KNUCKLES: Introduction

Back in February, cyberpunkian mega-corp ViacomCBS put out a Superbowl commercial for Paramount+, their streaming service that they would very much like you to subscribe to. Please, they spent a lot of money on it. The bizarre ad featured multiple high-profile characters and performers from the suite of Paramount properties interacting with each other. And there, alongside Master Chief, Hey Arnold, some presumably famous football players, Peppa Pig, and Patrick Stewart in his Wacky Old Man persona, was Knuckles the Echidna. This was a surreal experience for me. Not just because the commercial was deliberately weird, contrasting acts of violence against a cartoon character alongside a male tramp stamp and Creed, for some reason. Mostly, I found the presence of Knuckles in a spot designed for the Super Bowl – the last culturally ubiquitous television event we have in America – mind-blowing. You're telling me a "Sonic the Hedgehog" character, not even Sonic himself but one of the other ones, got to hang out with Drew Barrymore and be seen by 123.7 million people? The guy whose big solo game launched on the 32X? Julie-Su's boyfriend? That Knuckles the Echidna?! If you had gone back to the nineties and told ten-year-old me that Red Sonic would occupy a place of cultural prominence that high at any point in the future, I flat-out wouldn't have believed you.

And yet... After being the thing I was obsessed with as a child that no other kid cared about, after years of being nothing but a punchline among hacky internet funnymen, the "Sonic the Hedgehog" franchise has become widely accepted as a pop culture icon. It's something that even your grandparents that fall asleep watching "NCIS" may be at least vaguely aware of. Much to my amazement, after it seemed like they were ready to throw the first movie away, Paramount is actually aware of how versatile a franchise "Sonic" is, how insanely dedicated its fans are. They see potential in "Sonic" to become their next huge franchise. (This surely has nothing to do with the studio not really having any other sure shot hits right now.)

And, in this day and age, that means a streaming spin-off show. It was true for Marvel, for DC, for Lord of the Rings, for Godzilla. (Another lifelong obsession I can't believe is as big as it is now.) Now it's true for "Sonic." About the only thing the current "Sonic" Cinematic Universe and Archie Comics in the nineties have in common is understanding that Knuckles is the most sensible of Sonic's friends to build a spin-off around. Thus, Paramount dropped a shit ton of money on special effects, signed Idris Elba to a million year contract, and blanketed television and pro-wrestling rings with ads. For "Knuckles." Am I reading this right? Is this real life? 

As delightfully surreal as this entire experience has been, my expectations came crashing down to reality the minute the first trailer for "Knuckles" was revealed. Ah, yes, there's that old familiar feeling of being disappointed by "Sonic" media. Hello dorkness, my old friend, etc etc. I guess I was expecting too much, forgetting once again that the "Sonic" MovieVerse is for children and normies, not hardcore weirdos like me. It seemed reasonable to expect that a show about the third or fourth most popular "Sonic" character would draw from the franchise's deeper lore. Obviously, all the stuff from the old comics, and even the new ones I'm assuming, are off-limits. (Surprisingly absolutely no one, Ken Penders is seething.) It's not like I expected fuckin' Bimmy to show up or anything. Yet pulling from the actual games Knuckles has starred in, in order to build up enough story for a six hour show, struck me as a given. What I'm saying is, expecting an appearance from Rouge the Bat or the Chaotix or Angel Island, at least some allusion to them, didn't seem improbable. 

Instead, the trailer made it clear that Paramount+'s "Knuckles" was going to be an extremely broad comedy about Knuckles having a wacky adventure with Wade. Ya know, Wade. You guys remember Wade, right? The absent-minded deputy from Green Hills? The one who distracted from the parts of "Sonic the Hedgehog 2" you actually care about to perform some mediocre pratfalls? Established "Sonic the Hedgehog" cast member Wade Whipple, beloved by all. And the villains are... Some people. Maybe a biker guy with Robotnik tech? And some bantering secret agent types? Look, Kid Cudi is here. 

I guess I'm still stuck in the unfortunate mindset that the "Sonic" movie series is eventually going to become more like the games and cartoons and shit that we actually like. Instead of being it's own weird hybrid of schtick-y PG comedy and CGI action set pieces. It's not like "Sonic" tie-in media not really resembling any other part of the franchise is anything new. It's actually the norm. However, I couldn't help but continue to be frustrated that this universe Paramount is building around characters I care way too much about is determined to be so different from established "Sonic" stories. To the point that it might as well be "Sonic" or "Knuckles" in-name-only. But computer-generated cartoon animals are expensive. I don't know what Adam Pally works for but I'm betting he's just happy to have a starring gig, especially off the back of a small part in a movie everyone kind of expected to bomb. That's how you get a "Knuckles" streaming series that actually stars some fuckin' dude. Instead, we faithful "Sonic" old-timers have to be satisfied with small shout-outs to the more obscure corners of the franchise. It's as if a Viacom exec is saying to me "Listen, you goddamn nerds, we gave Knuckles his hat. Doesn't that make you happy? Isn't that enough? Are you not entertained? Look at all these "Star Trek" shows we have!" 

Listen, I know. I take my blue rats that run fast and red aardvarks that punch things entirely too seriously. I've already had people on Discord yell at me for the unforgivable crime of wanting things to be good. The truth is, I probably would've hated a "Knuckles" streaming show no matter what. Not because I'm a pedantic, unpleasable man-child who spends his free time nitpicking a series targeted at people half my age. Not just because of that anyway... 

Nah, I simply fucking hate how most serialized television, especially those made for streaming, are written and paced. So many programs seemed designed to delay satisfaction for as long as humanly possible, in order to keep your eyes glued to the app of your choice all day long. Show runners want to be novelists or movie directors, so an entire season of television must tell one, long continuous story. But most stories don't actually need to be six or ten hours long. This means programs have to fill time with a deluge of subplots nobody gives a shit about, on the way to something genuinely interesting happening in the final minutes of the last episode. I hate to refer to a Twitter meme but, truthfully, the "Surf Dracula" tweet says it all. 

I haaaate this. I don't know who exactly to blame but I feel compelled to call out J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindeloff. I'm a movie guy, by nature. Tell me a self-contained story in one installment. Don't yank my dick around, Netflix. You're not David Lynch. In the amount of time it takes me to watch a convoluted season of a streaming show that just exists to set up the next convoluted season, I could watch three or four obscure 70s Italian horror movies. I'm old, okay? I could be dead tomorrow. I have to use my time carefully. 

