Sonic Underground, Episode 1.16: Friend or Foe?

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.16: Friend or Foe?

Original Air Date: September 20th, 1999

For many "Sonic" fans who are teenagers or just now growing into their twenties, Knuckles has always been part of the franchise. The modern interpretation of the character, a big galoot who is one of Sonic's closest friends and characterized largely by his strength, is all they've ever known. They certainly don't remember when Knuckles was this mysterious character with uncertain alliances. I can't really undersell what a big deal Knuckles was for "Sonic" fans in the nineties. He was a different breed of cool from Sonic, rougher and more ambiguous. I'm certain, among some fans, he was even more beloved than the titular hedgehog.

For fans like me, whose fandom was largely informed by the cartoon shows, I was always chomping at the bit to see Knuckles in animation. This is the sole ace "Sonic Underground" had up its sleeve. With the Japanese OVA unseen by most fans at the time, the sixteenth episode of "Underground" was the beloved echidna's de-facto first appearance in animation. Most of the defenses I've seen of "Underground" are based entirely around it being Knuckles' sole animated appearance for a long time. Now the time has come for me to reflect on this particular incarnation of Sonic's oldest rival.

"Friend or Foe?" is one of the few – maybe the only? – episodes of "Underground" to be directly inspired by the video games, as the plot is loosely based on "Sonic 3." Sonic, Manic, and Sonia ride a weird space capsule vehicle to the legendary and mysterious Floating Island. The Queen is supposedly a regular visitor to this place. Sleet and Dingo track them there, in hopes of retrieving the Chaos Emerald that keeps the island afloat for Robotnik. They soon encounter Knuckles, the island's fabled protector, and trick him into thinking the triplets are the thieves. Conflict soon emerges between Sonic and Knuckles, while the canines sneak off to nag the Emerald.

How does Knuckles fare in his first non-game/non-comic book American appearance? The "Underground" character designers more-or-less stick to his established look. The wonkiness of the animation – more on that later – still has him looking weirdly chubby and Snoopy-ish most of the time. But at least he looks like Knuckles. Since "Friend or Foe?" follows the same outline as "Sonic 3," even down to Knuckles first appearing by exploding out of the earth, his personality is basically intact. He's a rough-and-tumble guy who is so devoted to his duty that he's easily gullible. He also displays a smidge of the guilt and introspection that gave the Archie version of Knuckles so much depth. Veteran V.O. actor Brian Drummond voices him and he sounds a lot closer to the Knuckles I hear in my head when I read the comics than the comically gruff voices the video games usually give him.

Knuckles is mostly intact but, since "Sonic Underground" is an exceptionally bizarre variation on this franchise, it still has to put its own spin on the Floating Island. Knuckles, for whatever reason, has a pet dinosaur named Chomps. He's the only dinosaur to appear on this show and no explanation is given for where he came from or what he's doing here. He acts like a vicious attack dog in earlier scenes before snorting and hooting comically later on. This Floating Island doesn't resemble any previous version of the location, mostly composed of non-descript forest with the occasional weird looking tree. Knuckles has seemingly littered the entire island with traps and that's mostly what he uses in his fight against Manic and Sonia, to the point that it quickly gets ridiculous.

I do like one or two elements from this version of the Floating Island. The chamber the Chaos Emerald is kept in is lined with green crystal formations, a touch that the comic would eventually utilize many years later. There's also a brief scene of Sonic uncovering a hatch in a tunnel that reminds me of the comic's Zoot Chute. But, overall, there's no attempt to integrate the Floating Island into the show's lore. Queen Alena has visited in the past and left a message there for her kids. How she got there or why is never explained. While it's warned that the island will fall from the sky without the Chaos Emerald, it seems to float just fine after Sleet and Dingo make off with it.

I guess "Underground" treats Knuckles okay but it's hard to say for certain, as this episode is largely focused on action. After Sleet and Dingo's deception is established, most of the episode is devoted to Sonic and Knuckles rumbling. And it is, simply put, some of the worst action scenes I've ever seen in a cartoon. Knuckles has exactly one move: Spinning his hands like buzz saws. The show renders this as his arms turning into swirly red circles. He does this countless times in this twenty-one minutes. Sonic, meanwhile, just runs or spins around Knuckles, the two rarely coming to physical blows. This means a long stretch of "Friend or Foe?" is devoted to a blue blur and a pair of red blurs bouncing off each other. The awkwardness of these fight scenes is best emphasized by a moment where Knuckles destroys a bridge Sonic is standing on, out on the island's edge. In a baffling moment, the hedgehog stiffly floats through the air before fireballing through the island's surface.

It's not just the fight scenes that are badly animated. The entire episode is rife with off-model moments and doofy perspective work. Like I said, the size of Knuckles' extremities and body weight seems to shift from moment to moment. This is not the only thing that changes shape throughout the episode. The Chaos Emerald goes from the size of a soccer ball to smaller to bigger and back again multiple times. A particularly hilarious moment has Sonic growing in to massive size to rescue Knuckles. Sonia's keyboard blaster is weirdly jagged in one scene. There's not even much in the way of visual continuity, as Dingo is randomly wearing colorful boxer shorts in one scene without explanation. With the terribly stiff fight scenes and the shoddy character animation, "Friend or Foe?" becomes almost unwatchable at times.

Considering it actually has a new character, setting, and MacGuffin to introduce, there's really no time for a musical number in "Friend Or Foe?" Yet DiC's executive demands that every episode contain a song would not be denied. "Not Always What They Seem" rocks out while the triplets and Knuckles team-up to drive Sleet, Dingo, and the SWATBots off the island. The vocals are nasally and the music is generic pop-rock sludge. The lyrics plainly spell out the point of the episode, of judging people based on their actions and not what you hear about them. It sucks. The most notable thing about this sequence is when Manic defeats a SWATBot by tapping it on the head with a drumstick. Man, Robotnik makes really poor quality robots in this show.

The novelty of seeing Knuckles in animation made "Friend or Foe?" notable in 1999. Nowadays, we have far better options if we want to see a cartoon version of our favorite echidna. While this episode is about standard level quality, as far as writing goes for this show, the atrocious animation brings it down to a new low. [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.15: Sonic Tonic

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.15: Sonic Tonic

Original Air Date: September 17th, 1999

So Robotnik is scorching a jungle to the ground to find a rare specimen known as the Velocitree. No, that's not a feathered predatory dinosaur that's also a tree. It's the fastest growing tree on Mobius. Robotnik processes the plant into a potion, a Sonic Tonic, that is supposed to increase speed. He gives it to Sleet and Dingo and it works. They use their newfound super speed to capture Sonic. Soon, a side-effect – massive swelling of the feet – reveals itself, allowing Sonic to escape with the potion. Unaware of the side effect, Manic and Sonia take the potion. It all ends with a showdown at the Hanging Gardens of Mobius, a fancy tourist attraction the Queen built for her kids.

