Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 96

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 96
Publication Date: April 2001

Well, I guess we’re still doing this, huh? Instead of just moving on and forgetting like we’d all prefer him to, Karl Bollers decided to run with with his bad ideas. Sonic and the Freedom Fighters are still in high school, for some reason. Geoffrey is still hammering his grudge against Sonic home. Sonic and Sally are still being forced apart. Kodos and the juggling plot device of the Sword of Acorn are still plot relevant. At least the Kintobor clan do not appear in this issue.

So here’s the basic facts. Kodos has collapsed following his separation with the Sword last time. Geoffrey sneaks around, trying to figure out why the Warlord was sniffing around Knothole. He immediately places the blame on Sonic, who skillfully dodges the skunk’s investigation. At school the next day, a ShadowBot attacks. Sonic, Mina, and Bunnie attempt to fight off the machine before it begins to talk to them with Uncle Chuck’s voice. Apparently, Chuck sent the robot to contact Sonic. Before the conversation can get any further, St. John fills it full of holes, forcing a more drastic measure from Sonic.

Issue 96 – which is a very poor issue, indeed – is notable for one thing: How hilariously incompetent Geoffrey St. John’s investigation is. First off, it’s not entirely clear why St. John is searching around Knothole for clues. We begin in Dr. Quack’s hospital – which looks distressingly modern – where the duck diagnosed the unconscious Kodos with radiation poisoning. Apparently, between last issue’s conclusion and this one’s beginning, Sonic or someone else took the Warlord to the hospital. For some reason, St. John just assumes the culprit is in the village. Even though Kodos has had no prior alliance with anyone in Knothole.

It’s really just another excuse to further resurrect the Sonic/St. John rivalry, which has otherwise been a moot point since “Brave New World.” The skunk hunts down Sonic in his parents’ house, barges in, and asks him the vague question of “How did he get there?” Sonic provides a vague denial, after which St. John mutters “Blast!” and leaves. What the fuck was that suppose to accomplish? The next scene has St. John admitting to the King that they still know nothing about Kodos. When Hershey suggests maybe blindly pursuing Sonic, despite a total lack of evidence, isn’t the best method, St. John changes the topic. I don’t think Bollers was attempting to paint a portrait of police incompetence, petty abuses of power, and the total ineffectiveness of the state but that’s what we got anyway.

As has sadly been the case for a while now, you can see Karl struggling to introduce some emotional content inside a muddled plot-driven comic. Outside forces are still keeping Sonic and Sally apart. Sadly, this only comes up when St. John mocks Sonic about it and when Sally, once again, is seen pining for the missing Sonic. Mina asks Sonic to tutor her in controlling her super speed, a chance to develop their budding romance. However, Rotor then bumbles into the scene, cutting this interaction short. At that point, Sonic asks Rotor if he’s seen Tails – who has been missing for at least a day, at this point – only to get a negative answer. Before that plot point can go anywhere, the giant robot bumbles into the school, abruptly ending all the other story developments. With all this going on, Bunnie and Nate Morgan are essentially reduced to cameo appearances.

For all his attempts to build on other story threads, Karl only successfully develops one plot point. Sonic discovers that Uncle Chuck has regained his free will, that this falls under the Sword of Acorn’s various healing properties. I somewhat question Chuck’s method of delivering this message. Sending a killer robot to Sonic’s high school, smashing through walls and attempting to grab people, probably wasn’t the best way to contact Chuck’s nephew. This isn’t a case of Sonic and friends assuming the ShadowBot is there to attack them. The robot is immediately smashing walls and tearing up lockers. Gee whiz, Chuck, you couldn’t have sent Sonic a letter or something? Was it necessary to wreck the high school? Still, Sonic learning Chuck’s free will is restored is potentially touching.

Further sinking issue 96 is some truly unfortunate artwork. Nelson Ribeiro, who previously provided some idiosyncratic but decent pencils for Super Special #12, draws some hideous artwork. Each of the characters have giant hands, which is especially apparent on St. John and Hershey. Everyone is given weirdly overexpressive heads and faces. Ribeiro makes a simple sequence of Sonic eating a ball of cereal look horrifying. Bodies are often formless, with Mina and Nate Morgan getting it the worst. His action is very flat and borderline incoherent. I had to look at the panel of Bunnie slamming the ShadowBot through a wall a few times before I understood what was happening. The artist has done okay work before so I guess he was really rushing to hit a deadline or something.

In the back pages, Ken Penders’ Chaos Knuckles epic continues to stretch on and on. Most of “The Chosen One” is devoted to Tails, actually. Merlin Prower and Athair’s floating head argue about what to do with the two tailed fox. Eventually, they reach a consensus and Merlin zaps Tails into his super form. Tails confronts Knuckles, saying he doesn’t want to fight before immediately punching him in the face.

Hey, what’s your favorite part of Ken’s “Knuckles” story? Who here said the convoluted mythology? Or Ken’s inability to accept how flawed Locke, Athair, or the other members of the Brotherhood are? Well, that one person will love “The Chosen One.” The first half of the story is Merlin essentially calling Athair’s floating head on his bullshit just for the mystic to deny how wrong he is. It’s all unnecessary build-up for Merlin transforming Tails into Turbo Tails. If Ken was going to move ahead with that plot point so quickly, why did he bother to have Merlin and Athair argue in the first place?

It’s appropriate that Knuckles is radioactive green at the moment, as his behavior best resembles the Incredible Hulk. He can’t be reasoned with and is just rampaging through various locations. Knuckles is actively attempting to figure out what happened to everyone on the Floating Island – you know, the entire reason this plot point started ten thousand years ago – but anytime he might get a lead on that, he has to freak the fuck out. Turbo Tails offers to help Knuckles but he accuses Merlin of lying instead, forcing Tails to smack the echidna around. And forcing the reader to suffer through the forthcoming fight scene before this plot can actually begin to move again.