Uh, anyway... What was I talking about? Oh yeah, this "Knuckles" thing. The point of this rambling introduction is that I'm probably going to hate this show. People like to say I'm a contrarian who hates everything. I actually like most of the media I consume and make a concerted effort to always find the best in something. But I'm going into "Knuckles" pretty much expecting to dislike it. 

I'm still going into it though. Because complaining about "Sonic the Hedgehog" adjacent programming is what I've chosen to do with my life. And considering how baffled I was, just a few weeks ago, that a "Knuckles" TV show even exists in the first place, maybe I should be happy with what I get. Maybe all us "Sonic" fans should be satisfied simply with the sheer fact that multi-billion dollar conglomerates have deemed our stupid video game thingy worthy of investment. I'm watching it, writing about it, playing right into the hands of the people who created it. Maybe I deserve to be disappointed. But it won't stop me from bitching about it. I'm a "Sonic" fan, stuck in a world spiraling through the death throes of late stage capitalism. Grousing about it all for an increasingly smaller audience is how I cope. I have a mouth and I must scream. 

Anyway... Hey there, Hedgehogs Can't Swim readers. I'm back. Sorry I died for a while. Please enjoy my reviews of the "Knuckles" streaming show. I apologize for any and all insufferable comments in advance. 

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.07: From the Top

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.07: From the Top

Original Release Date: January 11th, 2024

For those reading this in the future, it's been almost three months since my review of the previous episode of "Sonic Prime" and this one right here. I would like to say that I'm a professional and reviewed the whole season in one go, staggering out the publication of the individual reviews to insure regular content for this blog. But... Nah. I was watching an episode a day and writing up my thoughts afterwards. Work and life got crazy, forcing a hiatus in my "Sonic Prime" coverage. But the sadder truth is that this last batch of episodes have been so underwhelming to me that I didn't have a lot of motivation to finish the season. However, the gnawing feeling that I left a project incomplete was unavoidable. So here I am, motherfucker, wrapping up "Sonic Prime" several months after everyone else did. Better late than never, right? Sure. 

Last we left off "Prime," Sonic and Nine were plummeting towards a kaleidoscope of colors and light. I assumed this to mean they'd wake up in some wacky, in-between dimension but... Nope, they just landed in the center of Nine's lair, the Paradox Prism glistening above them. After spying some palm trees, Sonic tries talking things out with the fox mad scientist. This – along with the Grim cracking up around them and Sonic's allies closing in – causes Nine to have a change of heart. The focus shifts towards restoring the multiverse. Sonic realizes that giving up the last bit of Prism energy within him might be the solution. Yet this could end up costing the hedgehog his life. Even after making this sacrifice and seemingly putting the different dimensions back in place, Sonic's struggles aren't over. 

Is there any moral in children's television more prevalent than "the power of friendship?" It's the easiest kind of platitude to deliver. On one level, this is because it's true. We all get by with a little help from friends. On another, altogether more cynical level, this is also a message that's easy to deliver because it requires little change or growth on the characters' behalf. The hero doesn't have to fix himself, he can lean on his pals, and the writers don't have to actually add any depth to their script. "Prime" has hinted throughout that this is a story, largely, about the unbreakable bonds between Sonic and his bros. This finale focuses on that more, with Sonic and Nine talking out their differences and realizing more connects them than separates them. Everyone rallies together to help one another and for the greater good. In the final moments, Sonic reaffirms that it's his love of his buddies that drove him all along. 

In the right hands, this would be a perfectly satisfying ending. However, "Prime's" fundamental lack of depth makes this is an unavoidably disappointing note to conclude on. First and foremost, Nine's redemption feels deeply unearned and like a sloppy, last minute change. For most of this season, the cyborg fox has been an unhinged villain totally unwavering in his fanatical pursuit of his reality rewriting goal. All it takes to undo that is Sonic talking to him a little bit, even though Nine seemed to have gone totally mad with power by this point? I don't buy it. Nine's personality has changed so much over the course of this season as to render him essentially shapeless as a character. He seems like a totally different person at the start this episode than he does at the end. The script simply doesn't have the depth to make this kind of sweeping change compelling. 

Moreover, the way this change happens is far from convincing. Sonic sees that the fox has maintained the palm trees and the hammock hanging between them from Green Hill Zone in his inner sanctum. This, I guess, reminds Sonic that Nine is still his little buddy Tails deep down and that they both just want to return to a safe home. The hedgehog then deploys some not-that-compelling, Therapy 101 psychobabble to connect with Nine's better side. After building him up all season as the ultimate threat of the entire series, "Sonic Prime" has Nine defeated with a friendly conversation. Tactics like this can be meaningful to a conversation. The climax of season 6 of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" – otherwise maybe the lamest season of the entire series – has one cast member talking a former friend out of ending the world just by being relatable, kind, and loving. We don't have that kind of connection to Nine. If you interpret him as just another version of the Tails we all know and love, from every other corner of the "Sonic" franchise, then maybe that would be the case... But Nine has operated as his own character, far angstier and more dangerous than any previous version of Tails, throughout all of "Prime." 

When I started reviewing this show, I complained that it used a built-in familiarity with the "Sonic" cast as a shortcut to get us to care about these multiversal variations on them. It turns out the show's creative team used this technique throughout the entire run. Even though Dread and Rusty and all the others have not really resembled the Knuckleses and Amies we already know, the show has always treated them as if that was the case. Every iteration of "Sonic" has existed as its own thing, for the most part. There may be characteristics familiar to all of them but Archie Sonic is different from IDW Sonic in the same way "Boom" Sonic is different from the Sonic in the Paramount movies. You can't just say "Oh, "Prime" Sonic is the same character as the Sonic from all the current video games, so you should care about him the same amount!" Because that's simply not true. This has been a problem throughout all of "Prime." Yet it's especially true about this final episode, which based its entire emotional climax on our pre-existing attachment to Sonic and Tails' relationship. But Nine isn't Tails. His actions have proved that over and over again. Which makes the scene this entire episode – and maybe the whole series – hinges on feel totally false. 

