Sonic Underground, Episode 1.04: The Price of Freedom

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.04: The Price of Freedom

Original Air Date: September 2nd, 1999 

"The Price of Freedom" begins with Sonia on the run from Sleet and Dingo. Though the bounty hunters are defeated, Sonia's bike is trashed and she's left covered in grime. Fed up, she heads to East Mobius to meet her old friend Mindy, daughter of a rich factory owner named LaTour. LaTour produces watches and Sonia soon discovers that Robotnik is converting them into spy drones. Sonic and Manik – who are, coincidentally in the same area, investigating sightings of the Queen – arrive to reveal the truth. As Robotnik's forces close in, Mindy and LaTour have to make a hard choice.

As with every episode of "Sonic Underground," "The Price of Freedom" begins with a voiceover narration from Queen Alena explaining the theme of the day. As the title indicates, this episode is about the price of freedom... Now, what does that mean? Is this going to be some horrible, right wing polemic about how "freedom isn't free" and we need a military-industrial-complex? Or will it get into the reasons for why taxes are necessary to support our much-needed public systems? No, the answer is much stupider than either of those. See, Mr. LaTour has kowtowed to Robotnik's demands to produce spying devices because he wants to continue to provide his daughter with a lifestyle of wealth and comfort. The episode is about him learning a lesson, that love is all you really need. Mindy willingly picks her dad over the pampered, royal life. So I guess the price of freedom is... Love? But... it's worth it? I don't know, it's muddled and trite and doesn't make a lot of sense. 

And that's not what most annoys me about this episode. It's the staunch refusal to explore any of the interesting ideas introduced here. From the first episode, we've known that Robotnik allowed the rich upper class of society to continue to exist. Mr. LaTour is introduced as a rich dude running a factory... Does Robotnik's roboticized slaves toil on these factories? Or is LaTour just exploiting the working class, like a regular evil person? We don't know because we never see the factories. The idea of a businessman willingly creating watches that double as surveillance devices could've been commentary on how the rich are complacent in the rise of tyranny. (Not to mention an eerie prediction of our modern, smart phone world.) Instead, LaTour is a victim of Robotnik and we're supposed to feel bad for him. The effects of these ideas on wider Mobian society is never considered. No deeper thought was out into the construction of this story. 

"The Price of Freedom" is so awkwardly written that I thought it was setting up an obvious twist that turns out to be nothing at all. Mindy is a mildly terrible character, your typical spoiled rich girl archetype with hilariously outdated Valley Girl lingo. (It must be said, when competed to "Underground's" hideous character designs, she has one of the better ones.) She gives Sonia the watch that is later discovered to be a spider drone. Shortly afterwards, our heroes encounter an agent of Robotnik's named Agent M. I assumed all of this was heavy-handed foreshadowing. That Mindy was Agent M, that she had laid a trap for Sonia and the others, that she was loyal to the lifestyle Robotnik made possible for her. Nope! Mindy is clueless of the watches' true purposes, hates Robotnik as much as anyone else, and Agent M is just a robot. The pattern-recognition system in my brain accidentally cooked up a better story than this show's writers did. 

The naked mediocrity of this episode isn't just present in the writing. I can't really undersell how half-assed the action scenes are in this episode. During the opening chase, there's a solid minute focused on Dingo's face as he presses buttons. Sonia survives by firing a laser from her keyboard-medallion-blaster, which somehow blankets the area in a pink fog, causing Sleet and Dingo to crash into the gorge wall. I guess the medallions can do anything! Later, all three triplets are shown being caught in Agent M's net. A minute later, Sonic is shown to have escaped. He then calls in some watches/spider drones to de-assemble Agent M, which is about the least exciting climax they could've cooked up for this one. The most baffling moment involves Sleet turning Dingo into a rolled-up rug which then unfurls and captures Mindy and LaTour. I think that rightfully earned a baffled "what the fuck" from me.

This is the part of the review were I bitch about the episode's musical number. As a change of pace, Mindy sings this one. It must be said that Mindy's voice actress has a less nasally and irritating than whoever provides Sonic's singing voice. It's a shame the song is garbage. The melody is tuneless and immediately forgettable. The lyrics are utterly inane. About half of the song is the phrase "Monet can't buy the things you really need" repeated over and over. The images accompanying the song are almost unintentionally funny, with the repeated focus on Mindy's crying face. The way the song abruptly begins, while Mindy and her dad are having a serious moment, also made me chuckle slightly. But mostly it's just boring and bad. 

The only scene I liked in this episode was when Sonic and Manic are smashing some of those spider bots together. Because Sonic spin-dashing into robots in something is actually associate with the "Sonic" franchise. Well, there is a really weird dream sequence that is interesting, if nothing else. Sonia dreams about performing on-stage when Robotnik grabs her with stretchy, telescoping arms. She's rescued by her mom's scarf floating through the air, which looks like a hairy tongue at first. But, oh no, the Queen then turns into Robotnik! The whole dream is filtered through that ugly, wavy distorted effect that this show used way too often. But it's kind of weird, so that caught my attention. 

Otherwise, this one just sucks. The characters remain as bland and annoying as ever. Once again, the triplets are defined solely by static characteristics: Sonic's attitude, Sonia's girly-girl schtick, Manic's shop-lifting. The show all but admits at this point that the quest to find Alena is nothing but a plot device. Finding their mom is brought-up exactly twice and it's just an excuse to get Sonic and Manic in the same area as Sonia. I haven't truly liked a single episode of this show so far but "The Prince of Freedom" is definitely the worst one yet. [4/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.03: Mobodoon

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.03: Mobodoon

Original Air Date:  September 1st, 1999

The third produced episode of "Sonic Underground" draws from a seemingly unexpected source. "Mobodoon" is directly inspired by "Brigadoon," the 1947 stage musical famously adapted to film in 1954. "Brigadoon" is about an idyllic village in the Scottish Highlands that is accessible to the outside world only once every one hundred years. Naturally, the main character is a visitor who has to choose between everyone he's ever known and his newly found love. I've always assumed that Brigadoon was a legend from classical Scottish mythology but apparently it was invented by the writers of the musical. A "Sonic" cartoon taking inspiration from a then 53-year-old stage show seems weird but makes more sense when you look at this show, not as a video game adaptation, but as a musical fantasy series. In that light, "Mobodoon" goes from an out-of-left-field reference to something this show's intended audience probably wasn't familiar with to the series paying homage to the genre it belongs to. 

