including her swimsuit areas. Her left eye disappears mid-way through the book. Most disturbing are the silent tears streaming down her face, the obvious torment and anguish she's feeling. Does this remind you of anything? Introducing a metaphorical, practically literal rape into a kids' book is in questionable taste. Subjecting Bunnie, one of the series' most beloved characters to this, is especially awful.

Maybe if the story was actually about Bunnie's cybernetic assault, this would have been more excusable. But Ken's script brushes off what happens to Bunnie. Instead, he uses this as an opportunity to boost Sonic. Since the micro robots only understand organic and inorganic, Bunnie's status as both confuses the machines into inactivity. Bunnie could've accomplished this but the script robs her of agency. Bunnie's assault only happens so Sonic can play hero. That may genuinely be the most offensive thing Ken has ever written.

That the rescue is capped off with Bunnie smooching Sonic makes it feel sleazier. Apparently Sonic still hasn't told Bunnie that he's not the one she got cozy with recently. Yet he's all to willing to accept her romantic overture. The kiss is drawn as passionate, accepting, not confused and shocked. (Penders claim that's not how he wrote it, that artist Al Bigley misunderstood but that still doesn't excuse Sonic just going with it.) It's almost as if the hero has intentionally been withholding information because he enjoys the attention the women are giving him. This is, for lack of a better word, incredibly gross.

Does “Sonic's Angels” contribute anything pleasant to the comic's universe? While the nanites would become minor bits of the Archie Sonic lore, their presentation here is confusing. A grey goo scenario would threaten everything. The story runs with this at first before later shifting gears, saying that the nanites only consume mechanical stuff. However, the story does bring Snively back. He's been absent since the “Home” arc and has apparently been working against Eggman. The story ends with him tentatively teaming up with the Freedom Fighters. That's an interesting plot point but one sure to be underutilized. That's the way the book has gone recently.

Issue 154 also has some artwork problems. The usually reliable James Fry draws “Engage!,” after a long absence from the book. Maybe he lost a step or two during his time off. The story's not bad looking but the characters and shading do look slightly off. Jon Gray draws part of “Sonic's Angels.” Gray has improved slightly from the “Return to Angel Island” arc, as the characters are less exaggerated, but I”m still not a fan. Gray's most baffling decision is to draw an American flag in the background of one panel for no reason. Al Bigley, who draws the second half, also showed some improvement recently but his work goes back off the rails this time. His characters frequently appear as disconnected globs of limbs and squinting faces.

Conceptually, this is just another mediocre Ken Penders' joint from one of the comic's worst years. With dumb romantic melodrama, a plot that meanders without much point, and story turns seemingly throw out at random. What happens to Bunnie, and especially how the book handles it, forces me to be much harsher on this one. The biggest insult? The original print version included a five page advertisement for Lego Bionicle in the middle of the book. I know that isn't Ken's fault but it just seals the deal for me. “Sonic's Angels” has earned its title as a legendarily shitty issue. [2/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 151

(Yes, I've read the news today: Archie's "Sonic the Hedgehog" comics have officially been canceled. Since I've already eulogized the book on this blog, I don't have too much say. Click over to the Hedgehogs Can't Swim Tumblr for my latest thoughts about this development.)

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 151
Publication Date: July 2005

There’s no getting around this one: Evil Sonic switching places with his heroic counterpart primarily so he could get his dick wet is one of the worst premises for a “Sonic” story Archie would ever publish. It’s certainly one of the most embarrassing. But here’s how bad things were for the book in 2005: This is actually one of the year’s more readable arcs. Especially coming off the epic suck-fest that was “The Good, the Bad, and the Unknown,” even something as lame as Anti-Sonic’s philandering ways reads as entertaining. Let’s dissect this one a little further, shall we?

Last issue concluded with a horny Anti-Sonic getting a look at Ms. Fanservice Rouge and immediately deciding he needed a slice of that. The bat falls for the line that Sonic knows his way around the Floating Island. The two high tail it for the Chaos Chamber. While Rouge distracts Locke by making out with him, Anti-Sonic sneaks towards the Master Emerald. There, the real Sonic confronts him. The hero hedgehog defeated the Anti-Freedom Fighters in the Mirror Universe and talked them into sending him home. Inevitably, bad guy and hero trade blows. Guess who wins?

“Chaos Emeralds Are Forever” – yeah, that’s another Bond reference from Penders that barely connects – doesn’t do much with its premise. Wouldn’t it have been cool to see Sonic do the same thing to Anti-Sonic’s gang that the evil copy did to his? Sneak among them and manipulate the others towards his goal? (A story about how the evil double’s selfish actions affect the real deal would be nice too.) Instead, Sonic quickly reveals his true identity and goes about stomping the Freedom Fighters’ bad equivalents. Which, by the way, include an Anti-Bunnie, a character previously unseen.