Oh yeah, Ron Lim draws the back-up story too and, unsurprisingly, it looks pretty shitty. Issue 96 mostly just leaves me exhausted. The book, in both its main plot and the back-up stories, is endlessly spinning its wheels, throwing a bunch of bullshit around and only succeeding in burying the things we care about. It’s going to get better eventually but this will be the state of things for far too long to come. [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 95

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 95
Publication Date: March 2001

After stopping a month to focus on Sonic’s exciting adventures in high school, Karl Bollers remembers that he’s writing an action comic. Just as soon as Knothole High is introduced, the book passes it by. I’m not sure the school mandate would even show up much after this. Kind of makes you wonder what the point was in the first place? Then again, lots of things with the comic is making me wonder that lately. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Hey, what about issue 95?

Sonic races out of school, eager to be out of the building. Even if Prince Elias is ignoring that he’s a crime fighter, Sonic remembers a tyrant is attempting to wipe them out. As night falls, he sneaks out of his room and goes on a late night run towards Robotropolis. Bunnie, similarly eager to get out, joins him. The two discover that Overlanders are now living in the city, seemingly in peace. Meanwhile, Kodos the Warlord has gone mad, insanely screaming about the Sword of Acorn. In the woods, the two heroes encounter the crazy lion where Uma Arachnis, the spider ninja, proves an unlikely ally.

Sonic and Bunnie don’t normally act as a duo. Usually, the hedgehog is too busy hanging out with Tails. Currently, the two-tailed fox is off on some other adventure. So the cyborg rabbit and Sonic fly over Robotropolis together. I wish there was a little more dialogue and interaction between the two. We mostly get a panel or two, Bunnie commenting on Sonic’s sass or the two wondering about the situation in Robotnik’s city.

 
Ultimately, Bollers is focused on action. Kodos cleaves through trees. Sonic gives the lion a super speed bicycle kick. An amusing moment has Kodos grabbing Bunnie by the ears and swinging her around like Mjolnir. James Fry’s action artwork make these moments go down smoothly.

I haven’t had very nice things to say about the on-going story line about the Kintobors. With issue 95, it looks like that storyline may finally be going somewhere. Snively and his dad are reunited, the bald henchman giving Colin a warm welcome. (Or one that appears warm.) Later, Eggman awakens Snively in the middle of the night, showing him something sinister off-screen. Hope, meanwhile, goes to her grandmother. She tells her about how weird she finds the city but, naturally, nobody listens to the kid. Where is this stuff going? Don’t know. Will it make me care about these people and places? Probably not. But at least it’s finally going somewhere.

Of all the book’s many villains, Kodos and Uma Arachnis have never been the most compelling. After all, they began life as just indistinct henchmen of Ixis Naugus. The writer’s continued attempts to make us care about them have yet to succeed. Kodos being driven insane, seemingly by his separation from the Sword of Acorn, has rendered him a totally personality lacking brute. Uma suddenly developing a sense of honor, saving Sonic from the lion, would be interesting if the character had ever displayed any individuality up to this point. Bollers is going somewhere with this but it’s easily the least interesting of his current plots.

For his flaws, at least Karl is answering questions, albeit slowly. Ken Penders, meanwhile, remains up his own ass. Knuckles has teleported himself onto a snowy mountain top, beneath the Floating Island. Athair zaps Tails to the same location. The fox attempts to reason with the echidna but it’s no use, as Knuckles is overwhelmed by his new powers and anger. The two are next teleported to the Floating Island where events repeat themselves. By the end, Knuckles has knocked Tails unconscious, with the fox being taken to his magician Uncle Merlin for care.

Hey, at least we’re back on the Floating Island, right? Other then that development, the Chaos Knuckles arc continues to move at a snail’s pace. Bringing Tails into the story accomplishes nothing. This once again brings up Tails’ status as the Chosen One, a rarely satisfying plot point the comic has forgotten about for long stretches. Honestly, is an eight year old truly the best person to deal with a rampaging demigod? All he does is get smacked around. Instead of focusing on Knuckles’ quest to find his friends, we shift to Merlin Prowers. Because Penders was truly determined to frustrate our expectations and annoy us. Another batch of crappy Ron Lim art helps none at all.

The comic is still in a slump. That’s not going away any time soon. At least Karl seems to be getting at something while Ken continues to jerk us around. As the book slowly lumbers towards issue 100, that’s probably the most we could ask for. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 94

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 94
Publication Date: February 2001

Issue 94 was not a well received issue in 2001. It made some bizarre changes to Sonic’s world, many of which wouldn’t stick very long, likely because of how poorly received they were. I agree that many of these new additions were poorly thought out. However, I’ll admit that I like number 94 a little better then the last few issues. We’re knee-deep in the Dork Age here so I’ll take what I can get.

Six months have passed since Sonic was stripped of his title as a knight and Elias has assumed rule of Knothole. The new King has increased the village’s infrastructure. He’s built a new castle, hospitals, and schools. With this new order, new rules have come. Now, everyone under the age of eighteen has to attend school. This includes Sonic, Tails, and the many other former Freedom Fighters. It’s a change that doesn’t sit well with the hedgehog hero. His continued separation from Sally especially concerns him. Meanwhile, Robotnik, Snively, and Athair continue their own affairs.

I tend to dislike time jumps. Usually, it’s an excuse for writers to mix things up, introducing drastic shake changes to the world, without putting in the work to develop these events. Comic books especially love to do this. How often has the DC Universe jumped weeks or months into the future, introducing readers to a world that’s totally different? (At least until the status quo is inevitably re-introduced?) Karl introduces something similar, if a little less intense, here.

Mostly, it’s a bad idea. Apparently a large numbers of Overlanders have moved to Robotropolis, where Robotnik enforces strict laws on them. Knothole has suddenly grown from a tiny village to a small city, which seems like an unlikely change. The dumbest addition is forcing teenagers to go to high school. Why would Prince Elias expect former child soldiers like the Freedom Fighters to attend school? As Sonic says early on, why would a hero like him need to learn algebra? Forcing Sonic and friends into a high school setting is especially miscalculated. Why would an action adventure series want to change its focus to high school drama?