Or maybe the writers were just old guys stealing randomly from old shit. Either way, "Mobodoon" begins with Sonic, Sonia, and Manic searching for the titular location. The utopian village, which appears for one day every four years, is supposedly where they were born. They hope this is where their mother has been hiding. Sleet and Dingo are on their tails. The triplets soon discover Mobodoon is real and treat themselves to its comforts. Manic especially feels at-home in the village and considers staying. That's when Sleet and Dingo lead a military attack into Mobodoon, threatening the peaceful people who live there. 

I want to start by saying that "Mobodoon" is the best episode of "Sonic Underground" I've watched thus far. This statement still comes with a huge stinking caveat. The writing is still badly hampered by exposition and contrived bullshit. The first few minutes are awkwardly devoted to explaining what Mobodoon is and why the triplets are headed there. Later, the episode turns to detailing how Mobodoon can exist, introducing a big Chaos Emerald-like jewel that powers the pocket dimension. The biggest ass-pull in the script is Sonic, Sonia, and Manic draining their medallions with a musical number, forcing them to use their brains to defeat the invaders. If their magic powers have a limit – which they previously did not – maybe our heroes should prioritize defeating evil over singing songs. And, of course, the show continues to tease Queen Alena's appearance in the most obnoxious manner possible. Once again, the triplets just miss meeting up with their mom. 

The characters are still as static as always – cue several embarrassing gags about Sonia getting her hair done or Manic shoplifting – but the episode does manage to find something like an emotional entry point for the audience. When Manic is presented with his and his siblings' royal bassinets, he's moved to tears. Sonic fits in everywhere he goes and Sonia was raised in the lap of luxury. Manic has never felt like he's belonged and the peaceful world of Mobodoon, where everything is free and people are always happy, feels like home to him. You never once believe he's going to abandon his brother and sister and their heroic vow. And he does not, walking away from Mobodoon in the episode's final minutes. Yet at least there's some emotional kernel to this story. Manic's melancholy misfit status is somewhat compelling. Him being forced to choose between his siblings and this hidden paradise could've been developed into a really interesting story. 

I say "could've" because this is only a twenty-one minute long cartoon. The show doesn't have enough time to explore Mobodoon and why it's such a utopia. A deeply unattractive horse-like entity called Miss Whinneyham is the triplet's guide to this world. She mostly spews exposition about how all this works. The episode has to resort to easy shortcuts to show how great Mobodoon. So all the food and services are free and the whole place has a shiny, medieval fantasy kingdom look. Apparently, writer Patrick Hunzinger thinks staying forever at the Renn Fair would be heaven. Me being the cynical fuck I am, any time a story introduces a utopia like this, I immediately wonder what the downside is. Where's the mind control or cannibalism or whatever it is that makes this idyllic place possible? Naturally, "Underground" doesn't go in that direction. We have to accept that Mobodoon is exactly as heavenly as it looks. 

I don't know if the "Underground" creative team was forced to give every episode a message or if that was just the style of children's television the show was made in. Either way, thus far, each episode's song has expressed the cheesy theme or moral of the whole story. Since "Mobodoon" is about Manic trying to find a home – and realizing being with his siblings is his real home – the episode's song also concerns this topic. "I Found My Home" is as cheesy and half-assed as the previous songs. The vocals are especially nasally and irritating. But at least it actually sounds like a real song, with slightly more complex lyrics than previous numbers. The song is also notable for actually featuring guitar, drums, and keyboards. It's still pretty lame but it has a mild New Wave pop/rock sound – the melody resembles "867-5309/Jenny" a little bit – that I don't totally hate. 

The "Sonic Underground" team almost had something with "Mobodoon" but ultimately didn't have the time or skills to really develop it into a truly compelling story. The show is hassled by its status as a quickie kids show. You can also see this in its incompetent, mildly annoying villains. Sleet and Dingo lead a SWATBot invasion into Mobodoon and, since the city is a paradise with no defenses, they quickly overwhelm it. This turns the focus away from the more interesting subplot of Manic's dilemma. It also shows how fucking dumb these two villains are. They manage to screw up what should've been a sure thing. At one point, a trio of their hover-tanks slam right into each other, creating a bottleneck effect that our heroes quickly take advantage of. What a bunch of doofs! I also think it's weird that this show is focusing so much in these two clowns and putting Robotnik in the background. He doesn't even appear in this episode. 

I also continue to be disturbed by Sleet changing Dingo into various mundane objects. What happens to his internal organs when Sleet morphs him into a motorcycle? Does his stomach become a combustion engine? Do his ligaments stretch into chains and gears? Is he a fleshy organic thing in the shape of a motorcycle or is his skin and bones somehow transmogrified into steel and chrome? Am I thinking too much about this? Anyway, "Mobodoon" is still mildly shitty but it's better than the last four episodes. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: 30th Anniversary Special

Sonic the Hedgehog: 30th Anniversary Special

Publication Date: June 23rd, 2021

I've got to say, the people in charge of the "Sonic" franchise have really made the most of Sonic's 30th birthday. In some ways, it seems the 2020 pandemic delaying the release of a new game has been a boon to this series. It's forced Sega and all its cronies to get creative, giving us totally unexpected and amusingly bizarre gifts like Sonic in "Minecraft" or Sonic becoming a VTuber. Along with that awesome symphony concert, probably my most anticipated Sonic birthday gift is IDW's 30th anniversary one-shot. Running at over 80 pages long, the special is a double-stuffed serving of Classic Sonic goodness. 