With this roadblock in mind, "From the Top" was probably never going to be a satisfying conclusion. However, as with all of "Prime," there's ideas here that could've made this work. As it seems the ShatterVerse is collapsing, Mangey Tails nuzzles Gnarly Knuckles. Thorn Rose and Black Rose embrace Rusty, resigned to their fate and simply happy that they found each other before this end. Potentially powerful stuff that loses all its emotional punch because everything works out in the end. You could say the same of Sonic willingly giving up the last bit of Prism energy and risking his own life. If "Prime's" arc for Sonic has been based on his guilt for causing this multiversal fuck-up in the first place, then the hedgehog sacrificing himself is him fully accepting responsibility for his mistakes. He's putting his own life on the line to make it all right. However, it doesn't actually feel this way, because Sonic has been treated as a wholly virtuous woobie who didn't really do anything wrong throughout the whole show. We also know that Sonic isn't really going to die because... Come on, of course he isn't. Thus, the emotional climax of the finale doesn't have nearly the kind of bite it was obviously meant to. 

This scene also occurs about half-way through the episode. Sonic giving up his last bit of energy allows Nine to restore the Paradox Prism. In turn, this puts the multiverse – including Green Hill – back together. (I got the impression that the other worlds existed as a result of the Prism being shattered but I guess they've just always been there.) The goal Sonic has been seeking to achieve the entire series has been reached. The central conflict of the show is over. There's still about fifteen minutes left to go, so the writers have to think up a whole new batch of obstacles to keep the story going a little longer. If Sonic doesn't return to Green Hill, he'll fade out of existence. Oh no, Birdie's wing is clipped by some space debris on the way to the portal! Oh no, Black Rose's ship doesn't have quite enough fuel to make it to the entrance! All of this feels so contrived, the episode just piling on one hazard after another in a desperate attempt to pad this episode out a few minutes more. 

This belabored extra last act is all the more frustrating because a more elegant solution is already in the script. After the Prism is restored and Sonic is left weakened, the Chaos Council abruptly call off the truce they've formed with the good guys. They are going to use this vulnerable moment, when the heroes are down and the multiverse is ready to be reformed, to seize the ultimate power they've been after all along. This should've been the proper climax of the series. It re-establishes the Council, not Nine, as "Prime's" ultimate antagonists. It brings their thirst for power and control full circle. Seeing all the heroes forced to rally together, in their darkest and most hopeless moment, to defeat the villains that have been looking them in the face all along would've been a pretty cool ending, don't you think? 

Alas, the Chaos Council remain numb-nuts until the very end. The varied Eggmen immediately begin to bicker amongst themselves, pettily turning on one another when they should be completing their conquest. Once they are distracted fighting each other, Shadow easily kicks them into the ShatterSpace. There's no suspense in whether the heroes can defeat these guys. They are undone by their own incompetence and a single, swift kick from one guy. How did these guys ever take over New Yoke City? They fucking suck! The Chaos Council never becoming genuinely intimidating adversaries has been a problem all throughout "Prime." It's never been more obvious here. Why even include these characters if you weren't going to do anything interesting with them? 

Ultimately, it's all for naught. When Sonic returns to Green Hill, he's back to the moment right before he shattered the Paradox Prism in the first episode. The mechanics of this aren't explained. The dimension hopping in this show has never worked like time travel before. What this inexplicable twist sets up is one of the lamest endings a story can pull: "Sonic Prime" retcons its own events out of existence. None of the last twenty-three episodes have mattered. I guess Sonic has been changed by his experience but he acts mostly the same. His friends are not aware of the adventure he's gone on. We don't know if Nine or Dread or everyone else out there in the ShatterVerse remember anything either. Effectively, it's like nothing has happened. This kind of universal reset ending is usually reserved for comic book storylines that exist solely to remove a loathed change or reveal from continuity. When a creative team does this to their own show, it doesn't really reflect well on their opinion of their own output. In short: This is the kind of bullshit ending that makes the entire series seem like a massive waste of time. 

Maybe the most frustrating thing about all of this is... It didn't have to be this way. The final scenes of "From the Top," when Sonic is welcoming back his old friends and hanging out with them on the beach are... Actually pretty fun! It gives us a peak of what might have been. If "Sonic Prime" was about Sonic and his friends fighting Eggman, if it had focused on simply being a "Sonic the Hedgehog" story, it might've been consistently entertaining! There would have been a chance to develop a core cast of characters, instead of cycling through a new group of variations every other episode. We could've gotten to know this version of Tails, of Rouge. What makes them different or similar to what we've seen before. "Prime" might've had a simple, focused narrative that didn't jump around and change its mind so many times. It could've been, ya know, a good show. 

I suppose criticizing a program for what it isn't does not make for insightful criticism and analysis. Of course, "Prime" is not compelling as a multiverse story either. It didn't have that much fun with the potential limitlessness of this set-up. It didn't really contrast the different versions of the "Sonic" characters with their established personas. It limited itself to three archetypal settings, that more often flattened out the individual quirks of the characters instead of expanding on or exploiting them. The overwhelming focus on action left little room for character development and often made the show feel padded out with endless fight scenes. That was really evident in this last set of episodes, whose events felt like they could've taken up one or two half-hours, instead of seven. 

Why was it like this? I can only guess. Maybe the show runners felt doing a classic "Sonic" set-up wouldn't have been exciting or new. (Never mind that we've never had a full length "Sonic" cartoon actually devoted to replicating the feel of the games.) One can't help but assume that producers were eager to capitalize on the popularity of multiverse stories like "Into the Spider-Verse." Which now feel kind of played out and overdone here in 2024. Thinking yet more cynically: This set-up allowed for multiple versions of established, beloved characters to make merchandise of. That feels like an unavoidable factor to consider. Maybe that's not the case. Yet "Prime" being the way it is because of trend chasing and an eagerness to sell toys seems to neatly explain so many of its flaws. 

Ya know, I try and take a macro view, to find the good in every "Sonic" cartoon. "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" isn't a particularly good series but at least it had a few demented highlights. It did its own twisted thing with Sonic and the gang. "Sonic Underground" was just about unsalvageable but it did bring American fans an animated Knuckles for the first time. The best "Sonic" shows – "SatAM," "Sonic X," "Boom" – ran long enough to thoroughly develop unique takes on these characters, to tell interesting stories of their own. "Sonic Prime" will probably introduce new fans to the franchise, potentially prompting them to explore the better corners of this series. Maybe some day, people will look back on Nine and Thorn with the same fondness that old guys like me regard Sally or Sticks with. Perhaps. 