Knothole High’s dress code is also questionable. Bunnie dresses like Daisy Duke and Rotor dresses like a Homie, bizarre decisions at odds with their personalities. (And what could a technical genius like Rotor possibly learn from high school-level science classes?)

It’s deeply ill conceived but Karl almost makes it work. He does this by focusing on Sonic’s frustration with this change, an annoyance the reader shares. Physics class drags on for the speedy hedgehog, bored out of his mind. Mostly, he misses Sally. The two have been separated for months and Sonic’s heart is aching. Sally feels similarly shoved into a box that doesn’t suit her. Sadly, Bollers even stumbles with these plot points. He makes it seem like Sally, a proven warrior and tactician, has spent all this time pining for her missing lover. Moreover, I can’t imagine Sonic and Sally – people used to breaking the rules to succeed – would ever put up with such unnecessary laws.

Boller’s handling of the other subplots vary. Athair appears suddenly in the school, whisking Tails away to some undisclosed location. Who knows where that story line is headed. Bunnie seems to resent Mina for reasons that aren’t apparent. At least the Overlander drama in Robotropolis is starting to move. Hope is suspecting that Robotnik is up to something fishy. Her stepdad has his suspicions but mostly just seems happy to be home. Snively has been brought back into the story, a character that has been greatly missed. One of this issue’s best moment has Snively presented with a chance to strike back at his father, a man he greatly resents. But who’s to say if anything of this will build towards something meaningful?

Karl Bollers and Ken Penders have something in common. Both are struggling with balancing their mini-epics. In "The Best Laid Plans," the echidnas of Albion attempt to drain Knuckles of his new found powers. The procedure is painful for the young Guardian. Charmy and Saffron fly in, seeking to rescue their friend. Nack and Nic, meanwhile… Don’t contribute very much, deciding to flee the area after Knuckles starts to go nuclear.

Hey, remember where this story line started? With the Chaotix, Knuckles’ mom, and everyone on the Floating Island getting zapped into another dimension? With Julie-Su getting captured by the Dark Legion? I know I’ve been saying this every time but… Jesus Christ, Ken, please get back to the shit we care about! Instead, the writer wastes our time with more mystic bullshit. Knuckles, with his new green color, has achieved a power potentially greater then Enerjak. This seems to be the dark, horrible destiny the Brotherhood have been referencing for roughly forty thousand issues. Naturally, the Albion echidna’s attempt to control Knuckles’ power goes horribly wrong. After escaping, Knuckles teleports away. Hopefully on the way to resolving the plot point we give a shit about? God, I hope so.

Knuckles’ new found superpowers are obviously so great that I can’t imagine the Albion scientist ever would’ve been able to control them. Making Knux a physical god makes the story’s other plot developments needless. There was probably no reason for Charmy and Saffron to free the Guardian, since he probably would’ve escaped anyway. There was certainly no reason to have Nack and Nic in the story. They share some dialogue and then leave town, deciding this is out of their leagues. Gee, Ken, if you were going to check back in on these characters, maybe you should have had them actually contribute to the fucking narrative?

Issue 94 is a deeply mixed bag. In the cover story, Karl does some things I like while introducing some extremely dumb ideas. The back-up story, meanwhile, remains incredibly frustrating. Ken’s latest arc is just dragging along, refusing to acknowledge the details we’re invested in. Upside: James Fry contributes some solid artwork to the cover story. Downside: Ron Lim draws the back-up, where he totally screws up Nack’s face and draws continues to draw Knuckles like a pencil. But at least he actually bothered to draw the fucking backgrounds. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 93

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 93
Publication Date: January 2001

Sometimes, it’s just a matter of focus. Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” has been floundering for a few issues, a number of lame subplots bouncing off of each other, the reader having difficulty caring. With issue 93, Karl Bollers decides to turn away form stuff for a minute. Instead, he builds a story about Sonic and how he feels about the last few issues’ events.

After racing back to Knothole, Sonic is immediately apprehended by Geoffrey St. John’s secret police. He pleads with Prince Elias, who agrees not to punish him too severely. Royal bureaucracy keeps him from seeing Sally. It takes a heart-to-heart with Nate Morgan, Antoine, and Bunnie for Sonic to forgive himself for his mistakes. Meanwhile, Mina, Elias, St. John, Antoine, and Bunnie have events going on in their own lives.

After several lame issues, the book finds a little more emotional footing in an unexpected place. Sonic, as the titular speedster, isn’t usually the one for self-reflection. In “Crime N’ Punishment,” the hedgehog hero finds himself feeling guilty for his actions. He feels partially responsible for King Acorn’s injury. He feels like an asshole for loosing the Sword of Acorn. Moreover, he feels isolated from Sally. This is fantastically illustrated in a great panel, where Sonic’s imagined reunion with Sally is cut short by reality. In other words, Sonic is surrounded by problems he can’t run away from. Realizing this, he accepts responsibility for his actions at the end. Considering we’re more use to seeing Sonic crack wise and smash robots, it’s a surprising – and surprisingly touching – turn of events.

This dovetails with another simmering plot point. While wandering around, feeling bad for himself, Sonic and Mina literally run into each other. She’s so excited to see him that she barrels towards him, super speed activated. As the two sit on the ground together, they have a sweet moment. They share a laugh followed by a meaningful glance. I’ve never really bought the Sonic/Mina romance but it sort of makes sense here. The hedgehog is in a vulnerable place, feeling rejected by his friends and love ones. When a cute mongoose is the only one happy to see him, who could blame the guy for noticing? (Then again, I’m not sure Karl needed to introduce a new character to accomplish this. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Amy Rose could have just as easily, and maybe more naturally, filled this role.)