The centerpiece of the special is "Seasons of Chaos," a sixty page romp. Sonic, Tails, and Amy are out chilling in the Spring Valley Zone when they come across a Chaos Emerald. It's quickly snatched by Metal Sonic, Sonic and Tails taking chase. They are soon joined by Knuckles, who details an encounter with Metal Knuckles on Angel Island. Amy, left behind but in possession of Tails emerald tracker, teams up with Mighty and Ray to help gather the stones. The trio soon encounter Nack Fang, Bean, and Bark who are also collecting the Emeralds. While everyone assumes Eggman is behind this chaos, the scientist has actually been betrayed by... Heavy King, who seeks to collect the Chaos Emeralds for his own purposes!

Among Sega's many frustrating decisions over the last few years was the sudden hard divide between "Classic" and "Modern" Sonic. For years, it was assumed that only time separated the earlier and more recent games. This is what "Sonic Generations" seemingly set up and allowed the Archie comic to utilize any Sega character it wanted. With the release of "Sonic Forces," Sega bafflingly decided Modern and Classic Sonic actually exist in alternate universes. This makes no sense but that hasn't stopped the company from enforcing it as a hard rule. A lot of fan favorite "Sonic" characters have now been relegated strictly to the Classic domain, forbidding them from appearing in "Modern" Sonic media like this comic book or the newer games. 

We'll just have to live with this dumb-ass rule until Sega randomly changed its mind again at some point in the future. Until that time, this special has been Flynn's first chance to utilize Mighty, Ray, and the Hooligans in years. And he clearly relishes it. Mighty's characterization as someone who is unendingly kind to his friends but has absolutely no patience for anyone else's bullshit is great. Bark and Bean are written exactly the same as their Archie counterparts, with Bean being bomb-obsessed wacky comic relief and the strong and silent Bark secretly having a soft side.

Fang – I'm just going to keep calling him Nack, sorry SoJ I've been using that name for twenty-five years – is goofier than his Archie counterpart but I like the detail of him refusing to learn anyone's actual name. That's a good way to show his callousness. Ray doesn't do much here. When stripped of his Archie originating stutter, he really isn't much more than Mighty's version of Tails. But that's fine. I didn't expect Heavy King to show up, so that was cool. Flynn even managed to sneak Tails Doll into this story, giving the doll some uncanny movements without overdoing the "Tails Doll is creepy" meme. 

My biggest concern going into this special is that it would mimic the plotting of the "Mega Drive" one-shots. That it would function less like a story and more like a synopsis of a non-existent classic era game. This story features some stuff like that, as Flynn introduces four new stages patterned after the seasons with original Badniks. (Some of which are really cute. I love the little acorn guys and the snowman version of Hei Hou.) Luckily, "Seasons of Chaos" actually has a pretty amusing story. Sonic being forced to work with Eggman and other enemies is a good dynamic. The "Chase the MacGuffin" plotting keeps a good forward momentum. The addition of new-old characters throughout keeps things interesting. 

This story avoids another problem that faced "Mega Drive." The story manages to be funny without being constantly flippant. Sonic's confusion at Metal Sonic speeding off without a fight is a good joke. His sometimes snarky attitude towards Amy or Knuckles is amusing but never overdone. I also like how this story features Knuckles being gullible or self-serious without turning him into a complete idiot. Bean, who Flynn too often reduced to a obnoxiously wacky one-liner spouting machine, also gets some good moments here. While I'm not usually a fan of Eggman being an ineffectual goofball, his final moment of disappointment here is pretty great. 

"Seasons of Chaos" is obviously an action packed story. It's one long chase, with lots of brawling in between the various destinations, before concluding with a big boss bottle. Despite that, Flynn perfectly balanced character development and action. Amy's little moments of insecurity, trying to prove herself to Sonic but unable to avoid her affection for him, are really well done. It impresses me just how much little moments like Mighty shrugging off Fang's bullets or Knuckles stopping to rescue a bunny says about their personality. The best moment in the entire story comes with Sonic irritating Heavy King, a perfectly deadpan foil to the hedgehog, into attacking him. This is how you write an action driven story without sacrificing character development. 

It also looks so fucking good. It took three artists to bring this story to life. Aaron Hammerstrom drew most of it, with Thomas Rothlisberger providing frequent line art assistance and Tracy Yardley chipping in on two pages. Yet the art is incredibly consistent, maintaining that Classic Sonic look throughout. It's also extremely expressive, just the characters' faces getting laughs more than a few times. (Tyson Hesse was obviously an influence, with the goofy flat faces he specializes in being spotted a few times.) It's impressive to me how the art team manages to capture the Classic Sonic look but make it their own, keeping things exciting and funny.

Honestly, "Seasons of Chaos" would've been more than enough for me but this special includes two other stories as well. "Sonic Learns to Drive" is about exactly that. The hedgehog is in a car with driving instructor Kip the Capybara. Sonic does not prove to have a lot of respect for the rules of the road, much to Kip's frustration and irritation. We soon learn that the only reason Sonic is learning to drive at all is so he can compete in a race where the grand prize is a lifetime supply of chili dogs. 

"Sonic Learns to Drive" was written by famous podcasters and comedians the McElroy brothers. The brothers have referenced Sonic a few times during their podcasts and TV show, so you know they're real fans. Unsurprisingly, a trio of experienced comedians come up with a pretty funny idea for a story. Sticking Sonic in a boxy smart car is totally unintuitive to his being. Having someone who spends his entire life going fast get used to ideas like speed limits or brakes is comedy gold. Moreover, a stern and stuffy driving instructor like Kip makes a good straight man to Sonic's fast ways. Amusingly, Kip even gets a character arc, as he's won over by Sonic's speedy ways in the end. 

I'm not actually that familiar with the McElroy brothers' work but you can tell they have a particular cadence to their humor. Sonic trying to explain why he'd need a car or whether or not he finds running exhausting makes for some inspired silliness. I don't know if Sonic should talk in a deadpan, matter-of-fact, comedic fashion when discussing parts of speech, his inability to understand slowing down, chili dog technology, or feeling sick when touching a brake pedal.... But it all made me laugh a lot, so who cares. If nothing else, it's really easy to imagine Ben Schwartz saying these lines. 

