Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 158

 

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 158
Publication Date: January 2006

2006 would be the year that Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” book would finally pull itself out of the pit of mediocrity it had been simmering in for quite a few years. Soon, enough, a new creative staff will come on board and revitalize the title. But we're not there, not quite yet. We still have two more issues before Ken Penders' reign comes to an end. Though Ken would leave for other reasons, you can't help but wonder if he was running out of ideas. Issue 158 promises yet another fight between Sonic and Shadow. Don't these guys do anything else? The book hasn't been this fight crazy since the early days, when Knuckles was still a new character. Anyway, let's get on with the show.

“System Reconfiguration” continues where we left off. A group of Metal Sonic robots has invaded Robotnik's city. The doctor assumes Snively is behind this but the true culprit, the mysterious force hacking his system, remains unidentified. He quickly gets Mecha back on his side. Just as the machines look like they'll overrun the villain's lair, they instead head out for Knothole City, destroying everything in their path. Sonic and Shadow just escape the chaos, heading into the forest to fight the invasion for different reason. Both hedgehogs will soon learn some startling information.

Besides old dog faithfuls like me, I don't know who the hell else was reading the comic book in 2006. Maybe the younger Sonic fans, driven to the comic by a mania for “Sonic Adventure 2” and “Sonic Heroes,” wanted to see Sonic and Shadow fight each other once again? If that was the audience Archie was targeting at the time, I bet they were disappointed in this story. Despite the cover promising a title bout between the blue blur and his latest rival, Sonic and Shadow do not fight in this issue. In fact, they are even working together – kind of – throughout part of it. Shadow spends about a third of the issue unconscious!

But covers always lie. What of the actual content? To his credit, Ken does make an effort to develop Shadow a little as a character. Robotnik attempts to manipulate the so-called ultimate life form. Robotnik points out his familial relation with Shadow's creator, making the hedgehog a nephew of sorts to the villain. Interestingly, Shadow doesn't buy it. Instead, he's driven to protect Hope. Considering his connection with Hope has been his sole humanizing element, I don't mind Ken returning to that one. It doesn't amount to much. Mostly, it's a story excuse to get the anti-hero fighting the horde of Metal Sonics. But it counts for something.

The robotic threats, called the Metal Sonic Troopers, are also potentially interesting. They sport the dorky black leather loincloth design from “Sonic Heroes.” They don't display a flick of personality. Instead, the troopers act like a zombie horde. They don't eat flesh but they do descend as a crowd, destroying everything around them. We learn their origin. Rotor and Uncle Chuck built them as a robotic police force while Sonic was in space. Once the hero came back, the Troopers were shelved. Sadly, both of these points are wasted. Sonic spends a little too much time relaxing after the robots are set loose, making them seem less dangerous. Our hero, meanwhile, has no reaction – good or otherwise – to learning that his uncle and friend are responsible for this new threat.

Among all this chaos, Ken once again makes an attempt to sneak in some pathos. Before the Troopers attack Knothole, Jules and Bernie have another conversation about their son. Bernie wonders if they've gone wrong, letting Sonic march into danger like he does. Once again, Jules recommends giving the boy some distance, that he's not a child anymore. This can't help but remind me of how Locke treated Knuckles, spying on him while refusing to actually father him. Maybe it's just residual annoyance with that plot point that makes these scenes stick out to me. Or maybe they really just don't have a place in this current story.

I know I bitch about Ron Lim's artwork all the time. In “System Reconfiguration,” Lim does some especially lousy work, just when he was showing some improvement too. The Metal Sonic Trooper look too much like a collection of pointy edges. When attacking as a crowd, Lim just draws a big blue, squiggly shape. His character work is okay in a few panels. Uncle Chuck and Shadow look okay, at least by the standards of Ron Lim's pencils. The action artwork, however, is dire. It's lifeless, messy, and shapeless.

For the back-up story, Archie forces us to suffer through another shitty “Off-Panel” comic. Mike Gallgher's script even admits that no one is actually interested in reading this. A gag claims Hugh – apparently the guy who changes the print cartridge – demanded another one of these. Anyway, the plot: Sonic and editor Mike Pellerito meet in a back alley for some reason. There, they are attacked by Blackstage, some Phantom of the Opera looking motherfucker who threatens to expose a bunch of behind-the-scenes footage to the fans, expecting this info to destroy sales. It doesn't work because fans enjoy stuff like this. So the villain essentially defeats himself.

It's so dumb, you guys. The script is derivative of “Better Read Than Dead” from 126, with a lame villain appearing to threaten the editorial staff in a really dumb way. Like in that story, Sonic is benched for most of the plot, making Pellerito the hero. (Because that's what people reading a “Sonic the Hedgehog” comic book wanted to see: The adventures of the editor.) Blackstage's plan doesn't even make sense. Why would behind the scene footage destroy a comic book's credibility? It's a comic, not pro-wrestling! Is Blackstage unaware of the popularity of DVD special features?