Ultimately, at this moment, I can't help but regard "Sonic Prime" as a disappointment. I did not find it satisfying as a continuation of "Sonic the Hedgehog" as we know it or as its own take. It wasn't without some moments. I liked Rusty. A handful of interesting scenes come to mind. Yet it did not prove to be a compelling whole. I'll rate "From the Top" a [5/10], for continually fumbling potentially exciting scenarios and ending on a deeply annoying note. "Sonic Prime," in general, I'd probably only give a [6/10] for many of the same flaws. "From the Top" ends with a vague cliffhanger that a fourth/second season could potentially pick up on. This seems unlikely, considering the way Netflix usually throws away its animated programs after their first runs. Given another round of episodes, "Prime" might become better. Which is what I've been saying all along. But I think the chance for that has truly passed however. 

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.06: The Devil is in the Tails

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.06: The Devil is in the Tails

Original Release Date: January 11th, 2024

As "Sonic Prime" heads into its final act, the story remains more-or-less in the same place. Sonic's friends and enemies-turned-temporary-allies continue to fight off Nine's army of Grim robots. The ShatterVerse continues to teeter on the edge of total annihilation. Nine remains single-minded in his goal of capturing Sonic and draining the last bit of Paradox Prism energy from him, even as his own resilience and supply of magical power begins to run out. Sonic continues to hold out hope he can reason with Nine. The episode ends in basically the same spot it begins, with Sonic and Nine dueling for the fate of the multi-verse. 

Nine's character arc had a lot of potential. The idea of an alternate universe version of Tails that isn't Sonic's friend but his enemy is loaded with possibilities. Nine progressing from teaming up with the hedgehog to standing against him, due to irreconcilable goals, could've been – and rarely was – compelling. Sadly, "Prime" has reduced Nine more and more to a shallow bad guy. All he cares about is protecting the Grim and making it his perfect world. His character development has essentially stagnated all throughout season three of "Prime." And as the show speed towards its end point, it's becoming increasingly clear that the writers really don't have anything else planned for Nine. A potentially promising character has been reduced to an ultimately quite boring adversary. 

This speaks to a flaw that's become abundantly apparent as the last third of "Prime" has gone on. There's really not much story left at this point, is there? The War of the Grim and the final battle for the ShatterVerse has gone on for the last three episodes. In that time, we've seen the good guys fall and get back up again, as they fight off and wreck endless waves of Grin robots. And this episode just keeps doing that! You know a show has gone astray when the villain's forces regroup and march forward again and your response isn't "Oh no!" But "Oh for fuck's sake, not this again!" "The Devil is in the Tails" tries to add some novelty to its increasingly repetitive action scenes. Sonic discovers he has a unique ability in the Grim, his shoes able to generate little platforms that can act as shields as well. Commander Knocks and Shadow both get big damn hero moments, leaping from the sky to provide powerful blows against the enemy. Yet it's all really just the same thing happening again and again, with minor variations. 

In fact, this entire episode is very repetitive. Nine says the word "energy" so often that I could mistake him for a new age pseudo-scientist on "Ancient Aliens." The fox absorbs more power from the Prism and blasts it into his robot minions, until the forces are exhausted and he has to do it again. Sonic tries to reach out to his former friend to no avail, before finally realizing he's beyond hope. The dome around Nine's Citadel shrinks but never seems to close in. Once again, I'll draw a comparison to a video game. This feels like playing the last level of a game, getting close to completing it, only to get killed and start back over at the checkpoint. And anybody who has done that knows this is usually the point where a video game goes from being fun to being monotonous and frustrating. You keep playing more because you just want to get this over with, not because you're enjoying the experience anymore. Not a great feeling for a TV show to invoke! 

In-between these repetitive sequences, the show attempts to wrap up character arcs. In the middle of the fight, Jack SepticEye's O.C. points out to Dread that they can swoop in and grab the Paradox Prism while everyone is fighting. Since his obsession with that rock is Dread's only real personality trait, he goes along with it. That's until he sees Black Rose struggling on the battle field and decides to help her instead. It seems Dread has learned the value of friendship, instead of being driven by his greed and lust for power alone. He even gives Rose his hat. In a show that actually spent some time showing Dread growing closer to his crew while fighting beside them, this would've been a powerful and earned moment. In "Prime," it just feels like the show deciding Dread should learn this lesson and going ahead with it, without really setting up any growth or change for him. You know, it's like the writers realized they couldn't devoted these last two episodes just with fight scenes, so they decided to throw this in to fill time. The conclusion to a character's arc feeling more like something the show throws in to pad out the run time, and less like an organic pay-off to everything we've seen with this guy up to now, is not a good thing. 

This episode does something similar with Rusty Rose, to slightly better results. She has a stand-off with the Grim robot version of Amy Rose, revealing before the struggle that she has a pink Flicky inside her like all of Eggman's other badniks. Rusty fighting off her fully robotic copy represents her self-actualizing as a fully independent being, not a machine that only takes orders. (Like the entity she fights off.) Unlike Dread, Rusty actually has shown gradual growth over the series. She's clearly a character that "Prime's" team was more invested in and that showed. Having her fight off a Grim Amy feels sort of random. The Grim Amy Roses are just drones, with no purpose or personality of their own. If Rusty had some sort of on-going rivalry with Grim Amy Alpha, this fight would've had more meaning. It does feel like the show randomly deciding to give this fight more importance than all the other times Rusty trashed a robotic copy of herself. But, because we care more about her, this moment is still the highlight of the episode.

It's clear that "Prime" is trying to generate moments that will make fans cheer here. Knocks punching Nine or Shadow decimating Grim Sonic Alpha are treated like pay-offs we've been waiting ages for, even though these characters barely have any sort of pre-existing animosity. Another such moment doesn't lack oomph but instead backfires fully. When the enormous Big the Cat tank-hover thing gets back up, it's eventually reveal that the machine is being piloted by... Drum roll, please! ...Mangey and Sails. Yes, the two other versions of Tails survived and have been bidding their time the last two episodes. I'm not shocked that this kids' show undid the apparent death of two characters. I've been waiting for that reveal, honestly. It still feels like "Prime" lacking any scruples, the same way pretty much any death cheat does. Considering I wasn't all that attached to those two, their death meant little to me and their survival means much the same. I'm sure there are Tails superfans out there who love these two, just because they are Tails. That were upset by their apparent demise and cheered at their survival. I guess that's "Prime's" target audience. 