A newcomer named Mauro Fonseca does the art and, again, it's excellent. Fonseca also manages to stay within the lines of the Classic Sonic style while bringing a huge amount of expressiveness to the material. The artwork also manages to sneak in a massive number of in-jokes towards obscure "Sonic" lore here. Here's just the ones I caught on my first read through: An air freshener based an extremely obscure "Sonic" space shooter hangs from Kip's rear-view mirror. A magazine inspired by "Sonic Eraser" appears in the backseat. The blue rabbit that was a Sonic prototype, the Game Gear Silver Sonic, the "3D Blast" Flickies, and the "Spinball" version of the Tornado all have cameos. They even sneak in the Dreams Come True tour poster, otherwise known as Sonic's first ever appearance. There's a hundred other things here that I'm sure are references to something that I just don't recognize. It's an Alan Moore/Kevin O'Neil-level game of Spot the In-Joke and I appreciate that. 

The final story is called "Dr. Eggman's Birthday" and is written by Gale Galligan. The story has Eggman waking up on his birthday, completely disinterested in celebrating. Despite his resentment to the celebration, his Badniks still attempt to throw him a party. After presenting him with a series of disappointing gifts, Eggman can't find the Hardboiled Heavies. He soon realizes that the machine have decided to ambush Sonic and friends, in an attempt at the ultimate birthday present. 

This is another short story with a really funny central premise. Eggman being grouchy on his birthday, while his mechanical henchmen attempt to appease him is highly amusing. Treating the Badniks like overeager kids, who present their grumpy "dad" with lackluster homemade craft, is a totally worthwhile gag. Eggman eventually admitting that he does appreciate having his minions around and even shows a glimpse at a softer side, makes for a good – or even oddly sweet – ending. There's also a few minor visual gags, like a variation on a typical "wash your hands" sign or a disturbing Sonic piñata, made me chuckle too. 

Thomas Rothlisberger goes solo on the artwork this time. It's lovely and Rothlisberger's goofy facial expressions for Eggman are very appreciated. Yet it's truly Nathaline Fourdraine's colors that truly shine here. The rich and moody coloring that often makes Fourdraine's covers so enchanting gets a longer run here. The panels of Eggman waking up or his bemused reaction to the Badnik's celebration are truly highlights of the entire book. (Which somewhat makes up for this story probably being my least favorite of the batch, though I still enjoyed it a lot,)

In other words, the entire 30th Anniversary Special is an absolute delight. You can tell that a great deal of care and love was taking with this comic, to ensure that every page of it dripped with affection for the Classic Sonic universe. I really hope this is successful enough to encourage IDW to produce more Classic Sonic-related media. Every page looks great. It's consistently hilarious without sacrificing personality or pacing. Perhaps I'm just bias because I'm happy to see Mighty and the Hooligans again. So be it. I mean, shit, they even got Spaz back to draw a variant cover! This thing is the most fun I've had with a "Sonic" comic in years. [9/10]

30 Years of Sonic Fandom

On this date, thirty years ago, the very first "Sonic the Hedgehog" video game was released for the Sega Genesis. Congratulations, Sonic, you're officially middle-aged. Buy a boat and start planning your retirement. Despite wildly divergent highs and lows over all that time, "Sonic" is somehow still relevant to our modern world. Sega has done everything they can to hype up this significant anniversary, though one assumes bigger plans were hijacked by the collective clusterfuck that was 2020. Either way, the "Sonic" franchise has now survived three decades, which is way longer than I think anyone ever could've anticipated back in 1991. 

Obviously, Hedgehogs Can't Swim wasn't going to let this momentous occasion pass without some sort of acknowledgment. Today, the pop culture and gaming press is surely full of all sorts of retrospectives, tracking the series' tumultuous and unexpected history over these past thirty years. You don't need me to regurgitate trivia and factoids that can be easily found anywhere else on the internet. Instead, I'm taking this magical day to talk about something far more self-indulgent: My history with "Sonic the Hedgehog," my story as a fan of whatever the hell this series is. 

I was almost three years old when the very first "Sonic the Hedgehog" game was unleashed on the world. By some twist of fate, I almost share a birthday with my favorite multi-media franchise. The original game came out exactly one day before I turned three. That's young enough that I have no specific memories of the first game's release. In fact, as I've mentioned before, I'm not even sure when I first became aware of the blue hedgehog. The earliest memory I actually retain about "Sonic" is also one I've talked about before: That would be watching a clip of "SatAM" on ABC's 1993 prime time preview of that year's new cartoon shows. 

I also know I saw ads for the original game in issues of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Magazine, which I thumbed through repeatedly as a kid as the Turtles were my first pop culture obsession. Those ads might very well be my first exposure to anything "Sonic" related. Either way, it was the cartoon show and the comic book, which I discovered shortly afterwards, that made me the true blue hedgehog fanatic that I am today.

I imagine this experience is not typical of "Sonic" fans my age. Most of you guys probably played the video game first. Because money wasn't always easy to come by in my childhood household, and because my mother thought video games were noisy and annoying, I didn't receive my own Sega Genesis until a few years later. I'm pretty sure I didn't get my Genesis until my seventh birthday, in June of 1995. I can recall with great detail how I got this console: My mom took me to Toys R' Us and had me pick out some Genesis games that she said were for a family member's birthday. I selected "Sonic 3," "Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine" and "Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster's Hidden Treasure." Being a naïve child, I bought right into this easily seen-through deception, a parent ignorant of gaming tricking her child into picking out his own gifts. Pretty sneaky, Mom! 

When I unwrapped those games on my birthday I was shocked and delighted. Because kids are dumb but also precious. I can assure you that "Sonic 3" and "Mean Bean Machine" were the first "Sonic" games I ever played. And I kind of sucked at both of them, having trouble getting through the first few levels. Yet I was still sucked in. I quickly acquired "Sonic 1," "2," "& Knuckles," "Spinball," and even "3D Blast." When we got our first PC a few years later, I even had a copy of "Sonic Schoolhouse," though I can't recall playing it more than once. While I never owned one myself, I did have a friend with a Sega CD and a copy of "Sonic CD," which allowed me to marvel at the opening animation and stumble through the first couple stages. 