"Sonic Tonic" is an episode that can't seem to decide where to take its premise. It has, essentially, three set-ups. The first of which involves Sonic facing enemies who are fast as him, a totally cromulent premise for an episode. This only last for the first half, as the episode then turns towards the idea of Sonia and Manic being jealous of Sonic's speed. Again, that by itself would be a fine place to start a story. Then there's the location of the Hanging Gardens, now ruined by Robotnik's abuse of the world. This could have been built into a moral about environmentalism but it the show doesn't go anywhere with that. All these competing ideas result in a very unfocused half-hour.

The intended Moral of the Day revolves around Sonia and Manic's jealousy of Sonic. You know this because the episode ends with them apologizing for not listening to Sonic and Sonic apologizing, in turn, for mocking their slowness in the first place. I guess the moral is "respect your siblings." But, again, it feels very half-formed. Manic and Sonia have never shown any desire to be as fast as their brother before. Some episodes have depicted them as having similar speed naturally! Sonic's teasing was kind of a dick move and, for this moral to make sense, he should've been chastised more. Instead, the jerk was right and the younger siblings trying to even the playing field are corrected. What was the point supposed to be again? Maybe a show about a super fast hedgehog isn't the practical place to dispense common sense everyday life lessons. 

But this is far from the only half-assed leaps in logic in this episode. There is other evidence that nobody thought this through. In the second scene, Robotnik refers to the Velocitree as the last of its kind... Before going to look for more specimens of it later in the episode. It's not clear why the Sonic Tonic works the way it does. Why does "fastest-growing tree" translate to "makes you super-fast?" Shouldn't the giant feet be the only, and immediate, effect? Later, the tonic causes the Hanging Garden to replenish itself in minutes. Which is a more logical example of how this should work. It's just another episode that stinks of an "it's 1 A.M. and this script is due tomorrow morning" attitude.

I'll say this much though: The song that results actually isn't too bad. Sonia and Manic sing a song about wanting to be as fast as Sonic right before taking the tonic. "I Wish I Could Go Faster" has less repetitive lyrics than usual and even one or two rhymes that aren't totally asinine. Whoever Sonia and Manic's singing voices are, they are slightly less nasally and annoying than Sonic's singing voice. The music also reminds me of a little bit of nineties power-pop/alt-rock, which is a decent sound for a "Sonic" musical to emulate. Weezer could do a solid cover of this. Granted, the song is only "not bad" by the standards of this show's terrible soundtrack but that still counts for something.

You might have noticed that I've been ignoring the most salacious element of this episode. For the Sonic Tonic to work, one must pour it on their... Feet. When the side effects kick in, we get multiple scenes of feet growing, exploding out of shoes, and throbbing in agony. There's more than one lingering shot of soles and twitching toes. At least when the "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" writers and animators indulged their fetishes, it was wacky and kind of funny. "Sonic Underground" letting its freak flag fly just feels exhausting. Everything about this show is so boring and half-assed. Even its kinks are uninteresting, disappointing, and mildly uncomfortable.

Also, there's a scene where Dingo is turned into a telescope or something and Sonic looks through him and... It works correctly. I'm really unsettled by the implications of that. You're telling me that, when Dingo is turned into an object, even his internal organs are shifted into functional machinery? Dingo's life must be unending pain. And so is my life, as long as I have to keep watching and reviewing this terrible cartoon. I do it for you, dear reader. Anyway, this episode sucks. [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.14: Bug!

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.14: Bug!

Original Air Date: September 16th, 1999

When the Saturn came out in America, Sega did everything they could to build hype for the new console. It didn't exactly work and the lack of a proper "Sonic the Hedgehog" game has long been considered a factor in the console's disappointing performance. What the Saturn did have was Bug. (Or "Bug!," if you must.) Bug wasn't that different from the "Mascot with 'Tude" Sonic rip-offs that flooded the nineties. He was a cartoon animal that starred in a mediocre platforming game and had a grating, sarcastic personality. However, "Bug!" was actually published by Sega. He was even being groomed as a mascot character for the Saturn.

Why do I bring this up? Because the Sonic News Network wiki informs me that DiC was supposedly developing a "Bug" cartoon, further cementing his status as the next Sonic. They say the cartoon never got out of development and the sole remnant of its existence is the title of this "Sonic Underground" episode. However, the wiki's claim isn't sourced and I can't find any other information about this supposed "Bug" animated series. I'm betting the entire thing is a big coincidence and I don't know why I brought it up at all!

So, no, this episode does not feature Sonic and his siblings teaming up with a green insect in red shoes. Instead, it concerns Sonic saving Manic from a new SWATBot. After wrecking it, they hear a message from the still active radio transmitter about Queen Alena being spotted in Quadrant 10. Quadrant 10 is a desert area with burning oil wells. They soon run into Rudy, a Freedom Fighter whose friends turned against him after being stung by robotic flies with brainwashing venom. After going off on his own, Manic is stung by one of these flies. Unaware that he's now a sleeper agent for Robotnik, Manic attempts to upset a scheme to destroy the fly-bots.

You can always tell when a "SatAM" veteran is the writer of a "Sonic Underground" episode. "Bug" comes to us from Len Janssen. Janssen and Ben Hurst's scripts always refer to the rebel forces against Robotnik as Freedom Fighters, while other episodes tend to favor "the resistance" or "the underground." The StealthBot that attacks Manic in the first scene resembles a "SatAM" SWATBot, with its gray color and dome-like head, more than the purple-and-red SWATBots usually seen in this episode. Robotnik's egg-shaped fortress and spinning throne, also holdovers from "SatAM," get prominent appearances in this episode too.

This episode also follows the "SatAM" house rule of "there must always be losses." Rudy has his village razed to the ground. At first, he's convinced that means all his friends and family are dead or Roboticized. At the episode's conclusion, he discovers everyone got out in the time. The village is gone but the Freedom Fighters survive. That's nice and all but we never really care about Rudy. We never learn much about his personality or history. He's just a laidback, dinosaur-looking dude dressed like a road warrior. (Maurice LaMarche gives him an Australian accent, seemingly confirming that connection.) The character is just a plot device, meant to introduce the fly-bots. He's no different than the report that the queen was spotted in the area, another contrivance meant to advance the story that never actually goes anywhere.

