Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 96

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 96
Publication Date: April 2001

Well, I guess we’re still doing this, huh? Instead of just moving on and forgetting like we’d all prefer him to, Karl Bollers decided to run with with his bad ideas. Sonic and the Freedom Fighters are still in high school, for some reason. Geoffrey is still hammering his grudge against Sonic home. Sonic and Sally are still being forced apart. Kodos and the juggling plot device of the Sword of Acorn are still plot relevant. At least the Kintobor clan do not appear in this issue.

So here’s the basic facts. Kodos has collapsed following his separation with the Sword last time. Geoffrey sneaks around, trying to figure out why the Warlord was sniffing around Knothole. He immediately places the blame on Sonic, who skillfully dodges the skunk’s investigation. At school the next day, a ShadowBot attacks. Sonic, Mina, and Bunnie attempt to fight off the machine before it begins to talk to them with Uncle Chuck’s voice. Apparently, Chuck sent the robot to contact Sonic. Before the conversation can get any further, St. John fills it full of holes, forcing a more drastic measure from Sonic.

Issue 96 – which is a very poor issue, indeed – is notable for one thing: How hilariously incompetent Geoffrey St. John’s investigation is. First off, it’s not entirely clear why St. John is searching around Knothole for clues. We begin in Dr. Quack’s hospital – which looks distressingly modern – where the duck diagnosed the unconscious Kodos with radiation poisoning. Apparently, between last issue’s conclusion and this one’s beginning, Sonic or someone else took the Warlord to the hospital. For some reason, St. John just assumes the culprit is in the village. Even though Kodos has had no prior alliance with anyone in Knothole.

It’s really just another excuse to further resurrect the Sonic/St. John rivalry, which has otherwise been a moot point since “Brave New World.” The skunk hunts down Sonic in his parents’ house, barges in, and asks him the vague question of “How did he get there?” Sonic provides a vague denial, after which St. John mutters “Blast!” and leaves. What the fuck was that suppose to accomplish? The next scene has St. John admitting to the King that they still know nothing about Kodos. When Hershey suggests maybe blindly pursuing Sonic, despite a total lack of evidence, isn’t the best method, St. John changes the topic. I don’t think Bollers was attempting to paint a portrait of police incompetence, petty abuses of power, and the total ineffectiveness of the state but that’s what we got anyway.

As has sadly been the case for a while now, you can see Karl struggling to introduce some emotional content inside a muddled plot-driven comic. Outside forces are still keeping Sonic and Sally apart. Sadly, this only comes up when St. John mocks Sonic about it and when Sally, once again, is seen pining for the missing Sonic. Mina asks Sonic to tutor her in controlling her super speed, a chance to develop their budding romance. However, Rotor then bumbles into the scene, cutting this interaction short. At that point, Sonic asks Rotor if he’s seen Tails – who has been missing for at least a day, at this point – only to get a negative answer. Before that plot point can go anywhere, the giant robot bumbles into the school, abruptly ending all the other story developments. With all this going on, Bunnie and Nate Morgan are essentially reduced to cameo appearances.

For all his attempts to build on other story threads, Karl only successfully develops one plot point. Sonic discovers that Uncle Chuck has regained his free will, that this falls under the Sword of Acorn’s various healing properties. I somewhat question Chuck’s method of delivering this message. Sending a killer robot to Sonic’s high school, smashing through walls and attempting to grab people, probably wasn’t the best way to contact Chuck’s nephew. This isn’t a case of Sonic and friends assuming the ShadowBot is there to attack them. The robot is immediately smashing walls and tearing up lockers. Gee whiz, Chuck, you couldn’t have sent Sonic a letter or something? Was it necessary to wreck the high school? Still, Sonic learning Chuck’s free will is restored is potentially touching.

Further sinking issue 96 is some truly unfortunate artwork. Nelson Ribeiro, who previously provided some idiosyncratic but decent pencils for Super Special #12, draws some hideous artwork. Each of the characters have giant hands, which is especially apparent on St. John and Hershey. Everyone is given weirdly overexpressive heads and faces. Ribeiro makes a simple sequence of Sonic eating a ball of cereal look horrifying. Bodies are often formless, with Mina and Nate Morgan getting it the worst. His action is very flat and borderline incoherent. I had to look at the panel of Bunnie slamming the ShadowBot through a wall a few times before I understood what was happening. The artist has done okay work before so I guess he was really rushing to hit a deadline or something.

In the back pages, Ken Penders’ Chaos Knuckles epic continues to stretch on and on. Most of “The Chosen One” is devoted to Tails, actually. Merlin Prower and Athair’s floating head argue about what to do with the two tailed fox. Eventually, they reach a consensus and Merlin zaps Tails into his super form. Tails confronts Knuckles, saying he doesn’t want to fight before immediately punching him in the face.

Hey, what’s your favorite part of Ken’s “Knuckles” story? Who here said the convoluted mythology? Or Ken’s inability to accept how flawed Locke, Athair, or the other members of the Brotherhood are? Well, that one person will love “The Chosen One.” The first half of the story is Merlin essentially calling Athair’s floating head on his bullshit just for the mystic to deny how wrong he is. It’s all unnecessary build-up for Merlin transforming Tails into Turbo Tails. If Ken was going to move ahead with that plot point so quickly, why did he bother to have Merlin and Athair argue in the first place?

It’s appropriate that Knuckles is radioactive green at the moment, as his behavior best resembles the Incredible Hulk. He can’t be reasoned with and is just rampaging through various locations. Knuckles is actively attempting to figure out what happened to everyone on the Floating Island – you know, the entire reason this plot point started ten thousand years ago – but anytime he might get a lead on that, he has to freak the fuck out. Turbo Tails offers to help Knuckles but he accuses Merlin of lying instead, forcing Tails to smack the echidna around. And forcing the reader to suffer through the forthcoming fight scene before this plot can actually begin to move again.

Oh yeah, Ron Lim draws the back-up story too and, unsurprisingly, it looks pretty shitty. Issue 96 mostly just leaves me exhausted. The book, in both its main plot and the back-up stories, is endlessly spinning its wheels, throwing a bunch of bullshit around and only succeeding in burying the things we care about. It’s going to get better eventually but this will be the state of things for far too long to come. [4/10]