Obviously, I spent many hours playing those games, wasting huge chunks of my childhood on pixels and controllers. "Sonic 2" and the singular, detached "Sonic & Knuckles" cartage became my favorites and are the only two I ever mastered as a kid. While I love and respect those original games, it's fair to say they aren't my favorite iteration of the "Sonic" universe. I can recall, as a young boy, wanting nothing more than for Sally and the Freedom Fighters to appear in one of the games. Imagine how bug nuts I went when I discovered their cameos in "Sonic Spinball." 

This is because, as I've said over and over again on this blog, the Archie comic book is really what turned me into a "Sonic" obsessive. I've been trying to figure out why this goofy comic book – which obviously had more than its fair share of shitty issues – meant so much to me. And I think I've finally cracked it: It was another world. Sonic's universe was colorful and crazy and full of lovable characters. It was a place that felt distinct from our world, with conflicts and melodramas that were bigger yet simpler than those of real life. It had depth too. Those early issues introduced new characters, story concepts, and ideas so quickly and sloppily that a convoluted lore quickly built up. As longtime readers of the comic and this blog know, those issues could also get surprisingly dark at times.

It was easy to get lost in this wonderland. When things got hard at home and in my young life, which they often did, I was always able to get lost in those comic books. More so than any thematic concerns or storytelling hooks, that's why "Sonic" means so much to me. As ridiculous as it feels to type this, those books became a source of comfort for me. And continued to be one for two decades, this comic ostensibly for children oddly finding a way to age with me. This might be why it bugged me so much when the reboot introduced regular humans to the comic's world, as it made the Archie universe resemble our world more. I don't want "Sonic" to resemble our world! I want it to be a wild and crazy place with its own weird-ass mythos and rules. 

It was an escape that was only for me too, making it feel even more impossibly personal. While I certainly knew kids and had friends who played the "Sonic" games and watched the cartoons, I was the only person I knew that was into the comic. This is probably why this stupid-ass funny animal book became part of my fuckin personality, because it sometimes felt like it was made just for me. As the decade went on and "Sonic's" popularity faded somewhat, I retreated even more into my obsession and started writing long-winded stories and fan comics about these characters and their world. I wanted to be a part of this universe that I loved so much. That desire expressed itself in fanfic ideas that may or may not have featured an overpowered self-insert character. 

I call these fanfics but they were more like ideas, episode synopses and scripts for non-existent TV shows and movies, because I didn't know what the fuck fan fiction was at the time. That all changed when I got online around 1998 or so. The first "Sonic" website I can recall finding was called The Sonic Foundation and it blew my fucking mind. There were other people out there like me! Who also knew about this shit and obsessed over it and wrote shitty stories where they got to hang out with their favorite characters! It was a real "eureka" moment, let me tell ya.

I quickly delve into the world of "Sonic" fandom, finding other sites and chat rooms and fanfic archives that took up too much of my time. This was so long ago that Google wasn't even popular yet and I had to use WebCrawler to search out primitive "Sonic" fan sites. Such as the homes of outed predator PsyGuy and future "Sonic" professionals like Tyson Hesse and J. Axer. I even pushed my limited HTML skills to the breaking point and attempted to create my own "Sonic" site on Angelfire, which shamefully still exists and I will definitely not link you to. Whether or not my ill-begotten attempts at fanfics and – shivers – sprite comics still survive, I thankfully can't tell you.

I was growing into a moody, emotionally disaffected, edgy pre-teen by this point. The world was about to get a lot darker, for everybody it seemed, and I was pleased to find other "Sonic" fans undergoing similar transformations. It wasn't hard at all to find comics and fanfics filled with edge-lord jokes and inappropriate darkness around that time. Fan-writers like David Macintyre, Stephen Zacharus, and some goofy goobers named Sean Catlett and Ian Potto became people I admired and looked up to. In a roundabout way, this led me on my own path towards attempting to become a professional writer, which is really a story for another day.

By this point, the nineties were over and we were all living in a strange new millennium. Among the many crazy changes I was grappling with at that time, the "Sonic" franchise underwent its biggest change ever. The launch of the Sega Dreamcast and the release of "Sonic Adventure" made the series popular again, if not as popular as it was during its early nineties heyday. The "modern" era of Sonic – which is now twenty years old – would signal a radical shift in game play and something like a change in attitude for the franchise. The stories became more involved, feeling increasingly like something out of an anime. It brought with it an influx of new fans, with "Sonic Adventure 2" really firing the imaginations of younger hedgehog appreciators. 

This, in my opinion, is when the "Sonic" fandom started to get weird. The internet was becoming more of a widespread thing, exposing the stranger corners of the fandom to a wider audience. The popularity of websites like DeviantArt and LiveJournal gave a voice to a lot of talented people and a lot of other people who probably shouldn't have had their voices amplified. The franchise going in a different direction intensified the petty debates between the opposing corners of the fandom. (Which, owning to the very different interpretations of the character that we're out there, we're already pretty far apart.) This, from my point-of-view, is when the Sonic fandom started to develop a reputation for being terrible.

Eventually, Sega stopped making consoles. Not too long after that, the games stopped being good. The franchise shattering failure of "Sonic '06" led the people who make "Sonic" games in increasingly offbeat directions – like adding guns or swords or making Sonic a werewolf for some reason – in a desperate attempt to keep people interested. This did little to rehabilitate the franchise and did even less for the fandom. Now there was this perception that we were all devotees of a loser, over-the-hill series that was bad now and was maybe always bad. Circa 2009 or so, saying you were a "Sonic" fan was about analogous to saying you were a furry pervert or a racist autist.