This is also one of the more moral-focused episodes of "Underground." Queen Alena's opening narration explicitly says that Manic has to learn a lesson about teamwork. In the very first scene, Sonic chastises him for surfing alone. He gets bitten by the robo-bugs when he impulsively goes into the desert in the middle of the night. Just to make sure the audience gets the point, the episode ends with Sonic and Sonia letting Manic how dumb he was to go off on his own. That last part is handled with some humor, so at least the Lesson of the Day isn't jackhammer obvious like some shows aimed at seven-year-olds. It's only sledgehammer obvious.

Otherwise, I don't have a whole lot to say about this one. There's some mildly disturbing close-ups on Sonic's ass. Manic's nose inflates after the bug bite. Sonia is still written as obnoxiously girly here, as she has a visceral disgust of insects. The song, "Never Give Up the Fight," is as generic as an "Underground" song can be. The highly repetitive lyrics don't touch on anything specific about the episode and the music is a mediocre rock beat. I've already forgotten everything about it. God help me, but I think a crossover with an annoying green bug would've been more memorable. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.13: Artifact

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.13: Artifact

Original Air Date: September 15th, 1999

If you thought previously installments of "Sonic Underground" had obvious and lazy titles, here Michael Edens just names the entire episode after a random word said a few times in the script. He could've called it "The Orb" or "Exploding the Past" or something like that. But, nope. Either DiC's schedule had the writers so rushed, or they were so hopelessly bereft of ideas, that the first word they thought of when conceiving the story is what the episode got called. 

"Artifact" is so named because it begins with Sonic, Sonia, and Manic having infiltrated an auction Robotnik is throwing. Robotnik is auctioning off what he claims are artifacts from the legendary city of Mobupinchu. In order to protect these priceless items, the triplets wreck the party and steal the doodads. They soon learn that the relics aren't from Mobupinchu but are, instead, unexplored ordinance from a long ago war. Unaware, Manic sells an orb to a shady dealer who then sells it back to Bartleby. The heroes have to reclaim the dangerous prop before it explodes, all while Sleet and Dingo are on their tails. Along the way, the real Mobupinchu is discovered. 

"Artifact" is another bad episode of "Sonic Underground" that didn't have to be bad. This plot actually has some potential for tension. The literal ticking bomb at the center of the story provides a time limit, a natural way to increase tensions. That our heroes are the only people who know how dangerous the item is could've further increased the suspense. Furthermore, they are being actively pursued by the baddies for most of the episode, as the guy Manic sold the orb to immediately rats them out. The confrontation in Bartleby's mansion is nearly a successful action sequence. 

Yet, as always, the show undermines its own potential. The bomb has a time limit of 12 hours, which is a little too long to generate much suspense. Also, far too many people are too stupid to realize the thing with counting-down numbers on it might be some type of explosive. It doesn't help that Bartleby – by far the most annoying character in a show full of annoying characters – is the person in danger for most of the run time. The plot circling back to the real Mobupinchu at the end doesn't make a lot of sense. Mostly, there's a lot of dumb humor involving Sleet and Dingo, who is forcibly transformed into the orb at the end. 

Like many episodes of "Sonic Underground," this one has a heavy-handed moral message. At first, I thought the show was going to be about the dangers of unexploded land mines. That was a real concern in some parts of the world following the end of the Cold War, even prompting a "Batman" comic on the topic. But the real focus here is on greed and the exploitation of ancient cultures. Or, at least, that's the moral the episodes wants you to think about. The execution is so half-assed. Robotnik forces his party guests at the beginning to bid on the artifacts – oh, those poor rich people! – and the real Mobupinchu is never actually threatened. Robotnik doesn't even know where it is. Bartleby is a greedy snob but collecting art is not the same thing as corporate exploitation of indigenous lands. It's a confused message that clearly nobody thought about for more than a few minutes. 

As the show usually does, the episode attempts to sum up this blurry theme with its song. The musical number is bluntly entitled "You Can't Own Everything," a phrase that also makes up most of its lyrics. Sonic and the band launch into this song when the bomb is about to go off, which seems like a really bad time to be singing. The song is a quasi-heavy metal number and it's not entirely terrible. Screaming guitars is one of the few things this show's musical team did okay. The lyrics suck and the singing is dreadful but the music's not too bad. The destruction of indigenous culture is a topic worthy of a heavy metal song but a more inside-out approach – focused, ya know, on the killing and destruction and all that – probably would've fit the genre better. 

But there are more pressing concerns this episode raises in my mind. Namely: Why did Sonia ever like Bartleby? In previous episodes, she's been shown swooning over this guy. Even though he's always been depicted as a snobbish fop worthy of mockery. Sonia actually does get disgusted at Bartleby in this episode, suggesting she's officially sick of his bullshit. That still doesn't change that she was seriously crushed on him in the past. "Sonic Underground" depicts Mobius' ruling class as so conceited that they don't even notice the waiters at the auction are the planet's most wanted fugitives. Sonic and Manic aren't even wearing hats! Yet Sonia was once part of this crowd too and she still hasn't had much character development since then. I'm sure there will be future episodes where Sonia is fawning over her asshole ex-boyfriend again. An inevitable side effect of having a bunch of random dudes write for the same show.

Another inconsistency across "Underground," and something that specifically keeps this episode from being tense, is the effectiveness of the SWATBots. In no iteration of "Sonic" are Robotnik's mechanical goons much of a threat. Yet the "Underground" SWATBots have gotten increasingly more ineffective as the show has gone on. Here, Sonic explodes two of them with some thrown plates. Later, he runs between two bots, who gently tap each other while reaching for him and then explode. At one point, seemingly just zooming around some SWATBots is enough to make them combust. No wonder Robotnik is running phony auctions to raise funds to build more. These guys have the structural integrity of a used Ford Pinto. 

This episode is about as good as I'd expect from one flatly named after the type of MacGuffin it's built around. Perhaps this might've been half decent if "Sonic Underground" wasn't the show it was. But "Sonic Underground" was "Sonic Underground," a circular but self-evident piece of logic I'm choosing to end this review with. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 42

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 42

Publication Date: July 21st, 2021

I have such a weird relationship with IDW's "Sonic" comics. There have been a few times when I've been really into it, eagerly anticipating the next issue. And then there have been times, like this week, where I forget what happened in the last issue until I read the new issue. Which I only remembered to do because someone on Twitter reminded me "hey, the new issue is out today." I think the awesomeness of the anniversary special wiped out my recollection of the last regular (mediocre) issue. But, hey, you are reading these words right now, so clearly, I'm staying ahead of things.

