A Very Sonic Christmas

A Very Sonic Christmas

Original Release Date: December 11th, 2024

The last time I was reviewing some animated "Sonic the Hedgehog" media, the speedy hero and his friends were celebrating Halloween, the only good holiday. And every American boy and girl knows what season comes after the ghosts and ghouls are put away for another year. If you said Thanksgiving, you fell into my trap. As far as retail stores and marketing companies are concerned, Thanksgiving and all of November are mere blips on the radar on the way to consumerism's high holy day. Yeah, we are talking about the Christ Mass, the two thousand year old project to absorb various pagan winter festivals under the banner of "civilized" religion. Symbols like trees that remain green throughout the coldest and most frigid months, horned deities rising from the woods to reward the faithful and punish the wicked, worship of celestial bodies, and celebrating those we love and hold dear because we might freeze to death by next year have now lost their meaning even further. Instead of being about some guy from the Middle East that asked us to consider loving each other and redistributing wealth to the poor, these potent icons have now been thoroughly secularized in pursuit of the only true religion humanity has left: The hoarding of goods and resources, consumerism's hollow but relentless demand to always buy more, have more, need more. Ya see why I'd rather hang out with the skeletons and black cats?

But if Christmas is going to be meaningless and commercial, it should at least be weird and stupid too. The hybridizing of arcane symbols and corporate advertising has riddled the modern winter landscape with all sorts of oddities. The Yule Goat and Krampus have been replaced with far stranger modern figures. A green-furred thief, a dancing beagle, and diabetic polar bears are the friendly beasts of our modern yuletide. If there's any tradition of modern Christmas that I adore, it's weird seasonal specials and commercials that filter whatever iconography of the holiday they can exploit through their own temporary goals. This is how the Wacky Wall Crawlers and a home-intruding Michaelangelo have become reoccurring visitors during my personal winter celebrations. There's a tacky, surreal quality to these bygone bits of festive pop culture debris that I find endearing.

Because video games have been hot holiday gift items for many years now, we've had quite a few cross-breedings of wintery frivolity and various  interactive computer entertainment characters. Christmas came to Pac-Land in 1982 and Mario has been wearing a Santa Beard since at least 1989. All of which is to say that Sonic the Hedgehog is no stranger to the Christmas holiday. As I have chronicled multiple times in the past, there have been repeated attempts to associate Sega's fast blue hedgehog with the yearly December event. Robotnik has dressed up like Santa Claus and been visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve, while it has long been accepted that Sonic and friends look a-friggin'-dorable dressed up in wintery gear and dashing through the snow. We don't yet know what the hedgehog and his pals think of the Christ Child but the strictly secular version of the holiday seems to be a big favorite with them. 

At least in North America, the third "Sonic the Hedgehog" motion picture came out in theaters five days before December 25th. The movie itself had nothing to do with Christmas but "Sonic the Hedgehog 3's" proximity to the day led someone to a clever idea for an advertising tie-in. On the eleventh of the same month, Paramount Pictures uploaded a two minute long animated short to their various social media pages entitled "A Very Sonic Christmas." (There's at least four official uploads to YouTube and I'm sure it's also available on Instareel, FaceBake, TikCok, and X the Everything Website.) Some real money was out into this glorified commercial too. The "Sonic" screenwriter duo of Pat Casey and Josh Miller wrote it. All the big name celebrity voice actors reprised their roles and a spiffy, stop motion presentation brought the entire project to life. 

The story invokes "Sonic's Christmas Blast" a little too, though I don't know if that was deliberate so much as a parody of the exact same type of formulaic holiday special writing. In the bleak midwinter, Sonic is introducing Tails and Knuckles to all the earthly holiday traditions of Christmas. They put up a colorfully festooned tree, don their gay apparel, and leave out a treat for Jolly Ol' Saint Nicholas. Knuckles and Tails ask how the fat old elf can make his global trip in a single night. Presumably confirming the existence of Santa Claus as a factual canon in the movie-verse, Sonic uses a Warp Ring to pull the mythical figure right into the Wachowski's living room. This injures the jolly old elf's ankle, threatening the Christmas gift-giving spree. Luckily, a super-fast hero is right here, ready and willing to fill Santa's galoshes. One colorful montage later and Sonic has saved Christmas. 

Despite many of them being upwards of fifty years old at this point, the Rankin/Bass television specials like "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "A Year Without a Santa Claus" continue to run on TV every December. That means many people instantly associate the stodgy but charming stop-motion animation of these programs with the warm and fuzzy, nostalgic feelings they have for the holiday. Being such old, established parts of the December season with such a distinctive visual style also makes the Rankin/Bass specials an endless source of parody. Animator and filmmaker David H. Hess has come to specialize in riffing on this time-honored tradition. In 2005, he created an animated short in this style for "Saturday Night Live" entitled "Christmas Time for the Jews." Since then, he's directed a snarky hour long Christmas special starring Fred Savage, predictably grisly spoof "A Predator Holiday Special," and a stop-motion segment in a Captain Underpants Christmas installment. On the less ironic end of the spectrum, Hess has also made some similarly old-fashioned holiday fair starring Mickey Mouse. This extremely specific niche is one Hess seems happy to fill and he would do it again with "A Very Sonic Christmas." (He also worked on early YouTube hit "Dinosaur Office" and, uh, those annoying animations I used to see at Denny's at four o'clock in the morning, proving he doesn't only do Christmas stuff.) 

I don't think Hess' style looks that much like the old Rankin/Bass cartoons. The models are lankier with way bigger eyes and toothier months than the characters in "Jack Frost" or "The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold" or whatever. They represent a compromise between that style and the traditional live action "Sonic" movie designs. Quirks like giving Sonic a little strip of blue fur between his weird cyclops eye look good on the CGI models and a little awkward here. The result are models that mildly ugly, perhaps. Nevertheless, "A Very Sonic Christmas" does look cute and charming. It maintains the tactile quality that is, to me, the main ability of stop-motion animation. Santa – voiced by Adam Pally, so they didn't have to rope a new actor in or anything – looks cute, as goes the snow-covered back drop of a traditional “Sonic” level, with its loops and such. 