With one more episode to go, this show continues to underwhelm me. This last set of "Prime" episodes have especially been a bummer, because it's clear now that things aren't going to get any better. There's simply no time for any potential the earlier episodes set up to be paid off now. Even worse, the last few installments have felt like a brief amount of narrative being stretched out to fill more episodes. Only that scene with Rusty keeps me from rating "The Devil is in the Tails" even lower and even that sequence could've been a lot better. [5/10]

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.05: Home Sick Home

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.05: Home Sick Home

Original Release Date: January 11th, 2024

As "Home Sick Home" begins, Sonic's ears are ringing from taken a direct hit from Nine's latest doom machine. The heroes and the Chaos Council do everything they can to turn the tide of the battle. Yet the enormous Grim version of Big, and his endless supply of Froggy-shaped bombs, makes it a desperate battle. Only Shadow emerging from his hole in the ground begins to change things in the good guy's favor. Nine still refuses to give up, forcing Sonic to take the fight directly to the megalomaniac fox. 

"Sonic Prime's" team of animators have, during this episode and the last few, really made an effort to emphasize that Nine is growing deranged the more desperate he becomes. Zapping more beams of light into his robot henchman and the dome around his Citadel is physically exhausting the little guy. Instead of making him reconsider what he's doing, this change in his physical state seems to be making him more unhinged. We see this in the way the animators depict him with sloping posture, twisted limbs, and bugged out eyes. All the key indicators, in the visual shorthand of cartooning, that your character is a sick and twisted little dude. It's a nice touch but it continues to make me ask questions. Namely, how did we get here? Nine's leap from antisocial, angsty kid with ultimately good intentions to straight-up supervillain still seems abrupt to me. But "Prime" is seemingly committed to this idea now and it's increasingly feeling too late to turn back. 

Once again, I feel the need to point out that "Prime's" focus on elaborate action scenes leaves little room for character development. This is very evident in "Home Sick Home," which is largely devoted to the fight scenes. It's an episode full of dramatic violence and big explosions. The enormous Big mech pelts the battle field with bombs, before getting blown up later in the episode. Both the Kraken and the Chaos Council's mothership crash to the earth in melodramatic, flaming fashion. The second half of the episode is peppered with slow-motion punches to the face, an attempt to make the audience understand how hard these blows are hitting. 

It all blurs together for me quickly and it's not difficult to figure out why. One of the many moments in this episode occurs when the Scavengers are carrying out there plan to get into Nine's Citadel. This is dashed when the fox spots them and has pillars of crystals rapidly emerge out of the ground, launching Prim, Gnarly, and Hangry Cat up into the air. The intended reaction to such an action beat should be "Oh no! The heroes' plan has been foiled! What shall they do now?" "Prime" has already shown itself seemingly willing to kill off characters, since Sails and Mangey still seem to be most sincerely dead at this moment. 

When the Chaos Council's ship gets shut down seems to suggest similarly fatal circumstances. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if more of these guys go out on the battlefield. I wouldn't be surprised and I wouldn't be upset either. Because who are Gnarly Knuckles and Hangry Cat, other than goofy variation on regular "Sonic" cast members? We are knee-deep into "Prime" at this point and I still don't really give a shit about most of these guys. This drains most everything that is happening at this point of any dramatic weight. As much importance is paid to the Scavengers being in peril as is to Squad Commander Red or Jack SepticEye's O.C., characters that barely have names and even less personality than the rest of the heroes. 

Of all the "Prime" cast members I don't care about, there's definitely some I don't care about more than others. Can I reiterate, once again, how much the Chaos Council fucking sucks? At this point, these guys' sole function in the story is to provide more chances to slice up evil robots and drop increasingly dire jokes in the middle of a dire battle. Dr. Deep makes a crack about how cats are evil. Mr. Dr. Eggman's toupee flips through the air. Multiple egg puns are delivered. When the mother ship goes kablooey, each member of the Council falls to their knees and bemoans the destruction of some trivial possession of theirs. It's so goddamn annoying, that the serious mood you'd expect from an event like the final battle for the fate of the multiverse is constantly undermined by dumb jokes. But mostly, these jokes are really bad, being delivered by characters that were one-note jokes to begin with and have only gotten more broad and obnoxious as this series goes on. 

The most depressing thing about this episode is it signals how unlikely "Prime" turning things around at this point is. We are on episode five of seven. (Or 21 of 23, depending on how you look at it.) This episode and the previous one have been entirely devoted to the war of The Grim. This one ends on Sonic and Nine dramatically rushing towards each other, suggesting that the next episode will also be focused on this on-going fight. In other words: This is it, guys. This is the climax of the entire series. And it's underwhelming, to say the least. 

Not the least of which because this is one extended action scene being stretched out for multiple episodes. To draw a comparison to Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings" movies again... I'm reminded of the last movie in the bloated "Hobbit" trilogy. It was entitled "The Battle of the Five Armies" and almost all of its laborious runtime is devoted to that titular conflict. The long war scenes in the original "Lord of the Rings" trilogy make more of an impact because they are spaced out with other important plot points and character moments. "The Battle of the Five Armies" is an endless slog because it's made up almost entirely of moments that might've been cool on paper but feel tiresome when stacked one atop the other like that. Holding a straight-to-Netflix children's cartoon up to one of the grandest achievements in blockbuster cinema isn't going to do "Prime" any favors. (I don't even like the "Lord of the Rings" movies that much, not being one for wizards 'n' shit, though I do admire the craft that went into them.) But it says a lot about how twisted the priorities of both "Prime" and "The Hobbit" films are, that both seem to spend more time on on-going action scenes without making any of them all that distinctive or memorable. 