Anyway... "Zeti Hunt, Part 2" starts with Jewel on a video call with Sonic, Tails, and the Chaotix. They have deduced that the Deadly Six have been attacking the villages they attempted to conquer during the Metal Virus crisis. It seems like a good bet but they are wrong. The Zetis instead attack Restoration HQ directly, catching everyone off-guard. Meanwhile, Dr. Starline sneaks into the base at the exact same time and uses the chaos to capture Belle, whom he seems to have nefarious plans for. 

The Freedom Fighters Restoration weren't the only ones caught off-guard by the Deadly Six pivoting from their expected path. This is a plot twist that successfully surprised me too. When Zavok throws a flaming truck at a sleeping security guard – possible "Manhunter" reference??? – it sure got my attention too. I guess I've gotten so use to Ian Flynn's mediocre plotting that, when he tells us what the characters are going to do, I just believe him. Does that mean kicking this story arc off with an underwhelming issue actually a fiendish scheme to make this issue's events more unexpected? Probably not but it worked out anyway.

This issue also satisfactorily brings together two of the book's lingering plot points. I really expected this entire story arc to simply focus on Sonic and pals fighting the Deadly Sox, since that's what all the solicitations seem to say. Dr. Starline entering into this story was also a surprise. Considering watching big colorful monsters tear shit up has limited appeal, Starline sneaking around makes for a good counterpoint. It was also wise to play off Belle's on-going circumstances, as that's the most compelling plot point the comic has right now. 

The most memorable thing about the first part of this story arc was the brief insight we got into Zeti philosophy. That continues here. After busting into Restoration HQ, Zavok and the gang are disappointed to only be met with a handful of armed guards. Master Zik observes that the furries live in peace when Eggman isn't around. They know nothing of conquest or conflict when an outside force isn't involved. I don't know how serious Flynn wants us to take this observation but I'm betting it's supposed to be bullshit. We know avaricious and power-hungry critters like Mimic, Clutch, Rough, Tumble, and Starline exist in this universe. I'm assuming this observation is meant to tell us more about the Zetis than Sonic's gang. Their lives are so consumed by violence that, when they see people who don't spend every waking minute focused on conquering shit, they just assume they're all a bunch of lazy, empty-headed peaceniks. If Flynn did this on purpose, it's another subtle way to build up the Zetis' cultural obsession with warfare. 

What ultimately makes this a stronger issue is something I've lauded Ian Flynn for doing during his better moments. That would be sneaking little character moments in-between the smashing and trashing. We have Charmy waving hi to Jewel in the background of the video chat with Vector, behavior befitting a small child. When Starline comes to claim Belle, the gearhead orangutan who was previously an asshole to her stands up for her. Good to know that big orange guy isn't a total prick. Belle's interaction with Starline – nudging herself towards getting away from him whenever possible–  is also pretty cute. For that matter, so is an adorable panel of Starline geeking out when he thinks about Belle in the context of Eggman creations. He really is a fanboy, having a joygasm when discussing new discovery by his favorite creator. (Who just happens to be a world-conquering tyrant.)

My favorite little bit of character development occurs when Sonic is chilling at Winterburg, sipping hot coco with a cozy blanket around his legs. He looks out the window and sees two kids playing with snowballs. He thinks about how "everyone wants to forget the Metal Virus was even a thing." That everyone is eager to get back to their normal lives. At first, I was going to bitch about how Flynn once again wants to sweep the aftermath of the Zombot crisis under the rug... But then I realized he's not talking about the Metal Virus, you guys. I don't know how far in advance these comics are written. If he wrote this issue in the middle of lockdown or if it was done more recently, when rising vaccination rates made it look like normal life may resume soon. Considering the first third of this issue is devoted to a Zoom conference, I'm guessing the latter. Either way, it's nice to see that Flynn, however obliquely, is finally referencing the world-shattering pandemic that his stupid cartoon animal comic just happened to resemble. 

This issue also marks the first time Tracy Yardley has drawn a "Sonic" comic in quite a while. As far as I can tell, his last issue was #18, in June of 2019. It's nice to see Yardley back after such a long absence. The only way you can tell that he might be a tad rusty is that the Zetis look a little goofy in a couple of panels. Check out Zeena doing the Adventure pose on page nine, with her dainty little feet. Otherwise, Yardley's work is solid and there's even two pages that look excellent. That would be the Zetis storming into Restoration HQ, which features some really nice shading, and Sonic speeding off to make it back to base, which is depicted as a series of sonic booms breaking across the countryside.

Overall, it's an unexpectedly good issue. I don't even mind Flynn having Tails talk about two new gadgets that will presumably factor into the Deadly Six's defeat. It would be real nice if he was planning on subverting that particular set-up as well. A strong plot twist pairing with some decent little character works makes for a very enjoyable issue. Also, Starline mentions both "serenity now" and "fear is the mind killer," two references I did not expect to see in a "Sonic the Hedgehog" comic book. [7/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.12: A Hedgehog's Home is Her Castle

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.12: A Hedgehog's Home is Her Castle

Original Air Date: September 14th, 1999

"A Hedgehog's Home is Her Castle" begins with Manic loitering around a sewer for some reason. He discovers a scroll he thinks was hidden by the queen but is, in fact, a trap set by Sleet and Dingo. The note says Sonia has inherited a castle from an obscure cousin. Sonic and Manic are reluctant but eventually decide to tag along. The castle is full of bats, cobwebs, rats, secret traps, and passageways. There's also a magic mirror, placed there by the real Queen Alena. Sonic and the others soon figure out something funky is going on, especially after Sonic coerces a confession out of token spooky groundskeeper Balloc. Luckily, they are prepared to turn the location against Sleet and Dingo after they arrive. 

If, by some chance, you don't know already, I am a huge horror movie buff. I especially love the classic monster movies of the thirties. So "A Hedgehog's Home is Her Castle" already wins some points with me for indulging in some monster movie atmosphere. The spooky castle is obviously patterned after Dracula's castle. Balloc, whose name sounds a lot like Bela, seems to be some sort of bat. Maurice LaMarce provides his best Hungarian vampire voice for the character. The abundance of traps and secret passageways brings a hundred old dark house movies to mind. It's definitely more on the "Scooby-Doo" end of the spooky castle spectrum but the ambiance still goes a long way. 

