Team Sonic Racing

Team Sonic Racing
Publication Date: December 5, 2018

As someone who read Archie’s “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics from a very early point in their history, I remember the excessive number of spin-offs the company would put out in the early nineties. The comics industry was booming at the time and the “Sonic” franchise was at its peak popularity. So it only made sense that Archie was putting out a lot of “Sonic” content. Aside from several three-part mini-series, the publisher regularly put out various one shots. These were usually promoted “48 Page Special” and, believe me, that was a big deal for kid-me.

So I was happy to see IDW, the “Sonic” franchise’s new home in comics, is continuing this tradition of occasional stand-alone books. Of course, there’s a downside to this. Those Archie one-shots were usually done to promote whatever Sega’s new game was. This is also true with IDW’s new spin-offs. Except new Sega games are usually pretty shitty. Not to say that “Triple Trouble” or “3D Blast” were exactly masterpieces but they certainly provided more storytelling opportunities than another lame racing game. (For all their many, many mistakes, at least Archie knew better than to try and wring a narrative out of “Sonic R.”)

“Team Sonic Racing” hasn’t even come out yet. Originally scheduled for a Christmas 2018 release date, around the time this comic tie-in was released, the game has been pushed back to May of 2019. This is probably good, as Sega has become notorious for churning out half-finished, broken “Sonic” games. At the same time, it’s hard to get too excited about another racing game. This won’t be another “Sonic-Mania.” It’ll probably be closer in quality to “Sega All-Stars Racing” or something. If we’re lucky.

So what is the excuse plot for this new racing game? It seems a tanuki named Dodon Pa - who, disappointingly, does not have a giant, malleable nutsack - has invited Sonic and his friends to race on the Wisp’s home world. The exact reason why is never revealed, though Mr. Pa sure seems happy to have everyone there. He’s outfitted the gang with special race cars and littered the racetrack with various Wisps power-ups. Eggman, being an asshole, decides he just has to crash the party. He arrives in his own vehicle and attempts to spoil the race. Sonic and pals put aside temporary victory to crush Eggman together.

There was really one thing I was looking forward to with the “Team Sonic Racing” one-shot. The book introduced a new writer to IDW’s “Sonic” books. It’s not that I dislike Ian Flynn. While the quality of IDW’s new book wasn’t all tip-top in its first year, Flynn at least guarantees a certain degree of consistency. At the same time, it would be nice to have another writer providing input into things. (It would be nice if IDW brought Aleah Baker aboard.) So I was perfectly happy to welcome Caleb Goellner aboard the “Sonic” ship, even if I know nothing about him.

So how does the new guy do? Pretty poorly! “Team Sonic Racing” reads a lot like someone ticking off a checklist of items. The characters explain the game mechanics and various power-ups in excruciating detail. About ninety percent of this book’s dialogue is straight-up exposition. It’s exactly as clunky and unnatural sounding as you’d expect. The plot is a farce, Eggman being reduced to a buffoon and no actual motivation ever being provided for Doodah Poon. The majority of the “Sonic” characters show no personality at all. Those that do are reduced to their most basic components. Tails is the smart guy, Shadow has a rivalry with Sonic, Silver comes from a bad future. This reads less like an actual comic and more like an advertisement. Which, of course, is exactly what it is.

I would be willing to forgive a lot of that, if the book was funny. Sadly, Goellner’s skill for comedy are about as strong as his ear for dialogue. Most of the humor here is composed of a character boasting they can do one thing before being immediately humiliated. There’s exactly two decent jokes. The first is when Sonic asks Shadow if he’s cracking too many speed puns. The second comes at the end, when Dada Pooh can’t declare a winner because he can’t tell Sonic and Shadow apart. Other than that, the jokes are bad. Just like the rest of the writing is bad.

Does the book at least look good? Well, yeah. Adam Bryce Thomas provides pencils. While Thomas has created some of the best artwork to appear in the new book, it doesn’t seem his heart is in this one. (Or maybe he just does his best work when he’s his own inker.) The character details are very good. I like Knuckles’ frustrated glowers, Rouge’s looks of annoyance, Eggman’s grotesque gloating. The details on the vehicles - which Thomas, of course, didn’t design - are pretty nice. I like the Omochao piloted bubble car and Vector’s crocodile-shaped Cadillac. However, Thomas’ action scenes are a little hard to follow. The vehicles zip around each other in a way that doesn’t seem coherent. Maybe this is a result of the shaky script, as the way the vehicle’s superpowers function is never very clear.

While I barely think of them as canon, the various “Sonic” racing games have occasionally introduced enduring concepts into “Sonic” lore. That’s where the Babylon Rogues and Tails Doll got their starts and they’re sort of beloved. So what of Doodoo Pee, the mysterious founder of this race? Like I said, we learn almost nothing about the guy. He seems to have organized this race strictly for his own amusement. There seems to be something sinister about him. He’s connected to every vehicle, via a screen in their dashboards. He seems way too excited by the dangerous aspects of the trail. He just lets Eggman race, when the villain shows up unannounced. Considering he floats around in something resembling an Egg Mobile and has a mustache, I’m just going to assume he’s connected with Eggman, if not an android built by the villain. I guess we’ll have to play the game to find out for sure. (You can play it, I’ll read the Wikipedia synopsis in a few months.) Either way, Deedee Ping becoming a beloved member of Sonic’s rogues galley strikes me as unlikely.

As I said, the old Archie game adaptations were hardly great. But at least they usually added something new or interesting to the comic’s world. “Team Sonic Racing” reads more like one of Ian Flynn’s “Another Time, Another Place” stories. It’s a quickie product, thrown together presumably to appease Sega’s demands for a tie-in to a new game no one will remember in six months. While Flynn at least got those stories over with as quickly as possible, Caleb Goellner makes this incredibly tedious to read. I don’t know if the script’s quality is necessarily Goellner’s fault, as I’m sure Sega insisted certain information be included in this comic. But it certainly doesn’t make a great first impression. At least this didn’t interrupt the main book’s storyline. Here’s hoping that Annual goes better. [4/10]