For something that runs exactly two minutes and seven seconds, “A Very Sonic Christmas” is entertaining. The ugly sweaters the trio wear are personalized to each of the characters: Sonic's has a chili dog on it, Knuckles has grapes, and Tails has a bi-plane. That was cute. Idris Elba's delivery of lines about Santana and Christmas being canceled made me chuckle. Ben Schwartz' take on Sonic are enthusiastic as ever. Shadow's cameo in the final minutes functions as a decent punchline, while reminding us that Shadow and Keanu Reeves are in this movie. Packed into a little over two minutes, when paired with the distinctive visual style, it makes for a clever and pleasant extended commercial. 

But “A Very Sonic Christmas” isn't only a two minute spot and quasi-short film. It's also a self-contained Christmas carol! Released concurrently with the little short was a song with the very similar title, “It's a Sonic Christmas,” credited to Ruwanga Samath. I don't know who that is by glancing at his Wikipedia page informs me he is a Sri Lanka-born music producer who seems to have mostly worked in making songs and incidental music for motion pictures. He worked on a Busta Rhymes' song for “Fast Five” and a bunch of songs for some Netflix things before this. As a holiday single, “It's a Sonic Christmas” is cute enough. It's catchy and jangly. I like the chant of “Go Sonic!/Go Tails!/Go Knuckles!” that makes up the chorus. Reminds me of a Shuki Levi theme song. We hear a bit of the song in the short but the entire version – which recaps the plot of the entire thing – is easily found. Will it find its way onto my Christmas playlist? Probably not, because I'm extremely picky about what Christmas music I deem tolerable. It will, however, find its way into my collection of songs with some connection to the “Sonic” franchise! 

As far as “Sonic” related Christmas specials go, I suppose “A Very Sonic Christmas” is the best. It's shorter and less embarrassing than “Sonic's Christmas Blast” and has more to do with the holiday than “Chao in Space,” which would otherwise win. I don't know if I liked it better than the holiday episode of “Sonic Mania Adventure” though. But it's cute. The amount of work put into essentially a longer commercial represents the kind of commitment to the bit that I can respect. I'm glad this thing and the corresponding song exists, even if I'm ultimately not sure it's worth the amount of words I've typed to talk about it. But that's true of everything! Merry Christmas to all – including those who celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, as a menorah and kinara are present in the background of this short – and to all a good night. [7/10]

Sonic Drone Home

Sonic Drone Home

Original Release Date: May 24th, 2022

For the Blu-Ray release of the first "Sonic the Hedgehog" movie, Paramount stuck a little short film on there that looks like it was probably animated in a week. "Around the World in 80 Seconds" was cute and inoffensive but, as far as bonus material goes, was no great contribution. This suggests to me the very low expectations the studio had for that first movie, no way of knowing that it would launch a burgeoning franchise. By the time the second "Sonic" movie hit disc, however, it was understood that these films could actually be big hits. The producers were well aware now of how passionate the "Hedgehog" fandom was... And how much money they could make by catering to them. When "Sonic 2" arrived on Blu-Ray, an entirely CGI short in the style of the movies was included. In other words, you were getting some actual extra "Sonic" content if you bought the movie on physical media. Marza Animation Planet, the "Night of the Werehog" studios, would produce and animate the six minute bonus film, further legitimizing the short in the eyes of hedgehog faithfuls. 

"Sonic Drone Home" sees Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles – clearly setting this after the second movie – running a little errand for their earthly foster parents. They have set off to return some books to the library for Maddie. They take a short-cut through a junk yard and come across an unexpected sight: One of Robotnik's egg-shaped Badnik drones has cobbled together a body from the scrap laying around the junk yard. The machine, which can talk for some reason, declares its intention to continue the objective its creator gave it. Try to take over the world! Sonic and the gang can't have that and a battle ensues. However, it turns out this "TrashBot" isn't such a bad guy after all...

Almost every time the topic comes up, I've bemoaned my frustration with the "Sonic" cinematic universe insisting on being a partially live action affair. Every movie and TV show has to include some tedious subplot about Sonic's adoptive human family. Rumors persist that there are actual fans of the Wachowskis and Wade Whipple out there but I refuse to believe it. Nobody is going to see these movies for the antics of a mad black woman being robbed of her dream wedding. James Marsden stans must exist, I guess, but are their numbers great enough to sway the box office in any meaningful way? The "Sonic the Hedgehog" movies should have been entirely animated and I will go to my grave believing this. I know why Paramount and the ten thousand associated production companies went this route. For whatever reason, a lot of adults outright refuse to go see cartoons in theaters, which is why those live action Disney remakes always make a billion dollars despite nobody actually liking them. But I know I'm right. It is a moral conviction deep within my soul. 

"Sonic Drone Home" is set within the continuity of the live action movies but is entirely animated. The environments are realistic, the physics resemble the real world, but it was all done in a computer. Meaning the short film gives us an idea of what an entirely animated version of these movies might look like. And, uh, it looks like a gunmetal video game. I would hope that a wholly animated "Sonic" flick would go nuts with the colors or some "Spider-Verse" style abstractions. "Sonic Drone Home" is meant to connect to the movies though, so everything looks like the real world. Honestly, really young viewers might not even pick up on everything being CGI, assuming the environments or props are real, like in the movies. Either way, "Drone Home" does give us some idea of what, say, a fully digital streaming or TV spin-off to the "Sonic"-CU could possibly look like. 