Sadly, that's about the only thing about this episode I like. "A Hedgehog's Home is Her Castle" leans heavily in dumbass comic relief. There's an entirely superfluous sequence where Sonic outruns Sleet and Dingo through the streets of Robotropolis, the two bounty hunters being mocked and humiliated in the process. It has no effect on the plot and I honestly wonder if it wasn't inserted simply to pad the episode out. Later, there's a scene where Sonic brings Balloc to his knees just by playing a guitar riff, a predictable gag I'm shocked it took the show this long to use. Balloc also carries around a seemingly stuffed owl named Hooter, that the episode stops to acknowledge multiple times. As if the idea of the groundskeeper having an eccentric obsession with a taxidermized animal was inherently hilarious. 

This episode also emphasizes why I dislike Queen Alena so much. In this episode, she emerges from the magic mirror to give a sleeping Manic the information he'll need later to escape the castle. Not only does the queen's presence raise some questions, considering the entire plot was a set-up by Sleet and Dingo, it's just lazy writing. The show writer falls back, once more, on using Alena as a deus ex machina. She appears out of nowhere, drops plot resolving information, and then disappears again. 

Furthermore, I just continue to hate this bullshit about how she desperately wants to be with her kids but just can't. At the episode's conclusion, Alena watches her children from the shadows and quietly weeps. Prophecies be damned, if you loved your kids that much, you'd be with them. It's shitty, contrived writing designed to keep the series' story going. This isn't the first time I've complained about it and it won't be the last. 

I'll give the episode some minor positive feedback though. Sleet uses his shape shifting ray in a way that's actually sneaky. He disguises Dingo as Queen Alena and has him set up a trap. Considering the queen's appearance is public knowledge, and everyone knows the triplets long to be reunited with their mom, it really shouldn't have taken the bad guys this long to capitalize on that. Sleet also transforms Dingo into a chili dog vendor too, another move that should've been obvious considering how often Sonic mentions his trademark favorite food. "SatAM" vet Len Janssen wrote this one and he includes some elements mildly reminiscent of that show too, like Sonic's magnetic shoes or some flying drones that vaguely resemble StealthBots. 

Of course, it wouldn't be a Hedgehogs Can't Swim "Sonic Underground" if I didn't rip into the episode's required song. This has the generic moniker of "Let's Do It to It" – another possible "SatAM" homage? – and plays over a montage of the triplets activating the castle's various traps, smashing SWATBots and humiliating Dingo. So at least it moves the plot forward. While the lyrics are typically garbage, I don't totally hate the music this time. Befitting the spooky castle setting, Sonia switches her keyboard to its "ominous organ" setting. That pairs well with a fast-paced pop number. I'm not adding it to my Halloween playlist or anything but it's definitely one of the more tolerable songs from this show. 

It's definitely a dumb twenty-one minutes of television, with some crappy writing that annoys the shit out of me. Yet the episode's setting appeals to me and the writer has some mild fun with it. Considering how incredibly unappealing "Underground" is on its best days, that does make this one of the more memorable episodes. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.11: Winner Fakes All

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.11: Winner Fakes All

Original Air Date: September 13th, 1999

Long time Hedgehogs Can't Swim readers are probably aware of the fact that I bank reviews many months in advance. An extensive backlog insures a steady flow of new content. Or, at least, this is the idea. The periods of inactivity this blog has had in the past can be owed to me running out of stuff to post. Why am I mentioning this? Because I've been reviewing episodes at a much slower rate than I was previously. I can attribute this to “Sonic Underground” being a really unpleasant show to watch. “Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog” was frequently stupid as hell but I at least had some weird nostalgic connection to it. “Underground” is like getting your teeth drilled. The point I'm making is: If the updates suddenly stop again, you'll know it's because “Sonic Underground” broke me.

So, uh, anyway.. What is “Winner Fakes All” about? Manic, Sonic, and Sonia stop a truck hulling innocent Mobians into the city to be roboticized. Upon freeing the prisoners – who don't even thank them – they realize Robotnik has been capturing runners. That's because he's building a super-fast robot. This is step one in holding a race to determine the fastest thing on Mobius, an obvious trap to lure Sonic out. Sonic doesn't take the bait but his brother and sister assume he will, putting themselves in danger. 

I've commented before that “Sonic Underground” was pretty heavily influenced by “SatAM,” at least as far its world and general premise goes. This would lead you to assume the “Underground” writers were passingly familiar with the previous cartoon. I guess this is not true of Mark Edens, the writer of this episode. As “Winner Fakes All” is rather similar to the “SatAM” episode, “Sonic Racer.” In both, Robotnik throws a race to lure Sonic out. In both, he builds a super fast robot, to match the hedgehog's speed. Much like in that episode, Sonic also throws on a disguise to enter the race. (Here, he's in drag, because this show just has to be like this.)

Then again, maybe Edens was familiar with the previous cartoon. While its initial premise is very similar to “Sonic Racer,” the episode goes in a very different direction from there. Sonic opting out of the race is, at least, something different for that character. However, it ends up leaving the episode with little in the way of stakes. Okay, Manic and Sonia end up being in danger, by presuming their brother will be in trouble. Sonic has to rush in and save them, in an extended action scene. Yet a large part of “Winner Fakes All's” run time is still devoted to this race... A race that has no importance to the actual story. Sonic isn't participating and the outcome doesn't matter at all. It's just weird that the episode focuses so much time on this irrelevant event.

Then again, maybe I've got the wrong idea. Maybe “Winner Fakes All” isn't suppose to be suspenseful or compelling or interesting. Instead, perhaps this is suppose to be a funny episode. There's a lot of surreal, mildly obnoxious attempts at humor here. When Sonic puts together his gender-bending disguise, he races into a salon and spins everyone inside around. Sleet wears a baby bonnet in one scene, for poorly explained reasons. Later, he transforms Dingo into a little girl in a dress on some sort of motorized unicycle. Before the race starts, a SWATBot rockets into the air and explodes. Bartleby, Sonia's sometimes boyfriend, is repeatedly made an object of mean-spirited mockery here. He's left with a fucked-up hair-do in the salon and later gets Robotnik's race-bot – who looks like a turtle, presumably as some sort of half-assed reference to the Tortoise and the Hare – dropped on him. These jokes range from badly timed to utterly meaningless. 

Perhaps the most blatant example of the episode's random sense of humor is its musical number. Once Sonic realizes what is happening – that Sonia and Manik have put themselves in danger ostensibly to save him – he goes speeding off to save the day. The musical montage that follows is, for no particular reason, set to a bluegrass number. Bluegrass is a wonderful genre of music that is, too often, reduced to an annoying stereotype of hee-hawing noise. That's, naturally, what we get here. Also, included in this montage is a truly unnecessary shout-out to Marilyn Monroe and “The Seven Year Itch.” 