Unsurprisingly, this is when I started to distance myself from "Sonic." I was a young adult in college at the time and really had more important shit to do anyway. Yes, I was still reading the comic book and loving that it was actually good again around this time. Yet I stopped playing the games. I didn't watch the cartoons. I hid my merch when I had girlfriends over and only mentioned my long-held fascination to my closest friends. My initial launch of this blog in 2010, which only saw a few updates before I abandoned it, was actually a failed attempt to get back in-touch with my "Sonic" fandom. To figure out why I was so into this thing that was now regarded as a laughingstock. 

Yet the damage had been done. Over the last decade, the "Sonic" franchise had mutated in a lot of ways I don't recognize. I stopped buying video games altogether. "Generations" and "Mania" are really the only entries into the series I've played much since I turned 21. When people mention the "boost formula" or start arguing if Jason Griffith or Roger Craig Smith were better, I really have no idea what they're talking about. This is why I was dismissive of characters like Silver, Blaze, and the Babylon Rogues for so long. They were unwanted additions to a series that had, in my opinion, forgotten itself. 

It felt like a strange time to be a "Sonic" fan. Yet, for a lot of fans, this is the only version of the series they've known. The franchise may have felt like it was flatlining and the fandom sure seemed like it was rotting from the inside out. Still, the "Sonic" community survived and grew. When I do interact with other fans, via this blog and Twitter and Discord, I still feel out-of-place sometimes. I'm an old foggey who has been around since almost the beginning, which means I can't relate with some fans. Yet, these days, I'm largely at peace with the realization that some parts of the vast "Sonic"-verse are for me and some parts of it aren't. Starting to shift this blog less from an investigation into fandom and more of a collection of retrospective reviews helped me understand that. 

On its 30th anniversary, in a weird way, the "Sonic" series feels healthier than it's been a long time. The rehabilitation really started five years ago, during the last anniversary, when “Sonic Mania” became the first game in the series to receive unanimous praise in many, many years. The following big budget game was less well received but the fallout from that seems to be that Sega has learned to actually take time between titles, instead of rushing them out. The corporate entities behind “Sonic” got good at memes. A new comic began, garnering positive attention from people both in and outside the family. A movie that, at first, looked like a catastrophe was turned around at the last minute. The movie rode its status as the last major release before a global pandemic shut theaters down to surprising levels of success. Now, a sequel has finished filming and a new cartoon show is quickly approaching. 

In 2020, “Sonic” is still kind of a laughingstock but he's in on the joke now. The weird-ass legacy of the series is accepted and the blue hedgehog seems to be regarded with warm nostalgia by a lot of people. Though toxic behavior will always exist in any fandom, “Sonic” fans do seem to have chilled out somewhat and aren't the regular punching bags they once were. I guess I would say I'm cautiously optimistic about the franchise's future and am no longer ashamed to be a “Sonic” fan. It's part of who I am and I'm cool with that.

If you read this entire rambling essay, thanks for sticking around. Race onward into your third decade, blue hedgehog, and be proud of all you've accomplished. As for me, I guess I'll continue to chronicle these adventures. I seem to enjoy doing so. 

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.02: To Catch a Queen

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.02: To Catch a Queen

Original Air Date: August 31st, 1999

While I have comparatively few memories of watching "Sonic Underground" when it was new, I do vividly recall the first episode I saw. All I really remember about it is a scene of Sonic conquering his fear of water by doing a supersonic leap over an underground stream. This is, I think, the first time I really recall Sonic's inability to swim being characterized as hydrophobia. In other words, this one episode of this dumbass cartoon is partially responsible for this blog being entitled "Hedgehogs Can't Swim." So that's something, I guess.

"To Catch a Queen" was also the second episode to air, so I guess I jumped onto "Sonic Underground" way earlier than I realized. It involves Argus, a former guard to Queen Alena. He's captured by Sleet and Dingo and quickly roboticized. Sonic and his siblings rescue him but their magical medallions only affect him long enough to reveal the partial location of his rendezvous point with the Queen. After a little more digging – and a musical number – they learn that this meeting place is in the sewers. Sleet and Dingo are also aware of this and ambush the triplets underground. 

Roboticization has already come up a lot across these first four episodes. In fact, "To Catch a Queen" reveals the strange fact that Robotnik holds gala unveiling ceremonies for especially prominent Robians. Which really makes no sense, considering one robot slave isn't really worth anymore than another. This is just one way that "Sonic Underground" doesn't really grapple with the existential horrors of roboticization. "SatAM" and the early comics made a point of emphasizing how dehumanizing this process was. It was a major threat always hanging over the heroes. Here, it's just a plot device, a reason for the story relevant Argue to dip in and out of the episode. 

And what about this Argus guy? It's weird that the episode is built around a character we've never seen before and will never see again. Then again, that also describes Sonic, Sonia, and Manic's relationship with their own mother. After seeing a picture of them as babies with Argus, Manic even notes that he doesn't really remember their childhood much. The entire series is built around our heroes trying to reunite with someone they barely remember, that they have no especially deep emotional attachment to. That's weird, right? Just as the last episode did, "To Catch a Queen" teases the triplets with a near-encounter with their mom. Is the whole series going to be like this? Constant, fleeting almost-meetings with a parental unit our protagonists don't even know that well?

There's a reason why the triplets are so fixated on finding this mom they don't actually know. As the theme song says, they made a vow their mother would be found. It's the driving plot point of the whole show. Four episodes deep and I can already tell how static these characters are. Sonic is always annoying his sister with his speed. (His catchphrase of "I'm waiting" is repeated here more often than in "AoStH.") Sonia is always the snooty princess, pining for her boyfriend Bartleby. Manic is always the pickpocket with sticky fingers. Even though the opening three-parter was about the triplets getting over these differences, it doesn't matter. The show designates its cast a couple of personality quirks and that's the extent of their depth. Sonic's fear of water is just another attribute assigned to him, along with his speed and endless desire to find his mom. It's not real growth. 