And it looks good! It doesn't look as good as the movies, as you'd expect from a DVD bonus feature produced for much less money than a feature film. The environments are convincing. Sometimes, when focusing on their teethy faces, Sonic or Knuckles look a little weird. However, the action scenes are very fast paced. A shot where Sonic speeds through a tunnel of junk, while lasers blast around him, is definitely the coolest moment in these six minutes. The adversarial robot isn't the most creative design. The way it blends a crane with a small car is probably what you'd see in your mind when someone writes the words "junk yard robot." I do like the red visor on the Egg Drone become an eye though. As the short reaches its conclusion, we get more shots of Sonic spin-dashing through the air which don't look that sharp. Mostly though, it's fine. Marza knows what they are doing. 

As the "Sonic the Hedgehog" movies have evolved, the focus on action has definitely increased. The latest installment goes full shonen fighting anime at the end. However, I think humor is still seen as the primary objective of this franchise. If these movies came out during the days of video stores – and they weren't places in the "Family" or Kids section for some reason – I imagine they'd probably be placed in "Comedy" before "Action." This approach is evident in "Sonic Drone Home." The short does not end with an epic battle between good and mildly annoying evil. Instead, a bolo'd Sonic implores TrashBot to define himself outside of the programming Robotnik has given him. Turns out, this cobbled together contraption considers itself a poet. That evolves in a subverted direction – his poetry is bad and he still sees it as a means to world dominance – but it definitely feels more "Looney Tunes" than "Dragon Ball." 

As in the motion pictures, another main source of humor here is Ben Schwartz's version of Sonic being a pop culture obsessed snarker and bantering with Tails and Knuckles. Early in the short, the blue hedgehog breaks the fourth wall and narrates directly to the audience. Tails' notices this and asks what's up, Sonic explaining that's what people in movies do. Which suggest a certain degree of self-awareness about, ya know, being a fictional character, proudly continuing a trend started by "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog" and continued by "Sonic Boom." The gag truly pays off when Knuckles decides to speak his own inner monologue, which run counter to everything Sonic wants him to do. (Also, Tails' line about "just being happy to be included" made me chuckle. That's such a Tails thing to say!) I also like the gag of Knuckles considering Maddie's library books "sacred tomes" that must be protected. Haha, his strict warrior code of honor is so out of step with the modern world! What a delight! 

However, the second Knuckles opens his mouth, you probably notice something about "Sonic Drone Home." The echidna sure doesn't sound right. The money people were willing to cut Idris Elba a big enough check to get him to add his voice to "The Wade Whipple Show." However, a six minute bonus feature was deemed too unimportant to give a big movie star like Elba enough money to warrant him standing in a recording booth for a few minutes. Honestly, that is not especially surprising. If a "Sonic's Green Hills Hijinks" or whatever started airing on Nickelodeon tomorrow, I wouldn't expect Elba to voice Knuckles there either. The part is passed on to prolific voice actor Fred Tatasciore. Tatasciore has played many growling monsters and big beefy dudes, probably best known as the go-to voice for the Hulk in a lot of Marvel cartoons for years now. Which makes him a logical enough choice to play Knuckles, especially the honor-obsessed cinematic version. 

However, Tatasciore doesn't truly attempt to imitate Elba's particular accent. The result is distracting, something more akin to a generic tough guy voice coming out of Knuckles' mouth. While Elba not participating in "Sonic Drone Home" makes sense, Colleen O'Shaughnessy was also passed over for the part of Tails. O'Shaughnessy is no Hollywood A-lister, a humble voice actor herself, making her absence much harder to explain. Was she busy with something else? Did the money people try to low-ball her? Is she even aware of this short? Whatever the reason, Alicyn Packard voices Tails instead. Packard does a passable impersonation of O'Shaughnessy, taking me a minute to realize it wasn't her. Ben Schwartz, however, definitely is voicing Sonic here, clearly willing to participate in whatever bit of ancillary marketing Paramount needs him to do. Movie Sonic sounding like Movie Sonic always has makes Movie Knuckles and Movie Tails noticeably sounding different all the more off-putting. I would like to think I'd be above such minor aesthetic changes as these but it truly did hamper my enjoyment of "Drone Home."

Maybe two of the four principal characters sounding wrong is more noticeable because, otherwise, "Sonic Drone Home" is right in line with the tone and delivery of the movies. The script is from the same duo that has written all the films, Patrick Casey and Josh "Worm" Miller. Yes, the esteemed writers of "National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze," "Hey, Stop Stabbing Me!," "Gamebox 1.0," "Transylmania," "Golan the Insatiable," and – their most important prior credit – the Monstergeddon series on SomethingAwful.com have truly redefined themselves as the "Sonic" guys. This is probably why Sonic is making pop culture references and the robot wants to write crappy poetry, a predecessor to ChatGPT's feeble attempts to replicate human creativity. The short is, thus far, the sole directorial credit of David Nelson. Most of his credits are as a visual effects supervisor – aside from the "Sonic" movies, he's worked on "Aquaman," "Fury Road," "Jumanji," and the "Happy Feet" duo – which does further the feeling that this short was a quickly assembled effort. He makes sure the film mostly looks fine though. 

At the end of the six minutes it took me to watch "Sonic Drone Home," what was my main take away? I kind of like TrashBot. The squares over at the Sonic Wiki insist the character is called "Unit." IMDb refers to it as just "Drone." Knuckles calls him as "TrashBot" at the end, so that's what I'm going with. Aaron Landon – mostly known for video game and audiobook credits – gives the machine a fitting nerdy voice. That the robot is pulled between wanting to conquer the world and chase the creative spirit in his mechanical heart is a good gag. At the end, Tails asks if he can adopt the robot, suggesting the character could appear again. Maybe he could be Movie Tails' equivalent to TailsPup or something. Not that I expect anyone but the most hardcore fans to remember this short exists but it's a cute idea. 