It's not the most offensive, annoying, or outright bad episode of “Sonic Underground” I've watched thus far. The animation and character work is typically bad, a fact that barely feels worth commenting on anymore. Honestly, “Winner Fakes All” is almost impressive in how it manages to be both pretty weird and incredibly boring. I guess we can credit this to a story largely devoid of dramatic tension, that the writer attempted to bolster with lots of wacky humor. As with everything to do with this show, it's an abject failure. I've just got to power through, uh, 27 more of these. [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.10: Come Out Wherever You Are

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.10: Come Out Wherever You Are

Original Air Date: September 10th, 1999

In "Come Out Wherever You Are," Sonic and his siblings have some important Freedom Fighter shit to do. Robotnik has built a bio-mechanical war ship called the Predator, specifically designed to track down living beings and roboticized them. The Underground has to sabotage it before it's too late... But Sonia has other things on her mind. She's been invited to a debutante ball by her once-flame Bartleby. Sonic and Manic think up a scheme to allow their sister to live her princess fantasy and save the world. 

"Come Out Wherever You Are" is another Ben Hurst/Pat Allee joint. It brings back Cyrus from "Tangled Webs," who has apparently graduated to the Resistance's "smart guy." Much like that episode, it also highly resembles "SatAM." The premise – Robotnik's new invention threatens the Freedom Fighters, so Sonic has to sabotage it before it's too late – is highly reminiscent of that series. There's also a scene where Sonic runs around an industrial library with a backpack on, which gave me some nostalgia for a better show. (Sonic also wears streaky war paint in that scene for some reason. It looks goofy.) Sonic also wears a disguise in one scene, giving me "AoStH" flashback, though Bartleby sees through it pretty quickly. 

The best thing about this episode is also the most unexpected thing about it. Sonia is definitely my least favorite of Sonic's siblings. Her prissy rich girl attitude is annoying and the show has done little to define her beyond that. Shockingly, this episode actually manages to generate some sympathy for Sonia. She may be a spoiled little rich girl but she still had the only life she ever knew ripped away from her. The idea of feeling sad about someone missing their debutante ball seems absurd. Bitch, we're fighting a war! (Also, Bartleby is a textbook definition of a ponce.) Yet, by framing this as something she's dreamed about her whole life that she'll miss out on, I did end up feeling kind of sorry for Sonia. Usually, I only feel annoyance or indifference towards her so that's a pleasant change. 

"Come Out Wherever You Are" is also interesting for introducing some far-out sci-fi ideas into this show's universe. The Predator is a war ship that Robotnik has grown an organic brain for. Once this fleshy brain is installed into the mechanical ship, the whole thing will morph into a unstoppable, bio-mechanical entity. Moments like this is when I remember "Sonic Underground" is from France, where the precedence for sci-fi is more Moebius than Roddenberry. Sadly, the episode never actually shows us the bad-ass meat ship because Sonic and the gang successfully sabotage the brain installation process. 

In fact, "Come Out Wherever You" never really finds any balance between the quest to stop the Predator and Sonia trying to enjoy her debutante ball. The two plots awkwardly co-exist and never really come together. The script tries to up some of the tension, with Sonia having to do both at the same time. Because she's the best pilot, it's her job to cyber-hijack the Predator. Yet the competing storylines just make it look like she enjoys her ball for a few minutes and then speeds off to do the actually important shit. The two premises are not balanced, the episode focusing on one for a long time before awkwardly switching focus to the other. 

Yet this episode does achieve something I didn't expect: I don't totally hate the song this time. After Sonic reveals the plan that will allow Sonia both to be a Freedom Fighter and get her princess dream, she launches into a musical number called "Society Girl." The song is pretty clearly inspired by Madonna's "Material Girl." Society girls live in high-fashioned worlds, the lyrics tell us, much the way material girls live in material world. I have a soft spot for eighties synth-pop, so I don't mind the production this time. Unlike every other genre the show's musicians have tried out, a goofy Madonna riff is in their wheelhouse. Even the vocal performances are a little less ear-splitting than usual.

The song might be tolerable for once but "Sonic Underground" is never free of typical "Sonic Underground" shit. Sleet still transforms Dingo into several humiliating forms, including a "Brain That Wouldn't Die"-style lab set. This series seems indecisive over whether Sonic's siblings share his speed. Usually, they depict Manic and Sonia keeping up with a hoverboard and motorcycle. Yet here, Sonia can perform her own Sonic-style tornado spin. The moment that truly made me turn on this otherwise not-terrible episode was Queen Alena dropping in on Sonia's ball long enough to send her a special present. For fuck's sake, mom, just spend time with your goddamn kids! This whole "sending messages from the shadows" shit is exasperating. Also, there's some gratuitous cross dressing from Sonic and Manic near the end for reasons I don't recall.

Once again, I just have to reckon with a not-completely-terrible episode of "Sonic Underground" still having dumb shit in it. At least you can feel Hurst and Allee trying to create a decent story here. It doesn't work but, since it's this show we're talking about here, a gold "you tried" sticker is still worth something. Even if Queen Alena is increasingly making Locke look like a good parent. [5.5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.09: The Last Resort

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.09: The Last Resort

Original Air Date: September 9th, 1999

When I was reviewing my way through "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" not too long ago, I noted that three of the "Sonic" cartoons – "AoStH," "Underground" and "Sonic X's" English dub – had episodes entitled "The Last Resort." The prophecy is fulfilled, at least partially. It's absolutely a coincidence that the title would be reused, as the pun was just irresistible, I guess. But it is interesting that this episode and the "AoStH" have two minor elements in common: A premise of a vacation resort not being all it appears and a newly introduced supporting character who wears "cool" sunglasses.

The episode begins with Sonic and his siblings looking for the "Royalcy" of Mobius. I have no idea what the fuck that means either – a Google search only points towards a hip-hop artist – but it's apparently a big vault. And it doesn't matter cause it's just a trap set by Sleet and Dingo. While on the run, the triplets come upon a seemingly unspoiled valley. A guy named Stripes runs the place and describes it as a vacation resort, untouched by Robotnik. Sonic is suspicious but Sonia, smitten with Stripes, wants to stay. Stripes is reporting to Robotnik but he's reluctant to rat out the triplets. Soon, after the villagers discover the new guests are part of the Resistance, he has to confront his feelings.