By re-focusing on Sonic, Karl manages to rediscover the story’s heart. Yet he still feels the need to check in on the other subplots. Antoine and Bunnie are back in town, Antoine’s robot dad in tow. This only takes up a few panels though. Nate Morgan stops in to fill a mentor role that would’ve otherwise been occupied by Uncle Chuck. Sally is shocked to learn of Sonic’s thievery. In a very lame move, instead of letting her react, her mom insists on taking her clothing shopping instead. The crown continues to weigh heavily on Elias’ head while Geoffrey St. John attempts to grab more power for himself. The least interesting of all of these points involves Kodos. While he’s napping, Uma Arachnus snatches the Sword of Acorn for herself. It’s only been going on for three months but I’m already sick of this MacGuffin getting passed around.

Which brings us to the business in Robotropolis. For all the elements worth liking about issue 93, Karl struggles to justify the role of Eggman’s human relatives. The tyrant welcomes them with warm arms. Colin Kintobor is initially impressed with the set-up, still pissed about Sonic and Monkey Khan’s theatrics last time. However, he quickly notices how odd Robotnik acts. Truthfully, the purpose of these scenes is to clarify who these people are. Colin is Snively’s dad, Julian Kintobor’s brother. The old woman is Colin’s mother-in-law and the little girl, Hope, is his stepdaughter from a second marriage. This explains who they are but doesn’t get the reader to care.

In the back pages, Knuckles’ story continues in “Bagging the Big One.” With all the other Chaotix zapped into a pocket dimension, Knuckles seeks out the last member still on the Floating Island. That would be Charmy Bee, who is enjoying wedded bliss with Saffron. The reunion between green glowing Knuckles and his buzzing pal is interrupted when Nack and Nic the Weasel crash the party. The mercenaries talk the echidna into being taken prisoner by the echidnas of Albion.

As the cover story cut through the bullshit to an emotional center we care about, Penders is attempting something similar. Knuckles is finally back on track towards the goal of saving his friends. Seeing Charmy again, whom he hasn’t seen since the early days of his own title, should’ve been touching. Instead, Knuckles simply informs Charmy of his latest objective. Before they can go any further, Nack marches in, awkwardly talks Knuckles into coming with him. Far too much time is devoted to these negotiations, making the reunion with Charmy seem totally superfluous in the grand scheme of things.

A weak script is still the story’s least offensive mistake. Ken, sadly, draws as well as writes this one. His character art is as weak as usual. Saffron looks completely different from the last time we saw her. Nack and Nic are also off-model. Knuckles is weirdly muscular. Everybody’s mouths lob open in ugly ways while their eyes stare ahead blankly.

As mediocre as the art is, what’s far worst is Ken’s decision to use nature photographs instead of drawn background. So the character stand in front of pictures of trees, skies, or the ocean. It’s a frankly lazy decision that is greatly distracting and visually displeasing. Jesus, Ken, we know your artwork sucks but you really couldn’t be bothered to draw some waves or trees?

It’s a step back in the right direction, though it remains to be seen if this is a long term correction or merely a temporary upswing. James Fry coming back to draw the issue, letting Ron Lim rest his doodling hand for a month, is surely a contributing factor. It’s a decent story, albeit one still surrounded by the problems plaguing the book lately. The back-up is pretty lame but at least Knuckles’ story line is starting to move again. You take what you can get, you know? [7/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 92

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 92
Publication Date: January 2001

Who is that I spy on the cover of this issue? Why, it’s that character that is beloved by all Archie “Sonic” fans, me most of all! Nah, I’m just joshing with you. Monkey Khan fucking sucks and, for some reason, he’s back again. Remember what I said about the Dork Age? Yeah, well, Monkey Khan getting another cover is a further sign of its dark dawning.

Picking up from last issue’s cliffhanger, Sonic sees that the meteor crashing outside Robotropolis were actually shuttles. A family of Overlanders exit the ship, quickly revealing themselves to be the family of Julian Kintobor. Sonic’s attempt to make peace with these newcomers is interrupted by two outside forces: A rogue Com-Bot, eager to attack. And Monkey Khan, who has flown into town to wreck Robotnik’s shit, as revenge for the tyrant burning down his village. Meanwhile, in Knothole, Geoffrey St. John talks Mina into revealing that Sonic stole the King’s sword and Sally brings her mom up to speed.

Issue 92’s cover story – entitled “The Wrath of Khan” because Archie can’t even be bothered to hide the Star Trek references anymore – pays off on a plot point Karl Bollers set up quite a while ago. Those space ships traveling towards Mobius finally touch down. In a plot point that Karl probably would’ve resolved sooner if he hadn’t been mandated to adapt “Sonic Adventure,” the ship is full of Robotnik’s relatives. Considering Elias’ arrival means the comic already has a surplus of long lost relatives, they aren’t a welcomed addition. In the brief series of panels devoted to them, they appear to be thinly developed stereotypes. There’s the doting grandmother, the innocent little girl, the generic leader type, and the smart guy.

Instead of actually gifting the new characters personalities, these panels are devoted to Sonic or Robotnik trying to manipulate the new arrivals to their sides. Robotnik’s trickery, wherein the obvious violent Com-Bot is referred to as a Protector Bot, is staggeringly obvious. Which further points towards the villain decay Eggman has been undergoing recently. He’s supposed to be even more ruthless then the prior Robotnik yet he mostly acts like a goofball. He laughs like a ham and rolls on the floor when he doesn’t get his way. For example, when he notices the Sword of Acorn is missing, he becomes enraged, even though he previously threw the relic on the floor. Eggman also gets the worst dialogue in this issue. Overstuffed word bubbles clarify how the Overlanders are related to the previous Robotnik and dry technical details of that nature.

Most of the issue is devoted to the Kintobors dropping into town, which might make you wonder why Monkey Khan got the cover position. The much maligned monkey’s role in the story is totally unnecessary. He shows up and attempts to kill the travelers, declaring that anyone related to Robotnik deserves to die. Sonic, emerging as an unlikely voice of reason, attempts to reason with him. Naturally, the two immediately begin to fight. Just as Sonic and Knuckles use to fight every time they met, apparently Sonic and Monkey Khan have to scuffle during each appearance. A winner is not declared and Khan exits the issue, having contributed nothing to the plot. I don’t know why they bothered.