Granted, I don't know why Robotnik would program this one drone to have freedom of choice and individuality. The rest of his Egg Drones and Badniks clearly do not have that. But we might be reaching the point where I'm thinking too hard about this. As far as a six minute bonus feature goes, "Sonic Drone Home" is perfectly serviceable and amusing enough for the little amount of time you're asked to invest in it. That I actually kind of want to see TrashBot come back suggests the writers punched above their weight class a bit. Next time Paramount does one of these, they should really make sure Knuckles and Tails sound right though... [7/10]

REVIEW: Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024)

I was fourteen years old when “Sonic Adventure 2” came out. This means I was right in the target demographic to find Shadow the Hedgehog appealing. In retrospect, it's tricky to overlook how calculated a character Shadow was. The “Sonic the Hedgehog” fandom was already full of original characters that were barely anymore than different colored versions of Sonic. This was an official character with almost the exact same gimmick... Except he was also an edgy antihero with a tragic backstory and a plethora of superpowers. In other words, Shadow the Hedgehog felt a lot like a cheesy original character except he was one hundred percent official. Ashamedly, this strategy worked exactly as planned. Shadow immediately became the second most popular character in the franchise, launching a hundred other O.C.s. When Sega gave him his own game, allowing him to shoot a gun and ride around on a motorcycle, it almost felt like self-parody. 

I wasn't above being caught by this. I too loved Shadow when he first debuted. However, at some point, I woke up to the blatant corporate manipulation at play here and turned on the character. However, Shadow has now been an established part of the “Sonic” universe for over two decades. I've long since made my peace with the character. I would go so far as to call myself a fan of Shadow the Hedgehog, when he's written well. However, how would the character be integrated into the cinematic “Sonic the Hedgehog” universe? That was the question on my mind as I sat down to watch “Sonic the Hedgehog 3,” somehow the third big budget theatrical adaptation of the beloved series. The latest sequel, and Shadow's much-hyped debut, has been well received by fans. What would I, an ever-shrewd old man, think of this?

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles' peaceful lives with the Wachowski is interrupted again when G.U.N. specifically recruits the furry alien heroes. A black hedgehog from the same world as Sonic, but far more powerful, is on a rampage in Tokyo. Kept on ice by G.U.N. for fifty years, this Shadow has a grudge against the organization. He proves too powerful for Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles to defeat on their own. This leads them to forming an uneasy alliance with their greatest enemy, Dr. Robotnik. The new team soon are led to the secret base of Dr. Gerald Robotnik, the villain's grandfather and the scientist who studied Shadow fifty years ago. He recruits his grandson and Shadow into a plot to activate the Eclipse Cannon, a planet killing weapon he designed. Sonic races to stop villains new and old, the fight quickly getting personal. 

To utilize the inevitable pun, “Sonic the Hedgehog 3's” script hits the ground running. Within the opening minutes, we are being presented with Shadow's back story. Not long after that, Sonic and his friends are already dueling against the new threat. By the half-way point, we've already had alliance switches and betrayals and dramatic revelations, heroes teaming up with villains, villains teaming up with villains, and then breaking apart again. The movie breathlessly races from one plot point, and accompanying set piece, to the next. MacGuffins come and go, heroes chasing after access cards and the Master Emerald. The script looks like it's going to shove in the “Sonic Adventure 2” plot point of G.U.N. chasing Sonic before going in a wholly different direction, which then set-up dramatic heist and confrontations between the good guys. “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” rarely slows down, trying to squeeze as much into its 110 minute run time as possible. I guess this is what happens when you're attempting to tell a blockbuster worthy script but keep it within the runtime restraints of a traditional kid's flick.

Part of why “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” feels stuffed to the brims has to do with a problem that is often encountered in this franchise: There's a lot of characters here. In the returning column, we have Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Tom Wachowski, Maddie, Robotnik, Agent Stone, plus the Olive Garden guy and cameos for Wade Whipple, Maddie's sister, and the undercover G.U.N. Agent she nearly married in the last movie. To this already considerable cast, the film adds Shadow, Gerald Robotnik, Maria via the power of flashbacks, and Krysten Ritter as a new antagonistic G.U.N. commander. If the studio is going to pay recognizable actors like James Marsden and Ritter to be in the movie, it better give them things to do too. All of this must co-exist alongside the story of Shadow and Maria that the fans are truly here to see, as well as new additions these adaptations always feel the need to make. 

Part of why Hollywood struggled so long to adapt video games is because of the wildly different structural needs of both mediums. This has mostly been resolved by movies and games becoming a lot more like each other. The first two “Sonic” movies mostly invented their own narratives, drawing from the extensive back stories of the games, which probably was the best approach to take. “Sonic 3,” meanwhile, is the first movie to truly be adapted one of the game's plots, directly pulling a lot of ideas from “Sonic Adventure 2.” That doesn't mean only Shadow's backstory, as I expected. In the middle section of the film, both the good guys and villains seek access cards, the kind of fetch quest you'd fully expect from a video game. The sequel goes so far as to include the gravity switching gimmick that was so prominent in “Adventure 2's” later levels. One gets the impression that this is the movie Jeff Fowler and his team have really been wanting to make all along, rather than grafting bits and pieces of established “Sonic” elements on traditional kid movie set-ups. 

Fidelity to the source material is a lot less important to me than honoring the characters as we know them. The “Sonic” cinematic universe has increasingly revolved around the idea of family. Sonic finding his new family with the Wachowski defined the first movie, while the second was about him learning responsibility when faced with a sidekick that looked up to him and an equally powerful rival. Family continues to be a heavily touted theme, the script emphasizing Sonic's connection to Tom and how it compares to Shadow being treated his whole life as a science experiment. Robotnik ends up aligning with Gerald largely because his similar want for a bloodline. However, that is secondary to the theme the movie flatly states again and again: “Making good decisions,” as Tom puts it, especially when the world constantly tries to break your heart with its overwhelming awfulness. In other words: Shadow and Sonic both have great power but only one of them has learned great responsibility from a father figure. 