I guess that's to be expected, as this is a gag comic. Sadly, the gags aren't funny either. Blackstage's incriminating footage includes stunt doubles, camera tricks, special effect shots, and King Acorn being in a make-up chair for six hours. (I've always suspect Mike Gallagher stopped paying attention to the book years ago and this proves that, as all these story events are from the pre-100 days.) When the bad guy is informed that his plan is stupid and sucks, Sonic tears his clothes off, puts the mask on, and sings a bar of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Jeeeezus. Is this what Archie's comedy books were like at the time? No wonder nobody read them back then. I'll give the story this much though. It's slightly less embarrassing then “The Edge of Parodies,” the previous Off-Panel five pager.

The cover story is slightly better then most of the “Sonic” stories Archie published in 2005. This is faint praise, as it's still a stiflingly mediocre affair. Ken isn't exactly going to go out on a high note but he could've done a lot worst. We all know that. I'm willing to totally ignore that fucking terrible back-up story and just stick this one with a [6/10.] I'm feeling generous.

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 147

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 147
Publication Date: March 2005

Recently, I theorized that Archie was putting such a heavy focus on Shadow the Hedgehog because Sega insisted the comic include more video game elements. Further proof comes along in the second part of the “The Good, the Bad, and the Unknown” tetralogy. The third corner of this fightin’ triangle is revealed as Metal Sonic. Though a consistent adversary to Sonic in the games, the original Metal Sonic hasn’t appeared in the comics since the “Knuckles’ Chaotix” one-shot, roughly a million years ago. So his sudden reappearance in the book is a bit of a surprise, one Archie hyped up nearly as much as Shadow’s.

The Freedom Fighters split up inside the mysterious underground lair they have found themselves in. Tails and Tommy enter a control room, helplessly pressing buttons. Fiona has been left in some obscure corner, which Sonic, Rotor, and Bunnie quickly speed to. Metal Sonic, sent by Eggman to check shit out, tracks down Shadow and Isaac. The robot quickly starts to wail on Shadow and his friend. Before long, Sonic enters the fray, apparently just looking for a good fight.

I don’t know why Ken threw together this collection of characters. Sonic and Tails go on adventures all the time while Rotor and Bunnie fill the smart guy and brawler roles, respectively. But what do Tommy and Fiona add to this team? Seems like both got slotted into additional scientific roles, even though Rotor’s already on this mission. I suppose the writer was trying to boost those two, still relative new additions to the team. What ends up happening instead is a story with too many characters, the writer awkwardly attempting to find a role for everyone. This results in an unfocused script that leaps around too much, confusing and irritating readers.

Sega faithfuls love Metal Sonic, considering him one of Sonic’s most dangerous adversaries. I’ve never quite gotten the hype. As a robot, he’s defined by a one-note drive to destroy Sonic. In “The Heart of the Hedgehog” arc, Dan Fingeroth merged this with a more personable psychosis and a sarcastic streak, actually making Metal Sonic interesting. Ken attempts something similar here. The writer shoves some trash talk into the robotic hedgehog’s voice synthesizer. He refers to Shadow as “Bio-Trash” and repeatedly declares himself his superior. While that worked with the more humanized Metal Sonic 2.5, it’s an odd fit for this version of Metal Sonic, who just came off the assembly line. Still, it is slightly more interesting then Shadow’s boring friend Isaac.

Then again, maybe I’m overestimating Ken’s intentions. Because “The Good, the Bad, and the Unknown” only really has one purpose: Getting Sonic, Shadow, and Metal Sonic into a big fight. Which the story gleefully leaps into. Metal Sonic floors Shadow with a telescoping extend-o punch. Shadow, in retaliation, swings him into a wall. There’s punches, leaps, tossed rocks, and rocket boosters to the face. Metal Sonic at least has a reason for fighting these guys. Sonic’s excuse for getting into the action – running off to join the fight just because he’s bored – reeks of lazy writing. It’s as if the Archie brass told the writer “We don’t care why they fight, just make them fight” and he delivered in as cynical a fashion possible.

Remember a while ago when Archie, for some stupid reason, gave the Off-Panel crew a five page story? Sure you do. Remember how I said they never did that again? I’m sorry, that was wrong. “The Edge of Parodies” is a self-indulgent bit of fourth wall breaking from Mike Gallagher and Dave Manak. Mike and Dave enter the Off-Panel universe, despite Sonic’s objection. Both quickly realize, as the writer and artist, they have control over the story as it happens. Dave and Mike immediately transform themselves into superheroes and spend the rest of the comic arguing about who has cooler powers. Sonic attempts to distract them with some old Badniks but it takes the editor stepping in, saying this bullshit is stupid and to stop it, to make the story end.