With all of this in-mind, it should not be surprising that the moments in "Home Sick Home" that stick out the most to me aren't yet more fight scenes or explosions. Instead, when the episode stops briefly to catch it breath and focus on the gang talking, I'm more intrigued. After the Kraken goes down, Black Rose and Rusty Rose hold each other's hands as they fall through the sky. The two don't die, as Rose Thorn swoops in on Birdie and saves them. Yet that moment where they are facing death and express simple gratitude for the chance to get to know one another means something. So does a scene afterwards, where Thorn and Black Rose tell Rusty that they consider her a sister, much to the cyborg's surprise. You know, a formally ruthless, almost emotionless machine girl learning to appreciate the meaning of life and sisterhood by fighting for the greater good alongside heroic versions of herself, which she eventually forms a familial bond with, something that previously would've seemed impossible... Gee whiz, that's compelling! I wish this cartoon had been about that instead! I guess the writers and show runners decided to focus on the egg puns, instead of the redemptive power of love. 

People yell at me for taking "Sonic" media, all of which is more-or-less designed for babies, too seriously. For expecting too much of a franchise about a fast blue rat that bops cutesy robots on the head. And I definitely do. But even a small, light-hearted bit like Shadow admitting that smashing robotic facsimiles of Sonic was kind of fun adds more life and meaning to this episode than any of the dumb jokes or explosive action beats do. It doesn't take a lot to invest something like this with a little more life, a little more meaning. But maybe that is too much to expect from the churning content mill that Netflix and all its shows are a part of... [5/10]

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.04: Nine's Lives

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.04: Nine's Lives

Original Release Date: January 11th, 2024

"Sonic Prime" is a show seemingly built around ending each episode on a cliffhanger, in order to keep people from moving their finger off Netflix's "Watch Next Episode" button. This has led to an occasionally odd structure though. Such as in "Nine's Lives." The previous episode suggested Sonic's friends might be turning on him, due to his attempt to reach out to Nine. Instead, this episode reveals they are here to rescue Sonic, refusing to accept his plan to sacrifice himself. Their presence enrages Nine. Soon, a massive battle begins between Sonic and the heroes of the ShatterVerse and Nine and his endless army of Grim robots. As the good guys fight to break into Nine's fortress, the battle grows more desperate than ever before. 

I have gave the last episode of "Prime" some faint praise, as it was the most character-focused installment of the show yet. Instead of building on the conversation that Sonic and Nine had last time, where Sonic told Nine that he's still his friend and that they can work it out, we immediately back track. Minutes after the cavalry arrives, Nine is determined to destroy the good guys if they stand in his way of making the Grim into his ideal world. This is so frustrating. "Prime" walked right up to giving its antagonist some complexity, of delving into the idea that there's hope for him and that Sonic could reach it, and walks it right back the next episode. Nine is a bad guy now, a fairly simple one with laser focused on his dastardly goal, and there doesn't seem to be any plan to subvert that. So much for depth...

"No Escape" made the point of emphasizing that Sonic's bonds with his friends is his primary, motivating characteristic. "Nine's Lives" shows that his devotion to the ShatterVerse gang convinced them to stand up for him too. Yet I guess that moral can only go so far. There's some brief – very brief – conflict on the battlefield here, where the various factions and the Chaos Council can't work together. I guess this is introduced to up the stakes a little, since the heroes don't seem to have much trouble defeating Nine's Grim robots. (A very typical action cartoon rule is in effect here: The villain's minions are more effective the fewer of them there are and tend to become disposable the minute they multiply.) In practice, it makes the script feel like it's stopping for a lesson about how team work makes the dream work. 

Truthfully, "Nine's Lives" feels like a largely shapeless episode, focused on extended battle scenes, until about half way through. That's when Sonic realizes that maybe some strategy is needed. Rebel Rouge is recruited to cook up a game plan. And moments like this is when I realize that, being a writer who understands some of the mechanical aspects of building a narrative, has actually made some movies and TV shows less entertaining for me. Rebel lays out how they are going to distract Nine's forces so a portion of their squad can make it into his citadel. The episode even shows us how this would play out. And if a script takes the time to explain exactly how a plan is going to go down, you can be certain that it won't work out that way. Why would a writer tell us what they were going to do and then just do that? Our expectations are being subverted. If you're a kid or someone who has never seen a heist movie before, this would probably be an exciting development. If you're a jaded old nerd like me, it's setting up a swerve that can be seen coming a mile away. 

Yet even this is not the main complaint I have about "Nine's Lives." Instead, I think the episode features some really weird tonal shifts. There's comic relief here, about Nine defying Sonic by saying he hates chili dogs. (A good joke, honestly.) Or the very final moment of the episode featuring, of all characters, Froggy. These moments coexist alongside probably the darkest moment in "Prime" so far. While fighting off more of Nine's Grim robots, Mangey Tails and Sails Tails fashion a bomb out of the machine's parts. They then activate the bomb... Without making any attempt to escape its blast radius. Yes, Mangey and Sails seemingly blew themselves up. That's, uh, pretty severe! I wouldn't be shocked if this kid show subsequently reveals that it didn't just kill off two of its cutest characters... Yet Sonic and the others react to this event with utmost sincerity. Sonic falls to his knees in shock and blames himself for the apparent death of his friends. 

I have some thoughts about this. First off, if this show was going to kill some one off for dramatic effect, Mangey and Sails were probably the easiest choices to make. We don't really know much about these characters, other than them being a primitive version and a pirate version of Tails. Mangey had one or two funny moments but Sails hasn't done much of anything in his prior appearances. Any chance we would have to get attached to them is entirely based on whatever fondness we already have for Tails, based on his appearances in every other corner of the "Sonic" franchise. Are we losing anything by killing these two? Are we expected to feel anything about them dying, when they aren't much more than vague concepts to us? 

Even if Mangey and Sails actually had some depth, the impact of their death is undermined by what the episode does next. Namely, it just keeps going, like two children didn't just blow themselves up in some sort of suicide attack. Sonic then turns towards making that plan with Rebel to get into Nine's base. It says a lot about how disposable this show considers its cast that it moves on so quickly from two of them being annihilated. I get this is a kids show. We can't really expect Sonic to break down on tears and cradle Mangey's charred remains. And I understand that our heroes are on a battlefield right now, when there's no time to mourn the dead. But, if you're going to throw around big, dramatic moments like this, you actually have to commit to them. You can't have silly jokes a few minutes later. You can't just move on like it's a meaningless event. Because then, uh, it does become meaningless. Get what I'm saying here? "Prime" is not doing a lot to make me care about whether Mangey or Sails are really dead or making me feel the loss, if they are. It's kind of like the writers themselves aren't that concerned about! 