While this is the kind of easily grasped themes and ideas you'd expect from a kid's movie, repeated enough times for the little ones to pick up on it, I do think “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” actually pays proper tribute to its emotional center. The sequel is seriously invested in Shadow the Hedgehog, particularly how the loss of Maria weighs on him. A surprising amount of time is devoted to establishing Shadow and Maria's relationship, via lengthy flashbacks. Though hassled with the franchise's continued obvious soundtrack picks – why is a scene in the seventies featuring a Traveling Wilburies song? – these moments are genuinely adorable. When Maria is inevitably killed, the pain Shadow feels is sincere. As sarcastic as these films get, the emotional stakes remain one hundred percent serious. I didn't expect a “Sonic the Hedgehog” movie to feature a touching depiction of overcoming grief and learning to live beyond that heartache but here we are. 

When it was announced Keanu Reeves was cast as the voice of Shadow the Hedgehog, people got excited. This struck me as a little odd. I know Keanu is a beloved pop culture icon these days and I love the guy too. He's not truly a voice actor though, “Toy Story 4” aside. Much like Idris Elba as Knuckles, I can definitely feel some of that awkwardness coming through Reeves' performance. However, Keanu manages to find the heart of the character before the film is over. Ben Schwartz' take on Sonic is well established by now, the actor even getting a chance to stretch his dramatic legs a bit in this installment. I do wish Elba as Knuckles and Colleen O'Shaughnessey weren't increasingly sidelined by the story though, another side effect of the film having so many characters in it.

Following “Sonic the Hedgehog 2,” Jim Carrey announced his retirement and the character's fate in that film seemed potentially final, should the star really not come back. Well, Carrey loves money enough to return for part three, as both Robotnik and his grandfather. This means we get a double-dose of Carrey's manic comedy. The make-up effects that transform him into the 100 year old Gerald are good. In general, the illusion of one actor playing two characters that often interact is pulled off successfully. While Carrey's clownery is amusing, there are multiple moments when his buffoonery becomes difficult to sanction. A dance sequence among security laser or the increasingly nutty finale feel like moments when the star's chaotic energy take over the movie, to its detriment. Robotnik also gets a genuine character arc and I'm not sure Carrey is able to pull it off in-between all his extended mugging. 

Another reason “Sonic 3” feels a little overstuffed is because it has to make room for its human co-stars. Tom and Maddie get a sequence devoted to themselves, in which they sneak into a G.U.N. building in London. It is an inessential sequence, to say the least. Ritter, a decent actress, is given very little to work with as Rockwell. She's simply another obstacle for the heroes to run around. In general, the tension between what the fans most want to see – Sonic and his friends doing stuff – and the need for these films to be live action family-friendly comedy continue to make these unsteady affairs. Except for Lee Majdoub's agent Stone, whose role as Robotnik's loyal sidekick has expanded naturally into a full-on homoerotic will-they-or-won't-they? Majdoub and Carrey's banter continues to be a highlight of these movies.

My continued suspicion that these films would be a lot better if they were entirely animated is furthered by the last act. That's when “Sonic 3” becomes a colorfully directed action flick, the CGI hedgehogs blasting around the world and into outer space with enough verve to outclass some recent, bigger budget superhero flicks. The film also makes sure to get a prominent song on the soundtrack, once again suggesting that Fowler knew exactly what kind of fan service he had to include. I have a lot less investment in “Sonic Adventure 2's” plot than most but it was nice to see a “Sonic” movie truly push the limits of what its hero can do on-screen.

That evident desire to give people exactly what they want continues into the inevitable sequel baiting mid-credits scene. The “Sonic the Hedgehog” movies continue to exist in a bizarre space between special effects driven spectacles and goofy kid movies full of wacky comedy. The compromise agreed upon to make these movies possible continue to stick out badly. If I had seen this during the peak of my teenage Shadow fever, I probably would have loved it. “Sonic the hedgehog 3” feels like a movie primarily made for those people. The older I get, the more ambivalence I have towards franchises existing primarily to appease fans and activate nostalgia-driven dopamine rushes... From a simple factor of loyalty to the source material and on-screen flash, “Sonic 3” is easily the best entry in the series. How I'll feel about it in the future remains to be seen. But at least it beat the "Lion King" prequel at the box office... [7/10]

REVIEW: Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Despite my best efforts to keep my expectations measured, I went into “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” hyped. The first movie was for the normies. It was the safe kids movie designed to gently nudge people into the full-blown weirdness that is the “Sonic” franchise. From the moment the second movie confirmed that Tails and Knuckles would be costarring alongside Sonic, I got the feeling that the sequel would be focusing more on the shit we care about and less on Sonic’s cop friend debating his future career opportunities. In retrospect, I probably — definitely — expected too much from this sequel. “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” isn’t that movie but it is still a reasonably entertaining children’s film. 

Since the end of the first film, Sonic has continued to live in Green Hills, Montana. At night, he sneaks out and uses his super speed to fight crime, to mixed results. After being left alone at home, while Tom and Maddie are on vacation, Sonic gets a real chance to test his mettle. Dr. Robotnik has returned, escaping the mushroom world he was stranded on last time. And he has a partner. Knuckles the Echidna is a proud warrior with the same sort of powers as Sonic, determined to settle a centuries old rivalry between tribes. When Tails — a young fox also from Sonic’s world — arrives, a race is soon on. Robotnik is after the Master Emerald, a legendary relic that can grant incredible powers to whoever wields it. Sonic and Tails want to make sure he doesn’t succeed, soon pulling the gullible Knuckles along with them. 