You can see this static quality in the supporting cast too. Dingo's childish crush on Sonia is referenced again. Yet the real one-note quirk that defines that character is focused on here. Sleet has a device that he zaps Dingo with, which changed his body into whatever shape is required. In this episode, Dingo is morphed into a football-shaped baby, a house fly, a random tipster that kind of looks like a chimpanzee, and Argus. I would imagine such drastic transmutations would be incredibly painful for the guy – not to mention the clear glee Sleet takes in humiliating his partner – but the show plays it for broad comedy. It's certainly horrifying for the viewer to watch, as Dingo's features being stretched over such varying shapes is some primo body horror. 

Sleet and Dingo are the primary antagonists of this episode, with Robotnik taking a back seat. Honestly, I recall that being true of most of "Underground." Sonic and his supposed arch-enemy interact very little in this iteration of the series, as I remember. Which might be why the moment in "To Catch a Queen" that feels the most Sonic-y is when the hedgehog humiliates Robotnik one-on-one. At that ridiculous robot unveiling, Sonic tosses a microphone at Robotnik's head and saws at the stage until it flips over. It's very silly. Despite Garry Chalk's grim bluster, it's a moment more befitting Long John Baldry's Robotnik than Jim Cummings'. Yet at least Sonic and Robotnik are actually in the same room together. 

I guess my "Sonic Underground" reviews will be continuously characterized by me ripping into the song-of-the-day. "Have You Got the 411?," which is performed when the triplets are trying to suss out their mom's location, is typically inane. It still bugs me that a band featuring a guitar and drum set only seems to produce synth pop numbers. "Underground's" song writers continue to rely on repetitive lyrics and simplistic melodies. (A repeated couplet is "I'm looking for someone/Have you got the 411?" Yes, they rhyme "one" with "one.") However, this number is kind of catchy, owing perhaps to its "na-na-nanana-na" backing track. That's more than I can say for the last three musical segments.

Also, the characters go noticeably off-model several times. Sonic and Manic have freakishly long limbs in their first scene, for one example. And I continue to find the mechanical design of this show pretty underwhelming. Argus' aircraft resembles the flying winnebago from "Spaceballs" a bit too much to take it seriously. It's a dumb, lame episode. Not that I'm surprised or anything. I can already feel myself growing numb to "Underground's" mediocrity-bordering-on-badness. By the end of this retrospective, I will presumably feel nothing at all. [5/10]

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.30: Harmony or Something

Sonic Underground, Episode 1.30: Harmony or Something

Original Air Date: October 8th, 1999

"Harmony or Something" picks up right where the previous part of the "Origins" story left off. (Which makes its status as the thirtieth episode to air even stranger.) Sonic, Sonia, and Manic are training with Thelonious at the floating monastery. That's when the monk feels a disturbance in the Force, sensing that Robotnik is fire-bombing Robotropolis and rounding up anyone suspicious. Including Sonic's friend, Trevor. The three head back to Robotropolis, even if they haven't mastered their powers yet. They uncover a plot to find the Oracle and blow him up real good.

Even though the last episode was supposed to be about getting the triplets in harmony, both literally and figuratively, it seems the show is not done with that moral yet. Throughout "Harmony or Something," Sonic, Sonia, and Manic bicker constantly. They sarcastically rebuff one another at every point. Sonic's impulsiveness annoys Sonia. Sonia's haughtiness annoys the guys. Manic's sticky fingers bothers his siblings as well. Watching these characters constantly snipe at each other is not endearing. In fact, I often found myself agreeing with Sonic and Sonia's critiques of each other. The banter is too convincing as annoyance, making their inevitable kiss-and-make-up scene feel entirely insincere.

The episode begins with a scene where the triplets are running around a castle, fighting a dragon that is then revealed to be an air elemental. Once again, I find myself feeling that these fantasy elements feel entirely out of place on a "Sonic" show. But now I'm wondering why. "SatAM" and the comics had wizards and dragons and magic spells and they still felt like "Sonic." Maybe the lack of any game elements whatsoever – no Tails, no power rings, no booby traps – is the reason. Or perhaps the focus on the music gimmick to the exclusion of so much else is the cause. Either way, I feel like you could have slotted any character into the lead role and "Sonic Underground" would be unchanged. Sonic only uses his speed once in the entire episode.

Even more so than random "Dungeons and Dragons" bullshit getting dropped into the show, I'm really tired of "Underground" returning to the trope of a wise, magical mentor. Thelonious is the third such character introduced in as many episodes. "Harmony or Something" also sees the Oracle returning to impose a meaningful lesson in the kids. Finally, Queen Alena herself appears as a magic vision, to tell her children to get their act together. Ya know, it doesn't feel like our characters have earned any sort of growth when someone magically comes along and tells them what to do. Bringing the trio's missing mom into the story so soon also makes you wonder why the hell she's in hiding. I know, the prophecy foretells it. But that's a stupid reason to keep someone constantly just out of arms' reach. It feels like Queen Alena abandoned her kids just because someone said she had to. It's not enthralling writing...

 

Wait a minute... Dumb-ass prophecies dictating the story... Parents leaving their kids behind just to passive-aggressively monitor and manipulate their lives from behind the scenes... An abundance of magical mentors telling everyone what to do, while relying on annoying mysticism... Are we sure Ken Penders didn't write this show? This is not the last time "Sonic Underground" would seemingly pulled from the comic book series, despite Ben Hurst's insistence that he's never picked up a single issue of it.

The episode does, at least, have one thing going for it. This version of Robotnik is proving rather ruthless. Carpet-bombing his own city just to flush out some rebels is pretty intense. So is the scene where he invites Sonia's absurdly stuck-up fiancé Bartleby into his chamber just to have Sonia's roboticized foster mom walk in. He also comes very close to roboticizing Sleet and Dingo as well. Garry Chalk is no Jim Cummings but he's still making a convincing villain anyway.

A scene directly after that one also brought "SatAM" to mind in a very good way. Spotting her de-facto mother paraded around as a grotesque cyborg naturally upsets Sonia. She insists she'll rescue Lady Windermere but Sonic and Manik grimly point out that roboticization is irreversible. Sonia is moved to tears and has to hug it out. This recalls "SatAM's" guiding principal that they're must always be losses. (In fact, it might be even darker than that show, since Uncle Chuck's personality could be restored there.) The scenes of Sonic sneaking around Robotnik's base, grieving lost loved ones, and bantering with a princess is the indicators that this series shared much of the same writing staff as "SatAM."