Moving on from that, "Nine's Lives" makes another gross miscalculation. It greatly overestimates the importance of Big the Cat. Okay, I know me being a hater about Big makes me unusual for the "Sonic" fandom at this point. I think most fans have come around to genuinely liking Big by now. However, even if you are a Big fan, you probably don't think of the guy as a big action hero. He's a dimwitted fisherman, who only really wants to hang out with his amphibious buddy and catch fish. Even though the Boscage Maze, New Yoke City, and No Place versions of Big aren't technically the same characters as the Big we know, seeing the tubby cat body slam some evil robots is still weird. Moreover, the episode tries to mine some tension out of Catfish taking a Grim Sonic spin dash to the gut. (And immediately undermines it with another goofy joke.) The most dramatic moments of the episode – which, somehow, is not the two kid sidekicks exploding themselves – is based around the Grim robotic version of Big appearing. Ya know, even when Big showed up in the old Archie comics as a Freedom Fighter, there was this understanding that he was mostly comic relief. His appearance on the battle field is incongruous, to say the least. It seems the "Prime" writers thought Big the Cat was just another member of Sonic's evil-fighting gang. Which I guess he is but it's still an off-putting choice. 

It's clear that "Prime" is heading into its final stretch here. This episode takes great pains to draw attention to how this is a pivotal moment in the battle for the ShatterVerse. The heroes are outnumbered by Nine's seemingly endless supply of robotic minions. There's lots of those elaborate action scenes that "Prime" specializes in, swooping across the area as Sonic and the gang battle more and more of Nine's forces. Clearly, this is supposed to feel epic, the "Lord of the Rings" Helm's Deep sequence of this corner of the "Sonic" franchise. However, I've become increasingly numb to "Prime's" action theatrics. You can only watch the good guys wreck the same set of robotic mooks before you crave something else. 

My frustration with "Prime's" loose approach to its characters and need to always keep its story as action-packed and forward-moving as possible is reaching its peak. After "No Escape" suggested maybe this cartoon could be more, "Nine's Lives" rolls back into the familiar pattern in the bluntest way possible. I hate to say it but "Sonic Prime" is increasingly feeling like the first time with a "Sonic" cartoon where, if I just dropped the show and never went back to it, I don't think I'd feel like I was missing anything. [5/10]

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.03: No Escape

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.03: No Escape

Original Release Date: January 11th, 2024

The previous episode of "Prime" ended on the cliffhanger of the Angel's Voyage sinking into the ocean as No Place collapses. "No Escape" quickly picks this up, with Sonic determined to travel to this dimension and save his friends, even if it puts himself directly in Nine's sights. He's soon joined by most of the rest of the heroes, pulling off a perilous but successful rescue mission. Yet, upon returning to New Yolk City, it becomes clear to Sonic that this won't end until he gives himself up to Nine. Which he does but that brings with it a whole new set of complications...

Over the years, a few characteristics have emerged as the defining details of Sonic's personality. Namely, his fastness, his snark, and his devotion to his friends. That final aspect is really emphasized in this episode. Sonic knows heading into No Place puts him in danger. He knows it's a risky situation for everyone. Yet he simply can't allow his friends to be in danger. Now, one can debate whether the Angel's Voyage crew are really close enough to Sonic to classify as his "friends." Yet this is still a nice moment. Sonic's love for his pals is what makes him a hero and that inspires the people around him to be heroic too. That's sweet. 

When "Prime" was announced, it was mentioned that Sonic would be doing battle with his own guilt as well as supervillains on this show. This seems to be an idea this last batch of episodes really confronts. "No Escape" has Nine outright ask Sonic if he's so determined to put things right because he knows the universe shattering apart is actually his fault. Sonic's response is simply to grimace to himself, an unconscious acknowledgement that Nine is right. This is certainly an interesting theme to introduce – that heroics are motivated as much by guilt over past mistakes as ethics – and, honestly, it's an idea more "Sonic" media could play with. (Looking at you, IDW, with the way Sonic constantly lets the bad guys get away.) Do I think Nine straight up saying this is not the most subtle idea to include this idea? Yeah but at least it's a theme. "Prime" has been seriously lacking in depth up to this point, so I'll take what I can get right now. 

If the push-and-pull between Sonic's devotion to his friends and his guilt over causing a multiverse splintering crisis is where the meat of this episode lies, one has to look at Sonic and Nine's relationship. "No Escape" opens with a "Sonic Advance" inspired, 16-bit flashback to Sonic and Tails walloping Eggman. That seems to foreshadow Sonic throwing himself on Nine's mercy later in the episode. Yet that brings up an issue I've continued to have with this show: Nine isn't Tails. Or, at least, he's not the Tails Sonic remembers. This is something the character has repeatedly stated but Sonic continues to ignore it. The final act here suggests that maybe Sonic is right too. Maybe there's more of Tails Prime in Nine than the angst cyborg is willing to admit. Yet everything the show has presented up to this point, especially Nine's most recent turn towards supervillainy, suggests otherwise. 

So which is it? Is Nine simply an altered version of Tails or a totally new character, with completely different motivations? The implication, I guess, is that Sonic is so important to Tails' life that just the mere absence of him is enough to turn the little fox into a totally different person. And that could be a profound idea, an "It's a Wonderful Life" style revelation that one person has more of an impact on the world than they can ever know. This would be better presented by Nine himself realizing that Sonic being kind to him, just in these few episodes, has changed him in some way. Instead, "No Escape" has Sonic show in the Grim, tell Nine that he's his friend no matter what, and the fox immediately switch sides again. It's rushed and sloppy, going back to the idea that Sonic can't tell this variant apart from his actual buddy than the unique bond these two specific characters have. 

Considering how frustrating I've found "Prime's" writing up to this point, I'm willing to give the show credit for trying at all. Honestly, the show works the best when it draws very little attention to these attributes. There's two, small moments here that really add a lot of depth to this world. When the Angel's Voyage is sinking, Catfish is fearful to jump from the ship's mast into the safety of the flying Kraken. Nobody judges the big cat for being fearful. Everyone just keeps encouraging him to make that jump. This shows how understanding Sonic and the gang are and that Big the Cat, in every universe, is no typical action hero. Another moment has someone waving at Rusty Rose in appreciation. The cyborg, previously shown to be coldly emotionless, then cracks a tiny grin and slowly waves back. That's a good, subtle moment that shows Rusty has a softer side that is slowly coming to the surface, the more time she spends around these folks. "Prime" needs more of that kind of subtly. 