As I have said before, a movie with Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles in it is something I’ve been dreaming about almost literally my entire life. This means “Sonic 2” put me in a weird place as an analytical movie fan. Throughout this motion picture, I had to repeatedly remind myself that this movie isn’t for me. This isn’t the “Sonic” I would write. This is a breezy flick for kids to enjoy and their parents not to be too annoyed by. There are fart jokes. There are easily understood pop culture references, via Ben Schwartz’ constantly quipping Sonic. There is an extended dance number set to a top twenty pop hit, a sequence that felt especially gratuitous to me. These are not things I, personally, want to see in a “Sonic” movie. I don’t necessarily hate their inclusion. Schwartz is funny and the dance scene has a couple laughs. But moments such as these definitely had me second-guessing whether I was having a really good time or not, 

Then again, “Sonic 2” shouldn’t be measured against the half-mad imaginings of a life-long “Sonic” nerd. This is both a video game adaptation and a kids’ flick about a cuddly, sarcastic CGI animal. By those metrics, “Sonic 2” succeeds by just being fairly narratively coherent and having actual character arcs for its protagonist. In the first movie, Sonic was just trying to find his place in this mixed-up, crazy world, learning along the way that his friends are who he fights for. In the sequel, the hedgehog is learning to be a superhero responsibility. The opening, mad cap chase scene, where Sonic foils a high speed pursuit, wrecks as much chaos as it mends. All throughout the film, Sonic is waiting for the moment to prove himself. Considering the cinematic Sonic is more of an impulsive kid than any other version, this is a strong arc to graft to him. 

The first film mined a lot of cuteness, and even something like pathos, out of Movie Sonic’s status as a lonely kid. The sequel expands on that some. Sonic’s not so lonely now, as he’s got a home, surrogate dad and mom, and even a suitably cute dog. Yet he’s still in search of some peers his own age, other cartoon animals he can relate to. Naturally, Tails and Knuckles provide just that. The sequel provides the inevitable cheer moment, when the Sega-created trio stand together as heroes. And, yeah, I internally cheered for that too. Yet the scenes of Sonic acting as a mentor to Tails or a friend to Knuckles are almost more satisfying. Our little blue son is growing up and watching that happen is pretty sweet.

And what of those beloved “Sonic” cast members that are now movie stars? How does the film handle Miles “Tails” Prower? Pretty well, I’m happy to say. His backstory is different, owing to the changes the movies have made to established “Sonic” lore. His personality is intact though. Tails is still the flying, boy genius able to invent almost anything the ridiculous plot requires. Despite his superhuman skills, he still doesn’t believe in himself much and looks up to Sonic as a big brother figure. The two CGI critters have an amusing chemistry together and it leads to more than one simply adorable moment. With regular Tails voiceover actress Colleen O'Shaughnessey returning to the role, it really does feel like Tails stepped right out of the cartoon or games. 

Knuckles, meanwhile, got the celebrity voiceover upgrade, with Idris Elba playing the echidna. Elba mostly does a decent job, though he sounds a little bored or out-of-his-element sometimes. I was writing recently about how Knuckles' personality has evolved over the years. The movie strikes a balance between the gruff brawler of the earlier games and his more recent status as simple-minded comic relief. He's still a physical rival to Sonic, imbued with similar (and still unexplained) powers to the movie-verse's hedgehog. He's also pretty gullible, which the screenwriters have turned into an overly literal mindset that reminded me a lot of Dave Bautista's Drax the Destroyer. Like that Marvel superhero, Knuckles is a proud warrior guy hyper-focused on his goal that eventually is accepted into the hero's improvised family. It's a transition that happens perhaps a little too quickly, over the course of about two scenes, but I was mostly pretty satisfied with how Knuckles was handled. 

Different as their backstories may be, I think "Sonic 2" mostly does right by its characters. The biggest issue facing the "Sonic" sequel, and maybe the entire film series going forward, is one of tonal identity. The first movie fit comfortably into the "live-action kids comedy starring a CGI cartoon character" genre, albeit with bigger action set-pieces and more callbacks to the source material. The second film is torn between this tone, heavy on the comedy and superfluous subplots starring fleshy humans, and something more akin to the aforementioned Marvel movies. "Sonic 2" devising its own mythology, separate from the games and comics. (And quite different, in a way that didn't entirely sit well with the pedantic nerd side of me.) The film's backstory is full of eons-old rivalries between warring factions, trying to control a massive source of power that change the nature of reality. We even get a fairly epic exposition dump, brought to life through stunning traditional animation. As "Sonic 2" goes on, the stakes get higher... Yet the film still seems reluctant to leave its small town setting behind, making sure the world-endangering theatrics never feel too severe. At some point, the people who make these movies are going to have to decide if "Sonic" is a goofy comedy, akin to "Alvin and the Chipmunks" or "The Smurfs," or if they're Paramount's attempt to forge their own universe of epic superhero movies. 

This uncomfortable divide is most apparent in the role the film's live action cast plays. James Marsden's Tom is ported off to Hawaii for most of the movie, which you would think would be an excuse to remove this largely superfluous character from a story that doesn't need him. But you don't pay a sort-of movie star like Marsden the big bucks and not use him. So Tom and his wife Maddie weave their way back into the story eventually. Okay, I guess it's possible someone out there was invested in the trials and tribulations of Doughnut Lord and Pretzel Lady. This doesn't explain why a lengthy chunk of the movie, halfway into its two hour run time, is devoted to Maddie's sister being angry at her fiancée and going on a BrideZilla rampage. It's agonizing, as if “Sonic 2” randomly switched reels with “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” for several minutes. Why is precious screen time devoted to the comic relief antics of a boisterous bride? 

This is not the only unnecessary, and frankly annoying, digression involving the live action cast. Tom's dim-witted deputy Wade gets far too much screen time, another symptom of the sequel's refusal to expand pass Green Hills for too long. But one cast member at least does the extra leg-work. Jim Carrey, sporting Robotnik's traditional bald head and giant mustache this time, hams it up to his usually extreme levels. While you can debate how accurate a Robotnik that makes him, it's absolutely entertaining to watch. Carrey makes sure there's never much of a wait between funny moments, stretching and contorting his face and body in a gloriously ridiculous fashion. My favorite moments is when he mimes playing his leg as a guitar or his liberal application of the phrase “hater.” The movie also smartly brings Lee Majdoub back as Agent Stone, Robotnik's loyal henchman. He has several cute scenes with Carrey that will make the shippers loose their minds. 