“The Wrath of Khan” primarily exists to set up future story arcs that Bollers will exploit in stumbling, tedious ways. The Kintobors are one such example. The theft of the Sword of Acorn is another. After Mina is brought back to Knothole, Geoffrey St. John quickly suspects that she knows Sonic took the sword. When the skunk discovers this, he’s eager to persecute the hedgehog, as always. This sequence does include one kind of cute moment. When St. John’s strong arm approach is unsuccessful, Hershey takes a more gentle approach, coaxing a confession out of Mina by assuring Sonic won’t be harmed. It’s probably the biggest bit of character development Hershey has had over her entire existence.

Bollers stumbles in other ways too. Previously, he showed a real strength for introducing touching moments within big action stories. He had an opportunity to do that here. Sally and Queen Alicia get some time alone, the daughter really talking to her mother for the first time. Instead of focusing on developing their relationship, Sally spends several panels catching mom up to speed. She basically rehashes the original premise of the comic, about the Freedom Fighters battling Robotnik’s empire. Considering we still know so little about Queen Alicia, it’s a seriously missed opportunity.

The final insult is the fucking hideous artwork. Ron Lim draws half the story. His Mobians continued to be noodle-limbed with massive heads. His facial expressions are flat and his action is lifeless. He continues to draw Robotnik as either a floating head or an orb-like body. The Kintobors looks even worst, appearing to be generic space men. The old woman is especially embarrassing, as Lim draws a wrinkled head on a typically stacked comic book body. The second half is drawn by Michael Higgans and it’s somehow even worse. Higgans’ draw limbs as bending hoses. He frequently reduces characters to 2D geometric figures. Hershey becomes an angular shape in one panel. In another, Tails’ head and shoulders melt into each other.

The back-up story is the “Sonic Shuffle” adaptation trumpeted on the cover. Sonic has one of those train nightmares. The dream soon has him running into a jewel resembling a Chaos Emerald. Tails, Knuckles, and Amy wander into the dream next. A mystical entity called Lumina appears and explains that she rules a magical realm of dreams. And that some asshole named Void has appeared and started corrupting the world. Also, that big jewel has some significance. Anyway, it ends on a cliffhanger, Knuckles, Tails, and Amy stuck in the dreamworld, Sonic eager to rescue them. Go buy the video game if you want to know the rest, ya' fucking schmuck.

“Premonition” is lame as fuck, of course. The story is inane. The new characters exist solely to explain the plot. The dreamworld setting is rift with visual clichés, such as the running train and demonic bunny rabbits. Ron Lim’s artwork is typically hideous and Penders’ script is pointless. But look at it this way. Instead of devoting several issues or an on-going arc to adapting a deeply mediocre attempt to compete with the “Mario Party” games, Archie shoved an extended advertisement into the back pages. There, it wouldn’t disrupt the main plot and we could easily forget about it. God, I sort of wish they did it that way every time.

Hope is running out. Will the comic continued to be defined by aimless plot twists, shaky melodrama, and pointless new characters? Sadly, I already know the answer to this question. Get ready for more of this lame bullshit because it’s not going away any time soon. [4/10]

THE 2000 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG COMIC BEST/WORST LIST!

The year 2000 was not the best year for Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” series. Most of the year was preoccupied by the “Sonic Adventure” adaptation, a mediocre affair that carried over from the previous year and lasted, in one form or another, for six different issues. Once the Freedom Fighters got back to Knothole, Sonic and friends suddenly got mired in story arcs that went nowhere, building apathy in the reader. The back-up stories focused on Knuckles had much of the same problem. Among many stories that weren’t worth reading, there’s one or two that were above average. Let’s get this over with as quickly as possible.

The Archie “Sonic” material covered in this retrospective is:

Sonic the Hedgehog: #81-91
Sonic Super Special: #12-15

BEST COVER STORY:
Karl Bollers, “Family Matters” (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 88)

There weren’t too many stand alone cover stories I really liked this year. In this environment, even a flawed story liked “Family Matters” can rise to the top. Those flaws – a little too much time spent setting up future subplots – can be overlooked. Like Bollers’ best work, “Family Matters” balances emotion and action. We get some bad-ass sequences devoted to Sonic, Tails, King Acorn and others tearing up some robot ass. Yet what really speaks to readers is Sally’s anxiety over her mother’s condition and Sonic confronting the monster his uncle has become. This would soon spin out of control but, for a brief single issue, it was good.

WORST COVER STORY:
Ken Penders, “Naugus Games” (Sonic Super Special: Issue 15)

Well, this was an easy decision. “Naugus Games” is, without question, the worst “Sonic” story Archie published up to this point. It serves no purpose in the grand scheme of things. Sonic accidentally frees Naugus, they fight for a few pages, and then the wizard is vanquished again. The dialogue is inane. The action is weak. There’s no reason for this comic to exist. If that’s all they were going to do, why bother bringing Naugus back for one issue? The likely answer? A deadline had to be filled. This makes “Naugus Games” filler in the truest sense. Reprints would’ve been preferable to this.

BEST BACK STORY:
Don Slott and Karl Bollers, “Zone Wars: Giant Robotno” (Sonic Super Special: Issue 12)

Don Slott’s Zone Wars concept rarely produced truly great stories. “Giant Robotno,” a collaboration with Bollers, is probably his best work. Sonic and a horror-esque sci-fi kaiju concept don’t sound like they would mesh. Slott makes it work, by genuinely emphasizing the horror of the grotesque mutant Freedom Fighters. Rooting the outrageous premise in some reality is a decent sense of emotion. Sonic is traumatized by fighting off monstrous versions of his friend. Among them is a monster version of his dad, which disturbs Sonic even more. He doesn’t feel like a hero at the end but a murderer. This is one of the rare, gimmick alternate universe that might have been worth revisiting.