I still have issues with this episode. "No Escape" repeatedly features the good guys being in some perilous situation, only for someone to rush in from off-screen and save them. It happens at least three different times, by my estimation. Thorn and Birdie swoop in to save Sonic from a Grim Birdie. The same evil robot is blasted away while good guys dangle off a ledge. The Chaos Council show up to give the Kraken a lift as it starts to fall. This is the kind of dramatic writing you can pull off once, maybe twice, an episode. To have the show repeatedly return to it so many times in one half-hour makes it seem like the writers only have one trick up their sleeve. 

Despite that flaw, I would say this is maybe the best episode of "Prime" yet. There's some cool action beats, of Sonic skipping across the water or Baton Rouge swooping around a ship. That opening, video game style flashback is really cool. The episode ends on a very unpromising cliffhanger that seems to be setting up another one of those dramatic alliance shifts that this show keeps doing and I keep hating. That makes me doubtful that "Prime" is going to nail the landing as it goes into its final stretch. But we will see. At least "No Escape," taken on its own, is a solid installment. [7/10]

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.02: Dome Sweet Dome

Sonic Prime, Episode 3.02: Dome Sweet Dome

Original Release Date: January 11th, 2024

"Dome Sweet Dome" begins with Shadow launching Sonic into the void between realms, Nine's giant robotic birds quickly taking chase. The hedgehog soon ducks into the New Yolk City portal. There, he finds that every realm in the ShatterVerse is breaking apart... And that Nine's nearly complete Paradox Prism has given him God-like powers. Luckily, two unexpected parties appear to help Sonic. The alternate versions of his friends from across the ShatterVerse show up, each coming through the doorways the Chaos Council have opened. Secondly, the Council itself decides to help the heroes, realizing they can't conquer a multiverse that doesn't exist. A plan is quickly formulated to protect the worlds and drain the last remnant of Prism energy from Sonic, which has unforeseen consequences for the hedgehog. 

I suspect a redemption arc will come eventually but, at this moment, "Prime" is playing Nine as a full-on supervillain. Power corrupts but it seems to have corrupted the angsty fox very quickly. "Dome Sweet Dome" sees the alternate Tails appear as a floating, holographic head over the city that appears primarily to gloat at and taunt Sonic. Once he starts showing off his ability to change the nature of reality itself, it seems to me that None is ready to graduate to Evil God status. Once again, I feel the need to point out that, in-universe, all of these changes occurred over the course of a few hours. I guess Sonic didn't know Nine nearly as well as he thought – and still seems to be confusing him with the Prime version of Tails – but all of these changes still strike me as happening very suddenly. 

If nothing else, the show continues to sharply depict the difference in philosophies between Sonic and Nine. Nine's isolationist beliefs have him tearing the universe apart to create a perfect world. Sonic, meanwhile, has friends come to his aide when all hope seems lost. That Sonic's pals are all from different realities shows how far they are willing to go to help him out. This moment would mean a lot more if the alternate versions of the team, and their relationship with Sonic, were more fleshed-out... But it's the closest this episode of "Prime" comes to actually having a moment of meaning. 

This structure of a greater threat to everyone emerging does present what is always a solid narrative hook: The good guys and the bad guys putting aside their differences and forming a temporary truce. The Chaos Council appearing to back Sonic up is another solid moment, if only because it's fairly unexpected. From everything we know about the greedy and single-minded Eggmen, we certainly don't expect them to ever help out the hedgehog. Whether "Prime" will play up on the natural tension that emerges from such a temporary truce – will the Council betray the heroes when an opportunistic moment presents itself? – can't be said right now. Yet it is a good idea to introduce. 

Throwing so many different groups together allows for something else: Some fun bickering between these opposing parties. A repeated highlight of this episode is Renegade Knucks – who continues to give me extremely strong Raphael vibes – threatens to start fights with the Council. Later, Mangy Tails pokes at a computer console and ends up improving some readings somewhere, a cute joke about how all versions of Tails are apparently naturally technological whizzes. If there continues to be lots of interplay between the different parties as "Prime" heads towards its finale, that would certainly be a good thing. 

There's a moment in this episode that, perhaps, crystalizes why this show's approach to it's characters and world has constantly disappointed me. While Sonic is running through New Yolk City, Nine uses his near omnipotence to turn the entire city sideways. Now, Sonic has to run across the sides of the buildings and grab innocent bystanders as they fall from their homes. While watching this, my main thought was "This would be a cool moment in a video game." It would subvert expectations for a level and present new challenges for the player. But the disconnect here should be obvious. Yes, "Sonic Prime" is inspired by video games but it's not a video game. Is this why this show seems to constantly foreground action scenes over anything else? Is that what WildBrains and Man of Action and the rest of the production crew thought "Sonic" fans wanted? I don't know but it definitely presents a problem when you wish you could pick up a controller when watching a TV show. 

"Dome Sweet Dome" ends with a barrage of technobabble, all about energy and domes. Several minutes are devoted to figuring out how to protect the variants of Sonic's friends from the continuing effects of the ShatterVerse breaking up. As well as extracting the last bit of Prism energy from Sonic. And, I don't know about you guys, but I don't give a shit about any of this stuff. The rules guiding "Prime's" comic book-y science already seem to vary with the needs of the story, making me wonder why the writers felt the need to justify them. If you look at all of "Prime" as one big, long movie – which is how most modern, serialized TV shows are written, much to my annoyance – we are currently in the last half of the second act. The heroes' situation is getting to maximum hopelessness, in order to make their eventual triumph all the more meaningful. So that's all this, Sonic collapsing and the rest of the good guys being endangered by some bullshit, is. I can see the machinery and that's never a good thing. 

Still, I guess I would rate "Dome Sweet Dome" – they didn't put any effort into those titles, did they? – slightly higher than the first episode of "Prime's" third season. Mostly because I like Knuckles shit talking the Eggmen. More of that next time, please! [6/10]