A lot of the complaints I've had here won't matter to most people. For the most part, “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” is an entertaining mixture of humor and action sequences. I still don't know if Jeff Fowler has much of a visual eye as a director, as most of the movie is pretty pedestrian looking. However, he is good at engineering a decent action scene. A snowboarding sequence down a mountain side escalates nicely. When Sonic and Knuckles finally fight it out, it's a well done confrontation. One of my favorite scenes in the film has Sonic overcoming his fear of water. (Yes, it's canon that this version of the hedgehog can't swim either. I knew you'd all be disappointed if I didn't mention that.) The last act definitely sets out to top the original's finale, in terms of special effects and collateral damage, and I would say it succeeds.

Ultimately, “Sonic 2” is at its best when skillfully integrating elements from the original games into its silly plot. An extended set piece in the second half directly references the most difficult stage from the original game, with explicit shout-outs to many of the level's elements. I really enjoyed that. Of course, it's far from the only shout-out in the movie. The game mechanic of Sonic loosing his rings when injured is amusingly recreated here. The “Sanic” homage in the first movie is joined here by a number of other in-jokes for the memers in the audience. I'm trying very hard not to include any spoilers here so I'll just say the climax included some appearances from “Sonic” characters and conventions that I expected but at least two that caught me off-guard.

In my first write-up on the “Sonic 2” trailer, I said that the lowered expectations from that abysmal first trailer actually worked in the first movie's favor. We all expected it to be bad and, when it turned out to be decent, it was a pleasant surprise. The sequel has the exact opposite problem: We liked the first one, the sequel's trailers were all great, so I was actually excited for part two. Inevitably, this caused me to come away from the movie a little disappointed. Which isn't to say I didn't like it. It's a fun movie and mostly well-assembled. The “Sonic” franchise is set to continue, which this film's closing minutes eagerly sets up. I'll probably dig it more on a second viewing but, for now, I'm genuinely not sure if I liked it slightly more than the first or slightly less. I guess I should probably just be grateful that a movie starring Tails the Fox and Knuckles the Echidna exists at all. But, obviously, a nitpicking nerd like me can't help my contrary nature. “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” gets a mildly disappointed [7/10].

REVIEW: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

In retrospect, maybe fans had too many expectations riding on a “Sonic the Hedgehog” movie. When the initial trailer, with its disturbingly toothy version of Sonic, first debuted last year, the fandom – me included – sure had a lot of incredibly negative things to say. The tidal of press was so bad, that Paramount pushed back the release date, cracked the whips on the animation team (and subsequently putting the special effects firm out of business) and gave Sonic a more faithful redesign. When the new Sonic was revealed, the tide completely turned on the movie. Fans suddenly became extremely excited.

In fact, that one trailer turned seemingly the entire fandom around on the “Sonic” movie. People became genuinely excited about this movie. That wave of positive buzz continued as the film's Valentine Day release arrived. While mainstream film critics have been less receptive, “Sonic” fans have greeted the movie with open arms.

I, however, am ever the skeptic. They redesigned Sonic, sure, and he looked great. A design team, that included Tyson Hesse, made sure of that. But they didn't rewrite the entire movie. The adaptation still carried a totally lame kid's movie premise, of Sonic paling around on Earth with some boring asshole. The film still looked like it had more in common with “Alvin and the Chipmunks” or “The Smurfs” than the “Sonic” media I've been writing about here for years. Having seen the movie now, I can confirm that this was a fairly accurate assumption. “Sonic the Hedgehog” is a typical kid's movie in many ways. But, I'm also here to say as someone who cares way too much about this franchise, that's not necessarily a bad thing either.

From a plot perspective, the “Sonic” movie barely resembles any previous incarnation of the character's story. Born with super speed and electric powers, Sonic the Hedgehog had to flee his home world as a child after being pursued by other forces, via portal-generating magic rings. He's spent his whole life living on Earth, hanging out in the woods around the small town of Green Hills, Montana. He's developed an admiration for the town's mayor, Tom Wachowski. Tom and his wife are about to move to San Francisco. Sonic feels so lonely that he accidentally generates an electric pulse, attracting the attention of the government. They send mad scientist and drone specialist Dr. Ivo Robotnik to track down the responsible party. After Sonic's magic rings accidentally get transported to San Francisco, Sonic and Tom have to go on a road trip together. Robotnik, growing increasingly unhinged, pursues them.

Speaking as a man who has spent far too much of his life thinking about Sonic the Hedgehog, what was my initial reaction to the cinematic adaptation? “That was cute.” Indeed, “Sonic the Hedgehog,” both the character and the film, is reasonably adorable. And I'm not just talking about how he looks. This version of Sonic is very different from previous incarnations. He's essentially a great big kid. His super-speed is paired with the kind of energy only a small child riding a serious sugar high can compare to. He loves life, sometimes to the point of obliviousness when he's annoying people, and wants to experiences as much of it as possible. What keeps this boundless enthusiasm from being excessively irritating is the melancholy quality its paired with. This Sonic is also really lonely, which adds a new dimension to Sega's super-fast mascot. We are use to seeing Sonic run fast, fight bad guys, and deliver one-liners. Seeing him regard his own emptiness is something new and I applaud that.

It is true that loving a small town, staying put in one location for a long time, having few friends, and traveling via sports utility vehicle is pretty antithetical to Sonic as we know him. A big factor pasting over these differences is Ben Schwartz' vocal performance. Schwartz makes this Sonic way more likable than he probably would've been otherwise. His energetic delivery makes even Sonic's dumber lines – random references to Vin Diesel or ride-sharing – reasonably amusing. He gets a lot of credit for the movie's various laughs, his delivery turning wooden lines into solid chucklers. Schwartz is clearly having a blast in the part and that sheer joy goes a long way.