WORST BACK STORY:
Frank Strom, “Against the Haunted Past: Part Two” (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 87)

Monkey Khan, you’ve come once again to ruin my good mood. Both parts of “Against the Haunted Past” were deeply lame but part two is especially shitty. Strom continues to write Monkey Khan as an unstoppable superhero, who easily bests Robotnik and his forces. Yet he doesn’t earn this action, Khan escaping thanks to a random plot device while someone else blows up the base at the end. Meanwhile, Khan speaks almost entirely in lame clichés and cornball one-liners. Robotnik is reduced to a generic bad guy. Strom thinks Khan is awesome but does the worst things possible to convince us of that.

BEST STORY ARC:
Danny Fingeroff, “Heart of the Hedgehog” (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 86-87)

Newcomer Fingeroff makes an impressive debut with “Heart of the Hedgehog,” one of the year’s few bright spots. By focusing on Sonic and Tails’ friendship, he makes a standard “hero rescues his sidekick plot” more meaningful. He also grasps how heroic Sonic is, willing to do anything to save his best friend. He creates a memorable villain, allowing Metal Sonic to grow a personality, becoming a cocky and resentful bad guy determined to humble his name sake. The story’s tension builds, the villain providing more obstacles for the hero, further trying to delay from achieving his goal. Considering Tails’ life is at stake, that’s a big deal. The ending, meanwhile, redeems the villain in a surprisingly touching manner. It’s really good stuff and a shame that Fingeroff would never write for the book again.

WORST STORY ARC:
Karl Bollers and Ken Penders, “Sonic Adventure” Tie-In (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 81-84, Sonic Super Special #13)

The overlong “Sonic Adventure” tie-in earns the Worst Story Arc award mostly thanks to how deeply awkward it was. What Sega wanted Sonic to be and what Archie’s Sonic was up to this point were two very different things. The attempt to merge the two – involving hidden cities, multiple Chaos Emeralds, magical ghosts – was awkward. Stopping the ongoing plot we care about in order to devote half the year to this frustrated the reader. The build-up seemingly went on forever. When the meat of the adaptation came, the book both stretched the game’s story out for too long and rushed through it. Archie’s “Sonic Adventure” just wasn’t satisfying to anyone in any way. I honestly wish the comic could’ve skipped it altogether.

BEST COVER ART:
Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 85 – Patrick Spazinate

Issue 85 contained a pretty lame story, which would’ve been a candidate for worst story if something far more wicked didn’t loom. The cover, on the other hand? Pretty great. Patrick Spazinate illustrates Sonic as if he’s in a Capcom fighting game, laying a Shoryoken on Silver Sonic. The artwork moves, sucking the viewer right in. The expressions on the characters’ faces are vivid. The little details, in the background and health bars, tie the cover together.

WORST COVER ART:
Sonic Super Special: Issue 14 – Patrick Spazinate

For all his talent, Spaz sometimes had the bad habit of shoving too much stuff onto one cover. Issue 14 of the Sonic Super Special series – which also contained a pretty lame story – is one such example. Giant versions of Julie-Su and Dimitri’s heads take up the background. The characters from Litigopolis melt together up front, Robotnik’s face twisting into a disturbing sheet of body horror. Sonic and Knuckles leap forward, seemingly unrelated to everything else that’s happening. The colors are a bit too bright, as well. The combination is rather ugly.

BEST STORY ART:
“Menace to Society” – Steven Butler (Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 83)

Steven Butler and James Fry contributed good work to the book all throughout 2000, often being the best things about these issues. I single out Butler’s work on issue 83 for several reasons. First off, he provides my favorite moment throughout the entire “Sonic Adventure” tie-in. That is Perfect Chaos rising out of Station Square, flooding the city over several panels. There’s also some good stuff when Sonic and gang are swooped up by a waterspout. A great sense of motion takes over, once Sonic goes Super and fights against Chaos. As always, Butler balances character details with background details to great effect.

WORST STORY ART:
“Naugus Games” – Many Hands (Sonic Super Special: Issue 15)

Obviously. “Naugus Games” is not just the worst artwork of 2000, it might be the worst artwork of the entire series. Honest to God, some of the fan art published in the back of the book is better then this stuff. Naugus looks like the scribbles of a second grader. Sonic often shifts size and shape. The colors are over-bright, the backgrounds lacking detail. All of this is ignoring that half the story is panels of blackness and snow flakes. It’s infuriatingly bad.

BEST NEW CHARACTER:
Metal Sonic v2.5

Since E-102 Gamma and Big the Cat technically debuted in 1999, they couldn’t qualify for this category or the next one, respectively.

Metal Sonic v2.5 isn’t technically a new character either, being a new variation on a prior version of Metal Sonic. But version 2.5 is so distinct from the previous Metal Sonics that he counts. He’s cool, happily mocking his opponent. Even though he’s single-minded in his quest to humiliate Sonic, he has a lot of comedic energy. He’s a great bad guy but he also earns his change of heart by the story’s end. This Metal Sonic would prove so memorable and interesting that Ian Flynn would resurrect him many years later, as fan-favorite Shard.

WORST NEW CHARACTER:
Tikal

There were multiple candidates for this category. Silver Sonic II was such a lame, forgettable character, peppering his speech with embarrassing surfer slang. Yet I didn’t want both character categories to be dominated by robotic hedgehogs. All of the Litigopolos characters were embarrassingly dumb jokes. Yet useless, one-shot joke characters have won this dubious honor too often in the past.

Which brings me to Tikal. A Sega character originating in “Sonic Adventure,” in the video game her floating fairy form existed to inform players of stage features. Even though games and comics are deeply different mediums, Archie’s Tikal served a similar function. She would drop in from time to time, to expound on the back story of various things. This was at its worst during Super Sonic’s fight with Perfect Chaos, where Tikal appeared to awkwardly move the story forward. Unlike the above mentioned characters, Tikal would also return from time to time, never growing into someone we could actually care about.