We're only eleven episodes into this retrospective and "Sonic Underground" is already starting to repeat itself. "The Last Resort" touches on ideas that were present in "Mobodoon" and "Tangled Webs." As in the former, it concerns an idyllic village that is still stuck in the royal days of Mobius, Robotnik seemingly having passed it by. As in "Tangled Webs," it concerns an otherwise good person being forced to work with Robotnik. The executions are different enough, I guess, that it's okay the show revisited these ideas... Though maybe whoever made these decisions still should've saved "The Last Resort" a little later in "Underground's" run.

Regardless, "The Last Resort" is a little better than those other episodes. Unlike in "Mobodoon," the village that seems too good to be true actually is. And Stripes' dilemma is more complicated than Cyrus', as he's not just being blackmailed. Stripes believes that resisting Robotnik's tyranny makes the dictator's actions worst. That the Resistance is just exacerbating an already bad situation by fighting back. The villagers feel the same way and actively pester Manic after he reveals he's a freedom fighter. (Seemingly exploring an idea I was hoping to see in "The Deepest Fear.") This does seem realistic, that some people lay down for a fascists regime just because they think it's safer to obey.

"The Last Resort," most surprisingly, even includes a relevant political message. After Stripes reports back to Robotnik that two of the triplets are in the village – hoping to protect Sonia – the military forces still sweep through the town. Stripes is still about to be Roboticized before he's rescued. Having learn that fascists only protect other fascists, the town folks fight back and join the Resistance. They're still sort of assholes but at least they come around before the end. Considering this show just did an episode about how rich people shouldn't pay taxes and homeless children are terrible, I'm surprised to see a moral like this that actually makes sense.

Once again, calling an episode of "Sonic Underground" good comes with a great big asterisk. The dumbest thing about this one is Sonia and Stripes' relationship. The two immediately hit it off, seemingly just because Stripes' village allows Sonia some much missed luxuries. When she learns that Stripes is pro-fascist, as long as it doesn't affect him, Sonia has a dilemma. She launches into a (terrible, of course) song about how conflicted she feels, how she's pulled between her love of freedom and her feelings for Stripes... Ya know, this guy she just met a few hours ago and is only attracted to because he's charming and gives her access to a bubble bath.

That's just the way it is with this show. Even the episodes with some half-interesting ideas still have shallow writing and a fucking dreadful song. (This one is a calypso number, for some fucking reason, and tries to rhyme "road" with "known.") And incredibly awkward animation too. A sequence where Sonic is playing tennis with himself is hideously framed and ends with Sonic speeding off as a disembodied head. There are several scene transitions which begin by zooming into Sonic's pupil, which is so weird looking. Like every character on this show, Stripes has a terrible design. The human style hair atop his feline looks so fucking awkward. His overdone outfit includes a cape, a vest, a tunic, red spandex, and sunglasses. Are you Renn Fair or Malibu beach, fucker? Pick a century and stick with it.

Despite the overwhelming "Underground"-ness of it all, I still have to give "The Last Resort" the softest of recommendations. It actually grapples with the complexities of this series' conflict and adds more depth to its world. Sonic, Sonia, and Manic are still annoying static – Manic is still shoplifting – and everything is dumb and ugly. But at least some visible thought was put into this one. That counts for something. [6/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.09: Who Do You Think You Are

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.08: Who Do You Think You Are

Original Air Date: September 8th, 1999

Just the other day, I reviewed an episode of "Sonic Underground" written by Ben Hurst and Pat Allee. While I don't know if I'd go so far as to call the episode good, it was definitely good by the standards of this show. If nothing else, I could see shades of "SatAM" in that one. This gave me hope that Hurst and Allee's other "Underground" installments would be, at the very least, tolerable. That hope has now been dashed as "Who Do You Think You Are" is the same trash I've come to expect from this program. 

Sonic and his siblings hear a rumor that Queen Alena's journals are underneath the desert nation of Tashistan. They arrive in the city at the same time as Sleet and Dingo. Sonia meets a kindly thief named Raffi during a foot chase. During the same chase, she is conked on the head by Dingo while he's transformed into a surveillance drone. This causes her to lose her memory, though luckily Raffi's family takes her in. Unaware of its significance, she trades her medallion for some bread and it quickly falls into Sleet's hands. Even after Sonic and Manic locate their lost sister and she regains her memories, they still have to retrieve the medallion. (Typing these plots out really make you realize how convoluted they are.)

Knowing what the production of this show was like, I guess I can't blame Hurst and Allee for falling back on an old cliché like easy amnesia. It's just that this is the seventh time a plot point like this has come up on this blog. "Underground" doesn't really bring anything new to the premise either. It amounts to a handful of scenes with Raffi and Sonia out on the street. If it wasn't for a minor moment, where Sonia's memory loss causes her to cry a little, I would say the plot point happens strictly for contrivance's sake. It's so Sonia's medallion can get snatched, motivating the back half of the episode. The bumps on the noggin that steal and return Sonia's memory don't seem especially severe either. If a slight bump on the head is all it takes, people on Mobius must be running around without their memories all the time.

One must also address the setting of Tashistan. It is a stereotypical Middle Eastern desert location. Raffi dresses like Aladdin. There are domed, temple-like buildings in the background. Much of the episode is set around an open marketplace. Turbans and fezzes are commonplace and all the women are veiled... Which raises the sort of questions this show really isn't prepared to answer. Does Islam exist on this version of Mobius? It's not offensive – as long as you don't mind obviously white actors doing vague accents – but it does seem a little off in a way I can't quite verbalize. Especially since the exotic location really affects the story in no real way. 

The decision to adopt a Middle Eastern setting for this episode becomes really questionable when Sonic starts singing about the "wind across the desert sand" over sitar music. I thought sitars were an Indian thing? The song is called "We Need to Be Free" and the lyricists were really not trying that day. Sample lyrics: "Freedom is a golden bird that lets us fly." Moments like that remind you that these songs were written by Frenchmen who probably didn't speak English as a first language. At least the musical number is barely justified by the plot, as Sonic and Manic use the song to lure out Sonia. 

Then again, maybe the questionable depiction of Middle Eastern culture isn't what really makes me uncomfortable about this episode. The body-horror of Dingo's form being twisted is present and accounted for. Here, he's turned into a floating robotic drone – figure out the physics of that on your own – and a slug-like mermaid. The episode ends with Raffi getting half-Roboticized, left with robot legs. He doesn't seem to mind this at all, even though one assumes it means half his digestive system is now metal. (I guess it never bothered Bunnie.) I'd like to get though one of these without thinking about the fragile mutability of the flesh. 