If only it could have kept that stuff and ditched the fucking songs. Once again, an episode of "Sonic Underground" concludes with another asinine song. "We're All in This Together" is, at least, less insufferable than the last two songs. Even if it still features a limo, a muzak-like backing track, and strangled lyrics like "We're all in this together/like birds of a feather." What's stranger yet is the "music video" that plays under the song. In three layers, some of which are distorted, scenes from the episode play while a squiggly line to the left tracks the beat. That feels like a really random attempt to replicate the music videos of the early eighties.

I keep hoping that, as I watch more of "Sonic Underground," I'll eventually grow immune to the skin-crawling displeasures of the songs. That hasn't happened yet, as my jaw still locks up whenever the singing starts. Anyway, as with the last two episodes, this is another installment that shows "Underground" had potential but it was just buried under so much stupid bullshit. [5/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 41

Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW): Issue 41

Publication Date: June 16th, 2021

We are getting back to the IDW "Sonic" comic sooner than we usually do. What with June of 2021 being Sonic's 30th birthday month, IDW became determined to pump out as many blue hedgehog-related comic books as possible. Last week, we had the final part of Evan Stanley's recent arc. This week, we have the first part of Ian Flynn's return to the book. Next week, this year's annual (and anniversary special for the entire franchise) will come out. It's nice to get a triple dose of Sonic shenanigans this month but I'm glad this is not the usual release schedule. 

We begin in Winterburg, the snowy town we visited back in "Chao Chases and Badnik Base." Eggman is currently attacking it and Sonic is currently protecting it. The doctor is looking for the Deadly Six, who have been missing since the end of "Bad Guys." It turns out the Zetis are planning something. Zavok recoups from his previous defeat and decides to get the band back together. He gathers up the members of his pack, wrecking havoc wherever he goes in his quest for revenge and conquest. Jewel hires the Chaotix to figure out who is behind the attacks and they immediately deduce the Zetis are responsible and that Winterburg is there next target. 

After letting Evan Stanley drive for two whole arcs, Ian Flynn is back in the driver's seat. And his plot heavy writing returns with him. "Zeti Hunt, Part One" is one of those issues devoted entirely to setting up the rest of the arc. Within the span of these twenty pages, the Deadly Six are shown getting back together and then get on the war path. Our heroes prepare to react and... That's the end of the issue. This is an entire comic book made up of inciting incident, with no room left for character development or personal interaction. 

What dialogue we do get is also focused on setting up the plotting. The opening fight between Sonic and Eggman has them trading lots of banter but they mostly trade exposition. I guess Flynn expects the 30th anniversary advertising push to bring in some new readers, because the two characters breathlessly recount the pertinent plot points. Or maybe he's doing this for his own benefit, as the scene really feels like Flynn reminding himself of where the Deadly Six, Starline, Eggman and Sonic where when he last left them. (Which is emphasized by the multiple editor's boxes, pointing readers back to the recent issues.) There is, disappointingly, no references to anything that happened during Stanley's run. Has this script just been sitting on a shelf for eight months? 

About the only crumb of character development we get this time is establishing Zavok's motivation. His defeat in "Bad Guys" has left him deeply humiliated. After moping for a moment, he rededicates himself to revenge. When he meets up with Master Zik, it's implied that conquest and fighting are the cornerstones of Zeti culture. Zavok says destroying your enemies or dying in combat are the only two ways to live life. This is why his defeat pissed him off so much. He didn't just loose. He was dishonored. This Klingon/bushido thing is the most insight we've gotten into the Zetis' actual value system in all the time they've been featured in "Sonic" comic books. 

If this is a prologue to a deeper exploration of Zeti honor, the rest of the issue doesn't let us know. Because the colorful ogres spend the rest of their page time just wrecking shit. They go from town to town and raze them. Zavok, for some reason, blames the Restoration for his failures and wants to undo everything they've done. The resulting destruction reminded me of the role the Deadly Six played during the Metal Virus, where they were just huge assholes determined to destroy and conquer for no particular reason. Zavok's characterization as a scheming master-planner in "Bad Guys" was much more compelling. It definitely feels like the character is backsliding some. 

But let's get back to the Restoration for a minute... In this issue, we see that the various towns and communities ravaged by the Metal Virus have, more-or-less, been restored to their pre-pandemic status quo. The Restoration is credited with this. It's funny how the Restoration has been doing all this restoring completely off-panel. How much time has passed since the Zombot crisis ended? A couple months? Weeks? That's a lot of restoring in not-a-lot of time. Once again, we are told how much of a difference the Restoration has made without actually seeing them do any of the fucking work. Similarly, Ian Flynn also continues to show a willingness to just move on from the year-long arc he wrote by essentially pretending it never happen. Seriously, Flynn, why did you spend so much time on the Metal Virus saga if you were just going to sweep it under the rug the minute it was over?

We know that the Metal Virus storyline was originally planned for the later period Archie 'Sonic” series. And now that Flynn is done with that, I'm getting this increasingly strong suspicion that the dude is just simply out of ideas. The two-parter immediately following the big storyline's conclusion felt similarly exhausted, characters reduced to their Sega-approved archetypes and the plot mechanically moving forward without much passion, personality, or wit. Is it possible, after writing “Sonic” for two-plus decades, Ian Flynn is just worn out? I don't know but the beginning of this latest arc doesn't exactly get my hopes up. 

Then again, I've been wrong before and this certainly wouldn't be the first time a story in this comic had a weak start, before becoming something more interesting later on. Maybe things will perk up if Flynn brings Belle and Starline into things. If nothing else, Adam Bryce Thomas' artwork is typically great. The panels of Zavok going into a revenge-fueled rage or Sonic's fight with Eggman's snowman shaped machine are wonderfully expressive and dynamic. I wish the boring script was up to the standard of the exciting illustrations. [5/10]