Yet at least good ol’ action is worth a little more then undercooked soap opera antics. I know it was Evil Sonic that the previous issue focused on but, after seeing a blue hedgehog act like such a tool, this issue’s opening sequence – where the Anti-Freedom Fighters beat the shit out of Sonic – is somewhat cathartic. That opening barrage also causes the good hog to turn the tables on his attackers to be a little more satisfying. Sonic’s headbutts, flips, and discombobulating cyclone spins are old tricks but there’s something to be said for that. Half the fight also features him in just his socks, which is sort of funny.

Annoyingly, the story dangles a conclusion to the similar plot concerning Antione before ignoring it. During his fight with the reverse Mobians, we see Antoine’s thoughts bubbles, commenting on how he’s been living in his doppleganger’s place. You’d think this would set up the real Antoine’s return to Mobius. Instead, Sonic cold cocks the coyote and leaves him where he lands. It would be a few more issue before the book got around to resolving that one, even if the opportunity was right there.

The big conclusion is the Sonic-on-Sonic fight at the end. Again, you’d think this would be a good chance to do something mildly clever. What if we were watching a fight where we weren’t sure who the hero was? That would be interesting! Instead, Ken identifies which Sonic is which with some typically thudding dialogue and a few visual clues. But, again, it’s not a bad fight. I’m especially fond of the panel of Evil Sonic doing a handstand into Regular Sonic’s face.

If Archie spent several of the year’s issues forcing Shadow into the book, it seems there was some weird mandate to include Rouge the Bat in this one. Her role in the story is negligible. She essentially gets Evil Sonic onto Angel Island, so that fight can commence. (Of course, there’s no reason that showdown had to take place in the Chaos Chamber.) Otherwise, Rouge’s subplot is vague at best, the character’s objective getting pushed to the point of obscurity. I’m sticking with my theory that Penders wanted Locke to have a hot girlfriend. In this issue, the elderly echidna and the sexy bat get to second base, it appears. Rumor has it that Ken thought Rouge was a little closer to Locke’s age, though that still doesn’t change how kind of gross that particular pairing is.

After a cover story that gets a begrudging, barely passable recommendation from me, let’s move on to “Stargazing,” issue 151’s back-up feature. After awakening in the middle of the night, Princess Sally notices that Nicole’s screen is blank. She walks outside the castle to see a strangely dressed lynx looking up at the night skies. This, she soon discovers, is Nicole. After the computer got a taste of the fleshy life in issue 146’s “Circuit Me,” Nicole decided to create herself a hologram body that would allow her to interact with the physical world. Sadly, she only has the power to project the hologram for a short time. After Nicole’s Mobian form disappears, Sally is left stargazing all by herself.

“Stargazing” is a short tale that would, unexpectedly, end up being an important part of the Archie Sonic mythos. After years as simply Sally’s handheld computer, showing bits and pieces of personality at times, Nicole would soon graduate into a full-fledged characters. And it started here. “Stargazing,” written and drawn by Tania del Rio, is a sweet, quietly observant tale. Nicole’s appreciation for the simple things is touching, especially how it makes Sally regain that appreciation for the blessings she does have. I also like the story’ bittersweet tone. Nicole’s ability to project a body for herself, what it allows her to experience sensation, is wonderful. Yet it’s a short lived experience, giving it more meaning.

Art Mawhinney continues to draw the cover stories and does a pretty good job. The Anti-Freedom Fighters look fittingly comical in his style. While his Rouge still looks a little off, especially in her clashing “Sonic Heroes” outfit, Anti-Bunnie is a welcomed addition to this collection of rogues. As I mentioned, Tania del Rio draws “Stargazing.” del Rio was brought over from the then-anime inspired “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” book. It’s clear she doesn’t quite have a grasp on how to draw the “Sonic” cast. Sally and Nicole have similar, anime-esque eyes and faces, which is a bit off-putting. del Rio’s also gets Sally’s body proportions off several times. Still, it’s serviceable work and doesn’t distract from the story.

I guess “Stargazing” proves that there were a few worthwhile stories published in this book during 2005. The cover story in issue 151 is fairly weak yet I can’t entirely hate it, despite being a disposable plot over all. The back-up story is one of the more touching ones to be published in this book in quite some time. I don’t feel like figuring out what that would even out to, so I’ll split the score again. “Chaos Emeralds Are Forever” barely gets a [5/10.] “Stargazing” gets a [7/10.] I hate to do that but some times these things happens.