BEST IDEA:
Finding the Emotion Among the Chaos

Normally, placing beads of character development and emotional resonance among big action stories would be standard stuff. It should be anyway. Sadly, in the year 2000, instances like this were harder to find. So little interactions between Sally and her brother, Sonic and his parents, or Tails and his hero became the reasons to continue reading. When the book worked this years, moments like that balanced out against the constant action and plot machinations.


WORST IDEA:
Make Way for Mediocrity

This year, the book began a long creative slump that would more-or-less go on until Ian Flynn came onto the series, six years later. What composed this slump? Awkward attempts to adapt Sega’s latest video games, as in the “Sonic Adventure” arc. Knuckles being green and glowy for a long time, while the reader wonders when he’ll get back to the shit we care about. Knothole being torn apart by missing swords, love triangles, injured backs, new characters dropping out of the sky, and stories that just never go anywhere. Dark days are ahead.

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 91

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 91
Publication Date: November 2000

After the exhausting lows of “Naugus Games,” even a marginally shitty story comes off as a lot better. I’ve previously lauded Karl Boller’s ability to mix action and character beats. As the comic creeps closer to issue 100, the writer’s balance was off. Issue 91 is too slow, the characters stuck in stasis thanks to a plot that seems to be moving towards no particular goal.

Rotor waddles back into Mobotropolis, after his failed attempt to rescue his family. He find the city taken by evil once more and currently being shook by meteors falling on it. He runs into Mina and Sonic, who easily survived the impact. Inside, Dr. Robotnik plays with the Sword of Acorn before loosing the MacGuffin to Uma Arachnis, who takes it back to Kodos. Meanwhile, Sonic’s trip back towards Eggman’s stronghold is interrupted by what was hiding inside those meteors.

Issue 91’s cover story, unimaginatively entitled “Crash!,” develops the series’ plot lines just enough to classify as a plot. The biggest deal is that Rotor returns to Knothole. His arrival is greeted with little fanfare. He waddles into town, runs into Sonic and Mina, and is escorted back to Knothole. The guy has been gone so long that he doesn’t even know Eggman has taken up residence in Robotropolis. His reaction isn’t horror or shock but bored resignation. You’d think he’d be a little more upset. Then again, maybe loosing his family again has made him numb.

For a comic bearing his name, Sonic does very little in this issue. He reveals how he survived last month’s seemingly final cliffhanger. He simply spun fast enough to burrow under the ground, safely escaping the blast. That’s an underwhelming conclusion, one that’s a little cheesy. He decides he’s going to get the Sword of Acorn back before Eggman uses Uncle Chuck and other Robians as a shield. He then races back out of the city, making no further attempt to get the sword back. It’s lame.

The reader reacts to the other plot developments as unenthusiastic as Rotor does. Eggman, stupidly, drops the Sword of Acorn and leaves the room. This allows Uma Arachanis to swoop down and pick it up, taking it to Kodos. The shuttles Bollers foreshadowed all the way back in issue 78 finally arrive in Mobius. Who cares about any of this shit, these desperate attempts to set up future stories? What’s mildly interesting is that Uncle Chuck has regained his freedom of choice. He’s hiding as a subservient Robian, acting as a spy within Robotropolis. In other words, Bollers has reinstated the status qua from “SatAM,” a plot outline the comic outgrew long ago.

Even the attempts at emotional pathos, which Karl is usually better at, hit like a wet fart. Sally and Elias spend a few panels angsting over their dad’s newly gained paralysis. Nate Morgan makes a dramatic entrance, for some reason. Dr. Quack and Nate suggests Sally and the Queen have some mother/daughter time. Honestly, there’s been so much drama among the Acorns lately that it’s hard for the reader to care. The Queen is barely a character and the King’s ill health doesn’t register.

Atop all these other indignities, there’s some shitty Ron Lim art. Lim flat out does not know how to draw these characters. Rotor is a pink oval, with a stubby head and floppy flipper arms. Robotnik similarly resembles a rubber bouncy ball. Sonic and Mina has a serious case of noodle arms. Sally and Queen Alicia look identical. Nate Morgan gains a massive head. Geoffrey St. John looks likes like something out of a Sunday comic stripe. Lim, for some reason, regularly zooms in on everyone’s faces… Which only draws more attention to how off-model everyone is. It’s shit.

The back-up story is only marginally better. The echidnas of Albion have recruited Nack and Nic the Weasels to hunt down Knuckles. With his massive chaos powers, the echidna has gone rogue. Fearful of what he may do with his uncontrollable powers, Gala-La hopes the weasels can track him down. The Guardian himself has no idea what the limit of his new abilities are but heads back to the Floating Island anyway.

Jesus Christ, Ken, what the hell is wrong with you? We want to know what happened to Julie-Su and the Chaotix! We want to get back to the Floating Island! Instead, the writer continues to jerk us around. It seems he cares so little about the residents of the Island, about Knuckles’ concern for his friends and loved ones, that the Guardian only appears on one page in this story. Instead, most of the story is spent setting up Nack and Nic, showing off their relationship, her new ship, and the objective Albion sets before them. It’s kind of cute. Nack and Nic have some nice brother/sister interplay. But it’s just another distraction from what we’re really concerned with.

At least the artwork is nice. Steven Butler’s work is handsome, as always. The opening scene, of Nack hanging out in a bar, hitting on a slutty blonde, are nicely colorful. Butler even manages to bring some curves to Nic, a previously shapeless character. Knuckles is miscolored, his natural red instead of radioactive green, but the panels of him meditating and flexing sure look cool. The interior of Albion is detailed. About the only complaint I have is the odd decision concerning Nic’s new ship. It’s the Millennium Falcon, barely redesigned and re-colored. That makes two issues in a row where Archie has stolen a ship design from a well-known sci-fi series. What’s up with that?