“This Side of Parodies” has one funny gag. Sonic recruits a bunch of Badniks from the original game – once regular cast members who haven’t been seen in years – to challenge Gallagher and Manak. Seeing Moto-Bug as a grouchy old man is mildly amusing. Otherwise, “This Side of Parodies” is another useless bit of ego masturbation for Manak and Gallagher. Without irony, both fictional stand-ins blame the other for the book’s sometimes shoddy quality. Manak says his art makes Gallagher’s rushed scripts awesome. Gallagher says his writing makes up for Manak’s sketchy artwork. Which doesn’t disguise the fact that this story is about the writers making themselves superheroes. Though I will say this much: Unlike “Better Read Than Dead,” at least Sonic has an extended role in this story. It’s not just about how awesome the comic’s creative staff is. Still, I can’t imagine excited kids, eager to read about Sonic the Hedgehog’s adventures, were much pleased by this.

Issue 147 wraps up with “Fox and the Hound.” Sonic is too busy adventuring to play with Muttski. Desperate for attention, the dog instead teams up with Tails for some playtime. The two proceed to play fetch, hopstocth, and go for a swim. During a game of hide and seek, Muttski starts to get aggressive towards Tails. Sonic intervenes and insists this is just a misunderstanding, as Muttski thought he was fox hunting.

“Fox and the Hound” has a promising idea. The story mentions Sonic’s ability to understand Muttski’s speech, a plot point the book has done nothing with since introducing it. Overall, seeing Tails and Muttski bond over their mutual status as Sonic’s ignored sidekicks is a cute idea. This could’ve built towards a “boy and his dog” scenario, Tails having a deeper bound with Sonic’s pet then the hedgehog ever did. Instead, “Fox and the Hound” is just build-up towards a really lame pun about fox hunting. It’s another Romy Chacon five pagers that wastes the potential inherit in its premise.

At least the art isn’t too bad. Steven Butler continues to do fine work on the cover story, even if his Metal Sonic looks a little weird. (And it’s disappointing that Isaac is drawn as a straight palette swipe of E-102 Gamma, right down to the number designation.) But Sonic, Shadow, Bunnie and the gang still look awesome, as does the action. Dave Manak’s artwork for “This Side of Parodies” is typical of Manak. However, his loose, angular style fits the story, misbegotten as it may be. Al Bigley continues to improve with “Fox and the Hound.” Tails and Sonic still look a little off at times but, for the most parts, Bigley is developing a style of his own: Jovial and cartoony without loosing track of the characters’ reality. A little more fine-tuning and he could’ve turn into a great “Sonic” artist. Disappointingly, he would only draw one more story for Archie before leaving the book.

Issue 147 is another collection of lame stories. “The Good, the Bad, and the Unknown” reveals itself as nothing more then a mindless fight fest. (And I generally like fight fest!) “Fox and the Hound” could’ve been interesting if the writer had a little more faith in it. And “This Side of Parodies” was a terrible idea that shouldn’t have been in the book in the first place. The Dork Age continues, uninterrupted. [4/10]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 126

Sonic the Hedgehog: Issue 126
Publication Date: August 2003

When Knuckles died a while ago, Archie's “Sonic the Hedgehog” series sent the echidna on a wild trip through the afterlife. Or, at least, that's what was supposed to happen. Similarly, after Sonic “died” in issue 125, editorial decided to send the hedgehog on a similarly unexpected journey. The “Tossed in Space” story arc saw Sonic bouncing around bizarre alien planets, having adventures among extraterrestrials. This decision was not well received, many “Sonic” fans deciding explicit science fiction was a poor fit for the series. Well, this is Hedgehogs Can't Swim and I'll be the judge of that!

For as yet unexplained reasons, causing the Quantum Dial to collapse in on itself tossed Sonic across space. He awakens on the planet of the Blodex, psychic, insect-like aliens. Aliens that are currently at war with another insect like race, the Bzzzz. Sonic, being who he is, decides to help the underdog. When he grabs several red Chaos Emerald-like jewels that decorate the city, something unexpected happens. Super Sonic emerges... As a separate entity from Sonic. And he's kind of an asshole.

The sci-fi stuff seems especially poorly regarded by Sonic dorks. A lot of people considered the Xorda reveal trite. I guess several issues of similarly themed, alien-filled adventures weren't very exciting for those people. I, however, don't mind the Xorda. Moreover, I'm a fan of trippy, European sci-fi comics. “Tossed in Space” seemed like an opportunity to bring some energy like that to this book. Archie “Sonic” series has always been kind of weird anyway, after all. The series has been slightly directionless for a while. Maybe an experiment like this could've righted the ship?

