Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 258

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 258
Publication Date: March 2014

The time has finally come to talk about Tyson Hesse. Hesse would make his Archie Sonic debut with the (really cool) cover art to issue 258. Since then, he’s done interior art for the book and worked with Sega, directing the animated opening to “Sonic Mania” and the “Sonic Mania Adventures” web series. Long before any of that, Hesse was a humble fan artist. So humble, in fact, he got his start with a fucking sprite comic. I was an avid reader of “Sonic ARGH,” which is, yeah, really crude by modern standards. He would reach a far wider audience with his hilarious hand-drawn comics. Which means I’ve been following Hesse his entire career, watching as he achieved the ultimate fan dream of actually working on the “Sonic” franchise in an official capacity. (And having some success with his own IPs, “Boxer Hockey” and “Diesel.”) He’s a beloved pillar of the Sonic fan community, as his artwork is rightly regarded as excellent. Naturally, I greatly resent him. If you’re reading this, Ritz, I fucking hate you.

Anyway, issue 258 contains part one of “The Chase.” Picking up where the last issue left off, the Freedom Fighters have located the kidnapped Sir Charles and his colleague, Prof. Pickle. They are currently speeding through Eggman country on a bullet train. The heroes locate the train and attempt to get inside. This is not easy, as the train is heavily armored and filled with killer robots. Even after Sonic gets inside and locates Chuck, he’s pursued by E-106 Eta.

“The Chase,” presumably not named after the 1994 Charlie Sheen/Kristy Swanson vehicle, is another attempt by Ian Flynn to forge a fast paced action story. And it certainly succeeds in some regards. Much like the bullet train it features, the pacing never slows down. The story barrels ahead, throwing more obstacles at the heroes as they charge towards their simple goal. The action scenes, involving fights with the dragonfly and scorpion Badniks from “Sonic and Knuckles,” are decent. However, the story feels a little too much like the video games that inspired it. Flynn’s script is really focused on the Freedom Fighters completing specific tasks. They have to search all the train cars, breaking through the little doors without letting them fly loose and hurt anyone further down the line. This goal oriented structure- “We’ve gotta do this before we can do this before we can do THIS” - feels like we’re walking through a checklist, not reading a compelling story.

Still, the writer does include some cute character moments. After Bunnie makes a small opening in the lead train car’s hatch, Sally drops Nicole’s handheld inside. We see a little upset emoji on her screen as she falls. After her hologram - which can apparently interact with the physical world now - is confronted by Eta, she cutely asks the robot if he’s friendly. Later, Amy hammers open another hatch. Looking inside, she sees that the car is full of explosives. And the door she slammed off flew into some missiles. The pink hedgehog nervously chatters to herself about nearly exploding the entire train. Which is funny.

There’s also some neat new tech on display. The Freedom Fighters get a second airplane, piloted by Antoine, as the Freedom Fighter Special was apparently lost in the reboot. To compliment Tails’ Tornado, it’s called the Twister. It looks a lot like the purple second version of the Tornado from “Sonic Adventure,” which is neat. I also like the design of E-106 Eta, who looks like a rougher, more industrial Omega. His pneumatic stabbing arms don’t seem very practical but they make for a cool weapon. Throughout the reboot, Flynn would answer the irresistible siren call of creating E-series robots to go with every other letter of the Greek alphabet. And who can blame him for that?

Another problem with this issue is Prof. Pickle. Originating in “Sonic Unleashed,” Pickle is just the worst. He’s got a hideous design, with massive white eyebrows that obscure his eyes like two white, fuzzy slugs. He’s supposedly a brilliant academic, a narration box informs us. In the actual story, he acts like an imbecile. He doesn’t seem to understand he’s a prisoner, treating the train like it’s a hotel. He also has a childish obsession with cucumber sandwiches. Surely, this book has enough eccentric geniuses already? Also, his first name is Dillon, as in Dill, as in Jesus Christ puns.

Lastly, seeing Mobians and regular humans interact so casually continues to bug the shit out of me. There’s another reason for this, beyond it just not making any fucking sense. It’s a violation of the comic’s rules. In the past, humans represented the exploitation of the planet while the Mobians represented living in harmony with nature. Seeing the two co-existing breaks this unstated rule. I hate this but it’s not really Flynn’s fault. He’s just following Sega’s corporately mandated lead. The games disregarded their own subtext years before. There were lots of awful looking, previously unseen human characters inhabiting Sonic’s world in “Sonic Unleashed.” But Prof. Pickle still fucking sucks.

Another thing the book has going for it is the artwork. Evan Stanley’s artwork is very strong on this outing. The action scenes have motion to them, the characters are expressive, and Stanley generates some humor with the various reactions to the insides of the train. (Sally shivering while inside a refrigerated food car is a nice touch.) Still, issue 258 is yet another reboot issue that I very mixed feelings about. [6/10]