In conclusion, issue 91 is an uninspired way to wrap up the year 2000. The plot is getting sloppier, the writers are getting careless, and the artwork is getting shittier. Along with a new millennium, something far darker had dawned. The distinction is clear. The Dork Age has begun. [5/10]

Sonic Super Special: Issue 15 – Naugus Games

Sonic Super Special: Issue 15 – Naugus Games
Publication Date: November 2000

Times change. This days, the Archie Sonic fandom seems single three Ken Penders’ stories out to piss on the most: “Sonic Live!,” “Endgame,” and the Image crossover. I’m not exempt from this, as I’ve also raked those stories over the coals. Back in the day, though, one particular issue of “Sonic” was the most reviled, one that happened to come from Ken’s pen. And whatever the opposite of hype is isn’t wrong either. The final issue of “Sonic Super Special,” generally referred to as “Naugus Games,” may very well be the worst “Sonic” comic ever published.

Hardcore continuity nerds usually place this story at some point after “Endgame” but before Dr. Eggman seized Mobotropolis again. Sonic runs up to the Southern Tundra solo, to the former spot of Nate Morgan’s fortress. He has returned to this inhospitable location for one reason: To pay final respects to Eddy the Yeti, who sacrificed himself to save Sonic’s life back in issue 66. While approaching the yeti’s final resting place, Sonic falls through the snow. He stumbles upon a cache of Nate’s remaining power rings. Upon picking one up, he accidentally summons Ixis Naugus back from the Negative Zone. The two fight for several minutes before the evil wizard is vanquished once again. That’s it.

The “Sonic Super Special” quarterly has been barely hanging on for a while. Issue 12 had a forgettable cover story. Issue 14 was incredibly lame. Even issue 13, the much hyped “Sonic Adventure” adaptation, was poor. So it’s no surprise that issue 15 would be the final issue in the series. You’d think the company would want to take the series out on a high note. After all, it was called “Sonic Super Special.” The opposite, it turns out, is true. No effort was expended on “Naugus Games.” Nobody gave a shit about this book, pushing out a shoddy product to a faithful fan base, who handed out their money none the wiser.

The bullshit began at the scripting phase. It probably took Ken all of ten minutes to shit out “Naugus Games.” Two whole pages are spent recapping Naugus’ last appearance. Sonic accidentally releases Naugus from his prison. This should’ve been a big deal. After all, the wizard is one of the Freedom Fighters’ most dangerous adversaries. Instead, the two play in the snow for a few minutes, Sonic getting under the wizard’s skin with childish name-calling. At the end, he blasts Naugus back into the other dimension. In other words, there’s no stakes to this story. It ends without exerting any effect on the character’s world. The story might as well have never happened. It comes and goes, without purpose or meaning.

As pure shit as the writing is, “Naugus Games” is most notorious for its artwork. An entity calling itself “Many Hands” – presumably a pseudonym, one hopes – takes credit for drawing this thing. It starts out looking not so bad. That first page of Sonic hanging out on a snowy cliff is mildly striking. The artwork, however, quickly degrades. Sonic goes off-model throughout, becoming taller or skinnier, shorter or fatter, his head and hand changing shape. When Naugus reappears, the artwork totally goes to hell. The wizard looks terrible, a quickly scribbled mass of purple muscles, teeth and claw, cape and horn. Even poor Eddy the Yeti doesn’t escape untouched. He appears in the final panel, a shadow from heaven smiling down approvingly. Except he looks like a hunchback.

Of course, this is discussing the pages when Many Hands actually bothered to draw the characters. On page four, Sonic falls through a hole in the ice, dropping into a pitch black cave. He spends nearly four whole pages stumbling around in the dark. Only his eyes are visible, against solid black panels. After a brief scuffle with Naugus, the wizard casts up a huge snowstorm. Practically every panel on the next six pages are filled up with a generic snow pattern. So half the comic is either pure blackness or looks like Christmas wrapping paper. They charged two dollars and forty nine cents for this. Three dollars of my hard earn allowance went to this. Yeah, I was pissed.

The quality only perks up slightly for the back-up story. “Sonic Spin City” begins with the hedgehog smashing some SWATBots during a rainy day in Robotropolis. From the remains, he grabs a matchbook for Rusty’s, a bar apparently catering to robots. Stepping inside, he finds it full of old enemies. Luckily, they’re distracted when a dancing girl comes out on stage. This girl, however, is Bunnie in disguise. Why Bunnie is undercover, Michael Gallagher’s script never explains. Anyway, Sonic grabs the rabbit, wrecks the machines, and the entire bar blows up. Apparently the entire mission was an ill-planned trap on Robotnik’s behalf.

The plot synopsis above didn’t illustrate the obvious. “Sonic Spin City” is a parody of Frank Miller’s “Sin City.” Miller’s grizzled, explicit, black and white comic series is well known today, thanks to two film adaptations. Back in 2000, the series was unknown outside of comic nerd circles. So it’s unlikely the target audience would’ve been familiar with the R-rated series. I certainly wasn’t. (Though I did get that Gallagher was goofing on film noir stereotypes.) I have no idea why Gallagher targeted the series, though it certainly wasn’t the first time the comic referenced something outside the core demographic’s knowledge.

As a parody, “Sonic Spin City” is fairly shallow. The artwork, provided by Gallagher himself, is pretty damn iffy. The robots in Rusty’s look very sketchy. Gallagher, at least, knows what Sonic looks like. He also does an okay job of replicating Miller’s hard-boiled writing and black and white inking. The story is completely pointless though and Bunnie’s stint as an exotic dancer is not well realized. Nor her proudest moment. It’s dumb, not especially clever as parody, and easily forgotten.

In short, there’s just no reason at all to read issue 15 of “Sonic Super Special.” The cover story is barely a story while the back-up is a relatively useless goof. I am confident in calling it Archie’s worst “Sonic” comic. It’s a shame that the Sonic Super Special had to die such an inglorious death, as the quarterly had promise in the beginning. Following the side series end, Archie wouldn’t publish another one shot special for sixteen years. Then again, a shit sandwich like “Naugus Games” will do that to you. [2/10]