“Red Chaos,” the first part of “Tossed in Space,” fulfills a little bit of that possibility. Steven Butler is no Moebius but the Blodex, Bzzzz, and their asteroid-like world is an interesting sight. I like the little amoeba like plants that decorate the surface and the insect-esque vehicles the Blodex travel in. However, the alien culture ends up being thinly developed. The Bzzzz are simply described as fascist shitheads, wiping out any race they feel is inferior. The Blodex don't even get that much development. They communicate telepathically, live in cities, and don't have space travel capabilities. That's all we learn about them.

Ultimately, “Red Chaos” is not about the Blodex or Bzzzz. The story is more about the “Sonic vs. Super Sonic” fight the cover promises. As a likely homage to DC's Red Kryptonite, the Red Chaos Emeralds split Sonic in two. The Super Sonic that emerges isn't as virtuous as our hero. Instead, he's an amoral asshole. He declares himself beyond good and evil, before deciding to destroy the moon for some reason. This, it turns out, is also a homage to another comic book. In the British “Sonic the Hedgehog” comics published by Fleetway, Super Sonic is not just a super-charged version of Sonic. Instead, he's a separate personality, power hungry, chaotic, and very dangerous. Introducing an equivalent to this Super Sonic is a random idea but a potentially interesting one. What will Sonic do, when forced with a more powerful, more unhinged version of himself?

Disappointingly, he does what he always does: Run real fast, crack corny jokes, and punch things.  The fight between Sonic and his chaotic neutral other half is real underwhelming. They tussle for a page and a half. Sonic tackles the gold version of himself, before receiving a series of blows to the face. Right when Super Sonic is preparing to deliver a killing blow, he fades out of existence. Turns out, he could only sustain himself for a short while. Which doesn't make for much of a climax. Instead of outwitting his foe, Sonic survives because of dumb luck. This Super Sonic would never return, probably because the comic already had an abundance of evil Sonic clones, but I sort of wish he could've been developed further.

The cover story is flawed but at least it had an interesting idea at its center. The back-up story, “Better Read Than Dead,” was never a good idea. The tale is set in the world of Off-Panel, the gag stripes that conclude nearly every issue of “Sonic.” These stripes function on the premise that Sonic and friends are just actors, interacting with the writers and editors of the book. In “Better Read Than Dead,” Sonic and editor Justin Gabrie comment on Off-Panel getting a back story to themselves. This conversation is interrupted by Deadline, a grim reaper-like spectre that reduces Sonic to a line drawing, threatens everyone, and then pitches a bunch of lame story ideas. Gabrie's super-duper editor powers is enough to defeat him.

“Better Read Than Dead” is best described as a pointless act of self-indulgent, auto-fellatio for editor Justin Gabrie. In this story, Sonic isn't the hero. The hedgehog we're all here to read about is sidelined early into the story. Instead, it's up to Gabrie to save the day. This kind of writer is even worst then when Ken Penders or Frank Strom introduce their pet heroes that are never wrong or challenged. At least Penders thought up Locke and the Brotherhood. At least Strom created Monkey Khan. Here, Mike Gallagher just drops Justin Gabrie himself into the story, making this a very literal bit of self-insert fiction. Gallagher either did this to flatter his boss or Gabrie insisted the idea go to print.

But maybe if “Better Read Than Dead” was funny, it wouldn't matter. The likes of Charlie Kaufman and Dan Harmon can get away with meta bullshit like this because they're clever and insightful. Gallagher's story, meanwhile, is mostly set up for some extremely lame jokes. The villain's name is a pun. He wields an hourglass called the “horror-glass.” He pitches extremely dumb story ideas, like Knuckles' dad being Elvis or Mammoth Mogul getting flees.

Gabrie defeats Deadline by calling on all the talented writers and artists who have worked on the book. Considering Archie has published things like “Sonic Live!,” the Image crossover, and the works of Many Hands, this conclusions comes off as pompous, if not delusional. (Hands, notably, is left out of the list of names.) It's likely “Better Read Than Dead” was created to defeat a real life deadline. And because this is a Mike Gallagher joint, it ends by asking the reader if they want to see more stories like this one. I suspect that question was met with a resounding “no” but we would get a few more extended Off-Panel stories anyway.

This is not the most promising start, is it? The cover story has potential and proceeds to waste most of it. The back-up story was just a bad idea. At least the artwork is pretty good. Butler does solid work as ever on the first story and even Dave Manak does alright during the Off-Panel thing. If only the script was up to that level. Once again, I must emphasize the patience of we Sonic fans. [5/10]