I'll admit, just seeing Sonic on a real movie screen – hearing the words “Robotnik” and “Power Rings” spoken by actual actors – was a truly gratifying feelings. But I'm not blind to the facts about Paramount's “Sonic the Hedgehog.” This is very much a typical kid's movie. It even starts with a “You're probably wondering how I got here” moment, a cliché so hoary I thought it was totally discredited. There's a deeply out-of-place fart joke. There's also some truly baffling product placement from Zillow, Olive Garden, and Lenscrafter. Most of the scenes focusing on Tom Wachowski, especially those concerning his job, could not be more perfunctory. James Marsden, almost reprising his role from “Hop,” gives a competent but totally passionless performance. The road trip plot structure, as others have pointed out, recalls several other films about CGI animals hanging out with normal people. This is, in many ways, exactly the kind of middle-brow studio product I was totally ready to consume when the “Sonic” movie was first announced.

However, “Sonic the Hedgehog” also has plenty of elements in its favor. Famously skinny Jim Carrey playing the typically egg-shaped Dr. Robotnik wasn't exactly spot-on casting. Carrey, as you'd expect, brings a typical level of rubber-faced manic energy to the part. That, however, has value too. Watching Carrey mug it up is fun. Such as an impromptu dance number in his laboratory or the various over-sized reactions the film's outrageous scenario provides him with. Yet the movie doesn't stray as far from canon Robotnik as I expected. This Ivo still prides himself on his intelligence and sees the rest of the world as inferior to him. Sonic and Tom challenging his superiority infuriates him. (The movie even gives him a groveling sidekick, in the tradition of Snively and Grimer, played by the amusingly deadpan Lee Majdoub.) The movie adds back story about being an orphan and being bullied in high school, which works pretty well. Carrey's Robotnik is different but, ya know, I do like it.

From early on, I declared that an ideal “Sonic” would probably have to be animated. It seems to me that the film's producers kind of agree. Director Jeff Fowler's only previous credit is an animated short film called “Gopher Broke.” One of the film's best moments is entirely animated. That would be a lengthy prologue, set on Sonic's home world. (The movie doesn't use the word “Mobius” but what else are we suppose to call it?) Here, we meet Baby Sonic – a clear attempt to cash in the sudden fad of baby characters – and his guardian, a giant owl named Longclaw. (Apparently inspired by a minor character from the obscure British “Sonic” kid's books.) The sequence lovingly recreates the checkered landscapes and giant loops of the original Genesis game. In a move that truly delighted me, there's even an appearance from a clan of tribal echidnas. If the entire movie had been like this, I'm certain I would have loved it even more. For the record, Fowler's direction adds some flair to the action sequences but is generally pretty flat.

The unexpected appearance of the Knuckles Clan is not the only shout-out to the deeper “Sonic” lore contained within the film. In fact, the movie includes a number of references I was happy to catch. Sonic says he's gotta go fast, refers to himself as the Blue Blur and his archenemy as Eggman, and declares something no good. He strikes poses right out of the “Sonic Adventure” disc art. Sanic is glimpsed. The famous rings sound effect chimes. Sonic eats a chili dog. The word “Badnik” appears on-screen. A familiar melody is heard in the score. Sonic wins the day by launching himself repeatedly at Robotnik's hovercraft, which vaguely resembles the Egg-Mobile. Some of these possible homages are so deep, they might very well be coincidental. Yes, Movie Sonic has a race car bed. Is this an intentional nod to the Archie comics series? If so, did someone involved in this film read my tongue-in-cheek essay about said vehicle-shaped sleeping surface? That's a possibility I can't even begin to entertain, least I die of absolute joy.

It is pretty clear that 2020's “Sonic the Hedgehog” was made by fans of the franchise. Yet the film has an uncertain relationship with one element of the series, that even Sega itself tends to forget about. Sonic the Hedgehog, as we all know, is a socialist hero and an icon of environmental activism. As you probably guessed, this goofy kid's movie doesn't really address either issue. (I'm not the only person to notice this.) If you squint, you can kind of see it. Yes, Movie Sonic is on the run from the government. Robotnik's drones were apparent active in the Middle East, which raises a number of hilariously dark implications. Yet the co-lead is also a cop operating out of a speed trap, so I don't think I can credit the film for a proper anti-authoritarian subtext. Maybe in the sequel.

Yes, a sequel. In this age of franchise over-saturation, every studio flick wants to spawn a series and most of them are hopelessly overeager in that regard. As I expected from the first trailer, “Sonic” basically acts as the origin story for the version of Sonic and Robotnik we are most familiar with. The latter, especially, undergoes a drastic transformation before the end. Without getting too spoiler-y, another beloved “Sonic” cast member appears in a mid-credits teaser. I have lots of thoughts about a potential sequel but I'll just say this: I hope a follow-up – which seems totally plausible, considering the movie's surprise box office success – shows us more of Sonic's world and less of Earth. If a sequel follows that lead, I'm absolutely certain it'll be superior to this first film.

Which, I want to reiterate, I enjoyed immensely. I've now seen it twice and I had a great time on both viewings. Is this the “Sonic” movie I would have written? Absolutely not. Does it have the potential to launch a “Sonic” film franchise I could love? Yeah, I think it might. Would I like the movie as much as I do if it was about some other nostalgic property? Probably not! I'm totally happy to admit that pandering to middle-age nerds by filling a typical studio product with occasional call-backs to obscure bullshit appeased me. By showing a clear love of its source material and being fairly fleet-feeted and entertaining, “Sonic” manages to be one of the better video game movies. It might still rank as mediocre by most barometers, which mainstream critics have more-than-recognized, but I would be lying if I said this film filled me with anything but absolute joy. [7/10]