This episode also seems distressingly obsessed with muck and slime. Sonia cakes her face in mud twice, the second time with very little prompting or reason. Later, she's covered head-to-toe in an unidentifiable creamy substance. Sonic and Manic also get shoved face-first into sewage, fish bones and trash caught in their hair. The same fate befalls Sonia shortly afterwards. She doesn't mind getting all grimy and squishy either, which is actually a plot point. I really don't want to assume this is a sex thing. Regardless of motive, it's gross and unnecessary. 

Then again, why wouldn't I assume it's a sex thing considering this episode also features Sonic and Manic cross dressing as belly dancers and successfully seducing Sleet? Once again, I want to point out that "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" could sort of get away with Sonic donning paper thin disguises and easily fooling his enemies, on account of being a goofy comedy show. "Underground" obviously wants to be taken more seriously than that. Yet it still goes for the broad comedy of Sonic and his brother putting on a dress and bra and Sleet being pretty into it. I'm not passing judgement on Sleet's sexuality but he probably should've noticed that two of his greatest enemies were shaking their asses right in front of him. Really kind of changes the context of him constantly chasing them, doesn't it?

Anyway... Sorry, "Sonic" cartoons always distract me when they include disturbingly vivid fetishes barely disguised as wacky comedy. Oh yeah, the whole business about Alena's journal also ends up being an obnoxiously vague red herring. This show is really just going to keep doing that for forty episodes, isn't it? Only thirty more left to go! [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.07: The Deepest Fear

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.07: The Deepest Fear

Original Air Date: September 7th, 1993

Despite the name of this blog, I don't take the idea of Sonic being unable to swim very seriously. Lots of media depict him as having no trouble with water. Considering how strong his legs are from all that running, it doesn't even make sense that Sonic can't swim. Yet, because Yuji Naka was operating under the mistaken belief that real hedgehogs really can't swim, that is Sega's official statement on the matter. In the games, Sonic just sinks to the bottom when stepping into water. (Presumably because drowning made an innovative hazard and programming a swimming action would've been really hard.) Most "Sonic" media doesn't comment on this but "Underground" exaggerated the hedgehog's inability to swim into full-on hydrophobia. That fear took center stage in "The Deepest Fear."

The royal triplets hear their mother may be hanging around Port Mobius, a port town. This is a problem for Sonic, who has a deep rooted fear of the water. When they arrive, they discover that the entire town is faithful to Robotnik. That's because the residents of Port Mobius live in fear of a sea monster called Moby Deep, who has been sinking their ships, and Robotnik promises to protect them. Pursued by Sleet and Dingo, the trio meet up with Captain Squeegee, captain of a cruise ship. Squeegee hopes to hunt down Moby Deep and stop it. Sonic soon discovers that the real Moby Deep is docile and that a Robotnik submarine shaped like the monster is responsible for the sinkings. In the process, he faces his fear. 

Once again, the promise of meeting their mom is just the shallowest excuse to send the hedgehogs on an unrelated adventure. (Turns out Queen Alena is the name of the fucking ship, that hoary cliche.) The whole sea monster premise/"20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" homage really is the least interesting idea here. More intriguing is the idea of a town that actually likes Robotnik. It makes sense. As we all know, fascists always have their true believers. Showing how dictators play on the public's fears to stay in power is a great idea this cartoon would never explore. But throwing Sonic, Sonia, and Manic into a place where they aren't welcome would've, at least, been a decent set-up for an episode. Alas, Port Mobius is left behind soon after it's introduced and the focus turns towards the seafaring business. 

Like most "Underground" episode, this one has a ham-fisted moral. Sonic's fear of water has been referenced since the second episode, so I guess it was inevitable a whole story would be built around it. At first, his fear is so serious that he has elaborate nightmares about it and even gets nervous when crossing a small bridge. Yet, later, the hedgehog has no problem leaping around the ocean or utilizing an improvised jet ski. So which is it, "Sonic Underground?" Is Sonic deathfully afraid of water or can he shake it off? 

When Sonic meets Moby Deep, he turns out to be not-so-bad. The beast isn't the tentacled Kraken-like entity Sonic imagines in his dream. Moby Deep is just a big whale. Contrary to the legend, he's actually afraid of boats. To emphasize this point, Garry Chalk takes a break from voicing Robotnik to give Moby an Eeyore-like voice. Obviously, the idea here is that Sonic's fear isn't so bad once he faces it head-on. But, as I'm sure you've noticed, something about this metaphor doesn't really connect. Sonic's fear of Moby Deep was just an extension of his hydrophobia, which he never really addresses. At the end, there's even a line suggesting Sonic only might've overcome his phobia. (Presumably in case future writers wanted to abuse that character trait more.) The moral is horribly half-assed, is my point. 

There I go actually examining the show on a thematic level. How silly of me to assume the story would be good or the cast would be treated with respect. Let's talk about more pragmatic matters, like how ugly the character designs are. Everyone in "Sonic Underground" looks gross or weird. The residents of Port Mobius are more of the hideous alien slug creatures that make up this show's background characters. Dingo has his body morphed into several mundane objects – a sheet, a door, a buoy – in typically uncomfortable fashion. Yet Captain Squeegee really is next level, as far as unappealing visuals go. He's a literal sponge, his body covered with holes and jutting out at awkward angles. His eyes float on little stalks, at the side of his face. He absorbs water, his body expanding, which has to be one of the grosser superpowers I’ve seen recently. Even that name, Captain Squeegee, lingers on the tongue in the most unpleasant way. He might be the ugliest character on a show full of hideous designs. 

There was about three minutes left in this episode before I realized “Oh wait, there hasn’t been a song yet.” I naively hoped we might actually get through a full half-hour without an embarrassing musical number. No such luck. Befitting the setting, the "Sonic Underground" song writers tried their hands at a sea shanty. "Face Your Fears" is, predictably, dreadful. But not for the reasons you expect. I'm sure the lyrics are terrible but I couldn't hear them over the atrocious production. The jangly, obnoxious music drowns everything out. The attempt to approximate a sea shanty is an annoyingly ramshackle melody. It's bad though I'm not sure it's as bad as some of the other songs, simply because it's so poorly mixed it doesn't even register as music. 

I'll give "The Deepest Fear" this much: It's bad in a way that's kind of funny. When a shot of Sonic racing up a lighthouse's spiral staircase is simply reversed, to show him running back down it, I laughed. Captain Squeegee's whole existence or shit like the Ahab-inspired opening nightmare are so bizarre as to become entertaining. That's more than most episodes of this show have thus far accomplished. Unintentional entertainment value is better than no entertainment value at all. [5/10]